Atz Timestamp - Tumblr Posts
[7:11 PM]
you can’t help but stare with starry eyes at the scene before you. hongjoong sits in front of his piano, face shining bright with a closed-eye smile as the familiar tune of aurora echoes around the room. the blinds let in the light from outside, a gentle golden glow that fits the mood perfectly.
he sings along and you join him, feeling the emotion and effort he poured into this song and relishing in the moment together.
maybe the typical idea of a birthday celebration is a party, or some sort of social event. usually, you'd invite some friends or your family and there'd be presents and cake.
hongjoong, however, prefers to celebrate in a different way - he likes to spend the day alone with you and enjoy the soft, quiet moments of life together where no one else is looking in and observing. the chance to let himself appreciate simplicity and express his thoughts and feelings without filtering it for the sake of anyone else is rare.
that's why you're together right now, surrounded by music and the warmth of songs written with love, and although neither one of you is speaking directly to the other, you can still feel the meaning behind his lyrics when he turns to you and smiles.
when he looks down at the keys again, you find that you still can't look away from him. his profile is gorgeous, but it's everything you can see swirling behind his pretty brown eyes that really captures your attention.
it's the way they light up when he looks at you, and that passion you see when he's working in his studio regardless of the time, and the kind, warm glow he radiates whenever he's with the people he loves.
he's just so wonderful, it's almost unfair to your poor heart. it seems crazy that you were blessed with the opportunity to meet someone as wonderful as him and fall helplessly in love.
as the song ends and he turns back to face you again, you realise that the craziest part by far is the way he returns your love with an equal amount of dedication.
the room remains silent, but that's because you both know you're thinking the same three words.
"I love you."
[6:35 PM]
“mingi, I’m really not that sick, it’s just a cold,” you croak out before another coughing fit starts and you’re writhing around in mild pain. you try to play it off like it’s nothing, but your subtle wheezing lets him know how you really feel.
mingi frowns at you from the doorway, shaking his head at your desperate attempts to convince him you’re fine.
it’s your anniversary today, and of course your cheesy (but absolutely precious and sweet) boyfriend planned a romantic night together where you’d go to a fancy restaurant and eat overpriced, tiny morsels of food while sipping even more expensive wine. it makes you both feel like young, rich CEOs for a night and it’s so lovely to just relax and talk for hours without responsibilities or interruptions.
unfortunately, the aforementioned interruptions arrived before the date did. you’re stuck in bed with the most painful sore throat of your entire life, your voice is almost gone and you cannot stop coughing. for a good minute, before he arrived to watch over you, you were pretty certain this would be the end (when you told him that, he called you dramatic but asked what your desired funeral plans were nonetheless).
mingi leaves for a moment to grab you another bottle of water and a throat lozenge and places them on your bedside table, taking a seat at your desk as your designated caregiver for the evening. he leans over to push your hair out of your face, and you can’t help but pout at him.
“don’t worry about it, muffin. you need to rest and I’m here to take care of you, okay?” he reassures you, smiling sweetly. you try to smile back, but you feel so guilty for ruining the night, even if it was something out of your control.
“but...you planned everything, mingi,” you say, bottom lip trembling a little as your eyes prick with tears, “and you were so excited about it.”
he shakes his head, gently cupping your face with his hand. leaning forward, he presses a kiss to your forehead. your hand finds his free one and you lace your fingers together, watching him silently for a few sweet moments.
"your health comes first." he smiles again. "besides, we're spending time together right now, no? who cares if we don't stick to the original plan, I'm still here with you and I couldn't be happier."
you want to add to the conversation but another coughing fit stops you when you try.
"well, maybe I'd be slightly happier if you weren't dying in my arms," he jokes and you smack him lightly.
it's still upsetting that you were unable to go out together, but you realise he's right. the whole point of an anniversary celebration is to spend time with the person you love, and even though you're falling asleep and your throat is kind of burning, mingi is still by your side tonight.
he pulls your blanket over you, tucking you in as you finally let your heavy eyelids close.
"happy anniversary, muffin," he whispers once you're asleep, "I love you."
[10:02 PM]
the rain feels icy against your skin, but it only serves to amplify the warmth of yunho’s hand against your waist. his other hand is holding yours, raised as you twirl and sway together.
there’s no music playing, but you don’t need it; you simply dance to the sound of the water falling to the ground and your own laughter as it fills the air.
