Hetalia Headcanons - Tumblr Posts

More Hetalians as professors.

Ludwig would be a professor of mathematical sciences. A strict but fair teacher. Students would have feared and respected him.

Kiku would be a professor of philosophy, perhaps. He would be the most pleasant, quiet and comfortable one who gives students a break after a hard day. Together with Greece. Philosophy suits these two. And donʼt forget about the fluffy cat on the table of Heracles! It is an additional source of peace and harmony in the audience.

Gilbert would be a professor of chemistry. He would show dangerous experiments with enthusiasm every time and prank his students. He brings a test tube with a bubbling and hissing liquid to your hair with the words “your hair is about to BURN!”. And then your hair just gets a little lighter and he says “oops! Just kidding! Now you know how to lighten hair in practice. They will return to their previous color in two weeks!”.

Feliciano would be a professor of arts. You would draw together and he would be happy to explain everything to you and walk around the room every ten minutes, praising yours drawings. And if something happened, he would immediately run to Ludwig in the classroom to interrupt his lesson. And Ludwig would exempt his students from the lesson on the condition not to tell anyone and to sit quieter than a mouse.

(In FACE Family, I have a headcanon only with Alfred. Physics, you know. But I have absolutely no idea about Matthew, Arthur and Francis...)

I donʼt know who wants to kidnap America and why, but Iʼll tell you that you can use hamburgers as bait. I think he wouldnʼt want to leave if you provided him with fast food and cola. And from time to time you watched horror movies with him (just donʼt forget that you are responsible for the consequences)

Kidnapping America would probably be impossible. First of all, he has the strength of twenty men. He can tear apart any restraints and beat the shit out of the captors.

Drug him up. That's a solution, right? But what about when he wakes up? And how strong does the dosage need to be? As soon as they start to wear off, he'll be angry and ready to escape.

How are you going to hide him from the government? When the authorities are alerted, there will be a massive manhunt. FBI, military helicopters, the whole nine yards.

Also, he'd probably be annoying as hell. Either he's all dramatic and "you can't control the hero!" Or is just the most unserious captive. He'd play along for the bit despite knowing he could escape.

Okay, so I have this theory that the reason Italy loves making special food and treats for Germany so much is because, when Holy Roman Empire was leaving him, Italy said “I’ll miss you! I’ll be waiting! I’ll make you lots of treats for when you get back!”

What if when teaching him he dressed Sealand and himself up as Mounties.

I don’t know why, but I have this headcanon where Canada actually gets super excited and pumped up when he gets to teach anything to anyone. Like if Sealand were to come ask Canada how things work as a nation, I picture Canada like “yes, child, I will teach you the ways of the Canadian”

nono HEAR THEM OUT. HEAR THEM OUT!!!!

The countries are just glorified tourguides

OKAY SO I WAS IN THE MODEL UN RIGHT? Lemme tell you, notes we got in between committees were wild asf. People played tic tac toe, told eachother about screw ups other people made in their respective categories, gossiped like middle aged women in the presence of wine, all on paper.

Point is, this would ABSOLUTELY apply to Hetalia nations.

Imagine the nations just sitting around for a long time while they're gathered for a meeting of some kind and just getting bored. Everything's dull in politics land. But then, someone starts a game of never have I ever on paper. idk how it would work but it has some nations struggling to keep quiet while whoever's talking talks because someone unexpected has apparently gotten heavily intoxicated and committed five crimes in one night, then gotten arrested and needed to be bailed out by the gov.

Headcanon:

Germany is that person that COMPLETELY changes their tone of voice when they call their mom. He be yelling and screaming in the most aggressive tone in world meetings but then he calls his big brother Prussia on the phone and his voice goes from "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE SHITS" to the sweetest softest "Hi Bruder 🥺 Ja I brought my lunchbox don't worry"

reading a delightful little fanfic and it got me thinking: what if all the nations speak their native language all the time, but they're just ✨magically✨ able to understand each other?

Your Hetalia lore tastes like really expensive vanilla bean ice cream. Anyway, do you think Alfred would have made an appearance on a Jackass film? What do you think might have happened if we was there? They know he can’t die so the sky was the limit here.

Oh. My. Fuck.

That boy has no self-preservation. Put him on any stunt show and he'll go crazy. Like he will agree to the craziest stunts with no hesitation and a smile on his face. Like "You want me to do a backflip off of the Statue of Liberty? Sweet!"

I feel like they would love his super strength, and make him do dares and challenges that involve things like lifting cars and breaking out of cement. They'd also probably have him wrestle dangerous animals like gators and tigers.

