Sam X Max X Reader - Tumblr Posts

Blood Across The Carpet PT1

Pairing; Sam x Max x reader

Words: 4341

Inspired by Guts on ao3 (by sammys_lover)

Tw: HEAVY GORE, smut/NSFW, might be dead dove: do not eat, sadomasochism (they're all sadomasochists, blood kink, cannibalism?, hickeys, suggestive, masturbation, fourth wall breaking, MINORS DNI!

PT2

Midnight, it was midnight and it was at this hour you did your masturbating sessions. Already in your bed, you began stripping yourself. Pulling off your pants, shirt and swiftly disposing of your underwear.

You adjust your legs giving you more access to your now bothered sex, currently now begging you to touch it. You pick up your vibrator and place it on your erogenous zone. It turning on, sending you gentle vibrating. You shiver at the effect. You slowly rub and sensually touch against your sex.

You giggle to yourself, already thinking about them. How they would kiss you, give you hickeys on your most sensual spots.

Your breath hitched as you slowly but gradually began speeding up. You closed your eyes and continued to fantasize about them.

What sounds they'd make, perhaps pinning them down and causing them to squirm against you.

You stiffle a moan, picking up the pace with much more higher haste.

You had a few neighbors that were parents so you would rather not have their children hear you full on moaning while you were masturbating.

You turned up the level of your vibrator.

You imagined caressing their ears and their cheeks, while they bite into you. Would- would they purr? Moan, make sounds of their own, maybe you could give them hickeys. Maybe you would make out with them during the sexual seque-

A knock on your door sounded through the room, ever reminding you of your nagging responsibilities.

You yelp, immediately stopping with your activities.

Another knock sounded, almost impatient. You make a high-pitched groan, probably due to your frustrated and bothered sex, currently now pulsating and being a little too swollen for your liking. You lazily slump out of bed, still wanting to finish your now interrupted session.

You took off the vibrator and placed it on your nightstand. Standing up on the floor, you picked your clothes back up and shuffled into them. Not even bothering to put on your underwear, instead only wearing pants and a shirt. The knocking comes back again and you huff.

"Coming! Just wait a second." You yell across the room.

You stomp towards the door, still irritated by the interruption. You open the door getting ready to yell at the 'intruder.' Until shortly stopping yourself after realizing it was just your two favorite homicidal maniacs you adored so much.

Max, the egocentric rabid bunny who seemed to always jump at murder whenever given the chance and Sam, a dog who acted as the voice of reason. Although, you knew he was very much far from this whenever presented the chance and small hints at a possible sociopath.

Two friends you would gladly welcome in your humble abode at anytime, however THIS was one of the times where you absolutely did not wanna see them considering your.. predicament.

And besides the fact that you literally just fantasized about them fucking you while masturbating.

You mentally slapped yourself, well fuck.

"Oh hey guys.. what are you two doing here?"

The rabbit began snickering about something all so suddenly while Sam was giving him a look of disapproval.

Two seconds in the job and you already managed to fuck it up. Great stuff, (Y/N).

"The real question is how you managed to wet yourself! We're not THAT scary (Y/N), and I who thought you got used to us." He stated the last part dramatically, laced with sarcasm.

You furrow your eyebrows, confused by his statement. You share a look with Sam. He clears his throat and point towards your pants, avoiding eye contact.

You look down.

What the hell were they talking about-

Oh-

You touch your pants, where your private part was hiding. It was wet, undeniably wet.

OH

You flushed, face red with embarrassment.

Cum.. It was cum.

Max gasps melodramatically, Sam gives him a look, shaking his head in disapproval.

"(Y/N), infront of us?! Do you have no shame? Who knew you were so.. kinky." He said feigning seductiveness in his voice, trying to sound low and husky at the last part. (He wasn't that good at it, failed actually.)

You could've just die right then and there.

You flush an even deeper red, your breath even hitching. You avoid his gaze, eyes trailing to your door.

"No- well I-"

As soon as your voice hitched you stopped.

Max eyes his partner smugly, a certain smirk plastered on his face. He drags out his hand towards the dog, expecting something to land in his hands.

You raised an eyebrow.

What were they doing?-

"Money."

Sam attempts to rolls his eyes and quickly places the cash in the palm of the bunny rabbit's hands. Max snickers to himself, counting the cash.

No way did they just bet on you. There is no way.

"Anyways, Max and I was just wondering if you'd let us stay for a while-"

"We WON'T be long!" Max interrupted, giggling about something.

A bad pun probably.

"Sure, why not."

Shit, autopilot.

The couple let themselves in your place, Sam closing the door behind himself and smiling at you almost nervously. Just as you were about to take a step forward Max hopped on your face.

Your vision was basically taken over by him.

"Lookin' stylish as usual (Y/N)! A little bit worn, but attractive!"

He got off of you. You rolled your eyes at him, walking towards your couch as the two follow you.

"I already told you Max. You won't get my machete, no matter how much flattery you give me."

Max groans at this, huffing while Sam chuckles.

"Better luck next time, little pal."

You grin, looking down at the rabbit for any reactions at Sam's comment.

"Buuut Saaam, it looks so nice 'n sharp." He whines, slumping a little bit while walking.

Sam only chuckles and Max turns to you, brightening up a bit. He jumps on your shoulder, grabbing at your face

"If you give me that machete of yours, I'll tell you all about Sam's recent-" he turned to Sam. "-mishaps.." he snickered, all to mischievous in his tone.

