Im Drooling

i’m drooling

the lack of anthony fics on here is literally detrimental to my health at this point, i NEEED them!

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✨this is a petition for jack to appear in a 'thirst tweets' video, but make it tumblr edition✨ thank you

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🤠

tag your results!

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Seventeen Minutes | S.R

Not my gif

Summary - seventeen minutes a day is all Spencer gets to spend with you but it’s enough for him to quickly fall head over heels for you. Until one day you seemingly disappear off the face off the earth, leaving Spencer questioning everything.

A/N - for my ‘Undercover’ square for @cmbingo - it very loosely fits this square. Set in s8 in place of the Maeve arc

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - fluff, angst with a happy ending

Content warnings - mostly fluff and Spencer being the goddamn cutest human ever, light angst and mentions of residual trauma and therapists

Word Count - 9.6k

Masterlist

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There was nothing greater in life than the smell of freshly ground coffee in the morning, if you asked Spencer Reid.

The scent of the coffee percolating combined with the sounds of the machines whirring and hissing and the buzz of commuters making small talk while they awaited their beverages had a way of grounding Spencer.

Working for the BAU left him only small windows of normalcy. He was out of state more than he was home, he rarely knew if he was coming or going.

But every morning he was in the state, without fail, he stopped by the little coffee shop between the metro station and Quantico on his way to work.

Every morning Spencer would order a black coffee and stand by the window thumbing through whatever book he was reading while he awaited his order.

He let the smell of the coffee beans drift up his nose and the hum of people tickled his ears. There was something so human about it he often thought. When he was in here waiting for his coffee he wasn’t a genius. He wasn’t an FBI Agent. He wasn’t the man with the sick mother.

He was simply one of the nameless, faceless patrons looking for his morning coffee fix. And there was something that felt so beautifully anonymous about that.

His order took a little longer than usual this morning but he didn’t mind. He always left himself plenty of time to get his fix and get to the office without being late.

His order was eventually called and he slipped his paperback inside his satchel and weaved through the people in the small shop towards the collection window.

The young girl handed him his drink with a forced smile and he nodded his thanks before taking his drink and heading to the door.

He brought the take out cup to his lips and took his first sip as his hand went to the door handle.

The assault on his taste buds made me groan audibly and his features scrunched up as he stared at the cup like it had grown a second head.

“Excuse me,” he quickly manoeuvred back to the counter. “I don’t think this is mine.”

The young girl looked at him with a slightly frustrated sigh.

“White chocolate Frappuccino with an extra shot of caramel.” She shrugged.

“Uh…yeah this really isn’t my order.” He chewed on his lip, the sickly sweet sip he’d taken still tingling his tongue.

Spencer liked a sweet coffee, but this was almost obscene. He didn’t know how anyone could drink this, let alone at such an early hour.

The barrister was looking at him like she literally couldn’t care less and certainly made no attempt to make him his actual order.

Thinking he was going to be stuck with the caffeine monstrosity he pouted wondering if he could get past the taste and just enjoy the caffeine hit. And then he heard a small voice breaking through all the noise.

“Let me guess,” the voice was soft and delicate and captivated Spencer’s interest immediately. “Sugary black coffee?”

He turned away from the barrister toward the voice.

You were giving him a warm, friendly smile as you held the coffee cup towards him clearly not as thrown by this mix up as he was.

“And that’s my Frappuccino.” You continued when he didn’t make a move to hand you over your coffee or even speak.

Maybe it was his lack of coffee intake or maybe it was the way your drink was still sitting on his tongue, but Spencer found himself dumbstruck.

Perhaps it had nothing to do with either of those things and everything to do with your smile and your slightly sparkling eyes.

He liked to think that, maybe, had he consumed his coffee, he might have said something witty and maybe even charming. He blamed the lack of it in his system for what he said next and not your captivating beauty.

“Do you know, coffee beans are technically seeds?” He half-smiled, knowing his fact was completely unprovoked and unwarranted. But he didn’t stop there. “They’re actually the pits of cherry-like berries found on flowering shrubs but we refer to them as beans due to their resemblance to legumes.”

What followed was a stretch of uncomfortable silence. Spencer’s facts didn’t get shining reviews at the best of times, least of all when he was spouting them to complete strangers.

You narrowed your eyes on him, letting his words sink in.

He prepared for you to take your coffee off of him and make a dash for it or maybe briefly feign interest before you made your escape.

He did not at all expect the reaction he actually got.

Your face seemed to suddenly break out into a large smile and you looked at him with something akin to fondness in your eyes.

“That is,” you chuckled lightly. “Absolutely fascinating.”

Spencer had received many different reactions to his randomly blurted facts over the years, but genuine interest was completely new to him.

He frowned at you, using his free hand to scratch the back of his head.

“R-really?”

“Really.” You laughed as you took your drink from him and placed his own drink in his now empty hand.

Without another word the two of you headed to the door together. Spencer instinctively held it open for you to pass through first and you thanked him with a slightly shy smile.

On the street the two of you stopped and looked at each other.

“What way are you headed?” You asked him, holding your Frappuccino close to your body as though hugging it.

“Uh that way.” Spencer nodded his head behind him. “I work at Quantico just around the corner.”

“Me too.” You laughed, chewing on your lip.

If Spencer didn’t know any better he’d think you were nervous but he couldn’t understand why.

“You’re FBI?” He asked as the two of you fell into step towards your office.

“Yeah, I’m a TOC Agent.”

Spencer’s eyes widened a little from the unexpectedness. He wasn’t sure what sort of agent he expected you to be, but he hadn’t been expecting that.

