Perigordtruffle - Hunting For Rabbit Holes - Tumblr Blog

gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets

Doodle in mspaint

haibane renmei cosplayers, summer 2003

Feeling depressed again :(. I know why I'm depressed – I haven't seen my friends in ages and I'm really lonely – but that doesn't really make it better. My sleep cycle being out of whack again probably doesn't help either.

I think most of my problems are caused by the fact that I'm fundamentally a very reactive person (as opposed to proactive). I'm terrible at starting things and I'm terrible at planning for the future, I just respond to the things that happen directly around me. I often don't even speak up in a conversation unless I'm asked a question directly.

I realise I'm being stupid, I know I should ask my friends to meet up and I know I should email someone at the university to see what support they have – but because I feel like I don't know how to even go about starting to do that it doesn't get done. There's just such a vast difference to me between responding in the affirmative to “Do you want to do X?” and saying “I want to do X” unprompted, and I don't know how to bring them closer.

I suppose I believe that the majority of parents, now and throughout history, have treated their children in a way that in a just world would be considered abuse. The majority of men have abused their female romantic partners, and although women's power to enact abuse has generally been less than men's, a still significant portion of women have been able to abuse their male romantic partners regardless. Almost all of us with any appreciable amount of wealth, which includes the majority of people living in the first world, have spent money on things that are not ultimately necessities even when that same money could have gone to save a human life. We have let people die when we could have saved them, plain and simple. Would we have done that if they were dying right in front of us? Maybe. Or is it only because they are far away and dying out of our sight that we didn't intervene?

Some people are of course more culpable for the world's injustices than others, but essentially no one is genuinely free of wrongdoing (and indeed, precisely because most people try to avoid wrongdoing that they or their culture recognize as such, very few of us are free of that even worse sin—remorseless wrongdoing).

The world is in some sense quite a nasty place. But in spite of thinking this way, and having thought this way for many years, I don't feel any sort of hate for the world. In spite of all these injustices I am, rather, brimming with love for the world and for the people in it. If I thought that abusers, exploiters, cops, or any who have been complicit or actively participant in wrongdoing were themselves unworthy of justice then I would find few flaws with the world—after all, it is a great cycle of hurt and pain, and most who harm others eventually are themselves subject to harm at the hands of yet others, and so on and so forth. There is a worldview in which this misery is all quite just. But I don't hold it. It is precisely because I am capable of loving people in spite of what might be called genuine evil that I am capable of loving people at all. Those who are not capable of this are either deluded about the nature of the world—about their own purity, or the purity of those they are trying to help—or are, as above, deeply misanthropic pessimists.

There will probably always be grave and unnecessary suffering, committed by human hands. We can and should seek to mitigate it as much as we can, but it will probably always be present. Still I believe that people are worth loving and that the world is worth living in.

the worst part of internet discourse imho is the frequency with which you encounter people who seem to be deeply upset about something you're pretty sure isn't even true. but like you're not sure enough to engage with them, and they don't seem like they'd be particularly receptive to such an argument regardless

and it gives the impression that most people probably carry around a bundle of grievances that aren't even grounded in reality. and they're suffering, but there isn't any way to help them, because they'll contextualize any attempt to clear things up as someone doing the work of the enemy

Taste rating for every Ultrakill enemy (as of posting)

Stray

A preflayed figure, the red sight of meat can be considered enough sustenance in comparison to the rest of this divine comedy. The arm which they use to fire is an absolute delicacy. It lives by self-marination, living a life-long preparation that soaks in flavor while still remaining fresh. It's tender but with a rich texture, in fact their shooting arm could be eaten right off the figure as it's always cooked. The rest of the body does leave a lot to be desired, though you can always prepare them but never to the quality of which the arm has been prepared in. In hindsight, I may have severely underrated its taste, now I know Stray Arms would be one of the finest, if not the finest meal in Hell's Kitchen.

Overall an 8.5 / 10, but the arm is a 9.9/10

Schism

Once again, another meal I've given way too low a rating. My mistake was serving it as a whole, I realized it's much better eaten in chunks. Unlike with strays, the arms come severely overcooked and inedible. The rest are a nice snack but one you would quickly grow tired of. This creature is bloated, burnt, british, and beefy.