Tempting..

"HEY!"

You looked at Max then Sam.

Max held a mischievous look filled with sadistic urges and Sam had the appearance of a lost puppy, pleading you with all his heart to say no.

Luckily for you, that didn't work on you and as much as you did want to know about Sam's secrets (and possibly kinks) you didn't think your machete was up for the trade.

"Tempting, but as much as I do like the idea. I value my machete much more over a little.. gossip." You giggle.

Max gave you a both amused and disappointed expression, jumping off your shoulders. "Your hesitance would say otherwise."

Fuck. Then again, you would pick this topic over the.. other topic considering it's implications. You were honestly surprised Max even dropped it considering him.

When you had arrived at the couch, both Sam and max had quickly sat down along with you. You were just about to say something until Max's stomach rumbled.

Max groans immediately, grabbing a few toys from his.. fur? What how?! Pocket fur?!

"When are we gonna eat?! I'm staarving." He drawled out, still playing with his dolls.

You raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't eat before you went here?"

"We were in a hurry!" Sam enters the conversation, albeit defensive.

You look at him with skeptic eyes, confused why he had said that oh so defensively.

"Sam, if you went through all this just to steal some food away from me, I will punt your ass-"

"Just make sure to do it against a wall. He's very nimble and fast, despite his height." Max remarked nonchalantly.

You stared him down. He eyes you a bit confused.

What-

"Look, (Y/N) I'm flattered that you even think I can do it like THAT but, have you seen my height?!" He gestures to himself.

Now that you think about it, he did have a point.

You mentally slap yourself.

Stupid, stupid, STUPID brain-

"Now, when can we eat? I mean, not to interrupt your conversation about punting me in a wall but my stomach here is having a little bit of a spectrum."

You gaze at him with a puzzled expression, almost concerned.

How did he manage to talk about THAT so casually?! Especially about him?

"You mean you're hungry?"

Sam nods. You glance towards the kitchen, standing up from the couch. Max perks up, eye glinting a bit. You rolled your eyes at him.

"No Max, I do not have conveniently placed corpse in the kitchen that we can eat."

He deflates and huffs, turning back to his dolls.

"If you keep this up you might find a corpse in your bed tonight." He giggles way to mischievously. You shudder at the thought. He looks back up to you, enjoying your reaction. "Don't worry, it won't be you."

"God, I wish." You grumbled a bit, face flushing.

This time Sam smirked, staring right at Max. Sam drawled out his hand towards him. He grumbled and went through his invisible pockets pulling out some cash and giving it to the smug dog. Sam snickered, putting the cash in his pockets.

Fucking hell, these two would be the death of you.

And you were going to enjoy every second of it.

"Anyways, I don't think I have any food for you two. Kind of empty in the fridge right now."

Sam deflates and Max only slumps a bit. You smirk.

"BUT, I think I have some corn dogs left from your last visit. Interested?"

Both lunatics perk up immediately at the words 'corn dogs.' Max threw away the dolls on the floor, one doll lost its head at the impact as he ran full speed into the kitchen. Sam bolted as well, leaving you there to chuckle for yourself at their antics.

Until your chuckling was broken by a shuffling sound coming from the kitchen.

Shit.

Max.

"MAX!"

You dash into the kitchen and seeing that indeed Max was rampaging in your kitchen for some corn dogs. You sigh and find the corn dogs immediately, glaring at the bunny while he simply giggled at the attention. You averted your stare, now putting full attention on the dog. Sam chuckled a bit nervously.

"Why didn't you stop him?!"

"Trust me I did!" He defends himself.

Max giggles, gazing halflidded towards Sam. Giving him a certain look.

"Ooo, strivin' for appreciation now are we?" He taunts.

Sam roles his eyes at this, though blushing a bit. You couldn't help but feel a little flattered.

But you were pretty sure they didn't love you that way. You weren't even sure if they were open for a polyamoryous relationship. Besides, they seemed as happy as is as of now.

Still the thought of you being in a relationship with them?

You blushed.

Always turned your gears.

You sigh.

Too bad it's never happening.

You got slapped across the face by a certain paw, interrupting your thoughts.

"HEY! EARTH TO (Y/N), DO YA HEAR ME?!" He yells.

You huff and stroke your face where Max had slapped you.

"Max, as much as I do like your fists in my face, don't hit me when I'm internally monologuing about my surroundings and vise versa, capiche?"

"Hey you know I can't keep promises! Especially when 'm hungry."

You squint at Max, until huffing. "Well, fair- alright FINE, just don't interrupt me again or I'll use the b word." He grins even wider, looking at you with a certain.. look.

"Don't ya worry about the b word! You're allowed to swear here, surprisingly."

You deadpan him right in the eye.

Fucking stupid anthropomorphic bunny.

"Not that word you doofus!" Sam enters the conversation. Max simply stares, perplexed and dumbfounded.

"Then what?!" Max looks around with furrowed eyes and.. eyebrows? Where did those come from? I guess it's similar to his disappearing mouth.

"HONEYBUN!" You both yell. A small 'ohhh' sound comes out of Max. You and Sam both share a look.

Silence...

Max breaks it of course.

"Anyways, can we just get this snappy!? I'm starting to get the intense urge to 'nick' at that wall."

