That Feeling When You Forget Everything You Learned In Martial Arts And Just Fucking Go At The Punching

That feeling when you forget everything you learned in martial arts and just fucking go at the punching bag until your hands nearly bleed. I think I also did something bad to my wrist because it hurts like hell. But the adrenaline rush of screaming song lyrics and swearing like there’s no tomorrow at the punching bag, saying all the things I won’t say to him. Worth the pain. So, so worth it.

Image of my hand below cut (not technically bleeding, but there is blood). I know I punch wrong, essentially swiping my fist across the bag, and that’s probably why I always get hurt (that or the fact I don’t wear gloves), but that’s okay. The pain doesn’t bother me

To be honest, I’m starting to think that dying alone is not only the most likely way this ends, but the option I’d prefer. It sucks to not have a favorite person, but you know what sucks more? Having one, then losing them.

There are so many self-destructive things I want to do right now

I feel like there are two types of people I could theoretically be in a relationship with. Someone who’s emotionally stable would be ideal, but let’s face it, such a person doesn’t exist. So I need someone who’s just as fucked up as me. Sure, it would be a nightmare and we’d kill each other, but it would be fun for like a week, and I already feel like I’m dying all the time.

This would work on me. Not even gonna lie

How to catch me

You know what? I’m not gonna date anyone until I’ve at least been on t for a year and gotten top surgery. Because something has to change, right? And that would probably improve my mental health.