The Transnational Organised Crime Unit investigated criminal groups posing great threats to the national and economical security of the United States. The TOC was involved in anything from human trafficking, drug trafficking, sexual exploitation of children to money laundering and mail fraud.

It was a hardcore department and Spencer couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Oh wow.” He sipped his coffee. “That must be interesting.”

“It can be.” You shrugged. “When you pull the drug cases or the prostitution rings. Recently it’s become more like working for cyber crimes though, I spend too much time behind my desk these days for my liking.”

“I suppose that’s the way of the world now. Everything else is taking place online, why not crime?”

“I’m sorry, I didn't ask what you do. How rude of me.” You offered him a guilty smile as you walked together side by side.

“I work for the BAU.”

“No kidding?” You beamed. “That’s fascinating. I’ve always been in awe of what you guys do.”

Spencer felt a blush creeping to his cheeks and he bowed his head a little, hoping to hide it from you.

“Uh…thanks.” He sipped his coffee awkwardly.

For the next block the two of you walked in silence, enjoying the fresh fall breeze and drinking your beverages.

What struck Spencer as odd was how this wasn’t odd. The silence between you wasn’t awkward or stifled. It was comfortable, as though you’d know each other for years.

He held open the door to the building for you to step inside and then followed you in. You waited for the elevator together and Spencer had to focus on the closed doors in front of him so as not to stare at you.

“I don’t mean this to sound weird,” you spoke just as the elevator doors slid open and you both stepped inside. “But I saw the book you were reading in the coffee shop and I wondered if it was any good? I’ve actually been meaning to read it myself.”

Spencer pressed the button for the fourteenth floor and you pressed the one for the tenth.

“It’s my third read actually.” He felt his cheeks burn again. “So I’d say it’s pretty good.”

He used his free hand to open his satchel and pulled the book free of confines.

“Third read, yikes.” You laughed and Spencer felt a shiver pass up his spine at the glorious sound.

“You can borrow it if you like?” He held the book out with a small smile.

You tentatively reached out and ran your fingers over the worn cover.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged as you cautiously took the book from his hand and hugged it to your chest.

“Thank you.” You chewed your lip.

“It’s ok, if anything, it gives me an excuse to see you again.” Spencer instantly wished he could rewind time and take those words back.

How pathetic did that sound?

But you were smiling at him, brighter than before, and he saw a glint in your eyes that made him feel a little weak.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened on your floor.

You took your coffee and the book and stepped out, turning back to Spencer.

“Wait, I didn’t get your name!” He called, dashing to the door to keep it open.

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Beautiful, he thought. Perfect, wonderful, beautiful.

“I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Ok Spencer, maybe I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” He smiled, stepping back from the doors.

The two of you kept eye contact until the doors closed between you.

Once alone as the elevator started it’s ascent again, Spencer leant back against the wall with a content sigh and a smile on his face.

Sure, the smell of freshly ground coffee in the morning was great. But after today, Spencer had a new favourite pick me up he hoped would become tradition.

Looking into your eyes and getting to bask in your illustrious smile, listening to you talk or just walking in silence with you, was superior to any caffeine buzz.

And he couldn’t wait until tomorrow to do it all again.

***

Unfortunately, tomorrow didn’t come until almost a week later.

The BAU had been whisked away on a case in Arizona for four days, leaving Spencer reeling.

Spencer had never had an issue with his job taking him away from home, it was one of the things he enjoyed the most about working for the BAU.

But maybe that was because he’d never had someone waiting for him at home. Going home after a long day to his empty apartment wasn’t always all it was cracked up to be.

Although he didn’t exactly have someone waiting for him now, but the early morning coffee and light conversation with a beautiful and intoxicating woman was more than worth the lonely nights.

The worst part about it was he had no way of letting you know he wouldn’t be there to meet you. You would know the BAU gets pulled away on cases a lot and hopefully you would understand that was the reason he didn’t meet you for coffee the next morning.

But what if you didn’t? What if you’d taken it as a sign that he wasn’t interested? What if you turned up at the coffee shop every day he was gone and each time he wasn’t there you took it to mean he hadn’t enjoyed the short time you’d spent together?

Spencer had very much enjoyed that small window of time with you. He’d been lonely for so long he hadn’t even realised how alone he’d felt.

It had been longer than he could remember, even with his memory, since a woman had shown an interest in him, least of all one as bewitching as you. And it had left him feeling lonelier than ever.

Those four days spent in Arizona seemed like weeks. Time dragged by at an alarmingly slow rate. They would get a lead only for it to fall through. He felt like he’d never get back home. Or back to you.

It was funny how such a brief encounter had such a permanent effect on him. Every second of the run in was etched in Spencer’s mind from the way your eyes captivated him the moment he looked in them, to the way you gazed at him as the elevator doors closed between you.

He could recall what you wore down to the blue hair tie on your wrist and your purple nail varnish that was chipped around the edges.

Spencer recollected your smell, the floral perfume you wore that suited you to a tee. He could still bring to mind the taste of your Frappuccino and he knew for a fact caramel would now forever remind him of you.

Spencer had never found himself smitten before, not so intensely and so quickly. But he simply couldn’t take his mind off of you.

His team could tell he was distracted. He wasn’t offering out his statistics and facts with their usual level of frequency and the geographic profile took him longer to piece together than was normal for the genius.

Thankfully no one dared to ask him about his inattentiveness, because Spencer wouldn’t have a good reason for it.

