Lee Heeseung Smut - Tumblr Posts
heeseung hard thought (18+) - masterlist
WARNINGS: dry humping, public sex (they grind at a house party in a dark kitchen), mentions of semi-infidelity on heeseung’s end (in which his parents appoint him a girlfriend but you look too fuckable for him to ignore).
NOTES: got too worked up writing this lol. started working on a more fleshed out version with backstory and plot but need to get this concept out before i can write anything else. please note that this story is not a reflection of who i am and what i believe in. this scenario is merely discovering a fantasy within fiction. i do not condone infidelity or forcing a relationship.
***
heeseung is probably somebody who comes from a wealthy family and is betrothed to his childhood best friend from the moment she was born (seven months after him, to be exact). except he doesn’t love her in the way she loves him. he thinks of her as his annoying little sister while she thinks of him as her future husband.
university is where it gets tricky. he spends the first two years fucking girls left and right until it all comes to a standstill when both of their parents inform him of the predicament he finds himself in now. heeseung is expected to date and marry her, no questions asked. they already let him off the hook for wanting to study music production. the other shoe just dropped.
he abstains from sex for three months until his friends bring him to a house party where he meets you. you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen with legs like sin and eyes that remind him of all of the sexual escapades he’s had in the past. it calls for him, so much so that he’s throwing caution in the wind and kissing you while you’re perched on the countertop in sunghoon’s kitchen. the room is dim and everyone is too drunk to notice the two of you.
temporarily feeling the guilt seep in, heeseung tells you he has a girlfriend because of an arrangement. he tells you a short summary of his troubles and fully expects you to back away because entangling yourself in this mess isn’t something he thinks anyone would do.
but you don’t. you push yourself against his cock and he feels the way your panties mold against your pussy because of how wet you are. you pull him closer and he swears you lips taste exactly what heaven must feel like. somewhere in between, you reach down and position his cock until it’s standing up straight with the tip poking out. when you spit on his mushroom head, heeseung pushes down the loud moan threatening to spill from him.
he grinds against you with his betrothed in the back of his mind. he doesn’t technically have a girlfriend and the girl in front of him knows how he feels about him. yet this feels like cheating. heeseung is ashamed when he thinks about it while his cock grinds against your covered pussy. he’s even more ashamed when the idea of sneaking behind her back to fuck you makes him cum. he’d fuck you in his bed, in your bed, in her bed…just to her neck at her from years of pestering him.
he’s spreading his thick essence all over your panties and you cum when you feel his hot droplets all over you. it feels heavenly and the forbidden aspect makes your head dizzy. heeseung pushes his exposed tip against you, savoring the way your lace fabric feels against his bare skin.
he wonders if you’d ever let him fuck you for real.
***
masterlist
Okay okay hear me out cuz I haven't stopped thinking about this. Sitting on boyfriend heeseung's lap and playing with his neck chain, giggling to yourself, telling him that you really like when he wears it. When he asks why, you shyly tell him that you imagine it dangling on your face while he's on top of you. And he loses his goddamn mind. ARGH
It’s kinda my dream for this to happen to me. bye
***
Neither you nor Heeseung are paying attention to the shitty movie playing on Netflix. You’re too preoccupied with chasing his lips and he’s too busy squeezing your hips to care that the film is halfway over.
It’s been like this for the past few minutes or so with your boyfriend, who you had been crushing on since the beginning of the year and him just a few months shy of that. It’s new, maybe only a week or so into this new relationship, but the newfound romance sparks curiosity within you.
His silver necklace has a small pendant in the middle and the chain against his skin makes him look like walking sex. Heeseung is far more experienced than you are, having gone through a phase in college where all he wanted to do was get his dick wet and make as many girls cum on his mouth, fingers, and cock before finally realizing all he wanted to do was settle down with one person.
His kisses are always so deliberate and calculated like he’s trying to prove something to you. His hands don’t wander for the fear of making you uncomfortable because he knows you aren’t as forward with your romantic past. Sex positivity and all of that; neither of you really care about how many or how little people you’ve collectively hooked up with because none of that matters when you have each other.
Still, thinking about how you paint yourself as some kind of saint makes Heeseung want to test your limits and it makes his dick jump every time he thinks about it.
The farthest you’ve gone was dry humping in his dorm room when his roommate was gone for the weekend. Again, this whole relationship is new and neither of you care to rush yourselves into it because you were friends before you became a couple. But even so, he has needs and so do you. It’s just a matter of pursuing sex when it feels right.
Heeseung feels your fingertips playing with the chain against the back of his neck. He smiles into the kiss and soothes your skin with his thumb, pulling back only slightly until his lips rest against yours.
“You like my necklace, baby?” he asks in a soft whisper, enjoying your plump lips against his. A giggle bubbles out of you and you can’t stop it. The sound reverberates against his mouth and Heeseung smiles wider, pushing his lips against yours. “What’s so funny?”
You shake your head and peck him once. “Nothing. You look pretty with it on.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.” Your fingers caress the metal and his skin at the same time. “I really like it when you wear it.”
“Why’s that, baby?”
“I dunno.” You lean back and look at him, shrugging your shoulders like you want to say something more but don’t. “I just do.”
“C’mon. There must be a reason.” Heeseung squeezes your hips and smiles at you lazily. He watches you bite your lip and avert his eyes. So fucking cute.
“I’m too shy to say it.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Heeseung promises, leaning forward to kiss your cheek tenderly. He waits for you to look at him and encourages you to talk to him by nodding. That heat creeps up your neck.
“I-I imagine it dangling over me sometimes.”
Heeseung’s hands freeze and grip your hips. “What do you mean?” You look behind him before he beckons you to look at him again.
“I…think about you on top of me with your necklace in my face.”
He gulps. “What are we doing?”
“Having sex.”
You say it so quietly. It’s barely a whisper but the way you say it makes you sound like being fucked is something you think about often. The gears in his head turn and he’s thinking about all of the mental images he’s conjured up in his head when he touches himself to avoid putting you on the spot whenever he gets horny.
But now it’s as if the gates are open. His mind is flooded with different scenarios but he can’t stop picturing what you’d look like underneath him, specifically with his necklace dangling over your tits as he pushes his cock into you for the first time.
“Heeseung?” you ask tentatively, afraid that you might’ve taken things too far.
Your boyfriend catches you by surprise. He bucks his already semi-hard dick up into your clothed lap and a groan emits from the back of his throat.
“Fuck.”
He scoops you up in his arms and ignores your yelp in favor of carrying you to the bedroom with your legs wrapped securely around him. Neither of you care that the TV is still on. Heeseung can only think about what you’d look like with his pendant right next to your mouth.
“I need to fuck you right now,” Heeseung moans when he places you onto the mattress and pushes his clothed dick against your core. “Need to see that right now.”
You don’t complain.
***
comments and reblogs are appreciated! x
Enha NSFW link!!
Heeseung - Late at night when he knows everyone is asleep he sneaks you in, at first just happy to finally see you and hold you. Then come the lingering touches and kisses all over until neither if you can resist and finally giving into each other...
Jake - The member had just left and you were over at the dorm, it was a normal day just hanging with jake playing games eating cuddling. You didn't notice when Jake's eyes darkened as he held you tighter between his legs and starting to remove your clothes...
Jay - It was a long day with recording and practice now that the new album is coming out so jay ivited you over to help him relax and get rid of some stress that he may have had. What he didn't expect was how good you looked in the set he got you ready for him to de-stress.
Sunghoon - When you got to the dorms you couldn't even knock on the door before it suddenly swung open hand grabbing yours and instantly pulling you inside kisses attacking you and touches that left your skin burning, this could only mean one thing sunghoon was horny, so that meant it was going to be a long night for you... thank goodness everyone went to bed already
Hey everyone I wanted to do a link post because I've been inactive and I wanted to come back let me know if you guys liked it and if I should do more!! As always feedback is always welcome and appreciated!!
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 1
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Minggyu (Seventeen) & BTS
PAIRING: FEM OC X ENHYPEN
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.
Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.
Do you accept?
Okay, follow me for a moment!
A little context is needed to understand the dire situation in witch I find myself.
I'm a graphic designer, I was born in Campania, Italy, but I moved very early to Bologna, still in Italy but in another region, with mom and dad who are now little more than acquaintances to me, where I spent my existence until my 22nd birthday, when I moreover found out that my idiot boyfriend was cheating on me, with his cousin.
I didn't have time to feel bad about it, because I was pretty disgusted in general. However, it wasn't that I was in love with him, I simply found myself a bit lost - with the only known relatives inhabitants of small remote little cities in the Campania hinterland, who haven't seen me in at least ten years, and a failed career as an advertising graphic designer.
Unable to maintain the hectic pace of business, not to mention the harassment and constant mansplaining I was suffering, I retreated into freelancing. By being able to manage my schedule, I could also manage me, and think about the future.
For several months I contemplated going to Spain but then one of the few friends I had left at the time, after hosting me in her house for some strange reason in Sorrento (in Campania!), always kept secret from her, proposed me to leave with her for Seoul.
It was the fashion of the moment, I had heard about it, but I was too focused on self-pity to be interested in such frivolities - as a matter of fact, while we had been planning the trip for months, I got a little obsessed myself.
She likes BTS, for me too overblown, too famous. I used to focus more on the up-and-comers, there was one band in particular, it consisted of one guy who was better looking than the other, however, not being a kpop senior yet I sometimes confused them, I couldn't even pronounce their name.
So you can imagine my excitement when, just two months after moving to Seoul, I was contacted by a Hybe agent who, after looking at my portfolio found on a website, said he was pleasantly impressed and would like something in my style, for the cover of ENYPHEN's next album, that's how he pronounced it!
After I heard him say those words over the phone I was silent, not because I was thinking about it - of course I was speechless.
It had to be some scam, it had to be! There can be no such coincidence in real life.
The man emailed me his calling card, so I could look up the information on the Internet, and a place to meet.
At Hybe's headquarters.
Are you kidding me? Ester said thus. "Do you think I would let you go alone? What if he is a maniac?"
I didn't speak Korean at the time, but I knew English pretty well, so, yes, I was able to get the job, but in the end, for some reason, my illustration was used for the SIDE B of the album, completely different, official but not primary concept version. I was quite hurt at first, but then I realized that it was already absurd to be able to work with them, I really had no complaints.
Of course, we never met either BTS or ENHYPEN, although once I went alone (I couldn't always go with Ester), I saw Beomgyu from TXT who I have a very heavy crush on, although he always gave me very strange vibes. I obviously didn't even get close to him and looked at him from a distance, however, he was in a hurry anyway, so it's not certain that he would stop.
Okay, let's move on!
After the collaboration was over, I pocketed good money, we ate takeout for at least two weeks in a row, we went in clubs all the time, while every now and then I had flashbacks of my ex-boyfriend, for whom I had begun to feel a strange empathy, as if he were mentally ill. It wasn't the cousin thing as the fact that he had no need to look for a lover - we pretty much did it all the time! It was one of the few things I did well and fucking gladly!
But maybe, I wasn't good enough?
Months passed, Ester taught me Korean, which she had taught herself, and while she was having fun with a lot of guys, I had entered a new state of paralysis. After working with Hybe I expected many requests, many contacts, would come, but instead nothing. Small jobs for small activities with small monetary and psychological rewards.
I didn't do the same as Ester not because I was demure - that adjective was never a part of me - as much as because I still couldn't understand let alone speak Korean, and not everyone knew English, so sometimes it happened that I felt uncomfortable, out of place. I managed to use the time of work paralysis to engage in study, I had to have a social life too! Independently of Ester!
Eventually I decided that for ten hours a day Ester and I could communicate only in Korean, she agreed without thinking and began the experiment. After three months I was able to speak Korean almost fluently, to the point that sometimes we did not even return to speaking Italian.
I was ready to embark on enterprising and exciting multi-ethnic relationships, socializing, and trying to understand South Korea better!
I discovered that it was a terrible place.
Not so much from the foreigner's point of view, but for the Koreans themselves, all very rigid with each other and with themselves, always competing, but also misogynistic, macho, not to mention the jokes about foreign women I heard! Terrible.
Tired of South Korea, after only a year, I talked to Ester about going back-it came out as a hypothetical, after all, I was going to do what she wanted anyway. I didn't want to be alone, and she seemed happy to live with me.
She convinced me to stay a little longer, she wanted to introduce me to her official boyfriend, a good one, really, not interested exclusively in sex! Yes, they are all like that, I had experienced it myself.
Just before I could meet him, however, the two broke up. Sad for Ester who looked devastated, but underneath happy, maybe to be able to go back to Sorrento, to breathe clean air, I consoled her for a whole night, we stayed up drinking and laughing, or crying.
Before I went to bed, in the early hours of dawn, I looked at my cell phone as usual and noticed that Hybe had texted me, again!
Sleep disappeared, I went back to Ester, who had fallen asleep on the floor in the living room, and woke her up to tell her the fantastic news, fuck, I was so excited! Who was I going to work for this time? TXT? BTS? Seventeen?
Copyright violation: that was the subject line, and oddly enough, the entire email was written completely and exclusively in Korean. I was being sued on behalf of Hybe for infringing the copyright of a Pakistan artist who had in turn sued Hybe, because of my design, and won!
What great news! I had gotten incredibly good at Korean.
"Ama, are you okay? Oh, Ama? You look pale!" Ester had said, grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me.
"Hybe wants compensation of eight hundred million won," I had said, under my breath, incredulously, "that's like five hundred thousand euros."
"But you don't have it!"
"I know I don't have it."
"Then you can't give it to them, sue them!"
Yes, it would have been nice and easy but I had no idea how the law worked in Korea, and anyway I couldn't sue them because the contract I had signed had exactly one copyright clause in it. If I had in any way caused damage to the agency's image, through copyright infringement, I would have been called upon to compensate them one billion won, which however had been generously raised to eight hundred million, to make it easier for me, understand?
I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Reach Mexico? Return to Italy? Apply for a loan? And would they grant it to me? Ester advised me to talk to them directly and look for a reasonable solution, offered to accompany me, but when we arranged to meet, they told me to show up alone, or with my lawyer, although this was not necessary because we would talk about it cordially.
I knew Korean quite well now, and inside Hybe practically everyone spoke English. I'll go alone.
I met the CEO himself, a man with round glasses and a kind, smiling, serene face, Park Jiwon. He told me to make myself comfortable and congratulated me for going without a lawyer, since what he was going to propose was best heard only by me.
"Changing the illustration from SIDE A to SIDE B, that was your greatest good fortune, wasn't it?" He had said, smiling in that gentle way that was now chilling.
"I am deeply sorry Mr. Park, I have never seen-"
"I know you can't pay - he had politely interrupted me, getting up from his desk and motioning his secretary to leave. - I'm here to offer you something beneficial, in which you'll always be safe and won't have to worry about, however, it's up to you to decide whether you'd rather return the money or not."
It's called the Jyp method.
Are you curious? This is a funny story.
Korean idols, whether male or female, are people of extreme beauty. It's unthinkable that they won't touch or let anyone touch them for years on end, but that's exactly what the fans want - who feel they are in complete control of their bodies.
Creepy, I realize, but it is quite normal in some parts of Asia.
So how can these poor boys "let off steam"?
The males are given a girl to live with them, together they can have as much fun as they want but within the limits of the host's safety and preferences.
For females it is a bit different but he still wanted to explain it to me, in fact for them multiple partners are needed and these partners do not live with them, but they can make appointments, as if they were gigolos working only for them.
The reason why this is used is because of scandals, any outside relationship cannot really be monitored by the agency. If girls and boys do not need to look for a stable partner and can simply take out their sexual desires on someone, the risk of scandal decreases significantly and their popularity is safe, as are the earnings on them.
In contrast to male guests, female guests tend to be a bit more problematic, which is why only one is usually chosen.
He makes it clear up front that it is forbidden to have relationships with idols, both parties must behave respectfully, and for any complaints from the guest, the agency will take appropriate action, so it is a completely safe situation, understand?
It is called the Jyp method because it was the CEO of the music label of the same name who invented it.
What do you care, you should do it! That's what I thought too, I mean - the band in question was really Enyphen! That way you won't have to pay for it anymore and you'll be hanging out with a lot of pretty boys! That's what you're thinking, it's obvious, really - I thought it first.
Yet to say yes, just offhand, I didn't feel like it.
Mr. Park told me to think about it calmly, giving me two days.
I talked to Ester about it; she did not give me any advice.
She just told me to read the contract well, this time, in case I wanted to accept it, but still she would not judge me, and then I could present them to her - even though I still knew nothing about how the matter was going to unfold.
Clearly I agreed, it was obvious, wasn't it? Otherwise we wouldn't be here.
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 2
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
"She is your host, she will help you keep your house in order, she will take care of you in every aspect. - President Jiwon explains, looking at the boys in front of him. - You will take turns and since there is no extra room, Amanda will take turns sleeping in everyone's room. It is not necessary for you to have sexual relations but you are still entitled to this opportunity."
The way he speaks is honest but elegant, he explained almost everything with that nonchalance, as if it were business stuff - and indeed it is.
"What's going on?" Sunghoon asks incredulously, interrupting his superior, and noticing how the others in the band are looking at him as well, recomposes himself.
"I said she will help you with the house, but in a limited way. It is still your responsibility to take care of it 99%. - He resumes his speech, the man, with an annoyed expression. - You will have to cooperate and consider your guest a collaborator. Don't create problems and everything will be fine!" He finally exults, beaming.
"Mr. Park..." Tries to open his mouth Jake, shocked, unable to say anything else.
"Any non-consensual act will be severely punished, every week we will come for a psychological and physical checkup of the guest."
I keep my gaze down, am bitter, feel miserable, and sincerely fear whatever they are thinking of me. A rejection would be the least degrading thing, to be honest, but by now I have introduced myself, and as much as I am already regretting it, I can only face it.
"Amanda?" Tries to pronounce, almost tenderly, Heeseung, which manages to melt my embarrassment for a second so that I lift my gaze. I meet his eyes, my god, he's too close, too handsome.
"Nice to ... meet all of you!" I say, shakily, bending as far as I can to make a formal korean bow.
"Nice to meet you." Sighs Jay, I recognize his voice even without looking at him.
"So..." Sunoo sounds amused.
"Is she a prostitute? Did you at least give her medical exams?" Sunghoon blurts out surprised.
"You will stay at the seventh day. All agreed?" Jiwon, the CEO, instantly admonishes him, hitting the boy on the back of the head.
"Yes." They repeat in chorus, the others.
Yes, of course they did them to me, dear Sunghoon, but not because I am a prostitute! Embarrassment fades in earnest when I hear them say these things, maybe I prostrated myself too much - after all, I don't owe them a damn thing, they're the ones who should be thanking me, since they're going to use me. No?
"Amanda... - He repeats, with perfect pronunciation Jake. - Are you Spanish?"
"Italian..." I nod, not quite sure why.
"Ronaldo!" Jungwon exclaims laughing, advancing toward me.
"Ronaldo is portuguese.. Everyone knows that." Says Heeseung.
The situation is all too normal, how come? I almost feel at ease - I shouldn't, should I? I look around, avoiding their stares, not quite sure what to say or how to approach, but in a little while the CEO will be leaving.
"Did you bring everything?" Jay asks, very nonchalantly, as if we know each other, taking the trolley out of my hands gallantly.
I stand staring at him paralyzed, he is simply magnificent up close, I seem to be blushing all too noticeably. "No...leave it, I'll do it."
"You sleep in my room tonight." He surprises me, after firmly closing his hand around the doorknob.
"Intrepid! - Jiwon exclaims enthusiastically, patting Jay on the shoulder. - I'll leave it in good hands, if necessary you can decide to vote not to entrust the host to someone, like in reality TV, but don't take it too personally, okay? The important thing is not to make trouble."
He leaves leaving them with the words "treat her well, treat her respectfully." He repeated this several times, this made me feel a little safe, perhaps because inside I am a die-hard fan, and apart from Sunghoon, they all gave me a good impression.
There's something genuinely in their eyes that makes me feel at ease, plus, following Jay to his room, under the gaze of everyone still not realizing what's going on and mumbling, whispering to each other, makes me feel quite special.
"Do you realize what you've gotten yourself into?!" Jay asks, even before formally introducing himself. He has closed the door behind him and glares at me.
"It's not like I could do otherwise..." I explain, somewhat.
"Anything else would have been better, those are animals!"
"There's nothing improper about consensual sex." I sigh, trying to stick to my choice, even though I now feel judged and ashamed.
"It was obvious that you were okay with it, since you're here. - He says, his voice suddenly exuding a certain distrust, a revulsion. - I'm just looking out for you, and for the band."
"You don't even know me - I say, my eyes downcast, - you don't have to worry about me."
"I'm not worrying about you but about your safety. You have no idea what they will do to you."
"You talk as if they were monsters..."
"They are males, aren't they?"
Right, he's aware of that too.
"What about you?"
He seems surprised at my answer, maybe even impressed, as his expression suddenly softens.
"So am I, isn't it obvious?" He then says, brusque again.
Now that surprise is me. "It's not all rotten."
He stiffens, looks away. "Can't you sever the contract? Have you already signed?"
"Yeah, I've already resigned anyway. After this assignment I'll leave Korea and also leave this adventure behind, assuming I'm still alive."
"But don't you have parents? What will they think if something like this comes out?"
"Mr. Park says nothing has ever leaked out, and almost all the bands have guests. That should be fine."
"Were you doing this job before?"
I look at him and am offended, but maybe I shouldn't be. The reason I'm here certainly can raise similar doubts, only said this way it's certainly more tolerable.
"No, I am not a prostitute. I violated Hybe's copyright clause and have no family members who can help me raise that kind of money, and I checked, no bank is willing to give me such a loan. I had no choice, really."
Jay rubs his face wearily. "I'll make room in the closet for you, keep your things here."
Sighing relieved, the talk is shelved for the moment. "I thought certain decisions were made by the leader." I joke, approaching him who has begun to haphazardly gather his stuff to throw it somewhere else.
I stay staring at him, he is really beautiful - he notices, he doesn't seem bothered, he must be used to it. "The leader, when the lights are out, is me." He says this in a serious voice, he doesn't seem to be joking.
As he activates my feminine senses, he turns off the fan in me a bit, for some reason.
"Amanda, huh?" He pronounces too, fairly correctly, if not for the american cadence.
"You say that right." I reply in a gentle voice, and this time he's the one looking at me, though I'm not sure why.
"Are you a fan?"
"Actually yes...but I wouldn't want you to think that's why I agreed. It's more the fear of Hybe's lawyers than the beauty of Enyphen, and anyway, I don't like korean men. You guys are beautiful just to look at."
"Then you shouldn't be so quiet."
"However - I continue, amused, - they fuck well. Too bad you guys have closed minds."
"I am not completely korean." He reminds me.
I shift my pupils to him, then laugh nervously, I know perfectly well that he is not. "And do you have an open mind?"
He doesn't answer right away; he stays staring at me, which makes me nervous. "Who knows."
He's acting tough, and maybe he really is, maybe he was serious about the leader thing, but he seems to be a good person, and it's strange that he gives me such a strong impression after such a short time.
"What are you doing? Have you started yet?" He suddenly opens the door, Heeseung.
"Knock, asshole." The owner of the room tackles him.
I feel the older man's eyes on me, it's strange, they are piercing, yet he has an innocuous face. "Aren't we going to make introductions?"
"We're coming."
"Why does she put things down at your place?"
An awkward silence envelops us, for several seconds, then Heeseung chuckles, dampening the atmosphere.
"Okay, anyway, there's space at my place too, if I need to bring more stuff."
"How generous." Jay comments, waving me out, politely first.
I thank him with a nod, then walk past Heeseung who doesn't seem at all perturbed by my proximity; who knows, maybe he doesn't think I'm a pest.
After all, it would also be advantageous, if they are the ones who don't want to have relations with me I can't really do anything about it, I would have tried what I could anyway, and Jiwon should recognize that.
However, not because of any particular self-esteem as much as because I have a definite idea about men in general, I don't expect anything like that, realistically.
In the living room, still talking confusedly to each other, Enhypen are interrupted by my arrival. I feel like when I changed schools as a child and was introduced in front of the whole class on the first day.
"How old are you?" He immediately breaks the silence, Sunoo, watching me with his arms crossed.
"Twenty-three."
"Were you born in 2001?" Heeseung then asks.
"Yes."
Jake rests a hand on his hip. "How did you end up here?"
So I told them the matter, in detail, and at the end, the quietest of them all - Niki, who for some reason keeps to himself in silence - had brought beers, and we sat down, some on the couch (Jay, Jake and I), some on the floor (Niki, Heeseung, Sunoo and Sunghoon), some in the chair (Jungwon).
They asked me a lot of superficial questions, no one went into the substance of the talk, and we simply went over important memories of their journey as a band, infoing the confused fan me.
"What do your folks think?" Sunghoon asks, smiling at me, all of a sudden.
"They're dead." I answer, taking a long sip of beer.
I leave them all stunned, and rather pleased. My parents are not dead, as if they were, but I just wanted to shush Sunghoon who interacted with me only to put me on the spot.
"Excuse him, he's an asshole. He was born that way." He rubs his face, genuinely annoyed.
I pat him on the back, cheerfully.
Sunoo bursts out laughing, Jake and Jungwon follow with some embarrassment, perhaps uncomfortable with the joke. "Are you sure it's okay?" Jake asks again.
Sunghoon runs a hand through his hair, messing it up nervously. "Shit, it's not like you have to woo her. She signed a contract giving you the green light, you could fuck her here too, what's all this?"
How irritating this Sunghoon, and to say I liked him so much before. He seemed a bit mounted, it's true, but I didn't think he was such a bastard - although he may be the only one acting normal in this situation.
"Are you kidding about these things?" Jungwon asks, intimidated.
I look at him, he's quite cute, has cute dimples, too cute. I want to bite him. "There are few things I don't joke about."
"We needed a breath of fresh air in this house." Sunoo smiles smugly.
"Should we arrange shifts?" Heeseung asks very nonchalantly.
Everyone turns to him, he is the one who has uncovered the much-feared Pandora's box.
"We should, yes." Jungwon nods, briefly lifting his gaze to me, then lowering it again.
"What should we know? What don't you like?" The oldest of the band, Heeseung, asks again.
"Amanda, you won't be offended if I don't make my room available, will you? - He turns to me, Sunoo, still smiling, as if to tell me something. - I don't like to share my space, and my room is my kingdom, the only one I can have in this fucking house."
"I should... thank you, I guess." I sigh, embarrassed.
"Sunoo has someone, I have someone, too. It would be disrespectful..." Jungwon also sighs..
"So... That leaves me, Jake, and Jay?" Heeseung says.
"You don't consider me? You offend me." Replies Sunghoon, who didn't leave, just stood up.
"Come on, you don't even like her. You'd only bother her, you're also engaged." Puffs Jay, tired of his tantrums.
The peer, Sunghoon, twists his lips. "If she's here that means it's safe to fuck her, why shouldn't I? And anyway with my time I do what I want."
"Why do you talk like that?" Apparently sorry question, Jake.
Great, so he's going to keep breaking it, and I can't tell if I'm titillated by it, even, stomping on the wreckage of my feminist ideals being shattered by a moon too much like a pakistan artist never even seen, at least before the news.
"Actually...I'd be there, too." Says a deep voice, catching everyone's attention.
Jake thins his gaze. "You? What are you supposed to do with a girl?"
The youngest of them all, Niki, shifts his gaze annoyed. "Like Sunghoon, I am also entitled to my turn. It doesn't concern you what I'll do with it, that's for sure."
He keeps quiet, the young man, but when he opens his mouth he puts everyone on notice. Still, I get the impression that there's bad blood between these two, and I'd also be curious to know why.
We order takeout. I feel like a princess, I can order anything I want to drink and eat, also because from tomorrow I will have to stick to their food regimen, I certainly don't want to cook.
"You foreigners are curvy, huh?" Heeseung asks me as I finish my third can. These beers are strong.
"You can leave it if you don't like it!" I suggest warmly, a little drunk, though deep down I hope he doesn't; he is certainly among my favorites.
Yet I don't quite frame him, he looks innocent, he has the kind look on his face, but then he's the one who cares most about remembering what I came in here to do. Will he be a horny fool?
"It's not that I don't like it, it's just different."
"In Italy I'd be skinny, anyway." I say brightly.
Heeseung smiles, amused. "Oh yeah? And fat people are curvy?"
"You really want to do badishshaneing," I don't know why I just pronounced the word bodyshaming like that, but so be it.
"That's cute when you're drunk. - He says, moving closer to my face, and it's the first real almost romantic interaction so close to my face. - Remember though, you live with seven guys who haven't been able to express their sexuality normally for years, so, you do the math."
I nudge him amicably, with a confidence we certainly don't have, but I blame the alcohol. "If you do anything wrong I will tell Jiwon right away!"
"Are you friends that you call him by his first name?"
The conversation with him is so smooth that we keep joking, until the take-out food arrives. We sit at the table, I end up quite far from Heeseung, unfortunately, given the pleasant conversation, but in the meantime armed with pen and paper, during the meal, we start making notes on how to organize ourselves from now on.
Day 1
Jay, on his day I will be tidying up three of the seven bedrooms, making the beds and cleaning superficially, deep cleaning is still their problem.
Day 2
Jake, I will take care of the remaining four rooms.
Day 3
Heeseung, his is bathroom day, there are three in the house, but I will only take care of the main one, which is not inside the boys' rooms.
They all do that, once a week.
Day 4
Niki, general cleaning day. I will help around the house and cook, if necessary and if I feel like it.
Day 5
Sunghoon, although he was actually supposed to take some penalty that everyone forgot about, will be the day off from cleaning.
The days will repeat, and this way I will not disturb either Sunoo or Jungwon, who have politely pulled out. Sunoo said I can sleep over if I warn him, but even if I don't want to be with the others I can join him in the middle of the night.
"You know I'm not a problem for you, right?" Sunoo asks me, laughing with amusement.
I smile too, he is really handsome up close. "I suspected as much."
"I never tried to hide it..."
He is speaking veiledly, I am proud that I can communicate so naturally, in korean but especially with Kim Sunwoo. But why is he saying this to me? Does he trust me?
Even after eating, though very little compared to usual, the effect of the alcohol has not subsided, and the fact that they ordered soju does not improve the situation; in fact, it all starts to take a strange turn.
"Should we put on music? We are celebrating, after all." Proposes Sunoo, who continues to speak mischievously, or so it seems.
"We won't eat this stuff anymore." Heeseung comments bitterly.
"We should mark a list of things you don't like, so there won't be any problems while shopping." Jake explains, turning a thoughtful look to me.
I smile, am amused, this all seems absurd to me, plus they are far too kind. I have to say, though, that standing inches from Jake's perfect face is quite a generous reward. "I don't know korean food very well, but I eat everything in general..."
"It shows." Sunghoon comments.
Now I'm going to step on him, is that what he wants? I get up from the table noisily and point at him, menacingly, though everyone can see how I stagger.
"Are you done busting my balls?" I blurt, but judging by the way everyone stares at me, I must look really stupid.
"I haven't even started."
Jake sighs annoyed. "Sunghoon should have the tenth turn." He proposes, turning to Jay.
Maybe it is true that he is the leader in here. And it's strange to realize that.
"Yes, let's do that."
"So you prevent me from expressing myself, that's censorship."
"Nobody wants you to express yourself." Jungwon chuckles.
When the evening finally comes to an end, Jay, before escorting me back to my room, magnetically hangs the roster sheet on the huge fridge in their large kitchen. I wave to the rest of the members, now I guess I will have to fulfill my duties, but nevertheless, I think Jay will not ask me anything like that for the time being.
"How did you find yourself?" He asks me, closing the door.
Still being strongly tipsy, I smile naively. "They are polite animals, I think. Except for Sunghoon."
While I'm still talking, however, Jay lifts his wide sweatshirt, revealing his dry but well-trained chest, his broad shoulders, his beautiful arms perfectly outlined by muscles, and I can't help but continue watching such a spectacle.
"Shall I prepare things for you to take a bath?"
"A-Ah... - I realize that I stood as if dumbfounded before him - thank you! I can do it myself if you tell me what..."
"I'll take care of it." Sigh.
"You.... are definitely the more polite one."
"Don't get your hopes up, about me. I'm the same as everyone else."
"A good person would say exactly that."
I'm a flood of positive vibes, feeling really good, and I know it's partly due to the alcohol but I really felt good today. I should tell Ester all about it.
Jay approaches me as I sit on his bed, looking down at me with his eyes less kind, with the corners of his mouth lifting in a way that is anything but friendly. What, is he trying to scare me now? I don't think so.
"Are you in the habit of drawing your opinion from first impressions?" He asks me, his voice really warm, I feel like I can touch his vocal cords with my ears.
"No... it's just that..."
"You sound naive, though you desperately try to hide it."
"But..."
"And tell me, Amanda, what do you think will happen tonight?"
Silence, an honest silence accompanies his question.
"Why do you think I led the way into my room? - He still smiling, I stop, though. - You have more value when you haven't been touched yet, right?"
"D-Do I look like...a virgin?" I mumble, genuinely embarrassed and deeply offended, even stuttering.
"You've never been touched by them. You know... I believe that the method you told us about tonight can work well in bands where there is no deep-seated resentment among the members as a base."
"I-I don't understand what you're getting at." I did it again.
"I'll have you first, don't get me wrong, but - he tells me, so quiet, as he strokes my cheek and his hand is beautiful, elegant, warm. - I worked hard."
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || Trailer
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
I had prepared this trailer in my native language, but unfortunately it doesn't work very much since they prefer to read BL however I worked a lot on it, almost eight hours, I will try to republish it in english even though I know my english is really bad, thanks anyway if anyone will watch it!
READ HERE:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 3
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
PAIRING: FEM READER X ENHYPEN
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.
Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.
Do you accept?
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
READ THE FIRST CHAPTER:
"I'll wait for you to sober up a bit." Sighs Jay, laying towels on my arms doorways toward him.
I sincerely laugh, visibly nervous. "They call you mr. kindness?
"Look at your condition, doing it now…. - he tells me, lowering his gaze as he strokes my cleavage exposed by the plunging neckline of my humble t-shirt with his index finger. - It would be so easy."
"I don't have to if I don't want to." I remind him, dazed, now less by the alcohol than by him.
My breath is suddenly short, even though I'm not looking at his face I can see his neck, his pronounced jaw, the way his skin fills with breath, puffing up his broad chest, even too much seen so closely.
"True, but since you won't be able to refuse for another four days, I'd really take it - he explains almost in a whisper, as his fingers move over my neck, then pick up strands of hair to tuck behind my ear - on the personal."
"Not… care."
"Do you really want to lose your only ally here? In fact, the strongest."
I smile amused, isn't she going to have inferiority complexes or something? The situation in the house didn't seem that desperate at all, but it's true that I haven't spent even twenty-four hours in here and Jay doesn't seem like a fool to me, though, I mean…
I suddenly lift my gaze: shouldn't I think better of it instead? After all, I'm going to sleep with someone else sooner or later anyway, and it's not certain that "this" is intended as a bargaining chip for others as well - so if there really was a strange situation in this apartment, I could at least think of myself with an ally.
"Do you understand? You will give weight to my words when you see it."
"What's going on? I can still … try to get out of it…."
"That made you give up so quickly? And I was trying to persuade you nicely." He grins in surprise.
I shift my eyes in embarrassment. "You're putting pressure on me."
"I know." He says, and his hands begin to slide down my exposed arms. His touch is slow and heavy, I can feel every millimeter of my body under his fingertips.
"T-Then stop doing that."
"I think I will - he says. - If that's the situation, I should just take advantage of it, right?"
How? How dare he? First he offends me, then he calls me an object practically, then he decides to take such liberties, like lifting my t-shirt a few inches from my bra, and in all this, I don't react. It's not the alcohol, I know.
I can smell him perfectly, it's not perfume, he smells like a man. He hasn't showered yet, probably, but his fragrance is aphrodisiac as it penetrates my nostrils and seems to engulf me in a spell.
And to say they make a lot of memes about his hygiene - if only they knew how untrue it is!
Jay grabs me by the hips, lifts me onto the sink. Before he kisses me he looks at me, perhaps still seeking my consent, but my eyes are already full of him and I don't care enough whatever he thinks of me to pull back. I'm the one who instinctively pushes my lips against his, he doesn't pull back either, instead he tightens his tapering fingers behind the back of my neck, pressing my head against his face.
He bites my lips, caresses my hips, kisses my neck. I barely catch my breath between kisses, he's especially passionate, I don't quite understand what's going on but I feel like I'm on fire, like I have a fever. Deep down, I didn't think I could ever be in a situation like this, realistically.
To be able to see the pores of his skin, to feel his touch, to know what his lips taste like, it's all simply divine.
"Are you at least good at it?" He whispers, pressing his mouth to my ear as he clings to the elastic of my black leggings.
"Let's hope so." A shy tone comes out in my voice.
I hear him chuckle, it's pleasant, I don't know why.
"Hold on to me." He says, handing me his shoulders to which I meekly cling, he uses the opportunity to slip off my pants, I am left in my underwear in seconds. He looks into my eyes, then at my breasts, I feel it even fuller and more beautiful under his eyes, then he places his hand on my hip, grasping it.
"Don't… look at me like that." I whisper with shame.
"I like it to the point of annoyance."
I stare at him, feeling like smiling but for some reason not following my instincts. "Really?"
"I don't tell lies."
He unhooks my bra and caresses my modest breasts with his cheek. He bites the nipple rather aggressively, to the point that I gasp in pleasurable pain, but he abruptly uses his tongue to treat the wound, and only confused, stifled moans come out of my mouth.
"Really? From now on," I say, bravely sinking my fingers into his hair, clutching him to my chest for him to keep licking, to make me gasp like this, "if you tell even one lie, I won't believe anything you've told me."
"The all-or-nothing rule is fallacious, you know?" He asks, amused, as he sucks my breast, squeezes it, massages it.
I am completely defeated, voluntarily surrendering to his will.
After taking me in his arms like I don't weigh, he pushes me against the wall. We kiss again, and I am increasingly addicted. His kisses are impetuous, his tongue is expert, moving slowly, and as a few drops of pleasure slip between my thighs I can feel his fingers exploring my intimacy.
He puts in only two but they are enough to make me gasp again. I cling as if desperately, I don't do it on purpose, but it is hard to enjoy so much in such a position, and although his grip is firm and he holds me even with his leg as his swollen sex rests in my thigh, I still feel precarious.
He's different from all the guys I've been with; it's like I'm experiencing new sensations. It's not like I've never had a one-night stand with a beautiful boy, as in this case, and it's nothing more than that (aside from the fact that he is an established celebrity from one of the most famous bands in South Korea), sure, but maybe deep down I'm living every fan's dream of this guy.
I'm not a little girl anymore, I delude myself it's different but this situation is really dangerous, didn't the Hybe agents foresee this? I find it hard to believe that a rich, independent woman would still be able to handle something like this.
What if I became so infatuated with them that I wanted to ruin them? Well, maybe the Hybe goons would kill me.
But maybe that's okay, because then the woman loses so much value that she can never be anything to them - or even a problem for the company. What will remain will be the end of a delulu era and a few tears, but it will still be a funny page in my life, albeit a dangerously borderline one.
"I'll put it in, okay?" He says, pressing his lips to my cheek, he's laughing, still doing it.
I nod, lost in him now.
"You don't talk much, during…" He says, as I feel him rest his cock on my opening, then willingly let it slip a little between my large lips, which moisten it.
"I would just say - I moan, surprised to feel him enter suddenly and before I can finish the sentence, using my fingernails to grip his bare skin - obscenities."
"I want to feel them."
Man, man.
It's a little girl thing, isn't it? My heart is pounding.
I don't have time to notice because his pelvis literally punctuates the rhythm of my breathing, I feel him enter me with ferocity, it's as if he uses his whole body to pound into me, I feel full to my sternum.
I hold on tight, I don't want him to stop, I really don't want him to stop.
"S-Slower…" I try to say, slurring my words.
"And why?" He whispers amusedly, as if he already understood.
It sounds bad to say I'm desperate, doesn't it? I am desperate because of him, I never want him to stop, I need this moment to last longer, I want to feel him in my belly, along with the butterflies I haven't had in so long, he shakes them all.
He lifts me abruptly, to better weld his grip, but what I sense is only how he pulls his length out of me, inserting it again and abruptly inside me, trembling because of him.
My breathing is desperate, my gaze blank, he is desperate. He's not lucid either, I can see it in the way he squeezes his eyes shut, the way he breathes erratically, the drops of sweat that bead his forehead, too focused on the pleasure we are sharing.
Is the clock still ticking? I don't understand it, I don't know anymore.
"Ah… Jay… - I swallow, my mouth is full of saliva, like I'm hungry, resting my chin on his shoulder as his steady, assaultive strokes bounce me back onto him holding me by my thighs, resting his hands on my buttocks as he steals one kiss after another - more…more…"
"Please ask." He whispers so close to my ear again.
"Ple…please …"
He means it, maybe because I asked so pitifully, but he manages to go even faster than he has so far, and I don't understand how he doesn't sound the least bit tired after all this time holding me up.
I can't control my voice anymore, I feel him deeper and deeper inside me, the more he moves the more my breathlessness increases. It may be because he is a dancer, a professional, but what kind of stamina is this?
I can't even control my body anymore, I start to convulse, I need to stretch, he's going too fast, so fast I can't even hear my own thoughts. I see him take on a strange expression, very focused but also in pain. I am too focused on his beauty to realize it - ""luckily"" he notices and puts me down.
He's pulled it out, holding his majestic cock with his hand, breathing deeply. I am confused, guilty.
I was too involved to remind him that I take the pill on Hybe's orders.
I look at him wearily, as strands of hair dampened by sweat and the warmth of the bathroom, which normally shouldn't have such a high temperature without even having bathed, slip past my distraught eyes.
"Oh, what an ass." He says in a relieved tone.
"W-What?"
"I didn't want to come yet." He explains.
Yes, it's great, but I can't look away. What is… that stuff? Was it really that big? Is that why I felt it all the way to my sternum? Should I stop staring at it? I can't, anyway.
"Do you like it?" He asks, still holding it up and turning his body toward me.
Guilty.
"So what do you say…" with his gaze he points to his cock, big and veiny, perhaps the first I've seen of this kind, in Korea.
He doesn't say anything else, his smirk is enough for me to realize that I will bend on my knees, prostrate myself to him helplessly, it doesn't matter anymore who he is, or I am, there is nothing else in this moment, in the world.
It is strange, my heated skin makes contact with the cold floor but not a shiver. The heat is inside my body, burning like a forest has just been given to the stake, every inch of my skin is on fire because of him.
I can smell my scent mixed with his as soon as I take him in my hand, and as I languidly lift my gaze to his, Jay caresses my head. He doesn't push it, he doesn't need to, he knows I'll do what I can, I want my lips to be able to touch his pubes, although judging by the thickness and partly by the length, that will prove to be a tall order.
"Good." He says, as I begin to lick him, moving his hand from my hair to my face.
Why? That annoying fluttering again. No Amanda, don't let your daddy issues take over, deal with it in a mature way, don't brood over it.
I do what I can, it's not easy to take it all in my mouth, my hand tightens around the base, moving with the movement of my lips, for a second I swallow over half its length, and a second later I pull it out with difficulty, as lines of saliva build bridges between me and him. I want to go deeper, I want to have more.
I hear him moaning, differently than before, now he is not exerting any force, pressure, he is completely free to surrender to the pleasure and as he lifts his chin making almost guttural sounds, I can only continue, inch by inch, to have more and more.
Perhaps I don't want him to think me inexperienced, perhaps I want him to have a good memory of it so that I can once again take advantage of him, of his body.
When I suffocate, literally, because of him, I see him burst out laughing as gently pulls my head away from his sex. "You did good, now let me do it."
Did he laugh at me? I failed, I guess.
And so he grabs both my hips, spinning me around, this time my back is to him and I can't look at his face, a little sorry. At the same time, however, feeling him knead my ass, as his intimacy presses against mine again, reddened and swollen, because of him, erases all doubt.
"Are you on the pill?"
"A-Ah… - I stammer, continuing to do so in front of him, starting to annoy me - yes."
"That's great. You know, you shouldn't tell other people…" He advises me, though it doesn't have the dispassionate tone of a recommendation at all, but of threatening advice, as he plunges it into my humors, suddenly.
I groan, it's inevitable. "M-Maybe I will, m-m….maybe I won't…"
That no from me is enough for him to gather my hair, twisting it in his hand, tightening it like a rope, pulling it, but I feel no pain. "Now you don't beg anymore?"
He pulls me to himself, arching my back I can feel his size even more, inside my belly, inside my body. "No…"
Jay doesn't answer, at least in words, because he begins to charge animalistically into me, he is more comfortable, he can force his legs up and you can feel it all, the force I mean. My body bounces like lifeless on the rhythm of the song that produces his. Yes, because his every movement is music to me at this moment.
After long, intense minutes, what comes out of my mouth are inhuman verses, a mix of tiredness, weakness and total addiction. My body is devastated, because of him. I feel like convulsing, he holds me by the arms, I have my cheek resting against the now-warm marble of the sink.
I hear him gasp louder, then hold back, I know what is happening, I can feel it because my belly has just warmed up. After a long stream of warm pleasure inside me, Jay stays still, breathing or trying to at least.
I am exhausted, to the point that as soon as he slides out of me, I fall to my knees. I am devastated, physically as much as psychologically, because it hasn't felt this good in a long time, no, maybe it never has. It's a first for me, in a way.
"Are you… okay?" He asks me, as he lifts up his black pants, which have fallen to his ankles the whole time.
"Yes…"
"Really?" He holds out his hand to me, seeming to recover.
I still have his humors dripping down my inner thigh, but he looks at me as if nothing has happened. "Really."
Afterwards, he explains to me how to use the bathroom, we manage to talk normally, or rather, he acts normal, and this sincerely gives me the feeling of being a colleague, wanting to be nice. I spoke little, still in shock.
"If I'm already asleep when you come back, wake me up. I'll move."
"I'll try not to." I smile weakly, still tired.
"If you touch me when you sleep, it's okay. Just not too close."
"I'm not going to-"
He freezes me, puts a finger over my mouth, presses it so that I stop moving my lips. "Lock up, anyway."
When I walk him to the door, Jay heads to his room but I can't help noticing there's someone else across the hall, I turn away when I sense his presence closer.
"Have you started yet?" He asks, surprised but amused, I think.
"Ah…no. I mean-"
"Even if you are here for that, you could have waited a while."
I was wrong, I'm a pest to him, too.
It's not that I'm surprised, they may be handsome and famous, but they are men, and men are strangely too equal to each other, as if in an unspoken camaraderie. There will be different ones and there will be good ones, I'm sure, but I haven't met any yet, so they must be very few.
However, being a fan myself, I feel bad about it. I mean, it's normal for me to feel bad about giving such an idea to people I like so much. Besides, I had a different idea about him, I thought that he himself would be the least critical - but why did I think that?
At the very least, I reflect, seeing them like this will make the mystical and pure aura that hovers around them fade away in my eyes.
"I do what I'm here to do." I answer him, suddenly fearless, my pride is blatantly wounded.
"It was just a advice, why do you get hot?" Heeseung asks, laughing and moving closer.
"I'm not warming up."
He is one step away from me when he stops. "Don't wear it, I read it ruins tits." He advises me again.
I chase the direction of his gaze, right - even though I'm dressed I'm not wearing a bra, and judging by my nipples, it shows. "But…"
"You wore it before, didn't you?"
Now I look him in the eye, it devastates me but I try to maintain some form of dignity by remaining serious.
I am too embarrassed to realize how beautiful he is up close.
"What do you want?"
"I'm giving you another advice."
I step back into the doorway, not quite lucid enough for him to make fun of me, and no matter how much just looking at him makes me feel like the center of a tornado, he's annoying me.
Heeseung puts his foot in the door before I can close it. "You don't listen to advice, do you?"
"Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Actually, I feel my privacy has been violated by a stranger."
"Then ask them to send me away, maybe they will listen to you. You're quite authoritative, aren't you? You're Lee Heeseung."
He smiles, as if pitying me, but why should he? "By the way, you said you were a fan, who is your bias?"
Ah. I didn't expect this one, he really changed the subject, putting me in an uncomfortable situation.
Suddenly my hands begin to tingle and my body to boil-essentially, by spending time with Jay, I have normalized that these people in front of me are Enhypen, and that I am still obsessed with each of them.
Why am I blushing? Am I an idiot?
"I don't have it."
"Liar, you took a long time to answer."
"N-No, I mean it."
"Ah, you don't say that because it's really me?" He asks me, with an innocent expression and a dazzling smile, I seem to melt in front of him.
I giggle in confusion. "You wish."
"So you don't want to go against the others? Is that why you won't tell me? Look, I'm not a snitch."
Is he trying to convince me as if I were a child? Ah, that's annoyingly adorable.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because it seems like an interesting experiment. An engene, in our dormitory, to have free access to every member - she nods, raising her eyebrows convincingly, I continue to stare at the perfect shape of her smiling lips - she will try to conquer her bias, no? I'd like to observe him."
I laugh, genuinely. Can I believe that he doesn't know? Or is it precisely because he knows that he wants to observe him?
Conquer? But who am I supposed to conquer in my situation? It's hard enough to find a normal guy with an open mind, should talented kids who expect everything to be owed to them be?
"Are you kidding me?"
"Just a little." His laughter fades into a warm smile.
And of course, he knows.
"So why did you want to know?"
"Because I'm curious, by nature I guess."
"Then I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you'll never get an answer."
He removes his foot, not seeming at all impressed by my knockout response, but whatever, I close the door without even saying goodbye. Now that I am finally alone, leaning against the sink again, I look at myself in the mirror.
My heart is about to burst, my brain is the on the verge of its worst short-circuit, my muscles are trembling.
Did this really happen? All of this? With Jay? With his…body? And that fits into the korean standard? What about Heeseung? Wasn't he a little too handsome? I can feel it, at this rate I'll end up going crazy.
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 7
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.
Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.
Do you accept?
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
Jake and I spent long, long time together last night. I'm not sure how many times we did it, because sometimes, he didn't always come out of me before he started again, it became extremely natural after we showered together.
I can't deny that we had some pleasant moments, clearly, but I find it deeply wrong how keep thinking about it.
The way he sleeps is just perfect, to say more would be superfluous.
Jaeyun has gone out early, perhaps to meet up with that Kibum Jay mentioned last night, but once out of the room, I just look around. It is early, only eight, so I guess it might be nice of me to prepare breakfast.
Today I'll take care of cleaning the bathroom, but from what I witnessed yesterday with Jake, there's not much to do. These guys manage to get neat without too much mess, and it actually surprises me, I get the impression that they're not really like this normally.
I can't imagine an environment where more than three men live that isn't a mess, but these are gender biases, my bad.
When I reach the kitchen, still wearing the Jake's t-shirt, I find only two people in the kitchen, and honestly they are just the ones I would rather not have met alone. I could hear them giggling together from earlier.
They notice me right away, I see their eyes move quickly to my low-cut legs, then Sunghoon looks away as Heeseung looks at me surprised and amused.
"Did you sleep well?" The band ace asks.
"Where are the others?" I ask, nonchalantly.
Heeseung snorts pretending to be offended. "Everyone's gone out, even the owner of your t-shirt."
"Isn't it early?"
"Would 8 am be early?" Sunghoon asks incredulously.
I ignore him, will do so for the time being. "Did everyone have breakfast?"
"How nice - comments the other - she worries about us. Anyway Jay takes care of breakfast, however, I didn't get up in time."
That Heeseung was someone who likes to sleep a lot seemed clear to me, but who knows why Sunghoon is here? Surely he doesn't have something to do? That way I could try to get to know the third shift owner, maybe he's not so bad.
I thought that more before I saw him sneering at Sunghoon, who knows what for then.
"All right, then, I'll go." I reply, not knowing what to say during this long, awkward silence between us.
"Aren't you having breakfast?"
You make me laugh, Heeseung.
I definitely don't want to eat in the same place as Sunghoon, I'm not going to answer, that's why I have to avoid him -- I know very well that if he provoked me, I would give in right away.
"Not now." I smile forcibly, before turning away.
"Are you doing this because of me?" Sunghoon asks, in that deep, warm, sensual, silly voice of his.
I sneer, incredulous, glaring at him evilly. "No, I told you. My stomach clenches seeing such things."
"Says the half-naked girl in a house with seven men."
"Oh yeah? - I laugh, theatrically, but then I don't know what to say next, and I stand there several seconds staring with narrowed eyes at this idiot. - I didn't think you were so demure." I had to repeat the word several times, because I couldn't remember it in korean.
"Demure? Nah, I just like looking at beautiful things. You just take up space."
Heeseung surprised turns to his friend, then bursts out laughing. "But she's pretty, why do you say that?"
"You're a dumb too." Sighs Sunghoon.
Ah, so Heeseung really thinks I'm pretty? No, no, Amanda, don't trust that bewitching, glittering, blinding smirk, inside his eyes actually burning evil.
"You demanded your turn, though." I remind him, crossing my arms over my chest.
Heeseung covers his mouth as his eyes manifest his amusement. "How tense."
Sunghoon thins his beautiful big eyes, I left him dumbfounded for at least five seconds, plus Heeseung's joke. "It's dumb not to receive something he's entitled to. Besides, it seems fun to annoy you, doesn't it?" He asks.
"Ah, but then don't come out saying you're in love with me." I snort, confidently approaching the refrigerator to get a small bottle of water.
"The scenario you've been dreaming about every night since you arrived, right?"
"I guess fucking would serve you."
"Yah!" We shout in chorus, toward Heeseung, who dares to say such nonsense.
"You sound like a couple, how disgusting. No seriously, that's enough now."
A couple, me and Sunghoon? Ridiculous. Heeseung, this that you see between us is not sexual tension at all, its more a deep and sincere disdain for each other. I am absolutely convinced of that.
"I have to clear bath, use the others for now." I announce, starting toward the hallway again.
"Seriously, you should eat breakfast first." Reminds me Heeseung.
Spontaneously I turn away, but realizing I did it so quickly, I feel ashamed and turn around again. "No, it's okay, I never eat in the morning."
"Aish, it hurts you!" He says, like a concerned friend.
I smile amusedly, I don't know why but every second I spend in Heeseung's company increases my suspicion of him. He gives me the idea that he's a rather fake person, perhaps because our interactions have not been the happiest.
When I was just a fan, I had a completely different idea of him. In contrast, what I thought of Jay and Jake, we can consider sufficiently truthful. Of course, I did not imagine such a terrible personality of Sunghoon either, but that is another matter.
"What do you want to do today?" He asks me again, as if we had some kind of date.
I pretend to think about it for a few seconds. "Will you help me with the bathroom?"
"No way!" He mumbles.
Sunghoon smiles, making me a little strange.
"What would like to do? Don't you have appointments or..."
"Not today." He nods proudly, like a child.
"Dubt." Sunghoon says, in terrible english.
"I have a lot of games for the Play, do you want to see them?" He offers me all excitedly.
I am stunned at such a request, Sunghoon bursts out laughing, even.
"Did you think of anything else?" Heeseung asks, observing my all too clear expression.
"W-What? No, I mean, yes I want to see them. But then can I play? If not, I don't care."
This is the right way to go about things, Amanda, smile at life and it will smile back at you. I don't understand why it didn't work for the past 23 years, and I have no certainty that it will work in the future, but let's think positive - after all, this, a field trip kind of is.
"Do you like video games?" He asks me, with a genuinely interested look on his face.
I guess it's unfair to play like this when your interlocutor has no idea who you are, while you know much of his interests. However, your honor, I really like games.
After I moved to Bologna, kids my age continued to isolate me because of my south origins, it lasted for several years, not having an idyllic family situation I hid in the ludic competition. I had discovered some online games, such as League of Legends, and spent most of my money to buy whatever game piqued my curiosity, without considering those spent on skins... I don't regret anything.
My parents were well-off, and in that respect I can't complain, plus it was better for them that I just stayed in my room and played rather than bother them.
"Quite." I nod.
Sunghoon snorts wryly. "What, did you search on Internet to prepare for this question?"
"What games do you like?" Asks Heeseung, ignoring him.
"I'm master."
Heeseung's eyes literally sparkle as I say this, and it's adorable. "Really! And how do you play now?"
"I don't play." I reply with some obviousness.
"What?"
"I didn't bring my laptop, I didn't think I'd have time to use it - I explain, although in fact I was simply so flustered that I didn't think about it on the moment - do you want to see how a pro plays?"
"He met Faker." Sunghoon reminds me, getting up from the table.
"But Faker is a god, she is a normal person obviously disturbed to have made it to that level."
I feel like laughing, but I do it by covering my mouth: he's right, the guy is a god. "Actually LoL is disturbed."
"I am emerald! I can't get by cause I'm always busy!" He whines, please, you just stop being so cute.
"Maybe you're just noob."
"How can I be noob? I'm so strong, but you know, I'm a full-time idol..."
"Still noob." I confirm.
He opens his lips in surprise. "Yah! How dare you!"
"I'm off, see you later." I sigh, before drinking from my water bottle.
Heeseung calls me again before I can leave. "Do you want to go back to the apartment? Let's get your things."
I choke. The water goes down my throat and I cough so hard that some drops splash toward Sunghoon, why is he always in the way? He glares at me, moving away to avoid being hit by my saliva again.
"You idiots will get along - he says irritably, before approaching the hallway - you're alike."
"He's just saying that because you're pisses he off, sometimes he plays too." Heeseung explains.
I smile wearily. "I get it, I'll go clean up."
"You didn't answer." Reminds me the oldest of the boys.
I glance sidelong at Sunghoon, he's charging his cell phone on the kitchen counter from the outlet where the coffee machine is plugged, he hasn't left yet and I feel uncomfortable talking in front of him.
"Let's take the computer so we can play sometimes! - He means it, this guy who at first glance would really just look like a fool. - In the meantime, let's do shopping."
I'm surprised to hear him say that, judging by the way Sunghoon turns to Heeseung, he must be too. "You can't go to the supermarket."
"Yes, I can!" He whines whimsically.
"Are you stupid?"
"You went there too! I want to go!"
"Then go yourself!" He immediately replies.
I naturally break their lively exchange with a long sigh.
"The ramyeon can buy it by herself."
"But I want to choose the tastes!"
"Why are you justifying yourself to someone younger than you?" I ask, curious, turning to Heeseung.
He seems stricken in pride, but he does not give me the pleasure of confirmation because he smiles confidently shortly after. I cannot look directly at him when he does, so I am forced to lower my eyes.
"I'm not justifying myself, we're talking."
"Right, right." I nod, starting down the hallway again.
Sunghoon stands in front of me, preventing me from proceeding. "If you faint you'll say it's my fault, so eat."
On the contrary, I just can't avoid looking at him, even though there is perhaps more than six inches of difference between us. I feel tiny in front of him, I don't understand, it's like my head is spinning. I can smell him, I can smell that he has been wearing perfume since the morning, and this seems to completely intoxicate me, but positively.
I back away clutching my shoulders.
"I'm fine."
He doesn't answer right away, but then he sighs. "I'm serious."
I mumble incredulously, then quickly circumnavigate him. "Thanks, I'll go."
I rush into Jay's empty room and sigh worriedly. I said I hated him, and I was convinced I did, but I'm still not completely immune to his charms, I need to catch my breath.
I look around, everything is left as it was, I go to take off my shirt and change, I'm wearing plain stuff, but I like to be with my legs exposed and a loose shirt, so after carefully folding Jake's, clearly more emotionally valuable but also monetary, I go outside.
I plan to make it quick, but for good. Hygiene is important, given how many times I have used this bathroom before.
I wipe away every trace, I disinfect any surface we have come in contact with, I feel like a criminal but only because I am blaming myself.
Not because I have indulged myself so much as because I cannot erase from my mind the expression of pure pleasure from Jake's face. It seems to me something so precious that it's impossible for me not to want to appropriate it.
Clearly, these are just fantasies, I know, but it is hard not to be drawn into such a situation.
The house has all kinds of appliances, so after maniacally using the Dyson on the floor, I use the microfiber cloth to wash it. Eventually I am left with only the already clean towels to place under the sink, so I sit on the floor.
Who knows how long it took me, I don't think more than 30 minutes but I could be wrong.
I hear some footsteps coming from the hallway, they are slippers being dragged almost boredly, I don't recognize the walk but I'm pretty sure it's not Sunghoon's.
"Finished?" He asks, watching me from above, a Heeseung who can only be simply watched, silently even.
Amazed at such a vision about him, with his pink hair, wearing an oversized black t-shirt with white lettering, and black jeans that bandage his long, strangely full thighs, I can't help but stare at him. He's even wearing glasses, but how dare he?
After several seconds, realizing I cannot stay and stare at him, I cough clearing my throat. "Do you really want to go to the supermarket with me? But why?"
"Jay said you don't have a car and the credit card is not ready yet, so I should call a driver. Since this is my shift, and I don't have anything interesting to do, let's go together."
I don't know, I don't even smile, I simply nod but don't understand my own reaction. I'm sad about what, exactly?
"Then, I'll change." I say, closing the doors and taking one last quick look around, everything seems fine.
"In Jay's room?"
"You ask because you don't know?"
He doesn't answer right away, smiling goofily as usual. "Then, I'll wait for you."
I change quickly, lucky I took two showers last night, so no need to wash. I put on a red pleated skirt and a short, low-cut top, I'm really hot, wear a chocker to look a little alternative, and then partially tie up my hair, uncovering my face better. When I come out, Heeseung is standing in front of the entrance with his cell phone.
He lets me be the first one to pass and I find it gallant, although come to think of it Sunghoon did too and I found it rude.
"You really don't have anything to do?"
"Nothing interesting." He replies, waiting for the elevator to arrive.
"And I'm interesting?"
"Definitely singular. - He says it quickly, smiling amusedly and serenely. - I didn't think there was such a thing."
"I guess it's because Niki is now of age." It comes out spontaneously, but then I turn in surprise to him, who strangely has no reaction.
He lets me go in first, again, I can't help but stare at him the whole time, so much, he doesn't give me a glance and I feel safe, in his shadow.
We get to the parking lot, surprise, he even opens the door for me and I find myself catapulted into another dimension, please stop, Heeseung.
This must be his "rizz."
"What music do you like?" He asks me, after he starts the engine.
"Not the one you like." I answer again too spontaneously.
He turns to me for a few seconds, completely offended. "Excuse me?"
"I read that you like The Weeknd, I can't stand it. It's a drag."
"Excuse me?!" He asks, even more upset.