You roll your eyes, and put the three corn dogs in the microwave, turning it on. Max skips to the table smiling all the way.

You lean against the counter eyeing the pair.

Silence.

Unusual for the two morons.

Until they eye you up and down.

Oh, fuck.

So this was where things were going?

You were in no shape or form for this.

You blush immediately. Sam looks away, a certain red on his face and Max being smug, a tint of blush lying on his face although faint.

"So about that wetness earlier.."

HOW?! HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO SAY THAT SO CASUALLY?!

"Y-YEAH?" Your voice was high pitched, probably due to excitement and embarrassment. You went a deeper red. Your sex was already cumming. You hated how sensitive and easily bothered your sex was.

Then again you WERE just masturbating before these two lagomorths decided to interrupt. So you can't say you're surprised.

"W-WHAT ABOUT IT?!"

You avoid eye contact, instead looking towards the side.

"What were you-"

The microwave beeped interrupting his sentence, you immediately turning your attention to the microwave. Max perked up at the sound, now turning all his attention to the corn dogs. Sam looked albeit bashful, not completely focused. You grab three corn dogs out of the microwave, giving them to your fellow friends.

You sit down at the table, biting into the corn dog, plain. They both stare at you, confused.

"What?"

"You're not even going to have something on them?!" Sam asks surprised.

You shrug. "Not that hungry for ho- I mean corn dogs. I ate about 45 minutes ago?" You take another bite.

"But you always have some sort of weird topping on 'em!" Max joins in.

"Not today."

They both share a look before shrugging, biting into their corn dogs as well.

You check the clock. It was late. You usually would've prepared for bed and all by now. You bite into the corn dog, munching a bit.

You glance at them.

Just how long were they planning to stay?

Max was staring at you wildly, a certain glint in his eyes. You eye him quizzically. You bite into the corn dog once again. His ears twitched.

The hell is going on-

Oh wait.

OH.

You blushed looking away from the rabbit.

Shit.

Why is he fucking horny right now.

You look towards Sam. His breath was visibly quickened, breathy sighs escaping him.

Okay fine. Maybe they were both horny right now.

Not that you weren't horny, you would even say you're more troubled than them right now.

You know what fuck it.

You chuckled, gazing at Max with full confidence.

"Max, as much as I would love to tear you apart limb from limb by my teeth. I don't think that's age appropriate with our audience-"

"(Y/N), (Y/N), THIS thing is explicitly marked for mature audiences! The people clearly know what they're getting into!"

Both Sam, Max and you stare at the readers.

You all turn back. "He's got a point. Wouldn't wanna upset all our readers over here."

You shrug at Sam's statement, going back into the groove. You take a last bite into the corn dog and throw the stick into the trash can.

"You think you could do one of those on me?" Max giggled a bit, looking a bit manic and excited.

"Maybe later Max. Besides we haven't reached that point yet."

He huffs and throws the corn dog in his mouth, devouring it whole. (Yes, along with the stick.)

How?!

You turn to Sam seeing that he too was done. He probably finished it before you anyway, he's usually the first to finish his plate.

You yawn, still feeling a bit swollen and sensitive at your sex. You didn't even get to finish because of these morons. Max stares at you as you yawn, almost a bit impatient and disappointed for some unknown reason.

You stretch out your limbs as well as your back, a few snaps and joints popping back into place. You rub your eyes, trying to focus on the pair.

"You two gonna leave soon? I have a feeling I'm gonna take some REM sleep soon."

"Is it okay if we stay here for the night? Max and I are having a bit of a.." He eyes his partner. "Predicament."

You furrow your eyebrows at the pair.

What were they going to do? Live here?

"Fine, but be quiet alright?"

Max smirks at you, looking particularly suggestive in some way. Sam chuckles, probably already knowing what was going to go down.

"What gave you that idea (Y/N)?~"

Fucking hell, you could not deal with all of this tension. Awkward, but also not and sexual tension.

Luckily for you, Sam comes to the rescue.

"How about we watch a movie?"

Sam has betrayed you.

Max perks up, ears stretching up a bit and his eyes going wider. Sam chuckles, looking down at his partner.

Max jumps off the chair, running to the living room. You follow behind him, Sam coming shortly after. You all sit in the couch. Until Max runs off to his dolls, picking them back up and running back to the couch.

You all stare at each other.

"So who's turn is it?"

Max and Sam both look at each other.

"Isn't it my turn this time?" Max says.

You glance at Sam.

"Actually I think it's Sam's turn."

"Have you checked the notebook?"

You look at the notebook.

"Yep, it's Sam's turn."

You give the remote controller to Sam. He stares at it for a bit. "Well, what should I pick?"

You and Max both share a look of excitement, turning back to Sam.

"Horror." You both say. "And make it the gore-y kind, I don't want some soft 'n gentle shit." Max continues. Sam chuckles and gives him a look. He turns to your tv and presses a button, turning the tv on.

You stare at the small rabid lagomorth sitting next to you.

Oh, a horror movie.

You know how he can get at a horror movie. All turned on at that. Especially if it has realistic gore.

You blush turning to the side.

And you.

Shit.

Something was going to go down, wasn't it?

Movie night? Sleep over? Gore?

Such a cliché.

"Do you two have any suggestions?"

