Pyxieboy - Atlas - Tumblr Blog

They looked like husbands.

Tim has to go to work, menwhile Hawk is in his day off.

I miss them.

okay, but

Another Shitty post

Basically Captain Pike had a bit too much coffee and has been awake for about 82 hours 😬

Next SNW episode when Kirk comes on board the crew should bust into another status report song and dance. Kirk asks “Did we hit another one of those subspace anomalies?” and Pike completely deadpan informs him “No, we rehearsed this.”

serious question, tommy definitely says “make love” right? like he fucks, 100%. but he also makes love, you know?

Spock: Yum, thanks

Giorgio, trying to duct tape his mouth: What the fuck stop eating it

*on leave*

Grey: Paul, where are you?

Paul: On my way home from the store, why?

Grey: You took me to the store with you.

Paul:

Paul: Shit.

Paul: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?

Hugh: I have a list. It’s alphabetized.

Paul: Yeah, I've probably hit rock bottom.

Paul: But my husband is here so it's fine :)

Paul: I'm at loss for words.

Hugh: Despite being at loss for words, Paul proceeded to yell at the crew for 45 minutes.

Captain Pike, to himself: I don’t think I can snap, crackle, pop my way out of this one

Saru trying to impress the Crew with a magic trick: pick any card

Book: okay!

Saru: not my credit card

Adira: Okay, so.

Adira: [points at Georgiou] Gaslight

Adira: [points at Jett] Gatekeep

Adira: [points at Micheal] Girlboss

Hugh: I think I got it

Hugh: [points at paul] Medical Malpractice Malewife!

Star Trek Discovery characters as shit my teachers have said to me during exam prep

(If you can correctly guess the subjects of the teachers you win...something)

Georgiou: "I think for excellence you need more slurs"

Micheal: "I want to see the light leave your eyes"

Saru: "Listen, if you're going to invade rome, do it next period."

Pike: "You'd better start writing with that pen or I'll stick it where the sun don't shine-"

Paul: "Yeah, children are STDs. But do you know what else are? Werewolves."

Hugh: Okay so as you may have heard, Aidra is non binary.

Hugh: And if anyone fails to accept this fact

Hugh: I am going to identify as a Threat :)

Paul: Seriously, I have no idea what to do.

Paul: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.

Georgiou: I failed my safety training course today.

Pike: Why, what happened?

Georgiou: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Pike: And?

Georgiou: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Micheal: *pitches an idea*

Pike, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Saru, under his breath: Yeah, a lawsuit.

Tilly: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Micheal, as she walks past: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Tilly: ...Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Paul, not looking up: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Pike: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my crew presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Micheal: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Georgiou way.

Saru: Isn't that the wrong way?

Micheal: Yes, but it's faster.

HUgh: I’m not a doctor I’m a medic.

Paul: What’s the difference then?

Hugh: Well doctors actually save lives, medics just make you feel more comfortable as you die.

Paul: Note to self; never get shot.

Micheal: Why are you smiling?

Paul: What? Can’t I just be happy?

Tilly: Liutenant Tyler tripped and fell in the cafeteria

Detmer: You've all heard of elf on the shelf, now get ready for-

Detmer: *placing a pot on Pauls's head* A thot in a pot

Paul:

Paul: *getting up from his seat* Get ready for a bitch in a ditch because that's where you're gonna find your body, you little fu-