Okay, So I Have A Bargain

Okay, so I have a bargain

What if instead of putting #infinit war spoilers y’all put #no IW Spoilers so I can read my superfamily in some damn peace

houses going through rebellious high school phases

gryffindo

fights anyone

always wearing merch (tshirts, beanies, wristbands)

interrupts the teacher with dick jokes

skips class to take a train or bus anywhere

redyes hair every second week, bright af colors

multiple lip/ eyebrow piercings

constantly making kms jokes

still listens to my chemical romance and will mug anyone who judges them

splashes water over toilet cubicle walls and giggles

“did you do your homework?” “what homework?”

asks sad people if they’re okay

makes everyone do shots at parties but takes ten years to drink their own

PARTIES.

tries to drag their wallflower ravenclaw friend everywhere

cruisers and beer

aggressive facebook posts

panic at the disco.

hufflypuff

septum piercing

chokers

flannels and chunky boots

“wtf is math”

“why do we even need to know this shit”

glares really hard at slow readers

skips class to smoke weed behind the school

or sleeps with their face attached to the desk

colorful artwork hidden in their artbook

schoolbooks are full of worksheets they’ll never finish 

liked halsey, martinez and matd before they were cool

unironically listens to vaporwave

memelords and queens

emotionally plays piano when no ones around to hear them fuck up bc embarassing but

will totally play for their punkass slytherin friend

drinks with friends over going to parties anyday

clings to a bottle of vodka when they do go to parties

doodles all over their exam papers and likes drawing on the whiteboard

twenty one pilots.

ravencloogle

dark lipstick

lowkey fashionistas but will also show up in trackpants and tshirts with half-did hair

always correcting the teacher or finding ways to humiliate them

cheats on tests bc they spent their prep time writing/ reading gay porn

starts shit with everyone to polish their insulting skills

legitimately terrified of family gatherings

black nail polish

has loud gryff friend that they tolerate bc they’re cute

listens to music when they breathe

their bones are made of musical talent, true fact

reckless driver but still obeys all the laws

took some form of martial arts as a kid so is able whoop ass when ass whooping is needed

super smart in elementary, is now riddled with the anxiety to succeed

possibly skipped a grade and has to deal with their friends making fun of them for being younger

makes out in stairwells

cries in them too

do not approach when mad, aggresive rambling with lots of long words

nirvana.

snyzzerin

pastel/white hair

flower crowns (not real flowers tho)

skips school to go shopping

heLLA CONTOURING SKILLS

professional at cheating on tests

spits on people

“it’s not a phase mom”

drinks alcohol straight. like people are scared of them bc where the fuck did all the whiskey go

smokes

has already been suspended, to juvy and to a mental hospital once or twice

lone wolf but

has a pure af hufflepuff friend that gives them bandaids if they get into a fight

video games

standing up for people who can’t defend themselves

always in the principals office

likes to steal earphones and candy

“well fuck you” “because fuck you” and “fuck you”

the one behind all the really rude nicknames (that everyone uses) for teachers

shit talks a lot but feels bad about it inside

movie soundtracks

🤞🏻🤞🏻

✨💯🅰️🅿️📚✏️📚🅰️🅿️💯✨

emoji spell to do well on all your ap tests. likes charge, reblogs cast

I’m supposed to be studying but then my markers were suddenly in my hand

Rb if you’re Gen z but didn’t eat a tide pod

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired