Movie Review - Tumblr Posts
8. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Emma (1996)
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: PG
Director: Douglas McGrath
Starring: Gwyneth Paltrow, Toni Collette
Synopsis: "Emma" is a movie based on the Jane Austen novel of the same name. It boasts a large cast of talented and recognizable actors. Several of them will go on to work with Ewan again in future projects. The movie is about Emma Woodhouse, a young socialite. Although she is an available bachelorette, she enjoys secretly matchmaking couples in her town instead of finding love for herself. She believes greatly in her matchmaking skills, though her pride and naivety cause her to fumble more often than not. When Emma befriends Harriet Smith, a debutante with unknown family heritage, she makes it her mission to find her new friend a fitting husband. Instead, she finds herself more trouble than she knows what to do with.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Frank Churchill. Frank is the stepson of Emma's friend and former governess, Mrs. Weston. He is a charming young man who thrives on being the center of attention. When he arrives in town to visit his father, the townswomen immediately become enamored with the handsome bachelor. Even Emma, who previously thought she was not interested in marriage, can't help being swept off her feet by the gentlemen's advances. Ewan wears a wig in this role I believe because his hair would still be short from filming "Trainspotting." It's not a bad wig but there were some moments where I had to squint and say "yeah, I don't think that's his hair" lol. He uses an English accent for this role and honestly, it doesn't sound very good. He's done English accents before but this one just doesn't sound natural, especially compared to his co-stars. He sings twice in the movie! He performs two duets and the first one always makes me laugh because of how he randomly jumps in. He's also in a dance scene which was really fun. As far as his performance, it's nothing special in my opinion. Again, maybe it's because he was surrounded by a large cast of talented actors, but he didn't seem to shine like he normally does. Or maybe he was tired from filming four movies back to back and the fatigue had begun to set in. Luckily, since his character is a minor one, it doesn't really matter and I still had a good time watching him.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 13/121 minutes making his SP 11%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? My opinion is no. He's a fun perk that you get with the movie but I wouldn't turn it on just to see him. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes! It's fun. It's cute. It has a happy ending for everyone. It even won two Oscars for best movie score and costume design. It's a calm, low stimulating movie that's still entertaining.
Where to Watch: "Emma" is currently available for rent on YouTube and can be streamed on Amazon Prime Video if you have a subscription.
Conclusion: If you like period pieces then I think you'd like "Emma". It's a beautiful movie and a nice change of pace from the overstimulating movies of today.
9. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Brassed Off (1996)
We made it to our last movie of 1996 and boy, is it a good one!
Some fun facts before we begin!
Pete Gunn has a minor role in the movie as the character Simmo. You might remember that he worked alongside Ewan in the movie "Blue Juice"!
While the movie takes place in the village Grimley, the story is actually inspired by the mining village Grimethorpe whose pit was closed just three years before the movie released.
The Grimethorpe Colliery Band performed all the band numbers in the movie.
Ewan's character plays a tenor horn in the band. I think it's a fun fact because when Ewan was a teenager, he played the French horn!
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: R
Director: Mark Herman
Starring: Pete Postlethwaite, Tara Fitzgerald, Ewan McGregor
Synopsis: "Brassed Off" is about the 1980s pit closures in the United Kingdom. It takes place in Grimley, a coal mining village, that is next on the chopping block to have it's colliery shut down. The village is also home to the Grimley Colliery Band which has existed for 100 years and the characters are all part of. But with the possibility of the pit closing comes the possibility of the end of the band for good. Band leader Danny (Pete Postlethwaite) challenges the men to fight one last time to win the National Brass Band Competition in London. When Gloria (Tara Fitzgerald), a former resident of Grimley, makes a surprise return to the village, she joins the band and sets out to bring hope to the weary miners.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Andy Barrows, a coal miner and member of the local band. Andy is initially excited to be reunited with Gloria as the two had a former romance. However, when he learns why Gloria has been keeping her return a secret, he becomes unsure whether he can trust her or if they were ever meant to be. Ewan wears an earring in this role and speaks with a Yorkshire accent. His character is broody so expect a lot of scowls which is a change of pace from his many smiley characters. He has an implied sex scene and a makeout scene. His acting, along with the rest of the cast, gets an A+ from me!
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 26/107 minutes making his SP 24%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? No. He already doesn't have much to do in this movie and he's part of an ensemble cast so the story is spread out over several different characters. Honestly, I found myself more interested in other storylines than his. He's good when he's on screen and is nice to look at but this just isn't a Ewan content heavy role. Is the movie worth watching in general? Absolutely! This movie has an amazing story, the actors have great chemistry, the music is phenomenal, and you get to learn in an intimate way about an important time in history. I can tell you that before watching this movie I didn't know anything about the miner strikes or pit closures. Now, I'm reading up on the history!
Warning before watching: There is a suicide attempt scene.
Where to Watch: "Brassed Off" is available for rent on YouTube, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. You can also watch it for free on soap2day.
Closing Thoughts: This movie so creatively weaves together a story of anger, depression, and hope. The characters are fleshed out and feel real. You hurt for their plight and root for their fight. The movie has a bittersweet ending. I applaud the director, Mark Herman, for sharing with the world the harm done to the miners of the U.K. and their perseverance through it all.
10. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nightwatch (1997)
New year, new movies! In 1997, Ewan starred in three movies and all of them had some pretty bizarre plots lol. Let's start at the beginning with "Nightwatch"!
Genre: Horror/Mystery
Rating: R
Director: Ole Bornedal
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Nick Nolte, Josh Brolin
Synopsis: "Nightwatch" follows Martin Bells, a college student, who takes a job as the new night watchman at a morgue at the same time a serial rapist/murderer is on the loose. As the police hunt for the criminal, and more evidence is brought to light, Martin comes to the terrifying realization that he is their prime suspect!
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the main character Martin Bells. Martin is in college as a law student and is best friends with a mean, sexist, and inconsiderate (the list could go on) prick. Ewan has a female love interest and they have a couple kissing scenes as well as a really tender moment early in the movie. He speaks with an American English accent which isn't too shabby except when he gets scared and then he pretty much drops it lol. Speaking of scared, he spends a lot of the movie screaming, and crying. He has a bathing scene with no real nudity but if you pause at just the right time it's possible to see his package from afar. He also gets a public handjob, beat up, bit, and bound. In other words, you get a slew of very weak, vulnerable, and submissive Ewan content.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 52/102 minutes making his SP 51%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content? Yes. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes. Caveat: if you wish to be entertained then the movie will entertain you. But it espouses such harmful views of women that you might not be able to look past it and enjoy the story.
Warning before Watching: there is a violent murder within the first 3 minutes of the movie and another towards the end. There are close ups of mutilated, naked, dead bodies and lots and lots of blood. The movie is also incredibly sexist and revels in cruelty against women.
Where to Watch: You can stream the movie for free on Pluto TV or soap2day. It's available for rent on YouTube, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies, and Fandango at Home.
Closing Thoughts: This movie is in the horror genre seemingly because of the gore and suspense. The true horror of this film is the misogyny and general treatment of women. I was more disturbed and disgusted by the way the male characters interacted with the female characters. Mind you, this movie is not a cautionary tale. It is not about the pitfalls of sexism. The male characters do not receive comeuppance for their behavior. It is treated as natural. It is celebrated. We are to understand and sympathize with these chauvinists. We are to find humor in their hatred and charm in their cruelty. The funny thing is, you could (and I did) read a homoerotic subtext within the relationship of the two male best friends because they truly only love each other while their female love interests are just an afterthought. This movie is gross for all the wrong reasons and I will not be watching it again.
11. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: The Serpent's Kiss (1997)
Fun Fact! If you're a fan of the "Long Way" motorcycle series with Ewan and his best friend Charlie Boorman, then you'll be pleased to know that their friendship began on this movie! Charlie has a minor role in the film as a secretary. He and Ewan met while filming and bonded over their love of motorcycles. The rest is history!
Genre: Drama/Romance
Rating: R
Director: Philippe Rousselot
Starring: Pete Postlethwaite, Greta Scacchi, Carmen Chaplin, Ewan McGregor
Synopsis: "The Serpent's Kiss" is about the Smithers family. Mr. Smithers wants to give his wife the gift of a garden so he hires a top-notch landscaper that his in-law recommends to him. Mrs. Smithers isn't very interested in the garden but prefers games and tricks. Specifically those she can play on people. Their daughter, Ann/Thea, is a peculiar girl. She reads far too much and gets along better with nature than people. While her mother indulges her, her father worries for her health and hires a physician to "cure" her or her abnormalities. Once the young landscaper arrives, it becomes evident that he is not just there to build a garden, but to use his expertise to exact revenge for his secret employer.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Meneer Chrome who is a famed Dutch landscaper. He takes a job in England with the goal of transforming the overgrown lawn of the Smithers family into a one-of-a-kind, modern, garden. As he works on the project, he becomes interested in his boss's eccentric daughter while her mother becomes interested in him. Ewan speaks in a Dutch and English accent for this role but mainly Dutch. I'm not familiar with Dutch accents but I'm going to be bold and say that his was terrible. It annoyed the crap out of me! I couldn't take it seriously, it was forced, and completely took me out of the movie every time he opened his mouth. I would've enjoyed this movie a lot more if he didn't have to use that god awful accent. He has a female love interest and two kiss scenes. One is with a man and the other is with a woman . He also does some flirting with his boss's wife. There's an implied sex scene and implied nudity. You do get to briefly see him shirtless though. He wears a wig and you also get to see the worst haircut he has ever had in a movie to date. His performance isn't very good. There were a couple moments where it felt like I was listening to him recite lines from a paper. It didn't seem like he was all in for this project but decided to coast through. This might be a nit-pick but it's not a spoiler: not long after we meet his character he randomly tosses his wig off for no discernable reason and he never puts it back on. Nobody says anything about it. All the men of high class wore wigs in the movie so I assumed for a man to walk around wigless in front of high society would be deemed offensive. Anyway, I don't know what the point of that scene was.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 44/106 minutes making his SP 42%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? No. Although he is in much of the movie, he just doesn't do a lot nor is he interesting. Honestly, the character is boring. I wouldn't turn this on for Ewan. Is the movie worth watching in general? Sadly, it's another no from me. In all fairness, it's so weird that it charmed me a little but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. I don't know what audience this movie was made for.
Warning before Watching: There is a whole incest subplot in the movie. There aren't any sex scenes or anything but the movie makes sure you know they're related so keep that in mind. In a scene where Thea is overcome with emotion she intentionally cuts her face. The scenes of her being "cured" of her "illness" by the physician could also be uncomfy to watch. There's nothing graphic but you do hear her scream in pain and just the general treatment of this character is sad. Lastly, you see someone die from poison.
Where to Watch: "The Serpent's Kiss" is available to stream for free on Tubi, Sling TV, Redbox, Amazon Prime Video, and Freevee. It's also currently uploaded for free to YouTube. Just search "The Serpent's Kiss Full action Movie Drama Ewan McGregor".
12. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: A Life Less Ordinary (1997)
This is Ewan's last movie of 1997 and oh boy, is it a good one! And yes, the plot is just as zany as his previous two movies lol. Here are some fun facts before we begin!
Ewan's wife, Eve Mavrakis, is credited as Art Department Associate.
Once again the terrific trio of Danny Boyle, John Hodge, and Andrew Macdonald are reunited with Ewan to create movie magic! Sadly, Ewan and Danny's friendship took a huge blow after this project. The grudge would last for nearly two DECADES before they worked together again.
Stanley Tucci plays a minor role in the movie and will work with Ewan again in the future.
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: R
Director: Danny Boyle
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor
Synopsis: Robert Lewis is experiencing the worst day of his life. He gets fired, dumped, and evicted all within twenty-four hours! He decides his only option is to speak to the CEO and demand his job back. Instead, he ends up kidnapping the man's daughter, Celine! In the midst of this chaos, two angels are sent from Heaven to help Robert and Celine fall in love.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Robert Lewis. Robert is a hopeless romantic and aspiring writer. He's a sweet guy who doesn't know how he ended up as a wanted criminal but thinks he's gone too far to turn back. Thankfully for him, there's one person who's willing to help him be a convincing kidnapper and get the ransom money he needs...his kidnappee, Celine! Ewan gives a great performance in this role. His chemistry with Cameron Diaz is even better than his with Nicole Kidman for "Moulin Rouge!" in my opinion. He has two kiss scenes and a shirtless scene. He performs a song and dance number which is really fun. He wears the kilt which to my knowledge is the only time he's done so on screen to date. Robert is more innocent compared to Celine so that brings about some cute moments of confusion. Best of all, he sobs like a baby in one scene and it was *chef's kiss 🤌*. He needs to do more comedy roles because he's genuinely good at it! All the actors had great chemistry and gave stellar performances.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 53/104 minutes making his SP 51%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? Yes! I'm a fan of his raspy screaming voice (and he does a lot of it), he sings, dances, and seeing him cry in fear is always appreciated. Is the movie worth watching in general? Also yes! It's funny and the actors play off each other so well. The story is unique and the soundtrack is great too!
Warning before Watching: There are some bloody scenes in the movie. Nothing super graphic but I still want to issue a warning for those who are uncomfortable by such depictions. Two characters get shot in the head and there's a close up of their wounds. There's a scene of a character intentionally cutting them self and drawing a large amount of blood. Lastly, a character is cut by someone else and there's a close up of the wound.
Where to Watch: "A Life Less Ordinary" is currently available for rent on Fandango at Home. You can also watch on Amazon Prime Video if you have a premium subscription or you can pirate it on soap2day.
Closing Thoughts: It truly sucks that this movie wasn't well-received and was commercially unsuccessful. We need more movies like this that a take chance on a wacky story! I call them "silly goofy movies" and they are sorely lacking in Hollywood today. I implore you to give this movie a watch. It's a great time!
13. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Velvet Goldmine (1998)
Happy Pride Month!❤️🌈❤️We've made it to 1998 and can take a breather because Ewan only made two movies this year. How appropriate that on the first week of Pride Month the first review is the LGBTQ film "Velvet Goldmine"! I swear I didn't plan this. Maxwell Demon must have arranged it in the stars 😏. Also, I came across three different runtimes for this movie. The version I watched had a runtime of 1 hour and 58 minutes so the Screentime Percentage is based off of that.
Fun Fact: Toni Collette co-stars in this movie. She was in "Emma" with Ewan!