Both you and Max perk up, staring at Sam. He looks at you two with slight regret, preparing what's to come. Max opens his mouth but you shut him up. You smirk at him, giving him a mischievous giggle. He only returns it, getting your gist.

You personally wanted to see what Sam was gonna pick himself. Besides, seeing him struggle while looking for some good gruesome movies for you two would be very amusing. It was clear that he didn't watch a lot of horror movies, especially the graphic ones. He only watched when you two wanted to or did.

That wasn't to say he didn't enjoy them. In fact, there were a few scenes where you could obviously see he was turned on. Understandable though, that guy getting his head ripped off with that monster with the possessive voice and all was pretty hot.

Sam eyes you two skeptically, confused by why not any of you would suggest a movie. He tugs at his chin, in thought.

How cute.

"Well? What are you waiting for Sam? Turn the movie on already you had promised us." You say with a twinge of sarcasm and mischief, although it was subtle. Unnoticeable by the blind eye.

He eyed you before turning to the tv, flicking through multiple horror movies in the catalogue presented to him, trying to find the perfect one. A drop of sweat even fell down the poor dog's forehead. You couldn't help but snicker, Max joined in too.

He furrows his gaze at you two, clearly suspicious over your snickering. You pull up your phone, looking for the most graphic horror movies ever made.

Cheater..

You smirk at him, giving him a certain gaze. You grab his hand with the remote controller, caressing his fingers for a bit. He looks up to you almost a bit meekly, faint blush appearing on his cheeks. You pull off your most softest smile at him, he flushes even more. You give his hand a small caress.

He shuddered.

He looked as if he was gonna die.

"Here, let me help." Low and gentle, your voice was. It reminded you of some VERY sexual scenes in your head. Ideas for later, keep them in mind.

He only nodded in response. You smirked and caressed his hand while picking the movie your webrowser had shown. Or the website to be more specific. You even moved his hand up, acting as if you were going to suck on his fingers, until quickly giggling.

Each shudder and hitch of his breath, the flushing, his obvious excitement only made you more hungry.

Hungry for him, hungry for both of them.

Excitement and pleasure, the feeling of your sex getting more bothered by his reactions until you finally stopped to click on the movie. Max was drooling beside you, gazing at the sight of both of you. You could hear each drip, each drop and a low growling deep in his throat. He looked so dazed, so off and out of it.

His hand swifting across a bit against his abdomen, then leaving, then coming back. You giggle.

As much as you did want to fuck them here an right there. You wanted to wait. You wanted them to feel excited, a longing.

Beg.

You wanted them to beg.

You got closer to Sam's mouth, a mere inch between you two. His heavy breathing flowing and blowing onto you, quickening then slowing down and hitching. He was frustrated too, his hand shifting down to his abdomen, close to his dick.

Oh you couldn't allow that.

You wouldn't allow it.

You grabbed his hand, pulling it up to your face. Innocently, you did it innocently a gentle face directed towards him, hiding all of your intentions. Until you bit into his hand. A muffled moan went out of his mouth.

He clenched his teeth together just to not be heard.

Cute.

Still you bet he would sound even cuter if he just let out his sound. If it hadn't been muffled.

You let go of his hand, letting it fall down to the side. You winked and propped out your tongue at him, saliva dripping and coated around your tongue. His face was completely red now, a bulge appearing on his pants.

Tapping from the other side, Max was tapping his foot manic and impatient. His eyes still looked dazed but they looked more insane and crazy than usual. You smirked and clicked on the controller, turning the movie finally on. Sound emitting from the tv.

And suddenly they all moved their attention to the screen. Sure, small twitches here and there but no longer so focused on you, or for Max both of you.

They said nothing, completely silent. The stares and blushing features on them however betrayed them. Max still had drool all over him and Sam still had his erectness going on.

You smiled slyly as you watched the movie. The atmosphere in the movie was somehow not very different from the atmosphere you had laying across your living room.

The thick tension, Max's obvious want to tear through both your flesh and Sam's. Sam gazing at where your sex lied. Sexual tension in the room just as hot as the movie. You could already tell a gruesome scene was going to come up.

You grinned wildly, already getting turned on by the intensivitity of the movie. Even Max's attention was brought to the movie, Sam seemed to avert his stare at your sex, now also watching the movie.

Max grinned a manic smile, his eyes turning into slits giving the interpretation of crazy. Sam stared at the scene happening before him

A scream from the woman on the screen, her clit was exposed and a beast of a man was staring her down, towering over her pinned down body. Not even looking man and more monster.

The monster took a claw against the woman's hole, acting as if it was going to finger her. Until slashing at her vulva, tearing it completely apart. A shriek, the worst shriek you had ever heard in your entire life.

Blood was pooling out of the woman's vulva. Showing her vagina. Her cervix and uterus destroyed, slit up right for the viewers comfort and view.

The scene changed, instead the beast began tearing her apart at every organ, every part or at any space it could find. Blood splashing everywhere as the woman wailed and cried, screeching and flailing. Cum was leaked out from the womans vagina after having been destroyed, urine splashing at the claw of the feline probably still having been in the body. Guts and various essential systems destroyed at the hands of the beast. Lungs lost of all it's purpose, nerves popped and splashing, quickly shooting out all of its liquid.

