"whyd You Draw Andre So Dark" I Do Whatever I Want Bleehh

"whyd you draw andre so dark" i do whatever i want bleehh👅👅

My friend had made an intro and it gave me the idea to make one myself since i havent really introduced myself...?

I'm Dominick / Domi, nicknames are fine too

I'm into a few things but I guess my main are Aliens, Clowns, Video Games, Music. Some games I'm more into are Ace Attorney, Regretevator, Your Turn To Die, and others can't remember then all...

My favorite artists / bands are Yaelokre, Pierce The Veil, McCafferty, Set It Off, Get Scared, Mindless Self Indulgence, Ricky Montgomery, Moddern Baseball, Car Seat Headrest, Friday Pilots Club, Jeff Buckley, The Garden, Gorillaz, The Hoosiers & The Front Bottoms

A few fun facts about me are...

I'm 18 !

I like writing...I've written so far about 16 Zero Day stories, and a few from other fandoms I enjoy !! (Such as Ace Attorney)

Some of my favorite movies would be Encanto, Coco, Brokeback Mountain, Legally Blonde, Howls Moving Castle, Zodiac, Zero Day, Elephant (2003), & Jigsaw

Youtubers I like to watch are Kubz Scouts, Caseoh, ManlyBadassHero, & Papa Meat / Meatcanyon

And I'm not TCC, though I interact with some members I do not condone any of their actions nor like them

I don't remember what else really so that's kinda it..

im gonna always think back to when i immediately knew two of my friends were dating because IM ALWAYS RIGHT

OOMF YOURE SO AWESOME

ARMY OF TWO

(this was inspired/directly referenced from my friend @cal4hysteria’s drawing…he’s cool)

Zero Day // May These Noises Startle You In Your Sleep Tonight

Counting sheeps, watching the twinkling stars shimmer in the blue night sky, it was all pointless, in the end, Calvin could never put himself to sleep. It had been like this for as long as he can remember, the first sighting of his night terrors was when he was a little boy, shouting and screaming for his parents to help him because he witnessed a monster.

It was always the same creature, an 11 feet tall, gray as a foggy morning, and disturbing monster that watched him the second he were to close his eyes. It did as much as any monster, it vanished without a trace and only jumped at him when he least expected it, it ran at him like some blood hungry beast, and its screams were loud and sharp enough to shatter multiple windows in an instant.

No matter what Calvin did, no matter how old he got, he could never shake away the monster from coming into his dreams every night, startling him and causing him to go hysterical once he woke up.

This monster, all of it was what gave Calvin these disturbing and disgusting thoughts, he slit his wrists and shoulders with a blade all for the monster, he forced himself to throw up even the slightest of food when he woke up because of that monster.

It was a horror show, it was something Calvin’s parents never saw or noticed until he got more extreme, at times, they would even check up on him every 15 minutes to make sure he didn’t wake up, even as he got older.

No matter how much he screamed for help or clawed at his skin for any form of assistance, nothing would ever get rid of this massive creature that seeped into his mind little by little. All the beast saw in Calvin was a heap of flesh and guts, blood so red it made all other shades feel inferior. He was just a child in a graveyard, walking around the world like some sickly thing, but he was real, at least he hoped he was.

Calvin was his own devastation, wanting nothing more than to peel at his own skin and reveal all that he was, he wanted to rid himself like rotten meat and pray he was never himself again. It was putrid, it was such nauseating thoughts, but it was the only thing that seemed to calm him down in a way.

He’d care less about being abandoned or knifed at the teeth so he would never speak again, he’d do anything to get rid of himself and whatever was tormenting him in his very head.

Even after meeting his new friend, Kriegman, his current friend, Rachel, only saw him as someone dangling on a leash while its owner dragged him away to wherever he pleased. He was humiliated, he felt that his own flesh was caused solely from humiliation.

Kriegman, Andre, was far different than any person in Calvin’s life. Neither of them were popular, but they had close enough friends to not be considered alone, and yet, no matter who he spent time with, Calvin still felt lonely. Andre seemed to be the only one who saved him from such loneliness.

The more he thought of Andre, the more his imaginations dissipated and were replaced by nothing except Andre himself, the one who supposedly saved him from such life sucking thoughts.

For that, Calvin was practically Andre’s right hand man, allowing him to take the lead sometimes and supporting every little decision he made. He was nothing but a mere fruit, a pomegranate if he will, he looked so beautiful on the outside and rather lovely, but would anyone truly open his heart and wonder if he really was worth the trouble?

Would Andre be the one to try him and see that no matter how hard he was to open up, he would still be willing to try it after all?

Even after creating Zero Day and discussing all the steps, Andre never left him, he never thought twice for talking to him the day they first met, he didn’t abandon Calvin even after his multiple discussions of destroying himself and his attempts.

