i’ll burn for you
147 posts
Paarksunghoon - Tumblr Blog
Okay okay hear me out cuz I haven't stopped thinking about this. Sitting on boyfriend heeseung's lap and playing with his neck chain, giggling to yourself, telling him that you really like when he wears it. When he asks why, you shyly tell him that you imagine it dangling on your face while he's on top of you. And he loses his goddamn mind. ARGH
It’s kinda my dream for this to happen to me. bye
***
Neither you nor Heeseung are paying attention to the shitty movie playing on Netflix. You’re too preoccupied with chasing his lips and he’s too busy squeezing your hips to care that the film is halfway over.
It’s been like this for the past few minutes or so with your boyfriend, who you had been crushing on since the beginning of the year and him just a few months shy of that. It’s new, maybe only a week or so into this new relationship, but the newfound romance sparks curiosity within you.
His silver necklace has a small pendant in the middle and the chain against his skin makes him look like walking sex. Heeseung is far more experienced than you are, having gone through a phase in college where all he wanted to do was get his dick wet and make as many girls cum on his mouth, fingers, and cock before finally realizing all he wanted to do was settle down with one person.
His kisses are always so deliberate and calculated like he’s trying to prove something to you. His hands don’t wander for the fear of making you uncomfortable because he knows you aren’t as forward with your romantic past. Sex positivity and all of that; neither of you really care about how many or how little people you’ve collectively hooked up with because none of that matters when you have each other.
Still, thinking about how you paint yourself as some kind of saint makes Heeseung want to test your limits and it makes his dick jump every time he thinks about it.
The farthest you’ve gone was dry humping in his dorm room when his roommate was gone for the weekend. Again, this whole relationship is new and neither of you care to rush yourselves into it because you were friends before you became a couple. But even so, he has needs and so do you. It’s just a matter of pursuing sex when it feels right.
Heeseung feels your fingertips playing with the chain against the back of his neck. He smiles into the kiss and soothes your skin with his thumb, pulling back only slightly until his lips rest against yours.
“You like my necklace, baby?” he asks in a soft whisper, enjoying your plump lips against his. A giggle bubbles out of you and you can’t stop it. The sound reverberates against his mouth and Heeseung smiles wider, pushing his lips against yours. “What’s so funny?”
You shake your head and peck him once. “Nothing. You look pretty with it on.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” Your fingers caress the metal and his skin at the same time. “I really like it when you wear it.”
“Why’s that, baby?”
“I dunno.” You lean back and look at him, shrugging your shoulders like you want to say something more but don’t. “I just do.”
“C’mon. There must be a reason.” Heeseung squeezes your hips and smiles at you lazily. He watches you bite your lip and avert his eyes. So fucking cute.
“I’m too shy to say it.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Heeseung promises, leaning forward to kiss your cheek tenderly. He waits for you to look at him and encourages you to talk to him by nodding. That heat creeps up your neck.
“I-I imagine it dangling over me sometimes.”
Heeseung’s hands freeze and grip your hips. “What do you mean?” You look behind him before he beckons you to look at him again.
“I…think about you on top of me with your necklace in my face.”
He gulps. “What are we doing?”
“Having sex.”
You say it so quietly. It’s barely a whisper but the way you say it makes you sound like being fucked is something you think about often. The gears in his head turn and he’s thinking about all of the mental images he’s conjured up in his head when he touches himself to avoid putting you on the spot whenever he gets horny.
But now it’s as if the gates are open. His mind is flooded with different scenarios but he can’t stop picturing what you’d look like underneath him, specifically with his necklace dangling over your tits as he pushes his cock into you for the first time.
“Heeseung?” you ask tentatively, afraid that you might’ve taken things too far.
Your boyfriend catches you by surprise. He bucks his already semi-hard dick up into your clothed lap and a groan emits from the back of his throat.
“Fuck.”
He scoops you up in his arms and ignores your yelp in favor of carrying you to the bedroom with your legs wrapped securely around him. Neither of you care that the TV is still on. Heeseung can only think about what you’d look like with his pendant right next to your mouth.
“I need to fuck you right now,” Heeseung moans when he places you onto the mattress and pushes his clothed dick against your core. “Need to see that right now.”
You don’t complain.
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
What’s ur thought on GYATT and who has the most GYATT in txt
HAHAHAHAHAH twitter has been so funny today especially with that clip of soobin and the selca and while im not super into txt, im gonna say soobin for the fuck of it all
here are some of my fav tweets
come chat with me
u guys…perhaps some of you would like to entertain me in my inbox 🤨
y’all i got obsessive, ingenious, familiar lmao
I'm so scared of blowjobs. What if I throw up on his cock? 😭
it’s perfectly normal to be scared!! I know I was. there’s a first time for everything and foreplay is included in that category.
what I will say though—do it at your own pace and don’t let anybody force you to go down on a guy if you’re not ready. also do not under any circumstance try to push dick down your throat if you aren’t used to it bc while it’s played up in fics, it should be enjoyable for all parties. go at your own pace and learn what you can handle first. your partner should always be respectful of your experience/inexperience.
i saw a jay edit with him and lollipops… pls do your magic 🤧💗
your wish is my command 😇
***
“Tastes so sweet, baby.”
Jay pushes the lollipop in his mouth and you’re forced to watch his tongue roll over the hard candy while your legs are spread wide open, one of his hands harshly gripping your thigh with palm. He looks at you when he swipes his tongue over the cherry-flavored lollipop and chuckles when he sees your eyes following his mouth.
“Keep this for me, yeah?” Jay beckons your mouth open by pushing the lollipop towards you. The candy is wet and warm from and your hips buck at the sight of his reddened tongue hovering over you. “Gonna eat this pretty fucking pussy.”
Jay descends on your folds and licks you like he licked the lollipop. He lets his spit drip over you and scoops up your arousal with tongue just to spread it around. His palms push your legs flat on the mattress while you try not to bite the candy with your teeth. But he’s making it hard, especially when his expert technique makes you want to buck your hips right into his face.
His tongue laps and laps over you until he moves the tip of his tongue to thrust right into your open, warm hole. Jay moves his head back and forth to push his tongue in and out of you, loving the way you squirm beneath him. The tip of his nose bumps your clit on occasion and it has you moaning around the candy.
Jay lifts himself up and grins to himself when you whine at the loss of his tongue. He pulls the white stick from your hand and pushes the lollipop back in his mouth.
“You taste like cherry, you know that?” God, Jay’s so fucking good at making you clench around nothing. “Wish I could take you wherever I go and eat you out wherever I want.”
Jay pulls the candy from his mouth and angles his head above your pussy, gathering a wad of spit before letting it slowly drip onto your clit. He loves hearing you whimper, especially when you see the wet string until it inevitably breaks.
Before you can think of his tongue again, Jay brings the lollipop to your pussy and pushes the candy around the spit. He gathers the wetness and rubs the it over your slit in a back and forth motion, staring at your pussy like he’s just hit the jackpot. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth parts open wide, a pained moan emitting from his throat. You swear it could’ve been a whimper.
“Fuuuuck. Yeah, you’re gonna taste so fucking sweet in just a minute.” His pretty hands keep sliding the lollipop up and down your slit.
Your hips buck against the candy when he puts it directly onto your clit. “Fuck, Jay.”
“Yeah? You like that?” You moan when he lightly taps the lollipop against your bud. “Like it when I use this on you? Wish you could see how hot you look.”
He taps it against you a few more times before pulling the candy back and sucking it once more. Jay’s lips look incredible around it and the satisfied moan that comes deep within his chest makes your clit ache. You welcome the remnants of the lollipop when Jay puts it back in your mouth and moan around it when his tongue is back on you.
It’s like he’s on double time now. Jay licks up a fat stripe when he goes back down and flattens his tongue like he’s trying to taste all of you at once. He buries his nose deep within you and doesn’t worry about breathing as long as his tongue continues to taste the mixture of your arousal and the artificial cherry he’s come to associate with you.
He laps you up like a dog drinking water after a hot summer day. He’s precise but quick, tongue expertly grazing over all of your sensitive points as your hips buck against his face. This time, Jay isn’t forcing your legs down to be obedient for him. He’s gripping your thighs and doesn’t care that you’re starting to suffocate him by squeezing his head. The pleasure feels far too good and he moves his body until his hard cock is directly on his bed.
Jay brings down in his boxers and humps the mattress below him, not caring that he might look like an inexperienced teenager. He knows he’s got the mouth of a sex god when you moan for him. He feels the vibrations in your pussy and it only urges him to continue his ministrations. Jay’s fingertips grip your meaty flesh and he pushes his hips down below him, not caring that he’s probably making the bed move.
Your own hips chase after his mouth erratically like you’re thrashing around. You have to pull the candy out of your mouth to prevent yourself from choking as the bottom half of your body moves until you’re arching off of the bed. The added pressure of his tongue reaching the deepest points inside of you pushes you over the edge and you swear you’ve never come so hard in your life.
Jay moans right into you as soon as he tastes your release. He humps the bed harder and pushes his rock hard cock against the fabric of his boxers until he’s spilling into it, the sticky, wet mess turning him on even more than he already is.
He feels his cum spurt out in thick ropes as you come down from your high and soothes your pussy over with a gentle motion of his tongue as he finishes his own orgasm. Jay’s eyes lift to your face and sees your euphoric expression between the valley of your breasts and pushes his cock against the mattress one final time before pulling himself away from your body.
When you feel him move off or the bed, you put the lollipop back in your mouth and suck on the candy. You watch as Jay kneels beside you on his knees, pushing down his boxers to pull out his still-hardened cock with his cum around it.
Eagerly, you discard of the candy by handing it to him and wrapping your lips around his dick, putting the enlarged head between your lips as your tongue runs over his slit to catch the last bit of cum. Jay watches from above and finishes the rest of the lollipop while you push your head further onto his cock to clean him up, humming at the salty taste of his orgasm.
Your tongue runs underneath his dick and he twitches inside of you. With the way you keep pulling him into your warm, wet mouth and how your cheeks are hollowed to created a makeshift vacuum, it’s no surprise that Jay cums again.
Jay throws his head back and lets out a long, deep moan. He discards of the white stick on his night table and pushes his cock into you until the tip hits the back of your throat. You keep your head there, hand coming up to massage his balls as you milk every last drop out of him. He pulls back when he finishes cumming and drags his cock against your tongue until he slips out of you. Still half-hard, Jay pulls your body to the edge of the bed as you yelp.
“Such a good mouth, making me finish like that. Wanna cum for a second time?”
