Pike: I Have No Respect For Santa. Dont Sneak In Through The Chimney And Undermine My Authority By Bringing

Pike: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my crew presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Next SNW episode when Kirk comes on board the crew should bust into another status report song and dance. Kirk asks “Did we hit another one of those subspace anomalies?” and Pike completely deadpan informs him “No, we rehearsed this.”

Hugh: Okay so as you may have heard, Aidra is non binary.

Hugh: And if anyone fails to accept this fact

Hugh: I am going to identify as a Threat :)

Micheal: Why are you smiling?

Paul: What? Can’t I just be happy?

Tilly: Liutenant Tyler tripped and fell in the cafeteria

Spock: Yum, thanks

Giorgio, trying to duct tape his mouth: What the fuck stop eating it

Star Trek Discovery characters as shit my teachers have said to me during exam prep

(If you can correctly guess the subjects of the teachers you win...something)

Georgiou: "I think for excellence you need more slurs"

Micheal: "I want to see the light leave your eyes"

Saru: "Listen, if you're going to invade rome, do it next period."

Pike: "You'd better start writing with that pen or I'll stick it where the sun don't shine-"

Paul: "Yeah, children are STDs. But do you know what else are? Werewolves."