It has an interesting texture but it gets really repetitive, better as a snack than a meal. 7.2/10

Malicious Face

This is still just a rock

I think so too 6.4/10

Soldier

Despite being an improved iteration of the stray, it is anything but that in the realm of taste. Not only does its armor make it a pain to prepare. It seems as though the ambassadors of the inferno witnessed the success of the strays. Like a fleeting artist, they held on to a relevant opus. They prepare a bottle yet they fail to catch another lightning as it has long been contained. For you forces, all unoriginal, hear my testament; your capture of this God of lust masquerading as lightning was a fluke. For 73 years you have held another lord in this God-forsaken orb. Because of your faults, you have lost your dreams in more ways than one. Dig your head in the sand and scald your eyes in eternal sleep.

I realized the old me is dead but their thoughts still haunt me through my meals. 5.9 / 10

Gutterman

The first of the newer enemies to be ranked. It's a bit lacking in flavor and has a dreadful and hard to chew feel. You really need to boil it for a while to make it quite tender, it makes it have a similar feel to hippo meat. It even comes with seasoning at the back which when the gutterman is boiled in, it just fills it with flavor. The cooking process actually reminds me of adobo, but instead of soy sauce, you use the gutterman's built-in fluids. I don't know what the thing installed behind the gutterman is made of but goddamn does it have flavor.

Amazing with correct preparation 7.2/10

Minotaur

What can I say, the ~~Minotaur~~ is an actual meal, made of actual beef, at least I think so. It's beef, serve it as steak with varying levels of rarity, I reckon most of us know how to prepare and serve beef.

actual food 9.2/10

Cerberus

It serves you at full force the source of sin, you eat it and all the horrors and all the joys of free will enter your mind. You have gone mad, you have gone insane, you receive once again a new kind of freedom. You asked what it all means and everyone answered, God is dead and it's what God has always wanted. He gave us the tools to kill him and kill him we did. But he asked us not to mourn, but to build once again, a new tower of babel, such that from which had fragmented us, may once again join us in unity. All of us will find ourselves in the garden of Eden, and all of us will once again take an apple. Not from the trickery of a serpent, but rather of our own volition. The devil would have looked at us and smiled but he died happily in the embrace of God. All of humanity took a bite, and God is proud, God is very proud.

Tastes like rocks and apples 5.5/10

Cancerous Rodent

I took the bite with gluttonous intent, and I myself became God, but to be God is a pitiful existence. You alone are the top and you alone are purposeless, yet how lucky am I to have been given a purpose. I alone have been given an entire universe to consume, an impossible task fitting for a being most immortal. But Oh! where do I start, there really is no beginning nor an end, where oh where shall I find the crust of reality.

Fool that you are for thinking your purpose was to consume when you yourself had never felt the pain of hunger. 2.1/10

Drone

I've grown tired of the intolerance to nonexistence, I say I don't exist and they respond: "I perceive you and yet you say I do not! Are my eyes perhaps an illusion? I weep, and I weep to which I perceive, you deny me of my own authority to suffer and my will to frenzy?". And indeed this drone is correct, I have failed to be wise for I now see that I am not nonexistence but its harbinger. The drone dances in joy and yells out, "Yes! give us purpose, give us a constant in this ever-repeating universe, be the one that changes us, we who lack authority borrow from you a uniqueness which alone justifies our useless existence"

Buffoon, you alone are the creator and ender of purpose 4/10

Gabriel

To eat an angel is a procedure most painful and most beautiful, it's an act in defiance of the heavens but the ruler has long since passed. Maybe I am the new ruler, seeing as I was part of the existence that had ended God in the previous reality. In the billions of years I had lived, I have not once wanted to be God, to be a God sounds like the loneliest existence, as they are the one being that is well and truly alone. Maybe that's why God designed such an existence, one which would eventually kill God. A previous soul told me that I'd fall to madness if I ate the flesh of an angel, for even mere sight could tear apart one's mental facilities, but I've lost enough sanity to care. That being said the flesh of a fallen angel is both heavenly and indescribable.

We had a conversation, one which I failed to place importance to in my earlier years. We talked about history, theology, the nature of humanity, and futility. He'd already lost physically and psychologically to a being born with purpose, but his faith remained "for if my faith faltered in a godless world, then I'd have lacked it from the start". We fought and he lost, we both were contempt but only one of us were in peace. It had a bitter aftertaste. 9.3/10

Sisyphean Insurrectionist

As boring in taste as the last time I ate it, still better than most but it's still a forgettable experience. I feel no joy nor sorrow eating it, time simply passed, every chew is as bland as though it were a well-chewed gum. Its time in the desert have blasted it of any bit of flavor, this meal made me doubt purpose for meanings. I feel as though the sand in desert surrounding it would make a more fulfilling meal.

I might as well have just eaten sand 1.3/10

Stalker

It appears I’ve have been mistaken.

