THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOUR

THEY ARE BROTHERS YOUR HONOUR

Dick: Hey, Jas- why the hell are you wearing a bucket hat indoors?

Jason, who wanted to copy his big brother's mullet but accidentally lopped too much hair off: Hey, bucket hats are cool, okay?!

Dick: Alright...?

*4 Years Later*

Jason: 'Sup, Ti- why are you wearing a hat indoors?

Tim, who thought Jason's white stripe was cool and tried to imitate it but accidentally bleached way too much hair: Hats are really cool, Jason

Jason: *realises* oh. Oh my god...

*2 Years Later*

Tim: Hey, brat, did you- uh, why are you wearing a hat at dinner?

Damian, who secretly thinks Tim's eyebrow notch is cool and tried to copy it but accidentally shaved off half an eyebrow: Because hats are cool, idiot

Tim: *softly* oh. I get it now...

He’s just a little gremlin

Listen to me. Listen to me. Tim deserves to be 19 and thriving and making it everyone else's problem.

He's not been Robin since he was 17 and maybe the Red Robin series happened here, maybe it didn't, but either way it hardly matters now. He's not angry about it anymore but it's an inside joke between all the kids for reasons that Bruce doesn't understand (and probably won't ask about). He grew his hair out long enough that he can tie it back in a messy bun or a half ponytail, and he's gotten at least one tattoo to cover a more conspicuous scar he couldn't explain away easily to the press. He got his GED and he's taking college classes in an artsy major specifically because it pisses off the stuffy old men at Wayne Enterprises. Paparazzi have snapped at least two dozen photos of him skateboarding through downtown Gotham in a Givenchy sweater over ratty-ass jeans and heavy combat boots. Clips of him being a complete fucking gremlin at a public event have become standard meme templates. He's Lex Luthor's second most important nemesis purely because he's bratty and annoying and clowns on the guy on socials all the time. He's rabid. He's ungovernable. He's so endearing because of it.

He’s just so shrunkly 😭💕

Tim drake is a reverse Brucie Wayne. The media sees him as a hot, competent, prodigy genius, teenage CEO, and heir to not one but TWO fortunes.

But only the people who really know him, that he's able to trust, recognize that he is actually a pathetic wet sewer cat in the vague shape of a floppy haired moron.

headcanon that the smaller batkids steal the bigger ones' hoodies and jackets. and by "bigger ones" I mean literally anyone bigger than them.

jason gets the short end of the stick because dick and all his little siblings take his. tim's the only one bold enough to go for the leather jackets (well, and cass, but they're way too wide in the shoulders for her) but it's not uncommon to find dick or stephanie in a dark red or gray hoodie that smells of motor oil and gunpowder.

damian usually takes dick's hoodies, but they're very oversized on him. on the bright side, there are thumbholes in the sleeves of all dick's hoodies, so he can still use his hands. the thumbholes make them a hot commodity in the winter.

there is a tim-steph-cass jacket pipeline. steph steals tim's hoodies and cass takes them from steph. hence tim stealing jason's leather jackets -- steph won't take them, so he gets to hold on to them until jason realizes and takes them back. sometimes cass will also steal duke's hoodies, but she always returns them clean and neatly folded (unlike how it goes with the rest of the family, in which they are returned only under threat of blackmail or with long rounds of negotiation).

this is an extremely long-standing ring of jacket theft. you cannot leave a hoodie unattended in wayne manor. damian doesn't actually own any hoodies, and cass only owns one, because there's so many other people in the house to "borrow" one from. nowhere is safe. steph once broke into dick's apartment to steal his warm hoodie, the one with the fuzz on the inside.

but it goes the other way sometimes. jason leaves things in the pockets of his leather jackets for tim -- film for his camera, hand sanitizer, half-filled punch cards for local coffee shops with "drink water too, fucker" written on the back. cass will tuck little slips of paper in the cuffed sleeves when she leaves hoodies out. the notes don't say anything, but they have little smiley faces and hearts on them, and steph has taken to doing something similar with corny jokes. dick just straight-up leaves candy in the hoods of his jackets.

it's a game, it's a love language. it's simultaneously annoyance and affection. there's nothing like wearing a hoodie that's too big for you, that smells like your family, to make you feel safe.

Bruce Wayne is an honorary Asian dad

bruce wayne seems like the exact type of dad to hear that his kid likes something and latch on to that info like a leech.

like dick says he likes the color blue and for the next x amount of years, everything bruce gets dick is in blue.

jason mentions liking strawberry flavoring and suddenly candy, drinks, ice cream, cake, doesnt matter, is all strawberry flavored

every holiday or birthday tim gets photography stuff. bruce gets tickets to attend photography gallerys and researches it in order to engage in conversation.

just that whole dad thing where he finds one (1) thing that his kid enjoys and latches onto that fact in order to connect to them (awkward for the kdis when its ten years later and theyre pretty indifferent to that thing now but you know their dad is trying so they’re not gonna say anything)

God I needed this

This guide is only for dick, jason, tim, steph or damian. for everyone else youre on your own.

Now thank you all for your attention, please return next week on your lecture on how to differentiate between helena und cassie.

Edit: I update some slides here. <- made it worse