This Whole Situation Is Very Funny

this whole situation is very funny

credit to @cryptvokeeper for the idea!

RIP Vine †

mha meets bob's burger, enjoy

Abridged version of this moment that broke my heart.

Hotlinks to all Tables: A complete list of every trinket table for quicker access compared to scrolling through the entire blog or sifting through the archive. This also functions as the easiest link to reblog or save for reference purposes as it’s updated with each new table. Now with 127 full d100 loot tables, category specific rolling tables a working rollable Omni Loot Table.

—Note: The links sometimes don’t work on mobile devices or some apps. Try using a desktop or browser extensions if they aren’t working. 

-The Omni Loot Table: A loot meta-table that allows the user to roll randomly on the 127 tables this blog has collected. This grants a DM literally millions of unique trinkets, equipment and items that players can find to enrich their world and playing experience.

-Character Creation Loot Generator: This generator creates an sample of five trinkets, curiosities and loot, pulled from a wide list of other tables that is meant to provide the player with some items to encourage engaging roleplaying with perhaps a minor boon to the odd dice roll. The generator is meant to be used by character’s of Level 1 or higher at character creation to help them with ideas of what their character have been or have done.

-All Unique Armors: Splint mail, studded leather and sturdy shields of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive armors that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Armors, 1

-Unique Armors, 2

-Masterwork Armor Bonuses: Over a dozen homebrew armor improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary armor would not be considered “magic” or “+1” objects. 

-All Unique Minor Magic Weapons: A collection of flavorful weapons of artifact level quality suitable for low level characters. Much like the Minor Weapon Enchantments that some of them draw inspiration from, they provide small bonuses and combat options that are restrained by limited uses, niche situations or come with risky drawbacks. 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 1

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 2

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 3 

-Unique Minor Magic Weapons, 4

-Minor Weapon Enchantments: A collection of minor bonuses that are weaker than a standard +1 weapons, as they come with trade-offs, risks, prerequisites, limited uses or niche benefits. These enchantments provide feat-like bonuses, low level class abilities, modify damage types, provide short bursts of power or replicate the effects of low levels spells. Rollable Minor Weapon Enchantments Table. 

-Random Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Minor Weapon Enchantment.

-All Minor Magical Items: Semi useful magical objects (If not always useful to an adventurer) that have little to no drawbacks associated with their use and are perfect for low level characters.

-Minor Magic Items, 1    /   -Minor Magic Items, 2

-Minor Magic Items, 3    /   -Minor Magic Items, 4

-Minor Magic Items, 5

-All Unique Weapons: Blades, bludgeons and bows of all shapes, sizes and mysterious backgrounds. Distinctive weapons that can serve as the basis for family heirlooms, legendary artifacts and magical or masterwork weapons.

-Unique Weapons, 1   /   -Unique Weapons, 2

-Unique Weapons, 3   /    -Unique Weapons, 4

-Unique Weapons, 5   /    -Unique Weapons, 6

-Unique Weapons, 7   /   -Unique Weapons, 8

-Unique Weapons, 9   /   -Unique Weapons, 10 

-Unique Weapons, 11   /   -Unique Weapons, 12 

-Unique Weapons, 13   /    -Unique Weapons, 14

-Unique Weapons, 15   /    -Unique Weapons, 16

-Unique Weapons, 17

-Masterwork Weapon Bonuses: Over 20 homebrew weapon improvements, enhancements and modifications created though superior craftsmanship. These masterpieces though more powerful than ordinary weapons would not be considered “magic” or “+1” weapons. Compatible with Pathfinder, D&D 5e and other D20 systems. Rollable Masterwork Bonus Table

-Running the Numbers: On Balancing Homebrew Masterwork Weapon Bonuses

-Random Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Random Unique Weapon + Random Masterwork Weapon Bonus.

-Wild Magic Surges: A collection of Wild Surge options for DMs and PCs who find the published tables limiting, repetitive or boring, three things wild magic by definition, should never be. Rollable Wild Magic Surge Table.

Unique Metamagic Options: The practice of learning, preparing and casting spells is often considered Art rather than religious fervour, academic knowledge or inborn skill. An expanded list of metamagic options for PC’s and DM’s to use in their games and as a resource for other tables on this blog. More than just a list of effects, each Metamagic option hopes to provide a vivid description of exactly how the caster is deliberately warping the nature of the spell to achieve their goal. Rollable Unique Metamagic Options.

-All Sealed Glass Vials: Faulty potions, weak elixirs, alchemical supplies, spell components, ritual elements, enchanting materials, crafting ingredients and magically preserved biological samples.

-Sealed Glass Vials, 1   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 2

-Sealed Glass Vials, 3   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 4

-Sealed Glass Vials, 5   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 6

-Sealed Glass Vials, 7   /    -Sealed Glass Vials, 8 

-Sealed Glass Vials, 9

-All Books: An eclectic library of dusty tomes, fictional textbooks, pocketbooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, booklets, leaflets and magical manuals.  

-Trinkets, Books, 1   /   -Trinkets, Books, 2 

-Trinkets, Books, 3   /   -Trinkets, Books, 4

-Trinkets, Books, 5   /    -Trinkets, Books, 6

-Trinkets, Books, 7   /    -Trinkets, Books, 8 

-Trinkets, Books, 9 

-All Rings: Enough rings and bands to wear three on every finger and toe while still having dozens to spare. These small circular pieces of gems, metal, wood or bone always add more to the story than the sum of their parts. 