At this point I can't help bursting out laughing, it's exactly how I expected he would react. My stomach hurts, I can't take it.
You obviously have fucking taste." He replies after not taking it at all personally, no…
"That's why I like you so much." I nod, wiping away my tears.
I don't know why, but I see him look at me and then turn away again, without saying a word, then sigh. "How many songs do you know of him?"
"A few, enough to let me know I don't like his genre."
Flabbergasted, Heeseung reaches for his cell phone and I become alarmed. "I'll let you hear now, talk later."
"Watch the road!"
"You put it on, then." He sighs, throwing his cell phone between my legs, since I can't catch it on the fly, I pick it up later, there is the Youtube Music page, despite having an Iphone.
I find it quite strange to hold Heeseung's phone in my hands, yet this is certainly not the most absurd thing, as I find myself looking at his perfect profile, he's facing the street. As I said, he's wearing eyeglasses, it is a light, thin frame that moves perfectly with his face, and they enrich it.
"Do you understand?" He calls me, after saying the name of the song.
I was so focused on him that I didn't even hear him. "E-Eh? I didn't understand the pronunciation." I make it up on the spot, going back to look at the phone screen, which, however, went off!
Heeseung repeats the title but also notices that I panicked, so I softly hand him the phone. "Sorry, I made him turn it off. Just put the code."
He grins smugly. "Ten zero four."
Wait? Did he just give me the code for his phone? Since he's going to change it right after that, why not just enter it himself? He didn't bother with the road before I said it.
Even stranger that the code is the date of my birthday. What an amazing coincidence.
"Why did you tell me that?" I ask, genuinely surprised.
"Because it's more convenient, no? And on the way back you can put it in the music."
All right, I think I understand Heeseung a little better. While he can't avoid hiding what he is in heart, he persists in treating me like a fan, he is attentive and thoughtful, he does trivial things that would nevertheless make any girl fall in love, it's his way of posing, but I have my doubts that he's really like that, inside.
The song starts and I turn out the window, I can see Seoul flowing before my eyes, yet my mind keeps looking for Heeseung's profile. Honestly, I am too tense to focus on the song, plus I think my senses, my tastes, are momentarily altered by his presence. I do not feel the usual revulsion for the xanadian artist.
Aware that I'm not at all clear-headed, I defer my considerations.
"Where are we going? And why are you dressed so well? Have you a mask?"
"In what order do you want me to answer?" He asks me.
I smile, hiding on the other side. "At your leisure."
"First let's go to the best ramen store in Seoul, then we might have lunch somewhere, then we'll go to your place and get the laptop."
"You have a pretty clear idea."
"The perfect date, right?"
I laugh, how could I not, "Maybe next life, Heeseung."
I hear him chuckle too, and I smile again, as if my heart has suddenly warmed up. "I am dressed so well because I always dress well."
"You'll attract attention."
"I would do it regardless because I'm tall."
"Why are you so sure you won't get paparazzi?"
"Because I know where I'm going, certainly not to an ordinary supermarket like Sunghoon. Besides, I'm wearing a mask, you worry too much."
"You literally have pink hair."
A moment of awkward silence intersperses our lively exchange of banter, then I hear him sigh.
"I hide them under my hat."
"And how do you hide your ears? They're pretty iconic."
He looks at me shocked again. "Would you stop?"
"What did I say? I think they're pretty. - I admit, without thinking much about what I'm saying. - If it were me seeing them, though, I would recognize you right away."
We enter a private parking lot before he answers me, after several seconds I realize that maybe he is ignoring me and maybe he has changed his mind about today's program. It's okay after all, even if he gets upset, I care about the band - being a fan. Seeing Heeseung with a girl around Seoul could be a blow to the fanbase.
"Do you find them pretty?" He asks me when is finished parking, unbuckling his seat belt.
I, confused, do the same. "Yeah, sure."
"Do you want to touch them?"
Gasp, jerking back on myself and backing toward the door with my shoulders, not sure why I reacted so animatedly. "W-What?"
He lowers his head in my direction, closing eyes. "If they're cute, touch them."
I admit it's a bit very awkward this situation, however, my hands reach toward him anyway. I can feel the cartilage between my fingertips as my fingers tremble like after thirty coffees, I like this feeling so I don't realize I'm continuing to do this, it's like petting a puppy.
When I next realize he's about to start laughing, I pull away abruptly, upset.
"Do you have heartbeat?"
Clearly.
"N-No."
"You do." He gets back up, quickly adjusting his hair.
I can't retort, I don't have the guts, so I go to open the door but see him grab my wrist, I paralyze. "W-What?"
"Can't you see?" He points with his gaze at some ladies who are passing by the car. I meanwhile have lost about ten years of life.
I know, I know, it's strange for me to be surprised after all that's happened, but still it's another person, a person who makes me feel particularly nervous, plus he's not even as nice as the others, so I'm in a strange and precarious situation.
"I told you didn't have to come."
"Jay's list is long. Could you have brought everything without a car?"
"You could have called a driver."
"What about the credit card?"
"You could have made a wire transfer."
"I don't trust you with my credentials, what if you're a hacker?"
Through it all, he still hasn't moved his hand, and I so motionless that I can't even turn to face him, I simply look out of the car, where the two well-dressed and groomed middle-aged ladies linger looking at the car through the tinted windows. They are evidently commenting on it because it's expensive - sometimes koreans really can be like those in dramas.
I move my arm, he looks surprised.
I really feel like I should stay as far away from him as possible. The way he acts scares me, in a way, he seems completely fake.
"I told you I had nothing better to do."
"You could have stayed with Sunghoon, honestly you could have done ten other things."
"Aren't you glad I came for you?"
Again, the words hang in the air, though they seem to weigh quintals. I don't know what to say, I don't want to show too much vulnerability, but the vibration of his voice, his touch, his mere presence completely alert me. I am also full pervaded by his scent that has completely filled the car.
"I didn't say that, it's just that.. I don't see a single reason why you would make such a choice." I try to explain calmly.
He turns his strangely thoughtful gaze toward the ladies in front of the car, then sighs. "I have half idea, but it's just curiosity."
But what does that mean? What is he saying? Am I misunderstanding myself? Do you want to see that my korean is not so good, after all?
"Curious about what?"
"Never mind. - Sigh, looking at them impatiently, the ladies, who have decided to start converse right in front of the car. - Think of it as a gift from me."
"Would the gift be your company? - I ask wryly, using this time to observe his magnificent profile again. - I don't think they would recognize you anyway."
"I'm famous among milf, too." He nods with conviction.
I look up annoyed, I guess that's his real personality. Unlike Jake though, I don't find him cute at all, he creeps me out. In Jaeyun's eyes I saw insecurity, shyness, a certain need for approval, but if I look at Heeseung I see only a disproportionate ego and a lot of desire to slap him (in every sense you want to imagine it).
"So what do we do in the meantime?"
"We could kiss."
"What?!" I feel like screaming, to the point where maybe even the ladies can hear me since they look around surprised.
Heeseung curls the corners of his mouth before bursting into an irresistibly sensual laugh. "How can you react so timidly after what you did with the others?"
The saliva I was swallowing, perhaps desperately trying to lower my body temperature, goes down my throat and I start coughing on his dashboard, quite close to death. My vision is blurred and my throat has closed up, I want to strangle him right now, but I have to try to survive.
"Are you okay?" He asks, but he doesn't really seem to care.
I wipe away the tears as the coughing slowly subsides. "What did you expect me to answer?"
"Like. 'okay, let's start'."
He must be such an asshole after all.
"Okay, let's start." I say, laughing nervously as I look out the window at the car parked next to it.
Heeseung grabs my face with both hands forcing me to turn around. "Okay, let's do it."
What? My face goes up in flames, I feel like I'm not thinking straight anymore. He is staring at my lips with his beautiful bambi eyes, there is nothing innocent about it, it almost looks like a demon is holding me in hell to keep me from moving. The truth is that my body is not moving, but he is not applying any pressure. He has only brought our faces closer so that they are separated by very few inches.
When he bursts out laughing, I realize that he has been making fun of me, and I, like a fool, really believed it. When he pulls away, unable to hold back the laughter, I am paralyzed, unable to control my reactions at all. I am disappointed but also embarrassed.
I look away, putting myself back in my seat, stiffer. "You must be having a lot of fun."
"Indeed I am. By the way - he resumes speaking normally, as if he hadn't just broken my heart - did you like the song?"
"No." I say it without even thinking about it.
"I wonder if you would have responded like that if I had kissed you."
Should I get out of the car and chase these women away? I can't breathe, this car seems to get smaller and claustrophobic every second, Heeseung's constant giggling is getting on my nerves.
"I guessed you weren't a good person." I say, still tense.
"From what?"
"From the way you were snickering with Sunghoon."
Heeseung crosses his arms inside the back of his head, really relaxing. "We've been close from a while."
"He were close to Jake before, no?" I ask, reverting back to my old fan self for a moment.
He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, then back to the ladies in front of him. "How do you know?"
"During an interview - I remember that moment perfectly and it seems so strange to me now that I know Sunghoon's real personality, or what he shows anyway. - He said Jake was the member he was closest to."
"Amazing how things change, isn't it?"
"And why did they change? You seemed close, even though…"
"Even though?"
I let out a long sigh. "No, nothing."
"You grow, you change. Although have my doubts that those two will stay apart forever." He admits, surprisingly in confidence.
"Jake is too good to be with someone like him." I say instead, as if I've known them all my life.
"As a matter of fact… it's true. Do you have a soft spot for Jake?"
"A big soft spot." I answer, satisfied.
I have the impression that openly declaring my preference might annoy him, that's why I do it.
It's not even that far from reality.
"Change of plans - he announces, putting the belt back on and starting the car - let's go to your place for now."
"To get the pc?"
"Maybe get something else to wear too, I get the impression you only brought sloppy stuff."
What insight this guy has. I brought almost only clothes to stay at home or run errands, assuming I wouldn't need to take fancy or sexy stuff, in fact, the opposite. I didn't really think about it while it was the first thing to do!
"I don't have any japanese maid dress." I joked, nervous, putting the belt back on.
"Do you have any purple underwear?"
"What?"
"If you don't have a maid outfit, purple underwear is fine too."
Is he serious? The confidence with which he pronounces his nonsense really makes me want to throw him off some bridge.
"I'll wear Jake's t-shirt,woolen socks, and my ex's boxers that I use to sleep." I reply.
"Yah, you don't sleep in my bed in Jake's shirt."
"It's definitely cleaner than your whole room."
He seems annoyed by my saccharine tone; I couldn't be more pleased. I cross my arms over my chest, smiling smugly.
"Where is your apartment?"
Actually, being us now in Hongdae, a much more affordable neighborhood of Seoul frequented mainly by students, being there a major korean university, full of cultural centers, bars, clubs, we are quite close. It is precisely in this area that Ester and I have taken up residence.
I explain it to him, he understands absolutely nothing about it, so he orders me, literally, to put the street on Mappe. I don't have the strength to fight this war as well, so I simply do it.
"You can stop here." I say, when it is still a couple of meters to the entrance of the building.
Heeseung slows down and looks upward, then looks around. "There's no park here."
"Pull over somewhere, I won't be long."
"I'll go up with you."
"No."
My response is really quick, so quick as to be blatantly alarming. He turns toward me curiously, I desperately avoid his gaze for fear of betraying myself.
"Why not?"
"No need, I'll make it quick, really." My tone of voice is more docile, almost submissive, it's as if I'm trying to convince him.
He smiles. "No, I'm coming too. I want to see your room."
Absolutely not. He can't.
Searching for a park, I think well it's time to unbuckle my belt and search in a desperate attempt to get out and run in, before he can reach me, so as to erase any trace he doesn't have to end up before his eyes.
In my room there is too much information about my tastes, there are too many things an idol should not see from a fan. Therefore, the absolute mission is to escape.
It's not so easy, however, because Heeseung stops me from my arm, his long, strong fingers gripping it almost completely, preventing me from going outside. Then he presses the safety catch so that I cannot open the door again.
"What are you hiding?" He asks me, now obviously more curious than before.
Not only have I failed in my plan, but I've made the situation worse.
"There are girl things you shouldn't see."
"Why do I get the impression you are lying?"
"I'm not lying."
"Then I promise I won't be shocked."
"I don't trust your promises."
"It should surprise you just to hear them."
Seriously, I never assumed that he might want to come up to my house, that's why I was so calm with the idea of coming back for things, moreover accompanied by Heeseung who has the car. Seen from the outside, it looks like a win-win situation.
He puts on his mask, puts on his hat, after parking. We enter the building, immediately take the elevator, and all I do is think.
Thinking of a way: a way to solve.
I could hit him on the head and hope he loses consciousness, or accidentally lock him in the bathroom, but how do I convince him not to go into my room right away? Effectively, he doesn't know which is mine and which is Ester's.
By the way, Ester! I don't even know if she's at home, if she's with company, I'm literally bringing a guy, a famous one, into the house, without warning her.
I pick up my cell phone, call her, she answers quickly.
"Amanda! Did something happen?" She asks me, in Italian.
"Listen…are you home?"
"Huh? Yes, why?"
"I'm on my way up now…I have company…"
Ester says nothing for several seconds, as if she were organizing the little information I gave her.
"WITH WHO?!" She suddenly shouts, I am forced to pull the phone away.
"Your friend is a quiet one, isn't she?" Heeseung asks me, hearing her scream.
You wouldn't know it but…. "Yes, she is."
Surely she's not the type to go around saying she's met Enhypen or going to rat me out about my situation, however, I can't be completely sure, given how many times I've trusted the wrong people.
"He's actually at home - I suddenly say to the singer - just can't let you in."
"So what? She's not happy to see me?"
He's right, she would be very happy. "Amandaaa? - She calls me, from the phone, in a sweet, fake little voice. - Who is heee?"
"Listen, I need your help - I say, turning to her and away from Heeseung, who can't understand anyway since we are speaking in italian - I have to go to the room, alone, you must absolutely neutralize…. Heeseung."
Still silence, still long seconds of total absence of noise, then she bursts into a thunderous scream that can be heard even outside the apartment door, since we have reached the fourth floor by now.
"Are you kidding? I'm getting naked!"
I look annoyed at Heeseung, who understood perfectly that my friend was screaming for him, seeing how he snickers, then snort. "Do whatever you want while I go to the room. Anyway open up, I'm here."
Ester opens immediately, standing still in front of both of us for at least twenty seconds. She continues to stare open-mouthed at Heeseung, even though he is completely covered.
"Let us in…" I whisper, embarrassed.
Ester shifts like a robot, her soul has left her body. "P…P…Please…."
After entering, and looking around a bit, Heeseung removes the mask and I see Ester's eyes light up as if with divine light. I think she's about to cry and I can't blame her, after all she has no idea what it's actually like, but that wouldn't be like her, she's probably holding back her worst scream.
"P-Please I am E-Ester!" She says, taking a long bow as her voice escapes robotic.
Heeseung arranges his hair behind her forehead and then leans toward her, helping her up by holding her from the shoulders. "It's okay, there's no need to be so formal."
"Oh, my, god." My roommate tries to breathe.
I smile nervously, commenting in italian. "Did you see how bello (handsome) he's up close? Sickening."
"Bello?" Heeseung asks, catching this word, from the speech.
Ester looks at me, I look at her, let the plan begin. "Oh god! I'm such a big fan of yours, I never thought I could…. - she doesn't even make an effort to cry, but I know very well she's faking it, she's too adrenaline to start crying in such a situation, it's more natural for her to scream. - Oh my god, I can't believe it."
Heeseung smiles at her. "It's okay, it's okay. - He says, stroking her hair. - Do you want to take a picture?"
His voice is different he is kind, appearing dispassionate and sincere. It really gives me goosebumps, however, there is no better time than now to peel away, and so I do. I back away slowly, wait several seconds, until I reach the door to my room, enter in a millisecond ready to close the door behind me.
Oh no, again, again Heeseung's stupid shoe blocking the door.
"Do I look stupid to you?" He asks me, trying to peek inside.
I move frantically to prevent him from seeing even a glimmer of my room. "Go to your fan!"
"But you're my fan, aren't you?"
Oh no, Ester, what have you…done?
I see her peeking out behind Heeseung's back as he makes the gesture of prayer and forgiveness, what could she possibly have said to him in the half minute I used to reach my room?
I stare at him for long time, silent, not knowing what to say and so dazed that I no longer concentrate on forcing in the door, in fact he takes advantage of my stun to open it.
Oh no, oh no… OH NO.
He walks in like he's in some fantastic place, looks at the posters I've stuck all over the walls, and can't help smiling with great confidence.
"That's why you didn't want to…"
"It…was before I met you."
Basically, I have posters of all the members, it is true, however I have a few more of someone in particular, and they tend to be almost all on the headboard of the bed.
In the center of the composition is a giant Heeseung, surrounded largely by Jay and Jake, in contrast the other members are on all the other walls.
"Do all these posters of Jay really exist? Are they original?" He asks me, curious.
I face down. It was my fault, I know, I should have calculated it. "They are not all original, but they do exist." I answer under my breath, deeply and genuinely annoyed.
"Do you buy unofficial stuff? You don't, look…. but then mostly you choose Jay's stuff?"
I look at him, surprised. Is this really the first thing he asks me? Did Ester really say something strange? Why was she apologizing?
"I don't see the problem." I mutter.
"And why do you have so few posters of me on this wall?"
"There's a giant one."
What the fuck are you saying Amanda? Are you going against yourself?
Heeseung bursts out laughing, I pale.
"Your friend's bias is Jake and Jay, yours…is me?"
"No, I told you I don't have it."
"Ester said otherwise."
HOW COULD SHE THINK OF SAYING SUCH A THING? Okay, let's calm down, after all, it's nothing serious….
"It's things said like that, I also said I would like to marry Sunghoon and Sunoo."
"You don't have literal, giant posters of them, though." He says, reminding me of my own self-goal.
"Okay, you've seen my room, now get out, you'll make Ester happy-"
I don't have time to finish the sentence that the roommate opens my room door motioning me to reach her for a second. No, I can't leave Heeseung alone in my room, yet…. ah, whatever, the damage is done.
"What the fuck do you tell him it's my bias?"
"I did it for you, maybe he falls in love! You move and invite me to the wedding!"
"You betrayed me…" I say with an edge to my voice, as my eyes drain of their humanity.
"It's less absurd than what's going on - says she, who can't stop laughing - please, it's beautiful."
"He also has a gigantic ego."
"Anyone in his position would have that."
"That's not an excuse."
"Listen, I have to go to work - she explains, in fact, now that I notice, she is ready dressed - next time you have to bring Jay, or Jake, please! No but what am I saying, bring them all!"
"I'll try." I sigh.
Ester gives me a kiss on the forehead, then goes to my room: Heeseung, as I suspected, is looking at my albums, in the cabinet where they are displayed there are other things, like laminated photocards neatly placed in small frames, gadgets, there is even their lightstick. Do I look like some kind of saesaeng probably? Or I'm too old for this?
"See you soon Lee Heeseung." Ester says, bowing again.
The boy, however, approaches when she is up, he pulls her into a warm embrace that I witness in disbelief. "Call me Heeseung, we are friends now."
Ester is deceased, blatantly, not moving, not breathing, not seeing probably. Even Heeseung worries, seeing her paralyzed, I hit her on the back, not too hard but enough to bring her to senses.
"I'm leaving, yes. See you soon, He-Heeseung." She says, quickly, running out.
We remain alone, the awkwardness turn again. I know he's about to drop a few more bomb that I won't be able to handle, so I start to gather some stuff inside a backpack. I avoid his gaze but also dialogue; I don't know when and how this awkwardness will end, but I see it coming.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I don't."
"You keep denying it? - He laughs with relish, the bastard. - You definitely would have gotten a few more points if you had told me."
"I don't want your points."
"Apparently not."
I feel like shouting so loudly that I break his eardrums, ripping that smile off his face. I didn't think that the most irresistible thing in the world, to me, would also become the most irritating and unbearable thing. Even more than Sunghoon's entire person…. or not?
"Ah, I get it! - He exclaims, suddenly looking at me. - You didn't tell me so you could fuck them all."
"I can do that even if you're my bias - I reply quickly and recklessly, proudly - even if you're not!"
"You admitted it! Now I'm telling everyone!"
He says this by pulling out his cell phone, I don't know why but this upsets me. Does he really want to text everyone to tell them it's my bias? It's childish, absolutely ridiculous.
I have to stop him.
I snap up, try to take the phone from his hands but he only has to lift his arm to stop me. I'm not that short, but I can't even get close to his hand.
I try anyway, or rather, I try to make him bend his arm to take the phone, but what happens is simply that my breasts, covered by the top, slam against his broad chest. Through it all, he seems to stare smugly at my expression.
This is not good, Amanda. I freeze, turning back defeated; this contact has destabilized me.
"Why don't you want them to know?"
"Because…" I seem to answer in a rush, but the truth is I don't know how to continue the sentence.
Or rather, there is a reason why I don't want to, and his name is Jake. I absolutely do not want, for any reason in the world, for him to know such a thing. But I also don't want to admit it.
On second thought, I could always deny it….
Breaking these vaguely positive thoughts is the figure of Heeseung photographing the wall of my bed.
"Yah! Are you a child?!" I call back to him visibly angry.
"Come on, why can't I?"
"I don't want Jake to know."
I'm honest, I couldn't help it. He is surprised, but maybe not surprised enough, so he goes back to photographing the wall.
"I came good here, didn't I?"
"I got it for this."
"Jake came good in this photoshoot too, you should have taken his if you care so much what he thinks."
"You're a bully, I didn't expect that." I sigh, going back to sorting out my stuff.
Again, he probably don't care, and maybe they all do. What the fans think, remains only fantasies, the people we imagine behind the cameras are actually quite scary, as humans.
"I'm not a bully." He seems to continue my sigh, his voice is different again.
"It sounds like you are to me."
"It's not like I really did." He mumbles offended.
"Will you?"
"It bothers me that you want to know."
What kind of reasoning is that? Of course I want to know, the real dilemma is why should he be bothered by it? And why does he want to do it? Is it really worth it?
"Telling others would put me at a disadvantage, while for you it would just be a flex."
Heeseung looks at me, feeling his eyes on me. "Does your friend know that you slept with both of her biases?"
I roll my eyes in irritation. "Not both, but I'll tell her."
"Doesn't it bother her?"
"She knew why I was hired, there's nothing weird about it, and she's not so childish as to hold a grudge against me over something like that."
At my statement, the pink-haired boy remains staring at me.
"I thought it was even worse between girls."
"In the past, Ester, she also dated an ex of mine because she liked him aesthetically. Don't categorize us as if we were ordinary friends."
"And it didn't bother you?"
"Why should it? We weren't together anymore, plus we're very open-minded."
Heeseung strolls around the room, continuing to observe. "I wouldn't be able to."
"Because you consider people objects."
Perhaps I am too abrupt in saying this, but I am also too tired, too vulnerable, to try to protect myself.
"Don't girls like it? Feeling owned by their boyfriends."
"Only the most naive ones." I explain, getting up and grabbing my backpack.
"Are you done?"
"I have to get the PC from over there."
He follows me in silence, I pick up the charger, the headphones, the laptop.
"Do you have any ramen?"
"What?"
"Some ramen."
"I guess so, why?"
Heeseung stretches, looking satisfied. "Let's eat here."
"No way." I deny.
"But why!" He whines like a wayward child, stamping his feet.
"These are Ester's things, i don-"
"You pass boyfriends but you're afraid she'll get upset over a little ramen?"
Checkmate, Amanda, I guess.
"Isn't your house nicer? Why do you want to stay here? The air conditioning doesn't even work."
"No problem - he exults, taking off his shirt suddenly - all fixed!"
I try to shut my mouth relatively quickly, then turn around. "You're like a mental ill, aren't you?"
"What kind of ramen flavors do you have?"
Right, he's obsessed with ramen, I can't tell how many times he's mentioned it in less than half a day. Okay, fine, but he remains shirtless. Help?
"I just don't get it - I sigh, setting my bag on the floor and turning toward the doors to see what the house offers - what's so interesting about being here?"
"When you live here, you are a normal person. I want to see what you're like when you're normal."
My God, how? How can I not turn around to stay staring at him after hearing something like that? Shirtless, I still remember it, by the way. His expression seems sincere, for the first time, perhaps because he is not looking at my face and seems uncomfortable with his own statement.
"I found out you're in love with me, that's something I wouldn't have found out if I hadn't come to your house."
I laugh robotically, annoyed again. "In love with you? I find you slightly cuter at best."
"That's 50 percent of falling in love."
"Actually, if we're talking about beauty, I think Niki is the most handsome. - I start talking, as I search the counters for any kind of ramen to bring for him to choose from, I don't understand why Ester has them scattered all over the equipped wall. - Then there's definitely Jake, then Jay."
"You don't have a giant poster of them though, that means you liked more than just my looks."
Again, Amanda? Really, whose side are you on? You should just avoid the speech.
"The voice, I really like your voice. - I say offhand, although I'm not lying, I really love his voice. - You're talented and you've even taken care of some of my favorite songs, so…" I make an effort to get to the bottom of the door, to the top shelf, I know for a fact that there are more packages there.
Something hard, long and thin, rests on my back. Yah! What are you thinking about? I'm talking about his abs.
His abs?!
I don't understand what is going on, he is practically crushing me with his body against the kitchen counter. I realize only after a few seconds that he has picked up the packages for me, him reaching there without difficulty.
Still, since he has picked them up, why doesn't he move? I turned away convinced that he would take them off, but eventually I find myself two inches from his face again, and it's not that I don't want to, but I just can't look away from him.
His eyes turned back to my lips, the perfect curve of his nose, his naturally magentate lips….
"If you tell me what you like about me, I won't tell anyone." He whispers, looking into my eyes this time.
Impossible not to swallow, as my throat becomes more and more parched. "R-Really?"
"Really." He repeats in an even warmer voice.
Why does he have to be so close? Can't I explain it at a proper distance? It's not easy to think when in front of me are his shoulders, his collarbones, the muscles of his long neck pulled like violin strings, when in front of me is Lee Heeseung.
I boldly lift a finger to his face, touching the tip of his nose. "I like when eat naturally in front of the camera. - He was the one who first erased the distance between us, so why shouldn't I touch him? That's my right. - I like the fact that you take music seriously, I like any way you sing. There's nothing you can't do when you sing."
I move my finger along the curve of his nose, he is surprised but does not push me away.
"I've always been fascinated by naturally talented, brilliant people, and I saw that you were and you are meant to shine. - I continue, avoiding looking into his eyes but focusing on the various details of his face. - I like whatever you're wearing - I admit, laughing to myself for being so shallow right now, then move my fingertip over his Cupid's bow, moving it slowly over his lips. - I like the shape of your mouth, I like your smile."
It doesn't surprise me all that much that he hasn't interrupted me yet; after all, I'm practically singing his praises, anyone would want to hear them.
Moving my finger to lift my other hand, I take his glasses, barely slipping them off. "I like you when you don't wear glasses - I put them back on him - but I also love it when you wear them."
Even so, though, I start to become uneasy because of his silence. The fact that he looks at me so intently makes me think he feels pity for me, or something like that.
"I like listening to your voice - I say after all, removing both hands, - when I'm sad, I put on your covers because your voice automatically makes me smile. I realize it's silly, but that's simply how it is."
"Are you making this up?" That's the first thing he asks, suddenly staring at me seriously.
"Ask any other fan, they'll tell you the same thing."
"I'm asking you."
My heart beats in an abnormal way, if I'm on the verge of death I'm okay with it, it seems like a worthy ending for a life like mine.
How did I get lost in his big dark eyes? How did I get caught between his body and the counter?
"If I said yes, would you believe me?" I ask.
Heeseung seems about to answer, but then evidently changes his mind. He decides instead to kiss me - yes, you read right. He kisses me, cupping my face in his large hands and kissing me.
I am kissing Lee Heeseung.
It is a surrender from the very beginning.
His lips merge with mine not able to resist him anyway. He grabs me by the hips, lifting me up so that I sit on the counter, then goes back to holding me by the cheeks as he assaults me with his kisses. Not rough, like Jay's, nor sweet like Jake's, Heeseung's kisses are dirty, perverse.
He knows how to move his lips slowly as he plays with his off-white teeth, leaving me little bites that sting. His tongue seems to melt in my mouth, I love the way it swirls around mine.
"So we have a secret now." He says, after slowly pulling away from me.
"Really?" I ask again.
Heeseung grabs my cheek again, this time though, he uses his thumb to pull the corner of my mouth, then does the same with his other hand on the other side.
"Show me tongue." He's ordering me to, it's obvious.
I have no idea where my dignity has gone, but it probably went completely astray after the kiss. I do it, in front of him, but I can't look at him in the process, it's too embarrassing.
"You are obedient… with other as well?"
I don't answer; I don't have to.
He sneers. "Then you really are. Is it because you like fucking so much?"
But what does he do? Does he just start saying things like that like it's nothing? Although I could catch a better glimpse of his character, I didn't make him one for dirty language in bed.
"Answer. Do you like it, fucking?" He asks, leaving the corners of my mouth to grasp my tongue with his index finger and thumb.
I look at him, this time, he reciprocates. "I love it."
He opens his lips, almost not expecting it, then closes his eyes for a second, smiling contentedly.
"Who fucked you better between the two of them?"
Why does everything have to be a competition? I've been with different people who had different approaches, equally valid, I really don't want to answer that question.
I bite his fingers, forcing him to remove from my mouth. "Both of them."
Heeseung laughs. "You're lying again." He says this by taking the same fingers with which he has been holding my mouth as he licks them.
Okay, okay, let's calm down. I said let's calm down.
"Why don't you want to tell me? We would have another secret. Don't you want another secret to share with me?" He says this by pushing the two offending fingers back into my mouth, and it is spontaneous for me to let him do it.
My saliva is mixing with his and I don't feel the slightest disgust. Although I suppose I would have been more excited if I hadn't realized that the one in front of me is deranged.
"I don't think I should trust you."
"Then it's true that you are awake."
Yes, that's right. Say it louder!
"It doesn't matter, I already know what you would have said anyway. - He says, taking me in his arms like a princess, unexpectedly. - I'm sure it's Jay."
I swallow, upset. "Jake is good, too."
"But it was better with Jay, wasn't it? - He continues quietly, dropping me on the big couch in the living room, while up, from above, he starts unbuttoning his jeans. - You like him because he seems to care about you, besides the fact that you liked him before, right? Since you think he is sincere, you feel more attached to him."
I swallow again, he's bothering me again. "You don't know anything at all!"
"One thing I know - he smiles, looking at me as he slowly lowers his pants, enough to expose the lump hidden under his black underwear - after today, you will no longer have any doubts about who fucked you better."
If you start out with this premise, dear Heeseung, perhaps you have no idea how good your companions really are. I don't doubt that you may have your own style, but they were just too good.
"Aren't you going to undress?" He asks me, surprised.
"I'm waiting for you to do it." I answer boldly, but I should stop him instead. Why dont I stop him?
It amuses him, but he'd rather be the first to get comfortable. "That's fine with me, too."
He grabs me by the hips, forcing my back to him. I rest my palms on the back of the couch as I feel him lift the folds of my skirt and then rest his large palm on a buttock, I have a shiver running through me from the tips of my toes to the last millimeter of my hair.
"Wow, it's so round." He comments, kneading it.
"S-Stop it!" I stammer, like an idiot, completely embarrassed.
I don't understand how I can be so awkward around him, when last night I was practically about to attack Jake. Is the fact that I like both dominating and being dominated, or do I just not have a personality? The last one would explain a lot.
Or maybe, it depends on the person in front of me.
"Why? Are you not enjoying it? - He asks, leaning his 'presence' in between. - Yet your panties - says, slipping a finger between my skin and the thin fabric of my panties - are soaked, how embarrassing."
I can't take it, it's too embarrassing, I'm not used to hearing him talk like this, honestly. My muscles are trembling because of a strange adrenaline coursing through my veins, yet I feel helpless, I feel like I am from the start completely at the mercy of his desires, and since he doesn't inspire me any trust, this makes me apprehensive.
Slipping a finger in, I gasp.
"Come on, don't pretend." He tells me, in an amused tone.
I hold back yet another groan, playing his game, but feeling mortified soon after. "What?"
"You mean to tell me you moan like that for one finger? Then what are you going to do with two…" He says it, he does.
Then he starts moving his hand faster and faster. I can't help plugging my mouth, closing my eyes in fright. He goes fast and makes me gasp, but I don't want to do it, I don't want him to make fun of me, I don't understand what's happening to me. I cling to the couch as his beat has begun to go too fast for me to contain my breathing. I feel my fingernails scratching the faux leather of the sofa as my back arches more and more, facilitating his movement.
"Go…go…slower!" I try to say, between groans.
Laughing, behind my back, he laughs again. "Are you pretending to be shy? Then you'll make me angry…"
How does his voice, with such sweet notes, sound so warm at this moment? I want to make him angrier, I admit, but if I asked him to slow down it's because I really need to get used to this speed, to the thickness of his five fingers, which 'definitely' aren't but seem to be.
"Slower!" I say, before letting out a yelp that I stifle with both hands as he continues to increase his speed.
"Why? It's only three fingers."
Really? I turn around with difficulty, although I'm practically bent over in front of him, looking at him to make sure his expression isn't sarcastic as usual.
"Do you really think I'm using my whole hand?" He asks, pulling them out; they are all but thumb and little finger, and all three are completely covered with my humors. He shows it to me, and I feel really stupid.
Not because I thought it was the whole hand as much as because now he must surely be thinking that I did it on purpose, that I said it as a pretense, to pretend… better not say what. Why is doing it with him so degrading? And why, despite this, am I already enjoying it so much?
Meat is meat, but I'm not sure it's worth it with someone like him.
"Did I hurt you?" He then asks me, since I don't answer.
I sit in front of him, not sure I want to go on, despite everything. "You'd make fun of me anyway, if I said yes."
He is surprised, I see him lift his chin uneasily as he looks away in annoyance.
"Answer."
"No…" I lie, sighing wearily.
"Are you sure? - Don't act worried, Heeseung. - It seemed-"
"I'm fine - I nod, not sure why, but I don't feel like seeing him worried, even if it weren't true. - We can continue if you want-"
But what does he do? Does he kneel down? Why is his gaze so focused? It's as if my body is being x-rayed, I can't move because of the anesthesia Heeseung seems to have given me. I could never move, as he looks at me like that, so intensely, I have chills.
"Even though I hurt you, you couldn't wait to continue, right? - He asks me in a whisper, stroking my abdomen with a finger, while his lips graze my groin and my skirt partially covers his face. - I'll help you heal."
"N-No! - I say instinctively, grabbing his head, finally managing to make contact with his hair and getting stuck for a moment. There is not a single reason why I should stop him, so why am I doing this? - Wait."
He doesn't give a shit, evidently, since his tongue has already found my other lips, the lower ones. Oh my God, there is no way I'm going to repeat something like that ever again in my life.
What is happening? It's as if an angel with cotton candy hair is abruptly leading me to heaven. It's so beautiful that I can't think of anything else.
First hell, and now heaven.
"Oh my God." I say, in italian, sinking my fingers into his hair.
Of course, he can't answer, I just feel him pushing between my legs to make me open them further. Why is he so good? Why does he put so much effort into it, if he is not the one enjoying it? I assumed that, in my position, I was the one who had to put they in the effort, and that's all.
"Lee Heeseung!" I seem to call out to him, he raises his head curiously and alarmed, finding me with a distraught, distressed expression.
"Ah…do you want to get right to it?" He asks, as his lips move in contact with my skin.
No need to answer, I push him back against me, panting more confidently as he hastily leads me down the path of pleasure.
"Mamma mia…" I say, nonchalant.
"AH!" Shouts Ester, who I can see is standing exactly in front of us.
"AAAH!" I shout back, surprised.
"AH!" Heeseung also joins us, who foolishly grabs onto my skirt to cover his face better.
I burst out laughing, Ester doesn't dare. "Please pretend that-"
"Omo, did my career just end?" He mutters between my thighs.
"No!" Rushes at us confused Ester, who then backs away.
I push Heeseung away, but he doesn't foul this time either, making himself look very prepared. "Mia carra (my dear) - improvises a terrible italian. - Nothing happened." He attempts denial.
Ester keeps shaking her hands in front of chest to reassure him but the idiot panics. "I won't say anything, really, but is it my turn next?" The red-haired girl asks with natural spontaneity.
My jaw drops instantly, he smiles, what are you smiling at, you jerk?
"Anytime."
I let them flirt through as I adjust my clothes, what a situation.
"Rest assured, I'm not telling anyone seriously." She reassures him.
Heeseung looks at her for a few seconds in silence, he's thinking about something, then gives a big smile and goes back to pretending. "Thank you so much! Mia carrrra!"
"I just came back for the phone - she explains, visibly nervous and undecided about what where or when to look, often to all these things the answer is Heeseung's chest. - Please stop speaking italian, it's horrible."
"Yah! Are all foreign fans like you? I was making an effort."
"First - Ester says, taking her phone from the kitchen counter - call me noona, second…is that what you were talking about?" She asks me.
The giggle that escapes my lips sounds damn fake. "What? What are you talking about?"
"Don't tell lies, you can't - she advises, waving as she sets off - have fun. See you soon."
"I like her." He nods, saying it as soon as Ester has closed the door.
"I know, I'd like to be with her if I were a man."
"You could have any woman and you would choose your best friend?"
"What's that got to do with it? Are you stupid?"
We continue bickering for a few handfuls of seconds before his phone rings, interrupting the mood. I guess that's how it ends, but I can't say it went badly.
"What are you doing?" He asks, seeing me get up.
I look at him surprised. "Huh?"
"Are you done, by any chance? - He looks resentful. - Is everything okay since you're done?"
I cover my mouth as a soft laugh escapes naturally. "I'm sorry… do I look like I'm done?"
"Ah, aren't you finished?!" He continues, further outraged.
I pause to observe him for a few seconds, I don't know why but I get the impression that this reaction is genuine, and it's strange, because it's the first time I've sensed it really. He notices that I'm staring at him, but he doesn't say anything, on the contrary he shifts his gaze suddenly embarrassed.
"We should go home." I advise, as he re-buttons his tight jeans with obvious difficulty.
"It's okay, I don't care."
"Don't be like that, I'm pretty tired. Too many emotions today." I further explain, picking up two packets of my favorite ramen noodles to put on the stove.
"Shall we eat here?" He asks me though.
"Do you find it comfortable? We can do that."
Why am I acting like this? Why am I humoring him? Why do I seem to feel a protective desire toward him? I also feel that behind his goliardia is just a little boy, perhaps one too gifted to know how to handle. Despite this, I also get the impression that he might stab me at any time, in whatever sense you want to interpret it, once again.
"Which… - I see him approaching restlessly. - Which one are you cooking?"
"A rather spicy one, that should do." I say, without looking at him, too busy at the stove.
He sits on the stool at the kitchen island, leaning on his palms. "You know a lot about me, don't you?"
"I know a lot about all of you."
"But I bet you know more about me."
"You're wrong - I reply, turning away - I'm not that kind of fan."
"Why do you keep rejecting me? Yet I'm so nice to you. - He sighs and pouts. - Why are you mad at me, by any chance?"
"Because…"
You don't look real, get it?
I put some condiments on the table, fortunately Ester has become perfectly accustomed to korean cuisine, so I don't have any big problems. Having plated the ramen, Heeseung looks like a child looking around with natural curiosity, or like a wild animal observing its environment with natural fear: a deer, indeed.
"Aren't you going to answer?" He asks, although his gaze is completely focused on the bowl where I have collected all the ramen, which I place in the center of the surface, amidst the condiments.
"Why should I?" I feign mystery as I sit across from him.
"Thank you for the food!" He gives thanks, picking up his chopsticks and looking at the dishes in front of him with that splendid smile, despite the fact that they are objectively nothing much.
"Make yourself at home."
"I will."
The meal begins quietly, Heeseung is too focused on the food, me on him, who is awkward and spontaneous as he stuffs his mouth, who smiles sincerely when he has finished scooping a mouthful of ramen into his wide, lovely mouth.
"I like this brand, but I've eaten it a few times."
"How come?"
"This is a poor's brand."
Completely surprised by his statement, I stand still for a moment. "Oh yeah? I thought you liked the mini-market stuff." I explain, justifying my reaction.
Heeseung remains staring at me in silence, for the umpteenth time, I blatantly uncomfortable cough. "No, I like expensive brands."
"I should have guessed."
"When you try those kinds of products - he says, putting a pile of enoki mushrooms in my bowl - it's hard to go back to liking that stuff. - It makes sense, I realize, but I'm still confused that he would give me such thoughtfulness. - What are you thinking about? I don't like enoki mushrooms."
"Ah - I exclaim now with clearer ideas, picking up some of them - that's fine. I like them."
Lunch continues in a strange silence for a few seconds, then I see him pick up the bowl with both hands, to drink the broth. This spontaneously makes me smile, because it is very honest behavior, though not exactly approved by occidental etiquette.
"Glad the meal was to your liking, Lee Heeseung."
"Don't be so formal." He feigns shyness.
I smile again, unable to stop. "Do you want to eat this too?"
"No, if I get fat you will buy Jay's giant poster. I'm doing you a favor - he laughs, satisfied, then looks at my plate - but why aren't you eating anything? Don't tell me it's really because of me? Sunghoon's?"
"No - I wipe away all his doubts with my hand, relaxed - it's just that I haven't gotten used to all this yet. My stomach is completely shut down."
"Even the first night, you decided what to order but ate almost nothing, instead you just drank. Are you an alcoholic? I imagine less attractive alcoholics."
I really like this atmosphere, it feels so spontaneous. Heeseung has a sweet voice, it's nice to hear him talk, I imagine I could do it for hours and it's amazing to be in front of him while he simply exists. The feelings since we left home have changed so many times that I feel a tornado of emotions inside me.
"Could I be?" I ask, feigning thoughtfulness.
"Really you should-"
Getting up before I can finish the sentence, he freezes, in turn. "Shall we go? We're in the middle of the date now."
In the end, Heeseung is very different from how he introduced himself, almost giving me the impression that he is calmer than he wants to appear. His company is pleasant, and strangely he is not so annoying, yet he still doesn't convince me. But why?
"What if we order takeout and simply go home?" He asks me, after evidently thinking about it for a long time.
"Why?"
He looks at me, not answering.
"No, I told you I'm retiring. I'm tired."
Wait, Amanda, are you rejecting Lee Heeseung? And when did we agree to that? What exactly is going on?
"What?" He asks, but I wonder too.
"I don't… I don't feel like it, but we can play, though. I'm taking the laptop for that."
He looks at me again, then sketches a confused half-smile. "Ok, let's do it."
Oh no, I get it! Your tactic is much more devious, Amanda.
NEXT CHATPER:
TRAILER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 9
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
NOTE: okay, I see where I'm going wrong--I guess I write chapters that are too long......... until the 11th chapter will continue to be a bit long but I plan to start writing less from the 11th onwards…..
TRAILER:
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution. Your body in exchange for paying off your debt. Do you accept?
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
ATTENTION: this and the next chapter will be pov heeseung, so from his first-person point of view, I hope not to cause confusion ~~
"What do you care what I saw?" I ask, seeing Amanda walking away.
Sunghoon also follows her with his gaze. "Because you made me curious."
"It's nothing."
"Then I will make her tell me."
I'd say it's time to end it, he always goes around her, yet we've been intime for so short a time that logically I should cultivate this friendship.
The truth is that before now, us could not stand each other, we could not be more different but also constantly compared with each other, like trophies to show off or war over.
Competition was inevitable.
However, especially after we both moved away from Jaeyun, we found a common enemy and that brought us closer.
I still don't know if I am comfortable with him, but certainly his sense of humor is interesting, I cannot deny that. Nevertheless, he seems to me far too full of himself, far too convinced that he knows everything about life, and also far too reserved about his family and his life.
We know about his relationship more because it was impossible not to notice, but in four years almost nothing has transpired.
Despite this, I wanted to give him a chance, but is what he does normal? If there was anything I was counting on, it was that he, the host girl, did not care.
Why is it so important, you ask? Simple matter of supremacy, I really mean it. After all, I don't even know her, and the conditions in which I met her are nothing short of terrible.
I am not interested in her, but I want her to be interested only in me. I think that's basically what everyone wants, except for Jay, who just giggles softly with Amanda's friend. Maybe he doesn't really care anymore.
"Just leave her alone now."
"Don't bust me ." Sunghoon replies, without thinking.
After all this time, how can he not think for a second to give me such an answer, to me, who am also older, for a girl he is not interested in? Inverosimilar. "Really?"
"You need to leave her alone, asshole." Ester gets up from her chair, which is smoking.
"What?" Sunghoon asks surprised.
"What does it look like to you? She has also suffered in her life, you don't need to bother her too. Why don't you go bother someone else?"
Sunghoon looks at her puzzled, then smiles nervously. "Do you know what your beloved Jay did with her?"
Ester throws herself at Sunghoon and looks as if she almost wants to attack him but Niki grabs her by the hips, easily lifting her up and preventing her from doing so. "Noona!"
"Put her down!" Beomgyu says, annoyed.
"Such manners." Comments the ice prince.
"I know everything about Amanda, you know absolutely nothing and you keep talking."
"Go apologize." I tell him.
"What?" He looks at me sincerely in disbelief.
"Yes, go apologize." Jay repeats.
Sunghoon looks at us angrily. "Are you kidding?"
"Are you a child? - Yeonjun asks. - You must have made her cry."
"You're the one who did." He snorts, slowly backing away not entirely convinced.
Well, I was the one who said he should do it, and he's doing it, so why don't I feel satisfied? It seems obvious to me that Sunghoon has a thing for her, so won't they simply end up being alone? Of course, I don't expect her to fall to him, after all, there were my posters and Jay's posters, and she has a soft spot for the latter, but she managed to reject me, so she'll reject Sunghoon too, right?
And if not? Aren't I objectively better than him? I treat her even better, so there is no way for her to fall in love with him, right?
Ever since she arrived, I've done nothing but observe her. She doesn't seem to have a strong character, but she still manages to stand up to people if she puts her mind to it, moreover, she also doesn't give me the impression that she is completely naive, even though the conditions she is in would say otherwise, likewise sometimes she has passionate and sincere looks like a child's.
However, it is no coincidence, in my opinion, that our host is a fan, let alone that she collaborated with Hybe, before coming to us. It cannot be a coincidence, and I have evidence in favor of this thesis: she is really beautiful.
She looks like a foreign model, she has exactly everything in place, and when we met her, despite her sloppy, unkempt air, we all could see how beautiful she was. In Hybe, to be an host, certainly needed such a figure, a fan would not hurt her band, maybe they play on that as well. However, I got the impression that they were already keeping eye on her.
"He finally went there." Beomgyu says, breaking the silence.
Niki smiles amused but also uneasy. "If they take so long, let's get them back."
"Are you taking care of her?" Amanda's friend asks.
I look at her. Why am I surprised? That's actually what a good friend would do as soon as has a chance, but why am I glad she has someone who cares about her? Hasn't too little time passed? What do I care? It won't be because Ester said she suffered a lot, right? I'm not that empathetic, seriously.
"Not enough." I say, but it is not what I had thought.
Yeonjun looks at me, then bursts out laughing. "How long have you been living here?"
"Three days." Niki laughs, too.
I seem to blush, but in the end I'm just annoyed. "Why?"
"I understand it makes your head spin, her body… is wow." He admits and annoys me further.
One thing is to divide her attention among my band members, it's another to what Yeonjun is talking about.
"Calm your spirits, you. I ask you to treat her well." The girl continues the speech, looking at me, for some reason. As if she were not courting and idolizing the asshole who had Amanda first.
"The problem is evidently Sunghoon." Comments Soobin concerned.
"In fact, I don't understand why they sent them alone together again." Responds the japanese boy.
Right, why did we do that?
"Again?" Yeonjun asks.
"Wait, you also have a host?" I ask surprised, connecting the dots.
Riki nods. "Indeed!"
Beomgyu chuckles. "No, what is it?"
"It could be me." Ester, who perhaps thought she was speaking italian, is perfectly heard commenting.
Jay glares at her. "What?"
"Nothing."
They are right, but why did I send him to her? I go to follow them but I hear Yeonjun laughing and honestly it's not that I'm that into him, today more than usual.
We used to be really close, but then he suddenly became detached from me, even though we were trainee together for years, even though we trained together, he simply get away.
I later learned from Minho of STRAY that Yeonjun was going around saying that Enhypen was really an experiment, but a really macabre one. Beautiful and empty, he would say. According to Yeonjun, especially me, I didn't even have a personality. I didn't hear him say that, so I can't accuse him, but why don't I find it so unlikely?
After all, he was the first one to walk away after the first world tour. I thought I had a special relationship, but apparently that wasn't the case, and the shame I felt in imagining such a pathetic thing makes me frustrated to the point that I can't stand it.
"What are you laughing at?" I ask him, even though he is older than me.
"You have changed so much, Heeseung-ah."
Everyone's eyes immediately shift to us, is he challenging me? And how should I act? There's a girl here anyway, I don't want to be rude just because of that. "You too, I miss you so much, hyung."
"Why doesn't it feel real?"
I'm just wasting time, right? I move my hair nervously behind my forehead and then smile amused.
"Are you finished?"
"You used to be much more educated. Who knows where you'd be now if you were with us."
Jay, seeing me suddenly and extremely vulnerable, despite the fact that we are still very distant affectively from each other, stands up, turning to Yeonjun. "I don't like what you're implying."
"Maybe I should have this talk in front of the girl he likes, a host to boot. It's funny, isn't it?"
Beomgyu holds back a laugh, Soobin wearily rolls his eyes, but is amused, unlike Taehyun who remains serious, albeit with his eyes downcast. "What about yours? You've kept her well hidden." I remind him.
"We know how to protect her." He replies, with a superior air.
He says we don't know how to protect her from Sunghoon? And is it so important to protect a guest? I am undeniably, terribly, pathetically attracted to her, but that is all. I should carry on a war for what? What good would that do?
"Suit yourself." I reply, this time me, feeling superior.
"Hyung, you're overreacting." Niki turns to Yeonjun, to whom Beomgyu puts a hand on his shoulder, as if to calm him down.
"See, I just find it funny. Do you guys put up with him? He's nobody and he's already acting like that."
But what's going on? Why can't I answer?
"To be compared today with you sumbaenim who debuted two years before us is a great honor and achievement." It reminds him of Jay, so impeccable when it comes to protecting his nest.
We may stop talking to each other, but I can never stop appreciating that about him. He never shows our internal rifts, never to anyone, or at least that's what it seems to me.
"You guys are good, but I mean, don't you give him too much space?" Yeonjun asks.
My Achilles heel, basically. "Yah! Won't you stop?" Soobin calls him back, realizing that the joke has gone on too long.
Jay seems on the verge of replying, but this time I'll do it myself. "You're so great, but you keep getting scared because of a nobody."
The perfect moment. Striking exit: we've got it. Now we just have to find those two. I check in my room but I didn't imagine they were there from the beginning, not even in Sunghoon's room and being that she has her things in Jay's, I try there and actually hear voices, for that, I don't open right away.
I open more slowly and quietly, seeing them both on the balcony with the door thankfully open. She is up, standing in front of him.
"Don't you get tired?"
"Ask me on your knees."
"What!" She raises her voice.
What an asshole. Do you want to see that I got there in time? I knew he was a creep after all, despite dating the most beautiful girl in Korea, not exactly my type but certainly remarkable, in the end he just wants to do the nasty stuff he wouldn't ask his girlfriend!
"If you kneel in front of me, I won't bother you anymore."
"Really?" What is she doing? Does she believe it, the dumb?
"Ninety percent."
"But what does that mean? You are the worst."
"If I said one hundred percent would you have done it?"
She doesn't answer right away, you can tell she's thinking about it, then coughs. "No."
So… are they simply joking? I'm annoyed as hell.
He keeps being an asshole, bullying her, but she keeps forgiving him - do you want to see that in the ranking after Jay is him? What if he was even before Jay? That would mean I wouldn't be the first, and it's absurd just to think that, isn't it?
"Don't dress like that anymore." He tells her in a low, almost friendly voice, just as I had decided to go inside. I quickly close the door, leaving a crack in the door just enought to see that he has stuck a finger in the suspender of her little purple dress, exactly purple, because I asked her to.
"I don't care what you say."
"Look I'm saying this for your safety." He answers even more softly, but I can tell from his lips.
"Weren't you the one who would never sleep with me?" She teases him, as if he were simply a friend - are we kidding?
"In fact, I never will, but just because of that, I'll be meaner."
But how can he be so cool? I'm not interested in guys, I guess......... but if I were interested in guys, I'd probably be having an erection right now. That means you she definitely getting an erection! No, much worse!
The slit between her thighs may be wet, between her full, rosy-colored but olive-colored thighs, while that skirt so short makes it easy to imagine what's hiding under…. shit, now I almost have a boner for real.
"Are you done? Let's go over there." I call them back, sneaking into the room, I have to react before I get completely hard.
Sunghoon is annoyed but she's looking at him, why do I feel annoyed? "Are you following me everywhere?" He asks me.
"You were taking too long." I answer quickly, stunned.
Amanda now looks at me, surprised. "Are you okay?" She asks me, her tone is concerned but why am I mad at her?
"Why?"
"Are you… strange?" She asks, and I am even more irritated.
I don't understand what she means or even care, I'm offended, disturbed. I just want Sunghoon to walk away and to shut the fuck up. I don't want to lose this competition, but inexplicably he is beating me to the punch with an absurd strategy.
No, I shouldn't be thinking like in a video game….
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"All right." She answers, looking distracted again.
She was focusing on me, why did I answer her so badly? "It's just…"
Sunghoon interrupts me, motioning for us to leave. "Let's go before Jay notices we're here."
Of course, now that I'm here you're in a hurry, right Sunghoon? That's okay, it's better after all, I don't have to worry about anything, in fact I'm not worrying about anything already.
I follow them to the kitchen, they are uncomfortable with each other, the one out of context is me, like a third wheel and this really bothers me. Also, it's not like I have all that much desire to spend time with the sumbae, especially Yeonjun, who will now purposely target Amanda.
I admit that I have not behaved as well in the past, as when I practically stole his chick. Jiwon from AESPA, we texted and saw each other a few times for quite some time, but she was also dated Yeonjun, so she ended up having to choose, and for some absurd reason she chose me.
I know he didn't really care about her (after all, she was too much for me as much as for him), but so also that losing to me must have infuriated him. At this point, believing that I like this girl, he will not waste his time bothering her as he has done so far.
"Are you all right, honey?" He asks her, as suspected, in a low voice.
Ester gets up to walk toward her friend. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, sure. I felt a little dizzy."
"That's why you shouldn't have smoked." Sighs Sunghoon.
"Is there any more? - Amanda then asks, looking around. Since Yeonjun seems to have prepared another one, she smilingly hands it to him. - Thank you oppa!"
We all freeze, except for the person directly concerned.
Did her just call him 'oppa'? Why was I giving her such a indignant look? She doesn't even notice anyway.
Beomgyu bursts out laughing, Niki and Soobin too. I'm not laughing, however, and it doesn't make me laugh. Clearly, Yeonjun is older than me and her, since we were born the same year, so while me being the oldest in my band will never be able to hear her call me that, he, a complete stranger….
What am I saying? I too am a stranger and she is a stranger to me. That's enough, Heeseung.
"You are really childish." Responds Sunghoon who seemed to expect a similar reaction.
"Mine is better, isn't it? - The older from the other band asks, looking at her in satisfaction. - I'm sure it's the best."
"I don't understand the quality at all, it looks the same to me." She admits.
Ester takes it out of her hands, bringing it to her mouth and taking a pull. "Let's see…. no, better Niki's."
"Yah! - mutters Yeonjun amicably, looking at her amused. - You make me look bad."
"I'm trying very hard indeed." She responds in kind, handing it back to Amanda and looking at him.
"And why is that?"
"You are worse than Sunghoon. I'll let only Taehyun be nice to Amanda."
The friend chokes. "What?"
"Why are you putting me in the middle?" Sunghoon snorts.
"Because that's how it is. Stay away from her, only Heeseung and Niki can be near her, and Taehyun."
"And Jay, and Jake." Sunghoon continues, unable to live a second without arguing with someone.
Ester doesn't seem like the type to let it go, but you can tell she is tried by it. He keeps repeating her and she is losing patience.
I'm irritated too, I keep imagining her without clothes together with Jay…together with Jake…enjoying, under their eyes.
"Why did you invite him? He's just annoying." Sighs Soobin.
"This is my fucking home." Sunghoon remembers.
Ester looks at Amanda, our host sighs wearily. "Aren't you going to say anything?"
"I will ignore him."
She says she hates him, can't stand him, and wants to ignore him, but when they are close, the tension between them seems about to explode, and that doesn't sit well with me.
"What are we going to do?" Jay changes the subject, with the calm expression of someone who can no longer stand this atmosphere.
"We should drink something better." Beomgyu replies.
"Heeseung-ah, why don't you bring something good to your hyung?" Yeonjun asks me with a smile.
That's not a bad idea; I could spit in his glass.
"Are you sure?"
"Now that you ask, not so much."
"Should we go to some clubs? There are girls there." Soobin proposes
"No way. No going out." Replies Jay.
After all, they should think about protecting themselves too. We don't go to any clubs for this, we only gather at intimate and safe parties, which are usually held in private villas. It's too dangerous, and Jay knows that.
Right now we, paradoxically, are more at risk than they are. We don't know what such a scandal would bring, and we've been through too much already, with Niki ending up in controversy I don't know how many more times, without even a real reason. He, has caught the attention of the newspapers from the beginning, probably because he is Japanese.
Although to this day my relationship with him is not idyllic either, he is still a kid compared to me, I feel like I have a duty to protect him from these situations. However, if we are talking about affection or blatant demonstrations, no, they are not for me, also because he is so arrogant. Since he has realized that he has the complete support, in spite of everything, from his fanbase, he has also realized that he is unstoppable and indispensable.
With or without us, his name already carries weight. Not that it doesn't for many of us as well, but how many of us possess his talents? Its completeness? And what would Enhypen be without him?
I know, we didn't make it easy for him. We were tough, when maybe we were just too angry and tired, there was no reason to make things harder for him -- but in a way, that's what we were all facing, a little bit at a time, like in a battle royal.
And let's not talk about Jay, who has suffered and probably will continue to suffer. Jaeyun, and others, even myself, have been hurt in so many by sterile and nasty polemics. It was not easy for anyone at the end of the day.
Niki, however, was younger, more naive, more vulnerable, more foreign.
don't cry, please
Perhaps the one who came out almost completely unscathed is Sunghoon, the lucky one, as if he were from the beginning the main character. But not in this life, Sunghoon, you know. Amanda said one thing right: I was born to shine, and although there are many stars, there is always one brighter one: that one, I want be me.
As for Yeonjun, the goal now is to prevent me from getting in trouble in front of Amanda.
Yet I am still angry, envious, yes, I am.
I've been working hard for years, no, to be honest we all have, we work nonstop for months, there are periods when we can only go home to sleep, but despite all that, it seems to go nowhere. They scream for us but vote for others, and they might understand if we were just and simply beautiful, but we aren't.
Our music is good, our composers are the best, we are very good, but then why does no satisfaction come?
Hearing fans screaming my name or completely losing their voice even if I make a particular movement, that's good, but not fulfilling. The world tours, are you kidding me? I'm really glad for that, but what is it that I miss? I also want major collaborations, I too would like to be challenged, I could try writing songs on my own, without any ego-inflated asshole looking at me to tell me where I'm going wrong, treating me like a child.
I am not a child.
It may not seem true that I love music, because otherwise I might have chosen different paths. But it is also true that if singing gives me air to my lungs, it is only because of the people who listen to me that I can breathe. Therefore, the solution came by itself.
It must be said that in the last album they gave us more space, and I even produced a whole song, almost by myself. But this one ended up at the bottom of the album, where not everyone can see it. Maybe it's because I don't trust those who love me.
I was not free to write what I wanted to write. This was not the plan, from the beginning, this was not how I envisioned it.
It makes me smile to think that Amanda, like others, must also be like this. That's why she doesn't refuse anyone's attention, that's why she still seeks more.
I don't feel like giving the belly talk that would come naturally spewing out, because that would not be entirely honest of me, yet I keep thinking about it.
I look at her, realizing that she's been watching me too, it seems for a while, while the others continue to talk and joke around, except for Sunghoon who keeps silent, between his thoughts and his phone.
However, when I asked what she likes about me…I didn't expect such a statement.
I mean, it was pretty intense. Fans never have the calmness to be able to say something like that, they're always too agitated or excited, overexcited, to be able to make accomplished speeches for more than a twenty seconds. And that's nice, and that's fine, however I simply didn't expect such praise, even though I already knew I was his favorite, shall we say?
It seems so idiotic to be fascinated by something like that.
But why does she keep staring at me with this thoughtful air, too? And why can't I look away from her eyes so big and full of lashes?
At first it was funny, curious, I admit. I didn't disdain the idea of being able to do some "intimate" chores at home, in comfort, in a safe area with a person under contract and therefore by law unable to create scandal.
Since I have no desire to end up in the storm, it was myself who chose not to date anyone for a while, after all, we were also busy and my previous relationship was not even that big of a deal.
However, spending time with her perhaps awakened my desire for female companionship. Living with all these guys, choosing not to see any girls so as not to undermine my growing and dizzying popularity, I kind of miss a girl's voice, a girl's laughter, annoy a girl, and then…
Keep looking at me, I do the same. If it's a game, I can't lose.
I missed a girl's shapes.
It seems nonsense for Lee Heeseung, so handsome, talented and excellent at anything, to feel such a desire, doesn't it? I could meet whoever I want, dare I say I could simultaneously fuck with full Aespas, if I really wanted to, however….
To be seen, to be heard, to be loved, is what I most ardently desire. The more people do this, the greater I feel and cannot avoid it. An ordinary person who counts for nothing loves in a different way... is devotion.
Am I imagining it? She seems worried about me. I make a threatening grimace that makes her flinch. How dare she turn such a kind expression on me? So thoughtful? As if she's worried about me, when all she does is walk around Sunghoon?
Or is he the one going around her?
Why do my thoughts always come back here?
"Stop!" I shout.
They all look at me, confused. "Hyung?" Niki asks.
I cough. "Let's have a karaoke."
"A… karaoke?" Amanda asks impressed.
Why did I imagine that? I will sing I need the light, as she asked, this afternoon. It's just fanservice.
"What are you, 14 years old?" Sunghoon asks me.
