Nvm The Fic Is Coming Out Sooner Than I Though Since I Decided To Speed Run It.

Nvm the fic is coming out sooner than I though since I decided to speed run it.

another smut fic is coming up

Guys, guess what. I'm writing another smut fic on ao3. But it might be about a certain egg instead. Because one, I'm horny and also because I'm genuinely curious over how the fuck I'm supposed to write a smut fic for a character that literally doesn't have any genitals.

Now, two is a bit funny. You see, I GOT COCKBLOCKED TWO FUCKING TIMES BY ZMOON @zmoonerites. Well, the second fic was kind of obvious BUT THE FIRST?! HOOH BOY THE FIRST!

Because of the lack of alien sex at all in the fanfic industry (also why are they always gijinkas like- come on dude, I wanna fuck aliens) and also the lack of gender-neutral shit is kind of sad. So guess what suckers?!

I'VE DECIDED TO PROVIDE! YOU CAN BE DISGUSTED AND WHATEVER OTHER EMOTION YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW! FUCK, EVEN BLOCK ME FOR FUCKS SAKE, BUT I AM GOING TO FUCKING WRITE THAT ALIEN SEX AND IT IS GOING TO BE BAD!

Also, this is why I'm being so slow with sam and max content lmao. Also the fic is probably going to take a few days so you weird alien sex freaks are gonna have to wait

PS, fuck you zmoon (not really, I love your writing but still.)

(Also sorry for tagging you, BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD SEE THIS BECAUSE I AM NOT GONNA GET COCKBLOCKED AGAIN IN YOUR FICS.)

More oneshots coming!

I'm soon going to come out with another Sam and Max fic! This one however involves angst but it still has some fluff. It's probably not coming THAT soon though seeing as I've been pumping out short fics and keep getting idea after idea on ao3.

Anyways, steer clear of the fic once it comes out Sam and Max simps!

Shit, big crab got my interest. I'll be taking requests for him. (I'm talking about Tamatoa)

And it is OUTTTTT PT2 IS OUT AND NOW I'm finished with that fic.

Blood Across The Carpet PT1

Pairing; Sam x Max x reader

Words: 4341

Inspired by Guts on ao3 (by sammys_lover)

Tw: HEAVY GORE, smut/NSFW, might be dead dove: do not eat, sadomasochism (they're all sadomasochists, blood kink, cannibalism?, hickeys, suggestive, masturbation, fourth wall breaking, MINORS DNI!

PT2

Midnight, it was midnight and it was at this hour you did your masturbating sessions. Already in your bed, you began stripping yourself. Pulling off your pants, shirt and swiftly disposing of your underwear.

You adjust your legs giving you more access to your now bothered sex, currently now begging you to touch it. You pick up your vibrator and place it on your erogenous zone. It turning on, sending you gentle vibrating. You shiver at the effect. You slowly rub and sensually touch against your sex.

You giggle to yourself, already thinking about them. How they would kiss you, give you hickeys on your most sensual spots.

Your breath hitched as you slowly but gradually began speeding up. You closed your eyes and continued to fantasize about them.

What sounds they'd make, perhaps pinning them down and causing them to squirm against you.

You stiffle a moan, picking up the pace with much more higher haste.

You had a few neighbors that were parents so you would rather not have their children hear you full on moaning while you were masturbating.

You turned up the level of your vibrator.

You imagined caressing their ears and their cheeks, while they bite into you. Would- would they purr? Moan, make sounds of their own, maybe you could give them hickeys. Maybe you would make out with them during the sexual seque-

A knock on your door sounded through the room, ever reminding you of your nagging responsibilities.

You yelp, immediately stopping with your activities.

Another knock sounded, almost impatient. You make a high-pitched groan, probably due to your frustrated and bothered sex, currently now pulsating and being a little too swollen for your liking. You lazily slump out of bed, still wanting to finish your now interrupted session.

