Dead Clade Walking - A Term For Animals That Are Alive But From A Functionally Extinct Species.

“Dead Clade Walking” - a term for animals that are alive but from a functionally extinct species.

concept art 4 a horror comic about the dinosaurs that survived the initial meteor impact and are now living in a sort of last of us/annihilation-esque world

Sometimes self-care is, actually, NOT getting onto the computer and little treats and watching youtube videos. Sometimes those things are self-care, but sometimes they're also avoidant behaviors.

Sometimes self care is waking up and just. Fucking getting in the car. And driving to the bank. And the store. And buying the cat litter. And changing the cat boxes you've been avoiding because your brains been stuck in a hole. And picking up the trash you've been piling up. And getting a load into the wash. And mowing the lawn before the village council sends you a formal complaint and potential-fines warning.

Like its hard and annoying to do because it sucks. It sucks so much. But if I don't start working on this pile of bullshit I've let build up because it stinks and i was stuck in deer-in-headlights mode, I risk letting it turn into fuckery. I do not have the patience for fuckery that I once - foolishly! - thought I had.

For any writers who want to have woodland settings and woodland creatures but don’t have much experience in forests (particularly at night):

Deer are not as magestic as you think most of the time. They’re kind of derpy and will stare you down for uncomfortably long amounts of time mainly because they can’t decide which way they want to run. They end up running in circles anyways

Deer also blow air at threats as they run away, which sounds kind of like an out of breath scream. Do with this what you want

Squirrels don’t care who or what you are, they will bark at you from the trees. This is also a startling sound for someone who doesn’t know what the screeching above them is

Squirrels are also not quiet runners. If the forest has leaves on the ground and you hear what seems like the thunderous approach of some giant best, 8/10 times it’s a squirrel

If said sound is not a squirrel, it is likely an armadillo (if this forest is in the southern US/upper South America. Idk where else they are)

Armadillos make a lot of noise when walking through leaves and look funny, but they’re really kind of harmless and just don’t know where they are most of the time (very blind, not fast, but polite and waddle away if someone screams because of them. I would know, I was there when I saw this happen.)

Coyotes scream. It’s terrifying. Sounds like murder. It means they likely aren’t interested in you though (unless it’s in your ear)

Coyotes are kind of small, think a step down from a lab. Wolves however are a LOT bigger than you probably think

Hogs don’t care who you are or what you’re doing. They’re charging. They go for the knees and then tear you apart when your down so I hear. For anyone scared of the coyote screams, I’m here to tell you this is a MUCH bigger threat

Everything’s awake at night, but it’s not too terrible to walk if you have enough moonlight and a fairly good idea of where you’re going. 9/10 times if you stomp through, animals will leave you alone (the exception being squirrels which still scream as though they didn’t hear you coming)

Turkeys can attack, but brobably wont. Just give them their space or scream and you’re good.

Turkey’s also travel in groups most of the time, only really separating around mating season, so it’s pretty common to have a line of birds just walts by loudly

Raccoons are cool, but will not tolerate invasions of privacy. Don’t try to get close to their trees and you’re good

Same goes for possums. Possums are still a bit more chill than people give them credit for though, and will not attack unless it’s their only option (they hiss or play dead)

The only time to be worried about scurrying or footsteps behind you is if you hear a large branch break. That’s the 2/10 that isn’t a squirrel. Still, it’s most likely a deer so don’t worry too much

Let me know if there’s anything else you want to know about and I’ll see if I know anything that could help!

Incorrect sayings that I use so often I’ve almost forgotten that they’re not the originals:

I have bigger fish to fight

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

You can lead a horse to water, but if you drown it you have to walk home

Opening a can of whales

You made your bed, now shit in it

Combining the latter two into the phrase “you opened this can of whales, now lie in it”

Art by Stefan Koidl