From Now On I Am Only Accepting Sexts In Dr. Seuss Rhyme Form

From now on I am only accepting sexts in Dr. Seuss rhyme form

otp prompt: i was robbing the place when you walked into the room and caught me red-handed. except. you didnt call the cops and just stared at me straight in the eyes and handed me an ugly as fuck statue and told to “please take this so i never have to see its ugly ass face anymore my gran wont get rid of it” and left the room to go back to sleep. i may have robbed your house but i think you stole my heart.

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

au ideas

“you’re my roommate and the only one on campus who isn’t planning on going home for christmas bc you have family troubles but my mom wouldn’t mind if u stayed with us for christmas so u won’t be alone” au

“i only realized i was in love with u after u died and like 3 yrs later u come back as a fuckin angel or some shit and oh god you’re even cuter than i remember and i missed you like hell pls marry me” au

“i’m paranoid as hell and i think my house is haunted so i called over a paranormal investigator and oh no you’re really hot?? also it looks like my house really is haunted and its serious so i guess we’re gonna have to spend more time together until we figure out how to deal with this” au

“we live together and you have to film something for a project and the subject ur assigned is horror so u drag me to a haunted forest bc you want ur film to be THE BEST but it turns out there really is something lurking in the forest and we’re both terrified as hell and can’t find our way out” au

“i woke up in our dorm room in the dead of the night and u weren’t there and when u didn’t come back i got super worried so i wandered around campus until i found u shivering in the bleachers, and u looked really upset so i gave u my jacket and stayed out there with u for an hour until u finally told me what was wrong” au

“i have an awful fear of fireworks so on the fourth of july we stay in our dorm room while u strum ur guitar and try everything u can to calm me down” au

“you’re having a nightmare and i feel bad because you’re trembling and crying so i crawl into bed with u and hold u so u feel safe, but in the morning u wake up with my arms wrapped around u you’re really confused and embarrassed” au

“i’m a siren and you’re a pirate but i decide not to kill u because you’re actually really really REALLY cute oh shit” au

“you’re blind and at the airport and you’re really stressed out, hey it turns out we have the same flight, how about u just hold my hand and i can be your eyes, mostly because i feel bad but also because you’re super cute” au

“u walked in on me while i was playing a horror game and i screamed out of sheer terror bc i thought u were a monster coming to steal my soul and now ur laughing and i would be mad but your laugh is really, really cute” au

“you kissed me in an attempt to steal my wallet but i know all the tricks haha sucks for u, let’s get coffee sometime and i can teach you some goddamn manners” au

“i have to kiss u for spin the bottle/truth or dare and it turns out you’re an amazing kisser and now i’m hella attracted to u, wanna get dinner sometime? maybe make out a bit?” au

“you’re a lesser-known artist and i’m hanging out at a small art studio in the city and you catch me staring in awe at your work” au

“you’re my patient and i’m trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you but it’s hard to do that when you’re flirting with me, seriously dude i’m not gonna be able to diagnose you as easily when you’re telling me how my labcoat complements my eyes jfc” au

“you caught some guy trying to drug my drink at the bar so u punched him and now we’re at my place where i’m cleaning the blood off your face and endlessly thanking you” au

“we’re stuck in a convenience store because there’s a huge-ass storm and you’re freaking the fuck out because you’re terrified so i guess since i’m your best friend i’ll just sit with you in this aisle and sing to you to try and calm you down” au

“i literally took a bullet for you and now you owe me big time” au

“we’re at a mutual friend’s wedding on a ferry so after the initial wedding we’re stuck at the afterparty until we get back to shore, and since we both despise huge crowds we just sorta hang around each other and one thing leads to another and we wake up in the same bed” au

When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either.