Intestines spread across the room, having been flanged and ripped out of the womans body. She began hurling up the blood, quickly loosing her consciousness slowly succumbing to deaths sweet embrace. Her eyes loosing her light and color, until the beast plucked out the eyes of her sockets, the last optic nerve slowly but shortly being ripped from the vitreous, creating a small quelshing sound. Gurgling, and horrid screams, liquid and squishy gluttonous sounds are heard from the scene. Enough to make an old woman faint.

You smiled getting more and more turned on as more organs lied exposed across the room, the sounds only making it better.

Blood was about to spill across the carpet.

And it's out! I hope you enjoy part 1 <33 BTW I HAVE NOT PROOF READ IT. PLEASE IF YOU SEE ANY WRITING MISTAKES JUST COMMENT OR REBLOG. Thank you.

EDIT: this is also my first smut fic for sam and max so I'm sorry if it isn't good. But anyways don't be afraid to add constructive criticism. I always strive to become a better writer.

Next part of Blood Across The Carpet coming soon <3333

Blood Across The Carpet PT2 (END)

Pairing: Sam x Reader x Max

TW: SMUT/NSFW, BLOOD KINK, saliva kink, threesome, oral sex, anal sex, face fucking, GORE, fourth wall breaking, very badly written MINORS DNI.

It had been a while. Right now you three were halfway into the movie. Just another half and it would be done! It had also been strangely quiet. Unusual for the two lunatics.

Still, you could definitely understand why. All these gruesome scenes made it hard not to pounce on these two. You're sure Max felt the same considering all his twitches and excited movements. You were honestly surprised he hadn't pounced on you two yet. He didn't have the best impulse control considering.. many facts.

Yet he still kept his composure. You were honestly more surprised over you still keeping your composure. You had always been the more horny of the duo, kinky and all that. And considering this movie's pacing and graphic scenes, you weren't sure if you could last any longer.

You were going to eventually burst or Max was. It was gonna be one of you two, or it would be none. Well, maybe Sam but he wasn't prone to acting on impulse. You stared at the tv, trying to ignore the drool and your obviously twitching eyes. You were pretty sure you looked rabid right now and perhaps even more insane than Max right now.

Your twitching and tense movements, your heavy ragged breathing, the blush covering your face, the sweat running down your forehead and your wide frantic looking eyes.

Okay maybe frantic wasn't the right words, manic was. Or perhaps even worse.

Now that you think about it, you may look more like a horny perverted maniacal beast but that was besides the point. Oh wait, maybe you looked more like a rapist?

Thinking about it now, you hadn't even looked at the sociopathic lunatics next to you who could jump on you at any moment. Well, you had but you would say it was more of a glance without actually even getting a glimpse of it.

Not that you would, considering your face.

You turned your attention back to the movie, now actually paying attention to the scenes. Two cops were talking to each other while the detective was simply giving out information and what it could gather.

They were in a closed and dark place, lights barely shining on the alleyway they were in. The atmosphere gloomy and nerve-racking, how typical. One of the cops looking like the worried and nervous guy while the other one was tough and seemingly brave, wearing a proud posture.

After the detective had given all the information, it left with an ominous aura leaving behind it, chuckling all the way. The two simply waved and went on their way, taking another way than the detective.

Suddenly, a loud screech was heard from behind them. The two stood still, frozen in shock. A roar and a monster hunching over them. Drool was dripping on their head from the salivating beast behind them. The two finally turned around, trembling and terrified from the contact and the roar behind them. They stared at the beast, looking at it wide eyed.

They screamed and bolted away from the beast, trying their best to avoid it. It simply roared again and sprinted towards them. In mere seconds it had them already pinned down against the cold and rough ground. It showed its teeth, dry blood covering its sharp canines. Saliva was covering its teeth, dripping down on the two cops.

Their faces were petrified to say the very least. Maybe even worse than even that. One even fainted you think? You leaned in, not being able to contain yourself as you stroked against your private part.

Well, you had to get it out somehow. It was going to happen eventually anyways.

The beast devoured the guy who fainted in mere seconds, swallowing him up while gluttonous glug sounds could be heard. The body practically vanished, the last thing being able to see was their feet as they got completely swallowed.

Disappointing.. you were thinking more blood and organs.

The beast glared at the other one. It stared at it momentarily until slashing through it's body. He screamed, thrashing and sobbing against the beast as blood practically splashed out of him. Another set of organs being shown.

You weren't sure if you could take it anymore. You were going to pounce on them or you were going to suffer in silence-

Another scream as the cracking of bones could be heard-

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

What-

Max practically threw himself against you, clashing his teeth into the nape of your neck causing you to moan loudly. Soft but somehow rough hands pinning you down against Sam while you were getting the literal daylights sucked out of you. This was more akin to pouncing onto prey but god was it hot.

And a blessing to your godamn fucking frustrated sex.

You digged your nails into Max and pulled him closer against your sex, begging for some kind of friction. Max moaned into you and thrusted harder into your neck. You couldn't help but let sensual sounds escape you as you pulled him closer and bit into him with such ferocity that blood was flowing out of him like a river. Well, maybe not THAT badly but you get the jizz.

Max's canines let go of your neck, his breath hitching throughout your biting. You swiftly swapped the position and pinned him down into Sam's crotch causing a yelp to escape Sam. Sam was absolutely flushed, you could already sense his excitement.