Genre: Musical/Drama
Rating: R
Director: Todd Haynes
Starring: Christian Bale, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Ewan McGregor, Toni Collette
Synopsis: If you're someone who doesn't like musicals because of the "unrealistic" factor then you'll be happy to know that's not the case here. The movie is a musical because the characters are singers/musicians and they perform throughout the movie. The film is about British glam rocker Brian Slade who fakes his own death and disappears from the public in the 70s. Ten years later, Arthur Stuart, a journalist, is given the task to unearth what really happened to the rockstar and where he is now. His search brings him in contact with former stars who knew Slade and causes him to reflect on his own tumultuous past.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Curt Wild. Curt Wild is a gay American man who's the lead singer and guitarist of his band The Rats. Brian Slade is greatly inspired by Curt and convinces him to collaborate on some projects. Eventually, what starts as a professional relationship blossoms into something more. Ewan speaks with an American English accent for this role which sounds a little funny at times. He has long blond hair for some of the movie which I like. He has two male love interests and a kiss scene. There's also one sex scene and one implied sex scene. He pretty much never wears a shirt and in one scene even strips nude while performing! And yes, that means you get to see his penis. Speaking of performing, he sings thrice and two of those times are full performances. Fun fact: he sang all of his vocals live instead of lip syncing to a pre-recorded track while filming! As far as acting, I think he did well with the limited amount of screentime he had.
Screentime Percentage (numbers are rounded to the nearest whole number): Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 20/118 minutes making his SP 17%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes, even though he doesn't have much screen time, he makes the most of it. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes, it's a great LGBTQ movie! Plus, the soundtrack is infectious.
Where to Watch: "Velvet Goldmine" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. It's also currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the account SELVA BEATS. Just search "Velvet Goldmine 1998 filme raro leg". Heads up: the movie has Portuguese subtitles that can't be turned off. Lastly, you can pirate the movie on soap2day.
Closing Thoughts: This movie makes me go Wild (pun-intended😉) with each watch. The music, costumes, performances, acting, EVERYTHING makes my heart pound. When I watched it for the first time I said the same thing Arthur did in the movie, "That's me! That's me!" It's been 26 years since it was released and in 2024 I was able to say, "That's me." I felt hope. I felt less alone. And I know I'm not the only one who saw themselves and felt the same. "Velvet Goldmine" is a beautiful movie in every way and well worth a watch.
14. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Little Voice (1998)
(sorry, everyone there's not a gif to use for the movie this time! 😭)
Fun Facts!
Philipp Jackson works alongside Ewan again in this movie in a minor role. They worked together on the movie "Brassed Off!"
Jim Broadbent is part of the supporting cast as the character Mr. Boo. He will reunite with Ewan to film "Moulin Rouge!"
The titular character, Little Voice, is played by Jane Horrocks who performs her own songs! They did not hire an impressionist for her to lip sync to; she's just that talented! She also played this role seven years earlier for the stage play version.
Genre: Comedy/Musical
Rating: R
Director: Mark Herman
Starring: Jane Horrocks, Michael Caine, Brenda Blethyn
Synopsis: "Little Voice" is about a young lady (Jane Horrocks), nicknamed Little Voice due to her whispery manner of speaking. She rarely talks and is so shy that she never leaves her house. The only thing that brings her joy is listening to music. Her mother (Brenda Blethyn) is the exact opposite. She's loud, talkative, and unfortunately, doesn't think Little Voice is good for anything. When a talent scout discovers that Little Voice has a gift for impersonating famous singers, all he sees are dollar signs. He just has to convince this girl with a tiny personality to share with the world her larger than life brilliance.
Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Billy. Like Little Voice, Billy is a man of few words. While music is the only thing on her mind, his is constantly preoccupied with his pigeons. When he meets Little Voice for the first time he is immediately intrigued by her and tries to get to know the meek young lady. Ewan isn't given much to do in this movie. His character is shy so he doesn't have many lines. He's mostly relegated to being the quiet awkward guy in the background. If you're looking for Ewan content, then I suggest you keep looking. You could call Little Voice a love interest, I suppose. I don't see their relationship that way but that's just my opinion. He doesn't have any kissing, sex, or nude scenes. I believe he speaks in a Yorkshire accent for the movie. His awkwardness is cute and relatable and he performs a heroic act towards the end of the movie. I think acting wise he gives a good performance.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 14/97 minutes making his SP 14%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Unfortunately, no. He's just a minor character without much screentime or lines. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes. It's a charming movie with a talented cast.
Where to Watch: "Little Voice" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video.
Closing Thoughts: I feel I have the responsibility to point out that the characters Billy and Little Voice are considered "abnormal" by the people around them. They don't understand social cues, they don't make a lot of eye contact, they barely talk and when they do, it's only about the specific interest they have, and they have unusual mannerisms. In other words, while the movie doesn't explicitly give them a label, I think they're meant to be autistic or at the very least are coded that way. I'm bringing it up because I don't know if the actors are on the spectrum but I've heard from those who are that the autistic community has often been hurt by even the most well-meaning depictions of the neurodivergent. I'm not autistic so I don't think it's fair for me to say whether the actors performance was harmful in their depiction or if it was done well and respectfully. All I can do is give you a heads up so that you aren't blindsided if you decide to watch it.
15. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Hey y'all, I'm back! I took a break that lasted longer than expected and it's finally time for me get back to it. This is Ewan's first movie of 1999.
Genre: Family/Sci-fi
Rating: PG
Director: George Lucas
Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ahmed Best, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd
Movie Synopsis: "The Phantom Menace" is about two Jedi, Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who are sent on a simple diplomatic mission to help a planet in crisis. What they discover is a much larger conspiracy and that their enemy, The Sith, have finally resurfaced after 1,000 years. Aid for the Jedi comes from an unlikely ally, Anakin Skywalker, who is an enslaved child and believed by Qui-Gon to be the Chosen One who will bring balance to the Force.
Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Obi-Wan Kenobi who is an Apprentice aka Padawan to his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Obi-Wan is near the end of his Apprenticeship and is a very calm, focused, and prepared Jedi learner. While his Master believes little Anakin is the Chosen One and will do anything, even go against their Council's orders, to train the boy, Obi-Wan is not convinced. During their mission, Obi-Wan must use all of his training to confront the Sith and help bring peace to the planet. Ewan speaks in what sounds like a British accent for this role. He doesn't have any love interests, kissing, or nude scenes. His role isn't very prominent so he doesn't do much. He goes swimming with his clothes on if that is important to you and he has a fight scene at the end of the movie which is spectacular. His acting is fine for the little he's given to do.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 23/136 minutes making his SP 17%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Sigh...no. Wait! Before you crucify me, just please take off your nostalgia glasses for a second! This movie and version of Obi-Wan is as dear to my heart as it is to many fans. However, my absolute love for this character doesn't change the fact that the man is barely in the movie. When he is, it's very brief scenes where he tends to be standing quietly in the background. He also has minimal lines. Even Ewan himself has joked about how he was basically hired to just stand behind Liam Neeson. The bulk of his screentime happens in the last TEN minutes of the movie. Ewan being in this film is a plus, not the reason you should watch. So, I'm obliged to say that this isn't the Ewan content you're looking for (pun intended). Now, is the movie worth watching in general? Absolutely! It's such a fun time, the world building is incredible and don't get me started on the film score! Plus, the lightsaber duel at the end is one of the best fight sequences in the entire Star Wars series.