For this one I actually did just eat sand 0.5/10

Very Cancerous Rodent

Cancer cells are not a satisfactory meal, in texture it is actually abysmal, hard and soft in the way that confuses your mouth on how to chew. This meal almost made me puke, then I remembered I was eating what was basically a radioactive sewer rat and I actually puked. And oh my god have you seen the internals of a cancer-ridden animal? dreadful, absolutely dreadful. You see hundreds of black tumors where there shouldn't be, some of them pulsate an unappetizing green. And it's slimy, dear god why is it slimy, the creature's own heart is almost melted yet it it continues on beating. Despite this horrendous view, I still tried to eat it, a foolish decision on my part. I took one bite and it tasted metallic, then it burnt my tongue, I instantly spat it out. From that chunk I bit off, there were rudimentary appendages wriggling about, the tumors were growing into their own entities. Then I felt something crawling in my mouth.

The smell is horrible, the taste is horrible, it's all horrible, it's almost like eating a rotting corpse but worse 0.3/10

Leviathan

At this point, I barely had an appetite, the sea beast appeared but I had no joy.

It has a flavor vaguely fish-like 7.8/10

Filth

And I'd like to eat her breasts and know God (there's a star in her eyes)

I'd like to taste her flesh and grow hard (there's a star in her mind)

And I'd like to eat her breasts and grow God (there's a star in her eyes)

And I'd like to suck her breath and blow hot (there's a star in her mind)

These words are not mine 1.5/10

1000-THR "Earthmover"

Every time the baby cries, stick my finger in the baby's eyes, that's what we do with the baby... Who am I to have fallen so far that I sit idly in the realm of redundancy! I've let my purpose dictate my lack of purpose but why should I let a thing such as futility dictate my existence also? I've always existed and have tricked myself into non-existence, I exist as the uniqueness principle and the end which brings purpose to those who needs it. I am the consumer of all and lucky am I to have a purpose. This walking fortress was made to be served to I, and this walking fortress tastes good, it tastes of victory!

Go forth florid creature! Go forth and prove your existence! 7.9/10

1000-THR Defense System

The defense system is soft, very soft, too soft. It's a marshmallow. It has no will, it has no meaning, it is an insult to the concept of defense. It tastes of pop rocks but the presentation of it is more art than the taste. Truly the artist behind it does not see with the tongue but with the eyes

Taste-seers beware 6.3/10

Streetcleaner

Stick-on dribble and cry self served masterpiece cutest of all and most-importantly self-cooking. Serving flame as well as it itself is cutely served in flame. Beep for me in your time of suffering, go on and scream, we will all listen and we will all laugh. Oh! are you served so common. Pleasant and fiery soothes the soul and oh does the Streetcleaner soothe.

Ecstasy in flame through the fiery gun hand. 9.5/10

Swordsmachine

A failed hedonistic retreat, it is a local maximum that had somehow rested in the peak. So unstable does it sit that with slight movement it brings upon a strange cascade. It's a universe in a flavor but a universe chaotic past order. Each bite leaves you with a bitter aftertaste.

Love of excess is love of life but excess is not life alone 3.2/10

Ferrymen

Like eating old rags that had been soaked in dirty water. It's your grandmother as a meal, that's if your grandmother reached past 90. Everything about the ferrymen tastes like still water.

Most likely formed of 78% brain eating amoeba 1.3/10

V2

Glint spinning in its eye, it was neither meal nor being, to me it spun of sassy desperation. But it tasted of defeat, cowardice, and escapism. As a beings of purpose, am I no different than machine. It looked at me and said: "This life, as you live it now and have lived it, you will have to live again and again, times without number; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and all the unspeakably small and great in your life must return to you, and everything in the same series and sequence–and in the same way this spider and this moonlight among the trees, and in the same way this moment and I myself. The eternal hour–glass of existence will be turned again and again–and you with it, you dust of dust!"

You are a god and never did I hear anything more divine! 4.5/10

Corpse of King Minos

I had caught no man, but corpse, and the corpse tastes of unlived lives and cities. A story never made, a city made of corpse but the corpse in which countless have lived. In death, life starts and continues. The Corpse of King Minos tasted of victory, no more shall the buds be of the physical, I of the willed may fall as sick with the thoughts as I would a meal poorly prepared. This corpse has satiated my appetite and in doing so has made me more hungry.

And thus begins the dichotomy of the mind and the mind 7.5/10

Virtue

A life of travesty, this mind is unfit for the non-abstract, through death I may have my simulated prosper. Winged flying sun, so ripe you are, so beautiful you are, having been crisped being the wheels of this corpse in the sky. I love that which is a function of the world, for they have no will of their own. I love that which is of boundless form, for they force the vision to lie. Within a glance those who are hungry are filled, and those who are thirsty are drowned and baptized.