Jay doesn’t wait for you to nod and pushes himself inside, forcing his semi-hard dick into your hole and groans at the pain and overstimulation. You moan and claw at his abdomen at the delightful intrusion. It feels too good for the both of you to quit right now. He doesn’t want to stop the sex marathon he’s started with you.
And he doesn’t. Neither of you know how many orgasms are shared collectively between you two by the time you’re too spent to continue fucking m. All you know is that the room smells like candy and sex.
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
i saw a jay edit with him and lollipops… pls do your magic 🤧💗
your wish is my command 😇
***
“Tastes so sweet, baby.”
Jay pushes the lollipop in his mouth and you’re forced to watch his tongue roll over the hard candy while your legs are spread wide open, one of his hands harshly gripping your thigh with palm. He looks at you when he swipes his tongue over the cherry-flavored lollipop and chuckles when he sees your eyes following his mouth.
“Keep this for me, yeah?” Jay beckons your mouth open by pushing the lollipop towards you. The candy is wet and warm from and your hips buck at the sight of his reddened tongue hovering over you. “Gonna eat this pretty fucking pussy.”
Jay descends on your folds and licks you like he licked the lollipop. He lets his spit drip over you and scoops up your arousal with tongue just to spread it around. His palms push your legs flat on the mattress while you try not to bite the candy with your teeth. But he’s making it hard, especially when his expert technique makes you want to buck your hips right into his face.
His tongue laps and laps over you until he moves the tip of his tongue to thrust right into your open, warm hole. Jay moves his head back and forth to push his tongue in and out of you, loving the way you squirm beneath him. The tip of his nose bumps your clit on occasion and it has you moaning around the candy.
Jay lifts himself up and grins to himself when you whine at the loss of his tongue. He pulls the white stick from your hand and pushes the lollipop back in his mouth.
“You taste like cherry, you know that?” God, Jay’s so fucking good at making you clench around nothing. “Wish I could take you wherever I go and eat you out wherever I want.”
Jay pulls the candy from his mouth and angles his head above your pussy, gathering a wad of spit before letting it slowly drip onto your clit. He loves hearing you whimper, especially when you see the wet string until it inevitably breaks.
Before you can think of his tongue again, Jay brings the lollipop to your pussy and pushes the candy around the spit. He gathers the wetness and rubs the it over your slit in a back and forth motion, staring at your pussy like he’s just hit the jackpot. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth parts open wide, a pained moan emitting from his throat. You swear it could’ve been a whimper.
“Fuuuuck. Yeah, you’re gonna taste so fucking sweet in just a minute.” His pretty hands keep sliding the lollipop up and down your slit.
Your hips buck against the candy when he puts it directly onto your clit. “Fuck, Jay.”
“Yeah? You like that?” You moan when he lightly taps the lollipop against your bud. “Like it when I use this on you? Wish you could see how hot you look.”
He taps it against you a few more times before pulling the candy back and sucking it once more. Jay’s lips look incredible around it and the satisfied moan that comes deep within his chest makes your clit ache. You welcome the remnants of the lollipop when Jay puts it back in your mouth and moan around it when his tongue is back on you.
It’s like he’s on double time now. Jay licks up a fat stripe when he goes back down and flattens his tongue like he’s trying to taste all of you at once. He buries his nose deep within you and doesn’t worry about breathing as long as his tongue continues to taste the mixture of your arousal and the artificial cherry he’s come to associate with you.
He laps you up like a dog drinking water after a hot summer day. He’s precise but quick, tongue expertly grazing over all of your sensitive points as your hips buck against his face. This time, Jay isn’t forcing your legs down to be obedient for him. He’s gripping your thighs and doesn’t care that you’re starting to suffocate him by squeezing his head. The pleasure feels far too good and he moves his body until his hard cock is directly on his bed.
Jay brings down in his boxers and humps the mattress below him, not caring that he might look like an inexperienced teenager. He knows he’s got the mouth of a sex god when you moan for him. He feels the vibrations in your pussy and it only urges him to continue his ministrations. Jay’s fingertips grip your meaty flesh and he pushes his hips down below him, not caring that he’s probably making the bed move.
Your own hips chase after his mouth erratically like you’re thrashing around. You have to pull the candy out of your mouth to prevent yourself from choking as the bottom half of your body moves until you’re arching off of the bed. The added pressure of his tongue reaching the deepest points inside of you pushes you over the edge and you swear you’ve never come so hard in your life.
Jay moans right into you as soon as he tastes your release. He humps the bed harder and pushes his rock hard cock against the fabric of his boxers until he’s spilling into it, the sticky, wet mess turning him on even more than he already is.
He feels his cum spurt out in thick ropes as you come down from your high and soothes your pussy over with a gentle motion of his tongue as he finishes his own orgasm. Jay’s eyes lift to your face and sees your euphoric expression between the valley of your breasts and pushes his cock against the mattress one final time before pulling himself away from your body.
When you feel him move off or the bed, you put the lollipop back in your mouth and suck on the candy. You watch as Jay kneels beside you on his knees, pushing down his boxers to pull out his still-hardened cock with his cum around it.
Eagerly, you discard of the candy by handing it to him and wrapping your lips around his dick, putting the enlarged head between your lips as your tongue runs over his slit to catch the last bit of cum. Jay watches from above and finishes the rest of the lollipop while you push your head further onto his cock to clean him up, humming at the salty taste of his orgasm.
Your tongue runs underneath his dick and he twitches inside of you. With the way you keep pulling him into your warm, wet mouth and how your cheeks are hollowed to created a makeshift vacuum, it’s no surprise that Jay cums again.
Jay throws his head back and lets out a long, deep moan. He discards of the white stick on his night table and pushes his cock into you until the tip hits the back of your throat. You keep your head there, hand coming up to massage his balls as you milk every last drop out of him. He pulls back when he finishes cumming and drags his cock against your tongue until he slips out of you. Still half-hard, Jay pulls your body to the edge of the bed as you yelp.
“Such a good mouth, making me finish like that. Wanna cum for a second time?”
Jay doesn’t wait for you to nod and pushes himself inside, forcing his semi-hard dick into your hole and groans at the pain and overstimulation. You moan and claw at his abdomen at the delightful intrusion. It feels too good for the both of you to quit right now. He doesn’t want to stop the sex marathon he’s started with you.
And he doesn’t. Neither of you know how many orgasms are shared collectively between you two by the time you’re too spent to continue fucking m. All you know is that the room smells like candy and sex.
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
got diagnosed with heart too big and kind
https://x.com/lefilmara/status/1833362467960828315?s=46&t=ITpvF0sPdevZP-Sbsa-eKg
this but with jakehoon *chefs kiss*
i need to be sandwiched in the middle
allergies are kicking my ass like a bitch!!!!!!
thank you soooo much and this made me laugh 🤩
hello omg i love love LOVE deep honey, which is rare cus i usually do not touch fluff at all but smth abt the way u wrote got to me. i was wondering that in case u wanted an idea, u could write abt sunghoon rushing over to take care of his sick girlfriend? :3 just a thought or any headcannons u have on that would do fine but if u wanna turn it into a drabble or fic that's good too, especially if it's a continuation of deep honey
anyways, that is all from me, have a good day!!!
thank you so much :’) for all of my nsfw drabbles and content, I really enjoy writing the softer kind of stories. switched up the request just a little. consider this a token of my appreciation for your kindness. xx
ps this is what I’m imaging him wearing
***
If there’s one thing you know, it’s that nothing good could ever happen when you text someone past 2AM.
Both existential and physical dread consume you the second you open your texts and see a plethora of unread messages due to your current state of being. You’ve been bedridden for what feels like years but it’s only been a few of days. It’s technically Sunday morning and technically you should be fast asleep, especially since you’d taken medication to help you rest throughout the night. But seems like your body has other plans for you.
Tossing and turning won’t do either. Your head feels much better than it has for the past two days. You’d taken two days off or classes because of intense migraines paired with what seems like onset sickness due to it being flue season. Guilt over missing classes and groveling to your professors (even if they extended grace and told you to rest up) ate you alive, only ebbing away when you closed your eyes and slept.
Your roommate has been away because of a family event and what was once a promising weekend full of relaxation and the apartment to yourself is now a time for you to wallow in your misery. You’ve gone through countless tissues and have slept more in the past few days than in your entire life. It feels like your head might as well be cut off with how many problems your eyes, nose, and throat are giving you.
To pass the time, social media distracts you for a few minutes and you catch glimpses of what your friends have been up to. Partying. Studying. Eating at the cafeteria. All of these are mundane events you took for granted because you’d love to be anywhere but rotting away in your apartment. You’d rather studying for a midterm over feeling like you can’t move without losing your breath.
You take this time to catch up on texts as well. There are so many what remain unread by you and guilt crawls up your spine as you begin to reply to everything.
hi riki!! sorry I haven’t replied yet. I’ve been sick all weekend :/ I wish I could’ve gone to jake’s game with u bc it looked so fun ☹️
jungwon ur your cat is so cute omg…please send more vids. also sorry for replying late im sick lol
sunoo I swear to god if you watch another episode without me, I’m gonna beat your ass whenever I recover
yes, mom. I’m resting as much as I can! sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I still feel sick
heeseung do u think sunghoon would be weirded out if i text him right now. pls advise 😁
Heeseung immediately reads the message and the text bubble appears straight away. He’s one of your closest friends in university who always happens to be friends with Park Sunghoon, the guy you’ve been talking to for the past month and a half.
heeseung: Nah not weird. He’d probably like hearing from you
heeseung: He was asking about you earlier today and said you haven’t been talking to him as much
you: looking at my phone made me nauseous :/
heeseung: You should probably tell him that bc he’s been staring at his phone all day
you: soooo it wouldn’t be weird if I texted him out of the blue rn?? usually we don’t like…start conversations so late
heeseung: You’re overthinking. Just text him and if he doesn’t reply then he’s asleep and will text you in the morning
you: I’m scared of fucking it up
heeseung: There’s nothing to fuck up. If he gets mad that you took care of yourself (he won’t be) then he’s the one who fucked up
you: ugh when did u become the voice of reason
heeseung: :)
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard after you’ve opened Sunghoon’s text. You can imagine his slight pout when you think about how he’d react when he realizes you haven’t texted him back, which makes you feel even more guilty than you already are.
You’re not really sure how you started talking to him, let alone befriended Heeseung to the point where he started inviting you to hang out with him and his group of friends. Heeseung had originally been a study partner for a shared class back when the two of you were sophomores. It’s been a couple of years since then and now most of your conversations consist of TikTok jokes and Heeseung having to deal with you pining over one of his friends.
