"Hey Man! What's Up?" The Man On My Couch Asked. He Looked Just Like Julien, He Couldnt Be Though, Julien

"Hey man! What's up?" The man on my couch asked. He looked just like Julien, he couldnt be though, Julien died 300 years ago. "Who are you? What are you?" I asked the creature on my couch with a confused stare. "You dont remember me?" He asked with a shrug. "I guess it was a few hundred years ago." His signature smirk returning to his face. "Been awhile, Cyrus." The way he said my name made me want to believe he was back. The man who had captured my heart so many years ago. My voice trembled, "J-Julien?". His face lit up with excitement, "So you do remember!", he stood opening his arms as he got close to me. I rushed into his hug, even if this was a dream, or some evil being using his memory to trick me I needed this. "I didnt know you were around anymore, I just happened to see you on the street a few days ago and couldnt stay away." I slowly pulled away, "How are you here?". He smiled as he responded "Dude, I get reincarnated every time I die. How sick is that! I get to keep all my memories too. This go round my name is Mark.". I smiled, he was just as I remembered him. "How are you here Cyrus?" He asked. I smiled nervously getting ready to tell him the long story of being immortal.

Being an immortal has its downsides. One of them is that you have to continue to make friends. Your newest one leaves for an overseas trip and you prepare yourself to lose another. You leave and return your abode, only to find a friend from centuries past sitting on your couch when you return.

I tried to eat a cactus one time but it hurt and I had spines in my fingers for days my friend brought it to school for me and another friend to eat and when we decided we shouldn't I gave it to a friend and she named it fred and gave it to her mom

so about touching grass... well I cant really do that where I live but I can touch cacti (it isnt pleasant so I'd prefer to not do that)

Touch. The. Cacti.

tag yourself im chaotic average

The tall figure walked in with the chained knight following closely behind. He had been beat and captured, he could only guess what would happen to him and the princess now. As they reached the room the villain slowly pushed the door open. The princess looked up at them from her slumped position, wearing shackles and a grim look. He began to speak in a velvety, regal tone, "Here's an important lesson on adventuring: a brave knight would rush to save her. A clever knight would check for traps. But a smart knight would notice she isnt bound at all.". As he said that the knight looked at the princess once more. She raised her shackled wrist and waved, the chain falling limply behind her, attached to nothing but her bracelet.

He gestures to the princess across the room, chained to the wall, “Here’s an important lesson on adventuring: A brave knight would rush to save her. A clever knight would check for traps. But a smart knight would notice she isn’t bound at all.”

i am a:

⚪ Man ⚪ Woman 🔘 Slasher Fucker

looking for a:

⚪ Man ⚪ Woman 🔘 Slasher to Love Me, Fuck Me, and Maybe Kill Me