*on Leave*

*on leave*

Grey: Paul, where are you?

Paul: On my way home from the store, why?

Grey: You took me to the store with you.

Paul:

Paul: Shit.

okay, but

Georgiou: I failed my safety training course today.

Pike: Why, what happened?

Georgiou: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Pike: And?

Georgiou: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Star Trek Discovery characters as shit my teachers have said to me during exam prep

(If you can correctly guess the subjects of the teachers you win...something)

Georgiou: "I think for excellence you need more slurs"

Micheal: "I want to see the light leave your eyes"

Saru: "Listen, if you're going to invade rome, do it next period."

Pike: "You'd better start writing with that pen or I'll stick it where the sun don't shine-"

Paul: "Yeah, children are STDs. But do you know what else are? Werewolves."

Pike: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my crew presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Paul: I'm at loss for words.

Hugh: Despite being at loss for words, Paul proceeded to yell at the crew for 45 minutes.