You stroke against Max's crotch, a yelp escaping him as his breath hitched. He looked at the side a bit, attempting to avoid eye contact. You pushed his head immediately down against Sam's cock causing both the lagomorths to yelp, forcing eye contact with Max. You plunged yourself against his teeth, kissing him harshly while he squirmed against you, desperate for friction. You smirked mid in your kiss and pushed up and down with Max's head, your knee going up against his crotch, trying to find his erogenous zone-

A moan.

You felt a slit.

He has a slit?

Okay.

You can deal with this.

You thrust your knee into his hole, blasting it. Max mewls against your kiss, pushing him up and down letting Sam get friction too. Sam hitching and inhaling in moans. You kneed Max as he began rocking his hips around your knee, closing his legs around it keeping your knee in place. You grunted wanting to feel friction of your own and pulled away from the kiss, finally getting some air. You pulled Sam towards you, nipping at him for a while until throwing him to the side of the couch causing a light thump sound. You removed your knee from Max's slit, he groaned and whimpered a bit at this until you got on Sam and tore his clothes off in mere seconds, revealing his cock. You smirked and adjusted Sam against Max's slit, giving him the gist.

With a final smirk towards Max you turned back to Sam. You stripped and threw your clothes to the side, letting the cold air fall onto your sex as it throbbed. You adjusted your sex over Sam's mouth. You poked at his canines, gesturing him to open them. He hurriedly obliges, almost in a lust filled haze. You were too, to be honest. As soon as he opens his canines you throw yourself down into it, you sex now currently giving full access to his tongue. You rock your hips at him giving him a seductive look, until quickly giggling.

Without hesitation, his tongue lapped on your sex, rolling around it and licking as much as it could while at the same time plunging into Max. Moans were sounding through the room, thrust after thrust your sex started getting more desperate. You rocked your hips against his tongue, trying to get as much as possible, saliva was coating your sex as you started to cum at his tongue lapping around. More and more saliva wrapping up and down on it. Breathy moans all escaping you as Sam was eating your cum up. You were just about to finish until you got up and away from Sam's tongue.

You wanted to last.

You smirked as breathless pants came out of you. Sam got out of Max, him simply whimpering. You all took a breather, gasping for air.

"I- I n-need a mo.." You stated breathlessly. They all simply nodded along with your statement.

After a few moments of rest you propped your anus on Sam's dick. Sam's breath hitched excitedly as Max jumped on Sam, allowing his slit being wide open. Your breath hitched.

Fucking hell did you wanna finger him.

..Later.

You adjusted your anus and began rocking around Sam, closing your eyes allowing you to take it easy for a bit. Until Sam began thrusting into you. You eyes twitched and you breath hitched, sensual sensations going through you enough to make you crazy. Then suddenly, everything seemed to fade away and only Sam mattered at this point. You moved your hips against Sam's shaft, letting the movements slowly become rougher. The sensation of having Sam fuck you while you fucked him back was making your heart race. Your breath was quickening with every thrust Sam gave you, moaning as you tried hard to not come yet. Sam thrust faster, thrusting even harder. You didn't have the strength to even move properly, so you kept moving against him. You continued doing whatever you possibly could, moving around. Moving around.

Until you finally removed yourself from Sam, you panted not even looking at was Sam had done to Max. Max looked visibly exhausted too but you didn't let that slide. You sat down on Sam's dick but not letting it slide in you, Sam grunted and you pulled Max towards you, he yelped. You pushed your fingers into his slit, pumping in and out. He was mewling against you, drool running down from his canines. You used another hand to grab Sam's hand into your mouth, lapping at them and licking on them, prodding at any space you could find, sucking and nipping a bit. They were all a moaning mess, yes you weren't done yet.

You pulled out Sam's fingers out of your mouth and let it rest to the side a bit, instead putting the fingers you had in Max into your mouth, wetting them a little before thrusting back into Max. Max groaned and rocked his hips around your fingers, enjoying the new wet feeling in him.

A breathy sigh escaped you as you switched to Sam, wanting to try deepthroating. You grabbed against his cock and threw it in your mouth, sucking and thrusting up and down as Sam mewled against you, breathy moans escaping him at each suck and tongue lapping onto his cock. You thrusted him deeper into your throat, licking him all the way which made you gag. When Sam's cock hit the back of your throat he came, a loud moan leaving him and the sight of him spurting into the back of your throat was delious. You gulped down all his cum, letting it run down your throat. It was thick and warm, almost suffocating for your throat. You gagged moaning a bit until you gulped again.

You laughed, Sam was pretty much finished. You moved back to Max aiming at his slit and biting around it, he moaned at this, turning around to face you and bites back. You yelp and lap a tongue around his slit causing him to falter at the sensitivity. You lick him a couple times until it grew less sensitive and you pull out of his slit, licking his lips clean then placing your face between his legs. His erection was pulsing against your cheek and you leaned back slightly, taking it in and feeling your insides grow warm.

You fingered yourself all the while, stroking against your private part all to sensually just to help yourself come. You knew these two would come, you had fucked them endless.

You sucked and lapped around Max's slit, him squirming more and more coming closer and closer.

And he came.

Cum ran out of him and into your mouth, you delicately swiping it away with your tongue until you came all over the couch.

Oh right, you were still on the couch.

Finally you all finished, panting heavily and looking to the side. You grabbed the blankets on the side of your couch and wrapped you and the two lunatics in it. You nuzzled against them.

"We have got to do that again." You breathed out, they all nodded along. Max giggled through pants.