Beomgyu rises from his chair with his arms on his hips. "Let's do it!"
"Can we all agree to do exactly the opposite of what Sunghoon wants?" Soobin also asks, getting up, realizing we're going to the living room.
"Yes." They all answer in chorus, following Yeonjun who goes first, who did not comment on my proposal, strangely enough.
"Sunoo and Jungwon are coming back." Jay warns me, passing last, accompanied by Ester who literally wags her tail behind him.
As usual, Sunghoon is always around Amanda and I cannot talk to her alone. "Are you happy?" He asks me.
I nod annoyed. "Why not."
Amanda looks at me again, finally focusing on me. It's the time, really. I catch her by the arm as Sunghoon moves forward, he seeming to not notice that she has disappeared or he would surely have followed her, wouldn't he? I still don't understand it very well.
"Why were you staring at me?" I ask her, but honestly no, that's not what I meant.
"Are you okay?" She asks, and that's exactly what I wanted to ask her!
"I'm fine. - I nod a little theatrically, although I don't even know why she's asking. - How about you?"
"My night was ruined." She admits.
What is this sad expression? Why is she so sad? I turn away from her, I don't understand what's happening to me, it's as if I feel pity and I'm not used to something like that. I feel sad for her, maybe?
"W-Why?" But what do I do? Do I even stutter?
"Now everyone knows that I am a host. They won't treat me like a normal person anymore." She explains, smiling defeatedly.
She especially cared about looking like a normal person, huh? But… I saw her today, she seemed pretty normal… I treated her normal, right?
Or did I just go too far by invading her privacy and literally forcing her to say what I wanted because I was blackmailing her?
"I will treat you normally, even if it's just me."
Amanda still smiles, you can tell it is not out of contentment that she does so. "I am a host, this is the normal way for you. Do you understand?"
"Then I will do it from now. I will… - I lower my voice, looking into her eyes - I will do it better."
She looks at me impressed, seems surprised, maybe she didn't think I was serious. "Why are you gentle with me?"
Right, why do I do that? I get nervous, backing away again when I hear Sunghoon approaching, I was right, he's the one on her. He pretends to have forgotten the water bottle on the kitchen counter, pretends not to look at us, how stupid.
"Do you have the karaoke?"
"No, it's in Jungwon's room." I reply.
"Then go get it, since you're the one who had the brilliant idea."
"You're a singer, how can you hate karaoke?"
Amanda giggles at my joke, Sunghoon clicks his tongue annoyed. "I don't like doing it with them. Maybe not even with you."
"Very mature, indeed." I say, placing a hand behind Amanda's back to let her proceed down the hallway alone. I almost throw her but apologize as I see her swerve. How cute.
I want to talk to him alone.
"Dumb, you're hurting her!" Sunghoon tells me, betraying himself.
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 11
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Minggyu (Seventeen) & BTS
NEW TRAILER:
FIRST TRAILER:
PAIRING: FEM READER X ENHYPEN WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes. GENTRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution. Your body in exchange for paying off your debt. Do you accept?
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
I don't know how long I slept, I only know that when I wake up Heeseung is watching me sitting in his gaming chair. He looks at me biting his fingernail, but then he notices that I am awake and removes his finger from his mouth.
He was tapping his foot, he is nervous, but why?
Oh my God, I didn't think of that! I'm lying on his bed like it's completely mine, it's probably getting late and he'll have a lot to do tomorrow. I touch my eyes, they are smeared with dried mascara and burning.
"How are you?" He asks me, but he seems distracted.
"Sorry... how long have I been asleep?"
"About an hour."
He is cold, I can sense it, and he is nervous as well. Every time I find myself alone with him, I discover a new side of his real personality, and that scares me.
"I'm sorry, really." I say, standing up and holding down the skirt of the little dress with my hands.
He stands up, looks at me, stops me from walking out the door to the bathroom, where it would be better to go now. "No, I'm sorry."
"For what?"
He doesn't answer right away, he is so strange.
Then suddenly he says "How are you feeling? Are you sick? Tired? If you're-" he stops when he realizes I'm looking at him so intently, maybe with languid, reddened eyes from the smoke and mascara, then I realize it too and lower my head.
"No, I'm fine." I say, under my breath.
After all, he behaved well today, I guess... was too hard on him, I realize, and why then? When I saw him in Jay's room, with that heartbroken expression, my heart really crumbled. It's as if I love him, really, but ... in a different way? Is it possible?
Perhaps because in my eyes he is simply unreachable. Perhaps because I know that nothing can ever bridge our gap, genuinely loving him is the only way I would feel entitled to turn my attention to him. I am but a fan; he is a mirage to me even now.
"Are you sure?"
"If you want to, it's fine for me. - I answer honestly, unable to look at him. - If you don't want to, that's fine for me anyway."
He doesn't answer me for so long that at one point I can't help but lift my gaze. Is he.. surprised?
How beautiful he is. So beautiful.
All I get to say when I look at him is handsome, handsome, handsome -- with the vowels open and full, like my heart and eyes when he is in front of me.
Heeseung is simply too much for me.
"You said you weren't feeling well."
Why does he insist? It's not like I'm the one asking him to fuck. I look at him nervous and confused.
"Look, I'm not the one who asked you. If you don't want to, I won't force you."
He seems about to speak but then stops, what's wrong with him? Is he upset because he has to sleep with me? Or does he want to sleep with me? Or even worse, would he like to be wooed by me?
With Jake it was different and natural, but with him I just paralyze, I know he is just playing with me but I am completely alarmed because of him.
"I can sleep on the couch if you want to be left alone."
"What bed would you end up in if you did that? Jay's? - He asks me, suddenly serious. What's wrong with him? - Or at Sunghoon's?"
"Ridiculous." I say, trying to get through the door to go wash up, since I am most likely a creepy sight.
Heeseung holds me back, saying nothing for a while, then I don't either. "Since you're okay, let's do it."
I swallow, is he serious? Do we really do it?
Nah, it's not possible.
"I have to wash." I tell him, my voice trembling.
He smiles, but he doesn't look pleased. "Why? - He asks me, moving forward and forcing me to back away, while the door remains shamefully open. - You should be beside yourself with joy right now."
If something is about to happen again, I'd rather the other housemates from the hallway didn't see her as well, although no one is there right now.
Besides, if Heeseung wanted to use explicit and dirty language again, like his gaze now undressing me, his lips curled sensually, that little prince's nose turned upward, it would be better if only I listened to him.
"Let's play a game. - He tells me, picking up some of the mascara with the fingertip of his thumb, this actually helps me relax my eye a little. - It will be fun."
"What game?"
"A game...fun, I guess." He snorts, annoyed.
What is he, crazy? My hangover is almost completely gone but he doesn't seem to be, I move closer to smell near his neck and he just doesn't seem to expect it because he backs away embarrassed: yes, he's been drinking again for sure! The smell is too strong to be from an hour ago.
"You're drunk."
"No, I'm not." He imposes himself, lovely.
I can't, it would be like.... like I taking advantage of him. Even though he's the one asking me, I just can't ignore the fact that I want him so badly, and that makes me feel guilty.
"In my opinion, yes, we can't do it under these conditions." I say, but he's really close and I'm forced to look at him now, stuck in his arms leaning against the wall I'm against.
The door is still open.
"I said it's okay. How do you come up with that? You're the one who should be afraid." He says and I get the shivers.
I can't face a conversation if he's so close to me, I don't know how I managed to talk to him this afternoon, maybe because I was seriously desperate and scared that he might rat me out, but looking at me now I look like a different person.
Maybe it's because this time he's not blackmailing me - it was my choice. I feel much more vulnerable because now I could seriously be rejected at any time and I don't know how I would react.
"You're not sober, so you're not even aware. You can't-"
It's okay to shush me like that, Lee Heeseung.
His lips taste like gin, and I really hated it before I tasted it from him. The bitterness of the booze becomes saliva slipping between our tongues, I can feel myself glowing again, for a second, as I drink straight from him.
It is dirty, vulgar the way he kisses me, I like it.
"Stop me now because I might not later." He whispers, once again asking me to stop.
Why should I stop? Why would I want to?
This pastel orange hair, thin and light, slips through my fingers, I don't pull it, but I want to so badly. Since he started kissing me, he doesn't leave me for a second, however, he doesn't proceed with the talk, he waits patiently for my answer.
"Do you.... do you want me not to tempt my favorite member at all?" I say it under my breath, there is still the door open.
Maybe I could have avoided saying it. I should have just remained silent, and that, for me, would have been enough because I would never have admitted it anyway. But in front of Lee Heeseung, this masterpiece of a human being in every respect except just the human one I guess (but still less than Sunghoon! Much less!), I lose. I just lose.
How can he act surprised? Why does he waste his time deluding me?
"Did you..."
"Let's forget it."
"Why didn't you do it earlier?" He asks me, all of a sudden angry, a little funny though.
"Do what?"
"Tell me." He whispers.
"What does it matter, after all?" I ask, with a slightly undone smile.
He doesn't answer, rightly so, not that I expected anything else. At this point he is no longer kissing me, he has pulled away and sighs in frustration. What's wrong with him? What am I supposed to do? Try to console him gently?"
"You are... a mess." He tells me.
I become stiff, surprised but also hurt. I know I'm a disaster Heeseung, I know it's a disaster to be here, but my reputation is now completely compromised, the eight of us would have nothing to do in the future anyway, and I'll be taking off a big debt, it's okay, I've already accepted it.
I'm the one with the most regrets as of now, I assure you.
"I'm sorry." I reply, not sure why.
He turns around, looking at me interdicted. "Why do you apologize? Why don't you get angry like you do with Sunghoon?" He asks, after finally closing the damn door.
I sigh relieved. "What are you talking about? Do you want me to treat you like I treat him?"
Really, I don't understand him tonight. He's strange, he's confused, he doesn't even know what he's doing. He wants to fuck me, but also insults me, then gets offended if I get hurt and tells me to fight back!
"Heeseung, what is it?" I ask him surprisingly naturally.
He sighs. "We have to play." Why is he so heartbroken as he says this? What, he doesn't like me but wants to take advantage of his turn? Is it like something like this?
"To what?"
"You know? I can do a lot of magic tricks, unfortunately I'm also good at it." He tells me expressionless.
I smile because it's strangely awkward and cute to say something like that at such a time. He looks at me in annoyance, and it's still cute. I see him pull something out of his pocket, then he asks me to turn around.
"What is it? Will you blindfold me?"
"I know you want to watch, since this is the first time with me, but this is essential for it to happen - he says after stop him for several seconds - the.... magic."
"Am I scared?"
"I hope not."
I let him put on the mask, all right, let's see what kind of magic Heeseung has in store for me. After putting it on, positioned behind me, he starts kissing my neck, touching my hips, squeezing them.
I can smell his shampoo and the smell of his cologne mixing beautifully as he moves my hair with his chin, caressing the nape of my neck with his lips and then biting it.
"Are you still scared?"
"I guess not."
He steps in front of me, I can tell he is removing his shirt, I desperately want to see but I am motionless in front of him, even a little embarrassed. He lifts my mask, looking me in the eye.
"Be very careful." He says and then kisses me, holding my face with his big hand.
The way he uses his tongue, the way he uses it so much when he kisses, pulling it away to make me want it before he puts it back in, makes me feel really depraved. I want him to be even more disgusting, even dirtier.
I could really let him do what he wants if he asked me right now. And he's just kissing me.
I can't resist, I'm really too excited, I don't think before I put my hand between my thighs. Oh god, that feels so good. I don't want to, I can't touch him, I have no right to, that's why I can only help myself.
I already feel submissive to him, I just want him to use me.
Heeseung puts his thumb along my tongue, forcing me to pull it out of my mouth, then he looks at me with subles eyes.
"You really are a little bitch..." He sighs.
What a shame, what a shame, but.... Heeseung pushes his hand on mine, moving it more intensely, faster, as he continues to kiss me, I am really too excited and I think it is also the booze's fault, it always does that to me. Maybe I'm not completely sober, actually.
"You really are the worst." He tells me, lowering the mask again and then biting my earlobe.
I can't see anything anymore, his naked chest is a distant memory, yet I could observe him until a few seconds ago. I don't understand anything, I just know I want more. I tie my arms around his neck, he holds me by the hips, I get shivers.
We're going down for real now, Heeseung and I, there's no way I can regret it or deny him. I feel really close to him, and although I recognize they are only fantasies, I can only exploit them as long as I am allowed to.
I want to be close to him, I want to him keep touching myself, and I want to be able to do it too. Tonight I will experience probably my greatest desire, I just have to think about enjoying it.
I realize only now that it will hurt more afterwards than other times. There is something strange and morbid that binds me to him and this only becomes clear to me now.
If I rejected him today, it was because I was shaken, because... I was protecting myself. I don't know if I can fuck Heeseung and also remain mentally lucid for the rest of my stay here, but at this point... I'm not going back. What's the point?
It's over now.
Even the TXTs know that I am a host, any remote possibility has vanished for good. I just have to let myself sink into Heeseung, I can accept it as compensation, let's say.
By now his hand has taken over, he is practically masturbating me while I continue to moan, clinging with my palms on his broad shoulders.
Now that I can't see him, but only sense him through touch, it feels like a mountain in front of me.
I am not so petite, but using my palms to explore his bare, smooth skin, I realize that perhaps, unintentionally, I underestimated his body by having it all the time in front of me, even uncovered!
Emotions soiled moments that could have been different. We could have fucked right from the start.
"Tell me you only like me." He orders me, as he continues to pleasure me with his fingers, now inside me.
It is complicated for me to talk, but I will do whatever he wants tonight. "Only you, since always."
"Really?" He asks and I can't tell if it's part of the game or he's really surprised.
I'm enjoying it too much to think clearly anyway. "Yes - I say, opening my mouth and making a sharp sound as I tighten my fingers on his shoulders. - Only you."
"Have you ... ever touched yourself, thinking of me?"
What is he saying? I keep panting but try to modulate my voice; I'm a little upset by this question. I don't want to answer or lie, but I find it deeply wrong that this could have happened (did happen).
"He-Heeseung..." I gasp, tired.
He begins to shake his hands inside my pussy, I can hardly stand. "Say it." He says, serious.
"No."
Silence, what is it maybe he thinks I might be sincere? Isn't it obvious that I'm lying?
"In my opinion you do." He says this stealing yet another kiss from me, wishing he would never break away.
"Don't... are questions to ask. It's private." I explain.
Heeseung takes me by the hips again, making me turn away and stand behind me again. He touches my breasts, then my buttocks, then pushes his erection against my ass.
"If it's true that you've always liked me, you should have no problem." He whispers in my ear as I notice as a shift of air inside the room, something imperceptible but I notice all the same.
Something has moved in the room, but it cannot be an object, so is it a person? I didn't hear the sound of the door opening, and Heeseung would have certainly chased away anyone who came in, so what's going on?
"Problem with what?" I ask as I feel him grasp my cleavage with his fingers, not a gentle touch. He grabs me tightly.
"With magic."
"What you are talking about?"
He doesn't answer, in fact, holding me by my dress he seems to twirl me slightly, but I don't understand why.
"This though, I'll take it off you." He says, before ripping it in two without even asking me! Is he crazy? It cost me like $30, and I'm poor!
Then he pushes me on the bed, but he just wants me to kneel on it, because with his thumbs and forefingers he has me by the nipples, it hurts, but I really like it.
"Ah..." I sigh, sore, he squeezes harder and harder, and I keep getting wetter and wetter.
"Does it hurt?"
"A-A... little." I admit quietly and hear sighing.
It wasn't Heeseung's sigh, it's too close, I would have heard it. Could I have imagined it because of excitement? I have to calm down.
"Just a little?" He asks, in that sweet, young, sadistic voice of his.
He squeezes even harder, and I feel an electric shock throughout my body. The fact that he does this likes me. "Ah!"
He bites my neck, hard, I can feel his teeth poking into my skin. "You understand that, don't you? That's how I touch you."
No, I don't understand. What does that mean? Does he want to hurt me or something? I'm not sure I'd back off..... but it would be nice to know first.
He kisses me where he bit, is healing, holding me by the waist, helping me bend at 90 degrees. He remains several seconds silent, I imagine he's watching me under the chandelier light, wondering if I'm shaved properly and what he's thinking. What if he notices that I'm no big deal and changes his mind? That would be devastating for me.
"Heese..." I try to say, to see if he's still with me, but responding for him, his cock penetrating deep from the start, I open my mouth surprised, emitting a moan.
"Yes?" He asks, holding me by the hip with one hand but massaging my buttocks with the other, as if nothing was wrong.
"When does... ah.. magic start? What is...this magic?"
"It has already begun." He sighs, displeased or perhaps offended.
I don't understand. He gasps under his breath as he starts going faster, I can't avoid it either. I can't fathom the size but if I feel him so deep inside me so normal he must not be.
I'm exhausted and we're just getting started. He pierces me, I don't even try to hide my moans, at best I limit them.
"Ah... Heeseung..." I pant again, surrendering to these wonderful sensations. It feels good, even if it makes me nervous not to see anything.
"Do you like it, little bitch? - He asks, leaving me pleasantly puzzled. - Maybe you like it a little too much." He says.
I love the way her sweet tone clashes with her language. It is perverse, strangely perverse.
So he spanks me, moaning in pain, surprised. He says nothing but just keeps fucking me as he gets harder and swollen, settling stroke after stroke inside me.
I hear sighing again, I didn't imagine it, this time I hear it perfectly.
"Amanda - calls me Heeseung - the mask.... you must never take it off."
"W-Why?" It's hard to talk as he goes on, how does he stay so calm?
"Will you?"
I don't answer right away, honestly I'm not very convinced, but I can't, I mustn't lose this intimacy by insinuating discomfort. I know it's not done, I know it's wrong, I know I should say no.. but he is Lee fucking Heeseung.
"Should I? I will if you ask me."
This time he's the one who doesn't answer right away, who knows what he's thinking and who knows why he doesn't stop for a second to fucking me. My legs are already trembling, I guess also from thrill.
"Don't... don't say that." He answers me, and I don't quite understand this response at the moment.
Someone is stroking my face, my hair, I shudder. Heeseung continues to fuck me from behind and I'm practically helpless, but I want to snap and take off my mask, even though I'd end up falling on my face, since I'm leaning on both hands and Heeseung's strokes don't allow me to hold on with just one hand.
"Heeseung! - I can call him, but just because of that he increases the pace even further, pulling me toward him from the hips and making it my whole body to let him in. - He...Hes..." I can't speak, it's magnificent.
Someone gets on the bed, it's obvious, I can feel the mattress tilting toward him but I'm in no condition to make any movement, it's Heeseung who sets the pace for my body. Heeseung helps me lift my shoulders even though he does so by holding me by the neck.
At this point, while he is still inside, I am up on the bed, though on my knees. I feel him enter me all the way to the stern, and I know it's creepy to say but he seems to be impaling me and my clear humors make the entry easier and easier so he can go deeper.
The hand that was stroking me, but had to stop when Heeseung pulled me to himself, moves my hair again.
Basically, Heeseung holds me by the throat, while the person in front of me (who in theory I don't know who is, but in practice an idea I would have), elegantly, pulls my hair aside, gathering it behind my ear, but then his fingertips slide down my face. He touches my nose, my lips, then with his other hand grabs my free wrist.
That's right, I'm free! Why can't I move anyway? Maybe it's because Heeseung is too inside and any movement now would make me wince in pain, but I love it, I love it to death.
"Wh...who...ar..." No, I just can't speak.
"I am Heeseung." Sunghoon answers.
Really? I would recognize his voice among a thousand, with what courage...ah...I deconcentrate, I don't reflect, Heeseung doesn't leave me time.
"W...wh...hat...."
He moved my hand to his crotch, it's swollen, it's big--I don't know if it's the pants, but I feel like I'm touching something really hard. How gross.
"Heeseung!" I can finally pronounce, but I'm not even able to close my mouth.
I don't understand, didn't he say he would never sleep with me? Has he already changed his mind? And why am I sad that Heeseung let him?
"There's the magic." He says again, I know, it's certainly Sunghoon.
"N...I don't...wa..." I try to say, trying to move my hand but it's no use. He pushes it harder, I can catch the bump with my full palm.
"You don't want to?" He asks quickly, Heeseung. His tone is alarmed.
Has he... betrayed me? No, we don't have that relationship.
However--if you let him do this to me, will you tell him everything else as well? And what does it matter right now? The worst thing, and the best thing, is that they are really fucking me together. If he's okay with it, why should I be the one to pull back?
But... he is Sunghoon, this is... Sunghoon's cock, under my palm, because in the meantime he has unzipped his fly and allowed me to touch him from above his underwear.
"W...why..."
If my mind is focused on the person in front of me, my body follows the rhythm of Heeseung's. The parts of me are disconnected, but they reconnect at the height of their cocks.
It is a terrible situation, and it is only the beginning, why am I so happy? I hate Sunghoon, I... I thought I could be alone with Heeseung.
"Don't you want to?" He asks again, close to my ear, and perhaps because of my panting, the person in front of me cannot hear.
"How... did you...ah! - I groan, feeling him enter more forcefully as I begin to speak. - Wh...Whit.. him..."
I don't have time to figure out if Heeseung has understood what I said, that the second Heeseung sticks my hand inside his boxers, and it's dry, hard, really hard. At the same time he kisses my neck, and it doesn't make any sense, I can smell Sunghoon's scent perfectly.
"Y-You suck!" I tell him, trying to pull away.
I hear him laugh, I amusing him. "Why?" He asks, holding my face still with his large hand.
Heeseung is exhausted, practically throwing me on the bed, breaking the contact between Sunghoon and me, luckily I don't hit my head but I guess he considered it. Breathing heavily, I can't see them but I get the impression that they are watching each other, or worse yet, watching me.
I feel like sitting up and going to lift my mask but I don't have the time because both wrists are being blocked by someone. Judging by the scent, it's Sunghoon.
"Do you like magic?" Heeseung asks, I hearing him far away.
"Really? With Sunghoon? Couldn't you ask Jake?" I rant, coming to my senses all of a sudden.
"Didn't I ask you if you wanted to continue? - Sighs the boy, seeming to approach the bed. - And does it sound like I asked anyway? Do you really think it was my idea?"
"Didn't you perhaps agree?" I immediately ask.
He shushes.
"Sunghoon? I am Heeseung." I hear him laughing, the bastard, holding me down as I am completely naked under him.
"Don't fuck with me!" I retort, garrulous.
"Then say you don't want to, it's your last chance. " Heeseung says this as if it were an ultimatum, and maybe it really is.
He seems to have reluctantly agreed -- but he has agreed, so it means they are more friends after all than it seems. Why should I refuse, then?
For him I was someone to share, then I will take from both of them. There is always a glass half full somewhere.
But then why am I sad?
I guess this is the first of many disappointments I should expect from him.
"Do you want me to stop?" I ask.
He doesn't answer.
"No, I don't want to." Sunghoon does for him.
"What... You can't be serious! Do you remember what you said on the balcony like a few hours ago?"
"No, because I am Heeseung." He repeats, amused, as he has managed to lock both my wrists above my head, holding them only with one hand.
Sunghoon slips two fingers inside me; I'm already profusely moist, but they still do their fucking dirty work. I groan shyly not out of flirtatiousness, but because I really am embarrassed knowing he is watching me enjoy myself. Not Sunghoon, not him. Why am I not refusing to continue, though? Heeseung has asked me so many times.
Anyway, while the ice prince is holding me down, Heeseung is fiddling with something in his hands. Do you want to see that Sunghoon is holding my hands because the other one wants to tie them?
In spite of this, the minor's fingers do not stop, he never loses concentration but prevents me from maintaining it, while Heeseung is evidently tying my wrists. I was right.
"Stop! - I say, gasping. Sunghoon doesn't stop. - W-What are... ah... you doing?" I ask, but my voice comes out as high-pitched as a child's, and it's because of him that he gradually but rapidly increases the rhythm.
"You could have run away, but you stayed." Heeseung replies, sighing and tying the rope tightly.
Now I am seriously helpless, now I can neither see nor move. I am completely theirs, whatever they want to do to me, but that doesn't scare me (and it does) and I keep moaning until I lose my breath.
"You must really like Heeseung, since you even want two of him to fuck you." Says the other, after slipping his fingers out. I feel like he's licking them, but I don't see it.
"You're a coward."
He replies simply laughing, it's over.
I am grabbed by the hair, dragged to the edge of the bed to which I crawl with my hands tied in front of me. He doesn't hold me too tightly but it hurts a little, which makes my reactions more sincere.
If I look scared, it is because I am. If I look horny, it is because I am. Between my legs flows a pleasure I have never felt before, a pleasure offered to me not simply by as many as two, but what, people.
I am shallow, I am fine with that too.
On my left cheek rests human meat, thick, warm. A few seconds later the same sensation is repeated, I have two olympic rods resting on my face and practically covering almost its entire length. I guess it's just a bad taste dream, but not a bad dream.
He grabs me by the hair, the one on my left, but now I couldn't tell who it is. Being as brusque as the one who dragged me, I could think of Heeseung, but of Sunghoon I don't know, it could be the same.
He pushes his flat pubes against my face, which is literally obscured by their increasingly hard intimacies, one wetter than the other for obvious reasons, the one on the left for that matter. They rub them, forcing my lips to rest on them, but I don't really resist much.
I am tired because Heeseung has already given me an intense orgasm, and then Sunghoon, too, with his fingers, I am exhausted. What's the use of fighting anymore?
Have I ever wanted to fight?
First I am directed to the left, my mouth automatically opening to allow his cock to go in, as far as he wants.
"Maybe the ropes should come off." Sunghoon says, probably annoyed that he can't use my hands to masturbate.
"No need." Heeseung replies confidently.
His voice comes from the left, he is sure.
He facilitates my movement by pushing my head, even though he is about to choke me. I can hear his involved and enjoyful breathing as I take it in deeper and deeper, though really, I can't breathe.
It takes Sunghoon to pull me away, as Heeseung hardly notices. Violent the boy, eh? But Sunghoon certainly didn't help me out of kindness so much as because now it's time to make him enjoy.
Now, though inaccurately, I can make out something of the size and shape. Although they seem to me to be of a similar length, while Heeseung's maintains the same circumference from base to tip, Sunghoon's has a really thick tip, while the base is thinner, but only compared to the tip.
I could be wrong, of course.
"Oh, shit." Moans Sunghoon, who has put it all the way into me, all almost even his balls.
I try to wriggle out of it, unlike when Heeseung was doing it, I don't intend to choke at all for Sunghoon, and seeing how fast he's slamming into my mouth and throat, so excited is he, I seriously fear for my life.
I will admit, though, that hearing his voice panting because of me, after all he has said and did, makes me uncontrollably proud.
Proud of what then? Like it's worth it.
"Go slow." Heeseung seems to push him, and he actually pulls away from me.
"Don't push me - he says, in a really annoyed tone. - Okay, then you take it from here." He tells him, lowering himself slightly to pick me up.
What does he do? Where is he taking me? Help, I feel like I'm flying!
"Why don't you untie me? I won't take off the mask! Really!" I try to be convincing, but naked, blindfolded and tied up, it seems hard for them to find me believable.
Sunghoon throws me down, on the bed, now I'm on my stomach again, I can only cross my legs, bringing my knees together, trying to hide my pussy - who knows what the point is, then, at this point.
"If I untie you, the magic ends." Sunghoon replies.
Heeseung lets out an annoyed snort. "You really wouldn't take it off?"
I don't answer, surprised at the question.
No, but what qualms do I have when he was the one who sold me first?
"No."
"It was obvious you were enjoying it." Sunghoon comments, grabbing my legs and opening them forcefully. How shameful.
"Really, I won't take it off, but free my fucking hands." I plead with him (I don't), appealing to his common sense.
"Then what would be the point of untying you?" He replies, the bastard.
What do you want from me, Heeseung?
What does that mean? That I should take off my mask? And for what, to expose your friend, who you helped and brought into this situation?
If you really loved your fans now you wouldn't play with my heart.
This was our first night, but now Sunghoon just stuck his cock in me and it feels huge, maybe because my pussy is irritated from too many of Heeseung's strokes. Hoon has put his palms on my flat belly. He grabs me by the narrow waist, as opposed to my wider hips; I feel tiny little when I'm not.
"Ah!" I exclaim, surprised.
"You slut." It reminds me of Heeseung, and that turns me on even more.
Am I a slut? All right, then let's make there a reason to be called that. Sunghoon has already started fucking me, he's quieter than Heeseung and I sorry for this, but right now my target is him, who feels entitled to judge me when what's happening is only his fault.
I open my mouth, stick my tongue out. I want it, I don't care.
"W-what are you doing?" Heeseung asks me, stupidly surprised.
"The slut - I say, but just then Sunghoon sinks his fingers further into my upper abdomen, pushing my body against his cock. - Ah...Ah! A-As you say!"
He doesn't respond right away; I can't imagine his expression. "Gross." He then says, climbing onto the bed and straddling my face, I feel the warmth of his body tickling my neck.
He says so but wasted no time in filling my mouth again. His cock is so much-long, paying attention to it. In this position I feel it even longer.
Gross? I'm the one to say it!
In fact, speaking of which, after tonight in Heeseung's room I don't even sleep there anymore. He stabbed me and sold me, gave me to Sunghoon of all people, I'm sure it's him, I don't have the slightest doubt. It is so obvious.
It's not okay for him to I think, reflect, he has to fuck me faster, unhinging every structure in my mind, invading it with pure pleasure, like his cock inside me.
"Ah!" I groan, with my mouth open.
Heeseung stops his pelvis, perhaps worried, seeming to remain a few seconds still as opposed to Sunghoon.
"Are you okay?" He asks, pulling it out with his hand.
But my mouth still cannot close, because the prince does not stop for a second. "A...Ah....He....he...Hees-seung-ah!"
But what do I do? Do I call out his name while I'm enjoying myself for someone else?
It feels wrong, but it turns me on like crazy. This way I could try to make Heeseung feel guilty, and make Sunghoon angry, I see no downside.
Am I playing with fire? Definitely.
"Amanda..." Heeseung whispers, surprised, but I get the impression that Sunghoon heard the same, which is why he pulls me slightly, making himself more comfortable.
"How can you ... be so tight ... anyway?" Sunghoon asks, struggling, continuing to push.
It seems that the fool, in fact, didn't notice anything.
He was just thinking about fucking hard, okay.
"Shit." Heeseung curses, seeming to turn away because I sense the air shifting, but maybe not.
I'm all spasm, still clinging with both hands tied to the sheet, Sunghoon doesn't intend to slow down, and maybe, just maybe, that might be understandable.
After all, he wanted this, too, but he denied it and has tormented me until now just because-he wanted me? But him? Him who dating the most beautiful girl in the world, almost?
I don't know what's going on, all I know is that Heeseung walked away from me, silently, leaving me in the hands of this brute who literally grabbed me by the hips, to lift me completely.
Oh my God?
I'm forced to put my arms, remember as always tied, on his shoulders, and it's as if I'm literally tied to his body, since I have nowhere else to put my hands, but that's not this the problem!
The problem is that, now, I'm basically in Sunghoon's arms. I know it's him because he didn't even pull his dick out as he lifted me up, so I'm completely wet, but that's not enough for him.
He has wide hands, tapered fingers, which is why he can hold me up so well by my buttocks, managing to lift my body in rhythm with the strokes. Of course, to be big is big - I mean him! His body!
But not only that, though, here.
Fuck, I just don't think straight anymore. Why does he never stop? Why does he go on? Why do I like it so much? After all, he is still Sunghoon.
In all this, where did Heeseung go?
"You like it, don't you?" He asks, he is amused and has a calm tone, but how does he do it?
"I...I hate you." I manage to say, with tight lips, before indulging in yet another moan.
I feel so full, filled completely by his cock as it quickly slips out and into me. It is natural for me to tighten my pussy muscles but this has exactly the opposite effect to the one I hoped for.
I hear Sunghoon moan, it's horribly wonderful.
"Stop... I'm... - Am I mistaken or is he finally having trouble talking too? I'm squeezing too hard, I think. - Stop..." He's holding back, I'd pay to see his expression now but damn it I can't!
Do I want see him cum? Should I keep squeezing, or should... I let him continue? Either way, it sounds tempting.
"I said - he says under his breath as he approaches my face, and I can tell because his forehead touches mine - stop..."
His tone is serious, he is annoyed, yet I'm sure his lips are close to mine, I can feel his breath on my mouth, I can even feel him barely touch me with his lips, but he doesn't kiss me.
"I said.... - I gasp, tired, as through it all he continues to fuck me, at his own pace (a little slower) - Y-You sucks..."
"Why? What did I do to you?" He asks me in a whisper.
"Do...do have the...dare..." Oh no, he started again, just rested 20 seconds but already resumed making me jump abruptly on his cock.
"I am Heeseung." He replies.
But who is he trying to convince? Himself?
"Y...you...are..."
"Heeseung."
"Sungh-" I can't say it, because at this very moment, he decides, without asking permission at all, to empty his cum into me.
He did. For real. Before Heeseung. How dare he!!!
I am shocked, after like fifteen seconds of him cumming, because for this amount of time too tired, I simply collapsed on his shoulder. He doesn't throw me on the bed like I thought he would, even after he pulls his cock out of me.
He is...holding me? Am I wrong, or is he hugging me? Does he let me curl up on his shoulder? Why am I paralyzed?
Nevertheless, his now calmer breathing calms me. No, this is not how it should be, where the fuck is Heeseung?
"What the..." He asks, matter-of-factly. He seems to have just returned, but where had he gone?
Sunghoon grabs me with more confidence, I look like a little monkey. "What?"
The two exchange these short sentences, but then they say nothing else, and I don't understand. Seriously, what's going on? Are they perhaps using lip service to communicate? Even if I wanted to try to find out by touching Sunghoon's mouth, I'm still tied up.
Sunghoon chuckles, Heeseung does not. However, however, the latter positions himself behind me, in theory -- now Sunghoon should put me down and leave me to the shift owner, right?
Why does it seem obvious to me that it will not go like this?
"No!"-I shout, wiggling all of a sudden. - Don't think about it!" I say menacingly.
Heeseung quells my uneasiness by putting both hands on my shoulders and pressing down, as in a massage, only much more violently. Meanwhile he rests his face on my neck, biting it.
"To what?" He asks with great nonchalance.
"B-B... - OH NO, I'm at a loss for words, I'm ashamed to say it out loud, I'm also ashamed because in my current situation, it's not certain that they will believe me, or even listen to me, but this way... the situation would be conpllicated. - Behind..."
"Behind?" Sunghoon, who now shares my weight with the friend who helps him hold me up by one thigh, asks interestedly.
"Behind...no..."
A tiny voice comes out of me, a really childish voice, I don't do it on purpose, it's embarrassment. Am I really that shy in front of them? It doesn't make any sense.
The boy behind me slides his hand down to the joint of my buttocks, he is not afraid, but I am. He pushes a finger against my opening and I petrify, because I can't escape.
"Why?" He asks, his lips resting against my ear.
Sunghoon also approaches, kissing my neck but on the other side, how dare he? "I-I just say no!" I repeat, totally unprepared.
I'll be honest, it's like I'm a virgin. A few guys, when I was younger and inexperienced, tried to convince me to walk through that door but after trying a few times I threw in the towel. After three or four failed attempts, with different partners, I realized I didn't want to do it and wouldn't even consider it as an option.
It's okay that I'm involved, it's okay that I realize it's hard to say no to these two, but... I'm going to stick with my idea. That area is off limits.
"Don't tell me..." Sunghoon begins, in a truly surprised tone.
I don't respond. Honestly, it would be better to lie and say that yes, I tried it but didn't like it, but the truth is that I can't really say I tried it. The ones I experienced were clumsy attempts and ended up not even getting the head of the cock in because I interrupted them first.
Anyway, I don't think they will believe my silence. But why lie? Why say I did it if I didn't?
"Are you an anal virgin?" Heeseung asks even more shocked.
"Please." Comments the other.
"I said no." I conclude, however, by not answering the question directly.
"All right, you said no - Heeseung tells me, pushing his pelvis against my back, as if to make himself more comfortable. - So, I won't do it today."
I never said he can in the future.
"So..." I start to say, but he doesn't give me time to finish the sentence as he thrusts it into me, I groan in surprise.
Sunghoon moves one hand to catch his cock, I still can't fall down because Heeseung holds me too, and, guess what? He puts it in, too.
I scream, I really do. I think they heard me downstairs, too.
It wasn't a scream of pain. I mean, a little bit, yes, but not that much. This is the first time this has happened-this is the first time two guys have fucked me from my pussy! Yes, it hurts, actually not really pain as much as a strong burning and a feeling of boundless openness, we could say. It's wonderful, but terrible.
"W...Wha..." I ask, in my own way, but they have begun to move, strangely slowly.
"Not today." They whisper for some absurd reason simultaneously, one in my ear and one in the other.
"You're.... kidding! Fuck!" I moan, breathing deeply.
They are both moving their cocks inside me, I can feel their every movement even in the chaos that is happening inside my head and in my belly.
Heeseung bites my earlobe, it is as violent as ever, but pushed to the right spot. Sunghoon kisses my neck, licks it, sucks it. Their concentrated breaths sound like melodies to me, though unfortunately my not being able to fully contain my voice ends up partly hiding them.
I enjoy my moment of non-lucidity to say that I... simply.. won, tonight.
I don't care about anything, neither that Sunghoon is in front of me, nor that Heeseung allowed him to be there. I'm too involved, lascivious, given over to pleasure and flesh, their flesh, that I want to touch, squeeze, lick (I admit).
How does...also... Sunghoon get hard again? And Heeseung not already cumming, after all the time he fucked me before? Who cares. As long as I can enjoy in this artificial paradise, I won't ask myself any more questions.
"Fuck...fuck..." Heeseung repeats, what a wonderful voice, and who knows what eyes, what expression he's making now.
"So... - tries to speak the other, calm as the sea in August - you're a virgin in this way. So you're not..."
"Exactly the slut I thought." The older man concludes the sentence.
He keeps talking to me like this, and I swear, I can't. As if I wasn't enjoying it enough already.
Ah, straight men and their pathetic superstructures.
"I a...am instead." I answer, with difficulty.
Heeseung pushes him hard, firmly, into me. "Oh yeah?"
"Tha...thank t.. to you." I remind him, too.
He's the one who led me here, he acted like an animal but I will too, because I am, because we are. I won't make a big deal out of it because at least I can actually be a collaborator: functional and productive!
That's what he told me to do tonight, even though he said it between the lines.
He doesn't respond, even loses power and I can tell because he almost stops. Sunghoon must be surprised as well, but no, he does not stop, on the contrary he grabs my face and turns it toward him.
"Are you done.. talking? - He asks me, tightening his fingers, then grabbing my thigh better, he starts to deliver harder and harder blows and I can't hold back, the gasps are loud and well audible. - Be quiet now."
Heeseung doesn't seem to mind as he puts a hand around my neck, pushing me against his chest, I can rest the back of my head on his shoulder. "I made a mistake." He tells me under breath.
"A mistake?" Oh fuck, I'm not thinking straight anymore. Now the doe-eyed boy is fucking fast too, fucking fast and fucking thrusting as he squeezes hard on my neck.
"Fuck." He moans in an extremely sensual tone.
Sunghoon breathes deeper. "Not today." He remembers, for some strange reason.
Then both of them, almost at the same time, cum inside me and I am simply distracted. I have no control over my tired body, used and worn as an object at their disposal.
But I cannot resist, nor do I want to.
If on my left I feel Heeseung's breath, fresh and sensual, on my right I have Sunghoon's, who is trying hard not to moan too much.
I don't understand how they keep moving, though, despite coming, again.
"Fuck - gasps the younger one, moving inside my swollen pussy, from which cum spurts as they continue to thrust so deep - I'm hard again."
Again? Wouldn't that be, like, the third time for him? But Heeseung is hard too, I can feel it very well. By now I can't even tell how long it has been since they started fucking me, but even so, they offer me the added humiliation of continuing to fuck me while I am exhausted, defeated, in their arms.
They use me as long as their bodies will let them. Their cocks rub tightly inside me, despite their cumming, they still struggle to get it all in: this does not scare them, because they go beyond endurance by bashing my pussy shamelessly. They are opening me in two.
"I'm going to destroy your pussy, bitch." Heeseung whispers in my ear, biting it.
He groans contently. "You...you little slut..." Sunghoon joins in insulting me.
Why...do I like that?
I hear them make noises of complete concentration before Heeseung's fingernails sink into the skin of my thighs as Sunghoon gasps more intensely, the two of them cumming inside me again within a very few minutes.
My pussy is really wrecked, aching, dripping and dripping with their cum, so much of it between my thighs, inside my belly. I really feel like a slut and I feel anyway.... aroused, still, maybe even more than before.
After recovering from cumming, Heeseung laboriously lifts me from under his arms, canceling contact with Sunghoon by slipping his cock out of me, then he too comes out of me to put me down, I feel him nervously untie the ropes that have been tightened for too long around my wrists.
Am I free, am I really free?
I spontaneously hug Heeseung! Damn am I happy, however, a second later I realize I am raised on my legs without any support and literally end up on the ground.
My legs don't move and I feel like their cocks are still inside me, even though I know they are not. My inner thigh is covered with their semen spilling onto the floor.
One of them grabs me by the arms. Seeing how hard he squeezes his fingers, and how he throws me on the bed, I'd say it's Heeseung.
"Are you tired already?" Sighs Sunghoon, in a bored tone.
I swallow, I don't know if I can speak, my muscles are completely relaxed, I lie practically like a corpse as I try to think of how I could recover, physically and quickly.
"She's not that good, is she?" He asks again.
Heeseung doesn't answer right away, first taking my hips to lift me up so that I can be put in the most explicit position possible, that is, with my bottom raised in front of them.
Heeseung uses his thumb to spread my pussy from the labia majora, from which their cum flows faster.
"Wah." He comments, surprised, it must be really a lot.
"In my opinion, it's still not enough." Sunghoon wisely advises.
The only thing I can do now is to hide my face in my arms, curl in on myself, and repent. Repent bitterly for every single choice I made today.
I won't take off the mask this time just because I really don't want to see Sunghoon. I will imagine that I did it with Heeseung and his brother, but I cannot, now that I am slightly lucid, accept that I fucked Sunghoon, just with him!
Besides, now they know that I am anally virgin and the fact that they may have some kind of greater sympathy for me because of that makes me nervous.
I should have refused from the beginning.
But my body is lifeless now, I can only clutch at myself while the two of them probably look at me confused...I really don't know if I'm regretful, but I certainly feel great shame.
"Hey, do you think you're done?" Sunghoon asks me.
Heeseung sighs. "Shut up. Will you stop, Amanda?" Heeseung really spells my name wrong.
What good would it do to refuse me now, anyway? If it would take me back in time, I might even think about it, but at this point that I find myself full of their pleasure, is there anything I could fix? Not anymore.
I am sad, but there is no reason why I should.
I have to pull myself together, I'm pathetic right now. I have already hit rock bottom.
I lift myself up on my legs and my arms, even though I am stunned and staggering, crawl toward their voices.
"I-I'm sorry..." I say, under my breath, not sure where I'm looking.
I hear someone swallowing but I wouldn't know who it is. "W-Why?" Asks Heeseung.
I take a long, long breath, remaining silent for several seconds, then kneel on the bed. With my hands I pick up my breasts, squeezing them, then I lift my head and stick out my tongue.
More. Give me more.
That's what I'm thinking, nothing else. The smell in the air, the fragrance of their bodies between perfume, body creams, cologne, sweat, fills my nose, I really feel under a spell.
My body is sore but wants to go on. Then again, it moved automatically to go back to them - congratulations Amanda, good choice now that you are also free.
"Oh shit." I hear Sunghoon say, but Heeseung seems to reach past him to abruptly grab my hair from the nape of my neck.
He immediately thrusts it all the way into me, gasping when it is completely inside my throat. He doesn't waste a second, doesn't hold back, starts to abruptly fuck my mouth.
I have taken it so many times and so deep that I almost don't even have esophageal reflux anymore. Thank you... Heeseung? I would say thank you Enhypen. Hahahaha... it's tragicomic, absurd.
"Fuck, you're really... oh... - can't finish the sentence, too engrossed, as my lips end up kissing his pubes, so much goes down. - Oh fuck."
Sunghoon must not like being hands-on so he grabbed my hand to make me squeeze his cock. Oh man is he big.
As I move my hand to pleasure him, he uses his larger one to guide me. He squeezes it in an almost romantic way, even though he just wants to dictate his pace, however I am not completely immune to this almost holding hands.
Does this make sense? Certainly not, given everything he's done to me, and I'm not talking about bullying! I'm talking about the fact that I would have been pregnant twice, because of him, if I didn't use the pill-so why does it excite me if our hands touch? Hello? Hello? This is Sunghoon.
However.
Heeseung dazzled me, I was worried and worried about him, but then he immediately sold me. On the contrary, from Sunghoon's point of view, he wanted to buy me at all costs.
Am I fantasizing again?
Honestly, I am still sad about Heeseung. Too many emotions! Enough!
Let's focus, as much as possible, since Heeseung is clearly raping my mouth and throat, on what we are touching. It feels... good?
As I suspected, Sunghoon's cock at the base is tighter, but tight that I almost can't close my hand anyway, let's not talk about the top part that is unnaturally swollen and thicker. God, how I'd like to see that.
At one point, Heeseung being on the verge of cumming, he chokes me with both hands to take every last inch as he abruptly thrusts his pelvis toward my face, cumming again, this time in the back of my throat.
"Fuck...what a whore..." He gasps wearily, pulling it out.
I practically cling to Sunghoon's member as I cough and spit out what's left of Heeseung's cum, forgetting to keep moving my hand. Sunghoon then clutches my wrist, pushing it away, and while my mouth is still open, with Heeseung's drops of pleasure sliding down my sides, I get choked again by Sunghoon.
He thrusts his cock all the way in, using his hand to push the back of my neck, instead of clinging wildly to my hair like Heeseung.
"Swallow this too, whore." He tells me as he literally uses me to jerk off a few seconds before filling my esophagus and spraying his cum inside me for the fourth time.
After coming though, he still won't let go of me; he continues to keep his cock inside my mouth.
"Yes, I should make you choke - he tells me, startling me, under his breath, but then he pulls it out and it is completely covered with cum and saliva - but I will be good." He concludes, then rubs it all over my face, until he gets it into the mask.
He knows that this way I will be able to see him, and in fact, for very few moments, partly because I can't keep my eyes open as he literally rubs his cock all over it, filling my eyelashes with cum, I can spot not only his involved expression, not only his wonderful erotically parted full lips, not only his relaxed eyes, but also his broad shoulders, his chest, his collarbones. He is shirtless.
Shit, I got some in my eye! What a burning.
I don't make any cry of pain and he doesn't notice, so I can still observe with my good eye still fully impaled, I can see Heeseung looking at him with his arms folded, he's contrite and he's also beautiful as he bites his lip looking at us, like an envious child.
So cute...
"Yah! - He says to me, when I inadvertently cross his gaze with my eye, then pushes Sunghoon who by now was almost enjoying doing it. He puts my mask back on. - Don't look."
"No need - Sunghoon explains, moving the hand he has always held from my wrist, letting me rest it on his chest. I imagine I've just imploded. - You can touch anything you want."
Can I really? No, wait, I shouldn't want to.
I withdraw my hands, offended, and then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, gasping tiredly and with my throat clearly irritated. Damn but how much is there? And to say I swallowed a lot of it. And then how disgusting, I'm covered.... covered by Sunghoon.
"Have you... - I cough, it's all over me - are you done?"
"No." They answer in unison, very, very quickly.
"Again?" I ask, honestly surprised.
"I think we have a winner." Heeseung says.
"What?" Sunghoon asks.
"She knows."
A winner? You're not going to tell me-that she's really talking about-that stupid question she asked me today? About who was better? Are you kidding?
"Are you serious?" I don't believe it.
"Why?" He asks amused but uneasy.
"What are you talking about?" Sunghoon asks, annoyed.
"Heeseung knows." I reply fearlessly.
Too fearless, as Sunghoon grabs me by the cheeks with one hand, forcing me closer to him.
"Heeseung has forgotten, say it again."
"He would not forget it- I try to speak, though with my cheeks pressed I express myself very badly - him."
"Never mind - Heeseung says, removing his friend's hand. - Maybe, in fact, we should stop."
He changed his mind, huh? Yet his "no" before seemed much more spontaneous.
Sunghoon laughs. "No, the magic ends when the other Heeseung disappears." He replies, climbing onto the bed.
I'm forced to move but I don't have to do it alone, because Sunghoon's hands, along my body, guide me so that I'm on top of him, lying between my legs.
Wow, I can feel his still-hard cock throbbing on my exposed intimacy, now on top of his. "I'm not done yet." He says.
"But Heeseung has finished..." I try to say, not because I really want to dissuade him, I know what he's going to do and I don't think I'll run away, as much as to annoy him.
"Yah, it's late!" Heeseung complains, adorably, however, in the meantime he gets on the bed too.
Sunghoon does not listen to him because, taking me by the waist and pushing a palm on my back, he brings my chest closer to his face. Oh....... oh......
So this is how Sunghoon uses his tongue, the same way he is licking halos of my nipples. He goes around them quickly, he's not a biter, he sucks, oh fuck if he sucks.
Heeseung wants something too, so he twirls my head to kiss me. Oh, his kisses are full, slimy, really dirty, it violates me more his tongue in my mouth than Sunghoon's on my breasts, which he squeezes, lifts, massages, as he keeps sucking them.
Heeseung doesn't want to wait any longer, so he puts it in first. As he continues to kiss me, my back resembles a C. My neck stretches unnaturally to get a little more of the ace lips, the center, the most talented member, probably. At the same time, my uncovered breasts are greedily consumed by the purely erotic licks directed at them by Sunghoon, who surely felt no sentimental involvement whatsoever in this situation, unlike me. And then, between my legs, as Heeseung enters in and smashes through, stroke after stroke, the few remnants of my dignity, he thrusts his cock in again as does Sunghoon.
God, it's horribly magnificent but...they should stop, at this rate....
"Ah!"- I gasp, loudly, Sunghoon grabs the back of my head bringing me closer to his face, rests his forehead against mine again as he continues to thrust harder and harder on his erection again. As well as Heeseung's, which seems to be going harder than the first time, he also seems angrier as he grabs onto my shoulders to thrust, plowing into my pussy with more vigor. - Ah...Ah...it's...enough...." I say this in a whisper, but the boy in front of me can hear perfectly.
"Enough?" Sunghoon asks.
Heeseung grabs me by the hips, Seunhoon pulls me by the face. I know he wants to kiss me, I'm sure of it, because he keeps brushing his lips against mine--and yet....
No, he doesn't kiss me. Heeseung doesn't let him, pulling me closer to him, but I don't think he would have done it anyway. I'm okay with it.
I don't mind. I can have their bodies, but never again, in this life, their love.
In fact, I could have played it better, couldn't I?
Maybe they would have allowed me to stay even if I hadn't given myself to anyone-or would I?
Sunghoon bites with his lips in the center of my neck, while with his teeth, Heeseung bites the cartilage of my ear, massaging one of my breasts. I seem to be enveloped by hands, more than four, of eight.
I begin to blur the sensations.
"St...sto....stop..." I try to say, suddenly emotional. What the fuck is going on!
Heeseung stiffens, I can feel it, but he keeps moving slowly, Sunghoon doesn't seem to care. "Shut up, whore..."
I start to mumble, between moans, oh no, what the hell is wrong with me, really? I feel like crying. Not here, not now.
Heeseung is the first to do something, removing my mask but making sure that I rest the back of my head on his shoulder again, this way my gaze is turned toward the roof.
"It's okay." He whispers, suddenly clasping his hands on my shoulders.
Sunghoon also makes a really primal cry, sinking his fingers into the skin of my hips as he pushes me.
They have come again, together.
But is this normal? Does it work like friends who simultaneously menstruate?
I collapse onto Sunghoon's chest. Not because I want to, it is simply inevitable; I am too tired. My belly is in turmoil again, emotions mingling with the warmth our naked bodies give off, the atmosphere is still thick.
I feel like I've been running for hours, but I've done less than everyone I think.
Sunghoon is surprised, not expecting me to let go in his arms. He holds them wide, as if he doesn't even want to touch me now that I can see him.
When I lift my confused but angry gaze to him, Sunghoon sincerely assumes a worried expression, that's when he rests his palms on my hips.
"Are you okay?" He asks, leaving me devoid of that infamous anger I was talking about; I am unarmed.
This ... is Sunghoon's chest, and it is so... wide.
I try to get up, before I give up my dignity altogether, but I am weak and he resists, holding me close to him. I look at him again.
"Are you okay?"
"What's wrong?" Heeseung asks, taking me by the arm and forcing me to turn around.
Wow... Heeseung, with his hair wet with sweat, with his skin bristling... wow... his abdomen... even if it's not as defined as Sunghon's... that is... wow... it is so concrete, massive.
"Why are you crying!" He asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
Do I cry? But when do I ever? I resist the temptation. I touch my cheeks, confused, they're really wet.
So Sunghoon... Did he squeeze me for that reason? Do you want to see that he's the type who gets soft in front of crying girls? Oh, that's really cute though, isn't it?
Wait! I have to get up!
I try to force my legs apart as it all becomes more and more slippery because of their semen, and also my intimate humors let's face it, but after I get up I simply slump down on the bed, not on Sunghoon at least.
"W-What? No... what are you talking about?" I justify in a hushed voice, not having enough strength to even speak.
"The magic is over." Sighs Sunghoon, getting up and gathering his clothes.
Heeseung looks at him in silence, then looks away seemingly frustrated. "Now go."
The friend, however, takes his time getting dressed. I see him out of the corner of my eye.
Heeseung first thinks about putting one of his sweatshirts on me, surprising the younger man who sneers in amusement.
"What's there to hide now, hyung?" Does it remind him satisfied, the real Sunghoon and not the one who took pity on my tears, a momentary mask? Who knows.
"Go, Sunghoon." He repeats earnestly, Heeseung, also very different from the sex animal, literally, I saw tonight.
Before leaving he stares at me, I curled up by the pillows, covering myself and avoiding his gaze like the plague. "Good night Amanda, next time." He says to me, walking out.
I shiver, literally. Heeseung sits on the bed, putting his hands to his hair, perhaps just now realizing what just happened.
Yeah, Lee Heeseung, you're a pervert.
"Are you happy?" I ask softly, wryly, covering my face with my sweatshirt.
He doesn't answer right away. "You could have... refused."
"Why me? You're the one who arranged it."
"I asked you several times." He tries to retort but I can see him being unsure.
"Why did you do it?"
"For... - he seems to answer in a rush, then freezes - because I wanted to know if you were sure."
"I was hoping you felt guilty. - I admit, smiling, I'm being ridiculous right now. - Now that I hear it out loud, it's much more embarrassing."
I leave him speechless, it's obvious. I guess I'm just making trouble for him, after all, he just wanted to have fun with his friend, and that's what I came here to do, so what right do I have?
"Sorry. I won't talk like that again."
I immediately regret it, perhaps because, contrary to how I felt this afternoon, comfortable, humanly close to him, loving like a sincere fan, I seem to realize only now that I really am just a collaborator. Not a regular girl, not a fan.
"I.... I made a mistake - he surprises me, because I really didn't expect it - I thought that this way, I would solve things." Admits.
Some things to be solved? What is he saying?
"In the end, I created more problems than anything else."
"What are you talking about, Heeseung?"
"What do you think about Sunghoon? - He asks, quickly, as if he wanted to ask me from the start. - He fucks you well, doesn't he?"
"What.... are you serious?"
He blinks those wonderful almond-shaped eyes that he has, like a confused and clumsy fawn.
"Honestly, what's the difference?" I ask.
It's not that I don't want to answer; I would deny it regardless. Simply, what does he care?
"Don't trust him. He's good at what he does." He says, getting up and starting to walk nervously.
"What did you think you were solving by saying yes to him?"
"You've seen him, no? - He asks, concerned, as if he's not even listening to me. - He went crazy because of you."
What the... what is he going to say?
"Stay away from him."
"Why? - I feel more comfortable, but I continue to cover myself as I slowly move across the bed to get closer to the edge. - He's rich, handsome, famous. If he likes me, isn't that okay?"
"He's engaged! Remember him?"
"I would never aspire to be with him but I could become his luxury whore. Gifts and rough sex, that's not bad."
"Rough sex - he scoffs, indignant - you do it with me, at best."
"Really?" I ask surprised but also confused because I can't tell if he's joking.
"Wait, so you like Sunghoon? Even if you're in this situation, shouldn't you aspire to something better than a guy who cheats his girlfriend?" He asks, as if he really wants to reason with me for me to change my mind. How nice, but why is he doing this? He's just leading me on.
"You have a girl's picture in your nightstand too, you don't have sisters, do you?"
Oh, he's surprised. I caught him! But caught who? Lee Heeseung? The korean superstar? No, worldwide I would say. My head is spinning.
"How... Nothing to do with it, we're not together."
It literally hurts my heart to have this conversation because basically it's obvious that he's joking, I'm joking too, however, he does it in a strange way-he doesn't seem to be joking, he's really leading me on.
"Then should I bet on you? - I ask him, looking at him with tired eyes. Today's sessions are taking their toll. - Or should I simply not bet on anyone?"
"Can anyone know what you are saying?!" He blurts out suddenly, loudly, in the middle of the night.
I look at him, frowning but I think I also look very sleepy. "I thought it was a meaningless speech contest. - I embellish my tone slightly, pointing at him annoyed. - You started it!" I shout, tired and stressed.
I feel like crying again, but why did I raise my voice? I'm sorry, am I making a scene? Is it all my fault?
"Does it seem so meaningless that I worry about you?"
"Yes, because you don't even know me."
"You don't know me either but you are in love with me." He replies, the idiot.
How does he suddenly make the argument so ridiculous? The anxiety is gone and so are the tears, wow, thank goodness! Thank you Lee Heeseung for being so stupid.
"The truest thing about you is that you are an idiot, aren't you?" I ask, shocked.
"Or are you in love with Sunghoon?"
"Will you stop with that? I told you I like J- I paralyze myself, remembering that now it's like he's Ester's. He even drove her home-really-the two of them alone. Really Amanda? Is that the situation to get jealous? - Jungwon." I nod.
"Shit, I can't think about it - he tells me, backing away nervously - why didn't you refuse?!"
Again?
"Why do you insist? - I huff in stew, getting up and shrugging at him as I put on his silly, fragrant sweatshirt, smell like his skin, his hair, I like it. I sniff it surreptitiously for a second and then raise my head proudly. - It's your fault."
"I made a mistake, Amanda."
"What ar..."
"Seriously." He repeats interrupting me, serious.
I can't look away now that he's staring at me like that. "Why did I have to be the one to refuse?"
"Because you are my fan. You're the one who should only want me."
But...is this real reasoning? I mean, is it really what it sounds like? Do real people reason like this? Or even worse, do famous people reason like this?
"Are you serious?"
"I-I don't know! - Ah, he stutters when he's in trouble...seriously, I.... - But it would have been better."
"So it's just a game, right? - I ask him, smiling serenely as I stretch the collar of his sweatshirt over my lips. - You just want to win."
Why does he look sad? Lee Heeseung, the actor you are.
"I want it all and I want more than the others, yes."
"You want a real answer? I don't want to leave here." I remind him, by now, this doesn't even sound like a real conversation, it's like I'm dreaming.
"Wouldn't that be better?"
"What?"
"To have you sent away." He says, as if there is still hope for redemption.
I feel like laughing but restrain myself. "You say I can still get sent away, get a million to pay off the debt at best, or end up as a host for another band at worst, just so I can worship you?"
"Avoiding the bands option, well yes, it wouldn't go unnoticed." He replies confidently.
"Wow... you have surprisingly low standards."
"Maybe while you were getting lost watching Sunghoon, you forgot that in front of you is Lee Heeseung."
"Do I become your luxury whore? We can make a contract, if you pay me the debt we estimate timisticam-" he shushes me, kissing me.
Oh, he kisses me a lot, doesn't he? How I love these kisses of his.
"Oh yeah, and would you?"
"No... - I giggle tiredly and confusedly, hanging onto his shoulder and putting myself on my toes to get closer to his ear-because if I were that close to you, I couldn't worship you anymore. I can give up the idea of Sunghoon, but not the idea of Lee Heeseung."
Wasn't that the answer you wanted to hear, Lee Heeseung?
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST || 12
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
WARNINGS: foul language, explicit content, group sex, humiliation, sex in public, threesome, foursoome, rough sex, red flags, immoral acts, unprotected sex, morbid jealousy, comedy, parody, possessiveness, violent quarrels, arguments, betrayals, lies, femdom sometimes.
GENRE: +18, reverse harem, comedy, enemy to lovers, friends to lovers
SUMMARY: You moved to Seoul to start over after a bad experience, and everything seems to be going well, you even manage to work for HYBE. You discover, however, that you owe them almost a billion won, money you don't have and don't know how to recover: but don't worry because Hybe itself offers you a solution.
Your body in exchange for paying off your debt.
Do you accept?
TRAILER 1
TRAILER 2
PREVIOUS CHAPTER:
FIRST CHAPTER:
Heeseung didn't understand what I said to him, and I don't know if it's because my korean isn't that good, as much as because maybe I didn't know what I was saying either.
"Heeseung, what you want from me?" I sigh, tired not of him, but of this weight I feel on my heart.
"Tomorrow.. don't fuck Niki too." He says it directly, even a little too directly.
"Except that with Niki, I wouldn't do it regardless, since he is a kid, but... what do you care? If you don't want to fuck me because others use me you certainly would have behaved differently tonight."
Heeseung suddenly moves closer to me, my breath stops. "I told you I made a mistake. I made a mistake."
"Why are you wasting your time like this? - I ask him, incredulous. - Heeseung on my room was a giant poster of you because it's probably true that I'm in love with you, because I've been betrayed and I don't have anyone else, so yes I probably clung to you, to your idea, but I didn't think I would ever really know you.- I sigh, look into his eyes and see that he is really surprised, really confused. - What I mean to say is.... if you want to have fun, then let's do it, like tonight if you like, but please stop making me think you care about me."
Maybe it's because I need sleep, maybe it's because my mind is too foggy, but at this point I can only be blunt. How dare he say that he is wrong? That he regrets it? A mistake?
Heeseung does not answer the merits of the question, however, he lifts a hand to caress me. "Why were you crying before? - He asks me, and for a second I think I just imagined giving that speech, but then I look at him bitterly. - I can't think of anything else, sorry." He says it bluntly.