All who witness it are well-fed and cared for 0/10

Flesh Prison

The meal was most delightful. The evangelistic perfection of heaven combines with the infernal and the extremes to grant a flavor like no other. I can see why this is the pride of hell's kitchen. See how it eternally spins and heals, see how purposeful it is, a prison for a soul. It acts by itself, the simplest of minds, so simple as to not comprehend happiness. But so happy am I by the taste, in my mouth and in my mind.

A hold this prison and I shout to the people “Is this to you, not the most perfect creation? Self-sustaining and simple it lives only to be happy. You meaningless many, is this to you your prayer-less god!?” 10/10

Sentry

Rooted so strongly to the Earth, the sentry is but a plant. Eat it raw, eat the bark, and eat the advanced state of the art laser vision. To eat it is to return to a state most primitive, it has a flavor but the food poisons the mind. I vomited, and how happy it has made me, for I know the clashing of realities has created a union so meaningless and beautiful.

There’s a corpse inside me and it has started rotting 2.3/10

Idol

“”, the idol said to me, to which I respond: “That too I fear, not of my own but the one beyond my own. And to ease the me that is not, I say: ‘My words are not my own, rather of the self it wishes it was and through wishing a curse it too shall become. For one afraid of mirrors except for mirrors of the mind‘”.

I descended from the mountains to spend my last days on the ground. But in doing this I feared that I have never ascended to the mountains at all! 3.2/10

Mindflayer

The Mindflayer is a disappointing bundle of plastic, both in taste and in spirit. There are no spots of delight, no best parts, it’s all the same disappointing below-average taste.

But in time I will realize that I never descended from the mountains at all. 4.5/10

Mannequin

It’s a bony meal, the parts of flesh are descent but they are scattered very few throughout it. It’s like eating a crab, but if the crab was almost entirely shell, from one mannequin I only managed to collect around half a bowl of edible flesh. It’s very inefficient but we’re here to talk about taste, not sustainability, and in this aspect, it is sublime.

In fact there has never been anything but mountains, or perhaps just one mountain. In whichever direction I look, I see the same mountain. 8.5/10

Mysterious Druid Knight (& Owl)

Once again I didn’t eat this

Nonetheless I continued walking forwards, I walked and I walked, to see the same trees, the same shrubs, the same forest, the same mountain

Guttertank

The Guttertank fails in all the aspects the Gutterman succeeded in. Their best preparations are the same but the Guttertank is just overall worse in everything except volume. My review of this is short: the Guttertank is the Gutterman but larger, harder to chew, with less flavor, and red.

All the same except for the tracks I leave behind, I see my previous footsteps, the bushes I’ve displaced, the trail of water as I pass through the river. 5.4/10

Puppet

This might sound weird, but puppets are excellent when grilled. I took inspiration from the Philippines, which I remember to excellent blood-flavored food from, that being blood stew, and which I prepared, the aptly named “betamax”. You basically prepare the blood in a series of cubes, refrigerate it, then grill. You can eat it as it is, or you could dip it in a vinegar solution. I would’ve prepared blood stew but puppets don’t really have flesh to be served alongside it. It’s an excellent snack, mild in flavor and a texture reminiscent of tofu.

As I walked and walked, I noticed there was no other beings than me. Not a wild fox, nor birds, nor ants on the ground, nor fishes in the rivers, nor god forbid another person. The trees can be considered as living but they do no more than stand idly their whole lives. 8.3/10

Big Johninator

This is unrankable due to the fact I could not gain possession of his body. Upon defeat he had simply exploded into nothingness.

I ran and I ran, but there was nothing new except from the ones which came from my own actions. It was hopeless, and I was truly alone.

Flesh Panopticon

An improvement over the flesh prison, which itself is already close to perfection. It had more volume and a more serveable shape. Though the taste had a lack of variety, the few it did possess were much more florid. Oh! did it fulfill.

In sheer boredom, I dedicated myself to analyzing and eventually enjoying every minute detail of this forever repeating space. To see the story of each and every bit is enlightening. 10/10

Something Wicked

There was barely anything edible on this, it’s just a walking stick, but not the kind that aids the elderly. It basically tasted like coal, at least a few bites of it was, bugger kept teleporting around with every bite, it was very annoying.