Sunghoon is every bit of cool you can imagine. He was so quiet when you first met him, residing in his oversized sweater since it was approaching the beginning of autumn. Heeseung invited you to a local bar on a Friday night after midterms and said your first drink would be on him if you made it before last call, knowing very well you were likely getting ready to slip underneath your blankets and call it a night.
He was right as always. You showed up wearing jeans and an old shirt with a jacket that was too big for your body. You’d made somewhat of an effort to look presentable since you’d be hanging out with his friends near campus and would rather not look like you’d gotten rolled over by a locomotive. It was there you met Sunghoon for the first time. He was so quiet that you barely heard him talk until an hour into hanging out with him, but that’s when you learned that he was someone you needed to get to know before he’d show you his loud, boisterous personality.
The more you hung out with him, the more you started to picture yourself with Sunghoon, away from the group you started to call your friends too. You’d only see him when Heeseung invited you out or if you bumped into someone else while Sunghoon was in tow with them. Neither of you seemed to cross paths otherwise and even then, Sunghoon was a bit too timid to approach you first and start a conversation.
Part of you wondered if you were ever too bold when you’d get drunk with him and your friends. You were loud, full of laughter and affection that none of your friends were surprised every time you shouted compliments across the tables and declared your love for the little group you considered to be your family away from home. Heeseung had gotten used to it pretty quickly and so did the others, albeit it took a while for their ears to stop glowing red every time you’d pull them into a drunken hug.
Maybe you sent a little too far with Sunghoon, who immediately tensed when your arms wrapped around his shoulders the first time you let your inhibitions down fully. A few beers and shots in, and Heeseung was anticipating your drunken rant about how much you love the little life the five of you had created and hoped that it would continue even after you all graduate.
Sunghoon always looked a bit intimidating with his dark, thick eyebrows and shielded his wandering eyes. He always looked like he knew what he wanted and his grace always made you think twice about what you’d say to him. Although, you knew this was the beginning of an onset crush that wouldn’t remain hidden for long, let alone when you weren’t sober.
So you’d thrown your arms around Sunghoon’s shoulder and told him how happy you were that Heeseung introduced the two of you. While you try not to think about that moment too much, you recall telling Sunghoon that he was slowly starting to become one of your favorite people because of how funny he is when people least expect it. You liked that he was so kind to his friends and that he was so confident in himself, and that you wished you could be a little more like him.
You also said he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. It was a sobering moment because he looked at you like you’d grown two heads and his shoulders felt like they might’ve been pushing you off of his body.
Stumbling with consistent apologies, none of your mutual friends seemed to notice what was happening behind them. You can picture the look on his face when your mind crosses to this moment, how he’d looked at you with bewilderment with his mouth ajar. Sunghoon didn’t say anything and you took that cue to leave him alone and head to the bar, where you hoped distance would make this night seem less tragic than it was.
When morning came around, you were the only person in your shared group chat who declined getting a late morning breakfast due to your embarrassment. Even during the next weekend, when Jake opened up his apartment for a casual hang out, you were the only person who didn’t show up, citing work and study stresses keeping you away from your friends.
Heeseung knew those were merely excuses.
“Cut the shit, Y/N. Are you okay? Did one of the guys do anything to make you uncomfortable?” The worst laced in his tone made you feel guilty for having him think the worse of people he knew before he met you.
“No, nothing like that. I think I’m the one who fucked up and made them uncomfortable.”
“Well clearly not since Jake invited you to his place. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?”
The last thing you expected from Heeseung was to see him double over in laugher when you explained your predicament, clutching onto your bed like he’d fall to the ground if he didn’t. You’re sure that fit of laugher gave him a new set of abs.
“Sunghoon wasn’t weirded out. He texted me and asked if you were okay.” Heeseung pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you, leaving you in a cloud of confusion. “He probably likes you. Sunghoon’s a natural with girls even if he doesn’t realize they’re flirting with him. I think he likes you too because he’s acting really awkward because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
That night left you with more question than answers. You considered texting Sunghoon and asking if the two of you could talk, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable and tell him what Heeseung told you in fear of putting your friend in an awkward position. So you let the discomfort settle and braved seeing him the next time one of your friends invited you out.
Which, to no one’s surprise, was the weekend after Jake’s get together. Seoul’s autumn carnival was in its third weekend by the time the five of you were able to find adequate time to ride every rollercoaster and eat until your stomachs caved in. You loved the fair and were the first person to buy an admission ticket. Poor Jay, who wasn’t the biggest fan of big rides in the first place, tagged along with Jake every time he insisted on it. You tried your best to keep some distance between yourself and Sunghoon, even if Heeseung said you were being ridiculous. You’d chosen to stick by him until Sunghoon volunteered to help you pick up the food trays when you lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.
“I’m sorry that I acted weird that night,” he said, cutting the silence as the two of you waited for your order. He didn’t have to explain. You knew what he was talking about. “Heeseung said you felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable but I need you to know you didn’t make me feel that way.”
That was the longest sentence he’d ever said to you, let alone it being the first time he initiated a conversation with you. He watched as you stood with your eyes wide and mouth parted like you wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.
“I think you just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting you to say nice things about me. I didn’t realize we were that close because you’d been affectionate with everyone but me up until that night.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I was, uh, flustered.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He averted your gaze and looked at his shoes momentarily before he looked back at you. “I liked what you said. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
You laughed at the awkwardness dissipating. “I thought I crossed a line, or something. You just sat there and I thought I fucked up by touching you.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t. I…I liked it a lot.” You tried to hide a grin by keeping your bubbling excitement under wraps failed miserably. Sunghoon smiled too, offering to carry most of the trays back to the table where your friends were too hungry to talk for the next ten minutes.
The memory brings you back to the present where your thumbs hover the keyboard. You start to read back the conversation between the two of you and feel those butterflies erupt in your stomach for the umpteenth time. The two of you have talked about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. So why is texting him to let him know you’ve been sick for the past few days so difficult for you?
you: hi
you: sorry I haven’t texted a lot in the past few days. I’ve been having migraines and now I’ve caught a cold ):
you: im sorry for texting so late too
He texts immediately.
sunghoon: You don’t have to be sorry. Are you feeling better now?
sunghoon: Actually don’t answer that
Your phone rings.
“Hey,” you say with your phone propped against your ear. “Sorry for bothering you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I’m the only who’s calling you when you’re sick, so I’m technically the one bothering you.” His laugh on the other line makes you smile a little too hard. “I was really worried. None of the guys heard from you so I figured you needed some space.”
“Unfortunately. I had to skip a few classes because it hurt to stand up. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept more this past week than I have in the last month.”
“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”
“I feel bad that I haven’t been able to talk to you.”
As if Sunghoon could sense you pouting, he clicks his tongue and reassures you. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t imagine how much pain you’ve been in.”
“I would honestly rather study and take a million midterms than go through this again. I feel like someone just took their shoe off of my head.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. Can I bring you anything? Medicine, maybe?”
You cough a little. “No, but thank you. My friend dropped off a lot of NyQuil and other stuff to help me. It’s working…kind of. Still feel like shit, though.”
“…Can I come over? To help you with your sickness, of course. I can bring you soup.”
“You don’t have to do that.” You frantically rise from your bed amidst his words and realize there are tissues on the ground and dirty clothes strewn everywhere because of your lack of energy. Your living room must be a mess, too, and this would also be the first time Sunghoon would see you without any makeup on.
“I want to. But I mean, only if you’re up for it. I don’t want to stress you out since you’re sick. I just want to help make you feel better. That…and I miss you.”
Sunghoon’s never been so direct before. Even though the two of you have been talking for a while, neither of you have been so forward about it. Conversations are always subtly flirty to the point where the effervescent feeling simmers just underneath the surface. The two of you have hung out without the rest of your friends and have been alone before, but neither one of you has gone so far as you be so bold about the other.
“I miss you too,” you whisper into the phone.
“Give me thirty minutes. I’ll come with soup.”
He hangs up and with a newfound sense of urgency, you make your bed and throw away any stray trash. You put your dirty laundry in the hamper, which is piled high and untouched. It’ll be a problem for when you’re not sick.
The living room isn’t too bad. You straighten furniture and throw away empty takeout containers and wash a few utensils. The tasks don’t feel as draining as they did a few days ago and you’re starting to regain a little bit of your breath.
True to his word, Sunghoon arrives thirty minutes after he said he would. You open the door and look at him. He’s wearing blue hoodie and sweatpants with specs that make him look significantly more attractive than you’re used to.
“Hi,” Sunghoon says with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”
You bite your lip and blurt out your first thought. “You look really good in those glasses.”
Sunghoon chuckles. “Thank you. Can I come in?”
“Right, right.” You step aside and he follows you into your apartment. He takes his shoes off and places them neatly by the shoe rack.
“I might need to reheat this. I got it from that place near my apartment. You know, the one with the yellow banner?”
“I love that place.”
He smiles at you. “I know. Can I heat up some soup for you?”
When you nod, Sunghoon moves to the correct cabinet and pulls out everything he needs. It astounds you because he’s only ever been to your apartment twice before, both times with your other friends in tow. It dawns on you that it’s the first time the two of you are alone in your space. You’re touched that he remembers where your things are.
He beckons you to sit on the counter in front of the steaming bowl and the aroma of spices makes your mouth water. You haven’t been able to eat consistently in the past few days, surviving on bland foods like bread and crackers to sustain your health because anything else made you feel sicker than you were. The steam feels good against your skin and you dig in right away.
Sunghoon pulls your hair back when it gets close to the rim and holds it for you while you lap up the soup. It seems as though you’re hungrier than you thought because you sit there wordlessly, shoveling liquid into your mouth while Sunghoon watches.
“Sorry,” you apologize. “I must look like a zoo animal.”
“You’re sick, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for. The first meal you can stomach is the best one.” It’s like he gets you. Sunghoon continues to hold your hair back until you’re finished. He washes the bowl and spoon, and puts it back where they belong.
Sunghoon turns around and looks at you under the ambient lighting you and your roommate put up in lieu of the overhead lights. It feels like he’s inspecting you and you try really hard not to think about the fact that you don’t feel presentable in this moment.
“Your apartment feels very you,” Sunghoon says. “I like all of the green furniture and the art on the wall.”
“My roommate picked the decor out but I’m starting to understand why she loves art so much.”
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at you. “Would you want to go to an art museum with me?”
“I’d really like that.”