Andre was just as sick and twisted as Calvin, and it only made him grow more mad with wanting more of him. So he did just that, it was a spur of the moment, something he wasn’t planning in that second they were in his bedroom, but he kissed him. 

It was quick and awkward, it was as if Calvin had been possessed, but it left a large impact on Andre, leaving him stunned and frazzled. 

“...Fuck...I...I uhm...just forget...I ever did that...” Calvin had muttered almost immediately, realizing only then that it was a mistake he should have never done. It would end like that, no words exchanged, so snarky remarks, it would end with Andre letting himself out and never turning back to see Calvin’s face.

“Fuck, Andre...I’m...”

It happened so fast, certainly bringing Calvin to a shock when he felt Andre’s lips meeting his own. It was surprising, it was unexpected, it was all Calvin was craving for the moment they became friends.

As quickly as he reciprocated, Calvin dove right down to press Andre against the ground, kissing him furiously as if he was hungry for this. He was, his mind growling in starvation and his lips begging to feel Andre, wanting nothing more than to forget all the terrible things that happened in his life.

His head grew harsher the moment he heard pants, even moaning in Andre’s mouth as their lips moved together. If this was some dream he was having, he would never want to wake up, but this was true, it was real and Calvin was more than overjoyed to feel such wondrous feelings with Andre.

But after that, after multiple days the two spent together, Calvin had not heard a single mention of that night, or anything regarding what they did together. As days turned to weeks, to the few days left before their big plan, Andre had not said a single thing about their kiss, almost as if he was trying to make it seem like it never happened.

But he wanted him to know, Calvin wanted to make Andre remember and he wanted to make sure he kept that in his head at all times, even as he stood up in front of the microphone to speak in front of a small crowd, his eyes only stayed focus on Andre, who was looking at him strangely the very second he stepped up. 

Two Boys

We watch as the fire lights up furiously at the camp, wondering what has become of us

What we are? Nothing but rubbish as we feel our bodies engulfed in the flames

How much longer must we pretend, how tiresome the days get with no more excitement

Wallowing in the bits and moments that burn, what more can I do?

These sinful thoughts, those putrid shouts,

Would I let it bother my time with you?

Eaten or rotten, I’d rather grow rotten in the arms that saved me

I will be the witness in your gruesome story, I will force an angel to give me more love

I will be the bullet you shoot because I am nothing without a gun, without you

We both know we weren’t searching, but I’m glad to be found and I’m glad I found you

...

“Calvin, what the fuck. What were you thinking?! Going up on that stage...saying...whatever the fuck you just said, what the fuck?!”

What was he thinking? It was exhilarating, it was breathtaking, this was the rush he was looking for, that was the feeling he knew he was missing. In that moment, nothing mattered, the audience didn’t matter, what he said didn’t matter, not even the beast that held him back since forever, the second he turned to Andre, he knew that this was the thing he was missing.

“Andre, wasn’t that awesome?! Holy shit...holy shit!” Calvin said with such excitement in his voice, he was seconds away from jumping in glee after he finished his poem. It didn’t even matter if Andre yelled at him or what he thought of the poem, he was so glad he did it.

Maybe then Andre would realize how much he meant to Calvin.

“...Andre? What’s wrong, you’re quiet.”

A few days had already passed since Calvin’s poem incident, and more than enough time since the kiss the two shared. Now, Calvin watched as Andre drove to the school, his face stoic and his mouth silent.

Calvin knew something was wrong, he always did, the two always seemed to know when something was bothering the other, no matter how much they tried to hide it from each other. They were dogs, of course, loyal to each other and capable of seeing when one wasn’t feeling well.

“...Hm? Oh...uhm...it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

He nodded, but he didn’t let it go immediately, he’d rather wait it out until they reached the school. And wait he did, because as soon as they got inside and heard the students scream and run after spotting the guns in their hands, the thought that ran around in his head did not go away just yet.

The two were so similar to each other, yet different in the way that during their firing, Andre was simply finding students and shooting at them, whereas for Calvin, he thought it would be a little fun to play around with the prey beforehand.

Everyone he saw, every person he recognized, he laughed and mocked them, he shouted for them to stop just before killing them, standing over them and thinking back to the moments he was ruined by them. It was frightening, to see a sight such as this, it only worsened his imaginations more, feeling and sensing that same monster that tormented his entire life.

He turned to Andre, his chest rising and falling with such force, but he continued to say nothing the entire time they were in the school. It was frustrating, Calvin was infuriated to see how much Andre had changed.

“Andre, jesus. What’s going on, why are you acting so weird? This was your plan, wasn’t it?”

“...”

Calvin grew angry. “Andre! Stop being fucking quiet and just tell me what’s wrong!”

“Why are you pretending that our dynamic never changed? Why are you here, screaming at these dickheads as if what we did that day was so normal!”