It would be funny if even they are like concerned for how much crazy shit he's willing to do. Like they probably think "Is this the one that's gonna get us sued?"

To all my fellow Hetalians who also play Obey Me! (Or genuinely anyone who knows of Hetalia and the avid otome game-)

What if Mc was a Nation.(Like the gunuine personification of their country)

And they kept it secret from the brothers.

Said brothers only found out when they were strolling through the Human realm CENTURIES after Mc left the Devildom, only to bump into them and just thinking.

"Why aren't you dEAD!?!"

Lowkey imagine the chaos that ensues when the brothers find out that they're not the only immortal beings who roam the three realms just sayin-

Shoot where did the eyebrows go-

To all my fellow Hetalians who also play Obey Me! (Or genuinely anyone who knows of Hetalia and the avid otome game-)

What if Mc was a Nation.(Like the gunuine personification of their country)

And they kept it secret from the brothers.

Said brothers only found out when they were strolling through the Human realm CENTURIES after Mc left the Devildom, only to bump into them and just thinking.

"Why aren't you dEAD!?!"

Lowkey imagine the chaos that ensues when the brothers find out that they're not the only immortal beings who roam the three realms just sayin-

Hi, I’m Amira from Gaza, 23, and supporting my family after my father’s death. My mother is ill, and our home was destroyed in the shelling🍉🍉.

We are now living in tents. Please help by donating or sharing our campaign link to find safety. Thank you and God bless. 🙏🙏

please help spread and donate if you can!!! free palestine!!!

How does Scotland feel about Shrek? Being Scottish and all

Scotland: *stares and blinks slowly before whispering*“Me? Feel about that? Well…I only have one thing to say about…someBODY ONCE TOLD ME-”

England: *shrieks in rage in the distance*

How does Scotland feel about Shrek? Being Scottish and all

Scotland: *stares and blinks slowly before whispering*“Me? Feel about that? Well…I only have one thing to say about…someBODY ONCE TOLD ME-”

England: *shrieks in rage in the distance*

How does Scotland feel about Shrek? Being Scottish and all

Scotland: *stares and blinks slowly before whispering*“Me? Feel about that? Well…I only have one thing to say about…someBODY ONCE TOLD ME-”

England: *shrieks in rage in the distance*

The other day my sister and I discussed Hetalia characters if they were in the Riordanverse. They would have to be not-countries.

Japan /Honda Kiku is the son of Hephestaus.

Prussia / Gilbert Beilschmidt is son of Ares or Tyr

England / Arthur Kirkland son of Hecate

Scandinavia trio are descendants of Norse gods. My sister and I immediately forgot who would be the godly parents the day after discussion.

Finland/ Timo likes to introduce himself as Timo Väinämöinen, son of Väinämöinen. Only to get interrupted by his friends, "Stop telling everyone you're named after your dad!!" or somethig idk. but that's not actually his last name (in this universe). Idk if he really is the son of Väinämöinen in this universe. it be more funny if he actually wasn't and that's why his friends get so frustrated.

Riordan doesnt really write demigods of the Egyptians gods, but it would be neat if Egypt/ Muhammad Hassan (insert last name) was a descendant of one of the Egyptian deities. We discussed other characters and their godly parent, but forgot the next day.

Greece/ Herakles. Son of Hera. Hear me out!! He arrives to Camp Half-Blood, and is placed in the Hermes camp due to his "unknown" lineage. He wasn't claimed immediately, but it left bunch campers wondering and thinking. who? why? (some campers wanted to give him a nickname to avoid confusion with the great hero Herakles/ Hercules. This Herakles suggested Karpouzi because watermelons are his favorite fruits. it doesn't spread well, but there are many jokes. "Herakles Karpussy cat" Some believed that he's the son of Zeus. Until Hera arrived in the camp to loudly and publicly claim him. How is this possible? Isn't she married and faithful? isn't she picky about her family? Never is there a demigod of Hera?

"I made him from clay and brought him to life. He is solely my son, not Zeus's. Look at him. He is perfect."

This poor Greek boy will grow up hearing lots of comments from her: "Where is Herakles? the good heracles, not the other one. "My heracles. the good one. "the perfect one. mine. "I made him myself, and got blessings from the other gods and goddesses. he is perfect. he id never wrong,"

Very much the emobodiment of that tiktok meme "f u, my child is completely fine."

he's gonna grow up with trauma

explaining characters in hetalia badly: family member archtype edition

an incomplete list for funsies

just imagine they're all at a big family reunion lol

Germany: The closeted cousin who still hasn't figured it out.

