I Feel Bad For Attempting To Be In The System Community When I Barely Feel Like A System Myself!!

i feel bad for attempting to be in the system community when i barely feel like a system myself!!

Fucking sucks loving horror games and wanting to play horror games but having a bad heart and feeling like shit after every jumpscare.

Brain says it’s Thursday (its fawking Monday???) and I’m on waiting/panic mode but WE DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ON THURSDAYS?!! Why is this happening???

Someone: *asks a question with math in it*

Me: *stares in to the distance like I’m figuring it out*

Inside my head: WHAT THE FUCK ARE NUMBERS?!?!

I’m good at drawing and writing on a time crunch. Also good at playing piano by ear!

@shabeeboothedrawingender @weirdmixofweirdness @ron456

Fuck self modesty! Tell me something you know you're great at! I'll start. I'm a great cook.

Every time I feel like I figure something out about myself, I see something, or think of something, and doubt myself. Feel fake.

I call them masks because if I “become” one of them it’s easier to deal with certain situations.

Sometimes I feel more like one of them than myself. Like I’m on autopilot and someone else is driving, but I’m still the one giving directions, having taken the role of copilot instead.

Sometimes it’s more like a very intense feeling about something I normally wouldn’t feel that intensely about.

A few are only very rarely “out” (like crisis mode man) and sometimes I feel like I make them up.

None of them really have voices. I don’t hear them so much as I feel them. I feel like I’m faking or trying to be something we’re actually not.

Does anyone else feel like this?