He couldn’t very well admit he was preoccupied by thoughts of a woman he had a seventeen minute encounter with.

They arrived home late four days after leaving and thankfully Spencer was too exhausted to dwell too much on whether or not he might see you tomorrow.

But he did dream about you when he closed his eyes.

***

Spencer nervously stood on the sidewalk, two coffees in his hands. He was chewing his bottom lip while his stomach did somersaults in anticipation.

He didn’t even know if you’d be here this morning and he would be incredibly downtrodden if you weren’t. But he tried not to think about that.

He’d spent longer than he would care to admit picking out an outfit today which was completely unheard of for Spencer as he usually just grabbed the first thing he came across in his closet.

He finally decided on a pair of his nicest black slacks, a purple shirt that matched the nail polish you’d been wearing and a dark grey cardigan.

Admittedly he probably looked like a teacher's assistant but maybe you liked that? People had some interesting kinks, he hoped yours might be thirty year olds dressing double their age. It had to be someone’s, right?

He managed to check his watch, narrowly avoiding spilling your coffee in the process. He estimated he could realistically wait another five minutes and still get to work on time if he ran all the way to Quantico.

He felt a little foolish if truth be told. The two of you had one brief meeting, he’d spent four days panicking that you’d think he wasn’t interested and now here he was waiting for you like some kind of stalker with your coffee order.

Spencer started to panic. This was weird even for him. You’d probably not given him a second thought when you’d left him in the elevator.

What was he thinking? He was going to come across creepy, you would no doubt freak out if you saw him.

This was a terrible idea, beyond terrible, it was completely insane.

He decided to make a break for it, maybe he could give your coffee to Garcia so it didn’t go to waste.

He turned to head down the street towards Quantico, mentally berating himself for thinking this was a good idea when out of nowhere you were walking down the sidewalk towards him.

Your whole face lit up as soon as he came into view and if Spencer wasn’t mistaken, he swore you quickened your pace towards him.

“Spencer!” You were beaming from ear to ear by the time you reached him, unable to contain the excitement from your voice.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” He smiled shyly in return.

“It’s good to see you. I missed you at the coffee shop.” Your cheeks burnt at your admittance, but the smile that broke out on Spencer’s face went some way to dispel your embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer looked a picture of guilt. “I’ve been away on a case. I wanted so badly to be here to meet you for coffee but…”

“The nature of the beast.” You shrugged. “You’re here now.”

“I got you a coffee.” He held one of the cups out toward you. “White chocolate Frappuccino with an extra shot of caramel.”

You felt a flutter in your stomach as you took the drink from him.

Not only was he extremely easy on the eyes, but he was also incredibly sweet.

You thanked him for the drink as the two of you started your walk towards Quantico together.

“I made a start on the book.” You spoke as you walked, giving him a sideways glance.

“Oh yeah?” He looked back at you, eyes full of curiosity. “How are you liking it?”

“I’m only a few chapters in but I really like it so far.” You nodded with a sip of your drink.

“It only goes up from there.” He smiled shyly before tearing his eyes away from you.

“Where did your case take you?”

“Arizona.” He sipped his coffee. “Family annihilator.”

“Ouch.” You pulled a face. “I’ve been working on an internet auction fraud case all week. I haven’t been out in the field in months.”

Spencer glanced sideways at you and you saw a look in his eyes you hadn’t seen on him before. You weren’t sure what it was until he spoke.

“You were injured.” He spoke softly as you neared the building.

“Is it that obvious?” You sighed a little.

“I’m trained to pick up on things like that. You walk with the slightest hint of a limp.”

“I was working undercover about six months ago. During the course of the investigation I found myself in a…tricky situation.” You smiled in thanks as he opened the door for you. “A drug deal went bad. The clients brought guns and I was shot in the thigh. I had to be extracted and the whole operation went south. We haven’t been able to get close to them since and I’m still on desk duty.”

The elevator doors opened and you both stepped inside. Spencer pressed the buttons for both of your floors.

“I've been there. Literally. I was also shot in the leg in the line of duty once.”

“How long were you out of commission?”

“Several months. It was hard.” He gave you a sympathetic smile.

You rode the elevator in silence after that until it came to a stop on your floor.

As you were heading out, you turned to Spencer.

“I love that colour on you by the way.” You pointed to his shirt. “Purple is my favourite colour.”

“Mine too.” Spencer grinned but a slight blush was spreading to his cheeks.

“Hopefully see you tomorrow?”

“God I hope so.” Spencer breathed just as the doors closed and you disappeared from view.

He had a dopey smile on his face all day after that, already eagerly anticipating your next encounter.

***

They weren’t pulled away on a case and Spencer was able to meet you at the coffee shop the following morning.

He beat you there again, waiting for you on the sidewalk with your Frappuccino and a bouquet of purple flowers.

“Are they…for me?” You felt tears well in your eyes as you approached him.

“Yeah.” He chewed his lip awkwardly. “I hope you like them. I thought they could brighten up your desk.”

“Thank you, Spencer, I love them.” He handed them and your coffee to you and couldn’t help but get up on your tiptoes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

When you pulled away, he was blushing furiously, gnawing on his bottom lip.

He looked at you as though you hung the moon. No one had ever looked at you like that.

You started walking side by side, discussing the book he’d leant you as the sun peaked out from behind the morning clouds.

There was something so comfortable about being around Spencer. He was so easy to talk to and you loved every moment of your morning walks to work together.

Over the coming weeks, whenever Spencer wasn’t pulled away on a case he would meet you at the coffee shop.