Sunghoon pulls you by the hand to your couch and you try your best not to feel flustered with his touch. He sits you down on the cushion and immediately you feel like you need to be hyper vigilant because he’s looking around the apartment and you’re wondering if he can see the messes you see.
“Do you have a blanket? We could watch some TV. Or I could go. I don’t know.”
“Don’t go.” You say it too quickly but Sunghoon’s shoulders relax. “The blankets are beside the couch.”
He drapes it over you, leaving himself to fend for the cold. Although you’re sure he’s pretty warm, you open up the blanket and invite him to share it with you.
This is new territory. You two have just been talking. But Sunghoon isn’t deterred. He slots himself next to you and doesn’t shy away when he feels your arm pressed against him.
“Sorry for the mess. And for, well…” He watches you gesture to your face, which is undoubtedly red with dark circles underneath your eyes.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. I still like you.”
You aren’t used to him being so upfront like this. He watches you with easy eyes, the kind of feeling that makes you believe what he says. Sunghoon is pretty reserved when it comes to these types of things and you often find yourself being the one to push him towards his bolder side. But even though you feel flustered by his words and underneath his stare, you like this newer side of him.
“I’m such a mess.”
Sunghoon watches you push your forehead into his shoulder in an attempt to hide yourself from him. He smiles at your antics and loves the feeling of your body on his. He’s been hesitant to do things like hold your hand or kiss your cheek in fear or overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t know what came over him when he held your hair back from falling into the hot soup. He knows very well that he could’ve asked where you kept your hair ties, but helping you when he knows you need it felt like the right thing to do.
Now, he wonders if you’re growing bolder with him too. You let your forehead rest against his hoodie as you take deep breaths. He hears you sniffle a few times and nearly coos at the mere thought of you suffering from your sickness. When you pull yourself away from him, the tip of your nose is slightly runny and your eyes look a bit more red than usual.
“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
He bites his lip. “You could look worse.” You try not to let your cheeks rise in heat.
“You’re just being nice.”
Sunghoon laughs and shakes his head. He could never lie about how he feels towards you. “Nope. You still look really cute.” He watches the gears work inside your head and locates the TV remote when you don’t say anything. “What do you want to watch?”
“I dunno.”
“C’mon, you must’ve been watching TV while you were cooped up here.”
You shake your head. “Migraine, remember? Felt like my eyes were gonna burst.”
This time, he coos out loud. Sunghoon puts on a show you’ve mentioned enjoying in the past and hopes he chose correctly. You seem to be mellowing out and paying attention to the screen in front of you until you start breathing heavily. It’s not until he hears you try to silence a small coughing fit that he shoots up from his seat and pours you a glass of water.
“Here.” Sunghoon doesn’t let you hold the glass. Instead, he beckons your mouth open by placing the rim between your lips and lets you swallow the water, tilting it up until you’ve consumed all of it. He wipes the excess water from the corners of your mouth with his thumb and looks down at you with concern. “Do you have any tea? I can make you some. Hopefully that’ll soothe your throat.”
“Stupid medicine isn’t working,” you grumble. “I might as well perish.”
“Tea, baby,” Sunghoon says, the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. You almost don’t notice it. “Where do you keep your tea and honey?”
“Cabinet beside the fridge.”
Sunghoon comes back a few minutes later with piping hot chamomile tea with honey. You don’t know how he does it, anticipating your every need and putting just enough honey where it doesn’t feel like you’re stuffing your throat with the sweet nectar. You sip on it slowly as he situates himself back underneath the blanket and keeps his eyes on the television while you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.
Eventually, the episode finished and it’s almost four in the morning when you start to get sleepy. Sunghoon hears you yawning beside him and does his best not to grin like a lovesick idiot when you push your body against his in an attempt to get comfortable. You’re holding the empty cup loosely in your hands when your eyes start to droop and as much as Sunghoon would love to stay like this, he knows it’ll be better for you to sleep in your own bed with your back against the mattress.
“Baby,” Sunghoon whispers. He grabs the mug from your hands and sets it on the coffee table. “I think you should sleep in your bed. You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”
“But you’re so warm.”
He bites back a smile. “Thank you, but you’re gonna wake up with back pain and I know you’ll be mad that you didn’t sleep with pillows.”
He’s right and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from letting a whine slip past. Sunghoon doesn’t complain when you lean on him for support (or rather, you push your full weight onto him because you cannot be bothered with physical tasks at this late hour). Instead, he holds your waist with his arm and guides you into your bedroom from his memory of coming here a couple times before now.
Despite this, he’s never been inside your room. You’ve always kept the door closed but as he opens it, Sunghoon completely melts at how your bedroom is so utterly you. The dark green comforter hugs your queen-sized bed and a mountain of pillows cover the top near the bed frame. Your desk is an organized mess of notebooks, pens, and highlighters you carry with you during study sessions. Photographs in pretty frames decorate your walls along with posters of your favorite music and films.
He spots a picture of the two of you from that day at the amusement park when Heeseung insisted on taking a photo since the lighting was “perfect.” Sunghoon suspected that wasn’t the case but let him take it anyhow. He always considered that to be his first official memory with you. Knowing you might feel the same makes Sunghoon’s heart flutter.
“Let’s get you into bed, yeah?”
His soft touches make you fall much deeper into your tiredness. The mattress below you feels too good to be true as Sunghoon opens the blankets for you to crawl underneath. He watches you carefully as you scoot to one side and make yourself comfortable, wondering if you’re enjoying the side of him that wants to pamper you.
When you’re all tucked in with the blankets underneath your chin, Sunghoon can’t help but lean down and brush a few stray hair strands from your face. He caresses your cheek and holds himself back despite your lips being right in front of him. Instead, he settles for rubbing your soft cheek with his thumb before leaving.
Except, you reach out and grab onto his wrist. “Where are you going?”
His looks back at you in the dim light. “Home, baby. I’ll let you sleep.”
The pout you’re wearing is tearing him limb from limb. “I don’t want you to go home.”
“No?”
You shake your head. “Please…I haven’t seen you at all this week.” Sunghoon hears the strain in your voice and he isn’t sure if you’re awake enough to know what you’re saying. “I-I just want you here with me.”
How could he say no to that?
Sunghoon sits on the empty side of the bed and lets you guide your hand in his bigger one. He watches as you shake your head and he’s about to ask what you mean when you open the blanket.
He feels momentarily guilty when he pulls his hand away from you because he hears you whine again, but he slips off his hoodie to avoid overheating. He’s left in his sweatpants and a loose shirt when sliding into your bed right next to you.
You waste no time and attach yourself to Sunghoon, pushing your body until you’re resting on his chest. He does his best not to let his heartbeat give him away. This is the most he’s ever touched you. At best, he’d brush his hand against yours and waited for the right time to hold it. Today feels like he’s thrown caution into the wind.
Sunghoon puts his glasses on your night table and pulls you close to him, encircling his arms until he finds a comfortable position. Your warm breaths litter his skin and he feels like he could run laps with how happy he is in this moment. You look so cute with your body limp against his. He loves that you’re not hesitant around him anymore and hopes you know just how much he wants you close to him.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Sunghoon says in the dark, unsure if you’re still awake or not.
“What’s your secret?”
Your eyes remain closed, eyelashes covering your beautiful eyes and your cheeks are squished into a pout against his chest. He looks down at you like you’re precious cargo and a rare gem he never wants to let go of.
“I really want to kiss you.”
You don’t say anything. Instead, Sunghoon feels you move your head until you press a kiss against his chest, allowing your lips to linger for a few seconds before reverting back to your original position.
“Kiss me tomorrow.”
Sunghoon hears you snoring soon after.
“Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “I can do that.”
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
I saw the url en-tangerine in my notifs and I need whoever that person is to know I am obsessed with both enhypen and tangerines, and that I love them
hello omg i love love LOVE deep honey, which is rare cus i usually do not touch fluff at all but smth abt the way u wrote got to me. i was wondering that in case u wanted an idea, u could write abt sunghoon rushing over to take care of his sick girlfriend? :3 just a thought or any headcannons u have on that would do fine but if u wanna turn it into a drabble or fic that's good too, especially if it's a continuation of deep honey
anyways, that is all from me, have a good day!!!
thank you so much :’) for all of my nsfw drabbles and content, I really enjoy writing the softer kind of stories. switched up the request just a little. consider this a token of my appreciation for your kindness. xx
ps this is what I’m imaging him wearing
***
If there’s one thing you know, it’s that nothing good could ever happen when you text someone past 2AM.
Both existential and physical dread consume you the second you open your texts and see a plethora of unread messages due to your current state of being. You’ve been bedridden for what feels like years but it’s only been a few of days. It’s technically Sunday morning and technically you should be fast asleep, especially since you’d taken medication to help you rest throughout the night. But seems like your body has other plans for you.
Tossing and turning won’t do either. Your head feels much better than it has for the past two days. You’d taken two days off or classes because of intense migraines paired with what seems like onset sickness due to it being flue season. Guilt over missing classes and groveling to your professors (even if they extended grace and told you to rest up) ate you alive, only ebbing away when you closed your eyes and slept.
Your roommate has been away because of a family event and what was once a promising weekend full of relaxation and the apartment to yourself is now a time for you to wallow in your misery. You’ve gone through countless tissues and have slept more in the past few days than in your entire life. It feels like your head might as well be cut off with how many problems your eyes, nose, and throat are giving you.
To pass the time, social media distracts you for a few minutes and you catch glimpses of what your friends have been up to. Partying. Studying. Eating at the cafeteria. All of these are mundane events you took for granted because you’d love to be anywhere but rotting away in your apartment. You’d rather studying for a midterm over feeling like you can’t move without losing your breath.
You take this time to catch up on texts as well. There are so many what remain unread by you and guilt crawls up your spine as you begin to reply to everything.
hi riki!! sorry I haven’t replied yet. I’ve been sick all weekend :/ I wish I could’ve gone to jake’s game with u bc it looked so fun ☹️
jungwon ur your cat is so cute omg…please send more vids. also sorry for replying late im sick lol
sunoo I swear to god if you watch another episode without me, I’m gonna beat your ass whenever I recover
yes, mom. I’m resting as much as I can! sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I still feel sick
heeseung do u think sunghoon would be weirded out if i text him right now. pls advise 😁
Heeseung immediately reads the message and the text bubble appears straight away. He’s one of your closest friends in university who always happens to be friends with Park Sunghoon, the guy you’ve been talking to for the past month and a half.
heeseung: Nah not weird. He’d probably like hearing from you
heeseung: He was asking about you earlier today and said you haven’t been talking to him as much
you: looking at my phone made me nauseous :/
heeseung: You should probably tell him that bc he’s been staring at his phone all day
you: soooo it wouldn’t be weird if I texted him out of the blue rn?? usually we don’t like…start conversations so late
heeseung: You’re overthinking. Just text him and if he doesn’t reply then he’s asleep and will text you in the morning
you: I’m scared of fucking it up
heeseung: There’s nothing to fuck up. If he gets mad that you took care of yourself (he won’t be) then he’s the one who fucked up
you: ugh when did u become the voice of reason
heeseung: :)
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard after you’ve opened Sunghoon’s text. You can imagine his slight pout when you think about how he’d react when he realizes you haven’t texted him back, which makes you feel even more guilty than you already are.