You took off the vibrator and placed it on your nightstand. Standing up on the floor, you picked your clothes back up and shuffled into them. Not even bothering to put on your underwear, instead only wearing pants and a shirt. The knocking comes back again and you huff.

"Coming! Just wait a second." You yell across the room.

You stomp towards the door, still irritated by the interruption. You open the door getting ready to yell at the 'intruder.' Until shortly stopping yourself after realizing it was just your two favorite homicidal maniacs you adored so much.

Max, the egocentric rabid bunny who seemed to always jump at murder whenever given the chance and Sam, a dog who acted as the voice of reason. Although, you knew he was very much far from this whenever presented the chance and small hints at a possible sociopath.

Two friends you would gladly welcome in your humble abode at anytime, however THIS was one of the times where you absolutely did not wanna see them considering your.. predicament.

And besides the fact that you literally just fantasized about them fucking you while masturbating.

You mentally slapped yourself, well fuck.

"Oh hey guys.. what are you two doing here?"

The rabbit began snickering about something all so suddenly while Sam was giving him a look of disapproval.

Two seconds in the job and you already managed to fuck it up. Great stuff, (Y/N).

"The real question is how you managed to wet yourself! We're not THAT scary (Y/N), and I who thought you got used to us." He stated the last part dramatically, laced with sarcasm.

You furrow your eyebrows, confused by his statement. You share a look with Sam. He clears his throat and point towards your pants, avoiding eye contact.

You look down.

What the hell were they talking about-

Oh-

You touch your pants, where your private part was hiding. It was wet, undeniably wet.

OH

You flushed, face red with embarrassment.

Cum.. It was cum.

Max gasps melodramatically, Sam gives him a look, shaking his head in disapproval.

"(Y/N), infront of us?! Do you have no shame? Who knew you were so.. kinky." He said feigning seductiveness in his voice, trying to sound low and husky at the last part. (He wasn't that good at it, failed actually.)

You could've just die right then and there.

You flush an even deeper red, your breath even hitching. You avoid his gaze, eyes trailing to your door.

"No- well I-"

As soon as your voice hitched you stopped.

Max eyes his partner smugly, a certain smirk plastered on his face. He drags out his hand towards the dog, expecting something to land in his hands.

You raised an eyebrow.

What were they doing?-

"Money."

Sam attempts to rolls his eyes and quickly places the cash in the palm of the bunny rabbit's hands. Max snickers to himself, counting the cash.

No way did they just bet on you. There is no way.

"Anyways, Max and I was just wondering if you'd let us stay for a while-"

"We WON'T be long!" Max interrupted, giggling about something.

A bad pun probably.

"Sure, why not."

Shit, autopilot.

The couple let themselves in your place, Sam closing the door behind himself and smiling at you almost nervously. Just as you were about to take a step forward Max hopped on your face.

Your vision was basically taken over by him.

"Lookin' stylish as usual (Y/N)! A little bit worn, but attractive!"

He got off of you. You rolled your eyes at him, walking towards your couch as the two follow you.

"I already told you Max. You won't get my machete, no matter how much flattery you give me."

Max groans at this, huffing while Sam chuckles.

"Better luck next time, little pal."

You grin, looking down at the rabbit for any reactions at Sam's comment.

"Buuut Saaam, it looks so nice 'n sharp." He whines, slumping a little bit while walking.

Sam only chuckles and Max turns to you, brightening up a bit. He jumps on your shoulder, grabbing at your face

"If you give me that machete of yours, I'll tell you all about Sam's recent-" he turned to Sam. "-mishaps.." he snickered, all to mischievous in his tone.

Tempting..

"HEY!"

You looked at Max then Sam.

Max held a mischievous look filled with sadistic urges and Sam had the appearance of a lost puppy, pleading you with all his heart to say no.

Luckily for you, that didn't work on you and as much as you did want to know about Sam's secrets (and possibly kinks) you didn't think your machete was up for the trade.

"Tempting, but as much as I do like the idea. I value my machete much more over a little.. gossip." You giggle.

