S1r3n-m00n - Bloo's Banquet Of BS

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hi, ummm. this is awkward. haha. yeah um do you think you could push your boulder up somewhere else? like a different hill? because this one’s kind of already taken. yeah it’s the one i’ve decided to die on, so.

NEVERMIND IM SLOW

want whitebeard to call me his little pudding cup

So like I don’t know if I actually like have any followers let alone if anybody actually like looks at my posts but I’m going to write an Eddie Munson X reader and I’m going to post it. This is heavily self indulgent as is everything else I am going to write and post on this account. All the other fix that I’ve seen for him are either making reader a cheerleader, making reader a normal person that denies any part of their weirdness, not privy to any of the canon going-ons, or Steve’s exe, and honestly I think A. Steve has been though enough with his girlfriends leaving him for someone else, and B. Eddie has been through enough with cheerleaders, so like Thanos said I’ll do it myself. Also this might get pretty niche and kinda specific. Like I said this is self indulgent.

Posts that be like “If I were a monster that had to eat people, i would just eat horrible people~” are so absurd to me. How often do you see Known Criminals on the street? Billionaires out for a nightly stroll around town? Effectively fucking never. If I have to drag myself to the grocery store, you think it’s gonna be any easier for me to hunt Bezos and Co. every time my stomach growls? I can’t bother to plan meals more than a day in advance, how am i gonna perform whole ass detective work to confirm someone’s a serial killer before i eat them? Ya’ll got that much time on your hands? Planning 5 course meals every night of the week? Don’t make me laugh. Eat a pedestrian and tragically wrestle with guilt like the rest of us, idiot.

I DONT WANNA FIGHT THE SOUL KING 🥺

I was tagged by @twstlibrary !

YOU HAVE TO FIST FIGHT THE LAST FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR CAMERA ROLL, HOW FUCKED ARE YOU?

...well then 🥲

❤️ TAGGING: @xialatvs, @theorphanprince, @shiny-jr, @187-mg and who else wants to!