Was It Out Of Comfort That We Stayed Together? Because When I Think Back To Us, I Only Remember A Sense

Was it out of comfort that we stayed together? Because when I think back to us, I only remember a sense of warmth, of not having to think before I speak or worry about what you’d think of me. I can’t think of the reasons I loved you or the reasons you loved me. ‘Best friends’ – the two words that kept us tied together but separated by a line. A line drawn in the sand near the waves; a line we might have unknowingly crossed countless times. Maybe during the five-hour phone calls at midnight or a heart emoji at the end of a text, one that meant a lot more than it should have. But at 16, you were the only love I knew. At 19, you slip into my mind sometimes, and I smile back at the years that have passed. I sometimes think of what could have been, but she’s made my life a lot easier. You’re with her now, and the line is a firm one, carved into wood, and a boundary clearly established. A line that has reduced us to old friends who keep in touch.

"i have so much to do :///" my brother in christ you are still scrolling

you’re everything I never wanted to feel, until summer became a time only the rain spoke of kissing. yesterday is just a heartbeat away, but forever has your name on it. Silence has a softer voice when you’re loved, yet nothing is emptier than a room you just walked out of. I smile about you, but I really wish I was smiling at you. If I were to unlove you, it would take all of my heart and more.. so I’m going to start being really good in this life, and maybe I’ll end up with you in the next one.

you left me with feelings I never knew I had.

And If I Had One Wish

If I had a wish granted,

Dreams of happiness ever implanted,

I'd ask for the best for you,

Your skies fo'ver the prettiest indigo blue.

For you a smile never faded,

A chance you forget reasons to be jaded,

I'd beg some god for you to love,

A wish I couldn't have shared, never spoke of.

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

Sylvia Plath