So Well Written :')

So well written :')

I never knew rock bottom had so many levels, and though today I’m half empty, the other half is love. I don’t know how to swallow all the words I never said, how to keep your name from dragging old loves back into my vocabulary. I never wanted to fix you. I just wanted to hold you until you didn’t care if you thought you were whole or broken anymore. How many nightmares have I woken up from looking at my hands to see if the blood stains are still there? sometimes you have to close a door. Not to keep the bad things out, but to keep the bad things in.

I loved you when there was nothing left to love except these shadows.

Mary Oliver, ‘north country’

From thoughts to paper, things get lost in translation

“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

"i have so much to do :///" my brother in christ you are still scrolling

how could you be empty and still carry the whole universe inside of you? you beat inside my ribcage like the soft throb of waves on the seashore, yet every day is a prayer to a summer of shadows we still sing under. everyone leaves an echo - darling, you’re the warmth my heart needed to survive. the more I love you, the more alive I feel. don't want you to become a chapter in my life, I want us to write this book together.

This is my favorite time in history because you’re alive right now.

And If I Had One Wish

If I had a wish granted,

Dreams of happiness ever implanted,

I'd ask for the best for you,

Your skies fo'ver the prettiest indigo blue.

For you a smile never faded,

A chance you forget reasons to be jaded,

I'd beg some god for you to love,

A wish I couldn't have shared, never spoke of.