I Wish I Could Take Like 1-2 Month Break From Work To Play BG3 All I Want And Also To Finally Start Drawing

I wish I could take like 1-2 month break from work to play BG3 all I want and also to finally start drawing big art project related to it I have in mind. I don't know how to manage everything. I am tired, I am frustrated, all I want to do is to do art related things, but they don't pay rent and food and all I get is being tired after work, not wanting to draw, while my head is full of ideas.. how to live really, how to stay sane and act like adult.. seriously, I don't know anymore. :(

This is my sorcerer Sabina's handsome half-elf guardian's sketch. I know who he is already and I chose to fully trust him, though I wonder if this won't backfire in the story's end as his motives aren't still too clear, I am still in the act 3 beginning heh

[guy who hasnt drawn in a few weeks voice] yeah the world is horrible and life is agony

I may try to romance other characters in other runs, but damn I always want to hear these words from him..

Astarion, what are you doing to meee :') <3

Before BG3 was fully released, it felt like my arts had a bit of noticing, and now when it is full game is there and fandom became at least 5X bigger, it feels like my arts are sinking in the shadows again, together with many of us, and just several lucky or those who were popular artists before gets all the spotlight.. I mean, yeah, I draw mostly because of my own pleasure, but still seeing this, being in a big fandom where you are just sank and invisible, well it doesn't help for self esteem, plus when I have plans to actually become an artist full time and leave sciences behind.. That feeling of being invisible kicks me in a guts and just makes me deeply sad, if I am being honest. :(