You’re not really sure how you started talking to him, let alone befriended Heeseung to the point where he started inviting you to hang out with him and his group of friends. Heeseung had originally been a study partner for a shared class back when the two of you were sophomores. It’s been a couple of years since then and now most of your conversations consist of TikTok jokes and Heeseung having to deal with you pining over one of his friends.
Sunghoon is every bit of cool you can imagine. He was so quiet when you first met him, residing in his oversized sweater since it was approaching the beginning of autumn. Heeseung invited you to a local bar on a Friday night after midterms and said your first drink would be on him if you made it before last call, knowing very well you were likely getting ready to slip underneath your blankets and call it a night.
He was right as always. You showed up wearing jeans and an old shirt with a jacket that was too big for your body. You’d made somewhat of an effort to look presentable since you’d be hanging out with his friends near campus and would rather not look like you’d gotten rolled over by a locomotive. It was there you met Sunghoon for the first time. He was so quiet that you barely heard him talk until an hour into hanging out with him, but that’s when you learned that he was someone you needed to get to know before he’d show you his loud, boisterous personality.
The more you hung out with him, the more you started to picture yourself with Sunghoon, away from the group you started to call your friends too. You’d only see him when Heeseung invited you out or if you bumped into someone else while Sunghoon was in tow with them. Neither of you seemed to cross paths otherwise and even then, Sunghoon was a bit too timid to approach you first and start a conversation.
Part of you wondered if you were ever too bold when you’d get drunk with him and your friends. You were loud, full of laughter and affection that none of your friends were surprised every time you shouted compliments across the tables and declared your love for the little group you considered to be your family away from home. Heeseung had gotten used to it pretty quickly and so did the others, albeit it took a while for their ears to stop glowing red every time you’d pull them into a drunken hug.
Maybe you sent a little too far with Sunghoon, who immediately tensed when your arms wrapped around his shoulders the first time you let your inhibitions down fully. A few beers and shots in, and Heeseung was anticipating your drunken rant about how much you love the little life the five of you had created and hoped that it would continue even after you all graduate.
Sunghoon always looked a bit intimidating with his dark, thick eyebrows and shielded his wandering eyes. He always looked like he knew what he wanted and his grace always made you think twice about what you’d say to him. Although, you knew this was the beginning of an onset crush that wouldn’t remain hidden for long, let alone when you weren’t sober.
So you’d thrown your arms around Sunghoon’s shoulder and told him how happy you were that Heeseung introduced the two of you. While you try not to think about that moment too much, you recall telling Sunghoon that he was slowly starting to become one of your favorite people because of how funny he is when people least expect it. You liked that he was so kind to his friends and that he was so confident in himself, and that you wished you could be a little more like him.
You also said he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. It was a sobering moment because he looked at you like you’d grown two heads and his shoulders felt like they might’ve been pushing you off of his body.
Stumbling with consistent apologies, none of your mutual friends seemed to notice what was happening behind them. You can picture the look on his face when your mind crosses to this moment, how he’d looked at you with bewilderment with his mouth ajar. Sunghoon didn’t say anything and you took that cue to leave him alone and head to the bar, where you hoped distance would make this night seem less tragic than it was.
When morning came around, you were the only person in your shared group chat who declined getting a late morning breakfast due to your embarrassment. Even during the next weekend, when Jake opened up his apartment for a casual hang out, you were the only person who didn’t show up, citing work and study stresses keeping you away from your friends.
Heeseung knew those were merely excuses.
“Cut the shit, Y/N. Are you okay? Did one of the guys do anything to make you uncomfortable?” The worst laced in his tone made you feel guilty for having him think the worse of people he knew before he met you.
“No, nothing like that. I think I’m the one who fucked up and made them uncomfortable.”
“Well clearly not since Jake invited you to his place. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?”
The last thing you expected from Heeseung was to see him double over in laugher when you explained your predicament, clutching onto your bed like he’d fall to the ground if he didn’t. You’re sure that fit of laugher gave him a new set of abs.
“Sunghoon wasn’t weirded out. He texted me and asked if you were okay.” Heeseung pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you, leaving you in a cloud of confusion. “He probably likes you. Sunghoon’s a natural with girls even if he doesn’t realize they’re flirting with him. I think he likes you too because he’s acting really awkward because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
That night left you with more question than answers. You considered texting Sunghoon and asking if the two of you could talk, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable and tell him what Heeseung told you in fear of putting your friend in an awkward position. So you let the discomfort settle and braved seeing him the next time one of your friends invited you out.
Which, to no one’s surprise, was the weekend after Jake’s get together. Seoul’s autumn carnival was in its third weekend by the time the five of you were able to find adequate time to ride every rollercoaster and eat until your stomachs caved in. You loved the fair and were the first person to buy an admission ticket. Poor Jay, who wasn’t the biggest fan of big rides in the first place, tagged along with Jake every time he insisted on it. You tried your best to keep some distance between yourself and Sunghoon, even if Heeseung said you were being ridiculous. You’d chosen to stick by him until Sunghoon volunteered to help you pick up the food trays when you lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.
“I’m sorry that I acted weird that night,” he said, cutting the silence as the two of you waited for your order. He didn’t have to explain. You knew what he was talking about. “Heeseung said you felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable but I need you to know you didn’t make me feel that way.”
That was the longest sentence he’d ever said to you, let alone it being the first time he initiated a conversation with you. He watched as you stood with your eyes wide and mouth parted like you wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.
“I think you just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting you to say nice things about me. I didn’t realize we were that close because you’d been affectionate with everyone but me up until that night.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I was, uh, flustered.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He averted your gaze and looked at his shoes momentarily before he looked back at you. “I liked what you said. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
You laughed at the awkwardness dissipating. “I thought I crossed a line, or something. You just sat there and I thought I fucked up by touching you.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t. I…I liked it a lot.” You tried to hide a grin by keeping your bubbling excitement under wraps failed miserably. Sunghoon smiled too, offering to carry most of the trays back to the table where your friends were too hungry to talk for the next ten minutes.
The memory brings you back to the present where your thumbs hover the keyboard. You start to read back the conversation between the two of you and feel those butterflies erupt in your stomach for the umpteenth time. The two of you have talked about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. So why is texting him to let him know you’ve been sick for the past few days so difficult for you?
you: hi
you: sorry I haven’t texted a lot in the past few days. I’ve been having migraines and now I’ve caught a cold ):
you: im sorry for texting so late too
He texts immediately.
sunghoon: You don’t have to be sorry. Are you feeling better now?
sunghoon: Actually don’t answer that
Your phone rings.
“Hey,” you say with your phone propped against your ear. “Sorry for bothering you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I’m the only who’s calling you when you’re sick, so I’m technically the one bothering you.” His laugh on the other line makes you smile a little too hard. “I was really worried. None of the guys heard from you so I figured you needed some space.”
“Unfortunately. I had to skip a few classes because it hurt to stand up. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept more this past week than I have in the last month.”
“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”
“I feel bad that I haven’t been able to talk to you.”
As if Sunghoon could sense you pouting, he clicks his tongue and reassures you. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t imagine how much pain you’ve been in.”
“I would honestly rather study and take a million midterms than go through this again. I feel like someone just took their shoe off of my head.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. Can I bring you anything? Medicine, maybe?”
You cough a little. “No, but thank you. My friend dropped off a lot of NyQuil and other stuff to help me. It’s working…kind of. Still feel like shit, though.”
“…Can I come over? To help you with your sickness, of course. I can bring you soup.”
“You don’t have to do that.” You frantically rise from your bed amidst his words and realize there are tissues on the ground and dirty clothes strewn everywhere because of your lack of energy. Your living room must be a mess, too, and this would also be the first time Sunghoon would see you without any makeup on.
“I want to. But I mean, only if you’re up for it. I don’t want to stress you out since you’re sick. I just want to help make you feel better. That…and I miss you.”
Sunghoon’s never been so direct before. Even though the two of you have been talking for a while, neither of you have been so forward about it. Conversations are always subtly flirty to the point where the effervescent feeling simmers just underneath the surface. The two of you have hung out without the rest of your friends and have been alone before, but neither one of you has gone so far as you be so bold about the other.
“I miss you too,” you whisper into the phone.
“Give me thirty minutes. I’ll come with soup.”
He hangs up and with a newfound sense of urgency, you make your bed and throw away any stray trash. You put your dirty laundry in the hamper, which is piled high and untouched. It’ll be a problem for when you’re not sick.
The living room isn’t too bad. You straighten furniture and throw away empty takeout containers and wash a few utensils. The tasks don’t feel as draining as they did a few days ago and you’re starting to regain a little bit of your breath.
True to his word, Sunghoon arrives thirty minutes after he said he would. You open the door and look at him. He’s wearing blue hoodie and sweatpants with specs that make him look significantly more attractive than you’re used to.
“Hi,” Sunghoon says with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”
You bite your lip and blurt out your first thought. “You look really good in those glasses.”
Sunghoon chuckles. “Thank you. Can I come in?”
“Right, right.” You step aside and he follows you into your apartment. He takes his shoes off and places them neatly by the shoe rack.
“I might need to reheat this. I got it from that place near my apartment. You know, the one with the yellow banner?”
“I love that place.”
He smiles at you. “I know. Can I heat up some soup for you?”
When you nod, Sunghoon moves to the correct cabinet and pulls out everything he needs. It astounds you because he’s only ever been to your apartment twice before, both times with your other friends in tow. It dawns on you that it’s the first time the two of you are alone in your space. You’re touched that he remembers where your things are.
He beckons you to sit on the counter in front of the steaming bowl and the aroma of spices makes your mouth water. You haven’t been able to eat consistently in the past few days, surviving on bland foods like bread and crackers to sustain your health because anything else made you feel sicker than you were. The steam feels good against your skin and you dig in right away.
