MOVIE REVIEW: SALTBURN

MOVIE REVIEW: SALTBURN

Genres: dark comedy; psychological thriller; drama.

Director: Emerald Fennell

Starring: Barry Keoghan, Jacob Elordi, Rosamund Pike, Acrhie Madekwe, Alison Oliver, Carey Mulligan, Richard E. Grant.

*Wow. Just wow.

* I loved how everything I thought I knew about the movie got debunked. Sure, I was aware of the characters and the general premise, but the eventual occurrences caught me completely off guard.

*It was perfectly paced from start to finish; not too slow that it seems stagnant and not too fast that it’s impossible to keep up. Everything unfolds and flows together seamlessly.

*Although I mentioned the genres this movie falls into, in reality it surpasses genre allocation because of how quickly things switch up and occur; and that’s part of what makes it so special.

*The casting was absolute perfection. Everyone executed their roles perfectly and so naturally it seemed hauntingly real. I’ll never look at Barry Keoghan the same way again, that’s for sure, and Archie Madekwe, who I previously only knew from Midsommar is a new favorite of mine. Jacob Elordi and Rosamund Pike were also utterly amazing.

*The set design, costuming and cinematography were incredibly immersive. It is rare to see modern films with timelines set in the early 2000s, so this was rather refreshing, and I was blown away by the representation it gave the year 2006. There were also several stunning scenes worthy of at least a Best Cinematography nomination.

*The foreshadowing and imagery in the movie were pure brilliance. For example, in the scene where Venetia talks about doppelgangers, Felix’s own doppelganger passes by the window, foreshadowing his unfortunate death. Also, Oliver is playfully described as a 'vampire’ and his actions in the movie prove this to be metaphorically true.

*This movie might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it does bring several topics to light, including those of obsession, privilege politics, desire, family dynamics, manipulation, etc. The lesson I personally drew from it is not everyone is to be trusted.

*Emerald Fennell really delivered a complex, gutsy masterpiece with this one. This is the sort of film people will talk about for years to come; either for its unabashed, almost controversial nature or its brilliant and compelling storyline, or even both. Needless to say, Saltburn is one movie you won’t soon forget.

Overall rating: 8/10

Have you watched Saltburn?

Jacob Nathaniel Elordi.

that's it.

that's the post.

I'm just a girl *proceeds to manically do everything at the very last minute*

Happy new year, fellow Tumblerds❤

RISE OF RED: A TALE OF HEADS AND HEARTS

(Descendants: Rise of Red Fanfiction/Re-imagining)

Chapter 4

“Where is that insolent girl?” the Queen of Hearts roared.

Tarrant stood quietly with Maddox, who still had evidence of his brief makeout session with Red on his neck.

“You’ve got a little something there, son,” Tarrant whispered.

“And do you have a problem with that, Dad? I’ve seen worse on you.”

“Touché.”

“You!” the Queen snapped, pointing at one of the guards standing outside with them. “Go get Princess Red down here now!”

“That won’t be necessary,” came Red’s voice as she stood in the doorway.

The Queen squinted in anger.

“What are you wearing? And what the hell did you do to your hair?”

Red smiled, running a hand through her locks.

“You like?”

“You look stupid.”

Red rolled her eyes as her mother turned round and began walking to the car.

She caught sight of Maddox who was scanning her from head to toe, surprised but ultimately attracted to her new look.

Red had cut up two different jackets and stitched them together to form a new one, which she wore on top of a black top with a red heart in the middle and black leather pants with red sides that hugged her legs perfectly and she had cut bangs and layers into her hair, and added some black to it.

Her makeup was dark and smudgy, matching her outfit and giving her an elevated, sultry look that was different from her usual style.

“Wow, Princess,” Maddox said, coming over to meet her. “You look enchanting.”

Red smiled. “Why, thank you. I really hope all this hides the fact that I’m more scared than a cake troll on his unbirthday.”

“There’s nothing to hide Princess; you’ll do great.”

He bowed before her slightly, taking her hand and planting a kiss on it, making Red’s head swim with sensations.

“I got you something,” Maddox whispered as he stood straight, Red’s flustered expression making him smirk.

He pressed something rectangular into the hand he held and Red looked down, only to see a phone.

“I know Her Majesty never let you have one, but I figured since you’re headed somewhere new without your special mirror, you could use this. I’ve already saved my number and installed a bunch of hacks and stuff; it’s good to go.”

“Maddox, I-“

“RED! IF YOU’RE NOT IN THIS CAR RIGHT NOW, SO HELP ME!”

