KARKALICIOUS 2.0 - BROADWAY KARKAT

KARKALICIOUS 2.0 - BROADWAY KARKAT

AND THERE IT GOES. MY MOST REQUESTED SONG TO DATE. YOU ARE FUCKING WELCOME.

IMAGE CREDIT

LYRICS UNDER THE CUT (AS IF YOU EVEN NEED THEM...)

Four, three, two, fuck you

Listen up y'all, this shit is ironic Strider's beats are best suited to trolls hooked on phonix!

Karkalicious definition makes terezi loco She wants to know the secrets that she can't taste in my photo Dyin' just to know the flavor I ain't doin' her no favors No reasons why I tease Her flush just comes and goes like seasons

I'm karkalicious (so delicious) No, I don't do kismesis And if you read any fanfics All that shit is fictitious I blow kisses (mwah!) Don't matter if we're just moiraills Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail (Four, three, two, fuck you)

So delicious (super sweet) So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty) So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me) I'm karkalicious (l-l-l-l-like candy, candy)

Karkalicious def- Karkalicious def- (goddammit, doc scratch, stop fucking around with my mic) Karkalicious definition makes the shippers crazy Nepeta's always squealin' Cutesy pet names like karkitty I'm the K to the A, R, K, the A, the T And the majority of pairings had better include me

I'm karkalicious (so delicious) My body stays vicious All the highbloods feelin' nervous 'cause I'm doing some fitness Zahhak's my witness Bet that ship curls nepeta's tail And he'll be needing all the towels 'cause I'ma make him sweat pails (Four, three, two, fuck you)

So delicious (super sweet) So delicious (fuckin' adorabloodthirsty) So delicious (even egbert wants a piece o' me) I'm karkalicious (now you nooksuckers hold the fuck up, check it out)

Baby, baby, baby If you really want me Honey, get some patience Maybe then you'll get a taste I'll be tasty, tasty I'll be laced with lacy It's so tasty, tasty It'll make you crazy

T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty D to the E, to the L I C I O U S To the D, to the E, to the, to the, to the

I'll just spell it out for you!

All the time I turn around trolls gather round Always sniffin' at me, wanna guess the color of my blood I just wanna say it now I ain't trying to round up drama Little fucker I just don't want you to know And I guess I'm coming off as just a little insecure although I keep on repeating how the secret's fucking awesome But I'm tryin' to tell, it's a secret that I just don't wanna tell Terezi says I smell

Delicious (so delicious) No, I don't do kismesis And if you read any fanfics All that shit is fictitious I blow kisses (mwah!) Don't matter if we're just moiraills Trolls be lining down the veil for a chance to fill a pail

Four, three, two, fuck you My body stays vicious Zahhak's been feeling nervous 'cause I got down to business Nepeta's my witness (meow!) I'll even let her first ship sail Just watch that kitten be the first in line to fill a pail

So delicious (eridan, see) So delicious (you can trust me) So delicious (I'll help you be) I'm karkalicious, l-l-like candy, candy It's so delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) So delicious (ay, ay, ay, ay) I'm karkalicious, (she says my blood is like candy, candy)

T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty T to the A, to the S T Y - fuckin' tasty D to the E, to the L I C I O U S D to the E, to the L I C I O U S To the D, to the E, to the, L I C I O U S, to the D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D, to the E, to the

Now, wait just a motherfucking second!

Do I seriously have to spell this shit Until the end of the fucking song?

I mean, whoever fucking wrote the original Never had access to spellcheck, I guess

Because TASTEY does not spell tasty Was this fergie douchemuffin illiterate or Something?

What do you mean human rap artists Are the only ones brave enough to write their own Grammatical trainwrecks and call it music? What the fuck even is Will Smith doing?

He doesn't throw down sick fires anymore?

Fuck this shit, I quit

Commenting 101

Lesson 1: Find your catchphrase

"This was great!"

"Thank you for this <3"

"Loved this."

When in doubt, comment your catchphrase.

When you feel too tired/sleepy/overwhelmed/at a loss for words, just write 1 sentence down and you're done! The goal of this is not to be perfect. In fact, forget about perfect! Forget about needing your comment to be special, or that the author might not appreciate such a short comment. We're taking baby steps here and the most important thing you can learn this week is that something is better than nothing.

So start with something generic. Pick something short and sweet. Use one of the examples above. Leave it on every fanfic you read.

Let me repeat that for the people at the back:

Leave it on every fanfic you read.

Leave it at the end of that chapter you're reading. Comment on that fic you just opened. Just write those 2, 3, 4 words. Tell them LLF sent you. That we made you do it. Even if it doesn't feel great just leaving such a short sentence, do it. You can change it for the next fic. But start.

Start with something, even if you're not 100% happy with it. Don't worry about not getting it right the first time. You can iterate and change it up in the next fic or chapter you read and comment. And you can keep changing it up until you get something you're happy with. Even if it doesn't work out this week, there's next week. This will be your go-to sentence. Something that you can use without thinking. So keep it stupid simple.