He was dumbfounded, confused even, if Andre were referring to that day, why was he coming after him?

“We shouldn’t have...kissed. That should have never happened and you know it.”

"What is up with you? You didn't seem to mind it that much when you kissed me back."

He noticed a slight twitch in Andre’s eye, and it only seemed to fuel Calvin up with more frustration.

"I...Calvin. I'm not fucking gay! I don't know why that happened, okay? I shouldn't have kissed you."

“It looked like you did want to kiss me Andre. Why don't you just admit it, you like me and you did like that kiss."

Calvin stepped closer to Andre, meeting him at eye level and talking to him in a tone that he knew his friend wouldn’t like. Andre laughed sarcastically as he let go of his gun, allowing it to drop to the ground, while Calvin still kept his own.

"Jesus fucking christ, Cal! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm. Not. Gay! I don't want anybody knowing we did that, I don't want them seeing we're gay or whatever and find another thing to pick on."

"...So you're scared?"

"YES I'M FUCKING SCARED! I don't want any of those fuck heads finding out about this or they're gonna ruin me! I don't want that for myself!"

Calvin remained quiet, astounded to hear Andre’s response and even more surprised to see what his viewpoint was in all of this. Was it really how he thought it was, was Calvin just playing a fool in this ridiculous play?

"...But what about what I want?! You made it perfectly clear that you don't like me and you don't want anybody knowing about that kiss. How about how I would feel about this!? I stopped caring what others thought about me, so why can't you?! They're all gonna be dead anyways! I don't care if I have to tell them right then and there that I am a faggot!!"

“That poem I shared that day was why I was so certain about this, about us!!”

"We're trying to kill people, not get killed. You can go on ahead and tell the world you're a fag, do whatever the fuck you want, make another fucking poem and say all you want to say, but I'm not risking myself getting caught for kissing you."

In a dream, Calvin saw the two, happily laughing at whatever they said to each other. In some other life, the two did get to experience true teenage love, in a world where they weren’t frowned upon. In his dreams, he and Andre got everything they could ever want.

"This plan was meant for you and I, Andre!! We could've run away somewhere and do whatever the fuck we wanted!? You didn't have to worry about being seen as gay anywhere except here, this was our plan to leaving this shit hole and doing something good with our lives!!"

"STOP LIVING IN A FUCKING FAIRYTALE CALVIN, NONE OF THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN BECAUSE THIS IS REAL LIFE, DON'T YOU GET IT!? WE DON'T HAPPILY EVER AFTER'S, WE DON'T GET TO JUST, RUN FAR AWAY AND LIVE OUR LIVES NORMALLY."

“YOU AND I ARE NOTHING. EVERYONE WHO THOUGHT WE WERE SOMETHING MORE WERE WRONG, THERE’S NO POINT TO ANY OF THIS ANYMORE, SO WHY DON’T YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!-”

...

All Calvin wanted was to be set free from the shackles that held him tightly in his place, he wanted nothing more than to end the putrefying horrors that shake him awake the more he thought about it.

He didn’t mean for things to go far, he didn’t realize how much it would impact him once he was truly living it. Everything they’ve done, everything they accomplished in their lives, it was falling apart because of Calvin’s stupid mistake.

He stood there, traumatized, ruined, everything he just witnessed had actually happened, why couldn’t wake up, why wasn’t he able to shake himself awake in that very moment because this was all just a ridiculous dream.

Calvin never meant to shoot Andre, he never meant to end it there and he never meant for him to die right when he was going to tell him everything he felt. He just got so angry, like something took over his body and took his best friend’s life.

He meant to shoot himself, not him.

He was too angry, too boiled up to even realize what he was doing before it was too late, he watched as Andre stopped speaking, he watched as he turned his eyes to Calvin before falling completely to the ground, the bullet still fresh on his head.

“...Andre...fuck...fuck fuck FUCK!!” Calvin said in a panic, rushing down immediately to see if there was anything, any sign that he was breathing. It was a bullet to the head, but that didn’t mean he was completely dead.

And yet, when he lifted his best friend’s head slowly to see his face, it was over.

The monster who watched him as a kid to even now at seventeen, the one who filled him with disturbing thoughts and phrases, the rage he was feeling in that stupid argument, it was all because of him.

He pushed himself back in fear, his breaths shallow and shaky, tears flowed down his eyes furiously, the voice that told him to do all of those things in his early years, he ruined everything.

And what felt like a final “fuck you” from that same beast, Calvin saw the gun he had used to shoot Andre, fumbling with it as he tried to reach it before finally holding it in his arms. He looked at Andre’s lifeless body one more time and listened to what appeared to be the police barging into the school. He cried out one last time before piercing his head with the bullet, completely unable to erase the horrifying outcome in the few seconds he had left.

His monster had won, after trying for so long to get into Calvin’s mind, he had finally won.

play pretend