“Go on, Princess. We’ll talk later.”

He winked at her and walked back to his dad, as Red stuffed the phone in the bag slung on her shoulder, sprinting down the stairs and into the car where her mother was sitting down cross-legged on one of the elaborately upholstered couches, absent-mindedly shuffling a deck of playing cards.

In true Wonderlandian style, the car looked normal on the outside, but was the size of a studio apartment on the inside.

Red sat opposite her mother and the driver started moving.

“Um, mum, do we even know the way to Auradon Prep?”

The Queen gave her a snide glance. “Your enchanted invitation card serves as a GPS for the driver and grants us entrance into the school. Do try and keep up.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She turned to face the window and Red did the same, watching the huge Wonderland castle disappear as the car picked up speed.

They were approaching what seemed to be a dense forest and Red frowned in suspicion.

Her suspicion turned into fear when she saw a hole open up directly in front of the huge tree they were barreling towards.

“Mum! What’s that?” she cried in alarm.

This time the Queen groaned and glared at her daughter in frustration.

“Are you really this stupid, Redwina? You’re the Princess of Wonderland and you don’t know a rabbit hole looks like?”

Red’s face rivaled her name in colour as she shrunk into herself with embarrassment.

Of course; a rabbit hole. They were the entrances and exits to and from Wonderland, but fear curbed her tongue from admitting to her mother that she had never actually seen one because she had never had the opportunity to leave the kingdom, as they were basically locked.

She sat back and watched as the hole grew bigger and bigger till it was able to accommodate the car.

Once it was car-sized, they went through and Red saw darkness and swirls of undecipherable colours for the few seconds it took for them to get to Auradon.

Immediately the car starting moving on the Auradonian road, Red was struck by the stark difference between the general colour scheme and athmosphere of this new kingdom and the one she had called home her whole life.

While Wonderland was all rich, vibrant tones and deep, saturated hues, Auradon was all light pastels and bright, airy flushes of colour.

Red looked in amazement at the clean stretch of road in front of them, as well as the perfect, bright green trees on either side of it, which matching bushes and pretty little flowers that didn’t seem alive in the slightest.

They drove for a while before stopping in front of a very tall set of gleaming gold gates, surrounded by guards in crisp blue and gold uniforms.

The driver rolled down his window and held out her invitation letter to one of the guards who took it, scanned it over with a device and gave a hand signal, causing the gates to roll open.

The car began moving on a cobbled path that lead to the driveway directly in front of the castle that held the school’s main building.

The place was packed with parents, students and staff, bustling about and buzzing with the excitement of resumption day.

The car came to a stop and the doors were opened by footmen who helped the Queen and Red come down.

Red gasped as she got a full look at everything.

The castle was huge and imposing, made of grey stone that was clearly weathered, a testament to the decades it had been in existence. Right in the middle of the grounds in front of the cast was a statue of  King Adam, the former leader of Auradon. Around his statue was a circular bush arrangement with flowers, and there were similar arrangements on either side, forming wide walkways that lead to the open door.

Everything was decorated with blue and gold ribbons, drapes and balloons, and there was a large banner hanging over the door that read: “Welcome to Auradon Prep.”

Red turned to look at her mother who had even stormier expression on her face than before, if that was even possible.

That was when she noticed the stares and side glances being thrown their way, coupled with not so subtle whispers.

Before she could make sense of that, a girl with glasses and a clipboard approached them, visibly shaking despite the friendly smile on her face.

“U-um..welcome, Your Majesty,” she said, head down to avoid eye contact with the Queen, who ignored her like she wasn’t even there.

Red smirked at that. There were times when her mother’s nasty attitude was funny, especially when it wasn’t being directed at her.

“And w-welcome Princess Red. We’re pleased to have you.”

Her sugary sweet tone made Red cringe and roll her eyes. “Whatever, thanks.”

“I’m Dizzy, and-“

“-Sit down then?”

Dizzy adjusted her glasses with a nervous giggle, almost dropping her clipboard in the process. “Uh, no, m-my name is Dizzy, it’s short for Dizzerée, my mum’s name is Drizella and-“

“-Okay, I really don’t care.”

“Right, yes. So I’m here to assist you since this is your first time in Auradon. Welcome, again. Just follow me and I’ll get you started.”

As Dizzy finished her statement, the Queen started walking away.

“Your Majesty, if you could hold on…oh dear.”

Red laughed as Dizzy attempted to catch up with her, and followed behind them at her own pace.