I soon learned the life story of each one. Of all the things that made one special, all absurd and all the same. 0.2/10

Minos Prime

The flesh is hard and brittle yet tastes like meat nonetheless. It’s like some sort of meat flavored candy, it’s a weird feeling but it’s a descent snack. I tried grinding it to a fine powder and drinking it, I really would not recommend this. He who had taken advantage of the loss of God, and used it to build a utopia. Glory to you who eased the pain of many after all had fallen to the abyss.

I plucked every leaf, one by one, from every tree, turned every stone, anything to provide myself a contemporary existence. In doing this, the trees started to die, one by one they fell, in an eternity that felt like a moment. They could not rot for there was nothing to rot them. I sat and waited a while, and I went back up the summit. 6.7/10

Mirage

Read as I’ll ever be, and ready again as I was, over and over. Each world just a little bit less lively than the last. It may not last forever but it’ll last a damn long time. Shame on I as I had not celebrated the feast of existence, shame for me as to be the only being with purpose, but shame on existence for I had never asked for a meaning.

Sisyphus Prime

And through meaning, I became meaningless, but through Sisyphus, I’ve enjoyed my every meal. Every bite is the last to I, the ender of chaos. Through the simplest act, one shared by everything living and non-living. I’d revel in constant sustenance but I fear that bit by bit, I lose my purpose by living it. As for now I’ll enjoy what I can, as I’ll never enjoy it again.

Gabriel, Apostate of Hate

All unreal and all abstract, he who won against life itself. May he have died but through his fight he hath provided an everso painful peace. His corpse has long since been consumed but Gabriel knows what it’s like to be untrue. This is a funeral, not of the physical but of the abstract, all of reality weeps for him but not one soul knows of it, for their souls have long since been killed. We live in this empty meaningless husk of a world, salvation is dead but we are far happier drowning in the oceans of chaos, we drift like worried fire.

V2 (2nd)

The demon had lied, to I, the hindrance of a closed loop. Dying stars with an explosion that was and now never will, each reality plunged in an all consuming meaninglessness. And through nothingness, a return to chaos, for from a mortal God, born an immortal god. In this great sea of blackness, I penetrated through these corridors, and I went through that last segment, where I went through these dark serpentines. In this moment of time, the mind has ended, and I ask “does a universe with nothing to perceive it deserve to even exist?”.

V1

At the end of existence, the feasting has ended and only the aftertaste remained, and the void tastes cold, it tastes very cold.

Did another re-listen of Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven.

The world is beautiful again

My mom getting angry at me out of nowhere then just as casually getting into a joking attitude later has always confused me. Until a few years ago when I realized that emotions like anger are apparently just casually felt by people or atleast some of them.

ooooh how i adore 3d models on 2d pictures im transporting myself there mentally

my biologically 22 year old transgender daughter, turning deep red and trying not to pop a blood vessel: H...HAAAAAAAA......RRRAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!

me, periodically glancing back over my shoulder while doing 110 down the I-95: Come on sweetheart, focus! Kids 6 and under eat free at this place and I know you can age regress 2 more years

the angel chained up in the passenger seat browsing the menu on his phone with his free hand: do u guys think these are like actual buttermilk pancakes or is it just a marketing term

You should to a bakery with tables at night, order a cake saying "happy birthday <your name>".

Go sit at the tables, light the candle, and sing happy birthday to yourself while fake crying.

It makes the staff feel really really bad at you and not even care that you lit a candle indoors.

Afterwards you eat the whole cake by yourself, When someone asks if it's your birthday, drop any sad expression and say "no, just felt like eating cake ᗡ:".

Sorry

y'know for the longest time I thought Toki Pona was the name of the drumming game in Osu!

thats not a fucking question

not including “directly into ao3 text editor” because i think you need help and i refuse to enable your sick and twisted lifestyle

Anthony Machuca · “Forbidden knowledge”

a wikipedia poem on software entropy

It's quite hard to find horror art that scares me, cause it has to overtake the "holy shit that's so cool" part of my brain.

enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to

Okay. Reblog this and tag with a numerical response for how many of these artists you listen to. It’s stereotypical “tumblr user” music.

Lemon Demon

Tally Hall

Death Grips

Jack Stauber

Mr Bungle

King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard

Devo

Oingo Boingo

Aquabats

Weird Al

My Chemical Romance

100gecs

Talking Heads

They Might Be Giants

Mitski

Girl In Red

Did it so I can place the whole thing in a oneliner.

(,) <$> getLine <*> getLine

So I abused this, I wouldn't actually write this in regular code

Ground Miku and Trapinch strolling through the desert

First post! I'll slowly start posting my backlog

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