Seradiary - M

<3

anyone have any horror movie suggestions

misunderstanding

pairing :: jenn x youngjae

word count :: 1.2k

synopsis :: jenn sees reports of youngjae being in a relationship

time :: june 26, 2022

warnings :: angst, fluff if you squint

a/n :: had this idea FOREVERRR but just now getting around to writing it

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @fromfreesia @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @alixnsuperstxr @hybesunstone @allthings-fandoms @itzynabi @choihaneul @strmiu @Kaitieskidmore1 @evaalopezzzz

She was confused. Shocked. Surprised to see that it wasn’t her name plastered on the news outlets. She may have even felt a little bit of relief if it had been her. Now, she is just numb. Hurt even. It is so laughable.

It didn’t even make sense to her. She’s never had to experience this in a relationship before, so how was she supposed to act? Nothing good would come out of this if her mind wandered, but she couldn’t help it. Couldn’t stop it. It had to be some misunderstanding. A lie. She wouldn’t accept anything less.

Jenn doesn’t even acknowledge her legs shaking intensely, nipping at her fingernails in a random meeting room in their company. The blinds are shut tightly and her chair squeaks with the movement of her legs. She’s rehearsing her words again and all of the anxiety that comes with it.

She had just gotten home from her morning run, finishing up her shower and getting dressed when her phone pinged multiple times. It was from the members' group chat with each other. She opened it, happy to see everyone being active. That was until she saw the article BamBam had sent and was pestering Youngjae about. She read it and her heart sank knowing that the members would find out about their relationship this way. They had only told a few select people. Then she could feel her brain begin to melt, thinking of all the ways the media would try to tear him apart. Degrade her. There was still enough time for her to truly comprehend the title before collapsing. It was not her name. It was not her name next to his. It was not her picture next to his. It wasn’t Jenn, but another woman.

She was never one to act irrationally, but her fingers were steps ahead of her before she could think clearly. She had sent Youngjae the article, asking him what the hell it was, what it was about. She asked him to meet up with her as soon as possible. He read her message, no reply. She assumed he was in agreement with her.

This is fake. He wouldn’t do that, it’s not in his nature. He said he loves me. Jenn wondered if she had been careless enough to let this get past her. Did it say they’ve been dating for a year? She hits herself in the head with her fist, cursing herself for even considering that Youngjae could ever cheat on her.

She hears the door knob turn, snapping her neck in its direction, standing to her feet and seeing Youngjae slip into the meeting room. He shuts the door behind him, locking it.

“Jenn…” He immediately notices the shock on her face and holds out his hands for her.

“I just need to know… just tell me it’s not true.” Her voice trembles with her hands clasped together.

“It’s not true. I don’t even know who got the idea or–“ He realizes the more he talks, it only makes her more fearful. “It’s just a groundless rumor.”

Youngjae grabs for her hands, holding them in his and noticing how shakey they are. “I promise, Jenn. It’s not real.”

She can’t meet his eyes, staring down at their hands. “I…I don’t care who you’ve dated in the past, just as long as it wasn’t when you were with me.”

He stiffens. “Do you think I’d intentionally hurt you like that?”

The coldness in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed. She holds her head high, finally meeting his gaze. “No! I don’t know–I just–I’ve been the center of articles like that before and they’re not always wrong. I don’t know what to think. That’s why I wanna hear it from you.”

Tears have pooled in her eyes now, close to tipping over. Jenn is scared that he thinks she might not trust him. She pulls away from him, stepping back and turning in the other direction. She’s picking at her lip with her fingers, hugging herself with her other arm. The tears make their way down her face, making sure he doesn’t see her cry more than he already has. Not over him.

Youngjae exhales loudly, running a hand through his hair and collecting his thoughts and keeping his frustrations under wraps. He makes his way behind her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

Jenn’s bottom lip wobbles and she has to stop breathing to ensure he doesn’t see her falling apart.

“Jenn, it’s not true. I'm gonna make sure it’s clear that we’ve never been associated in that manner. We’ve never dated, we simply have just worked on music together. I promise you that.” He dips his head in between her shoulder, pressing his lips to the patch of skin exposed from her sweater.