She had almost caught up with them when she bumped into someone and came crashing down on the ground.

“What the-?”

“I am terribly sorry!”

Red looked up, rubbing her sore elbow as her eyes settled on the culprit, who was very, very good looking.

“Here let me help you up,” he said, his voice deep and musical.

He got up in a squat position and extended his hands to Red who squinted at him in annoyance and suspicion.

“I mean, I got you on the ground, the least I can do is get you back on your feet again.”

Red pushed herself off of the ground and onto her feet, dusting her hands off on her trousers.

He stood up as well, towering over her.

She looked at him, still suspicious. He was really tall, built like an athlete and his brown skin glowed, complimented by his bright hazel-coloured eyes that crinkled as he offered her an apologetic smile.

“I’m really sorry, Miss…”

“Red.”

“I’m sorry, Red. I hope you’re not hurt or anything.”

She folded her arms. “I’ll live.”

“My name’s Amir, by the way. I’m a student here…though I think that’s kinda obvious.”

“I also happen to be a student here…I think. I just got here.”

“Oh, that’s great. Where’d you come in from?”

“Wonderland.”

Amir gave a low whistle. “Wow. I’ve never met anyone from Wonderland before. Are they all as cool as you?”

“Well, I am their Princess, so definitely not.” Red smiled a little, finally warming up to Amir as he laughed at her joke.

“Princess Red?” Dizzy called out from ahead, waving her clipboard.

“I gotta go,” Red said with a sigh.

“I’ll see you around then, Red. It was nice bumping into you.”

Amir did a little cordial bow as Red turned to catch up with Dizzy and her mum.

“Where were you?” the Queen asked sharply.

Red opened her mouth to speak, but was dismissed by a wave of her mum’s hand.

“Doesn’t matter, we’re here now; let’s get you signed in.”

“Okay?”

She was once again surprised at her mother’s passive aggressive enthusiasm.

They got in line behind another girl and her mother who were almost done.

“Great! Chloe this is your dorm key and your student pass. You’ll be given every other thing you need during the general orientation tomorrow,” the pretty dark-skinned girl with colourful braids and makeup behind the table said, a friendly yet very bored expression on her face.

“Thank you dear,” the woman accompanying her daughter said before she turned around.

On sighting the Queen of Hearts, she gasped and grabbed her daughter’s arm.

“Mum?” Chloe asked in concern, following her mother’s line of vision which was fixed on Red and the Queen of Hearts.

“Bridget?” Queen Cinderella’s was quiet but quite audible and The Queen of Hearts paused immediately.

“Ella?”

“Oh, mon Dieu, it is you! Bridget, I-“

“-It’s The Queen of Hearts, now. You understand, right, Mrs. Charming?”

Queen Cinderella’s face fell in sadness. “Come on, Bri- Your Majesty- you don’t have to be like this.”

“Like what?” The Queen of Hearts retorted stunning Queen Cinderella into silence.

Chloe shifted to meet Red who was watching the interaction between the two queens.

“Um, hi, I’m Chloe,” she whispered.

Red eyed her, scoffed and pushed past her.

“Come on, Mum.”

She held on to mother’s arm and turned her round to face Celia,  effectively ending the conversation.

The Queen snatched her arm out of Red’s, trying to hide her flusteredness with anger.

Celia coughed awkwardly and shuffled some papers, presenting them to Red.

“You can start filling these out, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

********************************************************

Queen Cinderella turned round, embarrassed. “Come on, Chloe.”

“You can head up to the Courtyard to wait for the Welcome Ceremony,” Dizzy said. “I’ll meet up with you later Chloe, okay?”

“See ya, Dizzy.”

“I need to sit down,” the Queen said, walking towards a nearby bench and balancing elegantly on it.

Chloe sat on the bench too, facing her.

“Maman, c’était quoi?(Mummy, what was that?).”

“Ça fait rien, bébé(It’s nothing, baby).”

“C’était pas rien! Qui était cette femme? Pourquoi elle t’a aggressée comme ça? Et sa fille, elle faisait la même chose?(It’s not nothing! Who was that woman? Why did she speak to you like that? And her daughter; why was she acting like that?).”

Queen Cinderella sighed, shaking her head. “C’est trop compliqué pour expliquer(It’s too complicated to explain).”

“There’s still some time; I’ll take the short version for now.”

For the first time ever, Chloe was witnessing her mother in a state of nervousness unknown to anyone she’d ever met, and it scared her.

