How Does Scotland Feel About Shrek? Being Scottish And All

How does Scotland feel about Shrek? Being Scottish and all

Scotland: *stares and blinks slowly before whispering*“Me? Feel about that? Well…I only have one thing to say about…someBODY ONCE TOLD ME-”

England: *shrieks in rage in the distance*

Fuck yeah fart canons🤣

Bruce Wayne x Reader - Relationship Headcanons part 1/?

Already did the goodies here :  Bruce + Batboys headcanons 

As for the rest, here it is. I’m still not sure if I’m doing the “headcanon” thing right…Hope you’ll still like it, especially you anon and you @harlequin-swan : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

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Lips-

How do they kiss?

It always depends on his mood. It can be rough, or sweet. But it’s always the best kiss ever. Every time you think he can’t out-do himself, and yet, every time it becomes more and more amazing. His lips always taste great, the way he massages your tongue with his is always so loving even when a bit rough…His kisses are just the best. All of his kisses.  He’s all for sweet cheeks and forehead kisses. Doesn’t mind much for small PDAs like that, and will kiss your cheeks, forehead, hands in public, to paparazzis’ great pleasure.

What sort of sweet nothings do they whisper?

He would NEVER admit it, but he’s one of the cheesiest person ever. So whispering sweet nothing in your ear ? Definitely. Wether you’re in public (he loves the way your cheek tints of red whenever he whispers something cute), just the two of you cuddling, or making sweet love to each others : 

✶ “I can’t imagine my life without you in it.” ✶ “How do you look so beautiful all the time?” ✶ “You brighten up my day every time I see you. Your laugh…” ✶ “You make my sadness disappear with your beautiful smile” ✶ “You’re the reason my life feels so perfect.” ✶ “You make me believe in soul mates.” ✶ “You make me feel weak in the knees when I touch you.” ✶ “Just hearing your voice in the morning makes my day.” ✶ “ I love you so much I can’t explain it even if I tried.” ✶ “You’re the one thing I’m most thankful for having in my life.” ✶ “I want to kiss every inch of you.” ✶ “You make my sadness disappear with your beautiful smile.” ✶ “I could stare at you forever and I’d still feel like I haven’t had enough of you.” ✶ “Spending time with you is the highlight of my day.” ✶ “You could have any guy in the world, and yet you chose me.” (you always thought that one was wrong, that it was the other way around, but he wouldn’t let you say it…oh no) ✶ “I start my day with you on my mind and end my day with you in my dreams.” (one of his cheesiest line)

Yeah you get it, so many things. He makes sure to always give you knew compliments every day, just to see your slight blush and incredible smile. And when he can make you laugh because of his cheesiness or jokes, then it’s even better. 

What do they like to talk about ?

With you : 

✶ You. You don’t particularly like talking about yourself, but he loves to hear your voice talk about your day, about what you think…It’s soothing to him. Holding you in his arms and you just talking, he loves it. And he always wants to make sure you feel comfortable enough to tell him everything. He hates when you withhold important things from him (if you feel sad, if you have a problem etc etc…). But you guys always say everything to each others. Best friends AND Lovers.  ✶ Your children. It’s always an entertaining subject. Always. Chances are, one of them did something that is worth talking about. ✶ Surprisingly, himself. It’s not that he likes to talk about himself, just like you don’t really like to talk about yourself, in fact, it’s more…he likes to tell you how he feels, especially when he’s not alright, because you always have the right words to make him feel better.  ✶ The future. Your future to the both of you. ✶ Gossiping with you bring him joy. Oh you two always know everything about what’s up with the League’s members and such. Only nice gossips though, you’d never spread rumors, you only talk between the two of you, because you two already suffer enough from lies from medias and such. Damn rumors. But harmless gossiping about Green Arrow being totally dominated by Black Canary ? Hell yes.  ✶ Your and his view of life. It’s always very insightful.  ✶ His childhood. Your childhood. It…Helps often. And tiny Bruce was adorable. You were such a daredevil as a child that your stories are also always great.  ✶ Naughty things. Oh the way you blush, or the way your words are the only thing that can make him blush…It send shivers down his spine.  ✶ Each others’ fears. Because it’s nice to admit he isn’t as emotionless and invincible as everyone seem to think, but he’d admit it only to you. 

With his close friends : 

✶ You.  ✶ His children.  he’ll enjoy talking about you and the kids to his friends. About how great you all are. Only close friends, because he can only endure Clark and Diana’s teasing.  ✶ Them, he also talks about their interest. It’s his friends, he likes to know about them, even if he won’t admit it, acting as if his interest is only polite, even though he genuinely care. When they need him, he’s here to talk.

With everyone else :

He doesn’t like to talk about himself or actual personal stuffs with others . And as a public figure, as the famous Bruce Wayne, he’ll act as if he likes to talk about his company, about his work, about whatever is in fashion, about politics…but really, he doesn’t enjoy any of those conversations. He mostly just like talking about you and his children (as annoying as he can be), but he doesn’t do it in public. His life is no one’s business. 

Can they sing?

No. Oh God he cannot. It’s quite incredible to you really, how great and soothing his voice is when he speaks to you, how much you love listening to him saying whatever…but when he tries to sing it’s just awful. He has no rhythm. He’ll always sing off beat.  But you know what ? You fucking love it. (Someone pointed out to me that he actually can sing very well, and I know. I remember him singing for Diana in “The Justice League” animated show (found the youtube video here :  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncj-wpBhr5E but…man, I just love the idea of him having such a great deep voice and not being able to sing properly…I guess it’s the point of a headcanon :D)

Legs/Butt-

Are they fast?

For a non-meta human, yes. That guy could have run in the olympics really, with all his training and such. Usain Bolt fast yo. Damn long legs. 

How flexible are they?

Bruce isn’t that flexible. He’s all toughness and muscles. Dick is the flexible man in the family, because of his acrobat’s past. Bruce, just like Jason, are more…brute force. Even though they’re master at martial arts, they’re not smooth, they’re not super flexible. They can high kick someone easily, but putting their foot behind their head ? Nope. You however, are very flexible, and he loves it. Useful. 

Will they fart in front of an s/o?

Most people would peg it unthinkable to even imagine the always elegant Bruce Wayne farts but…Oh man. With you he knows he can be himself, and if it means farting and burping in front of you sometimes, then he’ll do it. At first, he was so shy about it, and the day you laughed your ass off because you understood he was leaving your bed, leaving the room to go fart elsewhere, he understood that you didn’t care. Farting contest are a thing between the two of you, and the best thing about it ? Only you guys know.  You hate it though, when you’re comfortably settled against him, wrapped in the blanket, his arms around you,drawing lazy patterns on your back with his fingers, caressing you all over lovingly…only for him to let out a huge smelly fart, to trap you under the blanket so you HAVE TO smell it and for his arms to tighten around you even more, so that you can’t escape ! Damn bastard ! 

A meme

This dork is so precious🖤😭😍🤤😵

Sigma’s karaoke. 

How’s everyone day? ☀️ ☁️