[2:16 PM] (TW: Panic Attack)
[2:16 PM] (TW: panic attack)
it happened completely unexpectedly.
the weather is lovely, and you managed to buy everything you wanted today. you weren’t bothered by the crowd of people who are also enjoying the warmth of summer, and you’d been laughing about something with jongho just moments before everything happened.
suddenly, someone had shouted. it was probably a petty argument, just two people bickering over trivial things, but the cause of it doesn’t matter because the sound alone made your anxiety spike and suddenly you’re spiraling.
jongho continues talking about whatever you had been discussing, but he stops when he realises something is wrong.
you look around at the people walking past, and you’re hyperaware of every little noise and movement. everything is so loud and you feel like you can’t even hear your own thoughts, but the pounding of your heart is somehow drowning it all out anyway.
you don’t hear jongho calling your name, but when he moves next to you and waves a hand in front of your face, still confused by what’s happening, you suddenly reach for it.
“jongho,” you mumble, trying your keep your voice from cracking, “I just- I can’t do this right now. I can’t do anything right now, I can’t-”
“woah, hey, it’s okay,” he cuts you off, gently placing his other hand on your shoulder.
holding one of his hands tight with both of yours, you stare at him with wide, scared eyes, and a concerned frown finds its way to his face. looking around at your surroundings, he bites his lip as he tries to think of what to do.
“let’s go somewhere else, okay?” he suggests, and when you nod, he takes your hand and leads you away from the crowded area.
once you’re somewhere much quieter, he finds a spot for you to sit. taking a seat, you wring your shaky hands as if trying to physically rid your body of the anxiety. you stare at the ground, trying to regulate your breathing and count down from 10 slowly, but it feels like you have no control over your lungs.
choked sobs escape you as tears stream down your face, and you feel guilty and regretful despite it being out of your control. jongho kneels in front of you and asks you to look at him, so you do. he holds out a hand and you place your hand in his.
“you’re alright, okay? you’re safe, and you’re going to be absolutely fine. I promise.”
you nod, and though you’re still anxious and shaky, his words do help you calm down. he repeats affirmations over and over, looking right at you and watching your expression for any sign of discomfort because he really wants to help but if you need space, he’s going to give you that.
“is it okay if I sit down next to you?” he asks after a few minutes pass, and you nod with a weak smile.
the warmth of his body beside you helps keep you grounded, and you rest your head against his shoulder. your heart is still racing and your cheeks burn from crying, but you feel like you can finally breathe.
he doesn’t speak, he just wraps an arm around you and lets you calm down. more time passes, and you finally decide to say something.
“jongho, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the day or anything, I’m really so sorry,” you apologise, unable to look him in the eye.
he turns to you and places both his hands on your shoulders, expression both serious and kind. shaking his head, he says, “don’t ever apologize for something like this, Y/N. you’ve done nothing wrong, there’s no reason to be sorry and you didn’t ruin the day. okay?”
you just nod because you’re sure you’ll start crying again if you try to speak. he pulls you into a hug and you let yourself relax into the comfort of his embrace.
at the end of the day, even if things don't always go well, at least you know that jongho will always be by your side to help you up when you fall down.
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