”Well, Bridget- The Queen of Hearts- and I attended this school together, way back when all the Kingdoms were still divided and it was called Merlin Academy, a school that allowed all who came to attend it, despite still being one of the most prestigious in the world at the time. I was there with my step-sisters and she was there with her older sister, Princess Mirana. She was sweet and super nice to everyone and she became popular quickly; I was honoured to be her friend. But, not everyone liked her. And she was pranked…cruelly.

“It shattered her; she was never the same. She only attended half a semester after that before running away with her boyfriend. I tried reaching out to her, but I was also caught up with my relationship with your father. I mean, we were planning to get married after school, and as soon as we passed that milestone, we had your brother. Last I heard was that she had received the crown of Wonderland, not her sister, and that she had become an even worse dictator than their father. I didn’t even know she had a child.”

“So all that happened because of a prank?”

“It wasn’t just any old prank, my love. It was…torture.”

“Torture that turned her into a tyrant….figures.”

“I wish I’d tried harder to get to her. Maybe helped her? I don’t know.”

“Mum, it’s not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for what happened in her life or how she chose to act because of it.”

The Queen sighed again, looking down at her sparkly shoes.

“I guess you’re right. It’s probably too late to even want to do anything, anyway. Time is cruel in that manner.”

Chloe stood up, shook her curls out of her face and held her mother's hand. “Let’s get to the Courtyard. Aunt Faye might be there already, that’ll cheer you up.”

Queen Cinderella smiled at her daughter. “It will.” She stood too and smoothed out her gown. “Let’s go.”

***********************************************************************

"So you went to Auradon Prep with that lady?” Red questioned her mother, who was equal parts angry and flustered as they headed to the Courtyard.

“No, I went to Merlin Academy with her. That was what it was called before Adam came in and decided he wanted to lord it over everybody. I still don’t know how everyone just stood aside and let do all of this. Crushing all the kingdoms of the world into a singular authority, and casting out all the villains to a wretched island across the sea from his territory.”

“What of Wonderland? Why aren’t we part of the United States of Auradon? The Hatter wouldn’t teach me; he said you’d tell me everything when the time was right.”

The Queen pursed her lips and clenched the cards in her hands.

“What I will tell you now is that my father refused Adam’s silly offer outright. He wasn’t going to let some half-baked animal of a King tell him what to do. And since Adam had no proof of villainry in our lands, he couldn’t cast us all to the Isle. He just barricaded all the rabbit holes.”

"Wait...King Adam did that? I thought that was you."

"Nope, that was all him. He couldn't lock us up so he locked us in."

Red shivered, wondering how they must’ve hidden the evidence of some of the real things that went on in Wonderland, like the White Rabbit Gang and their crimes, the constant flow of drugs and hallucinogens in the markets and of course the yearly killing spree her mother embarked on which claimed not less than a hundred live each year, not to mention all the casual killings that happened every other day.

She had grown up seeing those things as normal, but knowing deep down that they weren’t right in the slightest. If King Adam had found out back then, they would have been put somewhere much much worse than an island of delinquents.

“But why’d you have it out for the lady? She seemed nice enough. Her daughter was an annoying piece of work, though.”

“Ella is one of the people I knew while I went here. They were all awful, awful nasty creatures who posed as the beloved monarchs and respectables of the world. But she didn’t pose in the same way they did. No, she took on the act of the poor little step-sister who was being treated poorly by her family, and I was there for her every step of the way. But when I needed her, where was she? Off with the prince that her damsel in distress act had won for her.”

They were in the Courtyard now, which was gradually filling up with students and their parents, people from all kingdoms and walks of life.

Red spotted the lady, Ella, and her daughter. It was almost impossible not to, with the shiny blonde hair and beautiful gown she wore, as well as the fact that everybody seemed to be going up to greet her.

The Queen of Hearts took a seat on the side opposite from them, and Red sat beside her.

They were near the front and she observed their surroundings, noting even more blue and gold decorations and a sort of stage set-up in front of them, as well tables on each side laden with fancy snacks and drinks.

“Mum, if the people here are so terrible, why’d you bring me?’

Her mother gave her a side glance and a small smile. “You’ll see in quite a bit, daughter dear.”

The uncomfortable feeling that had been festering in Red’s chest became stronger and she gulped.

Before she could say anything else, a pretty, petite woman in a dark blue gown with puffy bow-like sleeves and a sequined belt came up on the stage.

“Good afternoon everyone,” she said into the mic. “Oh, it’s such a pleasure to see you all. Do come in, grab a snack and get seated, we shall be starting this Welcome Ceremony in just a minute.”

