Hi Bitches!! I Need Your Wisdom; I Recently Accepted A Job Offer For A Job I Did Not Want To Do (a Customer

Hi bitches!! I need your wisdom; I recently accepted a job offer for a job I did not want to do (a customer service specialist for a bank) that doesn’t start until late November. However, I recently was offered a position that I do want at a different company that starts next week. Is there a polite way to rescind my acceptance of the bank job when I’ve already started signing papers?

YES, CHILD! Don’t hesitate. Talk to Job A right away and tell them Job B has just made you a better offer. That way they’ll have time to replace you before November. Here’s a script:

“I apologize for the inconvenience, but I’m going to have to back out of my employment with [Job A]. I’ve just been made a better offer by [Job B] beginning much sooner, and I am not in a financial position to refuse. I regret that we won’t be able to work together, but I appreciate your understanding. Thank you for the opportunity.”

I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up? 

How to Quit a Job: Giving Notice with Dignity, Poise, and Tastefully Subtle Shade 

A small guide to anyone that’s feeling overwhelmed and want to clear out their mind. Hope this helps :) Stay safe and hope you have a lovely day/night 

Charles Simic, ‘Totemism’, from Dime-Store Alchemy: The Art of Joseph Cornell

Sometimes its the only way for your pride to come out. And what enters, is humility.

hey! could i ask you some advice on how to network in grad school? i also have to pick a research group and idk how to do that either. I'm pretty much on the introverted anxious-wreck side and i don't know how to approach profs and senior students. how was it for you in your first year of grad? x

Hi there! 

Here’s my top advice on networking in grad school:

Create a LinkedIn account. This really should be a necessity nowadays, because it’s the best way to stay connected on a professional level; no other platform allows you to quickly (and passively, which is great for introverts) see what company people are at right now, etc. So create an account, stay active on it, and use it to form and maintain your connections. I quite literally landed my industry job out of my PhD via LinkedIn. 

Get to know the other grad students--not just in your immediate cohort, but also older grad students, younger grad students, grad students from other programs, etc. They will be your colleagues, now and forever. Same goes with anyone else you come into contact with, including post-docs, research techs, professors, etc. If approaching older students/professors is intimidating, just start with your classmates. Any connection is a good connection. Joining any events your program or the grad college offers (like volunteering) is also a great casual way to meet people. You don’t have to become BFF’s with them--just know them enough so they’ll remember who you are when you add them on LinkedIn!

An under-appreciated place to network are poster sessions. Check out my post about “Networking at conferences” for more info (and to read other tips I have there). Not sure when in-person conferences will return in the world of Covid, but it doesn’t hurt to keep them in the back of your mind. 

Informational interviews are great informal ways to learn more about a job or company. I did one over the phone with a program alumnus who was working at a company I had hoped to join after graduating, and here are the questions I asked him: Possible questions to ask during an informational interview

Keep in touch using LinkedIn messaging, or email. Phone calls and in-person meetings stress me out too, so I much prefer written communication where I can re-write my message to my heart’s content. Keep in touch with past professors, mentors, and just anyone who has helped you by sending brief updates on your life, holiday greetings, etc. 

If you don’t know how to approach someone, asking for their advice is always a good route to take. People love talking about themselves and doling out personal advice on what they’re most experienced about. So sending an email like, “I’ve just applied to this position at your company--do you think it’s a good fit for me and what advice would you offer if I move forward with interviews?” or even just “I want to be in your shoes someday; what advice can you give me?” stuff like that. (Also great for job interviews when you have a few more minutes to kill lol. I love asking: “So what was your path like to this company?” and then sit back and relax for a good 5 min.)

Here are some other masterposts of mine to check out for general grad school advice, including posts on picking research groups peppered in (some may have links that repeat themselves):

Post #1 

Post #2

Post #3

As for what my first year was like, it’s in my FAQ page (if you scroll down to “What’s grad school like?”. In general it was a whirlwind of just trying to learn a million things at once, but I took it a day at a time :) I was lucky to have a great support group in my cohort, grad program, friends, and then eventual thesis lab. 

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. Best of luck during your grad journey!

You'll get more chances. At friendships. At relationships. At job/school related progress. At following your dreams. At chasing your passions. It's not now or never. There will always be other chances and other opportunities.