"To... To the fact that I was crying?"
The young singer nods. "He... hugged you. He said it was just to fuck but he was hugging you."
"Heeseung!" I call to him angrily, he needs to stop.
"I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry... for every fucking thing. - He says, suddenly nervous, turning away from me and deglutinating. - It's true you could have refused but... why the fuck did I do that?"
"Heeseung, I don't understand you."
He looks at me confused, then seems to become lucid again. "I'm sorry you chose this path, Amanda."
Is he crazy?
"What are you saying?"
"I don't know... - He sighs, confused, nervously scratching the back of his head. - So you're not going to fuck Sunghoon, are you? And not Niki either? Jay is with your friend now, so..."
He's not wrong... but if I don't want to do it with Riki it's really because we're four years apart and I'd feel dirty.... Sunghoon let's not even talk about it, I can't tell if I'm angry or not about.... while Jay, it's true that he's off limits now...
"What if Sunghoon wants to fuck?" I ask him, annoyed. He's basically doing the opposite of what I asked him.
"You'll tell him no."
"I won't promise." I say, avoiding his gaze.
I'm actually serious, I don't know if I can promise it, but I do know that I want to see how far this shallow, scatterbrained guy in front of me will go.
"Are you kidding?"
"Only you can decide that he fucks me?"
"Amanda!"
"You pronounce it wrong."
"Don't change the subject."
"Heeseung can we get engaged?" I ask him point-blank, he looks at me shocked, seriously doesn't know what to say?
"Amanda..."
I smile, I smile because the way he says my name has an almost patronizing tone, I smile because I already know what he was going to say. "Exactly Heeseung, I don't promise. I can leave the apartment and find the money to pay but that will still never bring me to you. I can't risk leaving, I don't want to live for years just to repay that debt...and then.... We had a good time, didn't we?"
I no longer know what to do or say, I just want to sleep and forget every word exchanged with Heeseung, every kiss, every bite or caress...forget everything. I already feel heartbroken now, and the closer I am to him, the more it will hurt. The more I hear him say misunderstandable things, the more painful it will be.
Heeseung walks back to me, looks at me, then gives me a really sad look, and my heart trembles because of him.
"I want you to have fun only with me. No matter how much I think about it..."
I watch him in silence, not knowing what to say. I don't think he's lucid yet, he's talking a lot of nonsense and especially he hasn't listened to a word I've said. That's okay, maybe I should just think about protecting myself.... Heeseung, you, right now, seem much more dangerous than Sunghoon.
"It won't be like that, though." I answer, my voice trembling, but I manage to say it anyway.
Heeseung stares at me, surprised and annoyed. "Then it's not true that you are in love with me!"
"But do you always reason like this?"
Reasoning is perhaps not the right verb, since up to now he has acted as if he hasn't thought for a single second.
"Amanda..."
"Call me by my name when you can pronounce it."
"Teach me how to do that!"
"Lee Heeseung doesn't strike me as one to remember the names and pronunciations of his fans."
He looks at me again surprised, speechless this time. He doesn't respond, who knows what he's thinking...I lower my gaze first, turning away from him to leave and head for the bathroom.
"Amanda... even if I mispronounce it, I don't think I can forget your name." He says, with his back to me.
A shiver runs through my whole body, but when I turn to him I see him motionless as he continues to have his back to me. What should I say? What should I do? I feel like crying, I want to hug him and kiss him but.... Heeseung is simply not thinking tonight.
After all, he too is just a young kid, after all, he too will be shaken by the way things went tonight.
"I'm going to wash up." I just say.
"Aren't you going to say anything?"
I pause briefly, biting my lip. "No."
I leave the room and close the door behind me, at which point I seem to be able to get air again, now that I am away from him. I collapse on my knees, sitting on the floor in the dark hallway, alone.
What if Heeseung is really naive enough to fall for a girl like me? Then I really have done everything wrong since I came here.
What are these tears? Sadness, disappointment? Or anger? What if they are all these things together?
After a very long shower, though tentative I return to Heeseung's room. He is still not sleeping, he is in the bathroom of his room - only he and Jungwon have one. I didn't want to go to Jay's room because that would be weird, so I'm still wearing Heeseung's sweatshirt.
I don't know which side I should sleep on, so I simply sit on the bed. The minutes go by and the fatigue becomes more and more unbearable, it was definitely a tiring day from the beginning.
Eventually I end up falling asleep, I don't even realize it because I lay all over the bed and who knows how long I continue sleeping. When I open my eyes again it is morning, although the light seems very dim behind the almost completely closed shutters of Heeseung's room.
He sleeps beside me, almost completely naked. When I notice this I jerk on the bed, but he does not notice and continues to sleep. As I suspected, I find myself practically in the middle of the bed, Heeseung seems to have fallen asleep on the edges so as not to wake me up.... but what.... does that mean?
Why does he pretend to be so sweet?
It's cold in the room, the air conditioner is on and it's very strong, if I feel cold then... he wearing only boxers, letting me see his magnificent, massive, slender body, will die of cold.
I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway seeing him -- like that. I get up being careful not to move the bed too much, get a blanket from the closet and put it on him, as I do so I can't help but stare at his beautiful face as he sleeps. He is so beautiful.
As I leave the room I look at Jay's bedroom door and sigh, I need to get some things... but should I do? I know it's not a problem for Ester, but should I?
I go to the kitchen, I need a water first. I have a headache and my mouth is dry, it tastes like alcohol and sex. I hear the sound of pans, I hear the sound of burning stoves - there is someone.... and why Jay?
He looks at me expressionless as he adds spices, then back to his stove. "Early bird."
I walk over to the fridge and grab a bottle of water. "Good morning."
"Morning." He answers coldly, I shiver.
"Ester... did everything go well?"
But why was that the first thing I asked? Because I'm a good friend, right? He looks at me almost tenderly, as if he almost feels pity, then smiles.
"What exactly do you want to know?"
I look away before drinking from the small bottle.
Jay chuckles again. "Did you have a good time tonight?"
Should I tell Jay what happened tonight? No... what good would that do? He seems like a completely different person with me by now, and maybe I should have expected that....
"You're not one to take advice, are you?"
I swallow, lowering my face. "You're so different..."
"And that surprises you?" He asks in an incredulous tone.
"I'm sorry."
But why am I apologizing? And for what?
"You said I looked different to you - he smiles, I can see that - but maybe you just thought I was an idiot."
I look at him surprised, not expecting that. No, it's all wrong. I've always-... always held him in high esteem, I've always thought he was really a genius, one of those who doesn't even need to put in the effort to do it, though, because his minimum is still the maximum compared to many others.
Why does he say things like that?
"It's not like that, Jay!" I say, but my voice is shaking.
"Ah no?"
"W-What was I supposed to do? Why are you all o-obsessed with screwing other people? That's why I'm here!"
What am I saying? Am I throwing myself down even more?
"Is that why you're here? - I see him smiling again, but he doesn't really seem amused. - Then I should use you too."
How can he say such things while simply cooking breakfast? I... I am so surprised that I don't even know how to react to his statement.
"Did you... Did you do that, with Ester?" I ask, again.
WHY do the words come out of my mouth on their own? Damn it Amanda, does this really seem like the time to do this?
"Yes, it was great. - He replies, sighing in amusement as he removes some pots and pans from the stove. - Wow, she's really, really bendy for such a little one."
I swallow nervously, why is he telling me these things? If what he says is true, then the idea of using me shouldn't even touch him--not Jay--not him, I don't allow him to be an asshole.
"G-Good for you." I say, taking a very long sip of water.
"She told me you're very chill with each other and it's not a problem if you fuck the same guys." He says nonchalantly.
I look at him even more surprised. "Not... not at the same time."
"She didn't say that. - Sighs Jongseong, after washing his hands, looking at me serious. - So let's not worry about it."
strike!
No, he needs to explain what he means! His idea sounds really perverse, I'm not going to participate against such a close good friend like her - but I don't have time to ask him that Sunghoon enters the kitchen and I stiffen.
Even he is surprised to see me, given the way he looks at me. I look away and so does he, saying nothing for the moment. He makes himself some coffee, doesn't even say good morning, the rude man.
Jay comes up to me, pushes me toward the chair. "Come on, eat."
Sunghoon glances sidelong at us, then sips his coffee in silence while looking at his cell phone.
"I'm not hungry..." I admit, under my breath, though I sit down anyway.
Jonseong glares at me. "No, you have to eat now. You drank a lot yesterday."
I lower my gaze, my stomach really clenched -- how could I eat after all that has happened? "I...okay..."
Sunghoon takes his of plate and sits in front of me, not saying anything, just starting to eat.
Jay doesn't sit with us, he eats from the stove, quickly. "I'm going to go now. - He explains, as he sets up the stove. He looks at me seriously. - Be careful today."
I have the chills, again. Today is the fourth shift, Niki's. Jay leaves, only Sunghoon and I remain, as soon as I hear the front door close I get up and leave.
"Eat." He says to me, after a while.
I don't even look at him. "Don't worry about me."
"Instead I do, do you want to stop me? Can you do that?" He is aggressive from the early hours of the morning.
"Did you sleep well?" I smile nervously.
Sunghoon laughs. "Actually no...my sleep was disturbed."
"Really? - I ask, my voice still shaking, but I'm also annoyed. I take some rice, bring it to my lips but don't eat it. - How come?"
He watches as I eat my bite, then sighs. "It was so hard that I couldn't sleep."
What. WHAT.
Sunghoon? What are you saying? Have you gone crazy too?
I look at him stiffly, surprised, confused, damn, even horny.
Entering the kitchen Jaeyun, already ready to leave, looks at me and literally my stomach clenches. I lay down my chopsticks and look down, Sunghoon witnesses the scene and snorts, again.
"So much noise tonight." He exclaims, sweeping me away.
Sunghoon laughs. "I didn't hear anything."
In fact, Jake's room is the closest to Heeseung's.
"Good morning." I say embarrassed.
Sunghoon seems to get impatient. "Yah, do you want to eat?"
"Stop saying that, it's not like I'm a child. If I'm hungry, I'll eat."
"How can a person not be hungry after... - He stops, laughs, laughs really amused, then quickly recomposes himself. - After four days, come on don't be a fucking kid."
Jake sits next to me, after getting his breakfast, his dishes are different from ours, maybe he doesn't eat normal things? Is Jay in charge of all this? Wow...he is so thoughtful....
No bad person would do things like that. But then what happened just now? Was he serious?
"The important thing is that you're okay." Jaeyun says relaxedly.
Sunghoon looks at him with disgust. "What?"
"Keep eating, come on." The boy tells him.
Not understanding what's going on, I sigh and grab more rice.
"Eat the meat, too." Sunghoon complains.
"Do you want to try this? - Jake asks me handing me a bite of his browned vegetables maybe, he brings it close to my mouth and I spontaneously open my mouth. - It's good." He says, as he watches me chew, after narrowing his gaze curiously.
"It is." I comment, surprised.
Sunghoon sneers annoyed, I savor the taste of Jay's cooking. Of course he's really good at cooking... his wife will be lucky.
"You look a little pale - Jake sighs as he looks at his plate - did Heeseung do something to you that you didn't want?"
"N-N...No..."
"You wanted it, didn't you?" Sunghoon asks amused.
I snort in annoyance. "Why do you have a different breakfast?" I ask, changing the subject.
"I asked Jay to make something light, I didn't feel like meat." He explains quietly.
"Jay takes care of you, doesn't he?" I ask, looking at the dish - even the plating is pretty.
Jungwon also enters the kitchen, is sleepy, rubs his eyes, and then gives me a cool smile. It's refreshing, it makes me feel better so I involuntarily reciprocate.
"Good morning." Says the leader.
"Good morning..." I smile briefly, going back to eating.
Jungwon approaches the kitchen and looks at the dishes in wonder. "Woah, today looks better than usual."
"It must be that he was in a good mood since he screwed Amanda's friend last night." Says Sunghoon, who eats slowly, as if he is not hungry.
I don't respond, I know he's provoking me. Wait... but how does he know they slept together? Was he listening to us or did Jay tell him? Or did he simply suspect it, knowing Jay much better than I do?
"Eat this too." Jake says, putting some condiments in my bowl.
I look at him, sighing. "Thank you Jaeyun..." My voice comes out thin, broken.
I feel guilty, but he doesn't seem angry. The guilt I guess is toward myself.
"How kind." Sunghoon clicks his tongue, observing us.
I take some of the seasonings he gave me and take a big bite. "Wah.. Jay is great."
Jungwon sits next to me, looks at my plate then smiles and starts eating. "Had a good night?" He asks me.
I can't tell if he's teasing me or if he's really naive, but if I'm wondering... it's probably the first.
"Yes, thank you..."
"Has Heeseung been harassed? He usually sleeps naked. - As I was swallowing the mouthful, choking, Jungwon amusedly hands me the water bottle opened by him. - Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
He says this, and I notice that he has different eyes, very different from how I've always seen them from photos, from the Weverse live he does. Jungwon... he doesn't look as innocent as I thought, and the way he looks at me proves it. I'm... honored? embarrassed? I don't know, but he is really very handsome and has a really elegant face.
"I told you to eat." He reminds me of Sunghoon as I continue to stare at Jungwon's profile.
"Are you worrying now? Are you being thoughtful?" Sighs Jake, annoyed.
"Why don't you mind your own business?"
Before the situation worsens, Niki also arrives in the kitchen, who - unlike Heeseung - not only sleeps almost naked but also walks around in it. He is undoubtedly quite a sight....
He makes himself some coffee without bothering to say good morning to anyone, to tell the truth I don't feel particularly agitated, perhaps because I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a damn about spending time with me.
Fortunately, I dare say.
"Did you wake up early? - Niki asks me, not actually looking at me as he speaks but I'm sure he's addressing me. - You should have rested well, considering the day ahead."
His deep, warm voice, completely discordant with the fact that he is only a kid, truth be told, makes me agitated. He will turn 19 in december but he remains a child, however ethereal, enchanting, simply breathtakingly beautiful.
"What?" Jake asks instead of me, taking the words out of my mouth.
"What?" Niki asks, his expression serious but his tone almost ironic.
"You... what are you planning to do today?"
"I have to go sign some releases, then I have to stop by Hybe to meet a lawyer. - He explains quietly, eating breakfast standing behind the counter. - Then I have a lunch and a few other commitments in the afternoon. I need a secretary..."
Jungwon looks at him surprised. "A lawyer?"
"A lunch with whom?" Sunghoon asks.
"My lawyer is no good anymore, he's been creating a lot of damage for me lately."
"Aren't you going to answer me?" The ice prince asks again.
I can't believe it. Has everyone gone crazy? I don't know what to think, unless it's all a dream, I just don't understand.
"Isn't enough for you to know that they are my friends?" The japanese boy asks.
"Just because of that."
"Ah, hyung - sighs the maknae, amused. - You make me really want to hang out with my shady friends."
Sunghoon gets up from the table, glaring at him. "What friends? And why does she have to come?"
"What? You guys can carry her around like a puppy but I can't? At least with me she will really fulfill her duties...you are just annoying her."
Jake pulls his plate away from the front, smiling nervously. "Are you finished? With your skit I mean."
"What duties are you talking about?" Sunghoon asks again, completely ignoring the rest of the speech.
I look at him dumbly... why is he doing this? Couldn't this reaction of his perhaps give me some clues? Niki's friends, actually are the TXTs, but he probably has lots of other friends so it seems unlikely to me that it's lunch with them.
But Sunghoon?
"You know which ones I'm talking about." Niki laughs.
I paralyze myself. He's joking, it's obvious but why am I uncomfortable anyway?
"You can't carry her around." Jaeyun says.
"I'll say she's one of the staff."
"Isn't she a little too pretty to be one of the staff?" Questions Jungwon, who just said I'm cute! Oh he is so sweet... or not?
"Just cover her face, but as for clothes - says Riki, addressing me in that sensual warm voice - wear whatever you want."
"No, she can't wear what she wants." Sunghoon replies, annoyed.
"Yes, we will be careful."
I made a mistake once by dressing provocatively while "dating" Heeseung but now that I know Riki's plans, and the fact that he wants to go to the agency, I will have to dress very anonymously...so the discussion is pointless.
"Don't worry about my outfit." I sigh, eating the side dishes... I no longer crave rice...I prefer to enjoy the cooking, the preparations of the side dishes prepared by Jay's hands.
Now that I know him permanently away from me, now that I know that an irreparable chasm has formed between us, I feel very lonely. No matter what Heeseung says or how much Jake or Sunghoon pretend to care about me, I feel lonely without Jay.
Perhaps because he seemed to be the only one who could be trusted.
I guess he just wanted to scare me a little because I let him down....
"Go get ready noona - Riki tells me, biting into a slice of toast - let's go soon."
"She's still eating breakfast." Jungwon says.
I stand up, actually, maybe it's better to stop eating the stuff Jay prepared, every bite seems to break my heart. "No, it's okay.. I'm done. Thanks for breakfast." I say, taking my plate.
"Are you hurry to go have fun with your customer today?" Sunghoon asks me, obviously making me uncomfortable.
The leader glares at him. "Come on, don't be an asshole."
Jake sighs annoyed. "You always have something to say, don't you?"
"What, are you her knights that you have to defend her?" The ice bastard laughingly asks.
"How childish you are." Sighs Jungwon, though he is amused, I can tell.
Why do I get these strange vibes from him? Yet until today I thought he was a naive, sweet boy.... But now he doesn't seem so innocent.
"I feel like you haven't understood that you don't have to talk when I'm around." Sighs Niki, setting down his slice of bread.
Sunghoon walks around the table, going next to the younger man. "What the fuck did you say?" He has a serious, full voice.
"Hey hey!" Jungwon calls them back, placing a hand on Sunghoon's chest.
I stand in front of the japanese man who looks like he's about to go at him, looking at him sternly. "What are you doing?"
"Aren't you telling him anything?" He asks me, confidentially.
I am surprised but also... happy? "Forget it... he's just a hypocrite." I say, pretending to be calm.
Sunghoon sneers in disbelief. "Sorry, what?"
"Do you really have the nerve to ask that?" I ask him.
Sunghoon seems to calm down physically but continues to give me a nervous expression; he is not uncomfortable he is simply pissed off at me. He is just mad but why?
"I'll go get ready." I say, tired.
I've had little sleep, I'm pissed off as well, plus I don't know what to expect from Niki. Still, though, he strikes me as someone you can talk to... maybe he's just playing up to his hyungs.
Riki comes with me, leaving the kitchen, however instead of returning directly to his room he follows me. I only notice when I get to Jay's room, he is smiling strangely.
"Noona, wear a short skirt today." He whispers to me, amused.
I pale, surprised, backing away. "What?"
"It's hot outside."
I remain silent, not quite sure what to think. "Why?"
"I like skirts. I also liked the dress you had on last night--wear something like that."
"Niki so I'll catch your attention right away!"
"I'll give you one of my coats, it's so big to covers you all over. - He says, running his tongue across his perfect, white teeth. - You won't even get out of the car most of the time anyway."
"But...then why should I dress like this?"
He looks at me seriously for a second, as if he doesn't understand what I just said, then smiles again. "We have to go to lunch later, shall we?"
Um, I'm scared. I don't feel like dressing skimpily while I'm in a restaurant with him... isn't that simply and obviously too dangerous?
I swallow, backing away a few more steps. "You're not going to.. do strange things, are you?" I ask him, alarmed.
Niki thins his already very sharp gaze, seeming to be annoyed by the question. "They don't seem so strange to me."
I...don't know what to say. How am I supposed to argue if he keeps giving me half-answers?
"I'm... serious."
Niki comes up to my ear and touches it. "Just go get ready, noona. Put on something nice, don't make me bad impression." Niki's voice is warm, but when he whispers... he seems to touch all the way to the fucking soul.
Make a bad impression on whom? Ah, maybe his friends. Of course, someone like Nishimura Riki must have friends of TXT's caliber, surely many others of his own idol generation... I should make myself look good no matter what.
"O....Ok..." I say, feeling...small, but I'm older than him.
Riki goes back to his room, I.... I have to maximize my time, I can't take two hours like yesterday. I get underwear from Jay's room, take an outfit from Heeseung's room (who is still asleep), and then get ready in the bathroom outside.
I am quite satisfied with my outfit:
guys sorry for the bad quality with shein logo but it's just an experiment
It's sexy, but it's also cute, plus I don't have any fancier stuff with me so this is the best I can do. I wonder for several minutes whether I should wear a bra or not, the shirt being very tight and with a somewhat transparent fabric, but the truth is that I don't want.... maybe also because it was Heeseung who told me not to wear it, so as not to ruin my breasts.
I would rather not wear it, so I don't. It certainly won't be a bra that will instigate Niki, I'm not going to do anything with him, that's my position and I'm not going to change my mind.
When I come out of the bathroom, prepared and perfumed, I look at myself in the mirror and don't know how to get into Heeseung's room, since I left my cell phone charging. I pull myself together and go in, he is no longer in bed and the door to his bathroom is closed...should I leave without even saying goodbye? That seems a bit excessive to me....
But isn't calling him just to say hello just as inappropriate? What should I do?
Meanwhile, I go to get my cell phone, which should be on the bedside table but isn't there. I am...surprised? In fact I might as well have imagined putting it on charge, however my charger is actually attached.
"Looking for this?" Heeseung asks me, seeing me crawling to check under the bed and between the bed frame and the mattress.
Holding my cell phone, I glare at him. "How did you unlock it?"
"I saw when you were entering the code. Whose date of birth is it?" He admits bluntly as he approaches me.
I rise, sighing. "You shouldn't take someone's phone without their permission."
"But how did you get dressed? Where are you going? - He asks me, noticing my attire; he is still in his pajamas. - Are you going with Niki?"
"Yes but look we're not going to do anything." I sigh - but what do I do? Do I justify myself to him? Why do I feel so in awe?
"You tell me dressed like that? And then the bra-"
"Didn't you say not to use it? - I smile. - And I don't owe you any explanation anyway. I've told you too much too."
Heeseung looks at me stunned for several seconds, wow.... it's so beautiful already from the morning, it really leaves me at a loss for words. Stop staring at me like that... you're simply irresistible.
"Really?" He asks me, serious.
I swallow confused. "What?"
"You're not going to do anything with him?" He asks again, moving closer to me as his eyes narrow sensually on me.
"Riki is just a k-kid, I d-did tell you." I stammer, unable to ignore the fact that I want him so badly, even at this moment, and he is so close....
He caresses me, the tips of our noses touching. "Wouldn't you like to do that with everyone? - He asks me in a whisper. - Wouldn't you like to be used only by me, all the time?"
Oh fuck. My knees almost give out and how hot all of a sudden.. He notices that I am flustered, but instead of pulling away and letting me catch my breath, he kisses me. He kisses me as usual, using his tongue in such a...dirty...way.
"He...Hees..." He doesn't leave me time to speak.
He squeezes my breasts as he begins greedily licking my neck too, kissing me, biting me. "You can also just be my...little slut."
Damn this little kid! But how can he be horny 9after all the times he... came... last night? And why does he have to be so good, too? Why do I want to sink into him the more I'm in his arms?
"Hees..seung...st...stop..." I moan, he will end up smearing my makeup, and now because of him my nipples are so hard, besides being completely wet.
"You said you won't do it with Niki, right?" He asks again, biting my nipple and making me wince in pain.
"No...I don't."
He knows full well that sucking on my shirt will leave a halo of saliva, but he starts to do it anyway, I plug my mouth as I moan softly. I don't want them to hear us, again.
"I like when you're obedient." He says, amused, as he slips a hand between my legs and begins to masturbate me.
I gasp, embarrassed. "Stop it."
They knock, rather impetuously, too.
Heeseung does not move his hand, in fact, he moves it faster, I cover my mouth with both hands.
"Amanda, come out. We have to go."
"She's coming." Heeseung answers for me, continuing to masturbate shamelessly, while outside poor unsuspecting Riki waits. The door is not closed, but the young man has not opened it.
"S-Sto..." I whisper but eventually only moans come out.
"Look I'm going in in two seconds."
Heeseung sucks on my skin at the level of my collarbone, leaving yet another mark, the deranged man is seriously branding me but I'm letting him, as I enjoy his fingers.
"Where will you go?" Heeseung ask.
"To have fun." He only answers, Niki, and the ace seems to mind his mysteriousness, he's just going faster and faster and deeper with his fingers inside my pussy, as my pleasure wets both my panties and my shorts under my skirt, I'm about to have a clitoral orgasm
What is it that you can't do, Lee Heeseung?
"When are you coming back?" He asks again.
"Who knows."
Heeseung bites my nipple again, hard, it really hurts but then.. he starts sucking on it, continuing to make me enjoy myself, I am upset again because of him. I cling to his shoulders as I come, red in the face and my eyes out of their sockets.
My God.
"All right, I'm coming in, then." He says.
I, startled, push Heeseung away, turning my back and falling to the floor like a damned idiot. "Fuck!" I exclaim.
Niki enters the room, seeing me on the floor, reaches for me and so does Heeseung, both of them suddenly holding out their hands to me. I stand staring at their hands shocked...what the... hell?
"Noona, did he hit you?" Riki spontaneously asks me, as if it were a perfectly probable thing.
The older man looks at him offended and indignant. "Do you want to die?"
"No...I fell, sorry." I say, using my hair to hide my nipples and the damn hickey.
Since I don't take either of their hands, Niki grabs me by the wrists and lifts me up as if I weighed nothing -- lifting me up, however, my chest is totally under his gaze, as are the patches of saliva around my stiff nipples. He looks me in the face and then shakes his head contritely.
"Aish, noona...can't you just be good?"
Would that be my fault? Well, maybe...a little bit.... No! What am I saying!
"Yah, I asked what time are you coming back?"
"I said I don't know." Sighs Riki, placing a hand on my hip, very close to my, uh, ass.
Heeseung, visibly irritated, grabs me by the arm and pulls me away from him. "I saved my number on your phone - he says, moving closer to my ear - I also took some pictures. Don't think strange things and be careful, no one has my number."
Riki doesn't like that we keep talking because he grabs me by the wrist and drags me away, I can only stay staring at Heeseung as long as I'm allowed. Really? Do I have his number now? Lee Heeseung's number?
All while Nishimura Riki drags me along?
Never mind, I'm really starting to believe I'm dreaming.
"So... - I ask, after he gives me his coat, even though it's way too hot to wear it, and after we get into the elevator, we go straight to the parking lot. - What's up?"
He looks at me surprised, then turns around offended. "Don't talk to me, noona."
"W-Why?"
"You were letting Heeseung touch you during my shift."
"This is grown-up stuff, Riki..." I sigh, tired.
"Don't treat me like a child just because you're a few years older."
"Did you want a serious answer?"
He doesn't answer me, he proceeds first and I follow in silence, I think I've annoyed him. I thought Niki was a little less crazy than the others.
Instead I end up being shocked when I see his incredibly attractive driver. He's a really good-looking middle-aged man, I can't stop looking at him... he looks like an actor but he's just Niki's driver.... This is unbelievable.
The man looks at me and I swallow, Niki opens the door behind me and waves me in, I comply.
"Do you really let Heeseung treat you like that? What about Sunghoon? - He asks me, after he too has taken a seat and waved the driver to leave. - Just because you want to fuck them? Or do you just like it because they use you and then insult you?"
I blush at his language, perhaps because I really see him as little more than a teenager. I... I can't honestly deny it, but I refrain. "Niki, I honestly don't get it."
He huffs, is offended but strangely says nothing more and gets on his cell phone. I look at mine and still can't believe I have that fool's number! Does he really? Why does he keep raising the bar?
It will get more and more painful, but for the moment, I am so infatuated with this whole situation that I cannot lucidly draw the obvious conclusions.
During the morning, we stop at two different places, but I practically stay in the car the whole time, alone with the driver...it's very awkward but he remains professional and never turns toward me, so I can observe him the whole time quietly.
By mid-morning I feel deeply bored, moreover, I thought I would enter Hybe but he left me in the car again.
I suddenly remember that Heeseung said he had taken pictures! I run to open the gallery and....
Ah.
Heeseung you are a pig.
Oh my... but this is the first time I've seen him so well, and he's just magnificent. He's got the color of his skin, he's thick and homogeneous, he looks like... sort of like a.. baguette?
Even the fact that he's holding it with that beautiful hand of his, with his thick fingers, while you can see veins on his wrist. Oh my... ok...I'm really turned on.
I close the phone, I just turn it off. Oh my god.
Damn it Lee Heeseung, is that really all you think about? And why the hell do I like it?
I turn it back on shortly after because while waiting I don't know what to do.
When Niki gets back to the car he has two glass, they look like bubble tea - it's actually a japanese drink, so I smile thinking that still he remains a kid from Okayama who likes snacks from his area.
"Here, I didn't know what flavor you preferred so I got a fruit one and a classic - he says, making himself comfortable next to me. - Pick the one you want, I like both."
I love this drink, I like it all ways, however I would actually prefer fruity flavors, I love green tea, in short... I think I have already chosen.
"Can I really?" I ask him, visibly excited.
Riki doesn't answer me right away, just stares at me and then coughs. "Yes."
I take the more colorful glass, then Riki waves the driver to start up again. Wow, this bubble tea is really outstanding, I love the gelatinous texture of these bubbme, I'm really enjoying it. Even Niki notices, as he looks at me amused.
"Do you like it?"
I compose myself, sitting up nicely. "Yes, quite."
"You make a very cute face when you drink it. I'll buy it for you more often."
I smile spontaneously, not only because I like bubble tea but also because it would be nice if Niki and I could be friends, right? Maybe this is the one thing that could maybe actually happen.
"Ah...thank you."
"I'll pick up something from a friend now and then we'll go to lunch." He tells me, looking back at his phone.
I get a message, a shudder thinking it might be Hees.... No, it's Heeseung! He saved himself in the phonebook as "Star boy".
Star boy: What are you doing for lunch, where are you going?
I don't know what to answer - I don't know how I could answer him. Am I still in awe of him despite the fact that he has literally fucked me in every way? What kind of strange chemical reaction is this?
Niki takes the phone out of my hand, looking me annoyed. "I'm talking to you."
"Excuse me! - I answer quickly, surprised by my own reaction. - I don't..."
"Do you want it? - He asks, bringing my cell phone closer to me with one hand. - Why don't you take it?"
It seems playful, joking, I see no harm in it. Although he says it in a terribly sensual way, it's not her fault, it's her silly, deep, sexy voice.
"Come on... - I laugh naively, approaching him and trying to take it but without too much agonism, I know he'll give it back to me in a little while. - Don't be like that, I swear I won't use it-" I paralyze myself seeing him shove it inside his jeans.
"Come on, noona, take it."
Out of the corner of my eye I look at the driver, this time, from the mirror I see he's looking at me too. Oh no, what! What is Niki doing in front of this man? In fact, what is Niki just doing!
"Riki but what are you... are you doing?" I laugh, nervous, uncomfortable.
"Do you want a hand? - He asks me, then unbuttons his own flap. - Here, you do the rest."
"L-Look, I'm much older than you! And then - I whisper - in front of this man?"
Niki grabs me by the waist, pulling me closer to him, then starts squeezing my nipples, and I like an idiot do nothing to stop him, while the driver, keeps looking at us.
"Stop it Niki!"
"Just call me Riki, noona." Says the kid, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his cock, I feel the phone.
"Look.. I.. - I try to talk but he kisses my neck and he's really good for just a little kid. - Ri..Riki..."
"You like it, don't you? - He asks, amused by my humiliation, here's yet another sadist. He pulls away my phone and insert my hand in its place, forcing me to move it along his erection to give him pleasure. - You really like it."
"No... Riki I don't want to." I try to force myself, pulling away but he prevents me and I realize he is laughing, laughing heartily.
"Noona... why are you resisting? You know too that the only thing you want is to be fucked all the time...do you want to refuse today? That's fine with me, but next week I'll fuck you twice as hard, to the point where you won't even be able to stay up."
E-Eh?
Did I really hear... did I really hear right? Is this guy with the expression of a mad kid in front of me really serious? Judging by how hard he is, I think so.
"Noona... you're here to let me use you too, and I'm looking forward to it. If you fight it, it's just more fun for me.. in fact, maybe you should do it."
NEXT CHAPTER:
THE ENHYPEN HOST TEXTs || 1
|| Reverse harem || ft. TXT, Mingyu (Seventeen) & BTS
after the events of chapter 14...
■ TIME: 12:52 pm - 00:23 am
ATTENTION:
tumblr decided to throw down chapter 14, so i thought i'd inaugurate this... series? (also because i have a lot of good ideas for this project)
please, if you can interact with chapter 14 maybe you can help me fix the algorithm
i also remind you that english is not my first language andi have very difficulty translating by myself, so i apologize for all the errors 🙏🏻
If you want start the story:
before the special chapter is published, there will be another TEXT :) hope you enjoy
• NEXT FF CHAPTER:
• NEXT TEXTs CHAPTER:
I died-
Tidal Waves
siren!lee heeseung x reader [afab]
genre: smut
concept: you've spent your whole life on the water. it's a part of you, it's who you are. at this point, it feels like the ocean is an old friend and there's nothing left in it that you don't know. how wrong you are...
w/c: 11.2k
warning: siren au, monster au, boating, water / open water, attempted / almost drowning, sea creature, tentacles; sexually explicit content; dub con, fingering, light oral play (f. receiving), monster tongue, tentacle sex, clit / nipple play, inhuman genitalia (mentions of a sheath / concealed genitals), unprotected sex, mentions of squirting, creampie
Standing out on the bow, you breath in the salty sea air greedily. The air is hot and thick, balmy with the sea breeze as the weather turns. It’s so close to boating season you can almost taste it, eager to get out on the water again. The ocean laps at the front of the boat, beckoning it forward into the waves, the ropes tying it to the dock keeping it from floating out into open water. You sigh softly to yourself, letting your eyes scan the marina, knowing you aren’t the only one excited to get out there.
“Ready to go?” Jay asks, and you turn away from the water reluctantly. “C’mon, it’s getting late,” he tells you, reaching a hand out towards you. You reluctantly take the hand offered to you, climbing off the railing off the boat. The sailboat, despite being in good condition, creaks as you step down, using Jay’s grip on your hand to balance yourself as you come down. Your sneakered feet hit the deck and he lets go, nodding to the dock. “Let’s get going,” he tells you and you tuck your hands into the front pocket of your windbreaker.
The ocean glitters silver and gold as the sun coasts down towards the horizon, you and your cousin stepping off the boat and onto the dock. Jungwon and Sunoo are already waiting for the two of you, the four of you having spent the whole day cleaning up the boat to get it sea ready for when you’re allowed to take it out onto the ocean.
You and Jay grew up here, right on the ocean, only growing up a couple of houses away from one another. Without any siblings of your own, you grew up more like siblings than cousins, running back and forth to each other’s houses, playing in the mud and the beach and the marina. The marina, that you’ve called home ever since you were young enough to climb aboard a boat. Your home away from home, the rocking of the boat, the salty smell of the ocean familiar and comforting.
Your family are sailors, at least they used to be. A long, long time ago. Now half the marina practically belongs to your family, having taken ownership of the docks some several generations ago. You and Jay are the heirs in a long line of sea-bearing folk, the kind of people who just can’t imagine their lives away from the ocean. The two of you have been around boats your whole lives, and this sailboat is Jay’s, the first of many you’re sure. A 20th birthday gift from your parents and his, more cherished to him than his own car.
As the weather turns towards hot days and warmer nights you fully expect to spend long days out on the ocean with Jay, and your two best friends Jungwon and Sunoo, old school friends of yours. You have no doubts that as soon as Jay’s able to break away from the dock, that’s all you’re going to be doing. It’s half the reason you’ve been so eager to help him with his boat, you don’t have one of your own yet (your parents keep hinting that maybe this year will be the year) but Jay would never leave you stranded on land. And thank God for that.
“When do you think, hyung?” Jungwon asks, falling into step with Jay as the four of you head towards the parking lot along the edge of the water, further and further away from the siren’s call of the ocean.
“Next week,” he says assuredly and Jungwon grins, his dimples digging into his cheeks. “She’s almost ready, she just needs a little more work. I’ll spend every day on her if I have to.”
“Count me in,” you tell him and he glances over his shoulder at you, smiling. “Hey, if I help we can get her sea worthy twice as fast. I’d kill for that.”
“Never met two people so obsessed with the ocean,” Sunoo comments, tipping his head back to stare up at the sky. “You guys act like you’ll die if you don’t get to be on the water.”
“Maybe we will,” Jay retorts. “We’re sea bearing folk, Sunoo-yah.”
“You have legs, don’t you?” He retorts, dropping his head back down to look critically at Jay. Jay rolls his eyes, climbing the stairs up to the parking lot.
You follow them with a light laugh, pausing at the top of the stairs. You turn to look out at the ocean again, watching the waves rise up, crest and then fall back down. It’s a calm day on the ocean, the boats all shift quietly against their docks, ropes twisting slightly in the breeze. You take in another deep breath, smiling softly to yourself as you let your eyes scan the horizon.
A dark shape catches your attention, out of the corner of your eye. You turn your head towards it, seeing what looks almost like a figure along a rock formation at the edge of the marina. You lean forward, curling your fingers around the railing of the stairs to steady yourself, squinting your eyes to try and figure out what it is. People don’t swim in the marina, it’s too dangerous with all the boats and other sea vehicles around. But it looks so much like a person.
The sun is nearly on the horizon now, casting the form you’re looking at into shadow, a black mass that looks like the head and shoulders of a person. You can’t make out any specific features but it moves suddenly, twisting like it can feel your eyes on it. When it does, you flinch back, surprised by the sudden movement, only for it to drop down into the water, submerging itself in the waves. It disappears just like that, causing you to blink hard, shaking your head, unsure of what you just saw.
“Yah, Y/N!” Jay calls out and you turn away from the railing. “C’mon, my appa’s expecting us,” he reminds you. You nod in agreement, stepping away from the stairs, jogging over to meet them at the car.
Out in the water, the figure lifts their eyes just above the water, watching your figure run away from the railing. You disappear and they slip underneath the waves.
The four of you end up on the water within the week, thanks to yours and Jay’s tenacity. The two of you manage to pull the boat together in just a few days, new ropes, a clean deck, even washing down the outside of her. Her name, ORANGE FLOWER, gleams golden where it’s been painted onto the hull. Jay grins at you, just as excited about getting on the water as you.
When you get out onto the water, the day is perfect. Sun high, water blue and calm, a warm breeze weaving through the air, tossing your hair around. You sit out on the bow as Jay starts the boat up to take the four of you out. Jungwon and Sunoo both cheer when she turns over easily, Jay guiding the white and orange boat out into the water confidently. You glance back over at your cousin, finding him through the windshield, his sunglasses over his eyes, leaning back in his seat like he’s done this a thousand times. At this point, he might have.
The bow cuts through the water like nothing, leaving a wide wake of foam behind you. The coast gets further and further away and you lean back, arms on the railing, the sun on your face. This is what the summer is to you, the ocean beneath you, the purr of your cousin’s boat and not a single thing that you need to be doing otherwise.
Once in open water, Jay and Jungwon go about the exact thing they came out here to do, and that’s fish. You’re not much for fishing but it’s an old sailor's pastime, so while they try to reel in a catch, you and Sunoo decide to do some sunbathing on the deck. The sun beams down on you brightly, but the ocean breeze keeps you from getting uncomfortably hot as the two of you lay down on the deck together, sunglasses on and coated in a layer of sun screen.
The ocean rocks the boat slightly, a lullaby that’s almost enough to take you under. You fight the urge to sleep, knowing better than to fall asleep under a full sun. It’s too familiar, too comforting, you relax against your towel, thinking about how these days are so fleeting.
A sudden lurch to the starboard side causes you to sit up, Sunoo as well. The two of you glance back towards the stern.
“Not us!” Jungwon calls out from the back of the boat. You immediately get up to look, leaning over the railing to see if you can see whatever bumped the boat. It felt big, a little too big for your own comfort, Jungwon and Sunoo quickly doing the same while Jay starts the boat. Better safe than sorry, if you guys have managed to park near a particularly aggressive fish.
You don’t think there’s many fish in this area that are big enough to lurch a boat this size though so you’re not quite sure what might be doing it. You push your glasses up to the top of your head, searching around the water while Jay pulls out a little further. Sunoo and Jungwon both depart from the side of the boat, content with Jay taking them away from where you previously were but you can’t stop yourself from looking around in the water, still trying to figure it out.
As you pull away, you lift your gaze to see something rise up out of the water. You squint, trying to see it better despite the way Jay is pulling you away quickly. It’s a… person. This far out? You blink hard, sure you’re seeing things but it’s undeniably human, with golden skin and red hair. The further you get the harder it is to see them until they’re too small to make out any features and they slip back beneath the waves.
“Did you see it?” Sunoo asks, and you tear your gaze from the ocean to see Sunoo at your shoulder. “What hit the boat?” He elaborates and you open your mouth only to close it, shaking your head.
“No,” you tell him. “I thought I did but… we’re too far away now.”
“Must’ve been big,” Sunoo comments, walking away from you, towards the helm.
“Yeah,” you agree. “Must’ve been.”
You manage to convince yourself that it wasn’t a person. The boat was far enough out that it would’ve been nearly impossible for someone to swim out to you, no matter the calmness of the water. You definitely saw something, you’re just not quite sure what it was. It doesn’t matter though, nothing else hit the boat all day long and when Jay brought the boat back into port that night you all went home a little tanner than you started the day, sporting a pretty decent haul of fish. It was a good day and you don’t want to sully that with whatever strange hallucination you might’ve had out in the ocean. You drink two gatorades that night to fight dehydration and ignore it.
You don’t go back out on the ocean until a week later, and the weather isn’t nearly as nice. It’s still good for a day out but the sky is overcast and the ocean is a little less clear and calm. Still, you and Jay persist to spend some time out on the ocean, Jungwon and Sunoo sitting this one out.
Really, the only reason you and Jay are willing to go out on a day like this is because you’ve both had a long week. Your parents have been harping on the both of you consistently, complaining about the fact that the two of you only seem to care about the ocean, about boating, when you should be thinking more seriously about your futures. The two of you met at the marina and didn’t even have to say anything to each other before descending the stairs and climbing aboard the old sailboat, ready to take on the ocean no matter what the weather looked like.
“Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?” Jay comments, guiding the boat out into open water. You’re sitting in his copilot's seat today, knees pulled up, feet on the edge of the chair. You look over at him. “They raised us. They brought us out to the marina almost every day when we were kids. They didn’t really think we wouldn’t want to do this, did they?” You snort to yourself, looking back out the windshield. “It’s who we are now.”
“I know,” you agree. “You ever think you could live away from the ocean?”
“Never,” Jay answers you immediately. “I’m not built like that.”
“Me neither,” you reply.
You’re well out in open water by the time Jay has stopped the boat, and you get out of the seat, out from behind the safe walls of the helm, walking out onto the deck. The clouds are moving in faster now but neither of you pay it any mind as Jay joins you at the bow of the ship, sitting down at the edge of the railing. It’s already starting to get late, you can’t be out too late or your parents are both going to be furious with you, but you’ll stay out as long as you dare, breathing in the ocean and letting the gentle sound of rolling waves calm you down.
The boat rocks suddenly, a little harder than if it was just the waves, and Jay climbs off the bow to get back behind the wheel. You move to get off the bow, but the boat suddenly lurches again, causing your foot to slip out from underneath you.
“Jay!” You scream, and he turns just in time to watch you fall off the bow. He scrambles across the deck to try and grab you but he’s too late. You splash down into the water, right into the swirling waves.
“Fuck,” he curses, pulling his jacket off to dive into the water after you.
You know how to swim, of course you do. You grew up on the water, you’re a very strong, capable swimmer, but it’s hard to get your bearings as the water tosses you around, the waves throwing you around like you weigh nothing at all. The weight of your clothes isn’t helping, your jeans tight to your skin, your windbreaker practically strangling you as you try to turn over and find which way is up. You’re thankful for the hand that grabs your arm, hauling you up to the surface.
You cling to Jay, trying to catch your breath as he tows you back towards the boat. You try to keep up with him, still weighed down by your clothes and the water. He’s just gotten to the ladder on the side of the boat, trying to pull you up with him when something wraps around your ankle, pulling you down.
You scream, trying to cling to Jay’s hand, pulling yourself up and Jay reaches down to take both of your hands but whatever has you is stronger. Whatever it is, it tightens its grip around your ankle, pulling harder and harder. Jay struggles to pull you from the water but he can’t. A slithery, slippery feeling wraps higher and higher up your leg, until it’s tangled around your knee, nearly your thigh and you can’t hold onto Jay any longer.
Your wet hands slip from his and you fall beneath the surface again. You’re tugged beneath the roiling waves, further and further, until the surface is distant and warped. You can’t breathe, you’re panicking, looking around frantically for what might have you.
When you look at your leg you see a long, red tentacle wrapped all the way up your leg, suckers pressing down into your jeans, the strong muscles flexing under the slick skin. You reach down to try and wedge it off of you, but you’re getting weak, your struggling has left you too tired to fight back. As it is, you can’t breathe and the lack of oxygen is bringing you further and further down, your vision blurring at the edges.
You hit the floor of the ocean, sand and rocks under your body, under your hands. The tentacle deftly unwraps from around your leg but you’re too tired to swim up. Your eyes fall shut, the world going black around you.
You come to, coughing up salty ocean water, turning over to try to spit it all up. Your body aches, your lungs burn as you try to take in a deep breath, chest heaving. You roll back onto your back once you can breathe again, too weak to even try and get up. You blink up at the sky, which has turned dark, stars staring down at you. You’re lying on sand, you can feel it underneath you, sticking to your wet body, getting in your hair and all over your clothes. You swallow around the sickness in your stomach, not sure you’re not going to throw up. Your head is still spinning, you drop your head back against the sand, trying to calm the racing of your heart, closing your eyes.
“Don’t do that,” a soft voice advises and you blink your eyes open again. The night sky is blocked out by a dark, shadowy figure leaning over the top of you. “You might fall asleep. And I don’t really want to have to bring you back to shore again if you get washed out to sea.”
“Again?” You croak.
“Again,” they whisper. Gentle fingers brush over your cheek as they hum softly. “It’d be an awful shame for something as beautiful as you to get swept out to sea. I’m sure your family would miss you terribly.”
“My—” You sit up suddenly, startling them away from you. “Jay! He must be so worried.”
“Don’t worry,” they say, but there’s a disappointed curl to their full lips. Their full lips that you can see now that you’re both sitting up. “He’s fine. I’m sure by now everyone’s looking for you. It won’t be long now.”
The words they say go completely over your head as you take in their face. They’re undeniably handsome, with cherry red hair that falls into their eyes messily, still damp looking from the water. Their eyes are big and round, the most curious shade of dark gray. Your eyes travel over their high cheekbones, perfect nose that tapers to a soft point, their full, pink lips. Your gaze drifts down to the rest of them, their expression softening into one of intrigue as they lean back to let you get a better look at them.
“Oh my god,” you gasp, finally taking them in in their entirety. Past their long neck, beautifully sculpted chest and toned stomach their golden skin melts into slippery, slick skin, the same cherry red as their hair. Past their hips is nothing but a messy tangle of tentacles, each adorned with suckers from base to tip. Your eyes run up and down their body, unable to believe what you’re looking at. A tentacle nudges your still sneaker clad foot, causing you to reflexively pull away. When you look back at their face they smile at you, with a mouthful of sharp teeth. Your breath catches.
“What’s wrong?” They coo. “Not quite the prince charming you were hoping I would be.” They lean further over you, arms coming up to cage you against the sand. You stare up at them with wide eyes as they lean over you. You can feel their tentacles crawling over your jean clad legs, the memory of being pulled beneath the waves rising up in your mind. “You must be disappointed,” they tease you, two of their long, slick extremities around your ankles.
“You pulled me under. You didn’t save me,” you say and they lift a brow at you. “You’re the reason I almost drowned.”
“I wouldn’t have killed you,” they assure you, lifting a hand to brush their fingers over your cheek again. “I don’t kill people. Why would I? What would I get out of it?” They sigh, letting their fingers trace your jaw, down the side of your neck. “Letting you live, we both win.”
“How do you win?” You ask, voice shaking. They smile down at you, gently cupping the side of your neck.
“Are you not dangerously curious about me?” They ask. When they lean down, your breath catches again, their face so close you can feel the ghost of their breath over your lips and cheeks. “Or am I not interesting enough for you?”
“Wh- what are you?” You finally gasp out.
“I knew you’d ask,” they whisper, grinning down at you. “But it seems I don’t have the time.” You turn your head when he lifts his head, eyes sliding to the side. There are flashlights darting across the sand, a collection of tall crags and rocks still keeping the two of you hidden for a little while longer as they call out your name. When you turn back to them, they pull back, tentacles releasing your legs. “If you’re still curious, I’m sure you’ll find me again,” they tell you. They depart from you entirely, sliding down the sand and into the water.
“Wait—!” You call out but they disappear from view, into the inky abyss of the ocean. You can’t see them any longer and the voices and flashlights are getting closer. You turn towards them, struggling to get to your feet so you can meet them. You glance once more over your shoulder, sure you can feel their eyes on you even if you can’t see them. You swallow down your feeling of unease, stepping out from around the rocks to meet the search party.
Everyone is, understandably, shocked and overjoyed that you’re okay. Jay cries on you, which might be the most emotion you’ve ever seen your cousin portray over you, when he meets you in the marina parking lot, which is less than a mile from the beach you washed up on. The beach that is coated in rock and crags, with only scarce sections of sand with enough room for you to wash up on.
“You’re really lucky you didn’t get torn up on those rocks,” the medic that patches you up in the parking lot of the marina tells you, your legs hanging over the end of the ambulance. “You got out of that with very few scratches. I’m surprised.” Your hands are torn up, parts of your clothes too, but you’re nearly entirely unharmed otherwise.
“Yeah,” you agree. “I got really lucky.”
Some people start throwing around the word ‘miracle’ and you start to wonder if they’re right. After, you don’t know what else you would call that… creature that saved you.
Well, “saved” you.
Your parents hardly let you out of their sight for at least a week after your “accident,” and you’re banned from the marina for at least two. You nearly threw a fit, being forced to stay away from the water feels like a death sentence, you can’t stand the idea of it.
“You nearly drowned!” Your mother reasoned.
“And I’ve been on boats countless times! This has never happened before! It was just an accident.”
“An accident that could very well happen again. You’re not going to the marina.”
They only allow you to go to the beach, a mile from the marina, during clear days. It’s a small consolation but the first day you can finally get out of the house and to the beach, by yourself, is a god sent. You feel like you can breathe again when you see the clear blue water, when you smell the salty sea air, when you feel the balmy ocean breeze on your skin again. You’re eager to get in the water again, even if it is only on the beach.
The beach in question is quiet. It’s not much of a destination, being mostly covered in rocks and crags, little tide pools along the edge, small sections of sand being the only beachy parts. Still, it’s better than nothing. You wander over the crags with careful feet, your beach bag hanging from your shoulder, sunglasses on top of your head.
You find the place where you “washed up” easily enough, even if it does look different in the daytime. You plop yourself down on the sand, looking out at the ocean, letting the sound of the waves and the birds overhead calm you down. You feel like you again, a full two weeks away from the ocean starting to make you feel insane. Even in the winter time you find yourself at the edge of the water, watching the waves crash against the coast even if you can’t be in it.
Part of you hopes you see them again. You have so many questions, even more reservations, but they weren’t wrong. You are so curious about them, what they are, what they want. Your eyes start to scan the horizon, almost hoping that you see their familiar figure again, the cut of their broad shoulders against the sky, their vivid red hair appearing out of the blue ocean. You don’t see them though and you pull your legs up towards your chest, wrapping your arms around them as you look a little further around you.
When you look to the right, you see a cordoned off area, yellow and black rope with a sign warning people to KEEP OUT, HIGH TIDE COVE. There are a lot of places around here like that, when the tide comes it can completely submerge the floor, the caves and coves around the beaches, making them dangerous to swimmers and beach goers. You, however, look past the sign to the cove it’s blocking off, the wall of rock that’s carved into a slight arch, the cliff overhead hanging above it. You can’t see much inside, it’s a well disguised hole in the wall of the beach. Carefully, you get to your feet.
You walk across the hot sand, glancing around to make sure no one sees you. There’s hardly anyone around, only a few people much, much further down, by the actual sandy, beachy areas of the coastline, families and couples playing in the water. You turn back towards the rope, ducking underneath it.
The rocks here are sharper, more difficult to navigate, but you manage to get over them and not hurt yourself, shimmying around the wall of rock that separates the cove from the rest of the beach. You’re not quite sure what you expect to find over here, but this seems as good a place as any for some kind of mythical creature to be hiding out in plain sight.
It’s damp and cool, blocked out from the sun with the cave walls around either side, the cliff overhead that reaches out towards the sea, a towering section of rock in front of the opening of the cave keeping the cliff up above suspended. The rocky floor is worn smooth here from high tide and you wander around, looking at the way the water laps at the edge of the cove. You can see where the stone slowly descends down into the waters, only to abruptly drop off not far from the edge. You wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly chilled as a breeze floats through. It’s while you’re looking up at the high ceiling of the cave when you hear something in the water.
You turn back to see the water rippling, splashing against the stone, only for something to rise out of the waves. Your heart lodges itself in your throat when you see them again, red hair and golden skin, pushing their hair away from their face as they heave themselves up onto the ledge of rock. They haven’t even noticed you yet, shaking themselves off as they run their hands over their face, wiping water from their eyes.
You shuffle towards them, going still when they suddenly stop moving. Abruptly, they turn towards you, startling you. You take a reflexive step back, a smile slowly making their way across their lips.
“Hello, beautiful,” they greet you. “I’d started to think you’d forgotten about me.”
Forgotten about them? Never. Impossible even, the idea that you might forget about whatever they are. It’s not every day you’re saved by a human… octopus… thing. Nearly every day you’ve thought about them, the desire to see the water nearly as bad as to figure out just what they are.
“No,” you assure them and their smile gets bigger, sharp teeth on full display. “Uh… you never…” you walk closer, hesitantly. Turning towards you, their bottom half slips beneath the water again, making them appear almost human. You walk even closer, until you’re right in front of them. They look up at you from under their lashes and you carefully lower yourself down, sitting in front of them, your beach bag, sunglasses and sandals set aside. “You never told me what you are,” you finish, folding your legs up against your chest.
“No, I didn’t,” they agree. “But wouldn’t you like to know my name first?” They offer.
“Yes,” you agree. A name would certainly humanize them a little. You can’t keep thinking of them as a creature forever.
“It’s Heeseung,” he practically purrs, leaning against the rock ledge. “And you are?”
“Y/N,” you reply.
“What a pretty name,” he tells you and you smile softly, shyly. “And you came back to see me? Well, I can’t say I’m not honored,” he says, reaching out to touch your ankle gently. You bite your lip as he runs the backs of his fingers up and down your shin gently. “But you came here for answers, didn’t you?” He lifts himself slightly out of the water, exposing where his human form meets his animal half, your breath catching when two tentacles snake out of the water, one of them replacing his fingers on your skin. You resist the urge to flinch away and he smiles at you. “Curious, aren’t you?”
“I… have so many questions,” you admit and he leans further over the rocks, tilting his head at you.
“Humans are so curious about everything,” he says. “It’s an admirable quality. It’s what brought you to me, after all.” He hums, lifting his eyes up as he thinks. “Well, there’s no actual answer as to what I am. I’m sure I’m far from the prince charming depiction humans have made others like me out to be,” he sighs. “What do you call them? Mermaids?” He teases you and you nod a bit shyly, still painfully aware of his tentacle stroking over your leg.
“That’s… close, I guess,” you admit. “But you don’t look anything like that.”
“No, I’m a little more… monstrous,” he says. The tentacle touching you suddenly wraps around your leg, pulling you to the edge of the pool. You yelp, surprised to suddenly be dragged towards him. With you much closer to him Heeseung leans in, your legs suddenly submerged in the water up to your knees. Your breath catches, your hands grabbing the stone to keep yourself upright. The tentacle weaves its way further up your leg, to your knee, stroking along the outside of it instead, the suckers pressing into your bare skin. “Are you scared of me, beautiful?”
You should be, you think. Those tentacles of his are far too strong, obviously he can do whatever he wants with you. And those teeth, they’re so sharp and mildly disconcerting, it sort of worries you what he would even need teeth like that for. You’re clearly at his mercy like this, you should probably be more scared of him. But for some reason, the humanity in Heeseung’s eyes, the gentle way he touches you, the sweet way he speaks to you, it doesn’t scare you. You’re not afraid of him.
“No,” you admit and he smirks.
“How sweet,” he comments. “Creatures like me go by many names, and we’ve been confused with lots of other things too. Krakens, for example, monstrous things they are. I’m not that dangerous though.” He shifts to rest one arm on the other side of you, caging you against the stone. You swallow but don’t push him away, not that you think you could. Instead, you part your knees and he slips between them immediately, leaning up towards you with that dastardly little smirk on his lips. “No, I think humans mostly refer to things like me as… sirens.” He whispers and your heart stutters in your chest.
Sirens. Sirens, creatures known to sing songs so alluring no one could ever deny them. They’re particularly well known for drawing sailors to their deaths, be it from crashing their boats into cliffs or literally eating them. To say that you suddenly feel less safe in his grasp would be a devastating understatement but Heeseung merely tilts his head at you, still smirking.
“Did I say something wrong?” He teases you, clearly knowing exactly what you’re thinking.
“You said you don’t kill people,” you say and he hums in agreement. “You don’t… eat them, do you?”
“Eat them? Not in any literal sense,” he replies. “No, I’m afraid that any eating I do is a bit more… metaphorical.” His hands touch your thighs, gently easing them further apart. Your breath catches as you realize his meaning, his hands drifting inward, between your legs. “Oh, you do understand what I’m saying, don’t you?” Heeseung teases, pressing the backs of two of his fingers against the crotch of your swim bottoms.
The knuckles of his fingers drag up and down the center of your bottoms, pressing right into your clit every time he strokes back up. You will yourself to stay still, not wanting to play right into his hands. Is this what sirens are actually like? Supposedly sirens are supposed to be unimaginably beautiful, or at the very least, glamoured to be beautiful. Irresistible, even. Heeseung certainly fits the bill, so is this what they really want?
“So all those stories, about sirens, they’re all—”
“Did you really think they were true?” Heeseung asks, looking at you from under his lashes. “Beautiful, they’re nothing but wise tales, folklore. It’s a nasty thing they did to us, humans. I guess it’s just easier to portray us as the bad guys when the alternative is…” The tentacle around your leg suddenly comes unraveled, instead sliding across the stone to wrap around your wrists. You gasp as both of your wrists are tightly held, pulling you closer to him. Heeseung leans up towards your face, smiling in the most sinister of ways. “They’d have to admit they rather enjoyed everything we did to them.”
Your breath comes out in heavy pants as he hooks his fingers under the material of your swim bottom, pulling them aside. Cool air ghosts over your bare cunt, making you shiver. He leans back to look, humming softly.
“I’ll never quite understand it, the way a human’s sex is so vulnerable. Why, it takes nothing at all for me to touch it.” Heeseung demonstrates this point by running his fingertips up and down your slit, which is getting wetter by the second. You struggle against the tentacles holding your wrists, Heeseung tsking softly. “Now, now, don’t struggle. I’ll make you feel good, beautiful,” he assures you, lifting his other hand to spread you open. You whimper as he exposes you to him, catching his lower lip between his sharp teeth. “It’s been too long since I’ve been with a human. I almost forgot how wet you get.” He spreads your slick around where it’s leaking from your hole, then carefully eases his fingers inside of you.
You gasp, hips jerking as you’re filled with his thick fingers. Heeseung looks up at you, studying your expressions as he pushes in and in and in until his fingers knuckle deep inside of you. You’re warm and wet inside, your eyelids are fluttering, chest heaving as pleasure courses through you. It’s almost painful, the way you’re stretched around him with such little prep, but so satisfying at the same time.
Slowly, agonizingly, Heeseung pulls his fingers back out, only to slowly push them back in. You can feel the texture of his fingers, the bumps of his knuckles as he slowly fingers you. His attention bounces between the expressions you make, eyes rolling, mouth opening, soft moans spilling from your lips, and the way your cunt stretches to accommodate him. More and more fluid comes from your pussy, lubricating the slide, pooling around the base of his fingers the longer it goes on. You try to cant your hips up against his hand, but a pair of tentacles slither their way around your legs, all the way up to your thighs, keeping you pinned down against the stone. You whine, unable to move.
“It’s important to be patient, beautiful,” Heeseung tells you, spreading his fingers inside of you. Your gasp, pleasure surging through you as he stretches your cunt out further. “I don’t want to rush this. It’s been far too long since I’ve been able to touch a human. And you are more beautiful than anything I’ve seen before.” He leans down towards your cunt, making you freeze up.
Those teeth. God, he’s not really going to put his mouth on you with those sharp teeth is he. You try to squirm away but his tentacles are far too strong, keeping you immobile as he presses his lips to your clit. It sends sparks through you, up your spine and down through your legs, arousal pooling heavily in your hips. He looks up at you from under his lashes, sucking softly at your clit. Trembling, shaking pleasure consumes you as he keep fucking his fingers in and out of you, faster and faster as he laves his tongue over your clit.
“Oh, fuck,” you whimpers. “Heeseung.” His eyes glimmer with satisfaction, having been waiting to hear you break. Your desperate little plea is enough to have him aching but he won’t touch himself. Not now, not when he’s got you right where he wants you. He can’t risk scaring you off like that, he’ll take his time.
When he pulls back from your cunt, he licks your slick from his lips, still thrusting his fingers in and out of you. When he looks at your face your eyes are glazed with pleasure, lips bitten pink from your own teeth, lips parted as sweet pants and moans drip from your mouth. Heeseung can’t help himself, he wants a taste of your pretty little mouth, so he pushes forward, pressing his lips to yours.
You moan into his lips, Heeseung’s free hand gripping your hips as he kisses you with reckless abandon. Hardly ever has he had such a perfect little human. Usually he has to take what he wants, or sing until his throat hurts, or offer endless, beautiful sentiment just to get them to spread their legs. But you, never you. You came to him. You walked right into his arms, right between his writhing tentacles, asking for more. It’s never been easier.
He resists the urge to bite, no matter how much he wants to, instead letting his tongue snake into your mouth. You suck on his long, dextrous tongue, letting it press as deeply into your mouth as he desires. He fucks his fingers into your cunt, curling them up, pressing hard into your front wall until you’re crying out into his lips, hips jerking against his hand.