He turns her body around to face him, trying to make eye contact with her. He tips her chin up with his fingers to see her pained expression, tears staining her flushed cheeks. It cuts him deep. She tries to look away, turning her head in every direction away from him until he finally cups her face in his hands. “Jenn.”

She grabs onto his wrists, eyes still closed because she can’t bear to see the disappointment on his face. His disappointment in her.

“Hey, look at me.” His thumb swipes tears away and he waits for her to open her eyes. Seconds pass until she opens them, the whites of her eyes red and her lips trembling. “The person I’m dating is you. The person I love is you. No one else.”

She squeezes his wrists, a sob finally escaping her. She leans forward, her forehead pressing into his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be–“

“No, no, I’m so sorry! I’m just scared. It feels a thousand times worse to see another girl's name next to yours and not mine. It would’ve been okay if it was mine. I could have handled it. But someone else…”

“Do you trust me?” He lowers his head, his eyes trying to communicate with her if his words aren’t enough.

“Yes. I do,” She squeezes his wrists, nodding her head between his hands. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you.” He straightens his spine, leaning in to kiss her forehead and engulfing her in his arms. “People like us are just victims of false accusations like this. I’m sorry it had to be me.”

Jenn sobs once he says the last few words. Like it’s something he could have prevented. “It’s not your fault. Why did they have to pick on you?” Her words are muffled against his hoodie, hands squeezing the fabric.

He chuckles softly. “I guess I’m just an easy target. I’d rather it be me than you.”

She shakes her head, huffing at his humor. Not helping. She steps back, still holding onto his waist and collecting herself through sniffles. She lets go of him to wipe her eyes with her sleeves. “I’m sorry I reacted this way. I can’t stand there being a barrier between us, so please just talk to me when stuff like this happens.”

Youngjae pats her on the head a few times before brushing his fingers through her hair. He doesn’t know what else to say but that he’s sorry. So he pouts, nodding his head and whispering against her forehead. “I love you, Jenn. My only one.”

“I love you too.”

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SUBLIME_Jenn

젠(Jenn) ‘Transcending’ Highlight Medley

젠(Jenn) 5th Mini Album 'Transcending’ 23.01.09 18:00 (KST)

Could I just say something real quick? 

It’s all coming. Whatever you’re starving for, whatever that ache is that stings your bones, it’s coming. The love, the happiness, the adventures, and the creativity that you are seeking, it is all coming for you. Here’s the thing, don’t let your right now get away. The things you find mundane, keep them. Store them in the pocket of your favorite coat like found pennies. They aren’t futile. Do not let them cause you to feel empty and hollow. They are going to be worthwhile. Keep the hunger for what is coming, but please, keep a tight grip on these little ordinary moments that are happening right now, because they – these tiny pieces of this ordinary affair you find yourself in – are the foundation to your extraordinary. And I promise you, if you begin to recognize your right now, you’ll see your extraordinary coming.  

happy with you

masterlist | chanliet files

date: july 2022

word count: 0.9k

warning(s) / includes: seojun yet again bc he’s still a toxic jerk (context), arguing (not between chanliet), swearing, kissing (please lmk if i missed anything!)

Perhaps Chan was right to insist on waiting right outside her dressing room before she gently shoved him away, reassuring him she’d be okay and that he should look around for clothes he liked as well, because she’s never struggled with putting on a dress so badly in her life.

The button closures on the back look gorgeous and the dress really wouldn’t be the same without them, but she’s this close to assembling a group of engineers to figure this out.

As she pulls her phone out of her bag to text Chan for help, a heated conversation between a couple happening nearby draws her attention.

“Did that girl just ask for your number?”

“Will you stop overreacting? Am I not allowed to have female friends now?”

Juliet’s body tenses at the all too familiar voice. It’s been more than three years since everything happened, but some nights—when she happens to be in a more vulnerable state—that same voice haunts her dreams and has her eyes snapping open with panic.

