Beau Look At Me Look At Mei Have An Angsty Idea For You

beau look at me look at me…i have an angsty idea for you…

genshin character x reader who is terminally ill with elezar (however you spell it-) and they’re in a toxic relationship with character and a song to go with it is two by the antlers (semi tw for the song some of the lyrics cover dark topics)

“His trickiest patient

with Baizhu”

AU where Elezar isn’t cured

“I told you, dear, you need to be more cautious when holding fragile objects,” he gently chided as he swept up the broken glass from a bottle.

He wasn’t upset at you. He could never be. But he knew you were, as always. Before you’d been diagnosed, you were such a kind soul, but with each failed treatment and medication refill, you’d grown resentful.

Neither of you were certain how the illness occurred. After all, you’d been born and raised in Liyue, where the possibility of it was slim to none. Maybe you were just that unfortunate.

“I’ll die anyway, so why does it matter?” His movements came to a halt. He looked up at you while you looked up at the ceiling. The soft lights, covered by a thin cloth to ensure it wasn’t too harsh on your eyes. “Why does it matter,” you softly repeated.

“I won’t let that—,” you interrupted his weak attempt at comfort, sitting up with a struggle. Swatting away his attempts at helping you after dropping his broom

“Baizhu, give up already! The meds aren’t doing anything, and I’m getting worse! So just quit with your silly delusions!”

His lips formed a thin line, unsure of how to approach it. You were not wrong. You never were when you yelled at him, with your shortening temper.

“You’re destroying yourself all while trying to fix me. I’d rather you just put me out of my misery.”

His heart sank terribly low. So much that he had to turn away from you. He could not face you when you brought this up. The idea of letting you die, or to do it himself. It never fot any easier to hear.

This sickness has made your body and heart bitter. In ways he cannot comprehend. Oh, how he despises it.

I adore angst, and this ask was so interesting to me. Thank you for sharing <3

DENDRO

☘️ BAIZHU

there was no saving you

☘️ KAVEH

never wait for the morning

just for the weekend

☘️ ALHAITHAM

treat you better

just for the weekend

i wrote half of a yan aven fic and immediately scrapped it

yan genshin girls fic coming soon !!

ᯓ✿ but you’re not mine

ˋ°•*⁀➷ ei and miko (separately) falling for you while you’re dating the other

ˋ°•*⁀➷ raiden ei, yae miko x gn! reader (separate)

₊˚ angst!! unrequited love, no poly eimiko in this one that’ll be a different fic

the electro archon’s knowledge that you were dating her best friend and the only person who truly understood her would destroy her from the inside out. though her puppet gave a look of indifference, the deity residing within said puppet was anything but. if she could even begin to live up to her citizens’ expectations of her, then would you love her the way you loved the kitsune? ei knew she shouldn’t be so jealous of her only true friend, but she would give the whole world to be the one holding your hand, kissing you, taking you on dates, sharing her snacks with you. having you be just out of her reach was somehow astronomically more painful than the idea of never having met you at all.

the goddess of electro’s love for you was similar to the ideal she ruled over, eternal. the day she finally worked up the courage to confess to you despite your feelings for someone else, a thunderstorm raged outside to signal her inner turmoil. in her artificial throat remained the words she had wished to say to you, but went silent the second they tried to leave her mouth. a love language of averted eyes and avoidance had become the status quo between you and ei, rather unfortunately. if she could tell you how she felt, would you truly understand the weight of the words and what they meant?

for the sake of conversation, could she read your body language? it’s ultimately the best she’d ever get when it comes to you, so it’s best for ei to simply let go and watch you drift away from her. as painful as it would be, it would be for the best. her feelings for you would never truly fade as time went by, the sting of her unrequited love seemed to only grow. loving you from the sidelines had become ei’s unfortunate fate, always making herself cry when she thought about it at the wrong times. she would love you endlessly for the rest of her time living, just say it’s over and let her turn off her feelings and retreat back into her meditation.

in her own time, ei would stop taking control of her puppet so often when you were around. those sparkling purple eyes were replaced with something lifeless and pained indifference towards you.

to embrace someone’s drifting heart and force herself to smile would always be difficult to the kitsune. hiding her love for you behind a flirty and caring mask, how long would it be before she cracked and forced herself to simply say she loved you despite your dating the electro archon. she knew she wasn’t much more than a subordinate of said archon and the holder of the gnosis, but that love for you refused to go away. miko often found herself forcing the feelings down just before she said something that would even hint ever so slightly at her love for you. with that heart of hers that seemed on the verge of just breaking from the sting of seeing you with ei, avoidance was the best she could do. the day she met you, she became dizzy and frozen and simply held her breath before she said something that would ultimately embarrass her.

oh how miko wished it was her, why were you even with ei when the guuji-sama was right there? she was a better match for you than the electro archon anyway, that much was obvious. even then, it was just a useless fantasy she couldn’t help but hold onto out of a pained desperation that you would be hers one day. she could treat you so much better than a puppet whose master was barely ever present anyway, right? every night, miko is the one you’d be talking to you until you fall asleep, shopping with you and buying your favorite foods just to see that beautiful smile grace your adorable face again. as long as you were happy, she supposed she could find a way to move one eventually. your happiness and satisfaction were always exponentially more important in the eyes of the kitsune. sure, it would be nice if you could just love someone who was more than willing to sweep you off your feet with her naturally flirty personality. alas, it just wasn’t the right time. you clearly loved ei, so there was just nothing she could do.

watching helplessly from the side as you seemed to love ei more and more as the days went by, that was the life miko was relegated to. how could she truly grow to adore the world around her when it all seemed to remind her of you? the least she could do in this situation is bottle up those overly convoluted feelings that no one ever truly wants and try to forget about them. when you looked at her, what was it behind your eyes that you longed to see within her? her poor heart simply shattered when she found out you were with her best friend when she had loved you for so much longer. such is retribution for falling so helplessly in love with you. why couldn’t she just tell the truth so you didn’t have to lie?

the things she would give to be able to hold you close, have you fall into her the way you did in her best dreams. she knew deep down that in the end, it would never be her turn. maybe one day she’d at least be able to express those feelings.