You traded books back and forth and discussed them on your walk to the office.

He brought you flowers twice more. Once he brought you chocolates.

You talked about everything together, feeling so comfortable with one another despite the fact you only spent, on average, seventeen minutes with each other at a time.

He told you about his mom and what it was like growing up and dealing with her illness. He told you about his dad leaving, about being a child genius and even about being tied naked to a flagpole in high school.

In return you’d told him about your own family who lived out west and you saw on all the big holidays. You told him about your childhood which was far less torrid than his own.

You talked about your teams, what it was like working for your respective departments, and every other topic under the sun.

You loved your time with Spencer but after a month or so you were starting to wonder why it wasn’t becoming more.

You flirted with him a lot. You were pretty certain it went over his head most of the time. You always asked him what his plans for the weekend were and made it clear that you didn’t have any yourself in the hopes he might get the hint but he never did.

Or maybe he did and he just wasn’t as into you as you thought he was?

It was possible you’d misread his kindness for attraction. Maybe he brought everyone flowers and chocolate? Maybe he was just a really nice guy.

But your seventeen minutes wasn’t enough for you anymore. It pained you every time you had to part ways when the elevator stopped at your floor.

You wanted more and it was obvious Spencer was never going to be the one to make it happen.

That morning you got to the coffee shop early to ensure you’d beat Spencer there and ordered both of your drinks.

You dressed in your favourite purple shirt and tight fitting slacks and applied a little more make-up than usual.

He met you on the curb outside the shop with a bright smile just for you.

“Hey, you never make it here before me.” He chuckled a little as you handed him his drink.

“My train was actually on time for once.” You shrugged.

You noticed him giving you a once over for a second before you started walking.

“You look…different.” He observed.

Different. That wasn’t exactly the description you’d hoped for.

“In a bad way?” You glanced at him.

“No, no.” He shook his head. “Just…different is all.”

You felt a bit disheartened but you tried to ignore it.

You chatted about the newest book he’d given you as you walked but your mind was on other things.

You were trying to build up the nerve to ask him out but every time you went to say something to that effect, the words got caught in your throat.

Because what if he turned you down? What if it ruined whatever weird friendship the two of you had struck up? Was it worth losing that?

You rode the elevator up together and the doors parted on your floor.

You said goodbye and stepped out onto your floor.

You turned to look at him and he was giving you the sweetest smile and it made your stomach swarm with butterflies.

And you knew what you had to do.

You put your arm in the way so the doors couldn’t close, chewing your lip as you hurried out your words.

“Maybe we can get coffee sometime further away from here?”

Spencer’s eyebrows knit together.

“I mean we’d have to get up earlier but I guess we could? Do you not like that place?”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant. I meant, maybe we can get coffee sometime when we aren't on a deadline, you know?”

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed deeper.

“As in…not on a day we have work?”

“Exactly.” You smiled.

“Uh…yeah. Sure.” He was still frowning and his words didn’t sound all that convincing.

You sighed and stepped back from the doors.

“My uh…I wrote my number on your cup. I’ve got to go.” Feeling completely mortified you scurried away thinking you’d probably completely ruined whatever it was between the two of you.

Once the doors were closed Spencer looked down at the hand written number on the side of the cup wondering how he hadn’t noticed it before.

He was deep in contemplation, completely startled when someone cleared their throat.

He spun around to see Blake standing sheepishly in the corner of the elevator.

“I think she was asking you out.” Alex’s expression was amused.

“H-how long have you been there?” Spencer glared at her.

“I got on with you.” She chuckled. “You were too wrapped up in your conversation to notice.”

Spencer felt his cheeks burning self-consciously.

“She wasn’t asking me out.”

“Trust me, Spencer. She was most certainly asking you out.”

His blush deepened and he started retreating into the corner of the elevator just as the doors opened on their floor.

Alex went to step out but was surprised when she felt Spencer’s hand gently wrap around her wrist.

“What do I do, Alex?” He whined a little.

She gave him a soft smile, nodding her head in the direction of his coffee cup.

“I’d start by calling her.” She laughed a little and then she continued out of the elevator, leaving Spencer reeling from the morning's events.

***

Spencer paced the length of his motel room, periodically exhaling loudly.

His phone was his hand, your contact details on the screen.

Your number felt like it had been burning a hole in his phone all day. He’d tried so hard to focus on the case they were working on but his mind had been clouded by thoughts of you.

Alex had covered for him several times today when Hotch or someone had asked him a question and he’d offered only a blank expression in reply.

His mind had been abuzz with thoughts of you.

Was Alex right, had you really been asking him out? And if you had, why?

You were practically perfection personified. Spencer thought you were the most enrapturing woman he’d ever met.

But he was bumbling and awkward and nerdy. There was no conceivable reason in his mind why you would ask him out.

But nonetheless he had your number and it was only polite he did something with it. And Spencer was nothing if not polite.

He continued pacing and hit the call button, putting his phone to his ear and holding his breath while it rang.

It rang three times before you answered and your effortless voice breathed down the phone, “hello?”

“Uh…hi.” Spencer suddenly stopped pacing. “It’s Spencer. Spencer Reid. From the FBI. The BAU. At Quantico.”

Your wonderful laugh filled his ears.

“I got it at Spencer.”

“Right of course.” He shook his head, mentally scalding himself. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. How are you?”

“I’m good. We’re in New York for a case, might be away for a few days.” He started pacing again.

“That’s a shame. I’ll miss you for our morning coffee dates.”

