Two-thirds Through A Re-read Of Piranesi, Driving In The Evening, And Having That Experience That Can

Two-thirds through a re-read of Piranesi, driving in the evening, and having that experience that can happen to you while reading a Susanna Clarke novel: the clouds look more cloud-y. The rain looks more rain-like. A flock of birds wheeling through a grey sky makes your breath catch. The writing appears on the world.

had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"

Redraw of these, I want to learn how to draw him well in digital so I can make my own little comic eheheh

things people have done to help me during a psychoses episode

i was on the buss and i hallucinated bugs crawling all over my hands, so my friend pulled my hoodie sleeves over them with permission and held my hands through the sleeves to "keep them off". they used the logic you would in a real bug situation.

i went nonverbal in a bad one in class, so my friend wrote me a note to give to the nurse since the teacher wouldn't let her go with me.

i often am very paranoid about the delusion that meat is actually rotten, so my dad will sometimes eat a bit of it before me

instead of telling me my delusions arent real, they help me through it using logic like it was real. they dont tell me that nothings going to hurt me in my sleep, they stay with me to keep me safe. then when it passes i can realize its not real

It's so nice to get a reminder in 2023 that Bill Cipher was/is THE villain of all time. He's the worst thing that ever happened to a random town in Oregon. He's a triangle. His backstory is basically the novel "Flatland" from 1884 but with more arson. He projects his family issues onto a 12-year old girl and subsequently tries to murder her. He's a fan of Dr. Strangelove. He's questioning his sexual orientation. He was defeated by kittens, then tickles, then by a senior citizen in his underwear. He's utterly terrifying. He's pathetic and cringefail. He lies about being happy "for courtesy." He lies until he's not lying anymore. He refuses to grow up and mature. He once fell down a flight of stairs on purpose. No one will ever do it like he did

To be in love

Sometimes it doesn't matter how many stars are in the sky because I will still look at you with my whole heart in my hand as an offer to your beauty.

And If i will pull my own eyes out while I look at you it's because after you no art will ever have meaning again.

I wish you could be me so you could see why I love you and never be afraid again.

I want to be your light and bright your day, but also your shadow so you could hide safe with me.

I want to walk hand in hand in these worlds made with words that we love, I want to be eternal so my love will last forever like a book that can't be burned.

You made me stronger and stronger is getting my love.

You made me alive.

May the stars shine stronger for you and may the sea sing songs for you.

May the whole universe be beautiful enough to be worthy of you.

And may I be worthy too.

To be loved by you is like being made with stars in the eyes, gold as skin and ocean in the veins. To be whole as the sky and the earth, to be loved by God itself.