Rants!! (Warnings Of Self-harm And Suicide)

Rants!! (Warnings of self-harm and suicide)

I'm just gonna rant because idk what to do anymore. Like I really wanna portray my universe and start writing for my OCs but school is such a pain rn and I can barely do anything to cope and it's just so suffocating.

Like dont get me wrong I love school to an extent but I have never wanted to kill myself as much as I did right now, I'm so damn stressed and tired like; I'm really sitting here at 12:28 am wondering why I didnt die back when I was 11. I'm 19 now, something I honestly didnt expect to even live to and yea I did but I really cant rn. Like really really cant.

I know when I feel like I want to self harm or something I'm supposed to message my therapist but I honestly feel like I'm burdening the guy eventhough I'm not supposed to feel that way. I see him on monday so I should be fine,,,,,hopefully.

It sucks that I've been feeling extra lonely recently. I dont have anyone else beside my parents and a few close friends but I only really talk to one person out of all of them because I've just had bad experiences with friendships. I know I told myself I dont need a relationship right now (and quite frankly I'm not in a mental state to be in one) but sometimes its nice to have that kind of intimacy with someone I think,,,

It's been some days since I last inflicted some kind of pain on myself which is good I guess. My self harm no longer involves me cutting but i sort of developed a really bad habit of pulling my hair out??? it sounds stupid but i honestly hate doing it but i cant stop???

I just really wanna start writing again (I have a word doc of inspo stuff I never finished) and I :/. I really could just use a hug from someone other than my mum rn. I dont like hugging my dad still since men still make me really uncomfy irl but god :( when will I catch a break

I'm either gonna delete this or forget it exists

:(((( eddie is so cute

Something Special

Summary; Dustin fails to mention his sister is a cheerleader or the fact he even has one to Eddie and the other older members of Hellfire.

She isn't fussed about being in the popular crowd and kinda keeps to herself. Then she meets Eddie and something special begins.

Warnings; fluff, a lot of fluff. AU season 4

Pairings; Eddie Munson x Henderson! Reader

💕💞

''Are you sure y/n is picking us up?". She hears Lucas ask her brother Dustin and she rushes in knowing she's already late.

Cheer practice overran by ten minutes and she was cramming hard for a test in the library straight after so she lost track of time.

Shit, her mother will freak out if her precious Dustykins is home late.

To her immense irritation when she heads into the auditorium where Hellfire is held, Dustin, Lucas and Mike are still playing Dungeons and Dragons. She huffs.

"Hey dingus, get your ass moving, you know we can't be late or panic will ensue over mums precious Dustykins".

Lucas snorts and Dustin glares at her his cheeks turning pink. "Y/n, we're still playing the game and don't call me that".

He glances to the top of the table where she can just see a head of curly brown hair peeking out, she assumes this is Eddie.

She's heard a lot about him from Dustin who worships Eddie as much as he does Steve Harrington and everyone calls Eddie the freak but she's never actually had a conversation with him.

He puts down whatever he's reading and stands up glowering at Dustin and snaps. "Who the hell is this Henderson and why is she interrupting our campaign!".

Her eyes widen and she heads over to meet him not liking his tone with her brother one bit. If anyone gets to annoy and shout at Dustin it's her.

"Hey! Don't you speak to him like that". Eddie blinks surprised as she marches up to him and Dustin looks panicked. " Shit! Shit!".

"I'm the dungeon master, this is my campaign. You come flouncing in here shouting to Henderson and interrupting the most important part of our game and dare to call me out princess?".

Princess!?

"If I want to come in and get my brother then I will, I didn't know you were still playing". Eddie stares between her and Dustin brow furrowing.

"You didn't tell me you had a sister and that she's a cheerleader or the fact that she's gorgeous Henderson". Eddie says to Dustin who makes a face and she feels her stomach flutter annoyingly.

"Gorgeous ew dude gross and I didn't tell you because she's my annoying big sister and she'd embarrass me". Oh, so she was annoying was she?

"Hey Dusty, what's that song you listen to over and over and I hear you sing to your girlfriend Suziekins...

🎶Turn around look at what you see 🎶 he clamps his hand over her mouth and Lucas and Mike snort in the background.