You come all over his fingers, Heeseung pulling away from your lips to look. You milky release coats his fingers, and the stone beneath you, dripping towards the ledge. When he pulls his fingers out, slowly, he can feel the ache in his own hips. He wants you, so badly he can barely stand it. When he shifts, a small groan making its way out of his lips, your eyes dart from where they were also looking between your legs to his face.
“You’re turned on,” you say and Heeseung closes his eyes, as though to try and calm himself down. “I don’t know… uhm… how to…”
“Don’t worry about me, beautiful. I think even you might scare if you were to see me like that,” Heeseung tells you. He opens his eyes and looks at you, bringing his fingers up to his lips. You watch as he puts them into his mouth, sucking your cum right off of them. He moans, and twisting up against the edge of the ledge. Once clean, he lets them slide out from between his lips. “Fuck, you taste so good.”
“Can I help you? In… some way?” You offer. “I don’t know how but…” He touches your face gently, tilting your head back gently.
“You have no idea what you are asking for,” he warns you, voice soft. “The things I want to do to you are beyond your wildest imaginations, beautiful.” He doesn’t let go of you but the tentacles around your legs uncoil. You can feel the places where they once were, where the suckers were pressed against your skin. Slowly, they snake their way up your legs, along the insides, touching the soft, sensitive skin of the insides of your thighs. You gasp and Heeseung smirks, watching you with intent eyes as the tip of one of his tentacles prods at your still leaking and pulsing entrance. “Are you starting to understand the depth of the things I want from you?” He asks, the pointed tip of the other swirling around your clit.
This is where you should leave. You have a feeling this is your out. If you stay, Heeseung might do things you’ve only seen depicted in raunchy hentai, he’s going to do things to you you’ve genuinely never even considered being possible. If you want to leave this cove with any sort of dignity intact, you should back out right now. But even as Heeseung watches the indecision in your eyes and gently removes his tentacles from around your wrists, allowing you to make as hasty an exit as you want, you don’t.
“Yes,” you agree.
“So?”
“So, go ahead.”
He doesn’t even move, still holding you gently by the face as the tentacle at your entrance pushes forward, burying itself inside of you. A gasp is torn from your lungs, your eyes rolling back as you’re filled in a way you have genuinely never experienced before. You grab at his shoulder and wrist, clutching hard enough that it must hurt, digging your nails into his skin as the tentacle inside of you writhes around, suckers dragging against the walls of your pussy like living, flexing ribbing. As it starts to fuck you pleasure rips through you like never before, hot and aching and molten in your veins.
“That’s it,” Heeseung whispers, but even his voice sounds strangled now. “You’re being so good for me.” The tentacle at your clit attaches a sucker to it, pulsing and writhing, pulling and prodding. Your clit throbs, the stimulation nearly too much. You’re tearing up, your body is quaking, shivering as Heeseung holds you, other tentacles moving to hold your legs and waist, keeping you still so you can be used. So he can keep playing with you, filling you over and over again, toying with your body.
“Too much,” you gasp out, your cunt clenching and unclenching around the intrusion. Your walls are sensitive from your previous orgasm and the tentacle inside of you has managed to find your g spot or your cervix or something inside of you that’s causing wave after mind flaying wave of pleasure pulse through you with every intense thrust.
“You said you wanted it,” Heeseung whispers. “Go on then. Take it.”
You shake through the orgasm that’s suddenly ripped from you, the sucker on your clit squeezing and tugging, your cunt spasming through the relentless pounding of the organ inside of you. Your eyes roll back in your head, only a helpless little whimper leaving you as you come. You’re distantly aware of the gush of liquid leaving you, spilling all over the stone and covering the tentacle that is fucking up into you. You think it’s still going on but all you can hear is the rush of your blood in your veins and all you can see is whiteness encroaching on your vision.
Heeseung breathes out, as though also having reached some kind of relief from fucking you so hard you can’t barely move. Carefully, he lowers you down to the stone, pulling his tentacles back, slipping them beneath the water’s surface. You try to catch your breath as Heeseung leans down over the top of you, pressing soft kisses to your neck and chest.
“You did so well for me, beautiful,” he coos and you feel inexplicably warm and proud. “Such a good girl for me, taking me first try.” His hands find your waist, soothingly running up and down the sides of it. “You’re so much more than I ever imagined.”
“Was it good for you?” You whisper, hoping to have brought him some kind of satisfaction. Heeseung smiles down at you.
“It was amazing,” he assures you.
When you feel like you can finally move, you climb to your feet, retrieving your bag from where you left it nearby. When Heeseung thinks you’re not looking, he reaches down into the water, grasping at something. You can’t see it, but when you turn fully towards him again, he’s leaning against the ledge once more. You get down to your knees in front of him, gently touching his cheek. His dark gray eyes widen in surprise.
“Can I see you again?” You ask and Heeseung smiles softly.
“You know where to find me, beautiful,” he tells you. You lean forward, kissing him softly. Heeseung kisses you back sweetly, licking once at the seam of your lips. When you pull back, he smiles at you again. “You won’t leave me waiting such a long time again, will you?” He teases.
“I’ll try not to.”
As you go to leave, straightened up as best you can be after getting railed by literal tentacles, you head for the wall of the cove. You step out around the edge and then pause, waiting for a second. Your curiosity continues to be piqued and you wait, listening. After a few seconds, you’re rewarded with the sound of soft, gasping moans and you peer back around the edge of the wall.
Heeseung is still partially submerged in the water, but he’s lying on the edge now, tentacles in the water, bare back on the stone. His head is thrown back against the floor, eyes closed, soft melodious moans spilling from his full lips, his hand down between his tentacles.
From your angle, you can’t see what he’s doing, but his extremities are writhing, his back arching when he does something that must be particularly pleasurable. It’s frustrating not knowing what exactly it is that Heeseung is doing to pleasure himself but you’re going to find out what it is. He said that it might scare you but, clearly, you’re not easily scared. The next time you come back here, you’re going to figure it out and you’re going to make him feel the insane ecstasy that he’s already given you.
You don’t come back until a week later, and the weather is less than stellar. It makes you hesitant to go out towards the beach, after what happened last time, though you aren’t not convinced Heeseung wasn’t behind it. Your foot may have slipped but he clearly bashed the boat. Either way, you’re not going to be deterred by the weather, especially since your fixation on Heeseung has started to reach a fever pitch.
He’s all you can think about. Even at work, even at the marina (which you are finally allowed to go to again), even with your family, he plagues your every thought. Maybe this is the real reason sirens are so dangerous, not because they’ll lure you to your death but because once ensnared, you can’t get out. You’re obsessed with the idea of him. Just last night you touched yourself to the thought of him, his mouth and his hands and those tentacles, how they completely tore you apart. You can’t help yourself any longer, you need to see him.
The beach is practically deserted due to the weather, the tide higher than normal. You know that it’s dangerous to go into a cove like that during a high tide, but you duck under the sign without giving it a second thought. You’re hopeful you’ll find him again, pulling your jacket closer as you step around the wall of the cave and onto it’s stone floor.
It’s just the same as you left it, though the water is a little higher. It’s come up past the ledge where it was last time, pooling out in a wide arch. You walk over to the edge of it, your arms wrapped around yourself as you stand at the edge. You sit down right there, uncaring of your shorts getting wet, setting your sandals aside, further away from the water, lest they get swept out. The air is warm even if it might rain, thick and humid, ghosting over you and leaving goosebumps in its wake. You sigh softly to yourself, wondering if it’s even worth it to come out here. What if he doesn’t show up?
Your worries are put to bed by the tight hold of a tentacle around your ankle. You look down, the same bright red that you’ve come to expect slithering up your ankle, along your shin and to your knee. You stretch your leg out, letting it take further hold of you. You’re dragged, quite suddenly, towards the water, making you yelp. You’re pulled right into Heeseung’s waiting arms, the siren leaning over the top of you as you’re suddenly submerged in water up to your waist, wetting your shorts and your shirt and your jacket.
“Heeseung,” you gasp. He smirks down at you, gently taking your hands in his. It would be sweet, the way he threads your fingers with his, if he didn’t immediately pin them down by your head, tentacles twisting around your other leg, your waist, writhing up your shirt.
“Did you miss me, beautiful?” He asks, hovering the top of you, staring down at you with dark eyes.
“I did,” you agree and he smiles. Tentacles shift over your skin, the suckers tugging at your skin as they creep further and further up your body, until they’re pulling at your shorts and cupping your swimsuit clad breasts. “Heeseung,” you whimper, the onslaught of sensations on your body more than you were expecting right off.
“I missed you too,” he tells you, leaning down to kiss you. He captures your lips in a soft but intense kiss, his tongue immediately pushing its way past your lips. You whine as he fucks it deeper into your mouth, slithering along your tongue, pressing down on the back of it while his tentacles attempt to pull your clothes off. Your shorts are being shimmied down your hips while your swim top is pushed aside to reveal your breasts under your top. You try to struggle against it but he’s too strong, you’re completely immobilized underneath his hands and tentacles.
When he pulls back from the kiss, allowing you to breathe again, his eyes run over your body. He can see the way his own tentacles are shifting underneath the fabric of your shirt, feel the rough denim of your shorts as he attempts to remove them from your body. You look up at him with your big, innocent eyes and it drives him crazy. How can such a sweet human have such endless desire?
“What did you come for, beautiful?” He asks, looking down at you. “My hands,” he squeezes your hands in his, “my mouth,” he licks his lips enticingly, “or would you prefer I split you open on my tentacles again? You seemed to really enjoy that last time,” he comments, making you blush.
“I have… something else in mind,” you tell him and he lifts a brow. “You have to let me go,” you say, squeezing his fingers between your gently.
“But I so enjoy you like this,” he comments, looking at the way you’re being held down. Your shorts are nearly far enough down that he could slip right underneath your swimsuit, touching you once more. He can see your nipples through your thin tank top, a pity he didn’t get to play with them last time. To prove his point, he lets his tentacles sweep over your nipples, making you shudder. “Completely at my mercy,” he points out, eyes half lidded as he enjoys the view.
“And you will,” you assure him. “Just allow me a moment,” you offer. He sighs but lets go of your hands, tentacles retreating from your body. You feel like you can get a full breath in once freed from the bondage of his body, shifting just a little bit away from him.
“I’m terribly impatient, love,” Heeseung warns you. The new nickname makes you smile. “I wouldn’t keep me waiting.”
“I won’t.” You strip off your wet jacket, tossing it further up onto the stone flooring. His eyes watch you with intrigue as you start pulling off your clothes, taking your shorts the rest of the way off and also your tank top. You don’t bother fixing your swim top, he’s sure to just push it aside again anyway, so your breasts are fully exposed as you slide back into the water, partially underneath him.
“What game are you playing?” He asks, watching as you settle down beneath him.
“Just quelling my curiosity,” you tell him and then slide a hand down his stomach, between his tentacles. It’s a total guess, you have no idea what you are supposed to be feeling for, but you must have pretty good intuition because as soon as you get low enough, your fingers are sliding over a slit in his skin, making him gasp and jerk above you. He grabs your wrist, not pulling you away but stopping you from continuing. When you look up, his eyes have gotten impossible darker, a flush suddenly coating his cheeks.
“You have no idea what you’re doing,” Heeseung warns you, voice low. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
“I’m curious. Didn’t you say it’s an admirable quality in humans?” You reply and his jaw clenches. “Besides, don’t you want to feel good?” You run your fingers up and down the slit, feeling a slick, slippery fluid coat your fingers. He’s still submerged in the water but it’s thick, vicious enough that you can feel it. Heeseung’s eyes flutter, breath getting heavier. “Let me make you feel good.”
“You’re not prepared for it,” he tells you.
“Then prepare me for it.” His eyes narrow. The next moment, he’s pulling your hand away from him, pushing you down onto the stone once more. Your breath leaves you in one heavy gasp and you’re pushed down and wrapped up in tentacles, creeping and slithering and writhing over your body. He takes his hands back, clearly not needing them for what he’s doing to you. Under his intense gaze, your arms are pinned down, legs spread apart, breasts caressed by his sucker laden extremities. Your nipples are covered in suckers, making you cry out as they pull and tug at your sensitive flesh, another one latching onto your clit. Your eyes roll back, pleasure suddenly coursing through you unexpectedly as he takes your goading very seriously.
“You always seem to be saying things without actually giving them any thought, beautiful,” he says, watching you attempt to struggle against your bonds. He slides a hand back down between his tentacles, fingers running over his sensitive slit, dipping inside. He moans, biting at his lower lip. “You look so pretty like this. Forced to take whatever I give you. Unable to fight me off. It gets me so hot.” He moans again, spreading his slit open, more and more fluid gushing from inside.
You lift your head in hopes of seeing what he’s doing, but your mind goes blank when a tentacle suddenly thrusts inside of you. You cry out from the sudden stretch, opening you up so abruptly, your pussy aching. It’s brutal, the way it bullies its way inside of you, spreading you open, fucking as deep as it can. You drop your head back against the stone, trying to breath through the intense feelings, overstimulated from all the sensations. Your nipples nearly ache, your clit is throbbing and the suckers are rubbing all over the walls of your cunt.
The speed at which the tentacle inside of you fucks you is inhuman, almost painful the way that it fucks right into your cervix, the pointed tip feeling like it’s pushing past and into your womb. If you were in your right mind, you would know it’s not possible, but it genuinely feels like it’s trying to rearrange your insides, you feel so full. Every pull on your clit is making your mind spin, amplified by the tight press on your nipples. You think you might be moaning, but you don’t know. All you know for sure is that you’re going to come, you’re going to come, you’re going to come.
“Then come for me, beautiful,” Heeseung hisses. “Come for me, all over me.”
Your orgasm spills out of you, a wet gush of slick and cum, maybe even squirt, the way that tentacle was fucking you you’re not sure it isn’t possible. All you know is that you feel out of your mind, stretched to your limits, skin hypersensitive, breasts and clit throbbing. The tentacles on your most sensitive parts slither away, leaving a pattern of sucker shaped bruises on your chest and thigh in their wake. When you catch your breath, you lift your head, trying to see Heeseung.
“You wanna see what you wanted so badly?” He asks and you nod, still unable to see him with the way you’re pinned to the ground. The tentacles around your arms slip away as well, allowing you to sit up a bit. Your mouth falls open when you see what he’s talking about.
Protruding from the slit between his tentacles is a thick, long, cherry red cock to match the rest of his tentacles. It’s much too big for you to be able to take inside of you, several inches long and throbbing, twitching against the palm of Heeseung’s hand as he strokes it. Translucent fluid drips from the bulbous head, turned purple in his arousal, down the ribbed length of his shaft. A thick vein runs down the underside of it, which he smooths his fingers over, making him groan deeply. When you lift your gaze, Heeseung is staring at you with his tongue between his sharp teeth, the tip curling around one of them.
“You know what I said, about a human’s sex being so vulnerable. Now you see, I can’t even get to mine without being so aroused I can barely stand it.” He grips the base, throwing his head back as he moans. More fluid flows from the tip, dripping into the water beneath him. When he looks at you again, he swallows, clearly trying to control himself. “You have no idea what you did to me. Just touching my sheath like that, trying to put your fingers inside of me. I wanted you so badly.” He lets go of his cock to lean over the top of you instead, causing you to drop down to your elbows. “The only problem is that there’s no way you can take all of me inside of you. I’d rip you open.”
“Has a human ever taken you before?” You ask.
“No one’s ever wanted to,” he admits. “With all these tentacles, what do they want my cock for?”
“I do,” you tell him and he lifts a brow. “I want to try. I want to make you feel good.”
“You’re so naive,” Heeseung laughs. “But if you insist.” His tentacles wrap your arms again, pulling you down to the ground. He leans over the top of you, the tentacles still around your legs spreading you as wide as possible, so he can get between them, aligning the thick head of his cock to your cunt. “Try not to scream,” he teases you and then pushes his hips forward.
It’s hard not to, as he pushes inside of you. Your eyes roll back, your mouth dropping open as you try to keep the noises you want to make inside. At the very least, Heeseung has the presence of mind to go slow, easing himself inside of you inch by agonizing inch. It feels like he’s going to rip you open, and you nearly sob when you realize that was just the head when the ribs of his shaft start entering you too. Your walls clench and unclench, unsure if they want to push him out or pull him in as he keeps going until he’s nestled so far inside of you it feels like you can feel him in your throat.
“Tsk, tsk, I should’ve known,” Heeseung says, but his own breath is coming out short, trying to restrain himself. You know he wants to ruin you. You look up at him though, realizing he’s looking down at where he’s buried inside of you. When he meets your eyes he smirks. “You can only take half.”
“Fuck,” you curse, dropping your head back against the stone. If that’s only half of him, what the hell would all of him feel like? You don’t get a lot of time to ponder that though because Heeseung grabs you by the waist, hauling you closer. Your cunt aches in protest, already stuffed to its limit. Then he reels back and fucks you.
It hurts almost as good as it feels, as Heeseung starts to fuck in and out of you, the head of his cock ramming into your body, over and over again. Without his tentacles holding you down, you might actually be thrashing too much to take it, because he’s ruthless. Or maybe it’s just the weight of him, the size of him, that makes it feel so intense, your already sensitive walls spasming around the natural ridges of his cock. You’re gasping and whining and moaning, unable to control the sounds coming out of you anymore as he takes you apart.
“You feel so good,” Heeseung moans, gripping you hard enough to hurt. “I can’t believe I finally found a human just crazy enough to let me fuck them. Your pussy feels so fucking good around me, beautiful. Gods above.” Whatever Heeseung is saying is going completely over your head, all you can focus on is how you feel, filled to the brim with his cock, helpless and at his mercy, pinned down by his body. You try to lift your gaze to his face, but you can’t, your eyes are rolling in your head, the relentless pleasure drowning everything else out.
It might’ve hurt at first, but now it’s just a roiling, boiling sea of arousal, your cunt squelching, his hips slapping wetly against yours, from the fluids you’re both leaking, from the water you’re half submerged in. You can’t even be sure who’s fluids are whose, with the way it’s quite literally gushing out of you with every reckless thrust Heeseung pushes into you, spilling down his hips and spraying all over your thighs. Every hard thrust shakes you to your core, nerves on fire, the aching need to come settling so deep inside of you it’s all you can think about.
“Hee- Hee- Hee-” you can’t even get his name out in warning. Heeseung keeps fucking you, pushing as deep as he can, almost like he’s trying to make you take all of him, even though you so physically cannot. The constant feeling of unimaginable fullness, the ridges of his cock rubbing against your walls, it’s too much.
You come all over his cock, squirt and cum and slick spilling out around him, running in rivers down the length of him, turning the water around you milky white. Your cunt spasms uncontrollably around him, your body limp and useless as you come. He doesn’t stop though, plowing into you over and over and over again, chasing the feeling of your body, the wet hold of your pussy clenching and unclenching around him.
“Shit,” he curses suddenly, shoving in as far as he can and staying there. Your eyes roll back, the relentless pressure of him inside of you almost enough to drive you off the edge again. He comes inside of you, but without anywhere for it to go it all comes dripping back down the length of his cock, into the water, rivulets of his milky white cum running down his cock and your thighs.
For several seconds the both of you stay there, trying to catch your breath. The air is still thick with humidity and an incoming storm, your clothes are discarded a few feet away from you on the stone and slowly, oh so slowly, Heeseung’s tentacles unravel from around your extremities, slipping back beneath the water, leaving bruises in the the shape of his many suckers behind on your skin.
“Take a deep breath, love,” Heeseung advises, and you do. “Let it out slowly and relax.” You try to do as he says, feeling the way he slowly pulls out of you. It makes you shiver, the feeling of his ridged cock all along your walls, the catch of the head on your entrance. It pops out though and you feel like you can get a full breath in again. You’ve never felt so empty as you do right now.
Heeseung lies down next to you on the stone, pulling you towards him. When his tentacles wrap around you this time it's softer, gentler, almost lovingly. They caress all the places they held you, over the bruises that mar your skin, wrapping you in their warmth. It’s a little odd, they’re still slick and slippery, but you’ve become used to them. You rest your head on his shoulder, his arms around your waist.
“You did so good for me,” he whispers, kissing your head. You nearly preen under his praise. “But you know,” he whispers in your ear, “I’m never gonna let you go now.”
“I wouldn’t want you to,” you tell him and when he pulls back, he looks at you with gentle eyes and that trademark little smirk of his. “How could I ever be satisfied with someone other than you?”
“You never will,” Heeseung tells you, leaning in to kiss you. You kiss him back, rolling on top of him. His tentacles wrap around your legs and your waist, keeping you steady as you kiss down into his mouth, mindful of those teeth of his.
a/n: you guys asked for monster fucking, so i gave it to you. honestly, i have no idea why this came to me but it literally came to me as i was getting ready for bed and then i was possessed. i really, really enjoyed working on this, it was so weird and fun and strange, god, i love monster aus. they're so fun! i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i do.
taglist: @ducksstolemybread @hoonieshoney
His hair is so fluffy I just want to touch it 😭😭😭 @intwohoon @jaeyunpinkyring
I miss his long hair 🥹
My favorite fic by far, GODDAMN IT’S GOOD-
Tragedy & Balance
god!lee heeseung x muse!reader [afab]
[prev | the pantheon series ]
genre: smut
concept: pushed to his limits, heeseung arrives at his brothers' pearly gates to take what is owed to him. he knows very well what this will involve, what his brothers will try so hard to keep, but he won't be so easily swayed. at least, he didn't think so.
it turns out there is something hidden in this palace that he wants more.
w/c: 13.9k
warning: god au, religious themes, religious imagery, fire imagery, in depth discussions of death, reincarnation & souls; sexually explicit content, god fucking, body worship, vaginal sex, multiple positions, *unprotected sex, coming inside
There is a change in the air, a heavy foreboding that causes Jungwon to sit up in his bed, the blankets pooling around his waist. His goddess stirs beside him, sitting up slowly at his side. He throws the blankets back, getting dressed as quickly as he can, knowing very well what comes. His goddess blinks her soft eyes at him, watching but not moving, confusion in her expression. Once dressed, Jungwon rushes back to her side, cupping her face in his hands.
“Do not leave this room,” he tells her with nothing but urgency. She frowns, fear starting to bleed into her expression. “Promise me.”
“I promise, I will not leave this room,” she assures him and he kisses her gently on the forehead. He leaves her side, reluctant as ever, pushing his way past the curtain.
His feet take him down from his tower, to the ground of the palace, all but running for the front hall. He can hear the echo of his brothers’ feet, all of them quickly converging on the courtyard at the front of the palace, the gates that are usually closed. He knows that when he gets there, they will not be. He knows that by the time he reaches the courtyard, it will be far, far too late for any of them.
When they all reach the courtyard, the gates are hanging open, sparking golden and creaking in the wind. Jungwon can feel his heart in his throat, the ominous sound of them and the darkening sky causing goosebumps to arise across his flesh.
“Heeseung’s home,” Sunoo whispers at his side.
Regrettably, they know they have to find him and face him. And find him they do, in the grand hall, surrounded by the opulence they’ve all come to know. He’s sitting on the edge of the fountain, watching it fall from the tall spout, rolling over the edges into the pool below. Jungwon takes the lead, approaching him in front of all of them, knowing well exactly who he’s come to see. Heeseung smirks as soon as Jungwon is close, slowly lifting his gaze from the sparkling pool of water.
His brother hasn’t changed at all, Jungwon can’t help but think, from the knowing glint in his dark eyes to the sheen of his silver hair, constantly draped in black. For all that Jungwon is the one who sent him there, he hoped that one day Heeseung would understand his decision, but he never has. Instead he sits opposite him, all of them, as though they are his enemies. Jungwon never wanted that, but it’s far too late.
“What brings you home?” Jungwon asks.
“You know very well what brings me home,” Heeseung says, getting off the edge of the fountain to face them, straightening himself out. He stands toe to toe with his younger brother, but Jungwon won’t back down. Not this time. “After all this time, I thought we had an understanding,” Heeseung says, faux sympathy coating his tone as he tilts his head. “I took your punishment very well, all things considered. The least you could do is continue to uphold the agreement we made. I am in charge of the balance of this world and yet you act without thought. I thought better of you, brother.”
“It was never without thought. You can’t honest think—”
“What I honestly think of you is irrelevant,” Heeseung cuts him off. He rolls his eyes as he walks around Jungwon. Jungwon sighs heavily, turning around to keep his brother in his line of sight. He wouldn’t dare to not. “What I honestly think of any of you is irrelevant when you’ve all been acting so rashly. Impulsivity doesn’t suit any of you,” he says, his eyes running over his other brothers. Sunghoon clenches his hands while Jongseong’s jaw sets. “Well, except maybe you, Jaeyun,” he adds. Jaeyun’s eyes blaze and Heeseung laughs softly, turning around to face Jungwon again. “You know why I’m here.”
“I know. And I’m prepared to make a deal,” Jungwon informs him. Heeseung laughs again, crossing his arms over his chest.
“A deal? A bunch of mortals is enough for the King of the Gods to make a deal with me? What have they been putting in your offerings?” Heeseung mocks him. Jungwon glares back at him. “If you think I’m willing to make a deal based solely on the lives of six mortals, you’d be wrong.” A confused crease appears in Jungwon’s brow and Heeseung scoffs, throwing his head back. “Oh, you’ve no idea the things our brothers have done for their goddesses.” He lowers his head with a pitying gaze. “This is what you get for letting them run so wild.” He steps closer. “If I had been king, this never would’ve happened.”
“Mother didn’t want you king,” Jongseong spits and Heeseung leans away from Jungwon, pursing his lips. “You think we’re uncontrollable? Nothing would’ve stopped you, and you know it.”
“Because this is what we all wanted, is it?” Heeseung says, whipping around to glare at him. “The chance to throw our entire existence into question because you couldn’t control yourself?” He steps towards Jongseong. “A whole village, promised to me, and instead you promised it to her! You swore their safety, and for what?!” His eyes glow with black flames as he glares at Jongseong. “There are souls rotting in my library that should be on the river and are not. The balance of our lives is completely thrown. Her life is hardly the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what I deserve!”
“Well, you won’t be getting it,” Jungwon says, his voice calm. Heeseung sighs, closing his eyes. “Any of them.”
“If you’d like, we could always fight you again,” Sunghoon says and Heeseung’s eyes open, sliding to him. “You know you won’t win.”
“I didn’t come here to be thrown into the abyss. Again,” he deadpans. “I came for what I’m owed. And if I will not have it,” he turns back to Jungwon, “an equal exchange is required.”
“And what, pray tell, is equal in exchange?” Jungwon asks.
“Well, that’s hardly up to me,” Heeseung replies. “After all, I’m sure to the six of you, your goddesses are priceless and perfect. I can place whatever price I want on them and it still would not equal in your eyes. And you know so well how much I value an equal exchange,” he drawls, causing Jungwon’s eyes to narrow. “So, you decide.” He closes the distance between himself and his brother who calls himself King once more. “I’ll give you… 24 hours to make a deal with me? At the end of the next 24 hours, if you all are still incapable of coming to a decision, I guess I’ll just have to take what I am owed.” Jungwon clenches his jaw and Heeseung smirks. “Think on it, brother. You’re smart, I’m sure you’ll think of something.”
Heeseung leaves the grand hall, pushing through his other brothers, in a flutter of black and silver. Jungwon stumbles back against the fountain, gripping the edge of it as soon as Heeseung has gone. As with every interaction with his brother, he could feel the power that came off of him in waves, draining him. Were it not for all six of them working together in tandem, they never would’ve chained him to the underworld.
“What will you do?” Jongseong asks immediately, stepping forward. “You cannot give into him.”
“It’s hardly about giving in,” Sunoo points out, causing Jongseong to turn his attention to him, though reluctant as he is. “He’s right.” Jongseong huffs, looking away from the Sun God though Sunoo looks at Jungwon imploringly. “There are mortal lives that he is owed due to the deals we made. We changed the course of history by not handing them to him. If we wish to keep the balance, we have to give him something.”
“Would you like to give him your goddess first?” Jaeyun quips, his tone clipped. Sunoo turns to him with glowing, white eyes, barely restraining himself. Jungwon walks forward, gently touching Sunoo’s chest and his brother’s eyes slowly die back down to their amber warmth but his expression doesn’t change, nor falter from Jaeyun.
“We cannot fight amongst each other if we want to come up with a solution,” Jungwon points out, his gaze swinging from Sunoo to Jaeyun, who looks away from Jungwon’s pointed gaze.
“What solution do we have?” Riki speaks and they all turn to their softest spoken brother. “Sunoo and I both saved our loves from death, Sunghoon and Jongseong entire villages for theirs. You and Jaeyun might be the only ones who’s goddesses didn’t cost a soul to save. What could possibly match the weight of that? You know how Heeseung is,” Riki says. He walks forward towards Jungwon, staring at him with wide, worried eyes. Jungwon’s hand falls from Sunoo’s chest with a heavy sigh. “He will weigh them, he will not just take our word. Just any deal will not appease him.” Riki shifts uncomfortably. “Heeseung will want something of value.”
“Of all the things, we’ve indebted ourselves to our eldest brother,” Sunghoon mutters, shaking his head. “A fate worse than death.”
To say that Heeseung didn’t know this would be a lie. He knows very well that there are very few things in this world, godly or otherwise, that will carry enough weight for what he asks for. He knows it and is quite glad to play such a game with his brothers. He knows they will flounder for a solution that does not exist, they will look for a way to weasel their way out of this exchange, this deal he’s so graciously bestowed upon them, only to come up short. He knows it and he will take great pleasure in every moment that they struggle with their own hubris. They are too prideful to admit it and he will make them watch as he takes every single one of their goddesses from them.
In the meantime, he has no other choice but to bide his time in the palace. He could return home, the shackle of it weighs on him, reminding him that he’s not welcome here, but he refuses to let this chance pass him by. He will be a constant reminder to his brothers for the next 24 hours that their options are slim to none to save the lives of their loved ones.
Its opulence chokes him. He can barely stand it, the way they live in such luxury while he spends his days surrounded by the gray, rushing waters of the river, forced to sit on the other side of it, watching souls come close but hardly ever do they make landing. He’s been forced to watch from afar for too long, though maybe it truly is better this way. Now he’s unsuited to this, the thin air, the sparkling white and gold of the place, everything. It’s enough to make him sick.
When he retreats to the gardens it’s simply because he can’t stand to look at the wide expanse of white and gold before him anymore. It’s blinding and horrible, truly he does not understand how they all manage to be surrounded by such eyesores as these.. The gardens extend before him, lush and warm, almost enough to give him joy. Still, when he touches the hedges, they shrink from his fingertips, wilting and turning brown. Somehow he can’t find it in himself to be surprised, instead taking his hand away, folding them behind his back to wander around blindly.
It’s while he’s in the garden that he hears it. The sound of singing, coming from deep within the gardens. There is something about the call of the voice from inside that draws him in. While the gardens, trees and bushes and flowers, grow thicker around him he’s forced to try and push his way through to see what is hiding inside. Despite the way the flora scrapes against his hands, retreating from his deathly touch, he does not stop. It is like he can’t stop himself as the trees encroach on him, when he sees it. Sees you.
The river that falls down to earth from these heights lies beside you, rushing with clear water, the sound of which accompanies your voice. Heeseung thinks briefly of how sad you sound, like agony, like tragedy. He leans against the tree beside him, once he has passed the threshold of cloying flowers and shrubs, hardly giving the wilt of the bark any mind as he watches you sing, your fingers dipping into the water beside you. You’re wearing clothes of cream, a crown of flowers on your head. If he didn’t know any better, he would think you one of the goddesses his brothers have fallen so desperately for but you cannot be. Surely, none of them would’ve let you out of their sight, much less a place where he can find you so alone.
You stop singing slowly, sighing to yourself once your voice trickles to a stop. Heeseung pushes off from the tree to approach you, knowing he walks silently, like the death that he embodies. There is something about you, the way the light hits your profile, lashing casting shadows down your cheeks from your forlorn expression. You don’t see him coming, your eyes focused on the water below you, until he’s crouched beside you. Almost as if sensing you’re no longer alone, you turn towards him. Finding him right beside you, your breath catches, jerking away from him.
“Heeseung,” you gasp. You lean away from him, trying to put space between yourself and the God of Death but Heeseung is faster, wrapping an arm around your middle.
“Leaving so soon. When I don’t even know your name,” he teases you, a sharp smile pulling at his lips. You swallow, gripping his shoulders to try and push him off of you. “You have such a lovely voice, my dear,” he insists, holding you tightly, his other hand landing on the edge of the riverbed, keeping you imprisoned in his touch. “What could I do but come to you? What a beautiful Muse you are,” he whispers salaciously. With all your strength, you push him off of you, throwing yourself backwards.
You land in the grass, rolling over to try and get away. Amused by your actions, Heeseung isn’t so easily deterred, dragging you back by your ankle. You yelp, pulling all the way back to him until you’re pinned beneath his body. He forces you onto your back, staring down at you.
“How rude,” he admonishes you softly. You whimper, trapped beneath the elder god. You are hardly a goddess, just a Muse. Though you might be godly, imbued with immortality and powers, It means nothing in the face of the God of Death. He knows you cannot fight him off, forcing you to relent to him, fingers fisted in the front of his shirts as you squirm beneath him. “I know I hardly come off as approachable but to run off so quickly,” he mocks you, brushing the backs of his fingers over your cheek.
“Let me go. Jaeyun will—”
“My brother is spineless and childish, he’ll do nothing,” Heeseung hisses to you, knowingly. “Tell me your name and I’ll let you go, my dear. It is the least I deserve after such a rude display.”
“Y-Y/N,” you stutter out and Heeseung smiles. He gets off of you, allowing you the ability to slip out from beneath him. You crawl away from him, curling into yourself once there is a bit of space between the two of you. Heeseung rolls onto his back, propped up on his elbows, looking at you. You catch your breath, avoiding his piercing gaze.
“Well, what’re you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be running?” Heeseung goads you, making his eyes flash black and menacing. You swallow roughly around the lump in your throat. “Unless you aren’t really that scared of me,” he teases you, reaching out towards you. His fingertips brush your ankle, causing you to flinch away. “Muses, all the same. Jaeyun has always adored you, hasn’t he?” Heeseung comments. His fingertips still just barely graze your skin though you daren’t meet his gaze. You don’t see the softness in his expression. “Before his goddess, that is. Perhaps he’s grown tired of you?” He questions, bringing his gaze up from your ankle. Though you still don’t meet his gaze, he sees the way your expression drops, despondent once more like how he found you. “Is that why you’re alone? You poor, neglected thing…” he coos with faux sympathy, crawling towards you. You shuffle back, away from him, trying to curl up tighter, away from his reaching fingers.
“Stop!” You bark, “you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Heeseung stops, falling back. “What’re you even doing here?” You finally lift your gaze to look at him. “Shouldn’t you be away, beneath the Earth, handling the dead? Isn’t that where you belong?” You remark, tone acidic. Heeseung sighs, collapsing back into the grass. You don’t miss the way it wilts beneath him, turning yellow. You watch with a sort of morbid curiosity as the God before you doesn’t even seem to notice.
“Such a sweet, pretty thing and yet you speak with such sharp words.” He turns his head towards you, his silver hair falling into his dark eyes. You swallow, struck by how handsome he is. All your life, yours and the other Muses, you’ve heard Jaeyun spin tales of his eldest brother, how ugly he is. Perhaps it was just in personality, because you see nothing but beauty in his face. His gaze meets yours steadily behind the curtain of his hair. “Where I belong is such a harsh thing to say to me, don’t you think?”
“It’s where you were sent,” you remind him, though your tone isn’t as hard as it was previously. “Where your brothers imprisoned you.”
“A great many eons ago,” he confirms. “But I’m more powerful than them. Their gates are not indestructible, I am more than capable of coming to see them. Not forever,” he lets his head fall back against the ground once more, staring back up towards the sky, “but for short whiles. I’m sorry that my brother managed to leave that out.”
“What brings you here now?” You can’t help but wonders, your own curiosities getting the better of you.
“I am owed something,” Heeseung admits to you. You tilt your head, not understanding. Heeseung smiles and then turns to you again, but his smile is hardly kind. “Not that it’s any of your concern, Muse. The tragedy of my life is hardly something for you to worry your pretty self with.” He rolls over to climb to his feet and you flinch away from him as he stands, brushing himself off. “I meant what I said,” he tells you, looking down at you. “Your voice is very beautiful.” You can’t help but be struck by the way he says it, almost kindly.
“Thank you,” you whisper. He departs shortly, leaving you alone. You curl your legs even closer to yourself, wrapping your arms around them. You can’t help the way your eyes follow him as he walks out, slipping between the trees until he disappears from view.
On the other side of the garden, Heeseung pauses. He leans back against the trees, listening out for your voice. It doesn’t return though it echoes through his mind. When he lets his head drop back against the tree, he smiles softly to himself. Perhaps, just maybe, he was a bit hasty in his convictions.
24 hours is hardly any time at all, they all know this, and by the time Sunoo is forced to raise the sun in the morning again, they’ve all talked themselves to death. The knowledge of what comes weighs heavily on their minds, as they know Heeseung will make the decision for them. They won’t simply allow it, they’ll sooner throw Heeseung back to his abyss than let him simply think he can take whatever he wants, but they all knew that this price might come. Even if they deny him, he will demand something of great value if not the souls he’s unable to attain.
The sun has risen above the horizon when Heeseung lets himself back into the grand hall, a grin upon his face. Never has Jongseong felt such a strong urge to throw his brother back into the abyss from whence he came than by that look of utter satisfaction that is written across his expression. He stands before Heeseung can get too close, blocking him from getting closer to Jungwon.
“Oh, are we fighting already, Jongseong? I knew you might grow tired of me but so soon?” Heeseung mocks him.
“Your greed will be your downfall,” Jongseong warns him. Heeseung laughs in amusement.
“Greed? I have greed because you are the one who made an agreement without giving it thought. I’m greedy because I am fulfilling the role that which you so graciously bestowed upon me, by the way,” he points out, causing Jongseong’s expression to tighten, “all those eons ago. If you would like me to step down from weighing the souls of mortals so that someone else may do it, I would gladly, but they must be weighed.” Heeseung leans towards him, his expression turning dark. “Everything must be in balance. I believe you were the one who insisted upon it.”
“Tell us what you want,” Jungwon says, hopeful to avoid bloodshed. Heeseung leans away from Jongseong, stepping around his seething brother to approach where Jungwon remains seated. “Surely you know that we have nothing to offer you.” Heeseung smirks, clearly having expected such an admission. His other brothers won’t even look at him. “So name your price. Just know that it will not be their souls.”
“That is what I asked for,” Heeseung reminds him and Jungwon glares up at him. “Theirs and all the mortals that you made the mistake of letting live. Those souls are crowding my shelves, I haven’t the room for the mistakes you have allowed to happen,” he insists, leaning menacingly towards his brother. “Prepared to make a deal with me, little brother? You are hardly meant to be king.”
“Would you like to be thrown back into the river once more?” Sunghoon says, jumping to his feet. Heeseung looks to him, lifting a brow. “We may have made our mistakes, but you are hardly the God Jungwon is. Mother insisted upon your disposal, you should thank him for your life.”
“Thank him, for an eternity of solitude?” He says, straightening up to face Sunghoon. “Well, let me drop to my knees!” Heeseung snarls. “How dare I expect to be treated as equal with you, at the very least? Without me, this world would’ve destroyed itself already. You should be thanking me!” He demands, eyes blazing.
“Make your choice,” Jungwon demands, getting to his feet. Heeseung turns back to him and Jungwon’s eyes crackle with lightning. “But know that it will not be them. You may take the souls you so desire if that is really what you want. Let it consume you, your need for balance, but you will not have the goddesses.”
The blazing fire in Heeseung’s eyes extinguishes and he smirks.
“You will do anything. Truly, it is almost admirable. Almost… romantic,” he comments, and Jungwon’s eyes become brown once more, surprised by his eldest brother’s tone, his consideration. “Let me offer you a deal then, brother,” Heeseung says, smirking. Jungwon’s brow creases in confusion, shifting slightly away, concerned for what Heeseung might propose. “The weight of a few mortals is far from that of a goddesses’ soul and we all know it. Especially six of them. However, I might be amenable to an exchange of another goddess.”
“Whom do you ask for?” Jungwon asks.
“Y/N,” Heeseung says, a smile on his lips. “Tragedy.”
“You are shameless!” Jaeyun insists, getting to his feet. Jungwon glances away though and Heeseung knows Jungwon is considering it. “To take a goddess for another is low, even for you, brother. What makes you think—”
“I think,” Heeseung cuts him off, cutting him a look, “that the price of a lesser goddess is well worth it to you. After all, how much attention do those Muses even get with your adoration of yours?” He mocks him and Jaeyun clenches his fists at his sides. “Offer me thanks, Jaeyun, I am taking one off of your hands. You will have so much more time to waste in the arms of your lover.”
“Why you—” Jaeyun says, stepping towards him. Sunoo pulls on his wrist to stop him from advancing further on Heeseung.
“I cannot give her to you outright,” Jungwon says and Heeseung’s gaze swings to him. “She is a goddess, her soul has never been bound to the Earth. She must give it to you of her own volition. You must get her to agree,” Jungwon warns him and Heeseung nods, accepting the terms. He knows very well, after all. “However, if you manage it, she will be yours. You may have her as recompense.”
“Jungwon,” Riki hisses but Jungwon won’t meet any of their eyes.
“I knew you could be reasonable, Jungwon,” Heeseung says with a grin. “After all, you’re saving so many souls this way,” he mocks him, Jungwon closing his eyes against the guilt that eats at him. Heeseung then turns to Jaeyun, who is still burning with rage. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her.” He turns on his heel, leaving them. Only once he’s left the room does Sunoo finally let go of Jaeyun, who turns to Jungwon.
“Do you know the things he might do to her?!” Jaeyun points out. “Heeseung will manipulate her, she will agree. Once she gives him her word, she’ll be trapped down there, his to own. How could you—”
“I did what I had to,” Jungwon finally says, voice soft. “I am hardly proud of it. So you best remember the choices we’ve been forced to make when you lie with your lovers tonight.”
“It’s like you’ve not even left,” Heeseung says, startling you. You thought for sure that he would’ve left by now, but he edges through the trees and bushes to approach you, your eyes darting between him and the way the nature seems to shrink away from his touch, turning yellow and brown when he brushes against it only to turn green and lush once he passes it. It saddens you, though not for the reasons one might expect. Your eyes land on him when he gets to you, kneeling beside you on the ground. “Perhaps I’m just lucky.”
“Why’re you still here?” You ask and he laughs softly.
“Blunt, aren’t you?” Heeseung asks and you shrug, looking away from him, your fingertips dipped into the river. He leans towards you, almost touching you as he watches the river rush past your fingertips. “So strange,” he whispers and you resist the urge to jump at how close his voice is, “seeing water such as this. I’m not particularly familiar with water so clear you can see the bottom.”
“The Sanzu must be very different to this,” you whisper and Heeseung’s eyes focus on you instead of the river.
“It is,” he whispers. His hand touches your waist gently. He watches you shiver but you don’t look at him. “The waters are so deep and fast, nearly uncrossable in most places. I watch souls attempt to cross through its snake infested waters all the time. Watch as they’re dragged beneath the waves.” A chill creeps over your body. “But most are afforded the bridge. The ones that are allowed the ford, they are few and far between.”
“Can a river like that truly have a ford?” You ask, turning to look at him. You jerk back, surprised to see him so close.
“The Sanzu is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. Trust me, you’d be amazed by it,” Heeseung tells you, lifting his free hand to your cheek, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I think it’s rather unfortunate you’ve never seen it. Given that you are tragedy after all.” You hold your breath, trying to remain unaffected but he can see the surprise in your eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out? There are so few who understand sadness and agony like me, after all. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to your voice,” his fingers brush over the roundness of your cheek.
“What do you want?” You ask, trying to swallow down your fear. You know the whispers, what people say about Heeseung, that he is more than just a God of Death. He knows very well what he is, what kind of powers he possesses. It cannot be a coincidence that he might come back to you, speaking to you with such kindness. Not after he trapped you beneath him, forcing your compliance.
“I should’ve figured you would see right through me,” Heeseung sighs. “I have a proposition for you, pretty. A deal that you might… be willing to take, if you’re as kind as I believe you to be.” You watch him and his eyes meet yours slowly. “You see, I was owed something, something that brought me here. That something was a few very precious souls that my brothers… well, they’d do just about anything to avoid giving them to me.”
“Who do they belong to?” You whisper.
“Their goddesses,” Heeseung tells you and your eyes widen in surprise. “Before they were brought here, they were just mortals. Simple, and unknowing. And I’m sure you’re well aware that souls of mortals belong to me. All of them.” You nod, hesitantly. “Well, I simply came to collect. Everyone dies, it’s my job to make sure of it.”
“What does this have to do with me?” You ask. He smiles softly, cupping your cheek in hand.
“My brothers and I came to an understanding regarding these souls, but you have to understand, everything comes with a price,” he tells you. “And this price, is you.”
“Me?” You gasp. “Why me?”
“Are you not tragedy, my dear?” Heeseung asks you, stroking his thumb over your cheek. “Are you not the one thing in this whole wretched world that might understand me?” He pulls you closer, pressing your chest against his, taking your breath with it. “Death is my life, and it’s such a terribly lonely existence. You understand, don’t you?” You look into his eyes, shrouded slightly by his silver hair, dark brown and staring so intently you feel as though you can feel it in your soul. “Surely you do. While the rest of the muses experience the joy of things like poetry and prose and song you continue to be cursed by the agony of it all. Happiness is but a fleeting dream when the only call you are allowed to answer is that of death and disaster.”
Unfortunately, he’s right. You’ve never minded too much, but even you know that you’re far from Jaeyun’s favorite, from anyone’s favorite. You’ve always known you’re barely departed from the God of Death, drawn here to the heavens but brought down to earth to see the saddest parts of humanity. You’ve never been to the river but you’ve seen the souls that depart for it, never to be seen again. It haunts you, and you’re all the more lonely for it.
Could Heeseung truly be just as so?
“Do you see?” He asks, words whispered to you. “The only thing I ask is you, in exchange for all the rest of them. You would be saving them, and me,” he coos. You look into his eyes, expression softened, almost pained. Your heart aches in sympathy and you touch his cheek gently. His eyes flutter softly when you touch him, leaning his head into your palm. Despite his godliness, he does not emanate warmth like the others, as human as the ones you’ve seen below. Truly he is othered by his brothers, he must be.
“What would I have to do?” You ask and Heeseung smiles. He knew you wouldn’t refuse.
“Give me your word,” he tells you. “And become mine.”
“I will,” you agree.
“I was so hoping you would understand,” he coos, bringing his hand down from your face to your chest. His fingers move aside the v of your neckline, revealing the center of your chest to him. You go to flinch back but he holds fast to your waist, not letting you move an inch. “Oh, no, pretty, you misunderstand,” he whispers. “You gave me your word. You belong to me.” His eyes blaze with black flames as his fingers touch your bare skin and you gasp through the pain that rips through you.
It’s like you’ve been engulfed by flames, licking at your skin, melting you down to the bones. Your hand falls from his face to grip at his arms desperately as he smirks, watching your wide eyes stare into his.
“Hurts,” you whisper, the only word you can get out through the unbearable pain and he coos again, but this time he mocks you with it. You feel as though you have never been more foolish in your immortal life.
“I’m sure it does,” he hisses, staring intently into your eyes.
Your eyes roll back into your head, gasping through the pain that rocks through your body, agony like you’ve never felt it before. Your fingers dig into his forearms, your head thrown back as you try not to scream. Darkness starts to take over your vision as you succumb to the horrendous pain, collapsing in Heeseung’s arms.
When you wake, you wake alone. You throw yourself upright in bed, the blankets of pitch black gathering around your waist as you gasp for air. The air is thick and heavy in your lungs, an ache in the middle of your chest making it hard for you to get a full breath in. You reach down for the front of your dress, pulling the folds of the fabric open to see what he’s done. With a trembling hand you touch the scarred words into your skin, his name burned into your flesh.
Lee Heeseung is written across your skin, and you resist the urge to sob. You press your fingers against the smarting wounds, knowing there’s nothing else you can do. It’s too late. He’s taken you.
When you finally drag yourself from the blankets, you stagger across the cold stone beneath your feet, trying to find your way out of the bedroom that you’re in. The furnishings are all made of wood and stone and decorated in black and silver. It’s dim, lit only by a few sconces on the walls, kerosene lamps lighting your way. You try to get out as quickly as you can, pushing your way out the sliding wood door, stumbling into the hallway.
Wherever you are, it’s freezing cold, the thin dress you wear far from enough to keep you warm. You have to wrap your arms around yourself as you walk down the cavernous halls, high ceilings of gray stone above your head, the walls all lined with kerosene lamps. It’s dim, the air heavy as you try to make your way towards something. Towards anything at all, just to figure out where you are.
Every door you try to open is locked, refusing to budge even when you pull on their flimsy, wooden frames. You try every door along the long hallway, hopeful to find someone, anyone who might be able to help you. You know you belong to Heeseung but you can’t stand the idea of it, being left alone in his room, helpless. You just keep trying doors, desperately hoping someone might be inside one of them or, at the very least, one of them will be open so that you can hide from him in peace.
You get to the end of the hall, only to realize that you’re at the end of the line. The walls of the hallway fall away and you’re standing at the edge of a river, a great rushing river of gray water, running past you never-endingly. In both directions, the river stretches out so far it eventually turns into nothing but fog, extending out for what must be an eternity. You don’t need to be told what it is, you know what river you’re looking at. Before you, in the middle of the path, there is a bridge, arching upwards, a steep climb from where you stand. You try to catch your breath but the roaring water is too much, the air humid. You’re standing on unsteady legs, unfamiliar with the stone beneath your feet, which causes you to sway dangerously towards the edge of the river as you try to get a full breath in.
A hand around your arm pulls you back, throwing you into the chest of the person that tugs you from the edge. You let go of yourself to touch the person that grabbed you, using them to stay upright. They let go of you as soon as you do though and you fall heavily to the stone flooring, right on your backside. When you lift your gaze, Heeseung is staring down at you.
“Do you know what would’ve happened to you if you had fallen in?” He tells you, glaring down at you. “I never would’ve been able to get you out. Souls that fall into the river's waters don’t come out. Don’t get so close, even I can’t save you.”
“Well, considering I woke up lost and alone, I don’t know what you expected!” You retort, getting back to your feet. Heeseung surveys you critically, watching you struggle to your feet. “Where have you even been? After all that nonsense you gave me at the palace—”
“I had to get you to agree somehow,” he interrupts you and you scoff, shaking your head.
“I am a fool. I thought you had a heart, but clearly you’re as empty and hollow as Jaeyun has always said you are,” you accuse him, making Heeseung’s eyes blaze. “If the only thing you ever wanted in exchange for the others was my soul, then go on! Take it! It’s clearly the only thing you care about!” You insist, leaning towards him.
Heeseung’s fingers are suddenly pressing painfully into your chest, right above where his name has been written into your skin. He presses them in hard enough to ache, and it feels like something is stealing your breath right from you. Heeseung watches you with dark eyes full of black fire as you gasp for air, his fingers moving slowly up your chest, towards your throat. It’s choking you, something wet and thick rising up within you. Not your throat, not your windpipe, something deeper, intangible, as his index and middle fingers trace their way up your skin.
It rises up your neck, until it’s in the back of your throat, your mouth, hot and wet and pulsing. Your hands wrap around your throat, still you can’t breathe until you’re forced to open your mouth as Heeseung’s fingers trace up underneath your jaw and chin. When it pours out of you, you’re shocked to see a glowing ball of liquid, silver like mercury floating between you above his fingers.
“Silver. I expected gold,” Heeseung says. You still cannot breath, choking on nothing, like all the air has been sucked right out of your lungs. A bottle materializes out of thin air, which Heeseung pours the liquid into and then magicks a chain around. With a snap of his fingers, the bottle is hung around your throat and you can breathe again. You look down at the small bottle that hangs from your throat, lifting it gently in your fingertips. “You should be more careful with what you say,” he advises.
“What is this?” You ask, turning the bottle over in your fingertips.
“Your soul,” Heeseung says and your eyes dart up to him. Your hand lets go of it, the bottle bouncing off your collarbones. “Did you forget who I am in such a short, short time period.” He leans towards you menacingly. “If you’d really like me to take it, I can. Oh, I can and I’ll pour it right into the river where it will never be seen again.” You stare at him through wide eyes, Heeseung smirking at you. “I’m showing you kindness by keeping you alive. Perhaps you should think about that.”
“What about the others?” You ask. “You said my soul—”
“It will suffice,” Heeseung says boredly, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “For the souls that I desire, even one made of silver is worth plenty. Come with me, I’ll show you what you’re worth.” He tells you, turning to walk away. You hesitate, glancing back at the river. You stare at its gray, rushing waters, swallowing through the fear that threatens to rise through you like your soul previously did. You still ache, but you have no one else to be with other than him. When you look back over Heeseung is standing at the mouth of the hall, leaning against it with a raised brow. You walk over to follow him, Heeseung pushing off to lead you back into the cavern of the underworld.
You discover you ran the wrong way when Heeseung leads you so far inside, past all the previous doors you tried to force open, until you pass the door of the bedroom you ran out of. Strangely, it doesn’t look any different from the other doors that line the walls, small and unassuming. Not far past it the two of you end up at a pair of great, double doors. Heeseung pushes them open, stepping inside with confidence. You follow him, only to stop in the doorway.
Before you is a great room of shelves, all of them lined with bottle upon bottle of liquids. Some of them shine with bright colors, glittery and beckoning, some of them dark, dull and swirling, but many are just gray. They look as though they carry the water of the river inside of them, swishing and churning inside of their bottles. The shelves go on for what feels like forever, rising up towards the high ceiling, wrapping around the massive room. Heeseung pays you no mind, moving to a table that sits in the middle of the massive room. Most of the flooring is draped with carpets and seating, couches and chairs, tables and sitting areas. But in the middle of it, there is a table, covered with a cloth of black that is trimmed in silver, a pewter scale sitting on it.
“Don’t just stand in the doorway all day,” Heeseung says, moving around the bottles that are on the table already. You look over to him, noticing the way he separates them all into pairs. You walk over to him to watch him move, his brow creasing as though he’s working on a particularly difficult puzzle. You stand beside him, tilting your head as he finally picks two of them up.
“What’re you doing?” You ask and Heeseung lifts one into your line of sight. It is gray, as most of them are, swirling inside of its bottle.
“Mortal souls have weight,” Heeseung informs you and you nod in understanding. “Pay attention.” You nod again and he places one on one side of the scale. The scale drops and then he carefully places the second one, darker and duller than the other, onto the other side. The scale struggles to balance them, the darker of the two clearly heavier than the first. It weighs it down, leaving it uneven. “All things in balance,” Heeseung says, plucking the gray bottle from the scale and replacing it with another.
You watch as he readjusts, putting a different, equally as gray liquid filled bottle onto the scale. This time, the scale readjusts, and the two sides sit evenly with each other. Heeseung smiles to himself, picking them both up. You watch as he carelessly throws the both of them, your heart jumping into your throat. They shatter in midair, but nothing spills to the floor. It all seems to disappear from existence, both bottles gone before your very eyes.
“What did you do that for?” You ask and Heeseung turns to you.
“It was their time,” Heeseung tells you. “All the bottles that you see on this table, are well due for their death.” He nods to it and you look over to the way the table is absolutely littered with bottles. Every single one of them must represent a mortal soul. Which means…
“All of these bottles…” You begin, slowly turning to look at him, “are souls?” Heeseung nods in agreement. “So… the souls I’m worth…?”
“They’re… still on their shelves,” Heeseung sighs, rolling his eyes. “Without indication of their time, I haven’t been able to take them down, but you see now, don’t you?” He asks and you tilt your head. He huffs at you. “Your worth, Muse. Your soul is well worth at least 20 or 30 of these simple mortals.” He gestures to the table as whole, which looks as though it’s holding at least that many. “Your soul would tip the scale. Everything in balance,” Heeseung reiterates. “That is what I do. That is my purpose.”
“That is why you…” you trail off but something occurs to you. “But I couldn’t possibly weigh the same as a full fledged goddess.”
“No, you are inconsequential to the weight of a goddess. You will never measure up,” Heeseung sighs. “Unfortunately, I have no grasp of them anymore.” He turns around and you follow his gaze towards the back of the room. He walks towards it and you follow close behind, the case before you becoming clear as you get close enough.
Inside of a glass case, there are bottles, sealed with golden wax on their stoppers, swirling, glittering and effervescent. You watch the colors of them swirl inside of their bottles. Gold, and navy, and red, and white, and blue and purple. Your breath catches when you realize what you are looking at. You turn to Heeseung but he is already looking at you.
“I know not how it happened, but now every single one of my brothers is accompanied by a bottle.” A pair of gold bottles sits at the front but the rest of them are aligned with a bottle of the exact same matching color and shade. You watch them swirl and dance inside of their glass prisons, like the embodiment of joy. “I couldn’t have taken them if I tried,” he turns to look into the glass case with you. “It would’ve ruined everything. There is nothing in this world, in the entire cosmos, that would match the weight of their goddesses except for them.”
“So you would’ve—”
“My brothers hate me,” Heeseung says, “but I still love them. I couldn’t take their lives even if I wanted to.”
“Then why threaten them?” You ask. “Clearly, you couldn’t have them. Those goddesses aren’t yours to take. Why did you—”
“Why do they get to be happy?” Heeseung cuts you off, turning to you with a tense expression, his tone exploding out of him like he can barely hold it in. You jerk back, surprised. “Why do they get lovers while I’m left down here, alone? I may not have been able to kill them, but I have many empty rooms. Would I have taken them prisoner? Perhaps. Would I have found a way to keep them away from my brothers? Found a way to force my brothers to their knees just for what they crave most in the entire universe?” He shrugs. “Perhaps. After all they’ve done to me, would it have really been so bad?”
“You’re… diabolical. Evil. And self centered and greedy and—”
“If you think you’re going to hurt my feelings, think again,” Heeseung tells you. “There is not a thing under Sunoo’s shining rays that I have not been called by my very family.” He leans towards you. “I am not afraid of you, Muse. But don’t forget,” he tucks his finger under your chin, tilting your head up towards his. “When I could’ve taken them, I took you. I’m not truly as horrible as you think I am.”
“Then why take me?”
“Not everything I told you was a lie.” He leans back, letting his hand drop away from your face. “Now you’re more than welcome to stay, but there’s not much else to be seen,” Heeseung tells you. He walks back to his table, still strewn with bottles, carefully organizing them with gentle hands. “Also, every room is yours to choose from.” He waves a hand carelessly but you’re sure all the rooms in his large home have been unlocked. “Unless you can’t stand to depart from my bed,” he comments, looking at you from over his shoulder. You scoff, walking past him and out the doors. Heeseung waves a hand and you startle as the doors are suddenly slammed shut behind you.
For all that Heeseung took you, you spend an inordinate amount of time alone. It’s almost as if you never left the heavens, the only difference being that instead of lush green gardens and sparkling marble towers, it’s nothing but desolate gray stone and cavernous rooms and ceilings. You may have your pick of rooms, but none of them are truly that welcoming. Nothing in this place seems to be much other than a means to an end, a resting place for Heeseung to lay his head and do his work. Everything else is far, far from what one might consider homey.
You spend days wandering the halls, of which you discovered there are many, this lair seeming to be a gigantic labyrinthian maze the longer you walk around it. The doors you tried before are all unlocked, some of which belong to rooms while others lead deeper and deeper into this rockface you seem to be living on the edge of. You’re shocked when you can find your way back to the places you started, though you’re starting to think that’s the way of this place. What would Heeseung get by letting you get lost down here anyway?
The main hall is the only place where you see him though, but hardly does he seem to be doing anything other than what he apparently busies himself with at all hours. If he’s not in his library of souls he’s in his bedroom, presumably resting, and vice versa. He hardly pays you any mind, even when he walks right past you, the drape of his black cloak fluttering around him as he walks around, always his mind on something it appears.
You can understand what a lonely existence this must be, always being forced to do what is necessary of you, hardly ever having the time for anyone else. Not that it seems that anyone else seems to care about Heeseung, with the way he regards the world and its other Gods with such coldness. Even if you wanted to, you don’t know that you would know how to break through that icy exterior.
But you find yourself lonely too, retreating to your bedroom most days, or sometimes the edge of the river. You can’t help but be curious about it, watching the gray waters rush past. You don’t see souls approach the stone landing you sit on, legs pulled up into your body, your knees against your chest. Even though you thought for sure that you must, at least one or two of them, none of them seem to be able to make it over the top of the bridge and to you. Strange, isn’t that the meaning of the bridge?
“What’re you doing?” Heeseung asks, finding you on one such day you find yourself thinking about it. You don’t look at him though you know he looks at you with thinly veiled disdain. He always does.
“Aren’t souls supposed to cross the bridge?” You ask him. Heeseung sighs, looking over at where you’re staring at the wooden bridge before the two of you. “Why don’t they?”
“Souls are on the bridge, but hardly ever do they actually cross it,” Heeseung informs you. You lift your gaze from the bridge to look at him. “The Sanzu is not a destination, it is a journey. Souls are supposed to make their way across it, it’s what they’re meant to do.” He looks down at you, into your wondering eyes. He tsks softly. “So little you understand. Are all gods like this?” He questions and you look away from him, embarrassed. “If my brothers are going to fill your heads with stories, the least they could do is get them right. Honestly…”
“I know you don’t care for kindness, but would it really bring you so much harm to speak with any sort of understanding,” you admonish him, getting to your feet. Heeseung sighs at you yet again. “It’s no wonder your brothers can’t stand you when all you do is belittle them and act as though everyone is so beneath you. You may be powerful, but what use is the power you have when you’re forced to live a life of loneliness and solitude as a result of it?” Heeseung’s eyes don’t stray from yours and you scoff. You go to walk past him, but Heeseung grabs you by the wrist.
“Do you want to see the bridge?” He asks and you stop in your tracks. “I can show it to you. But you must not let go of me. It’s the only thing I require.”
“What would be the point?” You ask, glancing over your shoulder at him. Heeseung moves to your side, letting his hand slide down from your wrist to thread his fingers through yours instead.
“You want to know why souls don’t make it to the other side,” he says, standing at your side. Slowly you turn to face him, Heeseung lifting a brow at you. “Don’t you?”