Where to Watch: You can watch The Phantom Menace if you are subscribed to Disney+. The movie is available for rent on Amazon Prime Video, Google Play Movies & TV, or Fandango at Home. You can also pirate it on soap2day.
16. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Rogue Trader (1999)
We're nearing the end of Ewan's 90's movie run! This movie took me a looooong time to get through because it's so anxiety inducing! You've heard of second-hand embarrassment? Well, get ready for second-hand panic lol.
Fun Fact: Pip Torrens plays a supporting role in this movie as the boss of Ewan McGregor's character. They worked together on the 1995 television show "Kavanagh Q.C."
Genre: Thriller/Crime
Rating: R
Director: James Dearden
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Anna Friel
Synopsis: "Rogue Trader" is based on a real person and event which makes it even more painful to watch. The movie is about Nick Leeson, a young and ambitious employee at England's second oldest bank, Barings. Nick's dream is to work as an investment trader for the bank and after hard work, earns the position. His ambitions don't end there and as he strives to make a name for himself by any means necessary, his pride and deception lead to a catastrophic end that shocks the world.
Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the main character Nick Leeson. Nick is a plucky young man eager to make his mark in the investing world. He's charming, intelligent, and cares deeply for his wife and employees. Unfortunately, he uses these positive traits to his own detriment and the detriment of others. As you watch this movie, it becomes increasingly clear why Ewan was hired for the project as he is Mr. Prince Charming himself. Ewan brings a soft touch to this role. Making a man who caused irreparable harm to god knows how many people sympathetic. You want to see his luck turn around. You want him to do the right thing even as he digs himself deeper and deeper into his mess. Ewan has a love interest in this role and several kiss scenes. He has a nude makeout scene, and is shirtless multiple times. He also gets a very clear ass shot. He gets extremely anxious, and sleep deprived. You will literally see him shake, cry, or throw up at least once. He gets hit in the face with a chair at a bar fight and has a couple boxing scenes. In other words, there's a lot of yummy content in here.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan McGregor is on screen for a whopping grand total of.....65 / 94 minutes! This makes his SP 69% 😱 That is a HUGE amount! "Trainspotting" has finally been dethroned and I honestly don't know what movie, if any, is going to top this score. So start placing your bets!
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.
Warning Before Watching: In the very beginning of the movie, a man flashes his penis at a woman he's hitting on. You don't see his penis but it's uncomfortable to watch just the same. There is a miscarriage scene that features light bleeding. It's not graphic but if you're sensitive to such topics and would like to skip, it starts at 53:00 and ends at 54:06.
Where to Watch: Rogue Trader is available for rent on Fandango at Home and Amazon Prime Video. It is also currently uploaded for free on YouTube through the channels "Retrospective - Classic Movies" and "Real Drama". Just search "Rogue Trader 1999" and both options will come up.
17. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Eye of the Beholder (1999)
Well, we're here. We finally made it to Ewan's last movie of the 1990's. Seventeen. That's how many movies our fave did in the 90's. That's not including tv shows and short films. Seventeen. Movies. Let me put this in perspective. Ewan's big screen debut was in 1994. In the span of FIVE YEARS he did SEVENTEEN movies! Five years, y'all! Out of those seventeen he starred in eleven! Who else is putting up these kind of numbers? Do y'all realize how astounding a career start that is? He wasn't a child actor. He didn't have insider connections. He was a nobody 22 year old with a dream. I'm sure even he never imagined that he would experience that insane amount of success in such a small amount of time. There's a lot that had to go into his success that I could ramble about for hours. But what I will say is that he has got to be the luckiest actor alive.
Genre: Thriller/Mystery
Rating: R
Director: Stephan Elliott
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Ashley Judd
Movie Synopsis: A British spy know as "The Eye" is sent on a mission to gather intel on his target. When he witnesses his target's murder at the hands of a mysterious woman, he feels an immediate connection to her and strives to keep her from getting caught. His strange compulsion turns into obsession as he secretly follows her and devotes himself to protecting her no matter the cost.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Stephen Wilson aka The Eye. Stephen is a quiet and withdrawn person. He is emotionally and mentally fragile ever since the abrupt loss of his daughter and still sees her everywhere. When he first sees the mysterious woman, he feels a paternal instinct ignite inside him and believes she can fill the hole left by his daughter. I think Ewan gives a good performance in this role. The character is subdued yet intriguing. His motivations are just as mysterious as the woman he stalks which pulls you in. He doesn't have a love interest. He gets into two fights and beats someone bloody in one of them. He doesn't have any nudity but Ashley Judd does. Truth be told, the draw of this movie truly is the acting. Both Ewan and Ashley Judd's performances are amazing. Watching him fall deeper into his obsession is disturbingly mesmerizing. You wonder how far he will go and how long he can keep this up. If you're into yandere and Ewan McGregor then this was made for you.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan McGregor is on screen for a grand total of 48 / 102 minutes making his SP 47%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.
Warning Before Watching: This movie features a lot of violence with much of it being bloody. There is also an attempted rape scene where the victim is beaten and drugged.
Where to Watch: You can watch "Eye of the Beholder" for free on Peacock. It is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, and Fandango at Home. You can watch it on the following streaming platforms if you have a subscription: Starz, YouTube Primetime, Hulu, Sling TV, Amazon Prime Video, YouTube Premium, and Philo Premium.
Closing Thoughts: This movie was not a commercial success yet I consider it to be a diamond in the rough. It's high on my list of favorite Ewan movies. On YouTube, there is fascinating behind the scenes footage on the film-making process that made the movie that much more endearing to me. It's called "Documentary about making Eye of the Beholder with Ewan McGregor" on the account "Ewan McGregor Vault".
18. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Nora (2000)
(the pictures used are from Frock Flicks on Pinterest)
We made it to the new millennium! Time to say goodbye to our 90's lad and say hello to Ewan's 2000's era!
Genre: Drama
Rating: R
Director: Pat Murphy
Starring: Susan Lynch, Ewan McGregor
Synopsis: "Nora" is based on the real life of Nora Barnacle, who was the life partner of the prolific Irish writer, James Joyce. Her story begins as a bright-eyed young woman eager to leave her town. After falling in love with a talented writer, and accomplishing her dream to move out of Dublin, she starts to realize that the life she envisioned for herself is nothing like the reality she finds herself in.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character James Joyce. Although the movie is called "Nora" it could have easily been called "James", as the film seems to focus more on him than his counterpart. James is an aspiring Irish writer and a very talented one at that. The only problem is that he struggles to find a publisher for his work which makes him feel insecure in his craft. He is arrogant, self-centered, heavily swayed by the opinions of his friends, and prone to fits of jealousy. He loves Nora and is utterly reliant on her love and support though he can be too proud to admit it. Ewan speaks in an Irish accent for the role, which I don't think is great, but he does act opposite of a native Irish actress so the difference is more noticeable. He has facial hair which changes over time and I didn't like at all. He speaks a little Italian, plays guitar, and sings five times. This movie is smut city! He has a love interest and when they aren't fighting they're fucking. Within ten minutes of the movie, Ewan is whimpering like a puppy while getting jacked off in an alley. He has several kiss scenes and sex scenes, one of which is nude doggy style. He has a shirtless scene, fingering scene, and a masturbation scene. He also exhibits some cuckolding desires which I found intriguing. The creme de la creme in my opinion is the dirty talking sequence. James and Nora write erotic letters to each other which the actors read out loud. One more thing that I must mention is something I've yet to see repeated in a Ewan movie. In one particular sex scene, Ewan strokes Susan Lynch's leg, creeping up her dress, and you see her twitch. Like, the involuntary twitch your body does when someone touches you just right...I'm just gonna leave that right there. Overall, Ewan gives a good performance.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 60/107 minutes making his SP 56%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes! Is it worth watching in general? Y'all are gonna think I'm crazy for this, but no. Maybe if you're a fan of James Joyce, which is the intended audience anyway, then you'll find it enjoyable. The movie itself is pretty boring. While Susan Lynch was the best actor in this film and did incredible, I wouldn't watch this except for Ewan and even that was a struggle when smut wasn't happening. If you're choosing movies to watch based on the Ewan factor then this is an understandable skip. It's extremely unfortunate that even pathetic, jealous, sex couldn't save this for me.