Max gave you a both amused and disappointed expression, jumping off your shoulders. "Your hesitance would say otherwise."

Fuck. Then again, you would pick this topic over the.. other topic considering it's implications. You were honestly surprised Max even dropped it considering him.

When you had arrived at the couch, both Sam and max had quickly sat down along with you. You were just about to say something until Max's stomach rumbled.

Max groans immediately, grabbing a few toys from his.. fur? What how?! Pocket fur?!

"When are we gonna eat?! I'm staarving." He drawled out, still playing with his dolls.

You raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't eat before you went here?"

"We were in a hurry!" Sam enters the conversation, albeit defensive.

You look at him with skeptic eyes, confused why he had said that oh so defensively.

"Sam, if you went through all this just to steal some food away from me, I will punt your ass-"

"Just make sure to do it against a wall. He's very nimble and fast, despite his height." Max remarked nonchalantly.

You stared him down. He eyes you a bit confused.

What-

"Look, (Y/N) I'm flattered that you even think I can do it like THAT but, have you seen my height?!" He gestures to himself.

Now that you think about it, he did have a point.

You mentally slap yourself.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID brain-

"Now, when can we eat? I mean, not to interrupt your conversation about punting me in a wall but my stomach here is having a little bit of a spectrum."

You gaze at him with a puzzled expression, almost concerned.

How did he manage to talk about THAT so casually?! Especially about him?

"You mean you're hungry?"

Sam nods. You glance towards the kitchen, standing up from the couch. Max perks up, eye glinting a bit. You rolled your eyes at him.

"No Max, I do not have conveniently placed corpse in the kitchen that we can eat."

He deflates and huffs, turning back to his dolls.

"If you keep this up you might find a corpse in your bed tonight." He giggles way to mischievously. You shudder at the thought. He looks back up to you, enjoying your reaction. "Don't worry, it won't be you."

"God, I wish." You grumbled a bit, face flushing.

This time Sam smirked, staring right at Max. Sam drawled out his hand towards him. He grumbled and went through his invisible pockets pulling out some cash and giving it to the smug dog. Sam snickered, putting the cash in his pockets.

Fucking hell, these two would be the death of you.

And you were going to enjoy every second of it.

"Anyways, I don't think I have any food for you two. Kind of empty in the fridge right now."

Sam deflates and Max only slumps a bit. You smirk.

"BUT, I think I have some corn dogs left from your last visit. Interested?"

Both lunatics perk up immediately at the words 'corn dogs.' Max threw away the dolls on the floor, one doll lost its head at the impact as he ran full speed into the kitchen. Sam bolted as well, leaving you there to chuckle for yourself at their antics.

Until your chuckling was broken by a shuffling sound coming from the kitchen.

Shit.

Max.

"MAX!"

You dash into the kitchen and seeing that indeed Max was rampaging in your kitchen for some corn dogs. You sigh and find the corn dogs immediately, glaring at the bunny while he simply giggled at the attention. You averted your stare, now putting full attention on the dog. Sam chuckled a bit nervously.

"Why didn't you stop him?!"

"Trust me I did!" He defends himself.

Max giggles, gazing halflidded towards Sam. Giving him a certain look.

"Ooo, strivin' for appreciation now are we?" He taunts.

Sam roles his eyes at this, though blushing a bit. You couldn't help but feel a little flattered.

But you were pretty sure they didn't love you that way. You weren't even sure if they were open for a polyamoryous relationship. Besides, they seemed as happy as is as of now.

Still the thought of you being in a relationship with them?

You blushed.

Always turned your gears.

You sigh.

Too bad it's never happening.

You got slapped across the face by a certain paw, interrupting your thoughts.

"HEY! EARTH TO (Y/N), DO YA HEAR ME?!" He yells.

You huff and stroke your face where Max had slapped you.

"Max, as much as I do like your fists in my face, don't hit me when I'm internally monologuing about my surroundings and vise versa, capiche?"

"Hey you know I can't keep promises! Especially when 'm hungry."