Rather reluctantly, you agree, and Heeseung pulls you over towards the bridge. The wooden bridge is hooked onto the stone landing, surrounded by the rushing of gray water. Heeseung steps onto it, guiding you along behind him. You hesitate at the edge though, staying on the stone. Heeseung is stopped when you remain immobile and looks back at you, expectantly. You look back at him, apprehensively. Heeseung huffs and stands at the end of the bridge, still holding onto your hand.
“Don’t let go,” he tells you and you nod. You step onto the bridge behind him.
The feeling of being on the bridge is immediate, reminding you that you’re stepping onto a literal liminal space. The boundary between the earth and the afterlife surrounds you and you grip even tighter to Heeseung’s hand, though he doesn’t seem as perturbed by it. Perhaps he’s just used to it, he’s not bothered by the crushing feeling of being somewhere he shouldn’t be. Then again, maybe this is where he was always supposed to be. After all, he is shackled to this afterlife, his brothers once threw him into the abyss beyond the river, forcing him to guard it. Maybe this is just who he is now.
You walk alongside him for a long time, longer than you think is fathomable, the wooden planks and high railings of the bridge on either side of you your only company other than the god you cling to. You daren’t let go of him, not when that was the only thing he required of you. You clutch his hand like a child to their mothers, resisting the urge to lean into him.
Eventually, you start to see them. Your eyes widen when you see people, half formed and beginning to fade out of existence. Heeseung glances at you and then walks right down the middle of the bridge, the souls surrounding you moving around the two of you. They don’t seem to be seeing you, however, walking forward almost trance-like, like it’s the only thing they know how to do.
“These are the souls you wanted to see, aren’t they?” Heeseung says. He stops and turns to you, forcing you to do the same. “This is the middle of the bridge. We’ve already made it there. Once we cross this line, the souls will start to take on a more solid appearance. Some may even know their names or their families or some of their memories. The further we get from where we began, the more these souls will know of themselves.”
“Is that why they never make it to the end?” You ask.
“They’re not meant to,” Heeseung tells you. You stare at him in surprise. “Souls that make it across are souls that have expired. They’ll never be reborn again. Souls that don’t will be reborn. They’ll reincarnate, into another. Usually another person, if they’re on the bridge, but not always. Souls of exceptional depth and weight will be reborn as animals or insects, a way for them to lighten their load and try to become human again.”
“So… almost all souls are reborn?”
“Of course,” Heeseung tells you as though it’s obvious. “Why do you think it is so important that I maintain the balance?”
It all starts to come together in your mind. Balanced souls are reborn, they are brought back around to the next life, and if they are not taken at their time, they cannot be reborn. Every soul must be weighed, they are taken in pairs. If they are not equal, they cannot be taken. His brothers… by making those deals… they completely threw the order of the world. So many souls that should’ve been taken, they are still walking. So many lives that should’ve been weighed and reborn, following the proper cycle of all things. You are the exchange, you cannot be killed, or reborn, you can be equal to souls that are both alive and dead. Everything must be in balance.
“I could either have taken those lives, or I could’ve taken something that is the same. Do you see?” Heeseung asks and you look at him in wonder. “I’m not so cruel.”
“Is death not cruel?” You ask. Heeseung’s expression softens. It’s both unimaginably sad and understanding. He touches your cheek gently.
“Death might seem cruel, that is the state of things, but it is necessary,” he tells you. You blink up at him. “I didn’t understand either when my brothers forced me to do this, but I see now. As lonely as this existence is, I know that none of them could’ve been able to do this. I know that none of them would’ve been able to shoulder the weight of so much tragedy. Do I resent them for forcing it upon me? Of course I do. That does not mean I don’t see why it is necessary I do such a thing.”
“Do you…” Heeseung tilts his head at you. “Your soul? What does it weigh?”
“Nothing,” he tells you. “I can show you.”
The world melts away around you, only for it to rebuild itself into the shape of the room you found yourself in when you first arrived. You’re shocked by the feeling of stone instead of wood beneath your feet. You look around in shock when you can feel the heat of his kerosene lamps, fending off the chill of the stone. Heeseung’s hand drops away from your face and his hand leaves yours as he steps away from you.
He goes to a shelf along the wall, picking up a bottle. He brings it to you, holding it out to you. You look at it, shocked by what is inside. Or rather, what is not.
Something gaseous and black swirls around inside, like it’s fighting to get out. You watch for a moment, then reach a hand out to touch it. Before you can, Heeseung lets go of it and you watch in horror as it falls, smashing to the floor.
The glass shatters and then dissolves into nothing. Your eyes dart up to Heeseung’s face, watching a shiver rush through him, Heeseung trembling like a swift chill just ran down his spine. He meets your eyes again and smirks.
“Neat trick, isn’t it?” He says and you stare at him in shock. He looks at the shelf once more and there it sits, like he never picked it up, black gas moving restlessly around inside of it. “I’ve tried to break it a great many times, but you see, it’s useless. I’m chained to his plane, this damned world. It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t die. I’m not allowed.”
“But what does it weigh?”
“Nothing,” Heeseung sighs. He looks at you. “It weighs nothing at all. I assure you.”
“Have you tried?” You ask and Heeseung’s brow creases. “Against something. Anything? Surely it has to weigh something. Surely—”
“Did you listen to a thing I’ve told you since you arrived here?” Heeseung asks, his tone going tight and angry. “All souls are to be taken in balance. Every one of them. If my soul was meant to be taken, that would mean it would have to weigh the same as another. I can’t die so it can’t be weighed against anything else. There is nothing that will match its weight.”
“How can you be so sure?” You retort and Heeseung huffs, smirking at your naivety, rolling his eyes. “Have you tried everything? What about…” your eyes dart around in thought while Heeseung stares at you in thinly veiled amusement. You are dumber than he thought, he’s sure. He waits, watching as your eyes alight, meeting his eyes. “What about mine?”
“Yours?” He laughs. “Your soul? You think a godly soul could ever align in weight with mine?” He goes back and picks his bottle up off the shelf again, smirking at you. “Let’s see then, shall we?” he asks, pushing past you and out into the hall.
You follow after him, Heeseung leading you back to the library. He doesn’t pay any attention to the bottles on the table, standing behind the scale yet again. You move to his side, waiting to see but he doesn’t place his bottle down first. Instead, he reaches out and closes his fingers around the bottle tied around your neck, breaking the silver chain it hangs from. You gasp, but in his hands, your breath doesn’t stop. Heeseung smirks at you as the silver chain around it dissolves, leaving just the stoppered bottle.
“Let’s see your weight, Muse,” he comments, extending his hand to drop it on the scale. It tips dramatically, the plate your soul is sitting on almost touching the table top. “As I suspected,” Heeseung says, still looking at you, not even having glanced at the scale. “The value of your soul is unimaginable. Mine, however,” he says, lifting his own, nearly empty and lighter than air, “is nothing at all.”
He places it on the opposite plate and turns to look, fully expecting it to not move at all. He knows what he weighs, he’s weighed his soul more than he can even say, watching as the scale tips up and up and up, forcing his soul to rise above all else. There’s no way he could ever—
“They’re even,” you say and Heeseung’s eyes widen in shock as the two plates come together, sitting at an even keel. His soul sinks down to sit evenly with yours, despite the impossibility of it all. His heart feels like it’s being squeezed in his chest, his breath tight, watching with bated breath as they finally stop bobbing up and down, beside one another.
“No,” Heeseung whispers. “That’s impossible.”
“Clearly not,” you speak and his head turns slowly to look at you. Surely you still don’t understand what this means because you look at him without shock, clearly thinking you have bested him. His heart is racing in his chest, his mind is spiraling, he can’t imagine it. He can’t, not after everything, all this time. This is a mistake, it has to be, but still he moves towards you. You let him even when his fingers curl around your cheek.
“What are you?” He whispers softly, vehemently, looking you up and down as though he’s seeing you for the first time. Apprehension begins to paint your expression as you see the wild look in his eyes as he tries to figure you out. “What, in the cosmos, could you possibly be?” His words come out almost reverent, his other hand coming up to touch you, but instead it hovers over the curves of your body, like he can’t fathom your very existence.
“I don’t… know what you mean,” you finally speak again and Heeseung’s gaze finally focuses on your face again.
“You are so much more than a Muse,” he says, bringing his other hand up so that he may cradle your face between his hands. “You must be. You have to be.” You stare up at him, trying to read the wild look in his eyes, but it all disappears when they’re suddenly flaring to live with black flames. “Impossible,” he breathes.
His mouth descends upon yours like a storm, like a wildfire, his mouth taking yours in a kiss so world stopping, mind numbing you’re forced to clutch his wrists to keep upright. Your legs feel like they’re going to give out underneath you. Heeseung kisses you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, letting go of your face just to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you up against him. You’re forced to let go of his wrists, instead finding the sides of his neck, digging your fingers in when he forces his tongue further into your mouth, hands bunching up the fabric of your dress.
You’re surprised when you’re suddenly being forced up against the edge of the table, Heeseung’s hands grabbing at your body, lifting you onto the edge of it. The entire table shakes, bottles clatter against one another as you’re perched on the edge of it. His hands run over your body as he kisses you breathless, tongue running over the insides of your mouth like he hopes to memorize it. His hands move from your waist to your back and back down, to your hips and your thighs. You gasp into his mouth, which he swallows, tongue pressing into the softness of your palate as he digs his fingers into your exposed thighs, parting your legs so he can step between them. He brings your legs around his waist so he can lift you from the table, into his arms. You flail against him, wrapping your arms around him lest you fall. From this angle, you can gain an upper hand, forcing his head back with your hands on his jaw, kissing down into his mouth.
“Muse,” he moans into your mouth. It’s the most gorgeous sound, you don’t even mind the way he’s carrying you from the room, nearly stumbling into the wall when he’s moaning into your mouth. His hands are under your dress, feeling over your thighs and ass, blindly making his way to his bedroom with you clinging to him. You move your attention from his mouth to his neck, letting the blinding feeling of desire and need fill you. Heeseung moans fill your head as you mouth over his neck and jaw, burying your face into the crook of his neck.
He all but throws you onto the bed when he finally makes it to the room, still staring at you with flaming, blackened eyes. You feel helplessly pinned beneath his gaze, watching as he looks at you with flushed skin, chest heaving, lifting a hand to rip his cloak from his shoulders. A burning feeling starts to begin in your chest as he climbs onto the bed, crawling towards you. You lift a hand to it, spread out on the bed beneath him, trying to find the origins of it but Heeseung already knows it. He gets on top of you, all but tearing your dress open so he can look, finding where his name has been written into your skin. You look down to see it burning and glowing black, Heeseung staring down at it with dilated pupils.
“You can’t be,” he whispers but still his gaze lifts back to your face, open and surprised, eyes hazy with arousal. “You’re not mortal. You’ve never been mortal.” The words leave him like he can’t understand it.
“No, of course not,” you tell him but it doesn’t quell anything within him. If anything it makes him shake, unrestrained lust and desire surging through him. He pushes you down into the bed, hovering over the top of your body. You stare up at him, entranced by the look in his eyes. Somehow, you’re not scared, instead watching as his blackened eyes run over your form with something like adoration.
“How have you been hiding from me this whole time?” He whispers. Heeseung’s hands run over your body with adoration. He struggles with the tie of your dress, all but tearing it the rest of the way open so you can finally be revealed to him. You flinch back from his rough movements but once your dress has been opening, revealing your body, his touch becomes soft. Scorching and burning and flaming over every inch of skin he touches, hot enough to hurt, fanning a flame inside of you you didn’t know was there. You throw your head back, overwhelmed by it all as Heeseung leans down to kiss your chest, mouthing over the words he put on your skin. “It could’ve been you. I could’ve been first,” he moans brokenly into your skin, bringing his hands to your waist to slide them beneath you, gathering you in his arms.
You don’t know what he means, but it doesn’t matter. Your thoughts all disappear as you arch your back into his touch, his mouth moving over your skin with a desperation, tongue and teeth and lips. His kisses travel over your collarbones and your chest, licking over your nipples, making you clench the bedding beneath you. Further down, Heeseung showers you with affection, over your breasts to your ribs and stomach and waist. You look down to see him caress you with his mouth like he can’t get enough of your body, like he never wants to stop touching you.
Lying you out again, he moves further down, to your undergarments, which he hastily pulls down, your hips lifting to help him. You couldn’t imagine pushing him away. Heat melts through you, centering deep within your hips. Your undergarments are damp with your slick, dripping from you onto the bedding once he’s taken them from you. Heeseung doesn’t waste any time, parting your legs with gentle hands so he can get between them, letting his mouth run over your body once again.
“I needed you so badly,” he moans into your skin, lips kissing your lower stomach, over your hips, down towards where you need him. You still can’t find it in yourself to touch him, worried that it might break whatever desperate lust filled spell is filling his head. He keeps going, skipping where you need him most so he can kiss over your thighs, mouthing and sucking and licking and biting at the skin inside. You whimper, hips kicking when he avoids you, your cunt clenching and unclenching around nothing. You look down at him, watching as Heeseung finally lifts his gaze from your body once he’s finished biting a dark mark into your thigh. He rests his cheek against the inside of your thigh, panting heavily as he looks up at you with nothing less than adoration in his eyes.
“You have no idea what you are, do you?” He asks and you shake your head. “You’re what I need. You’re my other half.” He interrupts himself just to needily kiss your skin. “And all this time, you’ve been hidden from me.” Barely can he say a single sentence without kissing your skin with a desperation that bleeds from him. “Another great punishment from the cosmos, from my very mother who swore that I was never meant to be born. You were kept from me.” He crawls up your body, hands all over you, mouth trailing all across your skin, only to take your face in his hands once he’s knelt between your legs. “But no longer.” He swears, kissing across your chest, your collarbones, like devotion, like worship. “I’ll have you as I was always meant to.”
“Why do I not know?” You ask, tears building in your eyes with frustration. “I feel like I know nothing. I feel like I’ve never known anything at all.” You grab at him, fisting his shirts in your fingers. He lets you, looking at you with such softness you can’t stand it. “All this time, and I know nothing.” Heeseung brushes your tears away when they fall from your eyes. “Tell me you’re not lying,” you demand, pulling on him, forcing him closer. Your tone is tight, but it threatens to shatter like glass and Heeseung’s heart aches, listening to you beg for the truth. “Tell me you’re not lying to me. I couldn’t take it, after everything—” You cut yourself off with a sob.
“I am not lying,” Heeseung assures you. “Of all the things in these cosmos, I would not lie about this. Please, you have to believe me.” His own eyes have softened, dark brown and pleading with you. “Every soul is weighed because every soul is only half of what they are. Every soul is forever seeking their other half, even us.” He sounds breathless as he says it, stroking your cheeks like you’re made of glass. The most precious thing he could ever touch. “Even Gods. You are mine.” He presses kisses to your tear streaked cheeks. “You are my other half, my beautiful Muse.” He kisses your lips again, sweet and deep and desperate. You pull him closer, trying to get him against you, but his clothes rub uncomfortably against your skin. When he parts, he speaks into your lips, “And now I will have you, as I have always meant to.”
When he slips away from you, it’s to disrobe, his clothes peeling away from his gorgeous body. You watch from the bed as he strips them away, layers between your skin, until he’s able to move back to you, laying himself over you. His golden skin slides over yours, warm and sweet, his mouth making its way from your stomach to your chest as he drops down between your spread legs. His hands slide over your thighs to your hips and waist, gathering you in his arms once more. You wrap yours around him, finally allowing yourself to touch him, his lips caressing the burn of his name as he presses himself against your body.
He brings you into his lap, your legs parted around his hips. Heeseung departs from your skin just so he can look down, taking a hand from your back so that he might spread you open from him. You moan as his fingers run over your slick folds, gathering the wetness that drips from you to spread it over himself. Already his cock is hard and leaking, but still he needs more. Heeseung moans, teasing himself with the slick of you, pressing forward to align himself with your entrance. You’re more than he could ever hope for, he wants to savor this. He wants to have you for the first time as long as possible.
Your body aches for him as he carefully pushes himself inside of you. You lean forward to clutch him against you as you’re filled with him. You shift over his lap, all but straddling him, his hand leaving his cock to instead take you by the hip, dragging you down over him. Heeseung’s gasps and whimpers filter through your consciousness but it’s hard to focus on it when it feels like you’re being torn apart from the inside, fire and flames washing through you, a bone deep ache.
“You feel so good,” Heeseung moans into your cheek, his hands gripping you so tightly it hurts. “Like you were made for me.”
“I was,” you whisper into his ear, a shiver ripping through him.
His hands slide over your body, his lips pressing kisses to your shoulder and neck as he grips your ass, guiding you on top of him. Every stroke of him against your walls sends new, mind numbing, earth shattering waves of pleasure through you. You have to dig your fingers into his shoulders to keep yourself grounded to the reality of him, his body against yours, his hands on your body, to keep from floating away. Your eyes are constantly rolling, your body following his guidance so mindlessly, eating up every last ounce of pleasure he gives to you.
“So good,” you whisper into his ear. “Heeseung, please,” you whimper, choking a moan from his lips.
“Oh please,” he cries out. He forces you to move faster, building to a frantic pace, your hips meeting his with loud, wet slaps, your slick dripping out of you to stain his skin, dripping down between your bodies to the bedding. “Oh please, please,” he moans, head thrown back. You press your lips to his skin, kissing over the golden skin beneath you, watching as he trembles underneath you, wracked with pleasure like he’s never known before. “I need more,” he whimpers into your throat. “I need you.”
You pull him with you, down towards the bed. He falls with you, your back hitting the bed. You’re trapped beneath his body, your legs parted around his hips, Heeseung leaning over the top of you. His cock slips deeper inside, forcing you to take him at a different angle. You choke out a strangled moan as Heeseung adjusts for you. He takes your thighs in hand, pressing them back against your stomach, leaning over the top of you, making you cry out for him. Your hands find his wrists, digging into them as he starts to fuck you slowly, rolling his hips down into the tight press of your body, your knees over his shoulders. He looks down at you through flaming irises, watching your expression grow hazy, your mouth open, your eyes staring into his, unfocused and hazy.
“Like this?” He asks, going faster and faster. You throw your head back into the pillow as he takes you apart. His hands leave your thighs so he can take your hands in his, bringing them up beside your head, pinning you down with his hands on either side of your head. From this close, he can practically bend you in half watching from up close as you take him, over and over again, forced to experience every last mind breaking wave of pleasure that rushes through you.
Your eyes are transfixed on his eyes, the way they’re turning pitch black, soaking up all the light in the room, spreading out to fill even sclera, turning deep and endless. You can’t tear your eyes away from him as it happens, heat rising up from deep within your pleasure, aching through you, licking out at your every nerve ending. The heavy pressure of him inside of you, the feeling of him filling you over and over again, you can feel it building inside of you, closer and closer to the precipice.
“Heeseung,” you whimper, squeezing his hands in yours, your hips trying to buck up against his but unable to with the way he’s pressed you down into the bedding. “I- I-”
“Give it to me,” he whispers. “Let me feel you. Like I was always meant to.” He watches you as something dark and all consuming builds inside of you, flaring through the words on your chest, rising up into your eyes. Black and flaming, reaching out through your pupils, swallowing your irises, into your sclera. “Yes, yes, yes,” Heeseung moans. “Yes, beautiful. Become mine.”
You cry out, head thrown back as it tears through you, your cunt spasming around his cock. Cum gushes out of you, dripping and adding to the mess between your bodies. Heeseung grips your hands, chasing the way you tighten around him, over and over and over until it breaks over him too. His eyes close, mouth falling open as he comes apart inside of you, filling you up.
In the library, left alone on the scale, Heeseung’s bottle glitters. The gaseous form inside turns silver, sinking down to the bottom. The liquid inside swirls against the side of the glass, splashing and lashing and churning until it settles down, idling at the bottom of the bottle. A perfect match to your own.
“Do you really think I could’ve been first?” You ask, lying in bed beside him once you’ve both cleaned up. You’re cradled against his chest, like he can’t imagine letting go of you. You rest your head on his chest, his arms wrapped around your waist, a hand rubbing up and down your side. Heeseung hums from above you, as though truly still thinking it over.
“If things had been different, perhaps you would’ve,” Heeseung says.
He knows well how different things could’ve been. He knows that his mother always resented him, feared him perhaps, for all the power he possessed. He was the one who killed their father, he was the one who helped form the Earth, he was the one who made the very first human. Heeseung’s always had power unlike anything else, and for that their mother feared that he might one day turn on all of them. It was with great fear and resentment for her eldest child that she turned to her other sons, begging them to stop him. He knows that, had their mother had her way, they would’ve killed him, but they didn’t. Instead Heeseung was thrown to the abyss beyond the river, chained to an eternity of doing what they feared he would’ve destroyed. Maintaining a careful balance.
Their mother did everything in her power to destroy what Heeseung created, including humans. It killed her, what she did, trying to undo what her son had done. She unthreaded human souls, forcing them into two, doing what she thought was necessary to be sure that her son’s creations could never fulfill what she feared most. Dethrone the sons she loved so desperately. She tore herself apart to do it, hiding the truth from her six sons in the hope that they would never discover it.
Truly, Heeseung knew this might happen. His brothers were built in his image, he knew they would never be whole on their own. He, though, he thought maybe he would be. His mother was more devious than he thought. She must’ve known otherwise for how else would you be a God if she had not purposefully hidden you from him?
“If things had been different, I wouldn’t have had to go to such lengths to find you. I would’ve… maybe I would’ve had you a long time ago.” He looks down at you and smiles gently. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, making you smile as well. “I would’ve torn the world apart for you if I knew they were hiding you from me,” he whispers into your skin. “You know this, don’t you?”
“I know it,” you agree.
a/n: *the unprotected sex depicted is both purposeful and symbolic, engage in safe sex practices like condoms and contraceptives in real life. safe sex saves lives; i'm not crying, you're crying. honestly, i'm crying though, this was such an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime story to get to write and i'm so, so unbelievably happy with how it turned out and how it's ending. i hope you guys love as much as i do and thank you will never be enough to thank all of you for being so wonderful and kind and invested in this story as much as i was. i think it's so amazing, the pantheon is truly a one of a kind story. thank you so much for doing it with me. and so ends the pantheon.
perma. taglist: @ducksstolemybread @dr0wnme0ut @pockettwinzz @emi-en @lilyuwon @deobitifull @oddracha @skzenhalove @nyfwyeonjun @bunhoons @ministrawberrywithchocolate @heeshlove @nshmrarki @avaleyshin @zeeloveshee @nyxtwixx @enha-bie @manifestobackshot @onlyuyu @in-somnias-world @hoonmine
series taglist: @baekxo07 @pinksweetlittlepiano @hooniebaekgu @starfallia @heelovesmeknot @lovgfrd @xiaoderrrr @jakayval @jaeyunluvr @jungwonloveer @j5yy @seunghancore @binniesbabe @strxwbloody @vveebee @cherlv @aileeeeeeeeeeeee @yongbokified @immelissaaa @fertilizedtoesw @sumzysworld @emberuby @sunshine-skz @nicleyrou @rikibun @lilactangerine @iveivory @yoonzns @addictedtohobi @wonnie99 @enha-stars
perv!bestfriend!Heeseung headcanons (mdni)
Thinking about perv!best!friend!Heeseung who gets instantly rock hard whenever you wear those tight little shorts, imagining bending you over and ripping them down to eat your ass and pussy from behind until you're a whimpering, dripping mess.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who can't keep his cock from throbbing whenever you lick your lips or suck on a lollipop, wondering how that talented little mouth and tongue would look and feel slurping up and down his veiny shaft and fondling his heavy balls.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who stares shamelessly at your tits whenever you wear a low-cut top, dying to rip it open, shove your funbags together and tittyfuck you until he drenches your flushed cleavage and neck with his thick, musky load.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who gets insanely turned on watching you fidget and squirm, desperately wanting to pin your wriggling body down on his bed, spread your thighs and bury his face between your legs to slurp up your sweet honey.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who feels like an animal anytime he catches a whiff of your perfume or natural musk, senses heightened with the urge to drag you into the nearest private space, yank your panties aside and absolutely rail you until his scent is dripping down your thighs.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who fights back groans during hugs, your supple body pressed against his instantly making him swell with throbbing temptation to grind his hardness against you as he ravishes your mouth and paws desperately at every curve.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who needs to step away whenever you bite or lick something, fighting the primal hunger to shove his dripping cock past those teasing lips, forcing you to your knees as he brutally facefucks you until you're gagging and sputtering on his load.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who gets dangerously close to snapping whenever your legs are exposed, violent daydreams of spreading them wide, burying his face between your milky thighs and eating that pretty little slit from clit to peach until your juices are smeared across his chin.
perv!best!friend!Heeseung who craves the debauched image of you kneeling naked in front of him, pleading through wrecked sobs for him to abuse your holes as he degrades you, smearing his pre-cum over your beaten cheeks before brutally throat-piping you until you blackout from oxygen deprivation.
This was so amazing…
I offer you my everything (lhs)
pairing: heeseung x afab!reader
synopsis: You never cared about sex, until you did. You grew too afraid of it, scared of disappointing the other person or showing your inexperience. But then you met Heeseung, the hot basketball captain that stole your heart and became your biggest fantasy.
my's note: i loved working in this so much. also i wanna emphasize that for god’s sake do not “lose” your virginity due to pressure or anything related to others. do it because you want to!! take your time, there’s no such thing as being too old for it neither need to rush. you have to enjoy it! that being said, i hope you enjoy this writing 🤭
warnings: fluff, pet names, explicit language, reader is insecure about having sex and some other things, SMUT - so minors DO NOT interact!, virginity loss, kinda pillow princess reader (she doesn’t know what to do, so she just lay down and enjoy), protected sex 💪🏻, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), quick handjob. lmk if I missed something!
wc: 21k
NOT PROOFREAD.
taglist 💖: @yvnempire
Entering college was your dream come true.
There was a whole fantasy of how your life would change for the better, the new ways of seeing life, dealing with problems – new problems!, meeting new people, going to university parties, starting your adult life. Everything sounded ethereal, almost utopian, and although you were a very down-to-earth type of person, you never stopped your imagination from flowing through the excitedly new unexplored area.
You used to have a very simple and ordinary life in your hometown, going to school everyday, getting great grades, not really engaging with romantic relationships and having a normal amount of friends and people who cared about you.
Your parents were good people but quite strict with how you should live your life. It wasn’t much of a problem because whatever they were afraid of you getting into and “losing yourself” wasn’t really your cup of tea; you never really cared about having a boyfriend or a girlfriend – and your dad vehemently explained to you how disappointed he would be if you started to date someone with no goals in life or whatever. Doing drugs was way out of your interests, but you were very curious about the whole alcohol thing. And well, you wanted to become a journalist one day, so you pretty much studied for it and made your parents proud of you.
Overall your life was very… vanilla. And a strong part of you wanted it to be a bit spicy.
Not in an exaggerated way – and you had no problem with who wanted their lives to be –, nevertheless you wanted to really live the university experience, so your first months in college were actually dreamy, especially for being away from your parents’ grip and finally trying the taste of what freedom felt like.
You met your classmates and respectives professors, you got to know better about the available clubs and how to enter them, and you met your roommate, Ryujin, which thankfully ended up having enough common interests with you to make a healthy friendship grow.
Making friends wasn’t a big problem to you as well, because even though you normally showed a very reserved version of yourself at the beginning, people around you just fell for your charms naturally, wanting to be close to you for your aura at first and then because of how supportive and funny you were once they got to know you better.
Now, in your second year, you already had a spot on a small group of friends, who everyday would try to meet during lunch time to catch up on things and not freak out with the amount of assignments they were dealing with.
The conversation always flowed nicely, you never felt insecure about sharing a piece of your mind with them since they listened to you well. You were really glad to have people like that in your daily life.
However, there was a single topic that you often would shut up about to avoid being the center of attention, and the said topic was an ongoing conversation right at that moment.
“I need to get laid,” Julie, one of your closest friends, said in a very dramatic way. You forced a smile that you were pretty sure that looked very awkwardly placed on your face.
You could feel your heart beating fast with the idea of you becoming the subject in that conversation.
“What you really need is a good night's sleep,” Yunjin added with a chuckle, patting Julie’s head who shot a slightly upset look back at her.
“For that I need to sit on someone. Like, I can literally feel my body aching for a dick,” she explained, keeping the drama in her tone as if she was sick. There was a reason for Julie to be in the theater club afterall.
“For God’s sake,” Yunjin muttered, rolling her eyes but not really bothered by her friend’s behavior. She was pretty much used to it at this point, and well, quite the same but with girls.
You just watched as they both bickered with each other, hoping for you to stay out the fire and wondering when that conversation would finally become just a reminiscence of your day.
There was no shame on you for being a virgin. It was quite literally your choice since having sex was your last priority during your teenage years although you had guys interested in you in that aspect.
You weren't expecting the right one, your prince charming, nor to get married before. You just never cared much about having sex, and once you started to care you never felt comfortable enough with someone to show yourself so vulnerable, so openly like sex seemed to be.
Once your university life started to kick in and attending parties became a part of your weekends, you really thought that you would finally be able to free yourself enough to have someone with you in a bed, naked, doing sexual things or whatever. But what really happened was you feeling endlessly frustrated with yourself for panicking, finding lame excuses to run away from the possibility of having sex every time a makeout session started to be a bit more intense.
Alongside that often reaction of yours, you went through a tough moment with a specific guy, one you let yourself comfortable around, leading to you one day being in his bedroom while sharing a passionate kiss. With the amount of reassurance he showed you through the whole moments you were just flirting, you thought that sharing that you never had sex before wouldn’t be a problem. He was about to undress you from your bra when you told him, and then he halted his movements, overreacting as he said “I’m no sex teacher to teach college girls how to have sex”.
You never felt so humiliated in your whole life. Not only it became a trigger but also a new thing to overthink; the fact that some guys would see you as too innocent for their sex drive, refusing to do anything with you.
Nevertheless, you were still a woman with desires, with a libido waiting to be directed and mostly, curiosity.
Your mind would flee to dirty, lascivious places whenever you saw a character you found attractive, such as actors, singers or even real life crushes, sometimes doing the bare minimum but still sparkling in your sexual self, wetting your panties – and in those days you blamed your ovulation.
But the moment you tried to fulfill your fantasies with real people, your body refused to relax, your mind never stopping from the constant overthinking about either disappointing or just showing how inexperienced in the practical area you were, ending up embarrassing yourself.
Since you also never looked out for the help of your friends, none of them knew about that part of your life and you always shared a silent feeling of gratitude for the lack of their interest in that area.
The whole theme being a main focus on conversations constantly made you pretty uncomfortable, because everyone showed to enjoy their sexual lives fully, without any problems like you.
Although you had very incredible friends that you could rely on, you couldn’t help but feel the anxiety of being judged by them, so you always opted to stay quiet or managed to redirect the discussion.
As if someone had listened to your prayers, you noticed another friend of yours – Jake – coming in your direction with a big smile, his backpack hanging loose off his shoulders and someone a bit too familiar alongside him.
You waited for them to be closer to try to recognize the strange and… Shit.
Your breath got stuck in your airlines when you realized that the guy with Jake was Lee Heeseung.
Your eyes followed how he took a seat in front of Jake, who sat beside you. None of your friends stopped the playful argument when they both arrived at the table, and for a little while you were glad for that, because you for sure couldn’t hide your surprised face and sudden dizziness for having Heeseung that close, looking unnecessarily attractive with his usual sly grin, messy black hair and strong presence.
Heeseung was the basketball captain of your university team.
You harbored a love for sports since childhood, not in a way of being a player but a watcher. During the first weeks of college you discovered that your university had a basketball team and you got really intrigued. Since then, it became your hobby to go over and watch them practicing during your free time or just to study for a while using the sound of balls bouncing on the floor as a background.
It was during one of your study days that you first met Jake, when he accidentally threw a ball in your direction and although you safely dodged, he insisted on taking you to what he called a date, but you weren’t much interested in him like that so you two became friends.
Jake was definitely hot, but, well… You had a big crush on the very much attractive ace of the team.
His movements looked meticulously calculated as if he had control of every part of his body, his pretty smiley face whenever he scored a point making your heart miss a few beats, not to mention the shameless winks he gave towards the girls who were watching the match just to make them scream. His overall performance was just sensational, making you wonder if the hands that were harshly used to grip the ball would grip your hips the same way.
Yeah, one of the in real life crushes you would get wet just by thinking about.
You forced yourself to believe that you had everything under control, since crushing on Heeseung was a waste of time and a sentence to have your heart shattered. You knew about his fuckboy reputation and definitely wasn’t planning on being the talk of the week of the “lucky girl that Heeseung fucked” or anything similar, neither wanted to face the consequences of getting involved with him – the amount of gossips going around with your name would increase considerably as people would try their best to destroy your self-esteem.
Or at least that’s what you heard from your friends, wondering for a long time if people were exaggerating just because of jealousy.
You weren’t that desperate to lose your virginity, although the thought of losing it to Heeseung seemed quite interesting – but, again, impossible.
Heeseung's existence in your life always resembled to be like an idol. Not in a sense of you idolizing him, but as someone you were intrigued by, loving to watch him by far, never getting close enough given that nothing could even happen between you two, especially because how would two different worlds collide like that?
So in your own defense of how your body was reacting, no one prepared you to be so close to him without a previous warning, even with the fact that Jake was friends with Heeseung. Your brain just insisted on forgetting that eventual possibility.
“What are you guys talking about?”
And then you really panicked.
You also forgot that Jake was pretty much a gossiper and would rather know what the table was talking about instead of bringing another new subject to it. And now there was Heeseung sitting with all of you, making it harder to breathe and to focus on any other thing. You could feel the sweat dampening your armpits, the idea of you having to talk about your sexual life haunting you to death at that moment.
“Me getting laid,” Julie answered with a cheeky smile.
“Oh,” Jake was taken back with her quick and honest response, you could notice by the way he slightly widened his eyes. Heeseung just laughed. And what a pretty fucking laugh.
“Don’t act like you never fucked in your life, Jake,” Yunjin said narrowing her eyes skeptically, adding to the fuel.
You felt your cheeks and the top of your ears burning. And not only that, there was a very intense gaze right towards you that you refused to look up to meet. The scrunched napkins on the table looked way more interesting than anything else at that moment.
“I’m still not used to all your… Openness,” he motioned with his hands as he explained. You mentally cursed Jake’s oblivious self for giving Julie the right words for her to be even more blatant in her dramatic speech.
“Oh boy, I really wish I’d be open–”
“Julie!” Yunjin now screamed flabbergasted with Julie’s audacity, laughing loudly and smacking her friend's shoulder while you hid yourself in your hands, fully embarrassed. You couldn’t hold back a small, kind of a relieved laugh because the topic apparently was about to end.
You heard Heeseung chuckling with them and decided to search for his eyes just to meet them already on you, shamelessly checking you out. You instantly avoided his not a little soft glances at your chest and lips, but not with enough time to fail to perceive how he bit his bottom lip while still smiling.
“Care to present your friend?” Yunjin directed the question to Jake when she stopped laughing.
“I thought you already knew Heeseung,” Jake sounded confused.
“We do, but I don’t know if Y/N do,” she explained, pointing to you.
Now every pair of eyes on the table was on you and normally that wasn’t a big deal, you loved the attention your friends gave whenever you were the one speaking. But Heeseung being the owner of one of those pairs made it difficult for you not to blush harder.
“O–oh,” you damned yourself for stuttering, swallowing nothing. “I actually know him too, yeah. I– I watch the uni basketball practices sometimes.” You tried to sound cool, forcing a very awkward smile, but your voice was so obviously nervous you just wished no one would notice.
However, Heeseung’s lips curved into a smirk told you that he, at least, noticed. And was enjoying seeing you so flustered.
“I’ve seen you there a few times”, it was his first words since he sat with your group, his voice sounding quite different from when you normally heard him – screaming in the basketball court with his teammates to hype them up.
Your heartbeat was loud inside your chest, and you wondered if the reason behind was because of Heeseung’s intense presence, or how dreamy his voice sounded, or the fact that he had perceived you in his games. All the options sounding very unnecessarily smitten to you, who usually knew your place, grounded with your feelings, but apparently not with Heeseung and his charming face.
Jake nodded, smiling cutely at you. But not a cutely you enjoyed seeing; it was a mischievous grin. You gulped.
“Heeseung insisted on sitting with us today, saying he wants to get to know you better,” Jake nudged your shoulder with his’, wiggling his eyebrows while the girls hummed teasingly at you.
You widened your eyes, your cheeks with a tone of red spreading all over. You noticed Heeseung’s cherry colored lips still with a petty grin, his eyes slightly hooded as he faced you. That alone was enough to get yourself worked up, sending signals directly to your cunt.
You literally clenched around nothing just because Heeseung smirked at you while holding eye contact.
Of course you would react like a teen that just got a confession from her crush mixed with a pervert that never had sex in her life and got horny by little things – which, in part, was true.
Nevertheless, hearing Heeseung laugh along with Jake’s next words completely dashed your hopes and your arousal away.
“I’m joking. It’s funny and cute how you always react with things like this.”
You now had to blink a few times to recompose yourself just enough to fake a smile, trying not to demonstrate that your panties were a bit damp and you, frustrated.
“Not funny to play with a girl's feelings, Jake,” Julie uttered when she noticed your slight discomfort.
Now it was the time to take your realistic persona and act out of the situation, as you pulled your best facial expression in order to cover your kind of hurted heart. “There are no feelings,” you urged to say with a forced laugh, failing to notice Heeseung’s smile dropping for a second. “Yeah, it’s funny now, but I’m pretty sure you were on the verge of crying when I refused to go with you on that date,” you cocked your head with a raised eyebrow facing Jake, watching his expression contort in all the five stages of grief at once, his lips parted with widen eyes at the end.
“You’re mean,” he whined and you laughed.
“Only for you,” and you gave him a little wink before standing up and gathering all your things on the table to put back on your backpack. “I gotta go now, see ya later?” You looked at your girl friends who just nodded and said a cute goodbye to you, avoiding eye contact with Heeseung as you did so.
As you made your way to your upcoming class, your mind automatically flooded with thoughts about what just happened; you yourself questioning for how long you would be able to hide your inexistent sexual life from your friends, or even if you should keep doing it, due the fact that they could help you get over your insecurities and apprehensions.
Besides, it was becoming quite unbearable to cope with the frustration of wanting, yearning, and desiring, yet never being able to make a move beyond it.
And since when would Heeseung pay genuine attention to you? You couldn’t deny that even with your head making sure to remind you of the unrealistic nature of things happening with Heeseung, your feelings seemed to have been crushed in a very hurtful way.
There was a part of you that believed a bit in the fantasy of him being a very warm and approachable guy who would do cute things with you, respect your space and time and also be the one who you have sex with.
On the other hand, you constantly reinforced the thought of being impossible and somehow weird. You felt weird. Like a true pervert of some kind.
You spent the whole class thinking about what Jake said and how Heeseung's eyes wandered your features with something very similar to what you saw in some other guys. Desire.
But at that point you comprehended that your mind had started to like to make things up. Jake was lying after all.
You just wished for your sentiments and needs to vanish quickly, or at least for you to be able to replace the person. In any case, you decided to avoid the basketball court for a few days.
Not showing up to watch the team’s practice and games did not prevent you from running into Heeseung almost everyday, which was the main reason behind your decision – to get over your silly little crush on him.
Apparently fate had other plans for you and you honestly didn’t know how to feel. Heeseung began to be part of your group hangouts alongside Jake, now being a regular presence to the point where your friends would frequently ask his whereabouts, as if everyone in the group suddenly grew a liking for him.
And honestly, you couldn’t blame them. Apart from your tangled, weird feelings that for sure had something to do with how you envisioned him, Heeseung revealed to be a genuine sweet, caring person, easily breaking parts of your pre-concept about his stereotypes.
His “player” aura was fading little by little, even though his confident demeanor kept its place on his every move.
Heeseung had gleaming eyes shooting you the most flirtatious, intense gaze, with equal glistened lips adorning the most endearing smirk, enough to make you lose your words, to lose your mind. Not to mention how often his body leaned towards yours in order to give you full attention.
Heeseung would cock his head and glance at your lips whenever you were the one speaking, simple behaviors messing you over and over, tempting you to dive into the pool of the unexplored, the so lustful field you never let yourself do a proper investigation, too afraid of surrendering to your feelings and needs.
The more you got to know him, the harder it became to dismiss the growing admiration and longing feeling running all over your body. Heeseung wasn’t just some fleeting crush anymore. He became something you couldn’t name yet, still fuzzing your mind, the crawling sensation on your skin wanting more and more of whatever he had to offer – just a look, just a smile, just some words, just some gentle brush of skins. Anything.
At some point your chest started to palpitate just by the mention of his name, your blood running cold instantly as your whole posture changed, terrified of someone knowing about your feelings, about your dirtiest thoughts, about how he would visit your dreams at night to show you how much you craved his body.
God, you were so fucked up, so desperate, and nonetheless, hesitant.
Something strongly held you back, even with Heeseung’s attempts to become closer to you, asking direct questions to you, trying nonstop to get to know you better, just like Jake once told you he wanted to.
You never let him in. Not openly, not with your words, not in front of him – you refused to risk having a broken heart because Heeseung was simply being his normal self and you, seeing beyond his charming facade.
Heeseung had occupied a spot in your mind from day one, ever since his damp, sweaty hair stuck on his forehead together with a cocky smile seemed way too attractive to your eyes and you began to pay more attention to his existence. That was true. But you only allowed him to do his proper mess inside your head after de-idolizing him; after the looks he gave to every other girl started to have you as the main target, after his hands “accidentally” brushed on yours during your moments sitting side by side sending shivers throughout your body, after he questioned about how you day have been and actually paid attention to your answer, your stomach doing flips every time.
Heeseung was now part of your thoughts because he showed genuine affection and worry about you, without you asking for it. And alongside all of that, he was so fucking and unnecessarily hot.
But what if all of this was just a game? Just another girl he messes around with, playing with her feelings just because he can. Just because he's attractive and you're foolishly falling for him…?
…Falling for him?
“Stop overthinking,” Sunoo’s voice cut your roam of thoughts as he appeared out of nowhere, dropping his books on the table before sitting across you in the library, catching you totally off guard.
“Damn it, Sunoo!” You nearly screamed, covering your mouth to restrain it, ignoring the librarian's angry glare.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he chuckled softly. “But your frown is screaming at me, what’s on your mind?”
“Ahm, just some media ethics stuff, y’know–”
“Cut that off, sweetie. I’m not asking about your studies. You know that. I’m asking about your frown, your overthinking frown,” he said, gently pressing his finger on your forehead. “What’s really going on in there?”
You sighed.
The two of you had met in your first year when you realized you shared almost all your classes. Since then, Sunoo had become one of your closest friends – the trustworthy one, the always-down-for-anything one, and also the one who worried about you the most. He was a comforting presence, someone you could rely on to listen to your concerns and anxieties without judgment.
Still, despite this, you felt nervous. Your eyes darted around searching for any eavesdroppers, a few students scattered throughout the library, deeply focused on their studies, oblivious to your conversation. Yet your tense nerves inhibited you from sharing your true worries as you opened and closed your mouth a few times without being able to talk.
“Do you want to go somewhere else?” Sunoo asked softly, eyes offering you comfort as he held your hands and caressed them.
You nodded, watching his body instantly lifting up from his seat to help you grab your things and his own, snatching your hand with his to drag you around the campus until you found a quiet place near some trees.
“Go ahead, sweetie,” Sunoo said as he leaned in one of the trees, watching your gaze avoiding his and your cheeks reddening a bit.
“I’m having some troubles, personal problems, if I’m being honest…” Sunoo said nothing, just nodded his head in a reassuring way although you weren’t looking at him. “It’s–” you gulped. Your mind screaming at you to shut up, because you were certain he would make fun of you. Sunoo, the guy who always had people crushing on, definitely would not understand what you are going through. You searched for his eyes, just to find them filled with compassion. “I’m–” You shut your eyes searching for the best way of saying. “I’m a virgin,” you blurted out in a low tone, your face burning with embarrassment as you refused to open your eyes.
However, Sunoo's nonchalant reaction took you by surprise. “Okay, and?” Then you blinked a few times, trying to comprehend the lack of judgment. This was not what you prepared yourself for. “What’s the problem?” He sounded genuinely confused with your dumbfounded expression. “That’s all? I mean, if it’s really bothering you we can talk through it, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal, sweetie…”
“So… You think that’s normal for a college girl to be a virgin? You don’t think it’s something to be weird or to be asham–”
“My dear Y/N,” he cut you off by holding your head softly to look directly into his eyes. “First of all there’s no such thing as what's normal or not normal when it comes to many things. Also, please never let someone make you feel ashamed of who you are or how you’ve chosen to live your life, ok?” Your honest reaction was to stare at Sunoo in astonishment. “Promise me, Y/N.”
“I promise,” your voice was muffled since he was holding you still.
“Now spill the real tea, because I’m pretty sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.”
So you vented out about everything running through your mind, your worries, your genuine curiosity mixed with a fear, how you were aching for something you were too afraid of getting – or letting yourself to get.
Relief ran throughout your body, as Sunoo made you comfortable enough to go subject by subject in order to help you name all of your nameless and confused feelings, including to situate where your expectations were set. You wanted your first time to be enjoyable, that’s for sure, so you had to be with someone who would help you erase your turbulent thoughts by reassuring you regularly – a one night stand type of thing was not an option, you realized with Sunoo.
You shared your apprehension on disappointing with your lack of experience, and to that Sunoo settled your nerves by saying “If the person respects you, you don’t have to worry about that,” and you discovered another name for what you wanted.
The anguish of not knowing what to do or where to go was slowly diminishing every time you labeled what previously you were able to describe only as a ‘bittersweet feeling of panic and desire’.
You also didn’t need to directly mention Heeseung, Sunoo himself brought his name after connecting the obvious dots of the said crush being Heeseung, especially since his glances at you and your reactions to it were anything but subtle.
“Don’t have to worry about that either, sweetie. I don’t think any of the others noticed it, they’re too oblivious sometimes,” Sunoo calmed you down after you almost cried due to your embarrassment of someone noticing your messed up self.
Something Sunoo said reverberated throughout your day as well. “You will always be a virgin if you don’t have sex. And if you’re afraid of having sex because you’re a virgin, it’s an unsolved paradox.”
Your talk with Sunoo eased your mind, but also introduced a whole new scenery of thoughts – gladly not anxious one. You were depriving yourself of your own pleasure, of your own desire. And perhaps the real reason was because you feared… liking it.
So after a good night of sleep, you decided to head out to your favorite place during your free time: the basketball court. Not necessarily to watch anything – or someone in particular, but to ponder what you had going through your head the whole night ever since Sunoo’s advices and sweet, reassuring words.
Of course your choice of place would lead you to probably bump into a specific someone, and part of you really hoped for that.
While you drank your iced coffee, you wondered if Sunoo was being serious when he said that the talk about Heeseung in most cases was disconnected with reality. He didn’t explain much about it, but what he said was enough to intrigue you.
“Hey,” a far, but known voice snapped you out of your trance, and instantly your whole body heated.
You watched Heeseung jogging in your direction, panting a big, sweat dripping off his temples and his arms in display for you since he was wearing a sleeveless shirt.
“It’s been a while since I last saw you here,” he said, shooting you a small smile, easily walking through the seats by skipping them with his long legs until he got closer.
“Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy,” you answered, fighting yourself not to tremble and to avoid glazing your eyes on his body, the team’s uniform looking gorgeous in contrast with his skin tone.
“Missed you, Y/N,” Heeseung talked with a gentle voice, his usual sparkly eyes growing wide as he realized what he just said. “I mean, I missed you being around, y’know,” he tried to play it cool and due to your nervous self, you barely noticed he was going through the same emotion.
He was so attractive, and for some reason the mix of his perfume with his sweat inebriated your air lines, making it a little difficult to breathe.
Little did you know that Heeseung was in a similar state, lost in how cute you looked that day, your comfy outfit and the single ponytail doing your face features justice by letting them shine with a natural beauty you carried confidently.
Heeseung noticed you on the very first day you appeared to watch a game. He normally paid little to no real attention to who watched his practice, the flirty glances and winks thrown at the crowd usually was just for fun and no one in particular, but your sudden appearance was overwhelming, his stomach did flips and his so focused self was faltering before your presence.
He had to take a good, long, cold shower after in the locker room to try to get over his exaggerated reactions. How does one get his heart pounding so fast, hands sweating and distracted concentration just because they are good looking?
He for sure knew plenty of attractive people, but none got his heart aching and his body craving like you did.
“I’m sorry, I know I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you acted out of your bubble a bit. That would be a normal saying by you, actually. But around Heeseung you worked differently, actions more withdrawn than ever, flustered by the fact that his focus was on you, and only you.
You barely had any moments alone with Heeseung, most of the time some friend of yours was engaged in the conversation as well, so to talk directly to him without having another person to cover up your nervous state was pretty difficult, especially by the way he held eye contact on you, as he was reading every bare piece of you.
“Yeah, I really don’t know what to do without you,” Heeseung put his hand on his heart dramatically as he said and you blushed, pushing his shoulder and avoiding looking at his face.
And well, he wasn’t lying.
Your constant attendance, whether to really pay attention to what was happening or just to quietly study as you regularly did, threw his mind into chaos. Heeseung had to physically restrain himself from jumping across the seats to ask for your number at first, your aura seeming a bit coy to him – not in an off putting way, but in a way that made him think you deserved someone better than what he could offer. Alongside that, he believed there was no way a hot, beautiful and smart girl like you would pay any attention to him.
It wasn't like Heeseung was insecure, he knew his strengths and how to work with them. A line of girls would eagerly wait for a chance to spend a night with him, though he never went that far with many of them, choosing carefully who he led to his room or allowed in his life.
Nevertheless, the feeling of having that kind of attention was addicting. To feel desired by them fed his ego, he never denied that.
That alone convinced Heeseung that you, out of all his options, would never let him taste a crumb of what he really wanted from you.
And then there was the moment he got to know about Jake being friends with you.
His instincts told him to give up, but he had to try, a demeanor similar to a man who never saw a woman in his life before, just to get a little bit of whatever you would give to him.
Heeseung grew obsessed with your presence, with you. Yet never bold enough to do much about it, too afraid of your so certain rejection. Then you suddenly disappeared and he missed you like crazy, to the point of befriending your friends simply to have a bit of your presence in his daily life.
To get you know better did no good to his health at all. He got enthralled by your sarcastic, funny personality, your endearing laughs and genuine love for your friends, spilling through your actions and words, always supporting them without losing your humor.
Heeseung got a small taste of how it feels to have you around and he grew addicted – even more than for the feeling of being desired by many, more thrilling than the praise for his performance or the rush of winning a game. At the end of the day, Heeseung wanted your attention and your praises.
After realizing it, he decided to step up on his game.
“So…” Heeseung cleared his throat after your silence. “Are you free later?”
The question itself had nothing openly implied, just a normal, simple and direct ask. But God, why did your heart started to beat so fast? Why did your face felt like fire burning all over it?
You forced yourself to meet Heeseung's gaze, his eyes filled with anticipation and eagerness, just like your reply could change the whole path of his life.
“Ahm, yeah, kinda. Why?”
You watched as his expression lighted up and how he tried to hold back his smile while scratching the back of his neck. Spotting Heeseung apparenting to be nervous ignited a different, sudden feeling inside you, as if you now understood that you affected him in some way. Or that he was a very good actor.
“I was wondering if you would like to come over to my place– We’re going to throw a small party, so it’d be cool to have you there,” he nodded to himself, proud for not stuttering at all. When did inviting a girl to a party become that hard?
Unfortunately for him, you paid close attention to his behavior and body language, how he avoided looking at your eyes even though he was the king of maintaining eye contact while speaking and how his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as if he swallowed hard. All the pieces together put you in a new position, one that you felt confident enough to play on his game.
“A party, huh?” You showed him a smile before biting your bottom lip and tilting your head to the side, as if you were thinking about his invitation, Heeseung’s eyes catching every movement and your eyes catching his not a bit subtle glances. “I’ll try to fit you in my schedule.”
And you gave him a wink as you stood up to go back to your dorm without waiting for a response, knowing that your sudden courage would not last long to keep it going, not even realizing you left Heeseung in a total speechless form.
Attending a party alone was not something common to your lifestyle at all, same as accepting going on one just because of an acquaintance of yours.
Usually your friends – Yunjin or Sunoo, in particular – would be the ones to tag you along, since you liked to go out but never got that extroverted side to be directly invited; you didn’t even bother to care much, because as said before, your friends were the ones in charge to lead you to the places.
In addition to that, not only would you have a company so you would not feel alone, but also a friend nearby to look after you – though your alcohol tolerance was pretty high, you didn’t trust yourself to make sound decisions sober, let alone drunk.
Later on, Heeseung messaged you saying you could invite the girls and Sunoo, but to your misfortune and as if fate was tricking you, all of them had other plans and left you hanging this time. Yunjin encouraged you to go by yourself, since Jake would probably be there as well as Heeseung, so you gathered all the courage you had left and decided to go.
Nevertheless, Heeseung wasn’t necessarily your friend yet.
You both shared information about each other during the time he hung out with you and your friend group, enough for you to know his degree and some of his life interests like favorite movies, music and the fact he was a chronic gamer.
Whilst you didn’t trust him enough to have your back if needed to, there was something on the way he oftenly treated you that broke down your doubtful barriers with ease, not only by his respectful manners but also by his desirable glances. Heeseung would look at you with a perfect mix of endearment and craving, like he wanted you so bad he would do anything, but never crossing the line, waiting for you to make the first move.
It was reassuring in some type of way, to feel wanted and at the same time, respected. Upon this conclusion, you felt confident enough to cross the opened door and to enter the house, hearing the loud music boosting through the speakers as a bunch of people danced to it, some of them seeming way too drunk already.
The fluttering sensation in your stomach showed you not only the fear of being by yourself, but mostly the obvious, expected acknowledgment you would eventually bump into Heeseung.
Before you could walk your way to the kitchen to get something to drink – a shot of courage, maybe, someone gave you a sudden bear hug and by the drunken voice you noticed it was Jake.
“You came!”
“Yeah!” You answered with the same pitch, hugging him back, relieved that your whole internal dilemma ended quickly. Or you thought so. “You look kinda drunk,” you stated the obvious with a sarcastic tone, sly smile at him when he pulled out of the hug.
Jake literally giggled as a response and wrapped his free arm around your shoulder, dragging you around, his other hand occupied holding his cup.
“Let me introduce you to my friends, you introduced me to yours so it’s only fair if I do the same, right?” You laughed at his very slurred words, as well as how cute he sounded having his cheeks flustered due to the alcohol.
However, when you realized that he was leading you to his friends – and Heeseung was his friend – you almost froze, stumbling a little on your legs while your whole body tensed. You damned Jake for not letting you take your shot of courage before.
“No need to be nervous,” Jake murmured close to your ear, his hands resting now on your waist as he continued to walk with you. The distance wasn’t that far, but Jake kept stopping to greet everyone along the way so it took you both double the time.
“I’m not–”
“You’re doing the face you do when you’re nervous,” he pointed out.
“Am I that easy to read?” You let out an awkward chuckle, feeling shy at how transparent your reactions were.
“Yeah,” he replied, causing you to now genuinely laugh at his sincerity. “You’ll like them. They already like you. Heeseung doesn’t shut up about you, so they're already familiar with who you are.”
What?
You had no time to think about his words or even react properly, a bunch of new friendly smiles greeting you.
“This is Sunghoon and Jay,” Jake indicated with his fingers to the ones sitting on the couch in the corner of the room. “The two over there are Riki and Jungwon,” Jake pointed with the hand that held his cup to the two who were standing and talking with each other, but when their names were mentioned they looked at you with curiosity. “And Heeseung you already know, but I don’t know where he is.”
Part of you felt relieved by Heeseung's absence, while another part was somewhat disappointed.
“Hey, you must be Y/N,” the one you understood as being Jay stood up to greet you with a hug, followed by Sunghoon.
“Enjoying the party so far?” The taller one asked, looking you directly into your eyes. You showed him a gentle smile as you answered.
“I kinda just arrived, so…” Sunghoon nodded, mouthing an ‘oh’ and sitting again on the couch although his gaze kept focused on you. You shook your head when he silently asked if you wanted to sit as well. “But I can say the music is pretty nice. Whoever chose the playlist has a good taste.”
“Thanks.”
You weren’t expecting to feel Heeseung’s presence close, right behind you. His sweet yet low voice making you shiver, a weird feeling tingling your skin.
“I chose the playlist.”
You gulped down your flustered self to turn around and address your attention to him, just to meet his signature flirty expression, this time a little more… softened. He shamelessly checked you out, eyes sparkling in interest as he tried to hold back his smile, disguising it with a small smirk.
His outfit took your breath away, as he wore a black dress shirt that had the first two buttons open and a beautiful silver chain necklace contrasting his slightly tanned skin, every move of his tempting you to see what was underneath the clothing piece.
You saw how Heeseung’s Adam's apple moved up and down before he raised an eyebrow playfully when his eyes landed on your face again.
He paid attention to the way your cheeks turned into a soft shade of red that he was sure wasn't just because of your makeup blush, and damn, how could you look so hot with black skirt and an oversized black shirt? Your legs in full display to him to savor.
“You look pretty,” he complimented you, sincerity and a taste of desire evident in his tone. You smiled shyly, feeling a warm blush rise to your cheeks.
“Oh, thank you. You look great yourself,” you replied, and although you felt flustered for being that close to Heeseung, you didn’t hesitate to maintain eye contact, focusing the most you could not to falter.
Heeseung chuckled, his hands dipped in his pockets as he straightened his posture, quickly averting from your gaze before coming back to look at you again.
So gorgeous, his heart was beating unnecessarily fast just by seeing you and even faster because of your compliment.
“I’m glad to hear that, y’know, I was hoping to make a good impression,” the alcohol in his system made him a bit bolder than he normally was around you, his body leaning subtly closer to yours, his eyes taking the typical glances at your lips.
You huffed a flustered laugh, looking at him through your eyelashes. “You– You don’t have to try that hard, though,” you tried to speak confidently, and you actually did it, biting your lips as a way of restraining yourself from literally jumping on that hot, attractive, charming, man.
The little giggling noises behind your back made you aware that you were not alone with Heeseung to be that fearless, so you took a step back, suddenly feeling hesitant.
“You think so?” Heeseung, on the other hand, didn’t care about his friends, maintaining his flirty aura as he stepped closer to you, a playful grin adorning the corner of his glistening lips. However, he quickly caught the slight discomfort in your posture and decided to give you some space, backing off. “Well, next time I’ll just let my natural charm do the work, then,” he winked at you and casually sat on the couch arm beside Jay and Sunghoon.
You felt a bit out of your place, your wobbly legs not letting you do much and you awkwardly self not knowing exactly what to do. Jake was long gone already, lost in the sea of people while the other boys chatted between themselves. You stood near to the wall next to the other couch arm, engaging in the conversation as they asked you a few things in order to make you feel included. Eventually, Jungwon and Riki joined as well, bringing you a drink, and you got to know all of them better.
Throughout the entire time, Heeseung wasn’t subtle with his glances, eyeing you up and down, taking his sweet time appreciating your bare thighs and your lips whenever you spoke. And even when you caught him staring, he didn’t flinch, full of confidence, biting his lower lip just to wet it with his tongue right after, definitely not paying attention to their friends talking.
So excessively hot.
Heeseung was torn between awe and frustration. Having you so close, yet so out of reach was killing him inside – he wished for you to take the obvious hints he was giving of being so down to kiss you, his body aching in despair.
And he grew even more desperate and frustrated when Jungwon boldly asked you, “Do you wanna go dance with me?”
Heeseung watched the subtle surprise in your expression as your eyes flicked to him briefly, missing the silent plea for him to repeat what Jungwon had just said.
Still, you hesitated for another reason. Normally one of your friends would push you out of your shell to do what you wanted to, but were afraid of. But not only Jungwon's cute smile got into your heart, you also thought to yourself it was time to make your own decisions, even the simple ones like accepting or not a dance.
“Sure,” you agreed, grabbing the hand he offered you, following him to the makeshift dance floor.
Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t drift away from how your body moved with Jungwon’s precise lead, your hips synchronized with the rhythm, your happy smile lip syncing the song together with Jungwon. He watched his friend get closer to you to whisper something in your ear, making you laugh brightly, wishing to be the one to make you feel that way, to touch, to have you like that.
Heeseung was growing jealous of Jungwon’s demeanor around you, having his hands confidently resting on your waist, guiding you through the music with ease, whispering things he wished so badly to know what it was.
He knew he was shameless staring, Sunghoon mocking his reactions as he scoffed and rolled his eyes, annoyed by the sight of another man touching you.
“Why are Jungwon’s hands roaming all over her body like that?” He asked without taking you out of his sight.
“They’re just dancing, relax.” Sunghoon smiled playfully.
“Jungwon is just being nice to her,” Riki pointed out. “They share a few things in common and they both like to dance, so it was just a convenient situation, y’know? Nothing to worry about.” Riki tapped his friend’s shoulder.
“We all know the girl’s yours,” Jay said.
“She’s not mine.”
Yet, Heeseung completed it on his mind, but his friends knew all too well about that too.
On your side of the story, despite the warmth of Jungwon’s company, you couldn’t ignore the weight of Heeseung’s gaze, taking a glimpse once and a while of his so unreadable expression. You couldn’t figure out if it was anger or envy or desire or frustration, Heeseung showed you a mix of everything and, God, you wanted so badly for him to do something.
“Heeseung is looking at me like he’s going to kill me,” Jungwon whispered in your ear, and you laughed nervously.
“I hope he doesn't, you’re too nice and young to die.”
Jungwon chuckled at your response, and then noticed how your body tensed up suddenly. He followed your eyes and you both watched Heeseung’s tall figure standing up and walking towards you two.
“Mind if I cut in?” Heeseung’s voice was smooth, just like him. Your heart started to race too fast when Jungwon handed you to Heeseung.
“She’s all yours,” Jungwon winked, saying a quick goodbye to you and heading back to his friends.
Even with now being just the two of you, Heeseung didn’t touch you without your permission, partly because he was scared of not being able to control himself at all. He blinked a few times waiting for you to take the lead and his breath hitched when your hands went directly to rest on his shoulders.
You gave him a reassuring look, allowing him to touch you, and nearly melted when his fingers found their place on your waist, caressing the place gently as he slowly moved you both to the music. Every so often, your eyes would meet and each time you couldn’t help but blush and smile shyly before quickly looking away, Heeseung thinking how precious you seemed acting like that.
“Don’t get me wrong,” you started saying after the silence of your voices. “I’d love to dance with you a bit more, but I have to be honest, my social battery is pretty drained already,” your lips curved into a small, apologetic pout.