Where to Watch: "Nora" is available for rent on YouTube. You can stream it for free on the following platforms: Tubi, Pluto TV, Sling TV, Fandango at Home, Freevee, Amazon Prime Video, and Redbox.
19. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Moulin Rouge! (2001)
Fun Fact: Jim Broadbent co-stars in this movie as Harold Zidler. He worked with Ewan on the movie "Little Voice" as Mr. Boo!
Director: Baz Luhrmann
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor
Genre: Musical/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Synopsis: A young man named Christian who believes deeply in love although he has never fallen in love moves to France to pursue his dream of being a writer. He is befriended by a group of Bohemian artists who enlist him to help write a play for the Moulin Rouge. Thanks to a mix up, he meets the star of the Moulin Rouge, the courtesan Satine, and falls madly in love her. Unfortunately for him, not only is Satine betrothed to another man, she refuses to allow herself to fall in love.
Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor plays the character Christian. Christian is an optimistic and idealistic man. He believes that there is nothing more important than love. Although he is poor and Satine is meant to marry a rich Duke, he never loses hope that love will find a way for them to be together. Ewan speaks in an English accent for the role. He has a love interest, several kissing scenes, and two implied sex scenes. This is a musical so you get to hear him sing throughout the movie. He cries, screams, moans, and whimpers. His character is basically a puppy in human form so prepare for lots of charming innocence. His acting performance was wonderful.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 51/128 minutes making his SP 40%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan content alone? Yes. Is it worth watching in general? Yes.
Where to Watch: "Moulin Rouge!" is available for rent on YouTube, Google Play Movies and TV, and Fandango at Home. You can also pirate it on soap2day.
20. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Genre: Family/Action
Rating: PG
Director: George Lucas
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, and Hayden Christensen
Synopsis: Ten years after The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker reunite with Padmé Amidala, now a Senator of the Republic. Their mission is to uncover who is behind the assassination attempts on her life. Anakin is sent to Naboo to act as Padmé's bodyguard and wrestles with his growing feelings for her as well as increasing visions of his mother. While Obi-Wan searches for her killer, he uncovers a secret plan to plunge the galaxy into war.
Ewan Review: Ewan McGregor returns to his role as Obi-Wan Kenobi, now graduated from a Padawan to a distinguished Jedi Knight and Master to Anakin Skywalker. Obi-Wan has grown into his role as a teacher to Anakin though the two often don't see eye to eye. He must learn to trust in Anakin and give him the freedom to prove himself. Ewan speaks in an English accent and has longer hair than in The Phantom Menace. He also sports a beard. He gets in a few fights and injured in one of them. He also gets soaking wet and tied by the hands twice. His screentime doubles from The Phantom Menace so you get to see more of Obi-Wan's personality which is appreciated. He's very sarcastic and quippy in this movie. His acting performance is very well done.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 33/142 minutes making his SP 23%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan alone? Yes. Is the movie worth watching in general? Yes.
Where to Watch: "Attack of the Clones" is available to watch on Disney+ and fuboTV with a subscription, Hulu, Sling TV, and YouTube TV with a premium subscription, and for rent on Google Play Movies and TV, Fandango at Home, and Amazon Prime Video. You can watch it for free on soap2day.
21. Ewan McGregor Movie Review: Down with Love (2003)
Genre: Comedy/Romance
Rating: PG-13
Director: Peyton Reed
Starring: Renée Zellweger, Ewan McGregor, Sarah Paulson, and David Hyde Pierce
Synopsis: Aspiring author, Barbara Novak, trades her small-town life for the Big Apple in order to promote her new book, "Down with Love." The book stirs up controversy with its message to help women achieve equality by saying no to love and yes to sex. When Catcher Block, resident playboy and New York's #1 journalist, is personally affected by this shift of the sexes, he plots to expose Barbara Novak as a fraud by getting her to fall in love with him.
Ewan Review: Ewan plays the character Catcher Block. Catcher is famous for being THE socialite of New York City. Women want him, men want to be him, and he's highly respected in his field as a journalist. Yes, life is perfect for him...until Barbara Novak shows up out of the blue and turns society on its head! His pride and reliance on the status quo can't bear to see this happen. So, he does what any logical man would do: wage a battle of the sexes! Ewan surprisingly speaks in his Scottish accent for this role! He also speaks in a southern accent which isn't any good, but I'm going to give him a pass this time because of the context. He has two shirtless scenes and LOTS of kissing scenes. I'm talking straight up making out, y'all. There are sex jokes galore and he gets to make his fair share of them. He doesn't have any sex scenes but he does have an implied erection scene. Lastly, he has a stellar song and dance number. His acting performance is incredible. I also just want to add that he is outlandishly handsome in this movie. I don't know how to explain it, especially because he's handsome in practically all his roles. He's a naturally handsome guy, but the way his attractiveness was amplified ten-fold in this movie did not go unnoticed by me. Please tell me if you understand what I'm talking about.
Screentime Percentage: Ewan is on screen for a grand total of 47/102 minutes making his SP 46%.
To Ewan or not to Ewan: Is the movie worth watching for Ewan in general? 1000% YES! Is it worth watching in general? Yes!
Where to Watch: "Down with Love" is available for rent on Amazon Prime Video, YouTube, and Google Play Movies and TV. You can watch it for free on soap2day.
Closing Thoughts: This movie is an homage to the sex comedies of the 1960s and is played out like one. It takes place in 1962 and the way it transports the audience back to that time is nothing short of fantastic! The costumes, editing, set design, manner of speech, soundtrack, everything down to the last detail was dripping in nostalgia and it was a blast! I feel the need to stress though that this a SEX comedy. It's about sex. It's all the characters talk about, it's the driving force of the movie, and dirty jokes/sexual innuendos are the foundation of it. Just think it over before popping it in for family movie night.
EVERYONE STOP SCROLLING AND READ THIS NOW!
Bestie, this is everything I could've ever wanted. You mind! You're beautiful mind! I don't know what to say. This was food for my soul. You've inspired me to study film analysis. This breakdown blew me away! 🤯 I'm just rambling cuz I'm genuinely floored. Wow!
Queer Text/Subtext in Shallow Grave (1994)
CW: BLOOD, STABBING, MURDER, NON-SEXUAL NUDITY, DRUG USE
I guess I wrote a rough essay... about the queer subtext in Shallow Grave... Here... have the rough draft if you'd like...
