Fic Authors Deserve More Credit.

Fic authors deserve more credit.

Story time: I started a book about 23 hours ago and just finished it. Also in that time I slept for 10 hours, spent time with family, was at work, etc. Anyway, I enjoyed the book (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda). But it felt like it flew by, so after I finished I looked up the word count because what are pages? Pages are meaningless. I only function in word counts anymore.

The estimate I found was 58,580. My immediate reaction was “oh, that’s why. That’s nothing!” But what a shitty response. Because no. That’s not nothing. That’s a whole. Damn. Book. An entire novel! And Fic authors regularly bust out 30k, 50k, 100k, 150k words. AND THEY DO IT FOR FREE. WHILE WORKING AND LIVING THEIR LIVES.

So anyway, thank your favorite fic author today because they deserve it. Because they’re amazing. They’re the MVPs.

best customers:

Calianna, shy and flies through bookstacks in a day, always takes book recommendations from everyone and love them all (at least she won't ever say anything bad about the others book choices)

Essek, highly pretentious and specific with interests, but secretly adores the book store staff, only really respects Calebs recommendations (and Beaus, even if he won't ever admit it), but he will let himself be talked into buying a romance novel by Jester, bc she can be very persuasive (stubborn)

Kiri, came in one day and hid under one of the shelves for half an hour, Nott literally had to crawl under there herself and scoop her out, she doesn't talk much but they figured out that she always has to wait on a bus to her orphanage after school and other kids are bullying her while she waits, after a short run in with Nott that then is no longer a problem, Kiri still comes to wait in the bookstore after school, she reads a few kids books and becomes very interested in some old books with pictures of weapons and crime scene photos, she also klimbs around a lot and chases Frumpkin, she is adored by everyone and soon learns a lot of creative swearwords from the crew, much to the despair of the Shuster family that just fostered her...

The Mighty Nein As Bookstore Employees

Beau: Floor staff. Generally looks kinda disgruntled and confrontational. Can be heard muttering angrily under her breath about customers being the fucking worst at any given point in the day. Shelves the History, Religion, and Politics sections of the store. Will actually get super animated and friendly with you if you ask for recommendations on any of the aforementioned subjects (especially if you’re a cute lady). In a semi-serious ongoing feud with Caleb over which books should be faced out in the Philosophy section.

Caduceus: Works down in the basement managing stock and taking in shipments of books. Very chill and laid back. May be a stoner; no one is quite sure. Doesn’t actually seem to read that much? But he gives great recommendations for books on gardening and children’s picture books (especially if they’re about gardening). All of the books he buys seem to be about death and/or fungus. He calls it his “death library.” (Jester got him a giant coffee table-style book on tea for the holidays one year. It takes pride of place on his small shelf at home.)

Caleb: No one is quite sure how long Caleb has worked at the bookstore. Rumor has it he just grew as a fully formed bookseller a few decades ago and has remained ever since. Regardless, he has only ever been a bookseller and has never displayed any interest in taking on a managerial role. Is apt to overhear a customer ask for a book, disappear into the stacks, and return a minute later with said book in his hands. All of this is done wordlessly. Shelves the Classics, Mythology, and Philosophy sections of the store. Will never shut up if you ask him for a recommendation. His face-outs are correct. Frumpkin is the bookstore cat.

Fjord: Floor supervisor. Ostensibly the Responsible One, and is generally in charge of making sure a shift proceeds without too much shenaniganry. Inevitably gets pulled into the other booksellers’ shenanigranry. He’s good with customers, and can talk down even the most unreasonable jackass. Mostly takes care of the maintaining the New Arrivals displays, but also keeps an obsessive eye on the small sailing section he fought for. Not the most comfortable giving recommendations, but generally has a good list of memoirs, travel literature, and hobby guides to suggest to people.

Jester: Started working at the bookstore right after leaving undergrad, because she “needs some real world experience, you know?” Is the most outgoing and gregarious with customers; has never had a conversation shorter than five minutes (including at the register). Shelves the Graphic Novels, Art, Erotica/Romance, and Cookbook sections. (If you look at the cookbook section you will notice that only the Baking section is ever actually in any coherent order.) If you ask her for a recommendation you may find yourself having to stop her from reading an entire book aloud to you in the store. Is very good in a crisis, and after Fjord is one of the best at ameliorating irate customers. 

Molly: Works in Marketing. For some reason people thought it was a good idea to give him control organizing events. What he lacks in sense and actual charm he makes up for with surprisingly good graphic design (it shouldn’t work, but somehow it does). Worked in the Used Department for a small dint, but he was always more interested in the pictures and weird shit he found left behind in boxes and books than he was in anything else. Doesn’t technically have any sections assigned for him to take care of, but he’s the only person who cares about keeping the New Age section looking nice, so he does.

Nott: Relatively new hire, but whenever someone remembers that they get legitimately shocked because she picked up almost everything within the first week. Whenever she goes to shelve she always carries stacks nearly as tall as she is. Has yet to drop a single one. Once threatened to murder a shoplifter. Shelves all of the various Science/Math sections. Will start yelling if people assume that “booksellers are bad at math.”* Doesn’t shelve the kids’ section but always has board books to recommend (right now her top picks are Baby Loves Quarks, and Organic Chemistry for Babies**). 

Yasha: Also floor staff. Shy and soft-spoken. Often gets flustered around customers, but knows her way around the store very well and is always lending a helping hand to her coworkers. On rare occasions will miss a shift without warning or explanation; Beau and Jester usually cover for her.  Can reach the shelves in overstock without using one of the ladders. (The first time she did this Beau nearly fainted.) Shelves the Nature section, as well as Essays, and Fiction. She doesn’t read as much as some of the other staff, but she is very good at picking out customers who are perfectly suited for her favorite titles. Will spend an hour talking about her favorite books while gently assuring someone why one is Exactly The Right Fit for them. Customers walk away feeling like they’ve been gently lead down a quiet path in the forest. 

*most booksellers are bad at math, though

**Yes, those are both real books

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process.

He helped me with his music and his words.

IDK man, I’d say you’ve saved tons of lives and that’s what a hero does so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is probably one of my absolute favourite pieces of fanart ever!

Some fan art of the amazing online show of Critical Role where professional, yet nerdy voice-actors play Dungeons and Dragons! :)

Okay Marisha in the Call of the Cthulhu oneshot can get it