“Do you wanna go home?” He asked softly, bold hands now moving a bit more freely on your body. You shook your head, since going home equaled being away from his embrace. “Do you wanna get out of here?” You nodded cutely and he smiled, endeared by your behavior. “Come with me,” he said and kindly held your hand to lead you away from the party, not before stepping briefly in the kitchen to grab you both a drink.
Heeseung took you to the back of the house, being one of the owner’s he knew all the places where people could and couldn’t be, so a big part of you felt relieved for not having to deal with a crowd overwhelming your senses.
“You look quite tired,” he uttered with a hint of concern, as you both walked slowly through the backyard, way less people scattered through it as you just followed him without thinking much about it, focusing on your drink.
“Yep, I think I overworked my social battery today,” you answered with a chuckle. “But it was pretty fun, though. Your friends are really cool.”
“They are.”
You both stopped walking at some point, Heeseung nodded his head towards the low wall that surrounded the house for you both to sit on it, a very peaceful, quiet place to run away from the party chaos.
“What about you?” You asked curiously, tilting your head to catch his profile before he turned to face you.
“Hm?”
“You don’t seem to be the type to just sit back and watch the party,” you stated, swinging your legs as you finished your drink.
“Yeah? What do you think I should be doing then?” Heeseung raised an eyebrow, intrigued by your perception about him.
“I don’t know,” you shrugged, averting your eyes to anything but him when you said. “Banging with someone?”
“What!?” Heeseung exasperated, as if he was really offended. You laughed out loud with his extremely exaggerated reaction. “Is that what you think of me, Y/N?”
“Well, y’know, it’s kind of hard to think otherwise. Your reputation doesn't help much,” you explained and forced your best innocent look when your eyes rested on him again. You tried so hard not to laugh at his very deeply offended expression.
“I’m so sorry to disappoint you, but I don’t think I’m the person you think I am,” he huffed a laugh, biting his lips right after to glaze his eyes on you. “Don’t even know when was the last time I– Sorry,” he quickly interrupted himself with an embarrassed smile. “I might’ve overshared a bit.”
You shook your head, smiling away your fluster. “You’re fine. But it's still hard to believe.”
“You should ask my friends, then!” He was really trying to defend himself in this one. “Ask Jake!”
“And he’ll tell me what? That you have a long list of women you hooked up with?” You teasingly wigged your eyebrows, nudging him playfully.
“God, no,” he whined and you laughed at his adorable frustration.
You didn’t know it was this fun to tease Heeseung.
“How do I put this… Mhm,” he looked away, suddenly flustered. You were slightly surprised by his demeanor. It was the first time you witnessed Heeseung being something similar to shy. “I like to kiss,” your eyes grew wide and now was your time to be nervous. “So when I go to parties, I might be found kissing someone if I’m really in the mood, but just because I like to kiss, y’know?” He continued, shrugging, trying his best not to sound crazy to you. “And what I’ve noticed is that the people that I kiss, turn a simple makeout into something more when they talk about it, which almost never really happens if I’m being honest,” he paused. “I can count on my fingers how many women I’ve actually taken to my room.”
You swallowed hard, almost audibly gulped, a mix of sensations running throughout your body with his confessions.
“And I also enjoy the flirting, y’know. Their reactions flatters my ego,” this time he was so obviously teasing you after he noticed your embarrassment, finding it adorable how your cheeks got painted red.
You rolled your eyes, pushing his shoulders in annoyance as he laughed. “I’m not joking, though,” he added. “But once I’m committed, I give up on all of that because I can only think about the person I’m liking.”
All that new information sent your brain into overdrive, unnecessarily attractive the way Heeseung’s voice got low at the end, as if he was telling you a secret, a lustful secret, shivers running all over your spine and you having no idea of what to do. You tried hard not to read between the lines. If you did, you would pick up on the message wrongly, because there was no way he was genuinely hitting on you.
“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Heeseung hurried to say, his eyes softening on you.
“No,” you shook your head, chuckling. “I’m just… surprised. Didn’t expect you to be this open,” you admitted, your nervousness waving away from your body, feeling a bit more at ease around him. He still carried his cocky, flirty, charming aura, but now with a taste of honesty you appreciated.
“I just wanted you to know me, instead of what people say about me,” Heeseung confessed with a tender smile. You nodded, glad for his sincerity.
You both fell into a comfortable silence, the muffled noise of the party still going serving as a background. Heeseung was so terribly desperate to touch you again, his hands hesitantly hovering yours, yet never really touching it, as you obliviously looked at the scenery surrounding you, the trees throbbing by the quiet breeze relaxing your senses while you took a few deep breaths.
“Do you wanna go back inside or…?” Heeseung sweet voice eagerly broke the silence, attracting your attention. He was hungry for you, even without tasting you before. His eyes were dripping honey as he watched you consider your options for a bit, pursed lips with a slightly frown.
The peaceful atmosphere embraced you, not only by the cool weather but also Heeseung’s calm, sweet, yet strong presence. You looked through your eyelashes at the adorable bambi eyes that waited anxiously for your answer, blinking slowly. Something has shifted in the air between you two, and surprisingly your body was relaxed with the possible outcome, your heartbeats strong in your chest.
“I’m fine here, actually. What about you? Do you wanna go back?” Your voice sounded way softer than you expected, and just then you realized how close Heeseung’s face was to yours, his alcohol breath mingling with yours mixed with the scent of his cologne, sending you into a trance.
Your eyes naturally wandered through his beautiful facial features, his cute nose, his sparkly eyes, the little mole on his forehead, and of course, the oh, so kissable lips, tempting you so badly. You never had Heeseung that close to you, and he was so fucking breathtaking.
“No,” Heeseung replied under the same tone as yours. You observed how he hesitantly raised his hand near your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, chills running through your body with the light touch.
Heeseung took your reaction of not backing off as a green sign, so he jumped off of his seat to place himself between your legs, your sweet perfume intoxicating him as he looked up at you. Instead of going for a kiss as you expected him to do, he gulped and just hugged you by the waist, his face resting on your chest as you heard him taking a deep, long breath.
Your confused self tried to go with the flow, awkwardly caressing his dark hair, hugging him back. You didn’t understand what he was aiming for, and neither did he, to be honest. He suddenly felt so nervous he forgot how to act, and he realized your presence calmed him down so a hug looked just as right as a kiss.
However, you now were the one growing impatient. “Hee?” You called by his nickname, to which he answered with a muffled “Hm?”, loving the way it sounded in your voice.
“Do you want me to get down so we can kiss?” You audaciously asked, ignoring how hot your cheeks felt right after.
“Please,” he whispered as he parted away from you just to help you to get down, his hand rushing to grab you by the waist while the other cupped your cheek, every touch, every eye contact being so genuinely gentle.
Your fingers traced up from Heeseung’s chest until they reached his nape to scratch the area at the same time you pulled him closer, and closer. His stomach did a flip with how much he was needing you, so it took no time for him to close the distance between you two, lightly shocking his lips on yours.
The first touch was tender, hesitant, as if you both were testing it out. You moved to grab his bottom lip with yours, your breath hitching a little, shivers of anticipation going all over your skin when Heeseung tilted your head to the side so he could deepen the kiss.
Heeseung hummed against your mouth when he finally tasted you, his tongue brushing yours and sending him instantly to heaven; he immediately tangled his fingers on your hair to pull you near, eagerly wanting more and more of you, before sliding the same hand to your waist, pushing your body to lean it on the wall, pressing his own on your’s.
You two shared an intense desire for connection, once fed by days, weeks only by the tension of your imagination, of ‘how it could be’ or ‘happen’. Now that longing no longer occupied just your minds, becoming reality the more your bodies attracted each other with every touch, discovering new places, new pleasures, new cravings.
Heeseung didn’t know he would yearn you even more after getting a taste of you, and God, you were so addicting.
At some point you broke the kiss to catch your breath, Heeseung’s fingers exploring your body with a perfect blend of desire and respect, as if he was still waiting for the moment you would ask for a stop although he couldn’t resist to feel every piece of you. Fortunately for him, you were far from wanting him to halter his movements, his lips on yours making wonders on your system, your body feeling like melting for how amazing it felt to have him that intimately.
Heeseung’s eyes searched for yours, his now darkened gaze made your stomach flutter, your skin tingling from desire. “Tell me to stop,” he whispered on your lips, brushing them slightly. You simply shook your head, capturing his plump-kissed lips again, holding him even closer.
This kiss started urgently, even with Heeseung trying to keep it slow. Your pulse was fast, you needed him more than anything and your whole body was on fire. You could feel Heeseung going through the same, his skin smooth and warm under your hands as you boldly slipped one of them under his loosen shirt to access his back from his neck, mildly scratching the area just to receive a groan as a response.
“Fuck,” he pressed his body flush against yours even more if that was possible, his mouth travelling away from yours to spread hot kisses and small bites all over your jawline and neck.
Naturally your head was thrown back to give him more access to that area, now being your time to moan as an answer. When you paid close attention to every area of yours that was being touched by Heeseung, you noticed his hardened bulge pressing your body and let out a little gasp.
The recognition of you wanting him as much as he yearned you had awakened something inside of Heeseung, making his head lose control and focus on only one thing: you.
Heeseung was craving you like an animal.
And his way of showing that was slowing down his kisses, his hands audaciously squeezing your ass, sliding through your body with a mastery it took your breath away. Hesseung was a fucking good kisser, working his tongue on yours just the right enough to make your legs wobbly.
But then you became too aware of everything that was happening and your mind activated all the insecurity thoughts you once had for knowing that the makeout session would never just end there.
When Heeseung tried to kiss you again, you used your hands to lightly push him away and avoided his lips, both of you panting.
“Did I do something wrong?” He asked you with confused, puppy eyes. Your heart shattered instantly.
“No, you’d never,” you kindly caressed his face. “I’m just– I…” You opened and closed your mouth, trying to find words that would not make you sound too off or that would make Heeseung slip away from you, but none seemed right.
“Y/N, it’s fine, yeah?” He caressed your hips and then your right cheek, pecking your lips sweetly with a gentle smile. His dick in his pants painfully reminded him of how much he was in need of your body, nonetheless he would never force you to do anything, and just the kisses you shared was enough to make his whole year worth. With that in mind, he kissed your left cheek before saying, “Let me take you home, how does that sound?”
You smiled, even with the urge of crying knocking on your door so closely, the bittersweet taste replacing Heeseung’s in your mouth as you gulped it down your throat, damning yourself for being such an overthinked, insecure person that was too afraid of going all the way for God’s knows why.
“Sounds great, Hee.”
As your usual response after any encounter involving men and the possibility of intimacy, you tried desperately to escape from meeting Heeseung. You would die to kiss him again, and again, and again… But at the same time, Heeseung wasn’t the type of guy who would stop at just kissing and you got a bit of the taste of that – your whole body was on fire just remembering his firm length pressing against your body, the little sounds he let out through the kiss, his hands pulling you closer and closer… And then you freaked out. As always.
Little did you know that Heeseung grew so obsessed with you and your intimate touch that night, that the mere thought of kissing you again consumed his mind just as much as you already captivated every corner of his head before.
The ghost of your lips lingered on his, haunted Heeseung’s memory, making him crave even more of whatever you would be willing to give to him, he would take anything at this point.
Heeseung noticed you vanished from your obvious encounters, not only by missing the basketball game’s practice, but weirdly not hanging out with your own friends. The possibility of you avoiding him made his heart pound in a mild, strange pain, as he didn’t know the reason behind and simply deduced he did something wrong, like crossed your boundaries or anything similar. He couldn’t live with himself if that was the case and in order to correct that, he needed to see you and properly apologize.
“Do you think I’ve fucked up?” Heeseung was now in Jay's room to vent out his concerns about you, pacing back and forth. Jay was still half-asleep, barely knowing his own name let alone able to deal with Heeseung’s situation.
Fortunately for Heeseung, one of the perks of having a long-time friend is that the said friend would be open to hear you whenever and for whatever reason.
“What do you mean?” Jay’s voice sounded groggy as he squinted his eyes to face the bright light coming through the window before searching for Heeseung in his room.
“She’s been ignoring me, like literally ignoring my texts and avoiding me,” Heeseung explained, fingers messing his hair nervously.
Jay let out a deep sigh with a yawn while he sat straight on his bed, running his hand on his hair to try to make it as presentable as possible. “Have you thought about the possibility that she’s, I don’t know, going through something?”
“And how do I fix this?” Heeseung looked at his friend with a hint of desperation.
“You have to let her deal with her stuff first, Hee.” Jay tried to sound as much as compassionate as he could, watching Heeseung taking the seat beside him on the bed. Jay patted his back. “I don’t think it’s up to you, at all.”
“I know, it’s just frustrating. I want her so bad, bro,” Heeseung rested his elbows on his legs and buried his face in his hands.
“Yeah, never seen you so down for a girl like that,” Jay huffed a little chuckle, amazed by his friend’s behavior.
“How can I not be? She’s so pretty, and we have such a good connection, and, God, her lips taste like honey. Like, her touches are so ligh–”
“Ok, enough,” Jay rushed to cut off Heeseung’s possible one hour speech about you, and now that you both shared an intimate moment, Jay was one hundred sure he didn’t need to hear such vivid details about it that early in the morning. “Let her do her thing, I’m sure she’ll eventually reach for you, bro.”
“I hope so.”
You weren’t too different from Heeseung though, feeling completely frustrated and in anguish.
You got your panties dampened in arousal just by having Heeseung touching and feeling you the way he did, and he would not leave your thoughts alone for no second during your days, making it difficult to go through your classes and to focus on your studies without your foots nervously tapping the floor while biting and licking your lips due to your imagination flying by uncountable scenarios.
All of them with the same outcome: you panicking and leaving him hanging.
“Spill it out,” Sunoo surprised you by hugging you from behind while you waited in the line to order you a coffee.
“God Damn it, Sunoo!” You slapped his arm, hearing him laughing at you. “Why do you always do this?” Your question sounded like a whine. He poked your sides before letting you go from the hug.
“It’s funny how reactive you always are,” he teased with a smirk. “Order one for me, babe. I’ll pick us a table,” Sunoo said simply, as he started to move away from you.
“But–”
“No but’s!” He called out already far from you. “I can see your frown from a mile away and I’ve known you long enough to know you’re doing what you like to do the most.”
Your flabbergasted expression was the only thing Sunoo saw before heading to a table on the corner of the store waiting for you to pick the both of you a coffee and head to share the seat with him.
“I kissed him.” You blurted out as soon as you sat, eyes expressing a mix of despair and excitement. Sunoo opened his mouth in a perfect ‘oh’ that silently asked you to explain it better. “So I went to that party,” Sunoo nodded for you to keep going. “And I was dancing with one of his friends, and then he stepped in and we danced together. You know I don’t usually socialize alone that much, so I was feeling drained already,” Sunoo eyes were sparkling in interest, he loved a good little love story. “Heeseung led me to the backyard, and we chatted for a bit, he made sure that I knew his reputation was all talk,” you chuckled, remembering how anxious he looked trying to explain himself. “And now that I know this, it makes total sense. I never really saw him doing anything too explicit in public, so…”
“Ok, babe. I got that part,” Sunoo rushed you. Normally he would listen to every single word you were saying in order to fully help you, but he was so invested in getting to the point he couldn’t help his impatience.
You rolled your eyes playfully. “Well, we had a little moment y’know and then we kissed, very cute and all that jazz. Until the things… shifted a bit,” your cheeks blushed.
“Oh?” Sunoo's eyes grew wide just like his smile. “Did you..?”
“No! I didn’t,” you pouted. “That's the thing. I freaked out. As I always do. And now I’m even more desperate than before, because I got to taste what he can offer me and I want more, but I’m so, so, so afraid,” you whined, almost crying as the words came out of your mouth without you caring if it made sense or not.
Sunoo sighed, his orbs now filled with reassurance as he held both of your hands. “Did he force you to do anything?” You shook your head. “He stopped when you asked him to?” You nodded. “Then I don’t think you have to be scared of anything, Y/N,” you were about to interrupt him, but he kept talking. “Listen, if Heeseung it’s into you the way it looks, he’ll respect your boundaries and wait for your consentment. And if he tries something funny, y’know I’ve got your back. I can punch really hard if I need to.”
You chuckled at his wording, knowing that was actually the truth. You were blessed to have someone like Sunoo in your life. “Thank you, Sunny,” you said sincerely. “I’m very grateful for having you.”
“No need to thank me, sweetie,” he kissed the back of your hand, before clapping his and saying excitedly. “Now let’s work on a plan of how you can relax and finally get that dick.”
“Sunoo!” You exclaimed, exasperated, and your friend's loud laugh was the only response you got.
“See you tomorrow, captain.”
You leaned your back against the wall near the door, watching a group of guys walk out of the locker room, some of them narrowing their eyes at you to which you pretended not to see, fakely paying attention to your phone, hoping none of them would stop to talk to you. You had one person in mind only.
“Oh? What are you doing here?”
And it was definitely not Jake.
“Oh, hey,” you smiled awkwardly, pushing your body away from the wall to face Jake. Your eyes darted over his shoulder, scanning if someone was coming after him just before you turned away from the door. “I’m wai–”
“Y/N?”
Your blood ran cold at the sound of your name being called by the voice you only heard in your dreams for the past few days. You tried to swallow down your tension and your shivers, barely registering Jake stepping away from you two to give the space you both needed.
Your body slowly turned to face Heeseung. His hair was wet, and he had a flustered, tired face from the game, a backpack hanging loose from his shoulder, and a small towel on his hands that he was using to dry off the water from his recent shower. His cherry-red lips were slightly parted, and his heavy breathing made your stomach and heart fluttered.
What a fucking vision, you almost whispered.
He had a blend of surprise, happiness and worry in his expression, which softened right after you showed him a small smile, your voice sounding as sweet as honey. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he mimicked your kind tone, his lips curving into a smile as well. He observed your adorable reddened cheeks and your big doe eyes staring at him, filled with expectation. “How are you?” He tried to sound casual, but his voice came out so obviously holding back his desperation. His heart was racing fast, a genuine wave of joy and relief running through his body. You had no right to show up looking so damn cute and expect him to act normal, as if he wasn’t missing you like crazy.
“I’m good,” you replied softly.
Heeseung nodded, never breaking eye contact. You tried hard to figure out what was left unspoken through his intense, yet tender gaze; your skin aching, yearning for his warm touch just one more time, just like that night, just as a reminder of how good it felt, just so you could bring to reality everything that went through your thoughts since the last kiss.
You really wished Heeseung were feeling the same way, or at least something close to it, otherwise you weren’t sure if you could deal with rejection after you struggled to gather all your courage to encounter him.
The tension in the air was suffocating you a bit, the endless silence was killing you inside, nevertheless you couldn’t find the right words to start anything coherent. Gladly Heeseung perceived your body reacting to the strange atmosphere between you two, and the last thing he wanted was for you to feel uncomfortable or to make things weird in your little relationship.
So he took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours as he bit his bottom lip. “I’ve missed you,” he confessed without realizing he just did, voice quiet, almost like a whisper. You watched his eyes growing subtly wide before you drifted away from them.
Your heart skipped a beat, your cheeks heating up and your hands trembling with the unexpected confession. “I’ve missed you too, Hee.” You admitted looking at the floor, unable to keep looking at the eyes that showed you too much affection right now.
The desire once never forgotten grew stronger inside Heeseung’s chest, he needed you more than anything. His hand reached out for yours, the light brush of your skins sending chills through your spine and taking your breath away. “Can we talk?” He asked softly, relief running on his body when you held his hand back.
“Yeah, we can,” you nodded, now looking up, not containing your smile as soon as you met his face all lightened up.
“Okay,” he left out a little chuckled, too happy for his own good. “But not here.”
Heeseung and you walked out of the building together, his hands’ grip tight on yours as you simply followed his lead. Your brain was spinning inside your head with the amount of thoughts going on. You didn’t know what to expect the conversation to be, let alone what he would do with you – or what you would do with him. The anticipation was eating you alive, and you thanked God when he stopped in the private area of the campus’ parking lot, guiding you to stand in front of him while he leaned his back on the wall.
“I was not joking when I said I’ve missed you,” he started, now holding both of your hands. You took a step closer, so you could show that you weren’t lying either. “I have to ask, though. Did I–”
You interrupted before he could even start the question, because from the little you knew about Heeseung, he was going to blame himself. “I’m sorry for my reaction that night. I– I think I was a bit overwhelmed,” you explained, focusing the drawings on his shirt to avert his eyes. “I really enjoyed kissing you, God, you have no idea,” you said with a soft laugh. “But I freaked out,” you gulped. “I freaked out because I’ve never–” Your cheeks were burning like fire due to your embarrassment, your words stuck on your throat. Heeseung gently squeezed your hands in a reassuring way, leaning a bit forward to search for your eyes. You finally looked up at him.
“I’ve– I’ve never gone further kissing someone,” your voice came out as an unsteady, low whisper, while you quickly avoided Heeseung’s gaze again.
But he made sure you would be looking right at his eyes when he said his next words, tilting your chin up with his finger. “I’m sorry if I put any pressure on you, angel,” and he was so, so tender to you. His hand left yours to caress your face with a softness that almost made you melt, automatically leaning into the touch. The new nickname sent a flutter through your stomach.
“No,” you hurried to say, shaking your head. “You didn’t. It’s just… Me. Me being an insecure mess, I guess,” you laughed awkwardly.
“Hey, you’re not a mess,” he now held your face between his large hands, forcing you to maintain eye contact. “I loved kissing you, baby. Would love to do more than that,” he smirked, not only showing his desire, but also his understanding. His words and his actions worked in a perfect sync to make your body instantly react, the pulsing sensation between your legs showing how much you were affected by him. “But I would never force you to do anything.” He released your face, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear before his hands rested on your waist in a comforting manner. “Would it help if we talked through your insecurities?”
Heeseung was an angel, you realized. A perfect blend of a compassionate angel and a devil who fed your deepest fantasies. You blinked twice to process his offer, not once in your life imagining you would meet someone willing to hear you so openly. “Are you sure?” You asked, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulders.
His lips curved into a mischievous, shameless smirk. The so known cocky, flirty aura making its appearance just to falter right away, as if he remembered it wasn’t the moment to act like that. You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head to the side when he vacillated to speak.
“Now you have to say exactly what you’re thinking.” You said firmly.
“I don’t think I sho–”
“Lee Heeseung,” your voice was serious and he sighed defeated.
“Okay, okay,” he locked his eyes on yours, a hint of playfulness and craving mixed, causing your heartbeat to increase. “Yes, I’m sure I wanna hear what you’re insecure about, Y/N,” he leaned in closer, just to murmur. “I have to know what I’ll be fucking out of you.”
Your eyes grew wide with his sincerity. Yes, you did ask, but fuck, how does one say something so casually? Your whole face was burning with fluster, your flabbergasted expression was clear as crystal water, your brain stopped working properly and you had no fucking idea of what to say or do.
“I’m sorr–”
But for some reason, shutting Heeseung up with a kiss sounded right.
Your lips shocked against his with a passion you never felt before. Heeseung’s words, the way he touched you, how his body reacted at the simple act of kissing you and having your hands discovering places on his body – everything made you feel secure and desired, the right mix to make it work on you. Heeseung made his way through your shell, placing himself right before your insecurities and little by little, without doing much, he was helping you get over them.
Heeseung shamelessly moaned against your mouth when you bit his bottom lip, sucking it before coming back with your tongue hungrily searching for his’, your heavy breaths mingling while you both devoured the kiss with vigor.
You parted away to speak, your voice sounding low and too sensual for Heeseung’s health. “I hope you’re loyal to your words, Heeseung.”
He took in your now darkened, full of lust, eyes and your swollen, glistened lips due to the urgent kiss you just shared. The view alone made him go insane. “Oh, I am,” he murmured, voice deep and husky, his cocky grin making him look even hotter. He gripped your waist tightly and maneuvered your both so he could press you against the wall, placing his lips on your ear to spread a few kisses before saying, “I’m a man of my word, Y/N. And I’m gonna make sure you never doubt yourself ever again.”
You let out a small gasp and then a little whine, your lips parting and your eyes hooded as you relaxed your body, ignoring your mind screaming at you to run away, replacing the anxiety with the craving you cherished for God’s know how long.
“I want to hear every single thought that is holding you back, and then, I’m gonna make you forget about all of them,” Heeseung’s breath was hot against your skin, just like his lips, biting, sucking, kissing every area he had at his disposal.
“Is that a promise?” You decided to play with him on his game, knowing you had no chance against the player anyway. Nonetheless, the foreign feeling growing inside you made words come out of your mouth without you really thinking about them, and it was so fucking good.
“Yes, angel. It is a promise,” Heeseung halted his intense diving into your neck to look deep into your eyes. “But I can’t take your virginity here, in a public parking lot.”
Normally you would fumble into a chain of embarrassment and nervousness with your intimacy being said that openly. However, Heeseung managed to word it in a totally different way. His voice was low, sultry, filled with a raw desire that made you realize he still wanted you, even after you admitted inexperience. Heeseung ignited a fire in you.
And then you remembered. You lived in a dorm. “Don’t get me wrong,” your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling it back a little. “But I can’t take you to mine.”
His forehead rested on yours while he chuckled, a bit disappointed. But not on you. “Yeah… I can’t take you to mine, as well. Not today, though.”
“So…” You blinked innocently, not knowing exactly what to say or do.
“We’re not finished yet, angel.”
Unfortunately for you, you realized that what made you so confident and down to go all the way with Heeseung was the fact he was with you, his smooth foreplay skillfully easing your body to relax and enjoy instead of overthinking.
His kisses helped you to forget your concerns and his hands guided you in a way you didn’t have to worry about what to do, not to mention the fact that he was willing to have sex with you even after you shared your insecurities with him.
When you two recognized that it wasn’t going to happen that day, the heat went down and you two decided to sit in Heeseung's car to share some more kisses while chatting. Heeseung always reassuring you through his caring – and hot – touches, listening to every word of yours with compassion dripping out of his eyes, understanding and explaining openly to you about what you were curious about.
You didn’t really open up about everything as you usually do with a friend like Sunoo, partly because you believed it would work as a huge turn off and Heeseung would leave you. But also because you recognized that a lot of your thoughts were beyond your control, like the shape or size of your breasts and other similar things.
Heeseung made sure you understood that besides anything, he would find you sexy no matter what, which made you blush and hide your face on his chest while he laughed at your reaction, but it also made you believe his words and feel more confident about sex.
Nevertheless, through a whole week, a bunch of “do you wanna come over?” texts were dismissed with a lame excuse from you. As said before, his kisses made you ease your mind, and answering such an important question like that without having his mouth working on yours to make you forget about your messy mind, was damn difficult.
What you didn’t know is that Heeseung wasn’t actually planning to have sex with you the times he invited you. He literally just wanted to hang out. Of course he aimed to kiss you eventually, however his main objective was to make you comfortable with him being around, touching you in places you never got to be touched before, making sure you knew how much he craved your body, how much he wanted you, and that you were safe.
It was a busy week, afterall, full of heavy practices because the final game was getting closer and your presence on the bleachers was one thing that didn’t stop happening this time. You avoided being alone with Heeseung as much as you could, but your lips always missed him, so you had to make the tremendous effort of watching him in every practice.
“He’s so good,” Julie whispered close to your ear, startling you.
“Who?” You asked confused.
“Your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you rushed to reply with your cheeks already gaining some color.
“Cut that off, he’s head over heels for you, girl,” Yunjin pointed out on your other side. “It’s almost annoying.”
“Yeah, and you always have this weird look in your eyes whenever you see him,” Julie nudged you with her shoulder. “Like you’re always wanting him so bad,” she said with a forced sensual voice. “I bet the sex is amazing.”
“I don’t think you should be talking about Y/N’s sexual lif–” Sunoo tried to interrupt the subject, noticing your discomfort for being smashed between two – sometimes – very indecent girls.
“No, but like. She never talks about it. I’m so curious,” Julie whined. “They say the quiet ones are the worst.”
The whistle indicating the last quarter of the practice was over and you jumped out of your seat, running down the stairs to meet Heeseung, not only to be with him but mostly to avoid Julie and Yunjin's inconvenient questions. You didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell them about anything sex related, since they both were very sexually active and their actions seemed a bit off whenever you became the topic of the conversation.
“What’s with the hurry, baby?” Heeseung smiled big while hugging you when you jumped on his arms, caring little to nothing about his sweat sticking to your skin.
“Missed you,” you said muffled against his neck, your heart beating fast while you felt him moving you to walk on your back, still clinging onto him.
He stopped walking at some point and you let go of him. “I gotta take a shower. I’m getting you all dirty, angel,” your cheeks burned with how you interpreted his words, widened eyes as you looked at him. Heeseung noticed it. “Hey, you dirty minded girl, I’m talking about my sweat on you,” he sneaked his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him to walk with you towards the locker room.
“I don’t think your explanation makes it less worse.”
He laughed out loud, throwing his head back with your audacious phrase and typically you would find it endearing how he looked so handsome smiling big. This time you paid more attention to his neck and how his Adam’s apple seemed more attractive than ever. His sweat dripping out of his honeyed skin was doing no good to you as well, messing with your head, filling it with horny thoughts.
When you arrived, you patiently waited for Heeseung outside the locker room, greeting a few team’s members you’ve come to know, since it’s become a routine for you to be around.
You were playing on your phone when he left the room, glancing at you with a pretty smile and offering you his hand.
You two walked your way to the parking lot, a common everyday thing you started doing after the days he had practice. Oftenly you would be in his car for a few minutes, sharing caresses and sweet talks, before he drove you to your dorm.
“Will you watch me tomorrow?” He asked with sparkly, expectant eyes, swinging your arms.
“Of course I will, Hee,” you looked at his side profile. “Don’t forget, I’m the team’s lucky charm,” you winked playfully at him, remembering one of your firsts dialogues alone with him.
“Yeah,” he stopped walking to pull you closer by the waist, his voice softened. “And I don’t know what to do without you,” his eyes glazed on yours for a while, dripping affection. It took just a second for his lips to find its home on yours, kissing you slow and sweet, enjoying every bit of your addicting taste.
He parted with a little smack sound, pecking your lips a few times. Your breath hitched with his tender touch. He held your hand again so you could keep walking.
“The coach was afraid of me dating you, he said you could be a distraction to me and bla-bla-bla,” he huffed a laugh, you, on the other hand, froze. Dating? “Little did he know you’re the main reason I have a good performance. I need to impress my girl.”
You had a very shocking expression on your face when Heeseung looked at you to see why you went quietly suddenly. You stopped on your tracks and turned to him, lips parted as you blinked without saying a thing.
“What?” Heeseung cocked his head, his bambi, confused eyes shined, trying to read you.
“We’re dating?”
“Oh,” he scratched the back of his head nervously. “I never asked yo–”
“You never asked me–” You both said at the same time and stopped, also at the same time.
Heeseung cleared his throat and with a deep breath he rested his eyes on yours, automatically smiling. “Well, if you’re okay with it, I’d love to call what we have dating.” He said adorably with his hand squeezing yours, “I just assumed we were on the same page, but I’m okay if you don’t want to define it or wanna talk about it more. I’m always all ears for you, Y/N.” He leaned in slightly, his eyes never leaving your. “I mean, I just wanna be with you, and if you are fine with me calling you my girlfriend, then I’d be more than happy to call you that.”
All his words sounded like babbling to you, because that moment, in the middle of the parking lot, you heart skipped a beat as you realized you were so fucking in love with Lee Heeseung.
You were sure you had heart eyes while staring at his anticipating expression, and you couldn’t care less. You pushed yourself forward so you could kiss him passionately, his hands coming to hold you by your jawline, moving so slowly, so lovingly, so sincerely.
It was a different kiss, it was a love kiss, a confessional kiss, a kiss you only were able to have because of its genuine intentions.
“I’d love to call you my boyfriend, Hee,” you whispered against his mouth, smiling brightly as he shared the same expression, the same emotion.
As intense as a final game normally is, you couldn’t help but tap your feet on the ground, to the point of you standing up to pace back and forth. The rival university was ten points ahead in the fourth quarter and the minutes were ticking down.
You could see Heeseung's tensed body from afar, the seat you had helping nothing with the view of the game – you took advantage of being the captain's girlfriend to ask to watch the game from up close. But it was your worst decision so far, because you barely saw anything.
The tension was palpable in the air, your breath caught in your throat at every pass. Your university team managed to close the gap at some point, and when you looked at the clock, the 10 seconds countdown was shining.
Your heart dropped when you saw Heeseung’s bold move of stealing the ball from one of the opposing team member, the crowd yelling as he sprinted down the court, for a fraction of seconds you catched his glance at you, before he focused fully in dribbling whoever entered his way, and then he launched himself into the air, his perfect form aiming directly for the three point line.
Everything became slow motion as you watched the ball going straight through the hoop, the whole gym exploding with loud cheers as you yourself jumped and hugged whoever were near you with a big smile.
The whole team crowded Heeseung to celebrate, everyone of them shining big smiles but you paid attention to only one. And the said one was searching for you in the sidelines. He broke free from them to jog to you, who also was running in his direction. You jumped on his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and he swirled you while screaming excitedly. “We did it!”
“You did it, Hee. I knew you could do it.” You answered as happily as him, laughing with joy and tightening the hug.
Heeseung softly landed you on the ground, his eyes gleaming with his victory. He cupped your face with his large hands, pulling you into an eagerly sweet kiss, no trophy topping the feeling of having you like that.
The cheers grew louder as everyone watched the romantic scene, however nothing seemed real around you two, lost in the bubble you’ve created. “I did it for you, angel,” he murmured against your lips, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I told you before. I have to impress my girl,” and then he kissed you again, your smiles you shared mingling between breaths and small pecks, before he hugged you tightly one more time.
The celebration went for a while. From afar, you observed Heeseung being surrounded by his friends and teammates, getting praised for his skills and how well he did that match.
You watched from afar how bright and full of joy Heeseung was, his whole face glowing, surrounded by his friends and teammates, celebrating the win, getting showered with praise by everyone. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and you couldn’t help but remember all the times he got flustered by your compliments, his shy smile in contrast with his darkened eyes, as if your words woke something inside him. You made a mental note to take a little advantage of that later on.
“The guys left the house for me tonight,” Heeseung murmured as he finally approached you already outside the building, placing his hands on your waist while yours naturally settled on his shoulders. His voice dropped to a tone only you knew the meaning of.
Instantly, your heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?” Your voice came out low.
You took in every detail of his beautiful face, his demeanor now softened since a big part of the adrenaline had left his body by now. Despite that, his eyes still sparkled with adoration and a hint of desire. Heeseung licked his lips, sucking his lower one while shifting his gaze between your mouth and your adorable, innocent, yet lustful eyes.
“Yeah,” he mildly nodded, leaning in closer, but he unfortunately got interrupted by a voice you recognized immediately. Your eyes grew wide.
“Look at you two!” Julie squealed with a smile, clapping excitedly. “You did amazing, Heeseung.” She complimented your boyfriend giving two thumbs up, and you tried to hide your embarrassment by tilting your head towards Heeseung’s chest, who hugged you sideways.
Yunjin, who was with Julie, nodded in agreement, also smiling. “Yeah, that last point was incredible,” she added, giving your shoulder a teasing nudge to whisper closer to you. “I bet you’re dying to get out of here, huh?”
“Thank you,” Heeseung said with a smile, while you gave an awkward grin in response to Yunjin.
“We’ll leave you two alone,” Julie said with a wink. “Looks like someone’s eager for some private time.” With a final ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck,’ Julie and Yunjin left, leaving you with an astonished, shy expression, and Heeseung with a contained mischievous grin.
“I’m sorry about them,” you whispered, watching them go before searching for Heeseung’s eyes just to see them already glancing playfully at you.
“Are they lying, though?” Heeseung asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.
You smacked his chest, unable to give a proper response as you buried your face on his neck, muffling a quiet “Stop,” while he hugged you and let it out a precious laugh.
“But… Can I take you to my place today?” His question sounded a bit hesitant, still sweet as honey, while his fingers gently caressed your back. “We don’t have to do anything, I just wanna be with you,” he explained with kind eyes after you released yourself from his embrace to face him.
You nodded, “You can,” and offered him a small, genuine smile, making him lose control with your beauty and cuteness and kiss you before heading to his car with you.
The drive was calm, nonetheless your body was pretty tense on the car seat. Your brain was spinning with that night’s outcome. While you had an intense desire to finally have Heeseung the way you dreamed of, you couldn’t help but feel anxious about it too.
You craved his body, his touches, his lips, overall, him. And he had demonstrated to be a good guy so far. Heeseung respected your boundaries, always making sure you felt comfortable even with the minimal invasive touches, like when he tried to touch under your skirt one day and you startled in response. He murmured a billion “I’m sorry’s” after the episode, and that alone had your heart fluttering in passion, allowing him to slide his bold touches wherever he wanted to, but never further enough to have you fully.
You gulped down your nervousness, looking at Heeseung’s side profile illuminated by the night lights – his honeyed skin was glowing, his black hair messy with sweat, some strands of hair sticking on his exposed forehead, his perfect nose and kissable lips, everything made you dive into your dirtiest thoughts.
You only noticed you arrived at his house when he broke the silence by announcing it, opening the door for you and grabbing your hands instantly as he led you inside the house all the way to his room.
“Imma take a quick shower, okay?” You nodded. “Make yourself comfortable. Don’t be shy.” He pecked your lips before heading to his bathroom.
You sat on the edge of his bed, analyzing how simple his room seemed to be – just the right amount of things he needed to have, like a wardrobe, a big bed and his gamer computer setup. Being in one’s room, for you, always felt like an act of intimacy itself.
You were in the same place he changed clothes, he listened to his favorite music, he played his favorite games, he studied… And the same place he touched himself, he had sex with other persons, he had wet dreams…
“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself, fidgeting your fingers even faster. Your panties got slightly dampened and your body overheated just by thinking of how close you were to Heeseung right now, although you didn’t even had him in your sight.
The sound of the shower turning off indicating he was done showering had your stomach fluttering because he was about to come out of the bathroom, and not a single soul in the earth had you prepared to face his upper body all in display to you – his toned chest were a bit red because of the hot water, being accentuated by a subtle abs, his arms muscles contracting as he dried off his hair.
Heeseung’s boxers peeked through the hem of his sweatshorts, and you swore to God you saw a single droplet of water running all the way down in his beautiful, hot, tanned skin, stopping on his V-line.
“Are you hungry?” Heeseung’s voice broke you out of your trance, finally making you stare at his face instead of his body. He didn’t deny that your voracious eyes eating him alive send signals directly to his dick, making it twitch inside his clothes. He watched you blink two, three, four times with an unreadable expression, making him frown. “Y/N?”
“Y–yeah?” You snapped out of your imagination of kissing, licking, sucking every part of his body, feeling his skin through your lips. Your mouth watered, but not because of hunger for food.
“Do you wanna order a delivery or something?” Heeseung cocked his head, shamelessly checking you out as well. If you had the right to devour him with your intense gaze, he had it too, undressing you with his eyes while biting his bottom lip.
Your skirt was placed gently on your thighs, your tight crop top evidenced your breast and a little part of your belly was being shown, all too tempting to him, eager to see more of your body.
You swallowed hard, trying to concentrate on anything but your desire of having Heeseung fucking you, failling disastrously. “Um, sure. Sounds good,” you managed to say, your voice clearly trembling as your breath got stuck on your airways.
You had to contain a whimper when Heeseung took a step closer, his towel now hanging in his shoulders as he towered you, lifting your head with two fingers holding your chin. “What do you wanna eat, angel?” He questioned, and he was definitely not talking about food anymore at this point.
You felt the heat increase in your stomach, your body shivering with his light, warm touch, acting like it was in withdrawal of whatever he could give you. And you wished so hard for him to offer you everything.
“I– I don’t know,” you murmured, blinking slowly, parted lips letting out your hitched breath. “What’s your suggestion?” You forced yourself to take a glance at his look, gasping slightly with how he had shifted to an almost breathtaking lascivious one, slightly hooded, serious and attractive just the right amount to make you squirm uncomfortably in your seat.
“I’m afraid my suggestion does not involve food, my love.” Heeseung’s voice dropped a few tones as he bended forward to lean closer, inches away from you, his warm air brushing against your face, his gaze savoring every single one of your reactions.
“What–” You bit your lip. “What does it involve, then?” You asked under breath, a burn sensation taking place on your cheeks as Heeseung’s grin grew. Your pulse increased in the silent, yet full of unspoken desires, room.
“Well,” he murmured, eyes almost closing as he got closer and closer, lips now touching lightly yours, as he said “I might have to show you. Would you let me?”
Your answer came through actions, your hands quickly took place on his neck and pulled him down to you, tossing the towel to the floor while your mouth chased for his’, desperate for a kiss. It took Heeseung just seconds to react to your intensity, kindly pushing you to lay down on the bed as you tried to keep your lips occupied while moving upwards in a comfortable position; Heeseung crawling on the mattress, never daring to break out the touch.
His fingers dug into your waist while his other arm supported his weight, grinding slowly against your body, pressing his hardened cock on your clothed cunt in order to get any friction he could. A moan escaped your lips, muffled by the kiss, as the heat between your bodies intensified, the thought of causing that reaction in Heeseung making you feel even hotter, more impatient, more desperate for anything he was giving you.
His mouth was working wonders – hot, skilled, passionate as he sucked your tongue, his little groans getting lost in the middle of the kiss. At the same time your fingers brushed his naked chest, his hands infiltrated under your shirt, and your body instantly reacted to the feel of his warm and smooth skin on yours.
Though Heeseung had waited for what felt like ages to have you underneath him like that, he was aware of your insecurities and the fact that it was your first time. Despite how your body responded to his touch, he knew that taking it slow was the right choice, so he made sure you felt safe and cherished as he savored every second.
Heeseung unhurried his movements, gently parting the kiss to catch his breath and taking the opportunity to enjoy the view – your parted, glistened and swollen-kissed lips, your hooded eyes, hiding your lust behind them, but showing him adoration. He smiled, placing a sweet, tender kiss on your jawline, downing to your neck and collarbone, getting drunk on your scent with his lips trailing kind and lascivious touches on your skin.
You grabbed his hair with your hands, pulling Heeseung even closer to your body – as if it was possible – in a way of distracting the anxiety building up on your core. But then you pushed him away, and he showed you a confused gaze.
You smiled shyly and moved your hands so you could undress yourself from your shirt and toss it onto the floor, revealing part of your gorgeous body to his eyes, your breasts placed in your black bra attracting his attention.
“You’re beautiful,” Heeseung whispered, filled with sincerity and care, looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, the most cherished treasure he ever had, with the perfect mix of desire, eyes dripping the need of having more of you.
His touches were light as he traced his fingers from your waist all the way to your clothed boobs, his eyes never leaving yours, taking in every little reaction, every little sound. He paused to ask tenderly. “Can I take these off?” And when you nodded and helped him to remove your bra, he smiled, not holding back his delighted sigh at the sight of your pretty and hardened nipples.
You felt exposed and your cheeks flushed with a dark ton of red, you had nowhere to hide so you just let Heeseung adore you, until his mouth placed kisses near your breasts, giving you time to assimilate that new experience.
You couldn’t hold back an audible gasp when his lips brushed your sensitive bud, his hot tongue swirling it to suck right after, not too intense, not too light, just the right amount, as if he knew exactly what to do with your body to make you go insane.
“Hee–” you moaned his name when drifted to give the proper attention to your other boob while his hand massaging the already a bit swollen one.
The sound of your voice whining Heeseung’s name sent a wave of electricity all over his body, directly to his neglected dick. While he kept going down with his mouth through your belly until he reached the hem of your skirt, he humped slightly on whatever could give him some friction on his sensitive bulge.
He halted his movements when he achieved your inner thighs to look at you with reassuring eyes and a soft smile. “Tell me to stop if you want me to,” his lips kissed the area and you tensened your legs, not used to being touched in there. However, if it felt too good and in no world you wanted Heeseung to stop.
“I trust you, Hee.”
And Heeseung couldn’t ask for a better way of you saying what he needed to hear. He kept placing hot kisses on your thighs and you bent your knee, the position giving him the full view of your ruined panties, a pool of arousal making it stick to your cunt, the drawing of your folds making its personal show right in front of his eyes.
Heeseung’s mouth watered. He remembered every time he imagined being buried between your legs and, God, he didn’t know if he would be able to hold himself down on this one.
“Would you be okay if I–” He gulped, searching for your eyes, which were already glancing at his drunk-looking figure with curiosity. You never saw that expression on Heeseung’s face, and for some reason it made your clit pulse, clenching around nothing. “If I eat you out? You can say no if you don’t feel comfortable doing it on your first time, but I would appreciat–”
“I meant it when I said I trust you.”
You cut off his ramble for two reasons: one, because you weren’t prepared to hear his speech that would pretty much make you feel even more embarrassed; two, you were desperate for some relieve, your body literally aching in desire to feel your release, and if his hot mouth and tongue felt that good on your skin, you shivered just by the thought of having them on your sensitive area.
“Thank you,” Heeseung sounded really relieved that you accepted his request. “I’ll remove your skirt, is that okay?” He asked softly and you nodded, hands gripping on the sheets without knowing much more what to do.
Heeseung tossed your clothing piece on the floor, and when he was about to prepare himself to dive into your pussy, you grabbed his hair. He instantly stopped what he was doing, his heart did a flip with the thought of you giving up on your words, although he would obey whatever your decision was.
But when he looked at you, he noticed your shy smile. “Can you remove your shorts too?”
He let out a little chuckle, “Of course,” and stood up to do what you asked so adorably for him to do.
You enjoyed the view of his dick hard inside his, now, tightened boxer. You wondered if he would fit in you, but you didn’t have time to think much of it as he went back to his position, gaze shifting between your clothed cunt and your anxious eyes. “Are you okay, princess? Remember, you can always ask me to stop.”
“Yes, Hee. I’m okay,” your voice came out between hitched breaths. “Please, do something, it’s hurting,” you pleaded with a little whine, and that was the green sign for Heeseung to sigh and groan by the sight of you, needy of his mouth on your pussy.
He placed a delicate kiss right on your clothed clit, simply for you to feel comfortable with your area being touched for the first time. Heeseung heard your little moan before losing himself in his mind, distributing hot touches with his lips all over the area.
He then removed your last piece of cloth, the view of your pussy in full display made him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so, his cock throbbing inside his boxers.
You had your eyes closed, trying to ignore the fact you were very exposed, to focus on the amazing feeling of Heeseung’s hot breath directly where you needed him the most. You moaned when his tongue licked experimentally your folds.
Heeseung slipped his hands under your legs to hold you in a position he gained a better support and kept you open for him as he worked on your cunt.
Your sweet taste melted on his mouth as he ate you out willingly, the tip of his nose brushing on your sensitive clit as he skillfully moved his head to stimulate you in as many areas as he could – his tongue teasing to enter in your entrance, the foreign feeling making you squirm in a bit of a discomfort that quickly waved out of your body because of how good your clit being stimulated was making you feel.
It was a mix of sensations you never really felt; you had touched yourself before, but nothing compares to Heeseung’s amazing mouth and tongue licking, sucking and making out with your pussy. You could feel the knot forming on your stomach as you tensed your body.
“Heeseung,” you moaned a bit loud. “I think I’m close–”
Heeseung broke out of the trance he got himself into to listen to you, afterall he wanted to take care of you. “I want you to cum on my mouth, is that okay princess?” He asked between little pecks and licks on your folds and clit. You nodded, not knowing exactly if he was seeing you do so.
“Could you look at me, angel?” He questioned, his voice sounding too sweet to the lustful view he was offering you. Hair stuck on his forehead, nose and chin glistened with your arousal. “There you go,” he smirked before diving again into your pussy, his eyes now never leaving your face, even when you rolled your eyes and threw your head back, trying hard to keep with his request.
Your orgasm hit almost instantly, the mix of his devilish looks and how he ate you so passionately worked together for you to achieve your release in his mouth, Heeseung drinking not only your juices, but all of your moans and whines.
He left the area after pecking two, three, four times, and then trailed kisses through your body until he reached the corner of your mouth, watching you breathing heavily with a small smile adorning your lips.
Heeseung decided not to kiss you right away, not only giving you time to recompose but also avoiding you to feel the taste of yourself in his tongue. He loved you for a while, gently brushing his lips on your skin, kissing once and a while, until he felt your hands caressing his hair, tenderly.
“Are you alright?” Heeseung questioned after a while, searching for your eyes.
“Mhm,” you nodded lazily. However, you knew it wasn’t the end, and mostly, you wanted more.
“Do you want to stop?” He caressed your face, moving away some strands of your hair. You shook your head, mischievously smiling. You could feel his still clothed dick literally twitching on your leg, and although your last orgasm was intense and you got a bit tired, you needed to have him even closer to you.
“You are hard as hell, Hee,” you giggled, catching his eyes darkening again. “And I need to feel you inside of me,” you looked at his lips before pulling him down to kiss you properly.
As earlier, the urgency of the touch grew faster and faster, and Heeseung had to remind himself once more that he needed to go slow.
He parted the kiss just to ask with a serious voice “Are you sure about this?”
“More than anything in my life, Hee. I want you,” you gently caressed his cheek, smiling when he pecked your lips before getting on his feet to finally remove his last clothing piece, revealing his whole body to you.
You swallowed when his dick jumped out of his boxers, throbbing, covered in precum, all because of you. You whined with the view, propping yourself up on your elbows when he got closer to your face since he had to get a condom in his nightstand. Your hand automatically rushed to grab his length, peeking up at his face at the right time to catch his face contorted in shock and then, pleasure.
“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, enjoying the warmth of your skin on his neglected, sensitive cock. It was clear you didn’t know exactly what to do, but the movement of going up and down was enough to make Heeseung’s knees weak. He was weak for you, afterall.
Heeseung let you try out whatever crossed your mind and enjoy yourself for a bit, because it meant you were comfortable enough with him to do so, and your endeared and erotic gaze hypnotized him too strongly for him to stop you.
He made sure to moan your name, watching your body reacting to it, trying his best to make you get wet again and make things easier later. He wasn’t faking it, though. Your hands really were doing wonders on his shaft – he watched you positioning yourself to sit on your knees, face with a faint focused frown as you cupped his tip, moving your hand in circles.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, the sensitive area of his dick getting the attention he needed was sending him out of orbit, and you were using just your hands.
“You– You have to stop,” he said as he gently held your wrist, halting your movements. His closed eyes prevented him from noticing your guilty expression, until he heard your voice.
“Sorry,” you murmured quietly, thinking you have done something wrong.
“No, baby. It’s not– I almost came,” he admitted. You didn’t know simple words could make your body heat that fast, your stomach instantly did a flip with his sincere confession.
Heeseung’s lips met yours right away, his body leaning forward so you both could go back to the previous position.
He placed himself in between your open legs, his gaze softening as he watched your anxious face. “I’m going to prepare you,” he explained with a low voice, kissing your neck as his hands went down to find your folds, touching you to collect your arousal and use it to lubricate his finger, “Don’t forget, your word is what guides me.”
Your body fully tensed when he pressed his digit near your entrance, “Relax, my love,” he murmured and kissed your cheek and then your lips. Your heart fluttered with the pet name. “I’ve got you, okay?”
You nodded, closing your eyes tightly, afraid of the pain you were so sure you would feel, however, Heeseung’s light touches on your sensitive area and the kisses he spread over your face got you distracted, almost making you miss when he slid a finger inside you. Your breath got stuck on your throat and he didn’t move, waiting for your body to adjust to the new intruder.
“I’ve never– I’ve never ever put anything inside me before, so it’s all new,” you admitted, feeling a mix of embarrassment and relief for verbalizing your discomfort.
“Yeah? You’re doing great, angel.” Heeseung encouraged, gently pulling his finger out while kissing you. You squirmed, a bit uncomfortable. “Such a good girl for me, mhm?”
His wording caused you to clench involuntarily around his finger, a reaction which didn’t go unnoticed by Heeseung. He kept kindly pumping his single finger inside you, teasing to add one more as you whined against his mouth, while he whispered sweet words of encouragement.
“You feel so amazing,” Heeseung said, and something popped into his mind. He decided to test the waters with a dirtier talk, his hot breath tickling your ear. “I can’t wait to feel you around me, so tight and wet,” he kissed your earlobe, his husky voice and words making you whole body shiver, “I promise, Y/N, I’ll make you feel so good,” his teeth nibbled your sensitive spot on your neck and you slightly arched your back, moaning, not even noticing when his second finger entered you.
You were panting a bit, messily whining and squirming, your fingers threaded through his hair, gripping it firmly, forcing him into your neck.
“You’re so tight, I don’t think I’ll last long when I get inside you,” Heeseung sounded muffled, loving the way you squeezed even more around his digits. “Can you feel how my fingers stretch you so well, baby?” His question sounded rhetorical to you, because it was obvious you felt the way he stretched you so amazingly good, your toes curling just by that.
“Hee, please–” You pleaded not quite sure what you were asking for, but your eyes locked onto his with a desperate need. His fingers worked so perfectly inside you, making you wonder how you could be so close to tearing, yearning for his dick, which you never ever had before.
Heeseung grinned, eyes dripping with desire and fondness, wandering your whole body as he removed his digits from you, “My baby seems a bit desperate, doesn't she?” He teased, chuckling. You watched as he coated his dick with a condom, jerking it off with the precum he collected before to prepare himself for you, never breaking eye contact. He leaned closer. “Don’t worry, I’m just as desperate as you are, my love,” and with that he positioned his tip in your entrance.
You tensed again, but Heeseung's sharp instincts caught the subtle change in your reaction. To help you relax, he covered one of your nipples with his mouth, warm lips sucking the sensitive area, making you moan. His body pressed into yours distracting you from the pain as well.
“Ah–” you gasped, frowning with a flicker of discomfort as he slid his dick inside you; your hands grabbed his shoulders, squeezing with a certain strength as you tried to get over the burning feeling in your cunt.
Heeseung was on the verge of insanity, his sensitive cock aching with your walls tightening around it, so eager for some more friction. He had to dig self control from the deepest place of his mind in order to keep going.
“Shh. I’ve got you, my love,” he kissed your wrist, and then your shoulder, and then your neck, and then your cheeks, and finally your lips, while slowly getting himself fully inside of you, moaning as he did so. “You drive me crazy,” he murmured against your lips, loving how messy you were kissing him, your expression changing little by little from a discomfortable to a pleasant one.
Heeseung remained still for a moment, making out with you while waiting for your body to adjust to his dick. You gently waved your hips forward with a little groan at some point, a silent plea to get more of what he was offering you, and he got the sign immediately.
With a tender smile and after pressing his lips in yours once more, Heeseung began to move, thrusting into you with a necessary slowness at first, that became unneeded the second you started to feel only the delight of being full.
His tip rubbed a certain spot in you that made you flutter your eyes shut while rolling them, moaning loud. “You liked that, angel?” He asked, desperate to pound harder and faster onto you, still controlling himself. “Tell me, please,” he looked at your lips parted, his name being the only thing coming out of them.
“Y–yes, Hee. It’s so fucking good– Ah,” you threw your head back in the pillow, his response to your compliment making him thrust deeper. “You feel so good, fuck.”
Needless to say that your praise to Heeseung’s work was enough for him to almost fully lose his inner battle of going easier with you. His head rested beside yours and while his movements grew faster, your voice got louder and louder; your fingernails sinking into the skin of his back, his moan close to your ear making you see stars with the overwhelming feeling.
“I’m close,” you whispered, feeling the known knot on your stomach growing stronger as Heeseung kept pounding into your g-spot. You opened your eyes to lock eyes with him, who already had positioned himself to do the same – both of you wanting to see each other reaching their respective climax.
“Come for me, princess,” he demanded with a groan. “Show me how good I’m making you feel.”
The view of Heeseung’s forehead damped in sweat with strand of hairs sticking to it, his parted lips every so often being bit by his teeth while letting out the prettiest sounds and his heavy breaths, his eyes showing your affection, desire, urgency in achieving his own release, and his dirty words, all of it blended together, worked perfectly for you to achieve your orgasm.
A strong wave of desperation and pleasure ran over your body and took you milliseconds to cum all over Heeseung’s dick with a loud moan, your pussy tightening harder around his cock while he drove you through your high at the same time he chased for his own.
“Fuck,” Heeseung moaned, keeping thrusting faster and faster, a frown of concentration adorning his forehead and then he saw you, pretty face contorted in pleasure, your mouth letting out the hottest moans of his name. You felt his cum filling up the condom inside you the same time he moaned your name, making you hiss while he pumped into you a bit more. Eventually he removed himself from you, flopping into your body, tired.
You thought you just had hit cloud nine with the amount of joy and excitement running inside you. A sense of realization making you smile brightly. You enjoyed the sound of your respirations working its best to recompose itself and Heeseung’s heartbeats against your chest.
“I have to say,” your voice came out a bit husky as you lovingly caressed Heeseung’s sweaty back. “Now I do accept the food.”
You heard Heeseung chuckle on your neck, before he kissed there and then your lips. “Yeah, me too.”
The morning after your first night together with Heeseung was filled with doubts.
After the sex, you both got cleaned up and ate the said delivery while watching something on the tv.
Obviously Heeseung didn’t let you go back to your dorm, needing to feel your warm embrace as much as possible. So you two slept together on his big bed, cuddling.
But then you woke up earlier than him, and you took your sweet time to appreciate his serene expression, deep in his sleep – his soft breath, his pretty eyelashes, his slightly parted lips. You sighed, a weird feeling eating away you inside, afraid of being left alone after the last night.
What if he said all of that just to have you one time? What if he did all he did just for that moment to happen? What if he didn’t really mean any of his words? What if he didn’t enjoyed it the way you did?
“What’s with the frown?”
You startled with Heeseung’s groggy voice breaking the silence of the room. “Nothing,” you awkwardly smiled and of course Heeseung didn’t buy it.
“Tell me,” he blinked slowly to focus on your pretty face, snuggling his body into yours. “Tell me what’s going on in this pretty head of yours, my love.”
You gulped, heart racing with his new way of calling you.
Love.
You got lost in your mind for a while before asking “Will you leave me now?” The question came out a bit more stupid than you expected, but at the same time, it was sincere.
Heeseung propped himself up on his elbow to give you a proper look. He removed the hair from your face with a gentle touch, caressing your cheeks with the same amount of care. His voice sounded low. “No,” he shook his head, eyes full of adoration, endearment, and love. “I’ll not leave you. Actually, I’m even more attached to you, my love,” his, oh, so known smirk tugged the corner of his lips. “I’m not going anywhere, unless you want me to.”
You hurried to shake your head, taking in every detail of his pretty features.
“Then I’m staying, and I’ll be taking anything you offer to me,” Heeseung kissed your lips in a different way. Slow, tender, filled with this new emotion – love.
You parted the kiss to look into his sparkly eyes, smiling.
“Then I offer you my everything, Heeseung.”
Holy shit this is so good—
OFF THE FIELD ➽ L.HS | 18+
PAIRING: football captain ! lee heeseung x tennis player ! afab reader. GENRE: smut, friends to lovers. SYNOPSIS: being friends with heeseung was hard, especially when you couldn't help but want to get fucked by him. but the plan turned into something else when you accidentally made him jealous. WARNINGS: smut, nsfw, mdni, friends to lovers, unprotected sex (please don't), kisses, contains cuss words, sexual content, fingering, boob play, dirty talk, pinning, marking, public setting, bondage, blind fold, hand cuffs, physical punishment, food play, rough, jealousy, possessiveness, lmk if I missed anything. WORD COUNT: 5.1k. (a/n: help— I just had this random idea and knew that I needed to make it asap. so here it is, I hope it's not too boring <3)
Being friends with Heeseung was hard. Not because you were envious of the girls who constantly fawned over him, but because your desire for him had grown into something you couldn’t ignore. Every smile, every laugh, every touch lingered in your mind long after you’d left his side, haunting you with the fantasy of what it would be like to have more. To have him.
The thought had become an obsession, one you indulged whenever you found yourself alone in your room, the door locked and curtains drawn. Today was no different. You lay sprawled across your bed, legs parted and back arched, with your clothes discarded in a messy heap on the floor. A smutty book was held in one hand, its pages creased from how often you’d returned to the same scene—the one that always set your imagination ablaze.
"His knee placed itself between her legs as she grinded against it, ruining his pants." The words sent a shiver down your spine, every line feeding the vivid image in your mind, only it wasn’t some faceless character; it was Heeseung. It was always Heeseung.
Your free hand moved with practiced ease, fingers pumping in and out of your wet heat as you tried to mimic what you thought his touch would feel like. Your breath hitched, lips parted as you gasped softly, the dull sound of your slick movements filling the quiet room. You pressed your fingers deeper, arching into the sensation, desperate to chase the high that only thoughts of him could bring.
You imagined his strong hands on your hips, his knee pressing between your thighs, guiding you with that confident smirk you knew all too well. The idea of grinding against him, of feeling the hard muscle of his leg beneath you, made your core tighten, a rush of heat flooding your senses. You quickened your pace, fingers curling just right, as you let the fantasy consume you completely.
Your head fell back against the pillow, your moans growing louder, more desperate. You could almost hear Heeseung’s voice, low and teasing, urging you on, telling you how good you felt, how perfect you were for him. The thought of him seeing you like this, legs spread and completely undone by the mere idea of him, sent a jolt of pleasure through you.
You bit your lip, trying to stifle the sounds escaping your throat as your hips bucked against your hand, the tension building rapidly. The book slipped from your grasp, forgotten as your need overtook you. You closed your eyes, surrendering to the fantasy fully—Heeseung’s weight above you, his breath hot against your neck, the rough drag of his knee between your thighs, and the deep, aching pressure of him finally inside you.
Your climax hit you suddenly, your whole body tensing as you cried out, your fingers working frantically to prolong the blissful wave of pleasure. The image of Heeseung burned brightly behind your eyelids, his name almost slipping from your lips in the throes of your release. As the intensity slowly ebbed, you collapsed back onto the bed, chest heaving and skin flushed, still haunted by the lingering sensation of what it would be like to have him for real.
You lay there, the room heavy with the scent of your arousal, heart still racing as the reality of your solitary pleasure settled in. Being friends with Heeseung was hard, but wanting him like this, with every fiber of your being, was so much harder.
“All the best for the match,” Heeseung said, his voice smooth and confident as he flashed you a smile that made your heart stutter. His dark eyes sparkled with a warmth that always seemed to melt your resolve, and for a moment, you found yourself lost in the depths of his gaze. Heeseung was effortlessly charismatic, his presence commanding the space around him, and you couldn’t help but get caught up in his orbit every time.
