Reverse Portal Au Because Yes

Reverse portal au because yes

Updated refs: Dipper Mabel Stan Ford

Ford’s “museum” is just the mystery shack with decent prices and less jokes

He has a stack of different ties and suits because we all know he likes to play dress up just like Mabel

Stan has a long list of nicknames and even longer list of strangers who want him dead (some things just never change)

The twins were forced hired the day they arrived to Grunkle Ford and they have gained a new hatred for formal wear

Hi! Do you know if there’s a rickford discord server out there? It’d be cool if there was one for discussing the ship but idk who else would join.

Oh. My. God.

I'm pretty sure there are ones, but I believe they've all died around 2016, so probably not now.

But...

You just gave me the best idea ever.

I'm going to do it-- I'll make a Rickford server!

And once I do, I'm going to @ everyone who I'd like to invite! Of course, anyone who wants to join who wouldn't be @'d in that post would be free to, as well.

Thank you for this idea, Anon!

I'll pin the post about it once I make the server.

I don't think Unity and Rick ever loved each other, I think they loved the idea of each other, Rick loved the idea of an escape, a hive mind that could do anything for him, they could give him all the drugs he could want, meanwhile Unity never loved Rick, they loved the idea of him, the idea of a single mind that saw the bigger picture, and to add on with that, while I disagree that Rick did nothing wrong in air force wong, I think he gets too much blame, Unity is partially to blame too, they ghosted Rick, then got mad when Rick ghosted them, and Rick was completely in the right to not answer Unity's calls, if someone broke up with you, you probably wouldn't answer their calls, and Unity hijacking a state to reach Rick was too big of a jump, Rick wasn't completely in the right in that episode, he was an asshole, but his reaction makes sense when you consider what Unity's break up did to him. It bothers me how they pin all the blame on Rick and act like Unity is a sweet little angel that did nothing wrong.

OBSESSED like foaming at the mouth at the thought that rick would realistically have a lot of scars from adventures

Rick Sanchez and Ford Pines boned

prove me wrong you can’t

Wrote about how Rick got Morty's picture in his wallet!

Tw for slight self harm under the cut!

I was sitting on the soft yet stiff couch, how could it be both? I don't fucking know, shit, I could run a whole experiment on the cheap fucking budget ass furniture Beth buys. I was surfing through channels on the TV, we have literally every fucking channel in the universe and nothing interesting was on. I rested my cheek on my hand. 

"Of fucking course there's nothing interesting to watch." My inner voice oh so kindly butted in "You really think you could do anything useful in your life? Don't make me laugh." I clenched my teeth so hard I swear I heard a crack. 

Then I heard the door creak open, my head immediately snapped to the direction on the door, and not too long after I saw Morty. Poor kid, he had massive eyebags, walking slowly. His usual dumb sunshine yellow shirt replaced with a white button down with a black bowtie. He looked so fucking fancy. He tilted his head back as he yawned. Rubbing his eyes with his fists afterwards. I held back a yawn. Not wanting that little shit to know I was staring at him

"This is because of you, you fucking piece of shit, you could let Morty have a goodnight sleep but noooooo. You need him for adventures, you fucking selfish piece of shit." 

I clenched my jeans. Hard. My knuckles white. Hands shaking. Morty saw me "Rick...are you o-" I answered before he got the full question "Yep." Morty looked at me for a bit, I hated the trust in his eyes. I hated the voice in my head reminding me how little I deserve it even more. I hated how fucking right it was sometimes.

"You don't deserve it. You don't deserve to have him trust you. You don't deserve to have him see you as his grandpa. You aren't even his grandpa."

...

Shit.

More like all the time. Morty then shrugged and began walking down the hall. I overheard him talking to Beth 

"H-hey Mom...it was picture day at school...I-I think the pictures were like...20 dollars?" I hated how my ears perked up at that. 

As Beth replied, I could basically hear the eyebrow raise in her voice "20 dollars for pictures? How many are there?" "I-It's 20 dollars per picture..." "Why are they so expensive?" Morty mumbled something I couldn't hear. Ugh, I hate when that brat does that.

"Wow, insulting him in your mind, great grandpa, really." I looked down, my unibrow furrowing. 

"You're such a piece of shit."

I fucking know that. Shut up. I rubbed my temples. Eyes shut tightly.

I felt a weight shift on the couch. I turned my head and saw Morty. "W-what are you watching?" "Noth-*burp*-ing." I grumbled. "So your school took some pictures?" Morty nodded "Y-yeah...I don't think I look good in them though..." Morty muttered, rubbing his arm. God I hated how innocent he looked like that..it only made me hate myself more. I was traumatizing this boy all because I was a selfish piece of shit.