“you look stunning, angel, even with your clothes soaked through,” yunho says, his cheeks flushed from the cold rain, “actually, especially like this.”
you giggle as he pulls you towards him, back pressed against the wet button up he’s wearing, and he kisses the top of your head before you move away again.
the moon casts a silver glow over the two of you as you dance in the light, and the droplets of water sitting on yunho’s pretty lashes give his eyes an ethereal sparkle. he looks positively magical, and his bright smile only seems to confirm that theory because suddenly, it feels like you’ve got a thousand butterflies in your stomach.
“yunho,” you call, and when he looks you in the eye, you smile back, “I think I love you. no, I know I do. I know I love you.”
though it became increasingly more obvious each day, you’d never said those three words to each other prior.
yunho’s eyes widen and he pauses for a moment, just standing there in the rain, but his hands still hold your waist and hand. he steps towards you and you let him close the distance between your lips, eyes slipping shut.
the only sounds you can hear are the rain falling and your heart pounding, and even with the cold water weighing down your clothes, you feel warmer than ever.
“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispers against your lips.
you swear you see tears in his eyes when he pulls away, but maybe it’s just the rain.
you know it’s tears, though, because you feel them pricking your eyes too as he twirls you around once more.
[2:16 PM] (TW: panic attack)
it happened completely unexpectedly.
the weather is lovely, and you managed to buy everything you wanted today. you weren’t bothered by the crowd of people who are also enjoying the warmth of summer, and you’d been laughing about something with jongho just moments before everything happened.
suddenly, someone had shouted. it was probably a petty argument, just two people bickering over trivial things, but the cause of it doesn’t matter because the sound alone made your anxiety spike and suddenly you’re spiraling.
jongho continues talking about whatever you had been discussing, but he stops when he realises something is wrong.
you look around at the people walking past, and you’re hyperaware of every little noise and movement. everything is so loud and you feel like you can’t even hear your own thoughts, but the pounding of your heart is somehow drowning it all out anyway.
you don’t hear jongho calling your name, but when he moves next to you and waves a hand in front of your face, still confused by what’s happening, you suddenly reach for it.
“jongho,” you mumble, trying your keep your voice from cracking, “I just- I can’t do this right now. I can’t do anything right now, I can’t-”
“woah, hey, it’s okay,” he cuts you off, gently placing his other hand on your shoulder.
holding one of his hands tight with both of yours, you stare at him with wide, scared eyes, and a concerned frown finds its way to his face. looking around at your surroundings, he bites his lip as he tries to think of what to do.
“let’s go somewhere else, okay?” he suggests, and when you nod, he takes your hand and leads you away from the crowded area.
once you’re somewhere much quieter, he finds a spot for you to sit. taking a seat, you wring your shaky hands as if trying to physically rid your body of the anxiety. you stare at the ground, trying to regulate your breathing and count down from 10 slowly, but it feels like you have no control over your lungs.
choked sobs escape you as tears stream down your face, and you feel guilty and regretful despite it being out of your control. jongho kneels in front of you and asks you to look at him, so you do. he holds out a hand and you place your hand in his.
“you’re alright, okay? you’re safe, and you’re going to be absolutely fine. I promise.”
you nod, and though you’re still anxious and shaky, his words do help you calm down. he repeats affirmations over and over, looking right at you and watching your expression for any sign of discomfort because he really wants to help but if you need space, he’s going to give you that.
“is it okay if I sit down next to you?” he asks after a few minutes pass, and you nod with a weak smile.
the warmth of his body beside you helps keep you grounded, and you rest your head against his shoulder. your heart is still racing and your cheeks burn from crying, but you feel like you can finally breathe.
he doesn’t speak, he just wraps an arm around you and lets you calm down. more time passes, and you finally decide to say something.
“jongho, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the day or anything, I’m really so sorry,” you apologise, unable to look him in the eye.
he turns to you and places both his hands on your shoulders, expression both serious and kind. shaking his head, he says, “don’t ever apologize for something like this, Y/N. you’ve done nothing wrong, there’s no reason to be sorry and you didn’t ruin the day. okay?”
you just nod because you’re sure you’ll start crying again if you try to speak. he pulls you into a hug and you let yourself relax into the comfort of his embrace.
at the end of the day, even if things don't always go well, at least you know that jongho will always be by your side to help you up when you fall down.