Prussia: The cool older cousin who's jacked up on the remnants of the energy drinks he chugged during finals week trying to study for his med school exams. Probably specialized in kids medicine, but he's too jittery to confirm.

Italy V: The cousin who's a cousin because someone married someone a couple months ago and has no idea about all the ettiquette rules ye and what not to discuss in front of Great Aunt Sarah.

China: Great Aunt Sarah

Italy R: The cousin who's just hit his highschool years, and has decided MHA and Valorant is his whole personality.

England: The one manning the grill.

France: The one actually manning the grill.

America: The guy who's young enough to be your older brother but old enough that he's a dad. Don't worry, he's cool- he won't make you babysit, but he's gonna show up with those kids in biker jackets and they'll do a fun dance to entertain everyone halfway through dinner.

Russia: The uncle that apparently is a war vet. Definitely saw things he shouldn't have seen and you don't leave your kids with him. Tells the wildest stories over dinner though.

Canada: The cousin who you forget exists because he's actually normal. Actuality has probably spiked something.

Japan: The one hiding in a room playing video games. He might share if you ask nicely.

Lithuania: Someone's spouse. Not sure whose, but he made a nice caserole.

Sweden: That one distant relative who you almost forgot to invite.

Finland: The guy who showed up and you're not sure where he came from, but he's kinda fun so no one questions it.

Norway: The one who was forced to tag along with the rest of the family.

Iceland: The one who pretends he doesn't want to be there but he'd show up even if he wasn't invited because the food is kinda good.

Denmark: The one bringing the alcohol and manning the bar you didn't kow you had.

Latvia: The one trying to sneak underage drinks.

Estonia: The one pretending to be a normal person with his "honor student" and "full ride scholarship next year" but is secretly helping Latvia sneak a drink.

Spain: The uncle who's been married ten times.

Switzerland: The one who only showed up because he was begged to. Either ends up in the corner watching the game or in the middle of the table retelling some grand tale.

Liechtenstein: The one bringing all the delicious deserts and a fruit tray and forced Switzerland to socialize.

Austria: The one insisting on putting on the radio the moment the "go ahead" for the food is said. Might have even called up everyone to remind them to bring their instruments.

Hungary: The one who gets everyone dancing the moment Austria whips out the fiddle tunes.

Seychelles: The one who innocently suggested a board game after the dance-off winds down.

Hong Kong: The cousin who sticks around long enough to say hello to the aunts and uncles and grandparents and get some food before hiding in the room with Japan.

Belarus: The cousin who's a movie-cutter highschool "popular girl" and spends the whole time on her phone texting her boyfriend.

Ukraine: The aunt that break up the board game fights and bans it from future events.

Luxenberg: You don't know what he does for a living, but he brings cool stuff for everyone.

Netherlands: The globetrotting uncle who you're pretty sure knows everyone and everything.

Belgium: The cool aunt who's single and living life.

Phillipines and Thailand: The fresh-out-of-collegers cousin who keeps taking photos of everything.

Malaysia: The fresh-out-of-colleger cousin also taking photos but only aesthetic ones.

Taiwan: The aunt that starts making smoothies unprompted.

Monaco: The cousin who brings a book to read in the corenr.

Cameron: The uncle you don't want to get into an argument about sports with. Switzerland does not head this warning.

Greece: The uncle who drove all day and night to get here with a full car, and is now knocked out on the couch.

Turkey: The funny wine grandpa.

Cyprus: The college dropout who now works at a seven-eleven.

Egypt: The cousin who's studying history and is pretty average except you have photographic evidence that he sat next to a pond and talked to ducks for half an hour and was very serious about it.

Honestly? Listen to me here

England has all sorts of protective sigils tattooed on him, and maybe something on the palms of his hands to help him do magic wherever he is, without all his equipment. Also he has a pentagram specifically on the back of his shoulder, idc which one just one of them.

While I was drawing, I just realized that the Italy brothers would have Roman noses and that Greece would have a Greek nose… let that set in… i keep forgetting, that if hetalia characters existed in real life, they would each have different types of noses…. like we already know Russia has a big nose, CAN SOMEONE DRAW THEM WITH DIFFERENT NOSE TYPES, PLEASE?!?!

Also, would America HAVE AN INDIGENOUS NOSE?! CAUSE IF HE DID, THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!!!

While I was drawing, I just realized that the Italy brothers would have Roman noses and that Greece would have a Greek nose… let that set in… i keep forgetting, that if hetalia characters existed in real life, they would each have different types of noses…. like we already know Russia has a big nose, CAN SOMEONE DRAW THEM WITH DIFFERENT NOSE TYPES, PLEASE?!?!