Spencer’s stomach fluttered. Were you flirting with him? It felt suspiciously like you were.

“That’s kind of what I was calling about. Coffee.” He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his racing nerves.

“You were calling about coffee?” Your voice was so breezy it made his heart soar.

“Yeah. You mentioned getting coffee.”

“I did.” You smiled as you spoke.

“Well, I propose that instead of coffee, we get dinner.” He held his breath, awaiting your answer. He didn’t have to wait long.

“That sounds lovely.”

“R-really?”

“Yes.” You laughed.

“You do realise I mean together. Both of us at dinner, at the same table.”

“I hoped so.”

“Ok.” Spencer allowed himself to smile. “Ok great. I’ll call you when I’m back and we can arrange something.”

“I can’t wait.”

There were a few moments of silence that followed where Spencer didn’t know what else to say but he also didn’t want to hang up the phone.

Just the idea that you were on the other end was enough for him and he could have stayed doing this all night.

But of course that would just be weird.

“Uh…Goodnight then.” You spoke after a little while and Spencer couldn’t help but feel a little deflated at the thought of the call ending.

“Right yeah, sorry. You’ve probably got plans or something. I’ll let you go.”

“No, nothing like that. I was just going to read.” You chuckled lightly.

“Oh. Ok.” Spencer chewed on his lip. “Did you maybe want to…talk a little while?”

“I’d love that.”

You and Spencer spoke on the phone until the early hours of the morning. You loved every second of listening to him talk, especially when he got particularly excited about a topic and would become animated and talk so fast you struggled to keep up.

A few times you laughed until your sides hurt. Every second was magical. You were both reluctant to hang up even after all the hours you’d talked for but you both needed some sleep.

And hopefully it wouldn’t be too long until you were face to face again.

***

Spencer was so eager to take you to dinner he’d called you late the night before he was due to leave New York to see if you’d be free the following evening.

Your only other plans had been a long soak in the tub with a glass of wine and book, you knew which you’d prefer.

You’d agonised over what to wear and settled and on a cute purple summer dress you hoped Spencer would love.

He was already waiting for you on the street outside the restaurant when you arrived, dressed even smarter than he usually was somehow.

His face broke out into the biggest smile when he saw you and it made your heart melt that someone could be that excited to see you.

“Hey Y/N.” He stepped closer to you slightly hesitantly.

“Hi Spencer.” You felt your stomach flutter with butterflies as he looked at you as though you were the only person in the world.

“I missed you.” You both spoke in unison which caused you both to laugh.

Spencer awkwardly fiddled with his tie whilst scuffing the toe of his shoe on the pavement.

“Should we uh…go in?” He shrugged looking a picture of nerves.

“Please.”

Spencer tentatively placed his hand on your lower back and led you towards the door of the restaurant.

He used his free hand to open the door and pushed it open, guiding you inside.

It was a cute little boutique French place, no bigger than your living room and dimly lit for ambience. You actually lived in the neighbourhood and passed it several times, always curious about it.

There was no denying it was an extremely romantic venue. You never dreamed someone would want to take you here.

You toyed with the strap of your bag as Spencer talked to the hostess in fluent French for a few seconds before he turned back to you with a smile.

“If you’d like to follow me.” The hostess spoke now in English, and Spencer guided you with a hand on your back again to follow her.

“You speak French?” You whispered as you walked.

“I can get by.” He shrugged, not wanting to brag and go in about all the languages he could speak.

She led you through the small dining area towards the back and through a thick curtain.

Behind the curtain was a private table set up away from other patrons with a candle and flower arrangement in the centre.

You looked around in awe and slight confusion as Spencer held your chair out for you. You slowly sat down, chewing on your lip as he sat opposite you.

“Can I get you some wine?” The hostess asked as he slid his jacket off.

“Do you like wine?” He looked at you, his eyes illuminated by the candle in such a magical way.

“Red, please.” You nodded.

Spencer perused the wine menu briefly before choosing a bottle and soon the waitress was leaving back behind the curtain.

You were still looking around, feeling tears springing to your eyes.

“I don’t actually know anything about wine.” Spencer chuckled a little nervously. “I just picked one that sounded the nicest.”

Your eyes landed back on him, large and wide.

“W-what is all this? H-how did you…w-why did you…?”

“My friend Morgan used to date the hostess. He pulled some strings for me. I hope it’s not too much.” His cheeks burnt, feeling like he might have gone too far.

But you smiled, shaking your head.

“It’s perfect.” You breathed. “No one’s ever gone to so much trouble for me, is all.”

His face fell and his hand quickly found yours on top of the table.

“That’s inconceivable.” He frowned a little. “You deserve the world.”

You blushed furiously looking away from him briefly before looking back at him.

He looked at you like you were the only person in existence. He looked at you as though he could fall in love with you any second.

You might just let him.

“You’re too sweet.” You replied shyly as the waitress brought your wine and poured you both a glass before leaving soon after.

“I just wanted our first date to be perfect.” He kept his hand on yours and used his free one to pick up his wine glass. “Not that…I mean…I hope I’m not being presumptuous calling this date! I just meant that…I…uh…”

You laughed, causing his words to die in his throat.

“I’m fairly certain this is a date.” You giggled, calming his nerves.

“Ok. Good.” He smiled, squeezing your hand gently. “You look absolutely beautiful by the way. I should have said that the minute I saw you but you rendered me a little speechless if truth be told.”

“You have that effect on me too.” You confessed, feeling your cheeks burning.