“Cut the bullshit, she’s clearly not trying to be ‘friends’ and you know it, but you just let it happen time and time again!”

“Can you stop making a scene? People are staring!” the male voice hisses.

“Then can you start setting some boundaries because you have a girlfriend?”

“You’re so fucking dramatic. Whenever I take you out on a nice date, you keep finding ways to ruin the night.” His words act like a time machine, instantly transporting her mind back to the past.

God, Dahee was right: You’re so fucking dramatic. Just go, Minyoung-ah. You’re making a scene and I need to memorise this choreo by 11. We’re over, so leave me alone.

There’s not a sliver of doubt in her mind now—it’s him, it has to be, and it’s infuriating to see he’s still the horrible person he was when he ruthlessly broke her heart and left her questioning everything that spring night.

Seething, Juliet stuffs her phone back into her bag, ready to burst out of her dressing room to give Kim Seojun a piece of her mind. As she reaches for the door handle, a gentle knock stops her in her tracks.

“Minnie, is everything okay in there?” Shoulders slumping in relief, she immediately opens the door to reveal Chan’s smiling face. The sight of her loving boyfriend floods her every cell with warmth, and for a moment the whole world melts away, insignificant compared to him.

“Wow,” he breathes out, eyes wide with awe as he guides her to take several steps forward to get a better look, “you look beautiful, angel. This dress looks incredible on you.”

Heat rushes to her cheeks and tints them a rosy shade of pink. “Thank you, I think I’ll need some help with the back though.”

Playfully, he shakes his head in mock disapproval. “See? I told you you might need my help!”

“I didn’t know this dress was designed by rocket scientists!”

Suddenly realising the other couple had abruptly gone silent, her eyes drift over Chan’s shoulder to find Seojun already staring at her, his expression unreadable. Chan, sensing the switch in her demeanour, turns to look in the same direction, his smile dropping in a split second when he realises that his suspicions were right. He knew the man looked familiar when he came into the dressing area—it’s Kim Seojun.

The atmosphere is uncomfortable as the two couples remain silent and unmoving, no one knowing what to do. Finally, Seojun’s girlfriend scoffs, casting a venomous glare at him before turning on her heel and storming out of the room.

Instead of chasing after her, he remains, and Juliet feels Chan’s hold on her hand tighten, anchoring her to show his silent support.

“Is there a problem?” Chan asks, his voice so uncharacteristically cold that for a moment even she has a hard time believing those words came from him.

Seojun’s gaze moves away from him to lock eyes with her almost challengingly, and yet she doesn’t feel an ounce of fear. It’s comforting to know that she’s grown a lot stronger since that night, no longer the same 17-year-old whose heart was shattered by someone who never deserved her to begin with.

So she doesn’t break eye contact and stares back blankly. The minutes seem to drag on until he finally looks away, clearing his throat uneasily before stalking out without another word, and she doesn’t feel bad at all for the sense of victory that fills her.

Chan reaches for both her hands as he moves to stand in front of her. His attentive eyes repeatedly scan over her face, checking for any sign of distress. “Love, are you okay?” he whispers.

His frown relaxes as she gives him a reassuring smile and gently squeezes his hands, his worry dissipating. “I’m okay, Channie. I feel great, actually. Not gonna lie, I was a little scared when I first heard his voice next door, but after seeing how he hasn’t changed at all over the past few years? I realised I have nothing to be afraid of: I’m happy and healthy, and he’s still… well, he’s still him.”

He grins as he cups her cheeks to squish them affectionately. “My brave baby,” he coos, earning a giggle from her, “you did so, so well. I’m so proud of you.”

She leans in to peck his lips. “Thank you, really. I definitely got some extra bravery because my amazing, wonderful, phenomenal, incredible boyfriend is here with me.”

“Hey, stop,” he whines, “now I’m blushing. This moment’s supposed to be about you!”

“Well, I couldn’t do it without you,” Juliet defends, smiling so widely it feels as though the corners of her lips stretch from ear to ear. “Now, are you going to help me with this dress or not?”

“Always at your service, milady.”

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