"And you have to take me to one of your targets some time. I wanna have front row seats."

You smirked and nipped at him a little, until pulling out.

"Maybe later honeybun. Besides, I don't have any targets yet to assassinate."

You giggled while Max groanned, Sam simply chuckled.

"Hey I've told you about that b-word!"

You chuckled, rolling your eyes at him until turning to the TV. You raised an eyebrow.

"Hey wasn't that on before?"

Max looked at the TV and chuckled.

"It was but the author completely forgot about it after being in their horny fuck haze."

They all laugh turning towards the author.

[The author denies this claim and simply states that they were drunk.]

Sam chuckles.

"Isn't that just what Max explained except it being one singular word?"

[NO]

And they all fall asleep the end or something lousy like that I dunno.

Sam x Reader x Max (ROMANTIC HEADCANONS)

• Fucking hell, do you have death wish? You got together, with THESE TWO?! Damn, that's surprising. Usually they never gain interest on ANY other people. Let alone romantically or other weird blissful feelings. Yet here you are.

• You three are a literal power couple. Okay fine, maybe not on the "literal" sense but certainly powerful. You, being the peace keeper, although secretly causing mischief behind the scenes. Sam, being the the logical and sensible one, but secretly enjoying yours and Max's violent acts towards humanity. Max, being the mischievous menace to society as per usual and partaking in sadistic acts regularly. In a short way of describing him. Gremlin, lagomorth, psychopath and etc.

• Look, they're not really physically affectionate. Sure, Max is very physical and touchy but it's not affectionate. (Well, I guess it could be seen as affectionate.) Max would even say he's uncomfortable with physical affection. However, he tends to be more affectionate indoors, clingy and many other adjectives. Just don't be too physical with him unless it involves gratuitous acts of violence. He only gets uncomfortable if you (or anyone, really) touches him. Fine with touching others, unnerved when someone touches him.

• Max tends to nuzzle against you, hopping on your shoulders and leaning down for an upside down kiss. He can be very gentle and cute with it. Or he can let impulses take the best of him and thrash against you. He can be VERY rough with his affection when impluse takes over. Maybe even clawing against you, biting you (hickeys) or just otherwise hurting you. (Unless, well masochist.) He is also a cuddler, weirdly? Tries to be big spoon. (Succeeds a lot, actually. Obviously.)

• Sam is a bit different. He's a lot more affectionate, but just like Max he is more affectionate indoors. Sure, a few hugs here and there when on the job or while in a case but otherwise most of the acts are done in closed doors. But- fuck, is he affectionate. He is absolutely adorable when he's affectionate. Nuzzles, hugs and so many kisses. Also his little tail wag is just- the cherry on top man. He is also SUCH a cuddler. (He's also the little spoon, fucking bottom sub.)

• Sam has an insane vocabulary. He will give you the weirdest of compliments with the most unusual words. Sometimes you aren't even sure if it's a compliment. The only way you know it's supposed to be a compliment is by his tone.

• If you're a sadomasochist, you three will get into a bunch of acts. Tearing a man's skin off, gouging someone's eyes out- you get the idea! However, most of the times it's you and Max participating in these acts while Sam does sometimes.

• Puns, and LOTS of wordplay with these two. These two will constantly joke and make morbid jokes. With you in the gang it only multiplies.

• Max enjoys being thrown into a wall and many other sadomasochist acts. If you can, do it as much as you can per day. For some reason he get more snarky and aggressive than usual when you haven't hurt him enough. Aggressive to OTHER people that is. Which usually leads to things and more unexplainable things.

• Despite the fact that they're the "police" they participate in illegal acts almost everyday. Then again it's not that surprising considering.. well them. (Usually it's selling organs to the black market *COUGH* *COUGH* but let's not talk about that.)

• You three usually go to this weird restaurant Max enjoys. The restaurant is err.. well questionable to the very least. But you've gotta say you've come to love the place and so has Sam.

• Look, with these two on your tail there will ALWAYS be adventure no matter how insane it sounds.

Suplex Supperdox

Pairing: Sam x Max x Reader

Words: 1389

Warnings: GORE, mentions of sex, angst(barely), but other than that it's pretty tame, nothing sexual actually happens.

I HAVE NOT PROOFREAD THIS, don't except it to be perfect. And unlike my other 6000 words something smut fic this one is obviously a bit shorter.

Also this fic is obviously gender-neutral. Come get your shit simps.

Summary:

Going on a date with Sam and Max, you find yourself in an unexpected situation and having a conversation with them about your job.

Sounds of guts and blood getting thrown and splattered out of the body fills the dark and wide forest. Max's grin getting wider and wider as he used his weird saw bat to shred the already dead corpse. You helping along with your sharp axe you got at a market a long time ago and Sam lovingly looking at the two of you. Kind've in the sense of- oh I dunno "look at these two dorks" or "they'll never change will they?" sort of way, kinda not really at the same time. Point is, I forgot the word and now I'm making up lines.

You hit the corpse on its shoulder just perfectly slicing it off of its place, creating a grotesque pop and crunch sound as well as a squelching sound from the flesh. You quirk an eyebrow and grab onto the arm with your already bloodied hand. You look at it with great intent. Examining it you found a particular bone that piqued your interest. You stared at it until delicately putting your fingers around the head of the humerus popping out of the bicep. After studying it you roughly rip the humerus out of the flesh making a strange squishing sort of sound and a twist of the flesh once having held it together.