-Trinkets, Rings, 1   /    -Trinkets, Rings, 2

-Trinkets, Rings, 3

Crowns, Circlets, and Coronets: Resting on the noble head of the mighty king or regal queen are the physical manifestations of their wealth and power. The symbols of their right to rule, these various headdresses are often tailor made to serve as metaphor for the monarch’s personality or that of their kingdom. 

-Crowns, Circlets, and Coronets, 1

-All Cloaks: A collection of unique descriptions of cloaks for DM’s to give to their players as magical or mundane loot and for players to use during character creation to help flesh out their personal style.

-Cloaks, 1

-All Necklaces: Pendants, amulets, lockets, chokers and other “Neck Slot” jewelry that grant an immediate glance into the bearer’s personality, wealth, rank or social class and often serves as an iconic part of that character’s look. While a locked metal torque can instantly mark the bearer a penniless slave and a string of lustrous pearls mark their owner a flauntingly wealthy noble, so can an adventurer’s necklace mark them as a creature to bestow quests upon.

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 1   /   -Trinkets, Necklaces, 2

-Trinkets, Necklaces, 3

-All Artifacts: Artist masterpieces, rare magics and opulent combinations of jewels and precious metals. These objects can be found in the throne rooms of kings, the demiplanes of archmages and the pinnacle of a dragon’s hoard.

-Trinkets, Artifacts, 1

-All Valuables: More useful than regular trinkets, these items have either a clear purpose, a reliable ability or are made from a fairly costly material.  

-Trinkets, Valuable, 1   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 2 

-Trinkets, Valuable, 3   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 4

-Trinkets, Valuable, 5   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 6

-Trinkets, Valuable, 7   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 8

-Trinkets, Valuable, 9   /   -Trinkets, Valuable, 10

-Trinkets, Valuable, 11

-All Trinkets: Interesting baubles or semi magical items that have little to no practical in game or mechanical use for an adventurer.

-Trinkets, First

-Trinkets, 1   /   -Trinkets, 2   /   -Trinkets, 3

-Trinkets, 4   /   -Trinkets, 5   /   -Trinkets, 6

-Trinkets, 7   /   -Trinkets, 8   /   -Trinkets, 9

-Trinkets, 10   /   -Trinkets, 11   /   -Trinkets, 12

-Trinkets, 13   /   -Trinkets, 14   /   -Trinkets, 15

-Trinkets, 16   /   -Trinkets, 17   /   -Trinkets, 18

-Trinkets, 19   /   -Trinkets, 20   /   -Trinkets, 21 

-Trinkets, 22   /   -Trinkets, 23   /   -Trinkets, 24

-Trinkets, 25   /   -Trinkets, 26   /   -Trinkets, 27 

-Trinkets, 28   /   -Trinkets, 29   /   -Trinkets, 30

-Trinkets, 31   /   -Trinkets, 32   /   -Trinkets, 33

-Trinkets, 34   /   -Trinkets, 35   /   -Trinkets, 36

-Trinkets, 37   /   -Trinkets, 38   /   -Trinkets, 39

-Trinkets, 40   /   -Trinkets, 41   /   -Trinkets, 42

-Trinkets, 43   /   -Trinkets, 44   /   -Trinkets, 45

-Trinkets, 46   /   -Trinkets, 47   /   -Trinkets, 48

-Trinkets, 49   /   -Trinkets, 50

-All Worthless Trinkets: Vaguely interesting garbage, vendor trash and junk loot. Not magical or mysterious like regular trinkets or worth anything more than a copper piece or two even if you could find someone to buy it in the first place.

-Trinkets, Worthless, 1   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 2 

-Trinkets, Worthless, 3   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 4

-Trinkets, Worthless, 5   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 6

-Trinkets, Worthless, 7   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 8

-Trinkets, Worthless, 9   /   -Trinkets, Worthless, 10 

-All Mottos: Whether they’re called adages, maxims or creeds, these simple statements are essentially promises made to oneself, family, or institution. A character’s motto can be a goal in itself or a moral anchor that centers his life and guides his action. A mixed collection of real life and fictional mottos that can aid a DM to quickly expand the history of the campaign or to aid a PC in a richer character creation.

-Mottos, 1   /   -Mottos, 2   /   -Mottos, 3

-Mottos, 4   /   -Mottos, 5   /   -Mottos, 6

-Mottos, 7   /   -Mottos, 8   /   -Mottos, 9

-Mottos, 10   /   -Mottos, 11   /    -Mottos, 12

-Battle Cries: Simplistic and bone chilling warcries, complex and inspiring calls to arms and primal wordless screams of rage that shakes the enemy down to their iron-shod boots. A collection of simple phrases, threats, insults and violent promises for creatures to yell before and during combat to add verbal spice to each attack.

-Battle Cries, 1   /   -Battle Cries, 2   /   -Battle Cries, 3

-Battle Cries, 4   /   -Battle Cries, 5  /   -Battle Cries, 6

-Battle Cries, 7

-All Reference Tables: When a trinket calls for a Random Weapon, Random Color or Random Godly Domain and you can’t think of one offhand, just go here and either roll a die or select one of your own choosing.

—Keep reading for all reference and resource tables.

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Fun Fact: This entire scene (plus the end credit scene) was completely improvised