You felt giddy as he looked at you, like some kind of teenager with her first crush. You felt light headed and if you were standing your legs would surely be too wobbly to hold you up.

Spencer made you feel things you’d never felt before. Even if you only usually spent seventeen minutes together.

There was an air about the two of you. There was something that told you this was the start of something incredible.

You fell into comfortable conversation. Spencer spoke animatedly with his hands when he was excited about something and you adored every second of listening to him talk.

And equally when you talked he listened with the kind of attentiveness you’d never experienced before.

By the time dinner was over you knew it wouldn’t take much at all for you to fall head over heels for him completely.

***

He walked you the few blocks back to your apartment and the conversation continued.

When you reached your building you were both slightly downtrodden that the night was over.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking awkward as he scuffed his shoe on the pavement again.

He wanted nothing more than to kiss you, but he didn’t want to push his luck. He didn’t want to scare you away.

“I had the most wonderful time tonight.” You smiled softly at him.

“Me too.” He removed his hands from his pockets and tucked his messy hair behind his ears.

The two of you looked at each other for a moment, wondering what happened next.

You swallowed your nerves and came closer to him, getting up on your tiptoes so you could place a gentle kiss to his cheek.

You heard a soft whimper leave his lips at the contact.

As you pulled away, his hands cupped your face and you saw him take a deep breath before he pressed his lips to yours.

You sighed into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him close to you.

His hands were so large they engulfed your face and his lips were slightly chapped but felt amazing nonetheless.

You dared to cautiously part your lips and gently ran your tongue along his bottom lip. He responded in kind by parting his own lips, allowing you to deepen the kiss.

It was everything you’d always dreamed of from a kiss. The whole world around you melted away, the only thing that mattered was Spencer and his lips on yours.

You were both out of breath when the kiss ended and Spencer was smiling at you in the most incredible way it made a shiver pass up your spine.

He let go of your face and stepped back a little.

“Just when I thought the night couldn’t be any more perfect.” He blushed.

“I had a truly wonderful time.” You agreed.

“I’ll see you for coffee in the morning?”

“I can’t wait.” You nodded, slowly turning towards your building.

When you reached the door you looked back over your shoulder to see him still watching you. You gave him a shy smile before forcing yourself inside.

That night you fell into a peaceful sleep and dreamt of Spencer Reid.

***

Spencer was running late to work the following morning, sweat gathering at his temples as the elevator made its painfully slow ascent.

He’d waited for you for half an hour at the coffee shop but you hadn’t shown up.

Eventually he had to leave or he’d be really late. He ran the few blocks as fast as he could while trying not to spill the remains of his coffee.

Now in the elevator he tried to catch his breath, but it was hard to do when a weight felt as though it was pressing down on his chest.

It was probably just a case that you were late this morning and didn’t have time for your regular coffee stop. He knew first hand how unreliable the trains could be.

But, and maybe it was Spencer’s pessimistic nature, it felt like more than that. He thought you’d had a great time last night together, had that all been in his head?

Had the easy conversation and the laughter and the incredible kiss been all his imagination?

He decided to text you, hoping that might alleviate some of his detrimental thoughts.

📲 Y/N Y/L/N: Hi Y/N, it’s Spencer. I hope everything is ok, I missed you at the coffee shop this morning. Anyway, hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow.

An unnerving sensation washed over him. He didn’t feel good about this. And he was sure it went deeper than his usual pessimism.

***

By the third day you still hadn’t shown up for your usual coffee mornings and Spencer still didn’t have a reply to any of his eight text messages.

He’d even tried calling you a few times, but each time it went through to your voicemail. He couldn’t bring himself to leave a message.

At lunch time he excused himself from the office telling Emily he was going to grab a sandwich from the nearby deli. He actually took the elevator to the tenth floor.

He was playing with the strap of his satchel as he awkwardly shuffled towards the front desk feeling like he might be crossing some kind of line in being here.

The man behind the desk looked up as Spencer approached with a slightly disarming frown.

“Are you lost?” He asked, frustration evident in his voice.

“Uh…no. I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?”

“N-no.” Spencer felt extremely uncomfortable. “I uh…I’m looking for someone. Agent Y/L/N.”

“I think you must be lost.” The man grumbled as though he wanted to be doing anything else in the world than talking to Spencer. “There is no Agent Y/L/N that works here.”

Spencer’s brows furrowed as he looked around. Had he gotten the wrong floor?

“This isn’t the TOC?”

“It is.” The man folded his arms now.

“Oh.” Spencer was spiralling into confusion. “Agent Y/L/N definitely works for the TOC. Could you maybe check for me?”

“I don’t need to check.” He spoke pointedly. “We’re a small team. I know all the agents who work here. And I have never heard of Agent Y/L/N.”

Spencer suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on him. The man behind the desk either had a great poker face or he was telling the truth.

But if the latter were the case, how could that be? He’d seen you get off on this floor more times than he could count, you spoke about your job at the TOC all the time.

It had to be some kind of mistake? It just had to be.

“I-I don’t understand.” Spencer croaked, feeling dizzy. “I’m sure she works here.”

“And I’m sure she doesn’t.” He rolled his eyes just as the phone on the desk started ringing. “Excuse me.”

Spencer watched him pick up the phone and start talking down the receiver.

He stumbled backwards, trying to comprehend what had just happened.

But he couldn’t make any sense of it and that was a new feeling for Spencer. He could usually make sense of everything.

His brain was muddled, nothing making sense and somehow he ended up back at his desk.

For the rest of the day he struggled to concentrate or anything that didn’t directly pertain to you. And before he left for the day he found himself making a pit stop at Garcia’s office.