Sunghoon pulls your hair back when it gets close to the rim and holds it for you while you lap up the soup. It seems as though you’re hungrier than you thought because you sit there wordlessly, shoveling liquid into your mouth while Sunghoon watches.
“Sorry,” you apologize. “I must look like a zoo animal.”
“You’re sick, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for. The first meal you can stomach is the best one.” It’s like he gets you. Sunghoon continues to hold your hair back until you’re finished. He washes the bowl and spoon, and puts it back where they belong.
Sunghoon turns around and looks at you under the ambient lighting you and your roommate put up in lieu of the overhead lights. It feels like he’s inspecting you and you try really hard not to think about the fact that you don’t feel presentable in this moment.
“Your apartment feels very you,” Sunghoon says. “I like all of the green furniture and the art on the wall.”
“My roommate picked the decor out but I’m starting to understand why she loves art so much.”
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at you. “Would you want to go to an art museum with me?”
“I’d really like that.”
Sunghoon pulls you by the hand to your couch and you try your best not to feel flustered with his touch. He sits you down on the cushion and immediately you feel like you need to be hyper vigilant because he’s looking around the apartment and you’re wondering if he can see the messes you see.
“Do you have a blanket? We could watch some TV. Or I could go. I don’t know.”
“Don’t go.” You say it too quickly but Sunghoon’s shoulders relax. “The blankets are beside the couch.”
He drapes it over you, leaving himself to fend for the cold. Although you’re sure he’s pretty warm, you open up the blanket and invite him to share it with you.
This is new territory. You two have just been talking. But Sunghoon isn’t deterred. He slots himself next to you and doesn’t shy away when he feels your arm pressed against him.
“Sorry for the mess. And for, well…” He watches you gesture to your face, which is undoubtedly red with dark circles underneath your eyes.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. I still like you.”
You aren’t used to him being so upfront like this. He watches you with easy eyes, the kind of feeling that makes you believe what he says. Sunghoon is pretty reserved when it comes to these types of things and you often find yourself being the one to push him towards his bolder side. But even though you feel flustered by his words and underneath his stare, you like this newer side of him.
“I’m such a mess.”
Sunghoon watches you push your forehead into his shoulder in an attempt to hide yourself from him. He smiles at your antics and loves the feeling of your body on his. He’s been hesitant to do things like hold your hand or kiss your cheek in fear or overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t know what came over him when he held your hair back from falling into the hot soup. He knows very well that he could’ve asked where you kept your hair ties, but helping you when he knows you need it felt like the right thing to do.
Now, he wonders if you’re growing bolder with him too. You let your forehead rest against his hoodie as you take deep breaths. He hears you sniffle a few times and nearly coos at the mere thought of you suffering from your sickness. When you pull yourself away from him, the tip of your nose is slightly runny and your eyes look a bit more red than usual.
“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
He bites his lip. “You could look worse.” You try not to let your cheeks rise in heat.
“You’re just being nice.”
Sunghoon laughs and shakes his head. He could never lie about how he feels towards you. “Nope. You still look really cute.” He watches the gears work inside your head and locates the TV remote when you don’t say anything. “What do you want to watch?”
“I dunno.”
“C’mon, you must’ve been watching TV while you were cooped up here.”
You shake your head. “Migraine, remember? Felt like my eyes were gonna burst.”
This time, he coos out loud. Sunghoon puts on a show you’ve mentioned enjoying in the past and hopes he chose correctly. You seem to be mellowing out and paying attention to the screen in front of you until you start breathing heavily. It’s not until he hears you try to silence a small coughing fit that he shoots up from his seat and pours you a glass of water.
“Here.” Sunghoon doesn’t let you hold the glass. Instead, he beckons your mouth open by placing the rim between your lips and lets you swallow the water, tilting it up until you’ve consumed all of it. He wipes the excess water from the corners of your mouth with his thumb and looks down at you with concern. “Do you have any tea? I can make you some. Hopefully that’ll soothe your throat.”
“Stupid medicine isn’t working,” you grumble. “I might as well perish.”
“Tea, baby,” Sunghoon says, the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. You almost don’t notice it. “Where do you keep your tea and honey?”
“Cabinet beside the fridge.”
Sunghoon comes back a few minutes later with piping hot chamomile tea with honey. You don’t know how he does it, anticipating your every need and putting just enough honey where it doesn’t feel like you’re stuffing your throat with the sweet nectar. You sip on it slowly as he situates himself back underneath the blanket and keeps his eyes on the television while you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.
Eventually, the episode finished and it’s almost four in the morning when you start to get sleepy. Sunghoon hears you yawning beside him and does his best not to grin like a lovesick idiot when you push your body against his in an attempt to get comfortable. You’re holding the empty cup loosely in your hands when your eyes start to droop and as much as Sunghoon would love to stay like this, he knows it’ll be better for you to sleep in your own bed with your back against the mattress.
“Baby,” Sunghoon whispers. He grabs the mug from your hands and sets it on the coffee table. “I think you should sleep in your bed. You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”
“But you’re so warm.”
He bites back a smile. “Thank you, but you’re gonna wake up with back pain and I know you’ll be mad that you didn’t sleep with pillows.”
He’s right and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from letting a whine slip past. Sunghoon doesn’t complain when you lean on him for support (or rather, you push your full weight onto him because you cannot be bothered with physical tasks at this late hour). Instead, he holds your waist with his arm and guides you into your bedroom from his memory of coming here a couple times before now.
Despite this, he’s never been inside your room. You’ve always kept the door closed but as he opens it, Sunghoon completely melts at how your bedroom is so utterly you. The dark green comforter hugs your queen-sized bed and a mountain of pillows cover the top near the bed frame. Your desk is an organized mess of notebooks, pens, and highlighters you carry with you during study sessions. Photographs in pretty frames decorate your walls along with posters of your favorite music and films.
He spots a picture of the two of you from that day at the amusement park when Heeseung insisted on taking a photo since the lighting was “perfect.” Sunghoon suspected that wasn’t the case but let him take it anyhow. He always considered that to be his first official memory with you. Knowing you might feel the same makes Sunghoon’s heart flutter.
“Let’s get you into bed, yeah?”
His soft touches make you fall much deeper into your tiredness. The mattress below you feels too good to be true as Sunghoon opens the blankets for you to crawl underneath. He watches you carefully as you scoot to one side and make yourself comfortable, wondering if you’re enjoying the side of him that wants to pamper you.
When you’re all tucked in with the blankets underneath your chin, Sunghoon can’t help but lean down and brush a few stray hair strands from your face. He caresses your cheek and holds himself back despite your lips being right in front of him. Instead, he settles for rubbing your soft cheek with his thumb before leaving.
Except, you reach out and grab onto his wrist. “Where are you going?”
His looks back at you in the dim light. “Home, baby. I’ll let you sleep.”
The pout you’re wearing is tearing him limb from limb. “I don’t want you to go home.”
“No?”
You shake your head. “Please…I haven’t seen you at all this week.” Sunghoon hears the strain in your voice and he isn’t sure if you’re awake enough to know what you’re saying. “I-I just want you here with me.”
How could he say no to that?
Sunghoon sits on the empty side of the bed and lets you guide your hand in his bigger one. He watches as you shake your head and he’s about to ask what you mean when you open the blanket.
He feels momentarily guilty when he pulls his hand away from you because he hears you whine again, but he slips off his hoodie to avoid overheating. He’s left in his sweatpants and a loose shirt when sliding into your bed right next to you.
You waste no time and attach yourself to Sunghoon, pushing your body until you’re resting on his chest. He does his best not to let his heartbeat give him away. This is the most he’s ever touched you. At best, he’d brush his hand against yours and waited for the right time to hold it. Today feels like he’s thrown caution into the wind.
Sunghoon puts his glasses on your night table and pulls you close to him, encircling his arms until he finds a comfortable position. Your warm breaths litter his skin and he feels like he could run laps with how happy he is in this moment. You look so cute with your body limp against his. He loves that you’re not hesitant around him anymore and hopes you know just how much he wants you close to him.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Sunghoon says in the dark, unsure if you’re still awake or not.
“What’s your secret?”
Your eyes remain closed, eyelashes covering your beautiful eyes and your cheeks are squished into a pout against his chest. He looks down at you like you’re precious cargo and a rare gem he never wants to let go of.
“I really want to kiss you.”
You don’t say anything. Instead, Sunghoon feels you move your head until you press a kiss against his chest, allowing your lips to linger for a few seconds before reverting back to your original position.
“Kiss me tomorrow.”
Sunghoon hears you snoring soon after.
“Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “I can do that.”
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
guidelines
don’t be weird!!!!! this blog will have nsfw themes so i ask that you be 18+ to follow and interact.
with that being said, i am not responsible for your consumption. i am not responsible for what you may read in my work or what i reblog, regardless of its maturity content. please be mindful of that when following and interacting with this blog.
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i write for enhypen’s hyung line only.
content (subject to change): long and short stories, smut, scenarios, hard thoughts, reqs if they intruige me enough.
ehhh probably not that important but I work full time and will likely be slow when answering reqs or writing full length fics 🥲
have fun. pls. we’re here to take a break from reality and indulge in fiction so i implore you to take things with an easy mind and enjoy what you read!! :D
hello omg i love love LOVE deep honey, which is rare cus i usually do not touch fluff at all but smth abt the way u wrote got to me. i was wondering that in case u wanted an idea, u could write abt sunghoon rushing over to take care of his sick girlfriend? :3 just a thought or any headcannons u have on that would do fine but if u wanna turn it into a drabble or fic that's good too, especially if it's a continuation of deep honey
anyways, that is all from me, have a good day!!!
thank you so much :’) for all of my nsfw drabbles and content, I really enjoy writing the softer kind of stories. switched up the request just a little. consider this a token of my appreciation for your kindness. xx
ps this is what I’m imaging him wearing
***
If there’s one thing you know, it’s that nothing good could ever happen when you text someone past 2AM.
Both existential and physical dread consume you the second you open your texts and see a plethora of unread messages due to your current state of being. You’ve been bedridden for what feels like years but it’s only been a few of days. It’s technically Sunday morning and technically you should be fast asleep, especially since you’d taken medication to help you rest throughout the night. But seems like your body has other plans for you.
Tossing and turning won’t do either. Your head feels much better than it has for the past two days. You’d taken two days off or classes because of intense migraines paired with what seems like onset sickness due to it being flue season. Guilt over missing classes and groveling to your professors (even if they extended grace and told you to rest up) ate you alive, only ebbing away when you closed your eyes and slept.