My inner voice laughed, the bitter sound of it echoing in my head "Now you're getting it!" I groaned and Morty looked at me "Are you-" "I'm fine." I growled out, voice rougher than I intended. Morty looked down, his hands gripping the couch cusions. I hated the chruning in my stomach. "I gotta g-" Before I could get up, I felt a weight on my shoulder. I quickly glanced at it. Ugh, Morty. I sighed as I leaned back on the couch.

"Wow, went from being the smartest man in the universe into a teenager's pillow! Great upgrade..." Wow, I'm letting a kid sleep, I'm suchhhh an asshole. "Ugh, when did you get so weak? Caring about people...remember that Diane-" I clutched my stomach as I jolted forward. The mention of Diane hitting me like a punch to my stomach. I quickly got up, seeing the kid's head fall on the couch. I clenched my hands into fists.

Ugh, I shouldn't give a shit.

Morty's just a stupid little shit anyway.

I walked over to the kitchen, seeing something on the counters. It was a flyer, Beth probably left it here. She was pouring a glass of wine and her gaze fell on me. "Oh hey Dad, did you know Morty's school expects us to pay 20 dollars for one pictures of him?" She giggled. I snarled as memories of my original Beth's giggled echoed over and over again in my brain. Beth tilted her head "Dad...?" I shook my head, wanting the sound to fucking stop. "Are you-" She reached for me and I slapped her hand away without realizing it. 

Beth jolted back, eyes wide, burning through me. I hated the gasp that escaped my throat when I realized what I did. I ignored the sickening feeling in my gut as I grabbed the flyer and stormed to my garage. 

Fuck it.

Fuck everything.

Who the fuck cares?

Beth will be fine.

It's not my Beth anyway, why the fuck should I care?

"It's your fault Beth died anyway, all you did is stand there while she-" I tugged at my hair, hoping the voice would stop. I glanced over and saw the flyer. Morty was smiling like a fucking idiot. He looked so awkward. 

I hate it.

I hated the smile and laugh that escaped my lips.

Why the fuck did I react like that?

This is just a stupid kid.

I shouldn't even-

"It's because you're weak."

Ugh, fucking shut it already.

"Nope, can't have you forgetting how worthless you are."

Gee thanks, I love getting reminded of that every fucking second of everyday.

"You're welcome."

God that fucking voice was so smug.

"You know I'm right."

...

Goddamit.

It was right.

I looked at the top of the page, it was the school's number.

...

Ain't no fucking way I'm about to do this.

I took out my phone and reluctantly punched in the school's phone number, a girl with an annoyingly obviously fake honey-like voice answered the phone 

"Hi! This is Harry Herpson High School! My name is Lilly! How may I help you?" 

 I rolled my eyes. Hating what I was about to say.

"You hate everything except..."

Don't.

Don't fucking finish that sentence.

"I want to buy school pictures."

The chick replied quickly "Oh! Wonderful! Are you a parent or guardian?"

"I'm Rick...uh...Sanchez..." I blurted out, wanting to sink into the ground.

"Oh! So your Morty Smith's father?"

I flinched, father? The hell...

"Hah. Last time you were a father you-" 

I slapped myself. 

"Sir?"

"No. I'm his grandpa."

My inner voice cackled "Ohhh that's what you're calling yourself now? Not 'random guy that crashed into his house so you could kill his actual grandpa'? Guess that doesn't

roll of the tongue that well."

I stomped the ground, growling lowly in my throat.

"Okkkayy! Would you like to buy his pictures?"

Why do you fucking think I asked about them genius?

"Yes."

"Okay Mr. Sanchez! What background would you want?"

I shrugged "Just a grey one I gue-*burp*-ss."

The voice on the other end hummed happily "Ok! Would you like to buy with cash or credit?"

Oh yeah, I'm gonna waltz down to the school to buy the picture despite the fact I called you.

"Credit."

I heard clicking. "Ok! Please share you credit card details!"

I flipped my wallet and said my credit details.

"Alright! It should ship by tomorrow!" 

"Wow, paying 20 fucking dollars for a picture of a kid. How the fuck did you become so fucking soft?"

I gripped my phone so tight that, if I hadn't reinforced it 20 fucking times, it would've cracked. "Great." I answered through clenched teeth before hanging up the phone. I

groaned, throwing my head back.

I'm fucking weak.

I fucking hate myself sometimes.

"More like all the time." My inner voice commented casually, as if it's normal to have a voice in your head that always reminds you how you are a big piece of shit and should

just put a bullet in your brain already. "Not that you shouldn't."

Whatever.

Who the fuck cares?

The next day I checked the mailbox before anyone else. I opened up the envelope and saw the picture of Morty awkwardly smiling with one shoulder raised. I couldn't help the fond laugh that escaped. That fucking adorable idiot, I thought, rolling my eyes with a smile on my face. I folded it and put it in my wallet. 

"Wowwwww, actually acting like a grandpa, what? You think this will make up for killing his actual grandpa?"

Fuck my stupid life.