What I See - 7.5

What I See - 7.5

Tums - 7.5

Jimin POV chapter

Warnings: Heavy petting, lots of inner turmoil.

Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader

Author’s notes: Someone smack him before I do

Stomach Ache // Unexplainable

Is he enjoying this way too much? Probably. Would that stop him? Absolutely not.

How else was he going to get to know you, know what your life consisted of, in a way that Taehyung did. Or even Yoongi for that matter.

Being told Taehyung was your twinflame had put the raging storm in his stomach at ease. But Yoongi was a whole other story. He seemed to know just as much as your twinflame, which made him feel uncomfortable and insecure.

The others had clicked with you instantly, everyone had. Well everyone except him that is. That could have been his fault, but he wasn’t sure.

Confusion and a need to be close to you always flood his mind when you're around. He doesn’t know why he’s so drawn to you, but instinct drives him. His full undivided attention is always on you, whether he means to or not. He really couldn’t come to a conclusion as to why.

Without trying, you make him feel things he can’t comprehend.

---

“Hey Jimin!” He hears you call to him. “Do you want to stay longer?”

He can’t stop the smile that breaks onto his face. He was hoping you’d say that.

“I’d love to.”

----

You are more than anything he could have imagined. The way your face lights up when you smile. Your voice raises in pitch the more excited you get. He understands why the other members are all enamored with you.

You have a comfort in your presence that soothes people. So when his anxiety hits over a new choreo or an upcoming performance or his vocals in the studio, he finds you. But it’s not just the anxiety you satiate, it's the stomach ache. He can’t tell if the ache comes from the anxiety or if it’s from something else. The times it hits is so sporadic he can't keep track anymore. All he knows is that hearing your voice and being around you is enough to settle it.

So sometimes he’d sit quietly in the same room as you, just to calm his nerves. Never needing actual interaction, just being in your vicinity was enough.

He’d had the same increasing ache in his stomach for days now. Being around you dulled the pain but he was never able to completely get rid of it. It was like his stomach alone was on a ship out on a turbulent sea, unable to find balance. Unable to stop the twisted hyperactive moths fluttering in his chest.

More than anything he was annoyed. Annoyed that nothing he ate, no amount of sleep could rid him of this feeling. It was all proving useless.

But sitting here settled into the couch in the studio with you seemed to take his mind off of his discomfort. Letting laughter fill the room as he recounts old stories of the members.

From his spot in the middle of the couch he watches you relaxed against an arm rest, both of you overcome with laughter. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he reaches for you, his hand coming into contact with your bare thigh.

Everything happens so fast. He sees your body react to his touch, his brain short circuits. His fingers twitch on your skin as his eyes momentarily close. Coming out of his slow blink, hes melting. Did he pull you onto his lap or did you climb onto it yourself? He can’t tell, but honestly he doesn't care. Especially with you biting your lip like that. His mouth now feeling dry he licks his own to try and moisten them. His tongue was raw against the soft skin. Suddenly he’s so unquenchably thirsty.

And you are the only drop of water he’s had in years.

He instinctively pulls you closer, hands traveling torturously slow up your body, hesitating momentarily on your hips before inching higher. He can feel your soft delicate skin under his thumbs, It’s softer than he ever thought it could be.

Your breath sweetened by the fruity drink you had been consuming prior now pours into his lungs. His mind becoming intoxicatingly blank as his senses pick up everything from you.

Maybe it’s because he hasn’t been with anyone in a while, or it could be the fact that you’re so breathtakingly beautiful that his body yearns for you. For your touch, for your permission.

He downs out his mind trying to remind him of his soulmate, no one could amount to this moment with you. If a soulmate could bring him to his knees easier then you could right now, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive it.

Feeling you inch closer makes him dizzy. This is how it should feel being with someone. Soulmate be damned.

This is not just a hookup to him, this means something. You mean something to him, but his mind is too foggy to dwell on what that is.

The lust he sees mirrored back in your eyes forms a tight knot in his stomach, his hands tensing. He’s still waiting.

“Make me warm.”

He abruptly surges forward, capturing those lips he’s been wanting so badly to taste. Moore, he needs to feel more. Sliding his hands up your shirt, he stifles back a moan. The heat your body is radiating is everything he could need in his life. Like a warm breeze you want to chase, comforting and safe.

Any begging for more is cut short as you open your mouth to let him in as he licks your bottom lip. It’s like you can read his mind, he’s greedy but you're taking all you can back. When your hands move to his hair and the strands are tugged forcing him to where you need him. A deep groan echos out of him.

Your skin, the taste of your breath, your mutual want for him. All while knowing him, the real him. Not just Jimin from BTS, compels a shiver to run up his spine. His mind spinning, how if only this could be it. But some part of his mind still manages to sputter about how much better it would feel if there was a soul connection.

