Addiction - Tumblr Posts

You know, I remember where all this started. It begun when I was building muscle and wanted to eat healthier. Then it turned into counting calories because I wasn’t losing fat and gaining muscle as fast as I would’ve liked. Then it was calorie counting that slowly morphed into an eating schedule. After that, feeling extremely fatigued and hungry because I worked out too much and needed to eat. A lot. Then it was the self-disgust. Then the first day when i fasted. 24 hours. I remember the happiness I felt. And the hunger that came that morning. I binged, and then I purged because hey, it could work right? And now I’m this. I hate this. But I’m so addicted to it.

I'm so tired,

So fucking tired.

I want a reason to change

Because I can't change myself.

I loathe myself.

And refuse to treat it better.

I've never known to do anything,

But self destruct.

So give me a reason to change,

For the better.

Please!

Without hurting anyone in the process.

"Attachments were for addicts. People who craved the presence of others, for people who couldn’t even deal with themselves. Attachments were for people who couldn’t grasp control. Couldn’t tell their feelings to just fuck off, to just swallow them down like acidic poison, because that was the better option. That was the way to survive."

from -Dried Flower Leaves- by amourgcf

Addiction

I take in a deep breath. I can do this, I tell myself. I shouldn’t give in, I won’t give in. I have restrained myself for weeks now, even the withdrawal symptoms have faded. I have moved on. Or so I thought. It takes just one look, one look and I am back right where I had started. Everything has been for nothing – the self control, the discipline. There is right, there is wrong and then there is…

View On WordPress

I feel as if I am still an addict, I just replaced one thing for another, a bottle for a blade, I'm not depressed just need to feel a rush, to feel alive or have some sense of meaning.

I should not have to debate with myself over whether the rush is worth the anger I shall receive.

Dear, I may be losing it I wish you were here. You may make me feel alive again I haven't felt that rush of being truly alive and happy in years. I think my butterflies have become moths yearning for some sense of light in my life.

Primrose

Everliving and Youthful

Your image that of Beatrice,

Heavenly, resembling of the days gone

But there is no regret up here, my Dear

Our likes sometimes Daft and Daredevil,

Yet Your presence to me never sufficient

As You are my life’s only elixir, my Dear

Death himself walked the Earth today and

Damned us both, my Dear

But I will never let go of You

Place Your faith in me as You pledge to me

The remainder of Your living moments

The Earth is crumbling at our fingertips, My Dear

My life mustn’t go on any further as I can’t

Bear Your absence

So I shall leave You with the kiss of Death,

For now.

May our fantasies end the plague, my Dear

And may You return to me

You always return, in Spring, kindred to

The Primroses that line Eden’s Garden

This is my fan fiction book. I can't stop writing in it, I've been writing since 9:00 and its 12:30... I have no life

to feel your touch, your body, against mine

could feel so good as if it were a crime ♡

tear them apart.

Addiction is terrifying. Love can’t even save you.

// (via lnfinitelyfucked)

Wanna be high all the time but this life... Damn, I hate it

I just know realized it's 5am, and I'm still playing Sims 3, do you wanna know when I started playing? AT 7:40 (APROX) PM. I'VE BEEN PLAYING FOR ABOUT 10 HOURS. SEND HELP PLS

Its difficult to express what i’m feeling ngl…

I've wanted to create an Amy Winehouse piece for a very long time, her music/lyrics and style have always inspired me. Recently someone messaged me on my tumblr telling me that they would like to see an illustration of Amy in my style, this compelled me to finally create something.   

"Back To Black" In loving memory, Amy Winehouse tattoo vignette design illustrated by Christian Cimoroni. R.I.P Amy.

can we talk about recovering from a porn addiction? can we talk about the self doubt and hatred and guilt that comes out of it? can we talk about it being incredibly lonely and isolating? can we talk about how going down that path rewires your brain and now you are working incredibly hard to set it back to normal? can we talk about some of the things that we are incredibly ashamed of doing at our lows, so we can recover from it? please, destigmatize porn addicts, and help recovery. it is a real addiction.

I have wanted to say this for awhile and now I’m going to say it.

By saying that Rey’s parents sold her into slavery to protect her in TRoS they went from drunks/addicts looking for their next fix that did something morally reprehensible for their addiction on one level or another we could understand that they were sick and while being sick didn’t justify or make them selling their daughter into slavery any less horrific we have real world examples of people doing horrible things that they normally wouldn’t do to feed their addictions.

Now instead of being addicts with a terrible, yet sadly understandable, excuse they knowingly and willfully sell their daughter into slavery to “protect” her from Sidious and those searching for her; knowing full well that she would be starved, beaten and might meet an early death due to mistreatment. It’s just as morally reprehensible as before the retcon without the understanding that they were sick and their addictions were more important than their child.

Honestly I prefer the alcoholic/drug addicts parents to the supposed noble parents that sacrificed themselves for her.

If they wanted to make her parents noble they SHOULD have had her parents leave her with another couple and after some time the couple she had been left with sold her for money to feed their addictions.

There, you have noble parents yet don’t make them horrible parents by having them be the ones that sold her into slavery.

I am not justifying addicts behavior in any way; just saying that when you’re addicted you do things that you normally wouldn’t do to feed it.

Him -You can pretend baby that you don't want me but you are wet for me.

Just getting fatter and fatter - because daddy makes me eat and get drunk

Already wasted in the morning