The Queen of Hearts scoffed, her expression clouding over again as she glared at the new lady on stage.

“Who’s she?” Red had to ask.

“Fairy Godmother. Another piece of Auradonian scum.”

Red watched as the Fairy Godmother left the stage and immediately went to that Ella woman and her daughter. They hugged and laughed like family.

For a split second, Red wanted to imagine herself and her mum in their position; laughing, smiling, seemingly adored by everyone around.

But that would never be the case: even in their own kingdom people hated her mother, and her by extension.

She turned her head to get a glance of the other people filling up the seats and caught sight of Amir. He was talking to a beautiful woman with long, shiny black hair who was decked out in jewelry and wearing an opulently bedazzled blue sari and had the same perfect brown skin as him, as well a bearded man who had the same hazel eyes and dashing good looks, albeit his being more rugged. He laughed at something the man said and in the process saw Red looking at him. He smiled at her and the girl responded by internally shrieking and whipping round with speed.

Beside her, the Queen was still playing about with her cards, shuffling them between her hands and performing a few tricks.

That stirred up a memory in Red, of how her mother had taught her to flip and shuffle cards when she was younger. Cardistry was an art form well recognized throughout Wonderland and her mother had wanted her to be exceptional at it, leading to many teaching sessions that were quite fun to young Red and a somewhat compensation for all the instances that they didn’t spend time together. Unfortunately, Red picked up the skill too quickly and mastered too exceptionally that there was nothing more for the Queen to teach her, and that lead to the end of their sessions. What she would give to spend hours flipping cards with her again.

Suddenly the stage lights came on and a fog machine started blowing, immediately changing the vibe of the Courtyard.

A song started playing on the sound system as people who Red recognized as pirates came in dancing from all sides and corners.

The crowd gasped in surprise and awe as they performed their tricks and stunts, but Red and her mother were unimpressed.

This was like a typical entrance in Wonderland, nothing to get excited about.

After all the pirates had made their way to the front, Fairy Godmother got back up on the stage, taking hold of the mic again, but this time she had her magic wand, an equisitely designed instrument, with her.

“Auradon Prep, it has been my greatest pleasure serving you all these years, but times are changing and we must change with them. And so it is with immense joy that I announce and welcome your new Principal, Uma of the Isle!”

Applause and cheers began as the young woman strutted down from the entrance to the stage a smile on her face the whole time.

Red watched as she got on the stage and waved at everyone.

She was gorgeous, with deep brown skin that went with her long sister-locs that were a combination of blues, greens, silvers and black and matched her pirate style outfit; an aqua blue leather vest atop a scale designed top and leather flared pants of the same colour, with net-like tassles draped all over. Her black hat and boots had starfish accents on them and her jewelry was made of seashells with a stunning holographic colour effect.

If this was going to be her Principal, maybe life here wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Maybe this was why her mum wanted her here.

Uma looked out at the cheering crowd of students and parents and smiled.

A couple years ago, these people had all been deathly afraid of her and her crew of pirates, but now Harry was in charge of the Auradonian Sea Charter, Gil ran a gym and played for the tourney team at AU, and here she was, Principal of a school she had once vowed to tear down.

“Good afternoon, Auradon Prep! And welcome to a new era, an era of change- just like Fairy G graciously said –and acceptance. I never went to Auradon Prep, but I know the importance of looking past people’s faults and flaws. Which is why my first act as Principal was to invite a new kingdom to school here. We’re starting with one student now but in time, everyone who wants to come here will be able to.”

Red tried to stop the smile spreading on her face, but couldn’t. She was experiencing a happiness she hadn’t felt in a long time.

But that happiness was short lived.

Her mother’s card shuffling was making quite a bit of noise and Uma noticed it.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Uma called out directly to The Queen of Hearts. “Do you mind?”

Red glanced at her mother franctically, fear building within her.

The Queen had a snide smile on her face, her reddish-brown eyes lit with ill intent.

It was a look Red knew well and that tripled the anxiety she felt.

“I do mind, actually,” she said, looking Uma dead in the eye as she shuffled her cards even more, performing elaborate tricks.

“Mum, what are you doing?” Red asked in worried concern as her mother slowly rose to her feet.

“Why, I’m playing my favourite game of course…”

She threw her cards in the air in a circular motion, caught them and then threw them again, this time giving a loud cry as they took to the air.

“WAR!”

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust" girl, you've got asthma.