Princesscvvmm - Of - Cherriepod

I love you guys, the community, the support you’ve shown me, the way you interact with me and stick up for me & helped create a safe space 🩷

However, I need to get real with myself. I think I’m sick. In the head, like badly. I have found myself sacrificing everything from sleeping, eating, drinking, taking care of myself properly, in order to get off or consume ‘adult material’. I’m talking 8+ hours of doing this per night. It’s not healthy for me in any way.

I have always said I don’t have an addictive personality but when’s it’s 6am and I’ve spent all night doing this and ignoring other responsibilities + work at 9am with no sleep, it feels like a fucking awful addiction that doesn’t make me feel good. Why would it? I’m ignoring the literal basic needs to function as a human. My brain gets tunnel vision but it’s for days. It’s made real-life intimacy and my self-image challenging as well. If I was really telling the truth then I’d confess I think this is an ADHD self-soothing thing, with some trauma ✨ in there too.

Sorry this post isn’t hot haha. But I have to admit it does feel good finally getting to kick myself off here rather than tumblr doing it for me 😂

I might keep this up, I might delete it entirely, it might be a break until I find a healthy way to express myself without it taking over and negatively impacting my life and self image.

If you feel like you’re in a similar position then I’d encourage you to analyse your behaviour and see if you need to change anything.

I will, however, be plugging my OF one last time, because it has to stay up, as I’m partially financially dependant on it. I would really appreciate any support on there if you enjoy/ed my posts and content. I often do sales and trials etc if you’re not in a position to sub but would like to 🩷

Love you lots ❤️

uhm.. yeah..

💔

I know it sounds silly but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this sexually rejected and unattractive in my life.

How am I supposed to feel when 75% of the time I get turned down by people, and when I actually dress up and try to take an opportunity to put on lingerie I still get turned down?:’)

I feel like I really hate myself right now. My self esteem is dead haha. I know absolutely no one owes me sex etc but damn like am I actually repulsive? 💔

I’m sat here looking at ozempic trying to figure out if this is where I’m going wrong like do I actually need to reignite my toxic food issues? Smh I hate it here