You squint at Max, until huffing. "Well, fair- alright FINE, just don't interrupt me again or I'll use the b word." He grins even wider, looking at you with a certain.. look.

"Don't ya worry about the b word! You're allowed to swear here, surprisingly."

You deadpan him right in the eye.

Fucking stupid anthropomorphic bunny.

"Not that word you doofus!" Sam enters the conversation. Max simply stares, perplexed and dumbfounded.

"Then what?!" Max looks around with furrowed eyes and.. eyebrows? Where did those come from? I guess it's similar to his disappearing mouth.

"HONEYBUN!" You both yell. A small 'ohhh' sound comes out of Max. You and Sam both share a look.

Silence...

Max breaks it of course.

"Anyways, can we just get this snappy!? I'm starting to get the intense urge to 'nick' at that wall."

You roll your eyes, and put the three corn dogs in the microwave, turning it on. Max skips to the table smiling all the way.

You lean against the counter eyeing the pair.

Silence.

Unusual for the two morons.

Until they eye you up and down.

Oh, fuck.

So this was where things were going?

You were in no shape or form for this.

You blush immediately. Sam looks away, a certain red on his face and Max being smug, a tint of blush lying on his face although faint.

"So about that wetness earlier.."

HOW?! HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO SAY THAT SO CASUALLY?!

"Y-YEAH?" Your voice was high pitched, probably due to excitement and embarrassment. You went a deeper red. Your sex was already cumming. You hated how sensitive and easily bothered your sex was.

Then again you WERE just masturbating before these two lagomorths decided to interrupt. So you can't say you're surprised.

"W-WHAT ABOUT IT?!"

You avoid eye contact, instead looking towards the side.

"What were you-"

The microwave beeped interrupting his sentence, you immediately turning your attention to the microwave. Max perked up at the sound, now turning all his attention to the corn dogs. Sam looked albeit bashful, not completely focused. You grab three corn dogs out of the microwave, giving them to your fellow friends.

You sit down at the table, biting into the corn dog, plain. They both stare at you, confused.

"What?"

"You're not even going to have something on them?!" Sam asks surprised.

You shrug. "Not that hungry for ho- I mean corn dogs. I ate about 45 minutes ago?" You take another bite.

"But you always have some sort of weird topping on 'em!" Max joins in.

"Not today."

They both share a look before shrugging, biting into their corn dogs as well.

You check the clock. It was late. You usually would've prepared for bed and all by now. You bite into the corn dog, munching a bit.

You glance at them.

Just how long were they planning to stay?

Max was staring at you wildly, a certain glint in his eyes. You eye him quizzically. You bite into the corn dog once again. His ears twitched.

The hell is going on-

Oh wait.

OH.

You blushed looking away from the rabbit.

Shit.

Why is he fucking horny right now.

You look towards Sam. His breath was visibly quickened, breathy sighs escaping him.

Okay fine. Maybe they were both horny right now.

Not that you weren't horny, you would even say you're more troubled than them right now.

You know what fuck it.

You chuckled, gazing at Max with full confidence.

"Max, as much as I would love to tear you apart limb from limb by my teeth. I don't think that's age appropriate with our audience-"

"(Y/N), (Y/N), THIS thing is explicitly marked for mature audiences! The people clearly know what they're getting into!"

Both Sam, Max and you stare at the readers.

You all turn back. "He's got a point. Wouldn't wanna upset all our readers over here."

You shrug at Sam's statement, going back into the groove. You take a last bite into the corn dog and throw the stick into the trash can.

"You think you could do one of those on me?" Max giggled a bit, looking a bit manic and excited.

"Maybe later Max. Besides we haven't reached that point yet."

He huffs and throws the corn dog in his mouth, devouring it whole. (Yes, along with the stick.)

How?!

You turn to Sam seeing that he too was done. He probably finished it before you anyway, he's usually the first to finish his plate.

You yawn, still feeling a bit swollen and sensitive at your sex. You didn't even get to finish because of these morons. Max stares at you as you yawn, almost a bit impatient and disappointed for some unknown reason.