And that’s when his bitterness overpowers all rationality.

“I wish you were my soulmate, right now.”

He feels you freeze, panic rises in him. He knows he slipped, he tries to save himself.

“Jimin, I can’t.”

You push him away, anger begins to bubble to the surface. Why did his soulmate have to ruin this for him? Was it so selfish to want you? Why did he have to suffer like this. He watches as realization washes over you, the look of horror you now wear. His bubbling anger comes out harshly, a blind rage as you back away from him more. His sevre words coming from a dark place inside him.

“I hate my soulmate.”

Shock appears in your eyes as he turns away from you. He doesn’t have time to do anything before he hears you bolt out of the room.

Revelation hits him, oh god what did he do.

His voice becomes hoarse as he screams your name, apologies dripping after every call. But it’s too late you're too far gone. Grabbing his phone he tries to call you, over and over the voicemail answering.

No, no he did not just completely ruin everything with you. Your freshly made friendship, the trust you had built with him. After you finally allowed him to become closer to you he did not just blindly destroy this.

He knew how you felt about soulmates, the pain you had also been through with your brother, the loyalty you had to your soul's bond. He treated all of that like it meant nothing, like you meant nothing.

So he continued to call, all night even after your phone must have died.

He even tried calling the next day after they were informed you were staying home as you were ill. But you still didn’t answer.

He knew he had no choice, he’d have to accept that you didn’t want to talk to him. Not yet, it was fair. He was determined when we saw you in person again he’d apologize properly.

He’d mend what he broke, he’d do anything for it.

Stomach Ache // Unexplainable

Taglist:

@jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @fangirl125reader @shopmum

I’m so at a loss now. I don’t know which story to focus on 🙄 My mind is all over the place and I want to work on all of them at once 😅

*googles how to make your brain shut up and focus for 5 minutes*

😍😍😍 AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

What if…?

BTS OT7 au mini series {Valentines day /Writing anniversary edition} Masterlist

(Please marvel don’t sue me) 👀

Let’s celebrate a year of writing on tumblr and Valentine’s Day with an au series to my au series (does that make sense?)

What if a major story factor in one of my BTS au’s changes, what would the story be like then? Well here’s a snippet of those universes:

1. CEO - what if the CEOs were hybrids?

Release date : 07/02/2022

2. BODYGUARD - what if you decided to runaway?

Release date : 10/02/2022

3. OUR LITTLE LOVE - What if the guys were the detectives and you were the kingpin?

Release date : 13/02/2022

4. BLEEDING BUTTERFLIES - tbc

Release date : 14/02/2022

[If you would like to be added to the taglist, or have any questions, let me know, I hope you’re as excited as I am 💜]

Lucid

Dormiveglia

Warnings: None

Pairing: Kim Taehyung

Authors notes:

Premise: What if this lucid dream isn't his? What if he isn't the only one brought here? What if she's the one deciding? Either way, she never speaks a word.

masterlist | sneak peak

It was no one's fault. They were all just busy with their own solo projects, whether that be mix tapes or acting or producing and writing. They were just too busy. They never really saw each other outside of work, unless more than one person wound up crashing at the dorm by pure chance. But Taehyung missed it, missed his brothers. And he wished they could go back to hanging out, having movie nights, rehearsing together, going for dinner, even traveling together. But no one had time for that anymore, Tae included. Every night he would crash onto his bed, wishing he’d been able to talk with his members more that day. Sending them a ‘Good night’ emoji in the group chat, then lulling into a sad slumber. But the feeling of being alone lingered around him.

This night has been like all the others, but this time Taehyung’s alone in the dorm. After watching nothingness on tv, for what felt like eternity in the eerily silent dorm, he drags his feet into his bedroom. He relaxes back into his bed, wrapping the soft down duvet around himself, staring up at the darkened ceiling. Slowly his eyes drift shut. He can hear his watch tick, the seconds passing by. Then a comfortable stillness.

Something faint gently tickles his cheek. It doesn’t feel like anything that was on his bed, he’s still laying on his back. Whatever it is brushes against his cheek again, this time his eyes begin to flutter open at the sensation. He’s no longer staring at his darkened ceiling, but a plush vibrant sky. He knows he should be panicking, but he’s not. He takes a slow deep breath in, the air tasting almost like honey, warm milk and chamomile. Tilting his head slightly to the right, he gazes at what was caressing his face. Tall blades of graze, dancing in the wind blow toward him, causing him to blink as they touch his face. Slowly taking in his surroundings, he knows now that he’s not in his bed in the dorm, but in a tall field of grass.

Unrushed he sits up, legs crossed beneath him. He hesitates and looks around. Grass taller than his sitting position towers over him. Almost as if there is a faint hum in the air, moving him, he sluggishly gets to his feet. Noting his still clean pajama pants and sleep T, even with being in the grass, laying in dirt. The grass now up to his waist, he can properly look at his surroundings. Tall trees encircle the field to which he woke up. Except in one direction. He takes a hesitant step forward, the hum vibrates through his body, sending sweet comfort into his mind.