Overt references to queerness:
When we look at contemporary movies, we often have a knee-jerk reaction to dismiss any “funny” references to queerness or sexuality to be taken as jokes and nothing further than that. Unfortunately, this has become all too common, and does a disservice to the films we watch. So I will be taking every moment of referenced or implied queerness as serious, even if it is delivered in a humorous way. Especially because this movie is not meant to be a comedy (despite some humorous moments).
Furthermore, references to queerness in movies should be taken seriously because they establish not only the existence of queerness (in universe, as one might say), but can also demonstrate the character’s attitudes towards queerness. Its important to notice that at no point in this movie are any references to queerness played for a laugh – they might be humorous, but we are not meant to laugh at the character for being queer, which indicates that queerness is taken seriously within the universe of the movie (or at least between the characters).
The first overt reference to queerness is when Juliet asks an interviewee if he is having an affair with a man or a woman and the man is not given screen time to answer. This same man bursts into tears after Alex, a man, says, “When did anyone last say to you these exact words, ‘you are the sunshine of my life’?” (this is a reference to the Stevie Wonder song of the same name). While it is technically (according to the script) said by Alex to a different interviewee, the arrangement of the shots does not indicate that, as it cuts directly from Alex asking the question to the man crying. This could imply a number of things.
The second overt reference to queerness comes at the charity ball, where a Scotsman says, “ladies and gentlemen, and those of you who are neither or both,” which is then met with a drumroll. Alex immediately responds, offended, “where did they dig him up?” implying that Alex finds the joke to be outdated and, perhaps, distasteful.
The third overt reference is when Alex dresses in drag. He also appears in the same scene, on the tape recording wearing some rather flamboyant costumes. The fact that Alex is in drag is not addressed by any of the other characters, nor by Alex, indicates that this is either a usual occurrence, or, for some reason, entirely unremarkable to the characters. Specifically, it is interesting that David does not comment on it, as he walks into the scene unsuspecting.
The fourth, and final, overt reference to queerness is when, upon being told of Juliet and David’s relationship, Alex says to Juliet, “I’d do exactly the same thing except I don’t think I’m his type.” If the line is interpreted sarcastically (which I think most viewers will) then we can assume that he is jealous of David for being with Juliet. If it is interpreted as earnest, then we can assume that he is jealous of Juliet for being with David. It also could be an ambiguous combination of both.
Queer Subtext:
Now let us dig into the subtext, which I actually find to be much juicier....
The Squash Scene and the Car
Directly after the interviews have concluded, we are given a scene which helps frame the relationship between the three characters as one built on dynamics of domination and submission and gives us a baseline to understand each of the character’s roles within this dynamic. This scene takes place on the Squash court.
There is a deviation here between the script and the film, as several lines have been cut, but I will include them as they add some context to the scene.
In the above text, Alex indicates that he sees this game of squash as a struggle for dominance. In this case, the game between Alex and David is won by Alex, who then, despite having called David a “bad loser,” demonstrates that he is a sore winner when he gloats over David by saying, “defeat, defeat, defeat – sporting, personal, financial, professional, sexual, and everything.”
David is clearly annoyed by this and storms off. This scene sets up the ongoing power dynamic between Alex and David in which Alex is the dominant one in the relationship. It also is the first time that we see David being emasculated by Alex, which will continue occurring for the first half of the movie.
Immediately after David leaves the court, Juliet takes his place to play a match against Alex. In this scene she is wearing a rather masculine outfit which is similar to that of the two male characters. She also sports short hair throughout the movie, but this is the scene in which she appears the most “boyish.” When she enters the court to play, Alex begins to make the same statement (“Did you know squash is-”) that he made (in the script) earlier, to David. Thus he is using this exercise as a way to exert dominance, not only over David, his male sexual rival, but also over Juliet, thus implying that she is on equal footing – therefore also a sexual rival. However, Juliet cuts him off and tells him, “Alex, just serve.”
The action of cutting off Alex denies him domination in that moment, thus establishing that the two of them are on much more equal footing, or possibly that Juliet is in fact the dominant one between the two of them. This scene serves to establish that typical gendered dynamics are somewhat blurred between these three individuals, and that David, instead of Juliet, takes on the most feminine/passive role in the group.
The next scene once again highlights the complicated gender and power dynamics within the group. Juliet drives the car (masculine) while Alex and David bicker with one another from the back seat and passenger seat, respectively.
In this scene, addressing Alex’s win, David says, “Victory is the same as defeat – it’s giving into destructive competitive urges,” which distances him from competition, and could be interpreted as him rejecting the masculine urge to dominate. Alex, in return, emasculates him by belittling his reliance on a “discussion group,” (implied to be therapy). During this scene, Alex and David are looking at one another, however, the rear-view mirror blocks both of their eyes. This symbolizes their unwillingness to see “eye-to-eye and perhaps a certain level of repression between the two of them. Also in this scene, Juliet physically dominates Alex by elbowing him in the chest, and attempts to emasculate him verbally by implying that a woman that he is interested in hates him. She does this specifically in response to Alex’s emasculation of David, thus establishing that while Alex might be dominant over David, she is dominant over him. During this exchange, however, in her attempt to protect David from Alex, David is further emasculated because he relies on someone else to defend him.
Discovering the Body / Three Friends, Three Bodies
When the trio discovers Hugo’s body we see some more of this interesting dynamic.
David stands by shocked while Alex ransacks the room searching for paraphernalia, while Juliet (the doctor among them) attends to the body.
Hugo’s nude corpse in this scene represents male vulnerability. He is prone and exposed on the bed, having overdosed on heroin, and can do nothing while his privacy is violated (by the dominant, Alex). The injection of drugs into the body, in this case, could also be said to symbolize emasculation - the breaking of the body barrier through penetration of a syringe (phallus). This exemplifies a significant cultural fear at the time – death of the male body via penetration, which had become a major concern due to the HIV/AIDS epidemic. (If I was writing this essay for real, this is where I would insert articles that demonstrate horror’s preoccupation with AIDS and gay stuff during the 80s and 90s, but this is just for fun)
David, of course, is enamored by this display of the fragility of the male body. I would suggest that he identifies with Hugo’s vulnerability in death, and that the treatment of Hugo’s body by Alex and Juliet mirrors the way that they treat David. While Alex takes advantage of Hugo’s vulnerability in death by violating his privacy (thus dominating it), Juliet emasculates Hugo’s corpse by tending to it. In one shot, we also see Juliet’s fingers dangerously close to penetrating Hugo’s mouth.
We can also expand upon this by recognizing that the two male characters that are pursuing Hugo and the trio in search of the money, are parallels to Juliet and David. The two men are able to dominate Juliet and Alex through violence, only then to be killed by David. Thus, the three bodies that the trio end up burying are parallels to the trio themselves.
David Overcomes Emasculation, Alex Becomes Emasculated.
Alex’s emasculation of David continues throughout the first half of the movie, culminating in David being forced to dismember Hugo’s body (the very body that he identifies with). When this occurs, he becomes the violator/aggressor/dominator.
This occurrence proceeds the change in the group dynamic. Around the midpoint of the movie (during the charity ball) we see David transition into a dominant role in the trio, while Alex becomes submissive.