Your roommate has been away because of a family event and what was once a promising weekend full of relaxation and the apartment to yourself is now a time for you to wallow in your misery. You’ve gone through countless tissues and have slept more in the past few days than in your entire life. It feels like your head might as well be cut off with how many problems your eyes, nose, and throat are giving you.
To pass the time, social media distracts you for a few minutes and you catch glimpses of what your friends have been up to. Partying. Studying. Eating at the cafeteria. All of these are mundane events you took for granted because you’d love to be anywhere but rotting away in your apartment. You’d rather studying for a midterm over feeling like you can’t move without losing your breath.
You take this time to catch up on texts as well. There are so many what remain unread by you and guilt crawls up your spine as you begin to reply to everything.
hi riki!! sorry I haven’t replied yet. I’ve been sick all weekend :/ I wish I could’ve gone to jake’s game with u bc it looked so fun ☹️
jungwon ur your cat is so cute omg…please send more vids. also sorry for replying late im sick lol
sunoo I swear to god if you watch another episode without me, I’m gonna beat your ass whenever I recover
yes, mom. I’m resting as much as I can! sorry I haven’t responded sooner. I still feel sick
heeseung do u think sunghoon would be weirded out if i text him right now. pls advise 😁
Heeseung immediately reads the message and the text bubble appears straight away. He’s one of your closest friends in university who always happens to be friends with Park Sunghoon, the guy you’ve been talking to for the past month and a half.
heeseung: Nah not weird. He’d probably like hearing from you
heeseung: He was asking about you earlier today and said you haven’t been talking to him as much
you: looking at my phone made me nauseous :/
heeseung: You should probably tell him that bc he’s been staring at his phone all day
you: soooo it wouldn’t be weird if I texted him out of the blue rn?? usually we don’t like…start conversations so late
heeseung: You’re overthinking. Just text him and if he doesn’t reply then he’s asleep and will text you in the morning
you: I’m scared of fucking it up
heeseung: There’s nothing to fuck up. If he gets mad that you took care of yourself (he won’t be) then he’s the one who fucked up
you: ugh when did u become the voice of reason
heeseung: :)
Your thumbs hover over the keyboard after you’ve opened Sunghoon’s text. You can imagine his slight pout when you think about how he’d react when he realizes you haven’t texted him back, which makes you feel even more guilty than you already are.
You’re not really sure how you started talking to him, let alone befriended Heeseung to the point where he started inviting you to hang out with him and his group of friends. Heeseung had originally been a study partner for a shared class back when the two of you were sophomores. It’s been a couple of years since then and now most of your conversations consist of TikTok jokes and Heeseung having to deal with you pining over one of his friends.
Sunghoon is every bit of cool you can imagine. He was so quiet when you first met him, residing in his oversized sweater since it was approaching the beginning of autumn. Heeseung invited you to a local bar on a Friday night after midterms and said your first drink would be on him if you made it before last call, knowing very well you were likely getting ready to slip underneath your blankets and call it a night.
He was right as always. You showed up wearing jeans and an old shirt with a jacket that was too big for your body. You’d made somewhat of an effort to look presentable since you’d be hanging out with his friends near campus and would rather not look like you’d gotten rolled over by a locomotive. It was there you met Sunghoon for the first time. He was so quiet that you barely heard him talk until an hour into hanging out with him, but that’s when you learned that he was someone you needed to get to know before he’d show you his loud, boisterous personality.
The more you hung out with him, the more you started to picture yourself with Sunghoon, away from the group you started to call your friends too. You’d only see him when Heeseung invited you out or if you bumped into someone else while Sunghoon was in tow with them. Neither of you seemed to cross paths otherwise and even then, Sunghoon was a bit too timid to approach you first and start a conversation.
Part of you wondered if you were ever too bold when you’d get drunk with him and your friends. You were loud, full of laughter and affection that none of your friends were surprised every time you shouted compliments across the tables and declared your love for the little group you considered to be your family away from home. Heeseung had gotten used to it pretty quickly and so did the others, albeit it took a while for their ears to stop glowing red every time you’d pull them into a drunken hug.
Maybe you sent a little too far with Sunghoon, who immediately tensed when your arms wrapped around his shoulders the first time you let your inhibitions down fully. A few beers and shots in, and Heeseung was anticipating your drunken rant about how much you love the little life the five of you had created and hoped that it would continue even after you all graduate.
Sunghoon always looked a bit intimidating with his dark, thick eyebrows and shielded his wandering eyes. He always looked like he knew what he wanted and his grace always made you think twice about what you’d say to him. Although, you knew this was the beginning of an onset crush that wouldn’t remain hidden for long, let alone when you weren’t sober.
So you’d thrown your arms around Sunghoon’s shoulder and told him how happy you were that Heeseung introduced the two of you. While you try not to think about that moment too much, you recall telling Sunghoon that he was slowly starting to become one of your favorite people because of how funny he is when people least expect it. You liked that he was so kind to his friends and that he was so confident in himself, and that you wished you could be a little more like him.
You also said he was the most beautiful person you’d ever seen. It was a sobering moment because he looked at you like you’d grown two heads and his shoulders felt like they might’ve been pushing you off of his body.
Stumbling with consistent apologies, none of your mutual friends seemed to notice what was happening behind them. You can picture the look on his face when your mind crosses to this moment, how he’d looked at you with bewilderment with his mouth ajar. Sunghoon didn’t say anything and you took that cue to leave him alone and head to the bar, where you hoped distance would make this night seem less tragic than it was.
When morning came around, you were the only person in your shared group chat who declined getting a late morning breakfast due to your embarrassment. Even during the next weekend, when Jake opened up his apartment for a casual hang out, you were the only person who didn’t show up, citing work and study stresses keeping you away from your friends.
Heeseung knew those were merely excuses.
“Cut the shit, Y/N. Are you okay? Did one of the guys do anything to make you uncomfortable?” The worst laced in his tone made you feel guilty for having him think the worse of people he knew before he met you.
“No, nothing like that. I think I’m the one who fucked up and made them uncomfortable.”
“Well clearly not since Jake invited you to his place. What’s going on? Do you want me to come over?”
The last thing you expected from Heeseung was to see him double over in laugher when you explained your predicament, clutching onto your bed like he’d fall to the ground if he didn’t. You’re sure that fit of laugher gave him a new set of abs.
“Sunghoon wasn’t weirded out. He texted me and asked if you were okay.” Heeseung pulled his phone out of his pocket to show you, leaving you in a cloud of confusion. “He probably likes you. Sunghoon’s a natural with girls even if he doesn’t realize they’re flirting with him. I think he likes you too because he’s acting really awkward because he doesn’t know how to deal with it.”
That night left you with more question than answers. You considered texting Sunghoon and asking if the two of you could talk, but you didn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable and tell him what Heeseung told you in fear of putting your friend in an awkward position. So you let the discomfort settle and braved seeing him the next time one of your friends invited you out.
Which, to no one’s surprise, was the weekend after Jake’s get together. Seoul’s autumn carnival was in its third weekend by the time the five of you were able to find adequate time to ride every rollercoaster and eat until your stomachs caved in. You loved the fair and were the first person to buy an admission ticket. Poor Jay, who wasn’t the biggest fan of big rides in the first place, tagged along with Jake every time he insisted on it. You tried your best to keep some distance between yourself and Sunghoon, even if Heeseung said you were being ridiculous. You’d chosen to stick by him until Sunghoon volunteered to help you pick up the food trays when you lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.
“I’m sorry that I acted weird that night,” he said, cutting the silence as the two of you waited for your order. He didn’t have to explain. You knew what he was talking about. “Heeseung said you felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable but I need you to know you didn’t make me feel that way.”
That was the longest sentence he’d ever said to you, let alone it being the first time he initiated a conversation with you. He watched as you stood with your eyes wide and mouth parted like you wanted to say something but didn’t know how to say it.
“I think you just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting you to say nice things about me. I didn’t realize we were that close because you’d been affectionate with everyone but me up until that night.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I was, uh, flustered.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He averted your gaze and looked at his shoes momentarily before he looked back at you. “I liked what you said. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”
You laughed at the awkwardness dissipating. “I thought I crossed a line, or something. You just sat there and I thought I fucked up by touching you.”
He shook his head. “You didn’t. I…I liked it a lot.” You tried to hide a grin by keeping your bubbling excitement under wraps failed miserably. Sunghoon smiled too, offering to carry most of the trays back to the table where your friends were too hungry to talk for the next ten minutes.
The memory brings you back to the present where your thumbs hover the keyboard. You start to read back the conversation between the two of you and feel those butterflies erupt in your stomach for the umpteenth time. The two of you have talked about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits. So why is texting him to let him know you’ve been sick for the past few days so difficult for you?
you: hi
you: sorry I haven’t texted a lot in the past few days. I’ve been having migraines and now I’ve caught a cold ):
you: im sorry for texting so late too
He texts immediately.
sunghoon: You don’t have to be sorry. Are you feeling better now?
sunghoon: Actually don’t answer that
Your phone rings.
“Hey,” you say with your phone propped against your ear. “Sorry for bothering you.”
“You’re not bothering me. I’m the only who’s calling you when you’re sick, so I’m technically the one bothering you.” His laugh on the other line makes you smile a little too hard. “I was really worried. None of the guys heard from you so I figured you needed some space.”
“Unfortunately. I had to skip a few classes because it hurt to stand up. I’m pretty sure I’ve slept more this past week than I have in the last month.”
“I’m sorry. That really sucks.”
“I feel bad that I haven’t been able to talk to you.”
As if Sunghoon could sense you pouting, he clicks his tongue and reassures you. “It’s fine, Y/N. I’d probably do the same thing. I can’t imagine how much pain you’ve been in.”
“I would honestly rather study and take a million midterms than go through this again. I feel like someone just took their shoe off of my head.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better. Can I bring you anything? Medicine, maybe?”
You cough a little. “No, but thank you. My friend dropped off a lot of NyQuil and other stuff to help me. It’s working…kind of. Still feel like shit, though.”
“…Can I come over? To help you with your sickness, of course. I can bring you soup.”
“You don’t have to do that.” You frantically rise from your bed amidst his words and realize there are tissues on the ground and dirty clothes strewn everywhere because of your lack of energy. Your living room must be a mess, too, and this would also be the first time Sunghoon would see you without any makeup on.
“I want to. But I mean, only if you’re up for it. I don’t want to stress you out since you’re sick. I just want to help make you feel better. That…and I miss you.”
Sunghoon’s never been so direct before. Even though the two of you have been talking for a while, neither of you have been so forward about it. Conversations are always subtly flirty to the point where the effervescent feeling simmers just underneath the surface. The two of you have hung out without the rest of your friends and have been alone before, but neither one of you has gone so far as you be so bold about the other.
