Kusa Is Killing Me Rn

Kusa is killing me rn

Hak clinging to hope about Soo won this ch just ruined me because this whole arc, it was the same for Soo won too.

It was not guilt, but ultimately hope that undid him. You could see him cracking, tangibly feel the desperate hope seeping in, while he himself was completely unconscious and unaware of it.

It starts when his guard was already down from his illness, from facing the war he feared and dreamed of the most, from seeing Hak everywhere, from Yona forcing him to face her and his complicated feelings about hiryuu

He was screaming

but she goes on

Reminding him exactly of everything he wants shut out and away.

It gets to him, the wall starts to crack.

Then he hears Hak is willing to help him after everything

And it starts to seep in, something else besides guilt, something like hope.

Then Hak goes missing, and amid his fear and anxiousness, he sees Yona crying desperately

The cracks are bigger and bigger, until the seal literally breaks

and his heart is on the surface, bare and vulnerable.

It all built up to him genuinely losing his walls and lowering his guard to the point that when Yona told him she would help

He actually allowed himself to hope, just briefly, just slightly, hope that maybe her willingness to help after everything he has done means that something, anything, could be undone.

But no

She is leaving

She and Hak will never be by his side after all

He knows it.

He knows, and yet

You bring her with you. Yes, you should have known better. You who genuinely believes the dragons are not needed, who believes Yona is influenced by her father, you of all people should have known better, so why did you? what do you want and expect? to be justified, understood, or forgiven? 

You who should have easily picked on her reasons for helping you, should have known it was to keep a politically unified front

Yet you make it personal, because the hope you have been feverishly resisting is all what you can see now.

So tell me, you who were uncontrollably and desperately hoping for the smallest things now, tell me

How does it feel?

YES OMG! I love nyra and support her but by god did she make some stupid decisions. I won’t repeat what you said but... leaving to Dragonstone and not keeping check of your powerful enemies, even though they are clearly out for your throne and have a valid claim to it? Killing everyone who disagrees with you publicly, further creating reasons, for others to critic and question your claim?

I love Rhaenyra and I am team black all the way, but goddamn did our Queen make some incredibly stupid decisions.

Having kids with a man that looks nothing like your husband? Dumb. Fuck Harwin if you want, but take your moon tea and get a male whore that looks like Laenor to impregnate you for heirs. It can’t be that hard to find one.

Alienating your half siblings when you know their grandfather wants to steal your throne? Dumb. Like fuck’s sake, Nyra. You could have completely wiped out any possibility of the Dance by just being a good sister to Aegon, Aemond, and Helaena. If they loved you, and didn’t think you’d murder them, they wouldn’t go along with Otto stealing your throne.

Marrying Daemon 3 microseconds after your respective spouses supposedly die horrible deaths? AND not telling Rhaenys and Corlys their son is alive? Dumb squared. Like I get it, you wanna marry Daemon. There are better ways to do it that don’t implicate you in murder and piss off some of your most powerful allies. Maybe you wait a year and then Laenor goes on a sail and his ship “sinks” but in reality he ran off to Essos with his lover and left a Ye Olde P.O. Box address for his parents to secretly stay in touch with their son. Then after an appropriate mourning period, Daemyra get hitched. Everyone gets what they want, nobody looks guilty of murder.

I will never get over them 

Do you like childhood best friends to lovers because "you've been a part of my world for as long as I can remember and I literally cannot imagine a life with you, and I don't want to, because I chose you when we were younger, I'll chose you now and forever, because it's you, it's always been you and I want it to be you forever" or are you normal?

I find it so funny when people act like Nanami is a paragon of responsibility and maturity with the Jujutsu kids while Gojo is just a manchild that likes to get in trouble. Because when Gojo took Yuji to watch his techniques in a "field trip", he told him not to fight, stood by his side the whole time, and protected him, while explaining his lessons.

Meanwhile Nanami

This is so pretty omg

I loved a maid as fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair

I loved a maid as red as autumn, with sunset in her hair

I loved a maid as white as winter, with moonglow in her hair

I fucking hate it here

Dazai, to Chuuya: I left knowing you’d hate me for leaving; but Chuuya, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I’d had your full attention.