It’s not that he isn’t concerned. It’s not every day you go to sleep in your bed and wake up in a field alone. But something about the warm air, faint hum and peculiar way his mind doesn’t instantly panic, lets him know that this is just a dream. Even though it feels so real. Almost being able to make out the melody of the hum, his curiosity outways anything else, so he begins walking toward the open space not covered by trees. Carding his hands through the grass as he goes his touch so light he almost doesn’t feel the sensation against his fingers.

The warm breeze blows his hair into his eyes, forcing his eyes shut and him to halt his steps. He shakes his head, dislodging the stray strands. Pushing his bangs away from his face, he rubs his eyes before opening.

Confusion floods him. He’s at the edge of the tall grass, a meadow laid out before him. Trees continue bordering this plain.

He whips around to face where he had been coming from. He only managed a few steps before the wind made him blind. So how was he all the way to the edge now.

With a frown etched on his face, he faces back towards the empty meadow. Only now it isn’t empty. There’s a carousel before the wall of trees on the far end. A soft pastel haze drifts around it, the humming now louder, but still as gentle as before. He hesitates, only for a fraction of a second before walking toward this magical ride.

The carousel itself is spinning slowly, the top of it adorned with light pinks, blues, purples and cream panels and ornaments. The cream horses are slowly ascending and descending on gold plated poles. However, there’s no one on the ride. The hum isn’t coming from the carousel itself, he realizes when he stops in front of it. If he extended his arm, he could grab hold of a moving bar, and hoist himself up, but something tells him he doesn’t need to reach that far.

Not willing to break his gaze away, he deliberately reaches a hand up, hand open. His mind in a haze, almost not recognizing the things in front of him. He’s not reached out far enough to grab a bar, but he gently grasps at nothing as he begins to close his fist.

But it’s not air he holds onto.

His eyes trace down, mind shifting out of the haze to see a delicate hand holding onto his large one. The carousel has momentarily stopped spinning, as well as the humming. Eyes following from up the from the hand, to the small wrist, slender arms, to the soft smiling face of a girl, who can’t be much older than himself. She leant down from the carousel, long light brown hair, tumbling down around her shoulders, eyes seeming to hold the world in them. She feels familiar, however he can’t quite place as to why or possibly if he’s seen her before.

She gives their interlocked hands a light tug. For him to blindly follow her, and he does. Unbeknownst to him, he lets her help him up onto the platform of the carousel. The humming starts again when they are face to face, he realizes she was the one humming.

He swears he can almost recognize the light tune of the song, but it’s just out of his grasp. She lets go of his hand as the carousel gently begins to turn again.

He doesn’t feel like he can say anything, for fear of breaking whatever spell he’s under. Her smile never wavers as she looks away from him to the center of the carousel. He follows her gaze. Faintly carved into the pastel pink center pole there’s a word, the purple haze of the world makes it almost unreadable, except for one letter ‘A’.

Taehyung feels a small pressure on his chest. He looks back to see the girl, with her palm against the center of his chest. She continues to smile as she taps his chest with her index finger.

That’s when he feels a tug. A pull from within his chest. She lightly pushes against his chest and his eyes snap closed.

He’s unsure why but the air isn’t as warm as it was, the hum is gone and he’s back in silence. His eyes flutter open in confusion.

He’s back. Staring at the ceiling in his bedroom, alone in the dark once again. Before he can even process what had happened, the alarm on his phone goes off.

Sluggishly sitting up in bed, he reaches over to silence the ringing. He remembers everything so clearly, everything so vividly, except for her. She remains blurry in his memory.

“What-” He didn’t even know where to begin. What was he supposed to ask? What was that?

Flopping back down on his bed, Taehyung rolls off the side, forcing himself up and gets ready for the shoot he has today with his members.

💜♾💜♾💜

“p next-“ A voice resonates through Taehyungs mind. Bringing him back to reality. To the hair and makeup room that hhs currently waiting in, for his turn.

“You’re up next Tae” Namjoon, says again upon noticing the youngers lack of response.

“Uh, yea ok.” Taehyung nods, hand rubbing his chin, willing himself away from his thoughts. He stands up and walks over to the chair. Plopping himself down next to Jimins chair, he instantly finds himself drifting.

“Are you ok today, Taehyungie?” His best friend asks worriedly. “You’ve been spacing out all morning.”

“Just had a strange dream.” He shrugs, as a shiver uncontrollably runs through his body.

“Want to talk about it?” Jimin suggests, looking at Taehyung through the mirror. “It might help shake it off”

He looks back at Jimin through the mirror. Contemplating the idea of describing this new world and vision he saw. He turns to his own mirror, reflection staring back at him. Sullen, out of place even. Breathing deep before speaking.