“I miss you too,” you whisper into the phone.
“Give me thirty minutes. I’ll come with soup.”
He hangs up and with a newfound sense of urgency, you make your bed and throw away any stray trash. You put your dirty laundry in the hamper, which is piled high and untouched. It’ll be a problem for when you’re not sick.
The living room isn’t too bad. You straighten furniture and throw away empty takeout containers and wash a few utensils. The tasks don’t feel as draining as they did a few days ago and you’re starting to regain a little bit of your breath.
True to his word, Sunghoon arrives thirty minutes after he said he would. You open the door and look at him. He’s wearing blue hoodie and sweatpants with specs that make him look significantly more attractive than you’re used to.
“Hi,” Sunghoon says with a gentle smile. “I missed you.”
You bite your lip and blurt out your first thought. “You look really good in those glasses.”
Sunghoon chuckles. “Thank you. Can I come in?”
“Right, right.” You step aside and he follows you into your apartment. He takes his shoes off and places them neatly by the shoe rack.
“I might need to reheat this. I got it from that place near my apartment. You know, the one with the yellow banner?”
“I love that place.”
He smiles at you. “I know. Can I heat up some soup for you?”
When you nod, Sunghoon moves to the correct cabinet and pulls out everything he needs. It astounds you because he’s only ever been to your apartment twice before, both times with your other friends in tow. It dawns on you that it’s the first time the two of you are alone in your space. You’re touched that he remembers where your things are.
He beckons you to sit on the counter in front of the steaming bowl and the aroma of spices makes your mouth water. You haven’t been able to eat consistently in the past few days, surviving on bland foods like bread and crackers to sustain your health because anything else made you feel sicker than you were. The steam feels good against your skin and you dig in right away.
Sunghoon pulls your hair back when it gets close to the rim and holds it for you while you lap up the soup. It seems as though you’re hungrier than you thought because you sit there wordlessly, shoveling liquid into your mouth while Sunghoon watches.
“Sorry,” you apologize. “I must look like a zoo animal.”
“You’re sick, Y/N. You have nothing to apologize for. The first meal you can stomach is the best one.” It’s like he gets you. Sunghoon continues to hold your hair back until you’re finished. He washes the bowl and spoon, and puts it back where they belong.
Sunghoon turns around and looks at you under the ambient lighting you and your roommate put up in lieu of the overhead lights. It feels like he’s inspecting you and you try really hard not to think about the fact that you don’t feel presentable in this moment.
“Your apartment feels very you,” Sunghoon says. “I like all of the green furniture and the art on the wall.”
“My roommate picked the decor out but I’m starting to understand why she loves art so much.”
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” he asks, looking at you. “Would you want to go to an art museum with me?”
“I’d really like that.”
Sunghoon pulls you by the hand to your couch and you try your best not to feel flustered with his touch. He sits you down on the cushion and immediately you feel like you need to be hyper vigilant because he’s looking around the apartment and you’re wondering if he can see the messes you see.
“Do you have a blanket? We could watch some TV. Or I could go. I don’t know.”
“Don’t go.” You say it too quickly but Sunghoon’s shoulders relax. “The blankets are beside the couch.”
He drapes it over you, leaving himself to fend for the cold. Although you’re sure he’s pretty warm, you open up the blanket and invite him to share it with you.
This is new territory. You two have just been talking. But Sunghoon isn’t deterred. He slots himself next to you and doesn’t shy away when he feels your arm pressed against him.
“Sorry for the mess. And for, well…” He watches you gesture to your face, which is undoubtedly red with dark circles underneath your eyes.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything. I still like you.”
You aren’t used to him being so upfront like this. He watches you with easy eyes, the kind of feeling that makes you believe what he says. Sunghoon is pretty reserved when it comes to these types of things and you often find yourself being the one to push him towards his bolder side. But even though you feel flustered by his words and underneath his stare, you like this newer side of him.
“I’m such a mess.”
Sunghoon watches you push your forehead into his shoulder in an attempt to hide yourself from him. He smiles at your antics and loves the feeling of your body on his. He’s been hesitant to do things like hold your hand or kiss your cheek in fear or overstepping a boundary. He doesn’t know what came over him when he held your hair back from falling into the hot soup. He knows very well that he could’ve asked where you kept your hair ties, but helping you when he knows you need it felt like the right thing to do.
Now, he wonders if you’re growing bolder with him too. You let your forehead rest against his hoodie as you take deep breaths. He hears you sniffle a few times and nearly coos at the mere thought of you suffering from your sickness. When you pull yourself away from him, the tip of your nose is slightly runny and your eyes look a bit more red than usual.
“I feel like I got hit by a truck.”
He bites his lip. “You could look worse.” You try not to let your cheeks rise in heat.
“You’re just being nice.”
Sunghoon laughs and shakes his head. He could never lie about how he feels towards you. “Nope. You still look really cute.” He watches the gears work inside your head and locates the TV remote when you don’t say anything. “What do you want to watch?”
“I dunno.”
“C’mon, you must’ve been watching TV while you were cooped up here.”
You shake your head. “Migraine, remember? Felt like my eyes were gonna burst.”
This time, he coos out loud. Sunghoon puts on a show you’ve mentioned enjoying in the past and hopes he chose correctly. You seem to be mellowing out and paying attention to the screen in front of you until you start breathing heavily. It’s not until he hears you try to silence a small coughing fit that he shoots up from his seat and pours you a glass of water.
“Here.” Sunghoon doesn’t let you hold the glass. Instead, he beckons your mouth open by placing the rim between your lips and lets you swallow the water, tilting it up until you’ve consumed all of it. He wipes the excess water from the corners of your mouth with his thumb and looks down at you with concern. “Do you have any tea? I can make you some. Hopefully that’ll soothe your throat.”
“Stupid medicine isn’t working,” you grumble. “I might as well perish.”
“Tea, baby,” Sunghoon says, the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. You almost don’t notice it. “Where do you keep your tea and honey?”
“Cabinet beside the fridge.”
Sunghoon comes back a few minutes later with piping hot chamomile tea with honey. You don’t know how he does it, anticipating your every need and putting just enough honey where it doesn’t feel like you’re stuffing your throat with the sweet nectar. You sip on it slowly as he situates himself back underneath the blanket and keeps his eyes on the television while you try to calm your erratic heartbeat.
Eventually, the episode finished and it’s almost four in the morning when you start to get sleepy. Sunghoon hears you yawning beside him and does his best not to grin like a lovesick idiot when you push your body against his in an attempt to get comfortable. You’re holding the empty cup loosely in your hands when your eyes start to droop and as much as Sunghoon would love to stay like this, he knows it’ll be better for you to sleep in your own bed with your back against the mattress.
“Baby,” Sunghoon whispers. He grabs the mug from your hands and sets it on the coffee table. “I think you should sleep in your bed. You’ll feel a lot better when you wake up.”
“But you’re so warm.”
He bites back a smile. “Thank you, but you’re gonna wake up with back pain and I know you’ll be mad that you didn’t sleep with pillows.”
He’s right and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from letting a whine slip past. Sunghoon doesn’t complain when you lean on him for support (or rather, you push your full weight onto him because you cannot be bothered with physical tasks at this late hour). Instead, he holds your waist with his arm and guides you into your bedroom from his memory of coming here a couple times before now.
Despite this, he’s never been inside your room. You’ve always kept the door closed but as he opens it, Sunghoon completely melts at how your bedroom is so utterly you. The dark green comforter hugs your queen-sized bed and a mountain of pillows cover the top near the bed frame. Your desk is an organized mess of notebooks, pens, and highlighters you carry with you during study sessions. Photographs in pretty frames decorate your walls along with posters of your favorite music and films.
He spots a picture of the two of you from that day at the amusement park when Heeseung insisted on taking a photo since the lighting was “perfect.” Sunghoon suspected that wasn’t the case but let him take it anyhow. He always considered that to be his first official memory with you. Knowing you might feel the same makes Sunghoon’s heart flutter.
“Let’s get you into bed, yeah?”
His soft touches make you fall much deeper into your tiredness. The mattress below you feels too good to be true as Sunghoon opens the blankets for you to crawl underneath. He watches you carefully as you scoot to one side and make yourself comfortable, wondering if you’re enjoying the side of him that wants to pamper you.
When you’re all tucked in with the blankets underneath your chin, Sunghoon can’t help but lean down and brush a few stray hair strands from your face. He caresses your cheek and holds himself back despite your lips being right in front of him. Instead, he settles for rubbing your soft cheek with his thumb before leaving.
Except, you reach out and grab onto his wrist. “Where are you going?”
His looks back at you in the dim light. “Home, baby. I’ll let you sleep.”
The pout you’re wearing is tearing him limb from limb. “I don’t want you to go home.”
“No?”
You shake your head. “Please…I haven’t seen you at all this week.” Sunghoon hears the strain in your voice and he isn’t sure if you’re awake enough to know what you’re saying. “I-I just want you here with me.”
How could he say no to that?
Sunghoon sits on the empty side of the bed and lets you guide your hand in his bigger one. He watches as you shake your head and he’s about to ask what you mean when you open the blanket.
He feels momentarily guilty when he pulls his hand away from you because he hears you whine again, but he slips off his hoodie to avoid overheating. He’s left in his sweatpants and a loose shirt when sliding into your bed right next to you.
You waste no time and attach yourself to Sunghoon, pushing your body until you’re resting on his chest. He does his best not to let his heartbeat give him away. This is the most he’s ever touched you. At best, he’d brush his hand against yours and waited for the right time to hold it. Today feels like he’s thrown caution into the wind.
Sunghoon puts his glasses on your night table and pulls you close to him, encircling his arms until he finds a comfortable position. Your warm breaths litter his skin and he feels like he could run laps with how happy he is in this moment. You look so cute with your body limp against his. He loves that you’re not hesitant around him anymore and hopes you know just how much he wants you close to him.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Sunghoon says in the dark, unsure if you’re still awake or not.
“What’s your secret?”
Your eyes remain closed, eyelashes covering your beautiful eyes and your cheeks are squished into a pout against his chest. He looks down at you like you’re precious cargo and a rare gem he never wants to let go of.
“I really want to kiss you.”
You don’t say anything. Instead, Sunghoon feels you move your head until you press a kiss against his chest, allowing your lips to linger for a few seconds before reverting back to your original position.
“Kiss me tomorrow.”
Sunghoon hears you snoring soon after.
“Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “I can do that.”
***
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