This is demonstrated first by Juliet dominating Alex while they dance. Alex falls to the floor, drunk, and Juliet takes that moment to step on Alex’s mouth, forcing him to lick the bottom of her shoe. He then willingly kisses her ankle, meeting her eye contact submissively. It is made clear through his facial expressions and laughter, that he finds joy in this act, thus embracing the emasculation (whereas David had always responded poorly, rejecting it).
Alex then attempts to re-exert control over David by forcing him to toast when he doesn’t want to. David eventually concedes after Alex yells at him, demanding that he toast to “love and happiness forever.” (Alex also humiliates and emasculates Cameron in this scene).
David finally exerts control when Brian McKenly (a man keen on pursuing Juliet) interrupts their conversation. David responds by standing on level with Brian and stating, “If you want to talk to my girlfriend, you talk to me first. If you want to dance with her, you apply in writing three weeks in advance or you end up inside of a fucking bin bag. You didn’t apply – so you don’t dance!”
While David shrinks a bit afterwards, admitting that he found the interaction stressful, both Juliet and Alex embrace him, in high spirits (one might say… aroused…). Alex exclaims, “He [David] was really good – fucking bin bag – I really liked that. You really explored your maleness to the full there! You were magnificent.” This statement indicates that Alex, who has rarely had an encouraging word for David over the course of the movie, is invigorated upon seeing that David has stepped into a dominant role, exerting his masculinity onto others. Immediately following this, Alex is assaulted in the bathroom by Cameron (who he had emasculated twice prior) and two other men, who beat him quite badly, thus emasculating Alex.
The following day, Alex’s emasculation is made complete when he dresses in drag and spends the day in debauchery with Juliet. The framing of his and Juliet’s bodies during this scene is also worth noting, as they are often visually indistinguishable from one another – with Alex being noticeably more feminine than Juliet in several shots due to his makeup, jewelry, dress, and rather delicate shoulders.
(Notably, during the entirety of the ball scene and much of the drag/video scene, Alex is often pictured smoking a cigar instead of his usual cigarette, which could be said to stand in for a phallus.)
From this point on, David is almost always dominant over Alex. (One notable exception is one moment where Alex leans in close to David during dinner and orders, “now swallow,” while making very intense eye contact. David regains control by reminding Alex that David was the one who dismembered Hugo’s body.)
After this point it is clear that David is undergoing some extreme psychological stress, and has become paranoid and aggressive. His shift in demeanor is most clearly symbolized by this shot, where he calls out of work so that he can begin making plans to protect the cash.
The Wickerman
During one scene, an injured Alex lays on the couch and watches the final scene of The Wickerman (1973).
The Wickerman tells the tale of a conservative Christian police officer who goes to a Scottish isle to investigate the disappearance of a girl, only to discover that the locals are practicing a form of paganism that involves human sacrifice. The police officer discovers that he is in fact the sacrifice. It is implied that he is the sacrifice because he is a virgin and a heterosexual, and he is unwilling to have sex with Christopher Lee’s character. Christopher Lee was most well known at the time for playing the lead in Dracula (1958) – another movie with extremely well documented queer subtext. The audience of The Wickerman would have been aware of this.
During this scene, the drumbeats of the pagan ritual, where the police officer is being marched to his execution/sacrifice, synchronizes with David’s steps overhead, a sound that the characters and the audience come to associate with surveillance and dread.
Honestly this scene has me a bit stumped. Who does Alex identify with in this situation? The heterosexual victim? – is the ending subverted because his submission culminates in… the penetration of Alex's body… thus making him queer? Idk it's been a long day.
Surveillance
During the second half of the movie, David moves into the Attic and rarely comes down when his housemates are home. He is protecting the money, both from his housemates and from the men who eventually come looking for it. While Alex and Juliet are brutalized by the men, David is the one who has set a trap for them, and is able to kill them. He also leads the trio to dispose of the bodies, and drives the van (whereas Alex had driven the van the first time they disposed of the bodies, when he had been the dominant one in the relationship).
During his time in the attic, David drills holes in the ceiling so that he can spy on his housemates. He is literally in a dominant position over them, looking down on them while they go about their daily tasks. In one scene, he spies on Alex and Juliet while they are sleeping. In this scene, he is shown first to be watching Alex. David is also in a state of undress that we have not seen before, implying a certain sensuality to the observation. We do not get to see Alex in a state of undress, but the scene finishes with Alex putting his shoes on, the camera looking down from above, implying David’s Point of view, and that he had watched the whole time. After Alex leaves, David moves to watch Juliet, in a scene that is much longer and more explicitly inappropriate and sexualized, especially because we come to understand that David’s temporary attic bed is located directly over her bed. However, before she begins undressing, he looks away and holds his head in his hands.
This scene simultaneously offers us a leveling effect between the two objects of David’s gaze (Alex and Juliet), while simultaneously prioritizing the heterosexual coupling. However, the implication that there is shame associated with the heterosexual gaze, complicates the situation.
Penetration with the Drill (Phallus)
When Alex goes into the attic to look for the money (and finds it in the water tank), he climbs back down the ladder only to be confronted by David, who is holding a drill (phallus) as a weapon. Alex’s hands are wet from the water, and he frantically wipes them on the seat of his pants, behind his back, visually placing his hands as a barrier to his anus. The Drill makes contact with Alex's head and breaks the skin in an act of penetration (the body barrier is broken). This is the first scene in which David directly engages in domination (and penetration) of Alex.
David’s Glasses and Alex’s Photo
Lenses, mirrors, and portals/doorways are deeply significant visual aids in this movie, but I want to highlight the one that stood out to me the most. When Juliet and David have (implied) sex, at which point they solidify their status as a couple, David removes his glasses, and places them on Juliet’s bedside table. Underneath the glasses is a photo of Alex in costume, a cigar in his mouth, framed through the lens of the glasses. The photo was taken on the day in which we see Alex at his most feminine, at a point where he had been thoroughly emasculated (beaten in a bathroom by a man that he had emasculated multiple times). The framing of the photo, through the lens of David’s glasses implies that this is how David sees Alex – costumed, emasculated, and with a phallus in his mouth.
This photo is also shown once more in the film; David holds the photo of Alex as he lies in his attic bed, and he pins it above his head so he can look at it. The scene cuts to Alex, also in bed, who then gets up. It once again cuts back to David, who also gets up, and we see that Juliet lies asleep next to him. This follows a pattern of shots that we’ve seen before in the film (see the Surveillance section), where we see David watching Alex in what could be interpreted as a sexual or romantic way, before the camera reveals Juliet and lingers significantly. The implication is that whatever there is between David and Alex always gives way to the relationship between David and Juliet.
Returning to the glasses - the final time that we see them is during the climax of the movie. The three characters are struggling against one another, and David’s head is forced into the refrigerator so that Alex can try and smash him with the door. He manages to throw Alex off, but not before his glasses are caught on the shelf of the refrigerator, thus knocking them off his face. Having David’s glasses be knocked off would not typically be significant in a fight scene such as this, however the camera goes out of its way to linger on this shot, indicating that the symbolism here is important. The other time that we have seen David remove his glasses has been before he has (implied) sex with Juliet. In this case, the removal of the glasses occurs just before David pins Alex in his final act of domination, which then culminates in the ultimate symbolic act of sexual penetration – David stabbing Alex with a knife (phallus).