Now, once you've started, you can stop and hit post on your comment. The only learning for this lesson is that you write something and develop a catchphrase for yourself this week. You can leave more than just your catchphrase in a comment, but it must be included in your comment.

And that's it!

I'll be asking how the week goes for you next weekend, and if you need more help getting started, my ask box is open.

Remember:

When in doubt, comment your catchphrase.

Something is better than nothing.

Goal of the week:

Leave your catchphrase on every fanfic you read.

And for the 10% of you who always leave a comment, I have a question for you:

100 posts!

TYSVM! ...to everyone who paid attention.

There is so much more I could say about this, but there is not enough room. Remember to check with reality rather than believing conspiracy theories promoted, supported, and funded by white nationalist hate groups.

Missouri is proposing 20% of the nation’s anti-trans legislation this session. Gender-affirming care for young folks is on the edge of being criminalized (so much love to trans friends in states where that has already happened).

Please keep up with the anti-trans legislation in your state and combat it. There are lives at stake.

Transphobes do not touch this post.

Image ID: a 10-image cartoon comic featuring Joey, a boy with short hair.

Image 1: Joey, upset, gesticulates towards an open laptop. Text reads: The reality of St. Louis trans kids. Last week, a former (non-medical) employee of Washington University’s Pediatric Transgender Center was featured in a viral article about how the clinic was “rushing” kids into medical care and “mutilating” us. Every single thing she said was a lie, but the media loves it. Footnote reads: I wouldn’t give any more attention to this, but it is immediately endangering the lives of trans people. Missouri has launched a state investigation and is actively attempting to criminalize gender-affirming care based on conspiracy theories.

Image 2: Joey points to a map of the United States where Missouri is singled out, and a map of Missouri where St. Louis is indicated with a star. The text reads: The Transgender Center, located in St. Louis, Missouri, has been the target of hateful attacks from the far-right state legislature for years. It is part of Washington University Hospital, a branch of a prestigious private university.

Image 3: A younger Joey injects his T shot in his leg while someone takes a photo. Text reads: I can tell you that everything in the article is false because I received care at the Transgender Center beginning at 16 years old. My medical transition has brought me nothing but joy. What a gift it is to be trans!

Image 4: A younger Joey sits on a couch and stims with a tangle fidget toy. Text reads: No one is “rushed”. I sat on many waitlists, had to have 6 months of specialized gender therapy and a diagnosis of gender dysphoria before even being referred to the Center, and I was denied as “not ready enough” by an endocrinologist the first time I finally got an appointment. Footnote reads: If you’re curious about what it looks like to be a trans kid, I did another piece on that! Check out tinyurl.com/transkidscomictumblr.

Image 5: A colorful map of the United States shows how many states have a Negative Gender Identity Policy Tally and how many states have criminalized gender affirming care. Joey holds a credit card. Text reads: St. Louis’ Pediatric Transgender Center is the only one in the region, meaning the waitlists are extremely long. Plus, no one in the only industrialized country without free healthcare is getting medical care for fun. Many American trans folks have to fundraise for our care.

Image 6: Joey, distressed, sits on a couch while talking on the phone. The person on the other end says: “That’s me!” Text reads: This former employee spoke about specific cases, and patients have been able to identify themselves. She shared our private medical info and called us horrifying.

Image 7: This is split into two panels. In the first, Joey holds up a box of condoms and a packet of birth control pills. Texts reads: She especially hated trans men such as myself, saying that trans ideology was destroying “girls”. She lamented about hormones making us “sterile”, which is a complete lie. We trans mascs have to actively prevent pregnancy. In panel two stands a doctor. Text reads: Every time I had an appointment at the Center, doctors reminded me: Remember: testosterone is not a contraceptive! Footnote reads: The wonderful Erin Reed wrote a breakdown debunking all the lies in the article. See tinyurl.com/erinreedmissouri.

Image 8: Joey, masked, sits at a circular table with his brother, an unmasked boy with fluffy short hair. Joey’s brother is showing him his phone. Text reads: Major newspapers continue to platform these complete lies because they bring in engagement and money. The Washington Post tracked down my little brother’s personal cell phone number to try to get in contact with our mom – the president of an organization supporting trans kids in Missouri. Freaky, right?

Image 9: Joey, looking disgusted, leans against a door frame while talking on a cell phone. Text reads: But no one wants to talk with me, the adult who medically transitioned at this clinic as a minor and has not “desisted” in six years. The Washington Post reporter, who didn’t know anything about trans people, talked with me for 20 minutes and used a sentence of mine in an article about “both sides of the debate”. She didn’t mention that this former employee is being legally represented by a recognized anti-LGBT hate group, nor that all of her claims are unsupported by reality or science.

Image 10: Joey looks angry and gesticulates. Beside the drawing are two photos of Joey, one of him happy in front of a trans flag, and the other of him drawing up testosterone to take his first T shot. Text reads: There is no debate. There are trans people, and there are people who want us dead. There is truth and there are conspiracy theories. Where is my viral article in a major paper?

Published Feb 16, 2023. End ID.