You stretch out your limbs as well as your back, a few snaps and joints popping back into place. You rub your eyes, trying to focus on the pair.

"You two gonna leave soon? I have a feeling I'm gonna take some REM sleep soon."

"Is it okay if we stay here for the night? Max and I are having a bit of a.." He eyes his partner. "Predicament."

You furrow your eyebrows at the pair.

What were they going to do? Live here?

"Fine, but be quiet alright?"

Max smirks at you, looking particularly suggestive in some way. Sam chuckles, probably already knowing what was going to go down.

"What gave you that idea (Y/N)?~"

Fucking hell, you could not deal with all of this tension. Awkward, but also not and sexual tension.

Luckily for you, Sam comes to the rescue.

"How about we watch a movie?"

Sam has betrayed you.

Max perks up, ears stretching up a bit and his eyes going wider. Sam chuckles, looking down at his partner.

Max jumps off the chair, running to the living room. You follow behind him, Sam coming shortly after. You all sit in the couch. Until Max runs off to his dolls, picking them back up and running back to the couch.

You all stare at each other.

"So who's turn is it?"

Max and Sam both look at each other.

"Isn't it my turn this time?" Max says.

You glance at Sam.

"Actually I think it's Sam's turn."

"Have you checked the notebook?"

You look at the notebook.

"Yep, it's Sam's turn."

You give the remote controller to Sam. He stares at it for a bit. "Well, what should I pick?"

You and Max both share a look of excitement, turning back to Sam.

"Horror." You both say. "And make it the gore-y kind, I don't want some soft 'n gentle shit." Max continues. Sam chuckles and gives him a look. He turns to your tv and presses a button, turning the tv on.

You stare at the small rabid lagomorth sitting next to you.

Oh, a horror movie.

You know how he can get at a horror movie. All turned on at that. Especially if it has realistic gore.

You blush turning to the side.

And you.

Shit.

Something was going to go down, wasn't it?

Movie night? Sleep over? Gore?

Such a cliché.

"Do you two have any suggestions?"

Both you and Max perk up, staring at Sam. He looks at you two with slight regret, preparing what's to come. Max opens his mouth but you shut him up. You smirk at him, giving him a mischievous giggle. He only returns it, getting your gist.

You personally wanted to see what Sam was gonna pick himself. Besides, seeing him struggle while looking for some good gruesome movies for you two would be very amusing. It was clear that he didn't watch a lot of horror movies, especially the graphic ones. He only watched when you two wanted to or did.

That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy them. In fact, there were a few scenes where you could obviously see he was turned on. Understandable though, that guy getting his head ripped off with that monster with the possessive voice and all was pretty hot.

Sam eyes you two skeptically, confused by why not any of you would suggest a movie. He tugs at his chin, in thought.

How cute.

"Well? What are you waiting for Sam? Turn the movie on already you had promised us." You say with a twinge of sarcasm and mischief, although it was subtle. Unnoticeable by the blind eye.

He eyed you before turning to the tv, flicking through multiple horror movies in the catalogue presented to him, trying to find the perfect one. A drop of sweat even fell down the poor dog's forehead. You couldn't help but snicker, Max joined in too.

He furrows his gaze at you two, clearly suspicious over your snickering. You pull up your phone, looking for the most graphic horror movies ever made.

Cheater..

You smirk at him, giving him a certain gaze. You grab his hand with the remote controller, caressing his fingers for a bit. He looks up to you almost a bit meekly, faint blush appearing on his cheeks. You pull off your most softest smile at him, he flushes even more. You give his hand a small caress.

He shuddered.

He looked as if he was gonna die.

"Here, let me help." Low and gentle, your voice was. It reminded you of some VERY sexual scenes in your head. Ideas for later, keep them in mind.

He only nodded in response. You smirked and caressed his hand while picking the movie your webrowser had shown. Or the website to be more specific. You even moved his hand up, acting as if you were going to suck on his fingers, until quickly giggling.