Bone in hand you fondle with it for a while, wanting to see how it feels more thoroughly. The texture of it was both rough yet smooth, the blood and meat still coating it making its texture even better. Whenever you would touch the flesh would make a small sludge and jiggling sound. The blood dripping off and onto the dirt-filled ground accompanying the air as well as the sounds of bones cracking from where Max was, making the experience even better. It sent a shiver through your spine. You relished in it.

You finally wrap your palm around the bone and let your hands slump down, instead turning your attention towards Max and Sam. "You know, when you two said "date" this wasn't the kind of date I was expecting." Max continues to repeatedly shred the body but his ear twitching up shows that he was listening. Sam on the other hand was giving all of his attention to you, not even looking back at the corpse. He looked a bit worried.

"What, a-are you not enjoying it?" Sam asks albeit anxiously. Max seems to momentarily stop before resuming again, this time going a bit quicker and a slight twitch from his grin showing. A look of shock immediately enters your face. You wave your hands frantically infront of you.

"What? No! It was just a bit unexpected. Well, now that I think about it, it's not that unexpected and more less expected but-"

"Were you expectin' some sort of classic boring ol' restaurant date? You know we stopped doing those when that cannibal restaurant downtown in the dark alley closed." Max's grin turned into a irritated expression while Sam looked anxious. But why? You sigh and take a deep breath. Just as you were about to speak Max interrupts you.

"Yeush, is it really that bad being with us? The only thing you do is work, work and work! We're getting- ugh yuck I hate saying this but-"

"We're starting to get worried (Y/N)." Sam interrupts Max. Max let's out a sigh of relief. "Thank you Sam." You quirked an eyebrow at the two, confused by they're statements.

Worried about you? Honestly you never knew the word "worried" and "we're" would ever come out of their mouths considering.. well, them. Yet here you were, hearing those words in an entire sentence.

You knew you worked a lot and was almost always exhausted after the day finished but it wasn't THAT bad.

...Wasn't it?

You sighed and simply shared eye contact with the two. Showing them some sort of attention in the means of them not completely ignoring you (or zoning out), Max was one example of this. "I'm sorry guys but killing is a hard job. You know, being an assassin and all that. If I don't give it my all I might mess the job up or worse get caught. You know how it is-"

"Then invite us to follow along sometime!" Max suggested, interrupting your sentence. You blinked and gave both him and Sam a deadpan. But you didn't open your mouth yet to speak, knowing very well whatever Max was going to say, he wasn't done yet. "You know how much I like violence! I wouldn't mind the blood and neither would Sam. We can even help and cheer you up so you don't get all tired and torn when you get home."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. "I know you do. But as much as I would appreciate the help you two aren't exactly the trustworthy type." The wind blew against your face getting harsher, but they didn't seem to notice it at all. Max seemed dead set on convincing you to loosen up and agree with him and Sam simply went along. He looked a bit agitated and disappointed at the bunny, probably because he wanted to take the more gentler, long approach. While Max just wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"Besides, I don't feel as if it's tiring to the point where it's unhealthy! I can still hang out and go out with you guys-" "We barely even got you here, (Y/N)." Sam interrupted, now also being more active in the conversation. Max continued Sam's sentence. "You literally whined to us and said you probably couldn't come." Your eyes widened and you tugged at yourself, averting your gaze from the two. They both had a weird look of determination.

You know for a bunch of dorks that barely seemed to waste time on affection or sappy stuff, they were awfully needy. But maybe they were right. You had found yourself spending less time with them and instead found yourself spending more time with your bed.

You cringed and your face quickly contorted into a look of defeat. You sighed and simply nodded, agreeing with their argument. Yet you still found yourself always admitting defeat quite oftenly when it came to them. Maybe it was because you were in love with them. That made you weak and bend over to your knees at any time to them.

Although this was far stray away from how you acted in sex. You were a lot more.. dominant then.

But this isn't the time to think about that, was it?

"Yeah, you guys are right." Immediately their eyes lit up. Sam one of relief and Max out of.. something else you couldn't quite piece together. "I should really take it more easy with my job." Max hopped and grabbed ahold of your hands, looking up to you in an instant.

"Does that mean we get to come to your job and watch a writhing living body tremble and churn while it slowly gets the life drained out of it?!" Max asked rather excitedly. His eyes had that usual glint of crazy. Meanwhile Sam chuckled and looked endeared by Max's excitement. You laughed and pressed a quick kiss on his mouth- err teeth. You then quickly booped him on his nose while laughing.

"Absolutely not, sweetheart." And just like that he quickly deflated, causing you to snicker at his overly dramatic reaction. You petted him softly and simply grinned at him.

"Of course you can pay me a visit at my job, honeybun."

Just as quickly as he had deflated did he sprung back to life. Sam seemed pretty excited too, his tail wagging from behind. You smiled and gestured him to come closer towards you. He happily obliged and rather excitedly came over to you. You shared the same kiss you had given Max towards Sam, except this time it wasn't on his teeth, but on his nose. He blushed and you blushed too, feeling the heat flush over your cheeks.

You turn back to the body and smirked. "Now I believe we were doing something, weren't we?" Almost instinctively they nodded and you giggled, turning back to the corpse.

Yeah, you wouldn't change a single thing for this.