I've Fallen In Love With The Sooslet ;-;

I've fallen in love with the Sooslet ;-;

Where is that user who drowns posts in water when we need them?

lord the peasants are so loud today

I'm going to take a shot at transcription:

BILL'S EXES A fully blacked out and burned section that will have a QR code launching to a website where Bill details his various brief disastrous attempts at romance, as well as embarrassing drunk texts from his flip phone. (Bill still has a flip phone, the Henchmaniacs all make fun of him about it)

BILL'S MYSTERIOUS ORIGINS Bill will offer several competing backstories about where he originally came from, which will be equally ridiculous and contradictory. It will be clear that this is a sore spot for Bill, and his inability to talk about it will reveal a weak spot in the all powerful demon. He will want to change the subject, and will change it to-

BILL DRUNK TEXTING FORD FROM A FLIP PHONE HAS ME FUCKING GONE AND THE HENCHMANIACS MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR IT

I found evidence of an old storyline I did as a kid! Poor Samantha wasn't even from the sector when she was arrested for Big Crime (I can't recall what the crime was but it was Big).

I gotchu

why did you do it