Eddie looks at her with something akin to approval in his eyes and Dustin shakes his head.

"Don't listen to her Eddie, she's just talking shit". She smirks at him.

"Shouldn't have called me annoying DustyBun". He sighs and she's brought back to focusing on Eddie.

She didn't know why he was called a freak by the other people in the school and just assumed they were narrow-minded because he didn't even seem that bad.

Arrogant and annoying yes but that was it. He was also kinda hot, the leather jacket/denim vest combo, his big brown eyes, the tats? Yeah, it was sexy. He was sexy.

He catches her checking him out and moves closer to her. "You're welcome to stay princess, take a seat. Dustybun won't be long".

Dustin swears and she settles down intrigued by the game and definitely intrigued by Eddie. His eyes catch hers quite a few times and when the game ends he approaches her with a glint In his eyes that makes her whole body tingle.

"So y/n wanna drop off these little shits and rent a movie or something?". Dustin looks at them both in horror.

"Like a date?". She asks suddenly feeling a little shy and he nods.

"Definitely a date sweetheart". She beams and agrees very excited to get to know Eddie better.

"I'd love to".

...

"Ahh shit". Dustin groans.

💞💞

Requests are open 💕

:))

please reblog when you’re done!!!

idk who here needs to hear this, but i’m proud of you for working hard even though you don’t want to, or don’t always feel like you can. you’re growing, healing, and improving every day you decide to keep at it <3

asking them to get you boba [part 1]

feat: bokuto, oikawa, sakusa, suna

notes: fluff, sfw, terms of endearment, minor cursing

a/n: sakusa saying the l word just makes my heart go brr.

anw, part 2? lmk in the comments!

mlist (soon) | likes & reblogs are always appreciated ! ૮˃̵֊ ˂̵ ა

© sunaslay 2022 — do not plagiarize, translate, and/or repost any of my works as your own, particularly on other platforms.

I felt this on my soul it's so good

Insecurity and Love // Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader 

masterlist

Synopsis: Reader isn’t feeling pretty today, but Eddie, who wears his heart on his sleeve, is there to let you know just how much he loves you. 

WC: 1.3k

Category: Hurt/Comfort/Fluff. Some sexually suggestive content.

Content: Reader & Eddie are both 18+!! Insecurity (obviously), reader has some body-image issues and self-esteem issues ig (mentions of not being “thin enough”, not feeling pretty or deserving of love), brief descriptions of making out w Eddie, very brief allusion to cunnilingus, mentions of bottling up emotions, Eddie is a good listener and the sweetest bf ever, use of nicknames (sweetheart, baby, pretty) bc they make me melt, much tenderness <3. 

A/N: This is entirely self-indulgent, enjoy! 

***

“Okay. What’s going on with you today?” Eddie asks, bringing his hands back up to your face as you sit in his lap in his bed, Eddie leaning up against the headboard. 

When you don’t respond and instead look down at your fiddling fingers, he dips his head to look into your eyes. 

“Hm?” He hums, stroking your flaming cheek with the back of his pointer finger. 

You sighed. You didn’t want to bring it up. In fact, you tried so hard all day not to say anything, to keep your mouth shut because you didn’t want to sour the day. But you were not the type of person to hold things in. So many people just seem to bottle up their bad thoughts and feelings and store them away in an isolated part of their minds; locking those pieces of themselves away in the dark where no one can reach them. 

And maybe it’s unhealthy,—keeping things inside like that—but being unable to stop the dam from bursting, the water gushing out, recklessly flowing out and destroying everything in its path felt like a curse sometimes. People always say talking about things will make you feel better, but sometimes it makes you feel worse! Those thoughts and feelings all come out and they won’t stop and then you look like a fool because you probably didn’t make any sense and does anyone even want to listen anyway? Do they even care? 

So, you’d tried the bottling up thing. Which was way harder than it seemed. Especially as you told Eddie everything. And you might not think it most of the time, but he eats up every word. He wants to hear your silly rants about an episode of something you watched on TV the other night. He wants to listen to you drone on and on about your current favourite book or a new song you heard on the radio. He’s always prepared to hear about your shitty day and let you cry into his beat up Metallica t-shirt. And of course he is always ready to completely nerd out with you about any of your shared interests. 

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