“Hmm…” was all you managed to mutter in response, your voice barely above a whisper. You tried to play it cool, but the way your breath hitched gave you away. Heeseung didn’t seem to notice, though—or if he did, he didn’t let on. He just gave you a playful wink before jogging off towards the football field, the muscles in his legs flexing with every stride, his figure quickly swallowed by the throng of players warming up.
You tore your gaze away, feeling the heat creep up your neck. You had your own match to worry about, and lingering thoughts of Heeseung wouldn’t help your focus. With a resigned sigh, you made your way to the locker room. The hallway was quiet, the distant echoes of sneakers squeaking on polished floors and the faint shouts from the football field filtering through.
Inside the locker room, you changed into your tennis outfit—short white pleated skirt, a fitted top, and mini shorts underneath to maintain your modesty. As you slipped on your wristbands and tied your hair back into a neat ponytail, you took a moment to steady your breathing.
Your fingers brushed the smooth fabric of your skirt, and you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of confidence. The outfit was both functional and flattering, hugging your form in all the right places, and it gave you a sense of poise as you prepared to step onto the court.
You walked out into the bright afternoon light, your tennis racket in hand, and approached the court where your match was set to take place. The air was electric, a blend of anticipation and the faint scent of freshly cut grass.
Spectators lined the perimeter, their eyes following every move with rapt attention. The rhythmic thud of tennis balls against rackets echoed, mingling with the occasional cheer or gasp from the audience. You could feel the pressure of their gazes, the silent judgment of each swing, each step.
As the match began, you moved fluidly across the court, your feet light and quick on the asphalt. Each time the ball soared toward you, you met it with a sharp, confident strike, the satisfying crack of your racket cutting through the air. Your skirt fluttered with each pivot and jump, but your mini shorts kept you secure, shielding you from the scrutiny of wandering eyes.
The game demanded all of your focus; your senses were attuned to the rhythm of the ball, the strategic placement of your opponent, and the calculated timing of each hit.
Despite the concentration required, your mind kept drifting back to Heeseung. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was watching, even from afar. Was he thinking about you the way you were about him? The tension between you two had been palpable lately—small, lingering touches, the way his eyes would darken when they settled on you for too long, and the subtle, unspoken pull that drew you closer every time.
The sun bore down on you, beads of sweat trickling down your temples, but you powered through each rally, refusing to let fatigue show. The crowd's murmurs grew louder with every successful shot you made, your confidence swelling with each point won. As you neared the end of the match, you saw a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye—Heeseung, standing just outside the crowd, his arms crossed and his gaze fixed intently on you.
He was dressed in his football uniform, his hair slightly damp from practice, and the way his jersey clung to his frame made your pulse quicken. Heeseung’s expression was unreadable, a mix of concentration and something else, something deeper that made your skin tingle. You felt a surge of adrenaline, the heat of his gaze adding fuel to your movements.
With one final, decisive swing, you sent the ball flying past your opponent, sealing your victory. A round of applause erupted, but all you could focus on was Heeseung. He uncrossed his arms, clapping slowly, a small, proud smile tugging at the corners of his lips. As you made your way off the court, you could feel the flush in your cheeks, partly from exertion but mostly from the thrill of knowing he had been watching.
Heeseung met you at the edge of the court, his eyes gleaming with a mix of admiration and something else—something that made your stomach flutter. He stood close, closer than usual, the faint scent of sweat and grass clinging to him, and you could feel the tension crackling between you like static.
“You were amazing out there,” he said, his voice low and warm, carrying that same electric charge. He reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers brushing your skin in a way that sent shivers down your spine. “Really. You kicked ass.”
“Thanks,” you replied, your voice trembling slightly under his intense gaze. His hand lingered near your face, and for a moment, you thought he might pull you closer. Your breath caught as his thumb brushed against your cheek, lingering just a second too long, his touch soft yet charged with unspoken intent. The way he looked at you, as if he was fighting the urge to lean in and close the distance, made your heart pound in your chest.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, his voice husky, his eyes searching yours as if he already knew the answer.
“Just… thinking,” you murmured, unable to meet his gaze directly. You were painfully aware of how close he was, the heat radiating off his body, the way his presence seemed to engulf you entirely. Your fingers tightened around your racket, a flimsy attempt to anchor yourself against the overwhelming urge to lean into him, to let the magnetic pull between you finally snap into place.
“About what?” Heeseung pressed, his voice dropping lower, his breath fanning across your cheek. His proximity was intoxicating, every nerve in your body alight with the promise of what could be.
“About… us,” you confessed, barely audible, but Heeseung heard you. His expression softened, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips, as if weighing the gravity of your words.
Heeseung’s hand slid to the back of your neck, his thumb tracing light circles that sent sparks skittering down your spine. He leaned in, his forehead resting against yours, the space between you charged with a simmering tension that begged to be broken.
“I’ve been thinking about us, too,” he whispered, his lips just a breath away from yours, the air thick with unspoken desire. The world around you blurred, the noise of the crowd fading into a distant hum as the two of you stood there, caught in the precipice of something more.
As you stand in the dimly lit boy's changing room, the mirror in front of you reflects the surreal scene unfolding. You didn't know how it happened or when it happened but right now, Heeseung, your best friend, has you pinned against the lockers, your legs wrapped around his waist as he holds you up.
His fingers, long and thick, are buried deep inside you, eliciting gasps and moans from your lips. The smell of sweat and testosterone fills the air, mingling with the scent of your arousal. Heeseung grunts softly, his breath hot against your neck. "You're so tight," he growls. "Like a vice around my fingers." His hips buck against you, his hard length rubbing against your thighs through his football shorts.
You bury your face in his neck, your fingers clutching at his broad shoulders. "Feels so good," you pant. "More, Heeseung. I want more." Your words spur him on, and he adds a third finger, stretching you wide.
Heeseung starts to pump his fingers in and out of you, his thrusts deep and relentless. The sound of his fingers slamming against your pussy echoes through the changing room, mixing with your cries of pleasure. Your legs tremble around him, your toes curling as he hits that sweet spot inside you.
Heeseung's voice is low and commanding. "You like that, baby? You like me stretching out your little hole?" His dirty talk sends shivers down your spine. You nod, unable to speak, and bite down on his shoulder to muffle your moans.
With a grunt he pulls down his shorts along with his boxers, Heeseung lifts you higher and aligns the thick head of his erection with your slick opening. He pauses, his dark eyes locked onto yours in the mirror's reflection. "Ready for me, love?"
He slowly pushes into you once you nod eagerly, the stretch sending a rush of pleasure through your body. You throw your head back, letting out a loud moan as he fills you completely. His cock throbs inside you, the sensation making you quiver.
Heeseung grips your hips tightly, his fingers digging into the flesh. "Look at us," he growls, nodding at the mirror. You look up, your eyes meeting his intense gaze in the reflection. He begins to thrust into you, slowly at first, then harder and faster. As Heeseung fucks you, the sound of your slapping skin and heavy breathing fills the changing room. Your breasts sway with each thrust, your nipples hardening into tight peaks inside your sports bra.
He reaches up to unhook your bra, throw it away and caress your breasts, his fingers brushing against your rigid nipples. You mewl at the sensation, your body tensing as pleasure courses through you. Heeseung's grip on your hips tightens as his pace quickens. "Touch yourself," he demands. "Play with your pretty little pearl while I pound into you."
You obey, reaching down to rub your clit in tight circles. The combination of Heeseung's thick cock and your own fingers sends you hurtling towards an intense orgasm. Your legs shake, your walls clenching around his dick as you scream in ecstasy. "AH! AH! AH!"
Heeseung's face contorts with pleasure as your inner muscles milk his flesh. He lets out a low growl, his voice hoarse as he rasps, "You're going to make me come, baby. Keep squeezing me like that." His words egg you on, and you tighten your legs around him, pulling him deeper with each thrust. He buries his face in your neck, his teeth sinking into your skin as he reaches his peak. He grunts loudly, his hips jerking as he spills into you.
As he finishes, you feel his hot cum filling your pussy, the sensation pushing you over the edge into another intense orgasm. You scream his name, your body shaking violently as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you. "HEESEUNG! HEESEUNG!"
Heeseung catches his breath as he slowly pulls out, a smug grin on his face. He watches as his cum drips down your inner thighs, leaving you feeling deliciously dirty and satisfied. "Damn."
The entire week had passed in an agonizingly slow blur, and the tension between you and Heeseung was almost unbearable. After finally crossing that line with your best friend—exploring the boundaries of friendship in ways you’d only ever fantasized about—he seemed to vanish from your life entirely.
He didn’t call, didn’t text, and somehow always seemed busy or just plain uninterested whenever you crossed paths. It was driving you crazy. Did he regret it? Did he not enjoy it? Was he simply avoiding the awkwardness? A dozen scenarios ran through your mind, each more unsettling than the last.
Tonight, you were at a party hosted by a mutual friend, a buzzing, crowded house filled with laughter, loud music, and the faint scent of spilled beer. You found yourself in a conversation with Jay, whose playful grin and easygoing charm had always put you at ease. He had an arm casually slung over your shoulder, his presence comforting yet strangely thrilling, as he ruffled your hair in that friendly, older brother kind of way. “You’ve been working out, huh? Your muscles are so big, Jay,” you commented, giving his bicep a squeeze.
You didn’t notice the way Heeseung’s eyes narrowed from across the room, his jaw set in a hard line as he watched the interaction. Jay chuckled, leaning in just a little closer, his breath warm against your ear. “Sweetheart, I’ve got something else even bigger,” Jay teased, a smirk playing on his lips.
Your cheeks flushed a deep crimson, caught off guard by the sudden flirtation, and you quickly turned your gaze away, hiding your embarrassment behind a shy smile.Heeseung’s grip on his drink tightened, his knuckles whitening. Every laugh you shared with Jay felt like a deliberate jab, every touch like a betrayal. He tried to play it cool, leaning against the wall with a casual air, but his eyes told a different story—one of jealousy, frustration, and a growing sense of possessiveness that he couldn’t quite control.
By the time the party ended, Heeseung was practically seething. He watched as you politely waved goodbye to Jay, who winked at you before heading off with a carefree swagger. You didn’t see the way Heeseung’s gaze followed Jay, almost daring him to look back, but it didn’t matter—Jay was oblivious, and you were already heading toward Heeseung’s car.
The drive was tense, the silence between you thick and suffocating. Heeseung’s grip on the steering wheel was firm, his knuckles still pale. His eyes remained fixed on the road, but the stiffness in his posture screamed of pent-up anger and something more—a wounded pride, perhaps, or the sting of seeing you so easily entertained by someone else.
“So, you like Jay or what?” Heeseung finally spoke, his voice laced with a bitter edge that you didn’t immediately catch. You turned to face him, brow furrowing slightly at the question.“I mean, he’s good,” you replied honestly, oblivious to the storm brewing beside you. “He’s nice. And he’s a gentleman.”
Heeseung let out a humorless laugh, shaking his head as he tightened his grip on the wheel. “Gentleman? That guy was undressing you with his eyes the entire night.”
You shrugged, not really sure where this was coming from. “Not that I mind.”
Heeseung’s jaw clenched, a muscle ticking just beneath the skin as he fought to keep his composure. “You don’t mind?” His tone was sharp now, the undercurrent of jealousy unmistakable.
“Hm,” you murmured, looking out the window, trying to ignore the tension between you. It felt suffocating, and for a moment, you wondered if maybe you had pushed too far. But then again, Heeseung had been ignoring you first.
Heeseung exhaled harshly through his nose, the car suddenly feeling too small, too cramped. “You’ll regret that answer,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. You glanced over at him, catching the flicker of something dark and possessive in his eyes—a promise of payback, of making you realize just how much he wanted you to be his, and only his.
He pulled the car abruptly into an empty parking lot, the tires screeching slightly as he parked with more force than necessary. Before you could question what was happening, he was out of the car, rounding the front with long, determined strides. He yanked open your door, the sudden rush of cool night air sending a shiver down your spine.
“What are you doing?” you asked, startled as Heeseung pulled you out, his grip firm yet careful, his eyes blazing with something you hadn’t seen before.
“Showing you exactly why you don’t need Jay,” Heeseung replied, his voice low, almost a growl, as he backed you up against the side of the car. His hands found your waist, fingers digging in just enough to send a spark of anticipation racing through your veins. He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “I’m the only one you should be thinking about.”
Before you could respond, his lips were on yours—demanding, urgent, and filled with all the frustration and desire that had been building up between you. His hands roamed freely, tugging at your clothes with an impatience that spoke of his need to claim you, to remind you that he was the one who knew you best, who could make you feel this way.
There, against the cold metal of the car, you felt the full force of Heeseung’s jealousy and longing, the heat of his touch igniting every nerve in your body. He kissed you like he was trying to prove a point, his mouth hot and insistent against yours, each kiss a reminder that no one else could ever compare.
As his hands slid under your shirt, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake, you realized that Heeseung had no intention of letting you forget what you shared. He wasn’t just your best friend anymore—he was the one who had seen you, wanted you, and wasn’t afraid to fight for you. And in that moment, you knew that whatever this was between you, it was far from over.
Heeseung watched you squirm with a mixture of frustration and desire. He had wanted to punish you, to make you feel a fraction of the hurt he'd felt when he saw you with Jay. He paced around the room, his jaw clenched, hands balled into fists.
He paused by the dresser, running his fingers over the cold metal handcuffs. A dark thought crossed his mind, and he picked them up, along with a silk blindfold. He approached the bed, his steps heavy with intent.
He gently lifted your head, securing the blindfold over your eyes before turning his attention to the handcuffs. He fastened one to your wrist, the cold metal biting into your skin. He then attached the other end to the headboard, leaving you helpless and trapped.
You whimpered softly, your heart racing with fear and anticipation. Heeseung's breath was hot against your ear as he leaned in to speak. “You're going to stay like this until I'm done punishing you,” he whispered, his voice low and menacing. “And I'm just getting started.”
He dragged his fingers down your arms, your sides, your thighs, igniting goosebumps on your skin. He paused at your knees, lifting one leg and placing it on his shoulder. You felt exposed, vulnerable, as he ran his hands up your inner thigh, his touch maddeningly light.
Heeseung continued his merciless punishment, his hands and objects unknown to you, working in tandem to break you down emotionally and physically. The blindfold and handcuffs left you at his mercy, unable to escape or even anticipate his next move.
First, it was the ice. He trailed cubes up your thighs, over your belly, and between your breasts. You hissed at the cold touch, writhing on the bed. He chuckled darkly, “Cold, baby?” Without warning, he pressed an ice cube against your warm, wet center. You gasped, the sensation intense and overwhelming. You heard the clinking of ice against a glass, and then his voice, “You're so hot, and I'm making you cold. How does that feel, hmm?”
He held the ice cube against your pussy for what felt like an eternity, the cold seeping into your core. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as the pain and discomfort mounted. Every now and then, he'd press the ice cube against your clit, making you scream into the blindfold.
“Please, Heeseung, I can't take it anymore!” you pleaded, your voice shaking with tears. “Shut up,” he replied coldly, pressing the ice cube against your sensitive clit once more. ”You're not allowed to speak until I say so.”
You bit your lip to keep from crying out, your body tensing as he continued the torturous punishment. He ran the ice-cold cube up and down your folds, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, never giving you what you truly wanted. “Heeseung, please...”
Heeseung silenced you with a sharp tap on your inner thigh. “I thought I told you to shut up,” he growled. “Now, you've earned yourself a little extra punishment. Open your mouth.” You hesitantly parted your lips, and he slid the ice cube into your mouth.
Heeseung watched as the ice melted against your tongue, a cold tear trickling down your cheek. “Now, I'm going to fuck you with this vibrator,” he announced, pulling a sleek black toy from his pocket. Heeseung's words sent a shiver down your spine, the unknown heightening your senses. You felt the cool silicone toy press against your entrance, and you clenched your teeth around the melting ice cube in your mouth. He slowly pushed the toy inside you, inch by inch, stretching you deliciously.
"Now, let's see how long you can keep quiet,” Heeseung taunted, turning the toy to a low hum. Your breath hitched as the vibrations washed over you. He leaned close, his breath warm against your ear. “Remember, no speaking, no making a sound, no matter what.”
Heeseung's eyes glinted with determination. “This is going to be a long punishment.” He circled the vibrator around your clit, making you squirm in his grasp. Then he began to thrust it in and out of you, gradually increasing the speed. Your mouth was still stuffed with the melting ice cube, and you desperately tried to stifle your cries as the toy battered against your g-spot. Heeseung added the ice cube to the mix, pressing it against your asshole while the vibrator continued its merciless assault on your pussy.
Sweat beaded on your brow as you bit down on the ice to muffle your whimpers. The cold and heat mixed within you, overwhelming your senses. Heeseung intensified the torture by slapping your thighs and breasts, leaving reddened marks on your skin. Your hands were cuffed above your head, leaving you helpless and at his mercy. You begged and pleaded, desperate to touch him, to feel his cock against your lips, but Heeseung remained firm. “Not until you learn to keep quiet,” he hissed, the vibrator still buzzing furiously inside you.
With each unfulfilled thrust, your resolve crumbled. You let out a muffled cry, your body bucking against the handcuffs and the cold sheets. Heeseung paused, his face hard. “Looks like someone needs more training.” Heeseung pulled the vibrator out of you, leaving a shivering and needy mess. His fingers traced your thighs, up to your hips, to your breasts, and finally to your jaw. He squeezed it gently before whispering, “Beg me again.”
You were already panting and desperate, but you mustered your strength and whispered, “Please, let me touch you. Please, I need you inside me.” Heeseung smirked and slowly lowered his head between your thighs. Heeseung's tongue traced circles around your clit, driving you to the brink of madness. You arched off the bed, straining against the handcuffs as he increased his tempo. Your cries became moans, then sobs as the pleasure became almost unbearable.
Just as you were about to shatter, Heeseung stopped. He rose from the bed, leaving you breathless and unfulfilled. “Not yet,” he said coolly, and walked out of the room. You heard the distant jingling of keys and the hum of the refrigerator. Moments later, he returned, carrying a tub of ice cream and a spoon. “Since you can't keep quiet, maybe some cold dessert will help,“ he taunted. He sat beside you and slowly fed you spoonfuls of the cold, sweet ice cream, ignoring your frustrated whimpers.
Heeseung scooped another spoonful and held it above your mouth. As you opened to accept it, he gently pressed the cold treat against your lips, then trailed it down your chin, across your chest, and between your breasts, coating your skin with the sticky sweetness.
He continued to spread the ice cream over your body, circling your breasts, pinching the hardened peaks, then dragging the cold, wet spoon down your quivering belly, and finally, parting your thighs to coat your swollen, throbbing folds.
He traced the edge of the spoon along your nether lips, leaving a cold, tingling sensation in its wake. You gasped, arching your back, moaning softly as he began to tease you using the ice cream as his tool. Heeseung's voice dripped with cold intent. “You wanted to touch him, did you not?” He slowly spread more ice cream over your feverish skin. “You called his muscles big? Well, now you'll learn the difference between boyish arms and a real man's physique.”
His touch grew harsher, his breathing heavier. “Every time you disobey, it'll be ice cream and cold showers. And you'll only get to touch me when I say so.” He lowered his head, his breath cooling the icy mess on your belly. “Understand?”
You nodded quickly, tears pricking at your eyes as he used the spoon to scoop up a generous helping of ice cream. He held it over your face, the cold droplets falling onto your cheeks and nose, before he pressed the spoon against your lips, forcing you to open wide and receive the punishment. As you lay there, blindfolded and handcuffed, you felt him lean closer. His breath tickled your ear as he whispered, “I'm going to teach you to appreciate what you have.” You heard the spoon clatter onto the table before his mouth was on yours.
He licked the ice cream from your lips, his tongue cold and demanding. He sucked on your tongue, his mouth moving to your cheek, his nose rubbing against your tears. He then moved down to your chin, licking the ice cream from your skin before moving to your neck, leaving a trail of cold kisses.
Heeseung gripped your thighs, his fingers digging into your flesh as he buried his face between your legs. He licked and sucked the ice cream from your folds, his tongue cold and unyielding. He nipped at your tender flesh, then soothed it with slow, languid strokes. He moved up to your chest, his mouth closing over a hardened nipple. He sucked the ice cream from your breast, his teeth scraping against your sensitive skin. He then moved to the other breast, giving it the same treatment before standing up and slapping your pussy with the cold, wet ice cream.
You hissed at the sudden cold and the sharp slap. He chuckled darkly. “Count,” he ordered, his voice cold. “And if you forget to, I'll start over.” He raised his hand, the cold, wet ice cream dripping from his fingers. “Ready?”
You nodded, bracing yourself. “One!” you cried out as the cold, sticky mess hit your core. He slowly dragged his fingers down, spreading the ice cream, then slapped your wet flesh again. “Two!” you moaned.
He continued the slow torture, his voice growing colder with each count. “Three... Four... Five...” Each slap was followed by the slow drag of his fingers, spreading the cold, melting ice cream. Your moans grew louder, your body tensing with each touch. “Six... Seven...”
His touch became gentler, his fingers slowly circling your entrance. “Eight... Nine...” He pushed two fingers inside you, the cold, wet sensation intensifying as he curled them upward. “Ten...” He leaned down, his warm breath on your ear.
He whispered, “Beg.” You whimpered, your hips bucking against his hand. ”Please... Please, Heeseung... I can't... I need to...” He silenced you with a hard kiss, his fingers moving faster inside you. “Beg properly,” he growled.
“Please, Heeseung... I'm going to... I'm going to explode... Please let me cum... Please, I need it so badly... I'll do anything... Just let me cum!” You begged, your voice breaking. Heeseung pulled his fingers out, leaving you aching and empty.
Heeseung smirked, his fingers still wet with your arousal. “What about Jay? You said he was big, didn't you?” He traced circles around your entrance with his cold fingers. “Are you thinking about him right now?”
You bit your lip, hesitating. Heeseung's touch became firmer, his voice harder. “Answer me. Is Jay on your mind as you lie here, handcuffed and begging for release?” He slowly pushed one cold, wet finger back inside you, then two, curling them upwards. “N-no...” you stammered, your breath hitching. “I'm not... I'm not thinking about him.” Heeseung's expression darkened. He added a third finger, his touch punishing. “Liar,” he hissed.
He pulled his fingers out, leaving you empty and aching once more. ”You want to think about Jay, don't you? You want to imagine his big, thick cock stretching your tight little pussy.” He leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear.
Heeseung's anger melted away, replaced by a softness he hated to admit. He gently stroked your clit, trying to coax you into an orgasm. “Please, just cum for me,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I can't stand the thought of you thinking about him.” You whimpered, the intense pleasure Heeseung was wringing out of you. “I'm sorry...” you gasped, your hips bucking against his hand. “It's not... It's not like that... You know I only want you...”
Heeseung let out a shaky breath, his touch gentling. “Good...” he murmured, his fingers slowly circling your heat. “Just me... Say it.” You moaned, your head falling back. “Only you, Heeseung... Please, just you...”
“Only me...” Heeseung repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. He increased the pressure of his touch, watching as you writhed under him. Your cries of pleasure filled the room, drowning out any other thoughts or doubts.
You screamed as your orgasm crashed over you, your body shaking with the intensity of it. Heeseung watched, his heart pounding, before gently pulling you into his lap. He took your lip between his, kissing you softly as he held you close, his dominance gentling into a caring, protective embrace. You nuzzled into his neck, still catching your breath. Heeseung's hand was still in your hair, no longer holding you down but gently stroking through the strands. “Good girl, you're not thinking about Jay or anyone else again.”
Heeseung carefully unbuckled the blindfold, his touch gentle as he revealed your eyes to the dimly lit room. Then, he slowly unlocked the handcuffs, massaging your wrists tenderly. “Come here...” He pulled you into a tight hug, his voice soft.
You wrapped your arms around Heeseung's waist, burying your face in his chest. A moment of silence passed between the two of you, before he leaned down and whispered, “I've got you..”
“And you belong to me,” Heeseung murmured, his voice firm yet gentle. He tilted your chin up, his eyes locked onto yours. “No more talking to Jay, alright? You're mine, only mine...”
• september three — 08:56 pm
© iconchae | tumblr
AUUUGGHHHH
𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐋.𝐇𝐒
▏pairings. heeseung x fem!reader
▏desc. baby making with your husband heeseung
▏warnings. SMUT mdni, pure flith, breeding kink, short little drabble
"Lift your hips baby. Yeah Just like that" Heeseung was towered over you his breath quick and chest heaving as he sat deep inside you. He had you at an angle pillow under your hips to lift you up slightly.
The two of you had seen this as a method to help in getting pregnant. Needless to say Heeseung was more than happy to try it out. Your legs sat on his shoulders his cock reaching unbelievably deep places.
"Fuck" You breathed pushing at his stomach just slightly the pleasure overwhelming your senses. "It's too much" You whined your hips lifting higher arching your back off the pillow as Heeseung started a brutal pace.
"You can take it baby-" Heeseung grunted attaching his hands to your hips to give himself leverage "Take this dick"
Your moans were high pitches as you allowed Heeseung to use your body in every way that he wanted. His pace was brutal but his words became sweet. He whispered in your ear small little "You're doing so good sweetheart" and "I can't wait for you to be swollen with my baby"
What was once a dirty filthy fuck turned into a soft love making, focusing on the task at hand which was to get you pregnant.
Your husband was completely fucked out his expression lewd, eye lids heavy lidden and mouth slightly ajar.
"I'm going to cum sweetheart" Your husband spoke in a rush, his voice raspy the echoes of skin slapping filling the room.
"Yeah?" You slurred wrapping your arms around Heeseung's pulling him impossibly closer to you. "You going to put a baby in me?" Your words were sultry causing Heeseung's hips to stutter against yours.
"F-fuck" He hissed out pace becoming unsteady "Fuck yes I am" He tried his hardest to keep his resolve but you could tell that he was slowly losing himself in the immense pleasure.
"You almost there baby?" He asked you, you nodded bringing you hand down to circle your clit the added stimulation inching you closer and closer to your end.
"Cum with me." He panted "Cum with me baby" He repeated his words a jumbled mess. "Fuck fuck you're going to be so beautiful pregnant baby.. fuck fuck" He was panting stilling his hips against yours roughly as he spilled inside of you.
"You're so deep!" You squeaked arching your back once again as you reached your end just meer seconds after him.
After taking a couple seconds to calm yourselves down Heeseung pulled out from you with a hiss. He sank to his knees in front of you core reaching his fingers to push his spend back into you.
"Have to make sure we don't waste a single drop baby" He said kissing the inside of your thighs before bringing his head back up to yours. He attached your lips to his in a quick kiss, the smile on his face as bright as you'd ever seen it.
"We should go again just to be sure" Heeseung smirked at you. You giggled wrapping your arms around his neck "Just to be sure” You nodded at him.
Stop cause why is this kinda….
♯┆Mind Break .ᐟ ★ L.HS
⌜Synopsis⌟ You didn't know when or how it started , you were a kind soul , you had your own circle of friends , so why were you being picked on? High school was literal hell for you , it was so bad that you had dropped out in your last year — you couldn't handle it anymore. Years later , the past torture you had experienced was affecting you in your adult years , you needed a therapist who'd help you. Luckily , you didn't had to wait for too long , someone was able to take you in almost immediately — it was almost as if he was waiting for you. ⌜Contains⌟ Dark fic, (MDNI), Therapist!Hee, recap of the bullying (contains sensitive themes such as : sexual harassment , physical attacks), past bullying/ trauma talk, Yandere!Hee, manipulation, very mentally unstable reader, obsessive behavior , toxic themes, smut (contains ; implied corruption kink, big dick Heeseung, biting, Dom!Heeseung, fingering, virgintiyloss) , love bombing, abuse of power, mentions of suicide/ implied suicide attempt, topics such as (; Depression , anxiety , mental breakdown ), Heeseung is very fucked in the head and a creep ⌜Wordcount⌟ 9k ⌜Vampies Note⌟ Reminder that this is all fiction and not a true representation of the member! Read at your own risk as it does contain sensitive topics, I'm not responsible for what you consume on the internet. Please only fuck with this FICTION wise , if you happen to get into a situation like that irl run , please run for the love of god. Again , this is all fiction. I do not want to see comments about how fucked up I made Heeseung. You're reading this at your own risk. Feedback and reblogs are appreciated 💗
"My name is Lee Heeseung , I'll be your therapist for now and take you under my wing"
Ah.. why did this all come to this point?
"It's nice to meet you Mr.Lee"
"Oh please, let's get comfortable. Just call me Heeseung. So , when did it all start?"
Right... it all started in High school.
If someone asked you back then during high school how you liked it , you'd say you loved it. You had your own little circle of friends , got average to good grades, never ran into any trouble and were just a good student overall. Well , that was until everything stopped and a new era started, as if a dark shadow consumed you and dragged you down to the pits of hell. It all started with a variety of students picking on you — at first , it were silly compliments or words , at least that's how you viewed them until it dawned down on you that they were mocking you. They were mocking you and your appearance— "pretty little bow you have there in your hair, it makes you look soo innocent" , "oh what a nice color you painted your nails", "maybe if I'd wear my skirt as short as you did ,I'd also get good grades".
It didn't affect you back then , you'd just brush it off and keep to your friends. That's when the rumors started — "no wonder you get good grades , you're sleeping with the teachers!", "Oh , don't deny it. We saw you fixing your skirt when you left the teacher's room", rumors started going around that you were allegedly sleeping around with a teacher. The same Teacher got fired after a couple weeks but not because of you , he was in fact sleeping with female students , but not with you. You should've been happy that he got fired , but it sent a complete backlash towards you. Everyone believed the rumors that you were sleeping with the teacher , that you were the reason he got fired — but why you? You didn't do anything , what about the female students that actually slept with him? Why weren't they getting any backlash although they were the ones who seduced and slept with him for better grades?
Your friends started to distance themselves from you as the rumors kept piling up — "(Y/n) is a slut! She sleeps with teachers to get better grades!", "On your way to blow another teacher? Why don't you blow me instead?", "I bet you enjoy sucking cock , why don't you drop out of school and be a hooker?". You were slut shamed over rumors that weren't even true , but you were relieved that it was only verbal, key word were. It didn't take long for it to turn physical.
Girls were ganging up on you in the schools bathroom or locker rooms, they'd pull on your hair and kick you until you were curled up and sobbing on the floor. They'd grab your face and smear it across the mirror to ruin your make up whenever you decided to make yourself look pretty. "Even make up wouldn't help a face like yours". They'd snap pictures of your crying face and leave the bathroom while giggling amongst each other. Boys would dump water over you and say things like "Let's see what color of a bra you're wearing today", before snapping pictures of your soaked body — the white uniform shirt getting see through due to the water. They'd sit behind you and write things on the back of your uniform , such as : " 5 bucks and I'll suck your cock!" "I'm a sexy whore" "I like to get fucked anal".
Something that was once a place where you'd be happy to see your friends and spend your lunchbreaks with , turned into a place you'd wish to avoid. It all stopped when you didn't come to school anymore , having reached your breaking point and found yourself standing by a bridge , ready to jump any moment but a wrinkly hand stopped you. It was a sweet little grandma who hastily tried to stop you , what was such a sweet old lady doing here during the night? That was all you could ask yourself as you let her pull your weak body down from the railings. Maybe she was the Angel you've been asking for so long? You just wanted help , you just wanted to get out and work on yourself but you didn't had the support you need — with no friends and your parents living far away , you had no one , you were alone and all by yourself. It was as if heaven sent her to find you , to pull you out of that dark hole that had consumed you. She took you in and treated you as if you were her own daughter , she helped you drop out of school and did everything in her power to help build you back up.
But what were her motives? Simple : She lost her own daughter. Her daughter took her own life because of how deeply depressed she was , she couldn't handle it anymore. The old lady regretted not checking up on her as often , she regretted not being able to save her. The night she found you was the same date her daughter died , she came to the city to visit the graveyard her daughter was buried in during night time. She regretted not being able to save her own daughter , but she could save someone else's life.
Heeseung hummed to himself as he wrote every important detail down on the piece of paper clipped to his clipboard , his pen tapping against it as he finished writing — his glasses hanging low on he bridge of his nose until he pushed the frame up , his eyes shifting to look at you with a sympathetic look. "Must've been a very hard time for you , I'm happy to hear that your guardian saved you. How do you feel when you think back to High school? Any good memory or any particular memory that stuck with you until now?", you thought about his question , staying quiet as you pondered while looking down at your lap. You couldn't remember anything , it was as if there was a black hole in your head, a black hole that consumed every single memory you had starting when you entered the stage of puberty until now. The only memories you remembered where after high school , but there were some memory fragments that you could still remember from High school.
"Not really... more like fragments of memories , just single pieces but no complete memory", you mumbled as you kept your head hung low. You could hear the way his ballpoint pen danced across the piece of paper as he noted that down before his cushion seat made a small squeaking sound. "Don't keep your pretty head hung so low , I'm here to help you and get better. We'll start with looking at others while talking", he held his clipboard underneath your chin , tilting your chin up so he could see your face. His dark bangs fell over his eyes as he looked down to you with a encouraging smile. "That's it , you have such a pretty face. You don't need to hide it", with that , he removed his clipboard from under your chin and walked over to one of the medical cabinets, opening the glass door and reaching to grab the sphygmomanometer. You couldn't help but feel flattered by his words , no guy has ever complimented you but...wasn't this ... unprofessional?
"We're going to check your blood pressure now, roll your sleeves up for me", He sat back down next to you ,putting on some gloves before disinfecting the device while you rolled the sleeve of your pullover up to your shoulder. "Good girl", he smiled , wrapping the cuff around your upper arm and tightening it before pumping it with air , his hand squeezing the rubber bulb, his eyes focused on the manometer to make sure he doesn't pump it too full. Once again , you questioned if him calling you a good girl was unprofessional but even if it was — you weren't complaining , his praise and compliments made you feel a bit better about yourself. Once he checked your blood pressure , he removed the cuff and rolled your sleeve down for your , his touch lingering on your wrist before he got up to put the sphygmomanometer back in place.
"Your blood pressure is fine and seems to be alright. Now , let's get really started. I want to know how you used to be and how you are now. Do you still have the same interests , what are your thoughts when you think about the future, would you like to continue your academics , how do you feel when you're outside alone and all that. Take your time with answering ,our session will last for one and a half hour", with that , he sat back down on his armrest chair and put his sand hourglass upside down. Future ? You hated thinking about your future , back then , you loved it — you had already pictured working your dream job, have a family and live in a big house , maybe a family dog or cat but now..? You only saw black. Every singly future dream you had having been discarded , you didn't think you'd live for so long — with that in mind , you stopped thinking about your future.
You wouldn't be able to get your dream job considering you dropped out of high school and didn't get a diploma. Even if you would have graduated and gotten one — with how much your grades dropped , you wouldn't have been able to attend the college you wanted to go to. Your future was just complete darkness for you, there was nothing you could see , like a void in your head.
"I don't ... have any view regarding my future. I used to enjoy hanging out with my friends but... I don't have any now. I used to really like going outside and just take a walk but I also don't do that anymore. My interests.... they did change , yes. I mostly just spend my time with grandma. We live in the village so I help her with her gardening or other chores she has. I love spending time with her..", his eyes kept looking at you before he nodded and noted everything down again , a small sigh coming from him when he took note of how you looked back down on your lap. "Eyes up here pretty girl, that's it , such a good obedient girl", he smiled in satisfaction as you followed his soft demand , why does he keep praising you so much..?
"How about your academics? It says that you have dropped out in your last year of High school ,that means that you don't have a diploma and that you didn't graduate. Listen , you don't need to be ashamed. It's understandable why you have dropped out and you did it to keep yourself save. You were being such a strong girl for holding on for so long , you can and should be proud of yourself", his words spread a comforting warmth across your chest , his words were like a warm hug to your heart — were you finally being understood by someone that wasn't your sweet old guardian?
"I would like to continue my academics but ... isn't it too late for that now? Besides... I don't think that I'm ready for it yet", Heeseung shook his head upon hearing your words , placing his clipboard down on his lap before he pushed his glasses up.
"Don't think like that , it's never too late. You can take all the time you'll need until you feel like you're ready to continue your academics. There are multiple options for you to continue your academics. There are specific schools for people who don't have a diploma for a variety of reasons , you're not alone but it's something you can only accomplish because you really want to . I'll help you with it. (Y/n) , I'm not only your therapist to help you with your issues but you can see me as a social companion. I took you under my wing to help you with your issues and to help you with getting back on track. You can always call me or text me when you need help. When you're having a break down , you can call me and we can make a emergency therapy session. When you need help , I'm only a text or call away", you nodded a little with a small smile , he was so kind to you.
He was genuinely trying to help you , not like other therapists you had test sessions with — they only cared about getting their money , not about you or your issues. But Heeseung ... he was so different, as if he knew how you felt.
The session continued until the sand hourglass had run out. "Alright , so we'll have our therapy session once or twice a week, whatever works better for you. If it only works once a week or if you don't feel the need for two sessions a week , we'll have our therapy session every Tuesday at the same time as today. If it works twice a week for you , it'll be on every Tuesday and Thursday. You can always cancel the therapy sessions if you have an appointment on the days or if you're sick , just inform me at least a day prior. This is my business card , my number and email address is on it . Like I said , if you need a emergency session , call me immediately. If you need to cancel a session , text or call me at least one day prior the session", the two of you got up as he lead you to the door , stopping in front of it with his one hand on the door handle while the other held out a small card towards you — you took it and put it into your wallet with a small nod.
He gave you a small smile and opened the door for you, his other hand resting on the small of your back as he guided you out. "I'll see you next time then, don't be too hard on yourself".
Ring...
Ring...
"Hello?", the line finally picked up after what seemed like forever — yet you didn't say anything. "Hello..? (Y/n)..?", the voice called out again , his voice gruff and husky — how were you supposed to explain to him why you had called him at 2am in the morning..? You chewed your bottom lip nervously to fight back the little sobs that were threatening to come out, you felt helpless. Everything was okay until your past bullies had found your socials and were sending messages with attached images of the house you lived in together with your "Grandma", they have found you again after years — it felt as if your memories were coming back just to haunt you, oh how you wished that you hadn't looked at your phone after waking up in the middle of the night. You wanted to say something but you could only let out a shaky breath as you tried to calm yourself down , you could hear his bedsheets rustling on the other line as he presumably sat up.
"(Y/n)? Are you crying? Come on , be a good girl and take some nice deep breathes for me , okay?", his voice was dripping with honey as he spoke softly to you , guiding and easing you into calming yourself down — well , as calm as you could be. "H-Heeseung they—", your voice cracked a little as you tried to speak , hearing the way he let a small hum out. "Yes? They? Who are 'they' and what is with them? Tell me , sweetheart", Heeseung encouraged while he reached for a bottle of water so his voice wouldn't sound so rough anymore. You let out another shaky breath. "They found me Heeseung... t-they know where I am and have m-messaged me on my socials. My p-past bullies", you swallowed your spit before you continued to talk. "I-I don't know what to do , I'm scared that they'll d-do something again..", your voice was shaking , your eyes focused on peeking out of your window as the feeling of paranoia creeped over you — what if they were still there? What if they were outside of your house right this moment even if it was so late already?
"I'd offer an emergency session but... the building is currently under construction", Heeseung sighed softly before a couple seconds of silence followed. "Listen Sweetheart , you don't have to do this , I'm offering this to you as your therapist. Normally , I wouldn't do that but I don't trust you being all on your own right now. How about I pick you up and we'll have said emergency session at my house , how does that sound sweetheart?", you paused as you heard his words , needing a second to register what he said. Was this even allowed? Wouldn't that put him in risk of losing his job if anyone found out? Is that even professional...? Well.. he does have to help you , doesn't he?
"Isn't that ... unprofessional..?", he let out a strained chuckle at your question. "Well , yes it would be but I'd rather put my job at risk than have anything happen to you sweetheart. Do you trust me?", did you trust him...? Of course you did , all he's been doing was helping you , earning your trust and making you feel wanted and validated.
"Yes Heeseung... I do", you couldn't see the way his lips curled up in a smirk , satisfied with the reply he got. "Good girl... I'll keep you safe. Be a sweetheart and pack a bag for me, m'okay? Considering that they have found your current location , anything could happen to you, we wouldn't want that , right? Pack enough essentials and clothes that would last days", his words confused you , why would you need to pack a bag? "I'm not going to do anything against your will , this is for your safety. Now that everyone has grown up, they could do far worse than they did in high school. This is going to be a special treatment , a more intense treatment. You'll stay with me until it's safe for you again", you contemplated as you heard him continue to speak. Was this even right? But , even if it wasn't , he just wanted to help you, right?
"Okay... I'll pack my bag", his smirk only grew on his face , this is exactly what he wanted. "Good girl , I'll be there in 20 minutes. Take your time , I can wait in the car. No need to rush", with that , he hung up. Was this really happening? Would you really live with your therapist now? But... you felt save with that option. He was always so caring in each session the two of you had and with how paranoid you were about your bullies , you weren't able to even think twice about it. But what about your grandma? You'd just send her a text in the morning to notify her that you were given a more controlled and special treatment without giving out any details, this was putting his job on the line after all.
Time flew as you packed a medium sized bag with your clothes and essentials , looking up from your things as you heard a car parking in front of your house — Heeseung was here. You couldn't help but feel a wave of relief wash over you, he was like your knight in shining armor .... well , more like , guy in baggy clothes sitting in his bmw — still your knight regardless, oh what would you be without him. Luckily , he didn't need to wait for too long — you were quick with packing your bag up
"You've been crying a lot , haven't you? It's okay , I'm here now , I'll keep you safe", Heeseung reassured as you opened the passenger door and sat down on the passenger seat , a mix of shame and embarrassment washing over your face as you looked down at your lap. You felt ashamed that you were so scared that he decided to take you in for your own safety , ashamed that you had woken him up in the middle of the night just because you needed him , embarrassed that this was really happening and embarrassed that you weren't able to handle it alone.
"Oh don't have that expression on your face", his hand came into your view as he placed it on your knee , giving it a gentle rub. "I told you that you can rely on me , you can trust me. I'm your therapist after all", he assured before he removed his hand from your knee , moving it up to your chin before lifting your head up — his thumb gently gliding against your skin. "You look so pretty when you cry... a shame that those tears are for them. The only tears you should cry should be out of happiness", with that , he handed you a tissue and moved his hand to the gear , shifting out of parking and shifting into the right gear before he drove off.
The ride was silent , but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. The further you got away from your house , the more at ease you felt. He had the music turned on a low volume , the songs in his playlist serving as a background noise — you couldn't help but sing along in your head as the song "we belong together" by Ritchie Valens played , enjoying the way Heeseung was humming quietly as well.
You wondered how in the world he managed to get to you in just 20 minutes , maybe he just drove fast? It took the two of you 40 minutes to reach his house — you felt a little surprised upon seeing where he lived. He didn't leave in the city or anywhere with a lot of people, he lived near a forest. Maybe he just didn't like the city? Maybe he liked to keep to himself. "Surprised?", Heeseung asked as he stood next to you , his hand reaching for the handles of your bag — his fingers brushing against yours , sending a jolt of electricity through your fingers.
"I— Well , I didn't think you'd live so far away from the city and more hidden from the public..", you mumbled as you looked at his house — it was big and modern looking , it probably just got build months ago. "What can I say? I like to keep private. The city is too busy for me , plus , the house I live in used to be my grandparents house. I got it re built since it had many issues due to how old it was ,so why not just make it a modern looking one?", he chuckled under his breath while he closed his car before motioning his head for you to follow him as he headed towards the front door. You looked around for another second before following him.
The house didn't only look modern from the outside , but from the inside as well. The smell of new house was still lingering , but it wasn't very strong. "I'm sorry for the smell , it's been months but the smell hasn't gotten out for some reason. The amount of room scents I have bought to cover the smell is ridiculous", Heeseung huffed a little while he took his shoes off , waiting for you to do the same before he lead you upstairs. "You can stay in this room for the meantime , I hope it has everything you need in case you forgot... any essentials", he seemed almost shy and embarrassed as he said that while he placed your bag down in the room.
The room looked ...weirdly prepared. It was very feminine looking , not too much but enough to show that it was intended to be a room for a girl. It was medium sized with a connected bathroom. "I already changed the bedsheets for you so you don't need to do that. This used to be my sisters bedroom in case she visited that it's a guest room now. If you need anything , my room is right opposite of yours. Make yourself at home", so that used to be his sister's room? Well , that explains it then. "Alright.. okay", you nodded your head while you still looked around the room for a little before he spoke up. "Are you hungry? Maybe eating something warm will make you fall asleep easier sweetheart. How about that , you'll unpack and get settled in. Maybe even take a nice little shower and I'll make us something, how does that sound Princess?", his generosity made you feel better , he was so kind to you. A warm feeling was spreading through your chest once again.
"That sounds nice ... Thank you Heeseung", you looked up to him and gave him a soft smile , a smile of his own spreading on his face — too bad that you missed the way something was hiding behind his smile. "Anything for you sweetheart. Oh and before I forget it , do not go into the basement. The stairs are unstable and I wouldn't want you to get hurt. And it's more of my personal office , I keep documents of other patients in there so you can't go into it due to privacy reasons", he informed you before he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him to let you get settled in.
You hummed to yourself as you once again gave the room a complete look over before you started to unpack your things , realizing what he meant with "forgetting any essentials" upon entering the bathroom — he really was caring. He stocked one of the drawers up with feminine products in case you'd get or have your period during your stay , a comforting warmth spreading through your body again before you set your clothes down on the sink counter and started to undress, ready to take a nice shower.
A proud smirk was on his face as he walked downstairs to the kitchen while humming to himself — he finally got you were he wanted you to be , in his trap. You fell into his trap and he would do anything to make his plan work , his plan? To make you his — a plan he has been working on for years and he would do anything to make it work.
It's as if it was yesterday when it all started , when he started to fall for you back in High school . Oh if only you had noticed him , it wouldn't have to be this way then. He fell in love with you the moment he saw you in school, a memory he held so dearly. You were behind the school , feeding a pregnant stray cat that would always linger around the school — hoping to dive into the dumpster and get something edible whenever the cafeteria threw the leftovers away. He started to grow obsessed and would stalk you everyday , following your shadows and observing you. He knew your routine , he knew your friends , he knew where you lived , he knew all your socials, he even found the company your parents worked at in a different country — he knew everything about you in only the span of a week.
He tried everything to get your attention , yet he has never been noticed.
His obsession and feelings for you only grew the more time had passed , he needed to have you , he needed to have you all to himself. You were easy to manipulate , so vulnerable and easy to break and mold — that was when his plan was put into action. It all started with him spreading rumors on anonymous accounts to the popular students with attached images that would support the rumors , knowing they would spread like a wild fire once the popular students would get their hands on them. But that wasn't enough , you were mentally too strong to let it get to you. That's when the bullying started. He'd anonymously pay a variety of students to bully you, specifically the bullies from your school. They didn't need an actual reason to bully anyone , they just did it for fun — but given the rumors spread about you , it made it all too easy for them to bully you.
He knew he finally succeeded the first step of his plan when you dropped out of school — that's when he found out that you were taken in by a old lady. That may have been a little obstacle in his plan , but it worked out for him. Now the next step was set into action. What was his next step? He studied hard in school and in college to get to the point where he was now , to be your therapist. He moved away from where he originally lived to be closer to you , he brought the old house of his grandparents back to life and designed one of the rooms to be your room.
It wasn't his sister's room , he didn't even have one nor did the room serve as a guest room , this was a room specifically designed for you. He knew he was going to have you at some point , he just knew it. His stalking never stopped , you just never noticed him. He knew every single step you took and once he heard that you needed therapy , he jumped at the opportunity. Without your knowledge, he had talked to your grandma and slipped her his business card while he was in disguise — everything was going according to plan.
He had to control his facial expression when he heard your voice on the other line , explaining that your grandma recommended him to you and if he was available for a new patient. Of course he was , every single patient he had beforehand was given to another therapist so he could always be there for you and you only. He was a dedicated man.
The fact that the bullies came back worked in his favor and for once , he didn't had anything to do with it. They found you on your own. There was so thing such as special treatment, it was a lie. This was just for him to have you to himself. He completely manipulated you and was working in molding you , which was working. You were so vulnerable , so broken and so insecure with such a negative mindset — it was almost too easy for him.
He was going to make you his , no matter what. You were already so dependent of him , you were already trusting him so much — it will be so easy to continue with his plan.
Heeseung could only smile successfully as he started to prep the meal , he just needed to make you fall for him now , but unbeknownst to him — you already were.
"It tastes really good! I didn't know you were such a good cook", you complimented his cooking as all the different flavors melted on your tongue — it may be a simple dish but anything home cooked tasted good. He could only chuckle from next to you as his eyes shifted to glance at you , watching the way you eating so happily. God did you look so cute. "You're such a messy girl", he took note of the sauce that was on the corner of your lips , shaking his head a little whenever you missed the spot with your tongue before he reached his hand out — his thumb swiping along the corner of your lips to removed the sauce before he licked it off of his thumb. Heat immediately rushed to your cheeks as he held eye contact with you as he licked it away, his gaze was so intense , almost piercing through you.
You could only curl your lips up in a tight lipped smile , feeling a little embarrassed and flustered from what just happened as you continued to eat. Heeseung leaned back into his chair with his arms crossed over his chest as he studied , moving one of his hands to your damp hair. "Let's dry your hair after you have finished eating Sweetheart, we wouldn't want you to catch a cold now ,do we?", he mumbled softly as he rubbed strands of hair between his fingers , his eyes shifting from your hair to your eyes — there was something in his eyes that you couldn't read. "Yeah , we don't want that..", you repeated his words softly whilst nodding to yourself. He could only smile in return , a smile of satisfaction.
Once you were done eating , you cleaned the dishes despite Heeseung saying that he could do it himself — you were basically living at his house for free now for that special treatment , this was the least you could do. "You're being such a good girl...", Heeseung praised as you sat down between his legs on the ground while he sat on the couch , having insisted that he would blow dry your hair. "How..?", you asked in return as you heard heard him plugging the blow dryer in. "You're listening well to me , you're so obedient for me. You even cleaned the dishes even though I said you wouldn't need to do it , you're so well behaved..", he mumbled as he placed his hands on your shoulders , giving them a gentle yet firm squeeze before he pulled you closer to him.
Your eyes closed as he turned the blow dryer on and gently brushed through your hair as he blew the warm air onto your damp hair , it all felt so soothing to you. Having someone taking care of you like that , being so gentle and kind to you , helping you with your tasks — it all made you feel so loved. You were in denial when you realized that you were starting to catch feelings for him — maybe you just felt that way because he was so caring to you? You tried to suppress your feelings for him, knowing that it could put his job at risk but he was already doing so by bringing you to his house to take proper care of you.
You felt so at ease , so comfortable with him — you trusted him with your life. The feeling of his fingers gently running through your hair combined with the warm air coming from the blow dryer was making you sleepy , your head lulling to the side until it leaned against his leg right next to your head. He only smiled to himself as he noticed that before he turned the blow dryer off once your hair was dry , shaking your shoulder gently. "Come on, let's get you to bed sweet girl", you could only let out a sleepy hum as you slowly got up from the ground , rubbing your eyes that were threatening to close any moment before they shot open in surprise — his arms were circled around you as he swooped you up in his arms.
"It's okay , I got you", with that , he made his way upstairs to the room you were staying in. He gently kicked the door open with his foot and laid you down on the bed , making sure you were laying comfortable before tucking you in — but as he was about to leave , your hand held onto the sleeve of his sweater. "Thank you ...Heeseung", he only smiled at your sleepy words and patted your head gently. "Don't mention it. Sleep well , sweetheart", with that , he lifted your hand up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss on the back of your hand before taking his leave , quietly closing the door behind him.
You were sleeping peacefully for once , blissfully unaware of what he was doing.
The lights were dim in the basement , the only bright source of light being his computer. The basement had a corkboard on the wall — a corkboard full with pictures he had taking of you over the years with red hearts drawn on them. There were no patient documents in the basement , there were only pictures of you. There was a shrine of trinkets he has collected from you that he had stolen — keychains , earrings , pieces of paper you drew on during lessons, pictures of you and your friends. The faces of your friends were scratched out and covered with a cut out picture of his own face. The basement was dedicated to you.
He covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he stared at the screen of his computer , watching the recorded footage of you showering. Oh how unknowing you were of the cameras he had put up around his house — he already planned everything out for your stay here. He should feel bad , any normal person would , but he wasn't normal. He was sick in the head , there was no denying that , he found pleasure in watching you shower.
His right hand was furiously stroking his leaking cock as his eyes were focused on the way your hands were caressing your naked body , your hands soaping up your pretty tits — the sight had him biting back a loud moan. He was already so close , so fucking close. He felt as if he was going to put any moment — and he did once your pretty pussy came into his view. Ropes of cum came spurting out of the slit of his cock , landing on his hand and on the surface of his desk. Oh how he wished he could just fill your pretty pussy up , make you pregnant and stay with him together forever — he was going to get there at some point , he was sure of it , but he wouldn't do anything without your consent. Sure , he was fucked up for everything he did , but he was still a gentleman somewhere. He just made you do everything on your own , he never once forced anything on you — this was all on your own will.
How did it come to this? You don't remember anymore. One second , you were crying in your sleep and apparently screaming , waking up to Heeseung's worried face as he shook you awake — and the next second , his lips were on yours.
It's already been over a week since you've stayed with him and you couldn't live any better than that. He took care of you, helped you whenever you had a mental breakdown, fed you , bought things for you whenever you needed something because he didn't think it was safe for you to go out yet. This was the special treatment after all, a more intense one that had you isolated in his house. But you didn't feel isolated at all. You were allowed to move around freely inside the house ,except for the basement , you were allowed to go outside as long as you stayed on his property — that being the pretty garden you had. Sure , some people may feel isolated but you didn't , this was pure heaven for you.
You didn't had to communicate with strangers, you didn't had to challenge yourself to go outside and buy things, you didn't had to worry about your bullies finding you again — you felt safe and free , he took care of everything for you.
Just like now , he was taking care of you. "Do you want me to distract you?", you nodded your head at his question as you could only let out a quiet sniffle , leaning into his touch as he caressed your cheek. "Words , sweetheart , give me words", the mattress of your bed dipped as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yes Heeseung... please distract me ..", oh he was so close to what he wanted, so so close. "Alright , I'll take care of you sweetheart , I got you. If I do anything you don't like , tell me and I'll stop", what did he mean with that?
His thumb gently wiped your tears away. "Can I kiss you?", at this point , you didn't even care if this was crossing the line of him being your therapist — you wanted it. You fell asleep at night thinking about kissing him , but you never did because he was your therapist after all. You didn't care anymore, you wanted him , you wanted him to kiss you , to distract you and take your pain away. "Yes please... please kiss me Heeseung", your words made his heart explode with excitement , he was getting so close to his goal and he knew by now that you had fallen for him. Everything that was going to happen now was because you wanted it — sure , he may have manipulated your mind but everything was working out for him, not only for him but for you as well.
He moved himself to hover above you , his arms resting on each side of your head before he slowly leaned in — he was going to savor this moment , the moment he was going to claim you as his. His nose brushed against yours as he just took the sight he had in — your teary eyes looking up to him so so innocently before they closed as his lips barely brushed against yours , your eyelashes resting on the apple of your cheeks, waiting for him to finally kiss you. His lips were soft against yours as he finally pressed them against yours , guiding your lips in a soft kiss. He knew that you have never kissed somebody , even if you did , he would just kiss you so hard that you won't even remember and erase any trace of them even if it was years ago.
A tingling feeling spread through your lips as his touched yours , your fingers holding onto your blanket as you didn't know what to do with your hands. Should you touch him? Where should you place your hands? So you just opted to holding onto your blanket. His kiss was slow and gently with a hint of possessiveness — his lips chasing yours whenever you pulled away for a quick breather.
He was taking such good care of you.
His right hand was moving to cup your face , tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss as he poked his tongue out — the wet tip of his tongue tapping against your bottom lip, his blood pumping as you let out a soft sigh and parted your lips. God you tasted so sweet , must be the sweet tea he had given you to calm you down a bit. His grip on your face got a bit firmer as his tongue explored your mouth , tasting every single inch while his tongue glided against yours. Your fingers gripped your blanket tighter before you released your grip , your touch burning his skin as your hands glided along his back up to his nape. He couldn't stop the shaky breath he let out.
He broke the kiss and pulled away , pecking your lips as your lips chased his before he sat up — a thin string of saliva snapping off your lips. "Can I touch you? Take your mind away and make you think f other things?", his breathing was a bit ragged as he spoke , clearly worked up from the kiss. The fact that he was getting so worked up from just kissing you set a burning heat free inside your body , making you feel weird in the pit of your stomach.
"Yes, please — Touch me Heeseung", oh how he dreamed about hearing those words. "Yeah? Where can I touch you sweetheart?", he asked as he pulled the blanket to the side , the cool hair against your hot skin making you shiver a little. "Can I touch you here..? and here...? Where do you want me to touch you..?", he dragged his finger from your chest down to your stomach before moving his hands to grab onto your hips as he got himself comfortable between your legs.
You wanted him , you wanted and needed him so badly but you were too shy to say specifically where you wanted him to touch you. "Everywhere..."
"Everywhere? Even here..?", Heeseung mumbled , his voice a bit more rough as he lifted his right hand up and tapped against your clothed cunt with his finger — making you squirm underneath him. "Yes... please but Heeseung...", your mumbled words made him perk up , resting his hand back on your hip as he waited for you to continue speaking.
"I've never...", your voice trailed off as embarrassment washed over you , your eyes looking away from him — but he understood what you meant and it made all his blood rush down to his cock. "Never touched yourself..? Never got touched..?", Heeseung asked , a hint of hidden possessiveness laced in his voice. He knew that you have never touched yourself , at least not like that.
He can still remember the day he saw you humping your pillow while he was peaking through your window months ago , desperately trying to get off as you rubbed your clothed little pussy against the pillow.
You just nodded your head upon hearing his words, your face burning uncomfortable hot. "That's okay sweetheart , I'll show you what pleasure feels like if you want that?", you mumbled out a soft little yes as a reply. "Let's get you out of your clothes , you're starting to overheat. I can feel how hot your body is through your shirt", he grabbed your hips more firmly as he pulled you up in a sitting position. "Can.. Can we keep the lights off?", that was okay with him — he already memorized how your naked body looked.
"Of course we can", with that , he slowly started to undress you — but even with the lights off , you couldn't help but feel shy. Every touch or caress of his fingers on your bare skin left a lingering hot touch to it , every single soft rub of his thumb against your slowly hardening nipples had you letting out quiet little noises. Nobody has ever touched you like that. He made you feel secure , you trusted him.
"I got you baby , you're being such a good girl for me", his lips left burning kisses on your neck to distract you from his thick finger prodding at your weeping hole — god you were so fucking wet for him and he couldn't wait to bury his cock deep inside you. You were already so tight around just one single finger , a second finger being added to properly stretch you out. Again , he may be fucked up but he himself wouldn't want to cause any pain or discomfort for you. Which is ironic considering he was behind everything that happened to you , but you didn't need to know that.
"Are you close sweetheart? You clinging onto my fingers , just let go. I got you", he whispered into your ear before pressing a soft kiss against the shell of it , his thumb extending to rub tight , gentle circles against your clit. God how fucking tight you got when you came around his fingers , he sure as hell wasn't going to last once he had his cock inside you. He could cum just from thinking about how tightly your pussy would be gripping onto his cock. He could feel every single clench of your tight walls around his fingers as you came , your walls spasming.
"Heeseung please... I need more, I want you inside me", he had to bite back a groan at your words , you were already being so drunk and greedy for pleasure. "Are you sure..?", he asked , the feeling of possessiveness just growing bigger inside him as you whined out a yes. "Okay , let me get some things first..", he moved himself away from you as he got up from the bed to go to his bedroom , his hand pressing down against his cock as he had to hold it down with how hard it was.
He came back with a condom and a bottle of lube , better to be safe than sorry and especially since it was your first time — he didn't want to hurt you but he was sure to get you drunk off his cock and shape your pussy into the shape of it. He took his hoodie off along with his sweatpants and boxer shorts , grabbing your hand to guide it to his cock. He wanted to get you familiar with his cock and to make you aware of what was going to impale you. As your hand came into contact with his cock , it twitched and he groaned quietly as your hand curiously ran along the length of it and — my god , was he big.
"I'm asking you again , are you sure you want this?", Heeseung asked just to confirm your consent once again. "Y-Yes , please . Heeseung, I want it , I want you", his cock was already leaking before but it was leaking even more when he heard how much you wanted him — your voice so desperate and filled with need.
He made quick work with rolling the condom onto his cock , he didn't want to leave his darling waiting when she was clearly needing him so badly.
He lubed his cock up and spread some of the lube on your quivering hole , your body shuddering underneath him as the cold liquid came into contact with your burning heat. The bulbous head of his cock was pressing against your entrance as he positioned himself before he leaned down to you , his lips pulling yours in a heated kiss to distract you from any pain you may feel. Your hands came flying to his hair as he slowly pushed himself past your tight entrance , you felt as if you were getting split open by his cock — he was big , way too big for you to handle but that was something he'd work on later.
He only pushed a bit over half of his cock inside you , feeling the way your body trembled as he gave you some time to adjust before slowly thrusting his cock inside you. God did you feel good , so fucking good , better than in his dreams or any fleshlight he used, imagining that it was you. He really wasn't able to last long , this may be the quickest he ever came in his life — his thumb rubbing circles against your clit to get you to cum before him , holding back his own release.
A loud moan left your lips as he suddenly bit down on your shoulder , a shockwave of pain running through your body before it got replaced by pleasure as you pussy clenched around his cock — his hips chasing his own release before they stilled as he emptied himself in the condom , pressing his cock deeper inside you.
"Are you okay?", Heeseung asked as he carried you to his bed after having finished cleaning you up. You were worn out and exhausted , yet you have never felt better in your life. He always took such good care of you. "Yes... thank you", you let out a quiet yawn as he laid you down on his bed and dressed you in one of his shirts before laying down next to you.
You scooted closer to him , putting your head on his chest as the feeling of fatigue washed over you. "Heeseung...I love you... thank you", with that , said feeling fatigue pulled you into the land of dreams.
He did it , he finally did it. He got you , he got you exactly where he wanted , with him. All his hard work was finally being paid off. He was going to make you his forever now. His plan really worked , the plan he had been working on for years and he was never going to let go of you now. Never.
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