Thornheart Cake Pops
Thornheart cake pops
WARNING: POISONOUS CONTENTS
How to make:
Step 1: harvest the heart of a thornheart beast. Be wary of its poisonous spines. Make sure you use thorn-proof gloves and handle with extreme care
Step 2: wash and scrub the heart with a fresh food brush until the purple film sloughs off. Do not reuse the brush, throw it away after you're done
Step 3: cut divets into each spine so the poison can drain and soak the heart for six hours in ice cold sugar water. Once the poison has dissolved, the water should turn black
Step 4: wash off the heart, skew it, and chill it in the freezer for another six hours. It'll turn blue and sparkly when it's ready to come out
Thornheart is bitter and not for the faint of heart. It's outside will be crunchy, but the inside will be soft and doughy, and although the spines are no longer poisonous after prep, they can still stick you if you're not careful. They're edible, but you can remove them so you don't die
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Eyeball cookies
How to make:
Step 1: gouge out any pairs of eyes, enough to have 10 cookies. Do not use the eyes of the dead. Wash them in cold water and dry them carefully, but not completely
Step 2: roll the eyeballs in sugar and then shape them with dough. Don't make them too big or else they won't cook evenly and the eyes will get buried
Step 3: place the eyeballs in the oven for 15 minutes at 150° degrees until the crust is flesh tone and the eyes are glossy. You've cooked the eyeball cookies for too long when they're bloodshot
Step 4: decorate with cream, coconut, chocolate, or whatever assortments you have. Do not use lemon
Step 5: garnish with eye drops, about 1-2 drops for each eye. For a lemon-y taste, make it 4-5 drops for each eye
Do not apply salt to this dish. Doing so will make the eyeballs shrink. Eyeball cookies are naturally nutty, but if you wish to add almonds, cashews or unsalted peanuts, go right ahead :)
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