Yugioh Went "gardeners Are Actually Inherently A Little Fucked Up In The Head And Crave Violence." And

Yugioh went "gardeners are actually inherently a little Fucked Up In The Head and Crave Violence." and they were so real for that.

Honestly, big fan of how fucking Weird™ Neuvillette is

He can't do small talk for shit, his idea of a pastime is standing soaking wet in the rain with no umbrella, he'll infodump cool water facts at you given half the opportunity. He's the adoptive father of several dozen(?) immortal kids. He's a lawyer. He's inexplicably talented at making pottery.

He's somehow simultaneously the coolest and the lamest person in Fontaine

The idea of the magic card "Swords to plowshares" is essentially that target creature rejects the way of the sword and becomes a farmer instead, hence you lose them as a combatant but gain the health from their farming.

This is really fuckin funny in conjunction with a lot of potential targets for that card. Can you just imagine you're an average farmer in an MTG plane, have a normal-ass day, and all of a sudden you look to the east, and stretching up past the clouds you see Ulamog, the despoiler, one of the infamous eldrazi titans, a creature that corrupts all that is good by its mere presence. And all the enormous bastard is doing is using their massive fuckin tendrils to plow the land and plant potatos, and tend to their flocks of eldrazi spawn, and then it turns its eyeless head thats the size of several cities at you and tips its wide brimmed straw hat at you and continues going about its work.

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

So, I’ve been seeing a few different posts recently about the new cards that show Gideon’s death, but I haven’t seen anyone pointing this out yet, so I thought I would.

Gideon’s big feature, the gimmick that sets him apart from pretty much every other Planeswalker, is that he can become indestructible. Every card of him has the feature that allows him to become some kind of indestructible soldier creature for a turn, even his Origins card pre-Spark Ignition. No matter where he is, Gideon is always standing on the frontlines, standing in the way of trouble yet never taking any damage himself.

It’s his greatest blessing…but also his greatest curse, as it was because of his indestructibility that he became the lone survivor of the Irregulars.

So, it’s really poetic then, that Gideon’s death by him taking the damage that someone else should’ve. Gideon didn’t step in the way of some spell or attack for one of his friends and throw up his shields–he took on their burden, their curse, and let it take his life instead of theirs when they broke it.

Gideon Jura, the Planeswalker, was born by surviving an attack his friends couldn’t.

Kytheon Iora, the Irregular, was killed by taking the burden too heavy for another.

Please continue about your business