Each shudder and hitch of his breath, the flushing, his obvious excitement only made you more hungry.

Hungry for him, hungry for both of them.

Excitement and pleasure, the feeling of your sex getting more bothered by his reactions until you finally stopped to click on the movie. Max was drooling beside you, gazing at the sight of both of you. You could hear each drip, each drop and a low growling deep in his throat. He looked so dazed, so off and out of it.

His hand swifting across a bit against his abdomen, then leaving, then coming back. You giggle.

As much as you did want to fuck them here an right there. You wanted to wait. You wanted them to feel excited, a longing.

Beg.

You wanted them to beg.

You got closer to Sam's mouth, a mere inch between you two. His heavy breathing flowing and blowing onto you, quickening then slowing down and hitching. He was frustrated too, his hand shifting down to his abdomen, close to his dick.

Oh you couldn't allow that.

You wouldn't allow it.

You grabbed his hand, pulling it up to your face. Innocently, you did it innocently a gentle face directed towards him, hiding all of your intentions. Until you bit into his hand. A muffled moan went out of his mouth.

He clenched his teeth together just to not be heard.

Cute.

Still you bet he would sound even cuter if he just let out his sound. If it hadn't been muffled.

You let go of his hand, letting it fall down to the side. You winked and propped out your tongue at him, saliva dripping and coated around your tongue. His face was completely red now, a bulge appearing on his pants.

Tapping from the other side, Max was tapping his foot manic and impatient. His eyes still looked dazed but they looked more insane and crazy than usual. You smirked and clicked on the controller, turning the movie finally on. Sound emitting from the tv.

And suddenly they all moved their attention to the screen. Sure, small twitches here and there but no longer so focused on you, or for Max both of you.

They said nothing, completely silent. The stares and blushing features on them however betrayed them. Max still had drool all over him and Sam still had his erectness going on.

You smiled slyly as you watched the movie. The atmosphere in the movie was somehow not very different from the atmosphere you had laying across your living room.

The thick tension, Max's obvious want to tear through both your flesh and Sam's. Sam gazing at where your sex lied. Sexual tension in the room just as hot as the movie. You could already tell a gruesome scene was going to come up.

You grinned wildly, already getting turned on by the intensivitity of the movie. Even Max's attention was brought to the movie, Sam seemed to avert his stare at your sex, now also watching the movie.

Max grinned a manic smile, his eyes turning into slits giving the interpretation of crazy. Sam stared at the scene happening before him

A scream from the woman on the screen, her clit was exposed and a beast of a man was staring her down, towering over her pinned down body. Not even looking man and more monster.

The monster took a claw against the woman's hole, acting as if it was going to finger her. Until slashing at her vulva, tearing it completely apart. A shriek, the worst shriek you had ever heard in your entire life.

Blood was pooling out of the woman's vulva. Showing her vagina. Her cervix and uterus destroyed, slit up right for the viewers comfort and view.

The scene changed, instead the beast began tearing her apart at every organ, every part or at any space it could find. Blood splashing everywhere as the woman wailed and cried, screeching and flailing. Cum was leaked out from the womans vagina after having been destroyed, urine splashing at the claw of the feline probably still having been in the body. Guts and various essential systems destroyed at the hands of the beast. Lungs lost of all it's purpose, nerves popped and splashing, quickly shooting out all of its liquid.

Intestines spread across the room, having been flanged and ripped out of the womans body. She began hurling up the blood, quickly loosing her consciousness slowly succumbing to deaths sweet embrace. Her eyes loosing her light and color, until the beast plucked out the eyes of her sockets, the last optic nerve slowly but shortly being ripped from the vitreous, creating a small quelshing sound. Gurgling, and horrid screams, liquid and squishy gluttonous sounds are heard from the scene. Enough to make an old woman faint.

You smiled getting more and more turned on as more organs lied exposed across the room, the sounds only making it better.

Blood was about to spill across the carpet.