“Everything ok, G man?” She frowned at the troubling look on his face.

“I need a favour.” He croaked, his voice trembling.

“Anything for you.” She motioned him closer and he slowly stepped across the room until he was behind her.

“I need you to look up a file for me. Her name is Y/N Y/L/N and she’s an agent. At least I think she is.”

Garcia gave him a skeptical look. Of course it wasn’t the first time one of the team had asked her help with something personal but Spencer never had. Not even once.

She knew if he was asking to utilise her skills to find someone, it was someone very important.

“You know I’d help you with anything, giant brain.” She tilted her head up at him. “But can you give me some kind of sprinkle of information as to why you want me digging into a fellow agent?”

Spencer exhaled an extremely long and loud breath before he was telling Garcia everything.

He regaled her with every detail from your first meeting in the coffee shop to your dinner date and all the seventeen minute increments between.

Garcia was smiling sympathetically when he finished, fingers already working on the keyboard.

“Go home and get some rest, Reid. I’ll do some digging and I’ll have everything I can find ready for you in the morning.”

Spencer thanked her and slumped out of the room.

He didn’t know what he expected Garcia to find but he had to try something.

***

Spencer had an extremely fretful night's sleep. In the morning he went by the coffee shop again, just in case, but you didn’t show.

When he found his way to Garcia’s office he could tell by the look on her face whatever she’d found wasn’t good.

“I’m sorry Spencer,” she hit a key on her keyboard and her multiple screens sprung to life.

He was met by a file photograph of you but all the text that should be there was blacked out, redacted in its entirety.

“I d-don’t understand.” Spencer frowned.

“Not even my amazing skills can cut through this kind of bureaucratic red tape. She is an agent. But that’s as much as I can tell you. I’m so sorry.”

Spencer stared at your image on the screen. None of this made any sense. He was more confused now than he’d ever been. What did an agent have to do to get their file redacted this way? Someone didn’t want anyone reading your file.

“What does this mean?” He croaked feeling his lungs empty of air.

“It can mean any number of things. None of them are particularly good.”

Spencer’s stomach turned and he felt suddenly nauseous. Was it possible you weren’t the person he’d thought you were? Had you been lying to him this whole time?

Was he a complete and utter idiot for falling for it all?

He thanked Garcia and stumbled from her office as though he’d been sucker punched.

Even his impressive brain couldn’t make sense of all of this. And Spencer hated when he couldn’t make sense of things.

But he’d have a whole lot of time to contemplate it because it would be a really long time before he saw you again.

***

Two Years Later

Spencer had to learn how to go about his life in the wake of your sudden departure. He had to try and forget about you and go back to his life before you were in it.

It shouldn’t have been as hard as it was. In reality the two of you had never spent that much time together, you’d only gone on one date. But Spencer had quickly grown accustomed to having you in his life and he found it harder than he should have to just let the memory of you go.

He continued going to the coffee shop every morning for three months, when he wasn’t away on a case.

Not once did you show up and honestly he was never surprised. He knew at this point he’d never see you again but he couldn’t help but cling to a tiny glimmer of hope that this was all some kind of misunderstanding.

But he knew better than that. And eventually he stopped going to the coffee shop in the hopes of seeing you and simply went because it was a routine for him.

And then after three months, he just stopped going altogether.

It took a lot longer than three months for him to stop thinking about you on a daily basis. But over time he thought about you less and less frequently until one day he stopped thinking about you entirely.

Eventually you’d just become a distant memory of a woman he used to know.

He wasn’t sure when he started going to the coffee shop again. It hadn’t been a conscious decision, it just sort of happened one day. His train was early and he needed coffee and he had time to kill so he found himself waiting in line in the familiar shop.

And after that he started frequenting it more often. Not every day, but once a week or so he would stop by for his morning fix before walking alone to Quantico.

He stood by the window thumbing through his book, glancing up occasionally in the direction of the counter.

That time when he looked up the barrister nodded at him, so Spencer hurriedly tucked his book away and weaved through the people towards the counter.

The barrister handed him his drink and he thanked her before carrying it out onto the street.

He’d taken three steps away from the coffee shop when he took his first sip.

The intense sugary liquid stung his tongue and he pulled a face, groaning as he glared at the cup like it would have the answers.

The flavour swirling around his taste buds brought back a distant memory. He’d experienced this before. He would know that sweet yet bitter taste anywhere.

White chocolate Frappuccino with an extra shot of caramel.

“I think our drinks got mixed up. Again.”

He spun around at the sound, heart thudding hard against his rib cage.

You granted him a half-smile, holding out another cup in his direction.

Without a word he took the cup from your hand and returned your drink to you. His hands were shaking slightly and he hoped you didn’t notice.

He took you in subtly. Your hair was different and your eyes held a kind of sadness he didn’t remember seeing in them before. You had an almost world weary look about you.

“Should I go?” You chewed your lip with a shrug.

Spencer continued to stare at you. There were so many things he’d thought about saying to you over the years but they all died in his throat.

“I should go.” You nodded, swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. “It was nice to see you.”

Spencer watched as you walked past him and continued down the street in the direction of Quantico.

His head felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton wool. He couldn’t think of a single useful thing to say or do. A part of him wasn’t even sure you were really there at all.

But he had to say something. He couldn’t let you just vanish again without knowing what the hell had happened.

“Where did you go?” He suddenly called after you and when you turned back to him, he was jogging over to you.

You fell into step together as you continued down the street.

