Dad Doing The Speaking For You When You're In Public

dad doing the speaking for you when you're in public ౨ৎ

ever since i was a little kid i knew i wanted to stay a little kid

thinking about caregivers confiscating cellphones, wallets, and housekeys to replace with plastic toys and chocolate coins….taking away cosmetics and jewelry to replace with play pretend makeup palettes and candy necklaces….swapping your tablet for a leapfrog, adding some training wheels to your bike… etc etc

infantilise me.

convince me i'm too dumb and naive to make my own decisions.

make my decisions for me

control everything i do <3

What to say to a little one who thinks she’s a big girl

“Has the big girl made a little tinkle in her diaper? I think she has…”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to put your juice in a bottle? Daddy won’t be happy if you spill it everywhere.”

“But big girls don’t need cuddles and a story before bedtime, I thought you were a big girl!”

“No, no, I understand you’re big now, Daddy just needs to check why your nappy is sagging so much at the back…”

“You better eat all that food I’ve made you, because if Daddy finds out you can’t finish your big girl dinner, you’ll be right over my knee for a spanking. Then we’ll see what a ‘big girl’ you are.”

“What? You want your binky and teddy bear? But you’re all grown up now, only babies need their binky, don’t they?”

“I know, sweetie, don’t get upset. It’s hard pretending to be a grown-up like Daddy, isn’t it? I think you’re better off staying little for a bit longer.”