NOTE: David is also pictured without glasses at the beginning of the film, where he is lying on his back, and halfway through the film, after he has dismembered Hugo in a symbolic act of violence against his own vulnerability. In the first scene we hear his monologue; “I’m not ashamed, I’ve known love, I’ve known rejection. I’m not afraid to declare my feelings. Take trust for instance, or friendship. These are the important things in life. These are the things that matter, that help you on your way. If you can’t trust your friends well, then what then? What then? This could have been any city, but all the same.” It is unclear until the end, but it seems that the first time that we see David, right at the beginning, we are actually seeing him postmortem in the morgue. Meaning that the monologue is a lament on his life... (You're not ashamed of what, David? Being a bit gay, perhaps?)
Penetration with the Knife (Phallus)
At the climax of the movie, after David’s glasses have been removed, we arrive at David’s final act of domination over Alex. David pins Alex to the floor by sitting on his stomach, with Alex’s legs pinned underneath his knees in a position that could be interpreted as sexual. He then holds Alex by the throat, and stabs him in the shoulder, slicing clean through and penetrating the floor. The act of stabbing (penetrating) a victim with a knife (phallus) is one often noted in analysis of horror films, as having sexual implications (again – I’d find some article about it here if I was a serious writer lol).
Before David can stab Alex again with a second knife, David is stabbed with a knife through the throat from behind by Juliet. Thus Juliet, who has been a dominant character throughout the movie, is symbolically penetrating David with a phallus. Furthermore, the location of the stabbing in the throat and from behind, implies that David has now suffered, once again, an emasculation, just as he had just preformed on Alex.
David collapses and dies, just as Hugo did, from emasculation through the body barrier being broken from penetration. Thus, David’s identification with Hugo’s corpse and the vulnerability that it represented, is complete in this moment.
Juliet then kneels over Alex, taking up the same position that David had just occupied, and places her hand on the knife in Alex’s shoulder, pressing on it, thus taking David’s place as the one to dominate Alex. She then removes her shoe, and in an act that mirrors the scene from the charity ball in which she dominated Alex by having him lick her shoe/foot, she uses her shoe to hit the knife three times, driving it deeper into his shoulder, further penetrating him. Thus, in her final interaction with both David, and Alex, she has penetrated them.
As she puts her shoe back on, we can see inside of the refrigerator, where we once again see David’s glasses, recalling once again that this scene is coded as sexual in nature through the movie's visual language.
As the movie closes, we discover that Alex is alive (probably), and that he has hidden the money underneath the floorboard. In the ultimate irony of the movie, the character that spent the second half of the movie being coded as the submissive (homosexual receiving) partner, has come out on top, despite the other two character’s attempt to dominate (and kill) him.
Uhhh the credits roll, and they're all shown as they were in the first scene of the movie, smiling, laughing, and the love song "Happy Heart" plays...
Baby Reindeer (2024) Review
I've never seen a more Accurate representation of SA I've ever seen in film or TV.
You won't fully understand it unless it were to happen to You. This wouldn't have been Anywhere as good if it were written by Anyone else.
Richard Gadd himself wrote it, making it the more Hard Hitting Baby Reindeer. since the stories based on the series Had happened to Richard Gadd, and he went on to Write it instead of Any other old writer.
And the fact he Played the role Himself, putting himself through All of that again for a series, Truly is Unremarkable.
10/10
SUS (2010) Review
"OmG SuS LiKe tHe fUnNy AmOnG uS gAmE" -Sus is a 2010 British drama film directed by Robert Heath and starring Ralph Brown, Clint Dyer and Rafe Spall. It is set in a police station on the evening of the 1979 general election, where a black suspect is brought in and interrogated on suspicion of murder. It was written by Barrie Keeffe, adapted from his 1979 play with the same title, and takes its name from the sus law in operation at the time.
This movie is Brutal. There are only Three characters in the Entrie film, One of them is Black man and the over two are Conservative Racist To The Core policemen on the night Margaret Thatcher was elected Prime Minister. This movie Hurts to watch, but hurts more when you understand how Real it is, and how much of an effect the conservative party had on the United Kingdom.
10/10
So I just got done watching In The Heights today and I absolutely loved it!! I already knew that I was going to love the movie since I saw the first trailer, but I didn't know that I would be crying happy tears towards the end of the movie! I absolutely loved the story and I knew going in that I was going to love the music going in! Also, that little end credit scene was so cute and the little cameos and references that they threw into the movie had me freaking out. I lost it when Lin's parents had that little cameo during "Breathe". All and all I have to give this movie a 10/10.
[NON-Spoiler 'Super Mario Bros Movie' Review]
Like many others in this fandom I have dreamed of a proper Mario movie or cartoon since forever (Super Show is bad, I'm not sorry, and well, we all know the live action) and today.. I can say I have it.
Let's be honest, It's not perfect, there's some things here and there in this film that needed to be reworked! (For starters Mario's large @ss face design, I adapted to it but what was wrong with the og shape?)
Sad truth is: It had to be mid in something; it's still Illumination.
This product infact suffers a very simple storytelling, not helped by a very fast-paced rythim. Sometimes you may want to take a breather and enjoy slower moments, and more exposition, but nope, gotta go fast, Sonic style. Dang it. I mean c'mon we needed to see at least 5 minutes of the heroes' travel towards the Kong Kingdom, plus the lack of such scenes resulted in a lack of Toad scenes!! SHAME!
Minor bad thing: The power-ups are used so much, to the point they make it look like Mario's got no chances without 'em and it's not right, he's supposed to be strong in regular form. Oh, they are not even 'explained', and hey, before you tell me "It's Mario, you have to turn your brain off" i call BS, Mario with actual lore is\would be the best Mario, and it's totally possible, it's not that hard to make up something like 'they're ancient relycs our ancestors placed around the kingdoms for us to survive this wacky world'. (And, this is more of a personal thought i guess; some animal power-ups should have not been a thing here, i know they're iconic and i love them in the games but in a movie they're just ridiculous on Mario)
That said, "The Super Mario Bros Movie" is a BLAST anyway! Yeah I think the best way to describe it is 'A simple and sweet blast', it took me a while but I'd give it a 7 out of 10 because the main key element this blockbuster needed at all costs (aka what the games miss) is there and it's good: characters' interactions.
Mario and Luigi's bond here is explored so well it can get you teary in few moments. It's the heart of the whole thing. They're THE bros!
And Mario and Peach? Finally with them we get something more than those crumbs the source material had used us to. It's no revolutionary approach; we could, and should, have had more of these two, to be fair, but considering Miyamoto is involved (he is always been scared to touch the love topic since he basically considers it mature stuff) what's in the final cut is already a lot.
DK and Mario's rivarly is spot on, legit funny to witness.
Bowser and Mario scenes are very limited, strange yeah, but I love the basic reason of his hatred for the man. Btw this Koopa King is hilarious yet more villanous than ever before, someone will tell you he's an antagonist with no motivation but it's clearly untrue.
The action is on point, the animation is incredible. (I just wish they didn't spoil most of those goodies with tv spots)
In the end this really is a love letter to almost the entire mario history, it's crazy to think how much of many many games, they incorporated in a single film, and in a way that feels right: from musics to characters and locations, it's phenomenal.
the scene where logan's shirt rips off... one chance is all i need i can treat him so good i swear!!!
me:
also feel free to send asks and talk to me about deadpool & wolverine bc im currently obsessed and would love to hear your guys hc, thoughts and opinions! 🖤🩶🤍