Idiots In Pain - Tumblr Posts
Kusa is killing me rn
Hak clinging to hope about Soo won this ch just ruined me because this whole arc, it was the same for Soo won too.
It was not guilt, but ultimately hope that undid him. You could see him cracking, tangibly feel the desperate hope seeping in, while he himself was completely unconscious and unaware of it.
It starts when his guard was already down from his illness, from facing the war he feared and dreamed of the most, from seeing Hak everywhere, from Yona forcing him to face her and his complicated feelings about hiryuu
He was screaming
but she goes on
Reminding him exactly of everything he wants shut out and away.
It gets to him, the wall starts to crack.
Then he hears Hak is willing to help him after everything
And it starts to seep in, something else besides guilt, something like hope.
Then Hak goes missing, and amid his fear and anxiousness, he sees Yona crying desperately
The cracks are bigger and bigger, until the seal literally breaks
and his heart is on the surface, bare and vulnerable.
It all built up to him genuinely losing his walls and lowering his guard to the point that when Yona told him she would help
He actually allowed himself to hope, just briefly, just slightly, hope that maybe her willingness to help after everything he has done means that something, anything, could be undone.
But no
She is leaving
She and Hak will never be by his side after all
He knows it.
He knows, and yet
You bring her with you. Yes, you should have known better. You who genuinely believes the dragons are not needed, who believes Yona is influenced by her father, you of all people should have known better, so why did you? what do you want and expect? to be justified, understood, or forgiven?
You who should have easily picked on her reasons for helping you, should have known it was to keep a politically unified front
Yet you make it personal, because the hope you have been feverishly resisting is all what you can see now.
So tell me, you who were uncontrollably and desperately hoping for the smallest things now, tell me
How does it feel?