“I got called in early the day after our date. My unit chief had an urgent case. They’d found a way in to an underground sex trafficking ring that has been operating and evading capture for year. She found an in, and she wanted me to go undercover to help infiltrate it.”

“Undercover.” Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose.

Of course, it made sense. The TOC often worked undercover and he knew you’d been undercover before but that had never even crossed his mind. What was the point of having a stupidly high IQ if he brain stopped working when he needed it most?

“Yeah.” You chewed you on your lip, glancing at him as you walked. “It was effective immediately. I wanted to call you but I couldn’t. It was time sensitive. It was sensitive in every sense of the word.”

That would explain the security measure. It explained why when he asked about you the receptionist had lied and told him you didn’t work there. It would explain why your file was redacted.

Why had he of all people not drawn these conclusions?

“When did you…when did you get back?” He made it sound like you’d been on vacation.

“About a month ago. I was given time off, I needed to be psychologically evaluated before I was signed off to go back to work. Today's my first day back.”

He looked over at you, your facial expression saying all the things you’re words didn’t.

“I can’t even imagine what you must have been through.”

You shrugged, plastering on a smile.

“It was for the greater good. We got the ring leaders. They’re going away for a long time.”

He noticed the sparkle that used to be evident in your eyes was gone. Your smile didn’t seem genuine. He wondered what horrors you’d had to face and if you’d ever really get over that.

“I’m glad you’re back. I missed you.” He confessed.

“I missed you too. But uh…after everything I’ve been through these past two years, I’m just trying to get back to normality, to remember who I really am, you know?” You glanced at him again, his face told you he knew what you were saying.

“It’s ok, Y/N, I get it. Trust me.” He smiled at you and it made your heart melt the way it always used to.

You nodded and then the two of you fell into silence as you walked the rest of your route. It wasn’t quite such a comfortable silence as it had once been.

You really had missed Spencer. You thought about him every single day you were undercover. Some days the thought of him was the only thing that allowed you to hold on.

He’d done more for you than he would ever know and maybe one day you’d be able to thank him for it. But right now you just needed normal. The last thing you needed was to throw yourself into a relationship that psychologically you weren’t ready for.

Throwing yourself into Spencer’s arms at letting him help you work through your trauma would be easy. But it wouldn’t be fair on either of you.

He held the door open for you and your stomach twisted into knots as you stepped back into the Quantico headquarters after so long away.

You had to be ready for this. You needed to come back.

In the elevator Spencer pressed the buttons for your respective floors and you stood in silence again.

There were so many things you both wanted to say but nothing seemed good enough for the current situation.

There were infinite words in the English language but somehow Spencer didn’t think any of them were going to help. Whatever you’d been through had clearly changed you and he needed to take a step back and let you deal with it without his feelings for you getting in the way.

Life was a truly cruel mistress.

The elevator seemed to travel slower than usual today and the tension in the small room was palpable.

You kept glancing at Spencer, your eyes falling instinctively to his lips as you replayed your one and only kiss over in your head much like you’d been doing for the past two years.

The memory of that kiss had been a lifeline for you. You spent so long under an assumed identity and every day little pieces of the person you really were had slipped away. But that kiss kept you anchored.

At night when you crawled into your cot in the room surrounded by several other women, you would close your eyes and run your fingers over your lips.

If you concentrated hard enough you could still feel Spencer’s lips pressed against you.

When he looked up at you he saw your eyes trained on his lips and he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat at the thought of your lips on his.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his and your cheeks both reddened instantly.

You giggled slightly, feeling like that light headed, giddy teenager you had on your first date.

Spencer laughed too, shaking his head.

“Spencer?” You whispered after your laughter had subsided.

“Yes, Y/N?”

“I really did miss you.”

Somehow you must have stepped closer to him and now you were right in front of him, close enough to reach out for him if you chose.

He kept his arms pinned to his sides, desperate not to cross the line you’d created.

“I missed you too. I really missed you.”

And with that you placed your hands on his chest, got on your tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss to his lips.

Spencer’s arms snaked around you, pulling you closer while deepening the kiss almost immediately. It was different from your first kiss. It was more passionate, hungrier and desperate.

It was two hopeless, lost people coming together in a moment of sheer longing.

The elevator came to an abrupt stop and the doors parted, causing you to jump back from Spencer.

You stepped backwards, keeping your eyes on him as you backed out of the elevator.

“I really do need some time, Spencer.” You sighed a little, hoping the kiss hadn’t given him some kind of false hope.

“It’s ok, Y/N.” He smiled at you, toying with the strap of his bag. “I already waited two years for you, I can wait a little longer.”

You smiled back, feeling tears obscure your vision.

“Thank you, Spencer. You really are so sweet.”

He waved a hand at you as if to brush off your compliment, his cheeks burning furiously.

“See you tomorrow hopefully?” He leant back against the elevator wall.

“I hope so.” You nodded just as the doors started to close and Spencer slowly disappeared from sight.

He exhaled and closed his eyes as the elevator started moving again. His lips tingled from your kiss and he knew from experience that they would for a while.

Spencer was sure, more so now than ever before, that he was in fact in love with you. Just one brief meeting with you again ignited those feelings inside him he had long ago shut away.

You made everything feel as though it was going to be ok just with your mere presence. Your existence in Spencer’s life was more important to him than anything.

He could wait for you. He had no intention of rushing you or pressuring you with his own agenda. He would wait patiently until you were ready to take the next step, until you were ready to be something more.

And until then, seventeen minutes would be enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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idk what this is but i find it cute