“No, it’s ok. Thank you, Jimin-ah.” He finally answers, not breaking his own eye contact. Whatever he saw, whatever he felt. It was for him alone, and whoever she was he needs to find out on his own.

Eventually he turns to Jimin giving him a thankful smile. His friend beams back at him.

“Well the offer stands if it keeps bugging you.” Then returns back to his phone.

Returning to look at himself in the mirror, Taehyung notes his almost selfish desire for what he saw to be real. To be for him and him only. The beauty, the softness, the ethereal nature of it all. He would give anything to see it again tonight.

Anything to not feel alone again.

💜♾💜♾💜

Taehyung was excited to go to sleep tonight. He hurried back to the dorm, eating and showering as quickly as possible. Using his phone to research ways to go back to where he was the night before. Scrolling through article after article to find something, anything to ease his distress. Deeming it useless, he made his way into his bed. Once again he was alone in the dorms, even after spending all day with his members it still felt like a lonely day. Not even bothering to send a good night text, he plugs in his phone and sets his new alarm for tomorrow’s schedule change.

He had some interviews to shoot with his Hwarang costars tomorrow. Which would mean he wouldn’t be seeing his members at all tomorrow. That thought alone making it feel like he has swallowed a handful of large rocks. An uncomfortably hard feeling, he was having a hard time discerning.

A sigh of exhaustion escaped his lips as he rolled onto his stomach, arms bracing his head. He couldn’t stare at his ceiling tiles any longer. Thoughts of last nights dream invading his mind, the feelings of dread rising if he would never see it again.

Trying to accept that it could have only been a one off- a fluke dream, he slowly closed his eyes. The crisp air of his room, the ticking of his watch all shouting at him, that he’s staying in his room tonight.

Warm air breathes over Taehyungs body. Honey, warm milk and Chamomile grace his nose, filling his lungs. The hum he now has memorized drifts into his ears. He smiles. Still laying as he did when he fell asleep. Feeling the grass beneath his palms, he springs up, finally opening his eyes.

He’s once again sitting in the tall grass. Looking up, the still vibrant hazy sky shines above him. Unable to contain his excitement he abruptly pushes himself onto his feet.

Looking down he notices this time he isn’t in his pjs. He’s wearing soft brown slacks and a white tshirt. However, he’s not wearing shoes, nor slippers. He can feel the plush soft ground beneath him now. He does take a mental note, compared to his surroundings his colours are muted. Not so muted that they are grey scale, but still muted against the pastel, bright and beaming world he is in. Even his skin doesn’t hold the same life as when awake.

His excitement grows when a warm breeze passes around him, carrying the humming of the girl. He knows it’s her, he can’t forget, even if he tried, he will remember when he wakes.

He takes off in the direction of the whereabouts of where the carousel should be. She has to be there. It’s the only place he knows.

Arms outstretched at his waist, he runs, hands gliding through the tall reeds. The breeze picks up again, this time carrying - if he didn’t know any better a purple tinted smokey haze. Turning around to look but continuing to walk backwards, he sees the purple haze move up into the sky, almost like it was forming with the clouds above. Smiling he turns back around, once again somehow at the edge of the meadow.

This time the carousel is already there. No appearing act is necessary today for the ride. Taehyung takes a few steps toward the unmoving carnival ride.

He can already see her, on the carousel. Smiling at him from a distance. She’s been waiting for him. Another gust of wind blows through the meadow, from behind him towards her.

The white, mid length almost iridescent summer dress flutters around her. The same dress as yesterday, the same shoeless comforting girl he thought he couldn’t remember. But not this time. He swears when he wakes up he’ll remember her, remember everything about her.

He makes his way over to her, never breaking eye contact.

Nothing feels strange. Nothing feels weird, or uncomfortable or wrong here. It feels right. He feels right.

Letting his feet and instincts take over, he willingly stops in front of the carousel. Returning the smile the girl is giving him.

Finally taking the chance to use his voice, faith in this bubble, this moment not breaking.

“This isn’t mine is it?” Taehyung asks quizzically.

The girl in front of him scrunches her nose up and smirks, reaching out her hand for him to take. He looks up at her on the still carousel, uncertainty and questions flood his mind for the first time. But still he takes it, letting her help him up onto the platform, once again. Music this time begins to play softly, coming from a source Taehyung can't pinpoint.

Hand in hand she leads him to one of the carousel bars. She smiles at him and Taehyung's heart feels warm. She slowly brings his hand up to the vertical bar, placing his hand on the pastel metal, her small hand enclosing over his large one. Taehyung's eyes erratically dart around his surroundings as he feels the carousel begin to move with a subtle jolt.

His eyes land back to the girl. The girl who seems to know all the answers but is giving him none. She’s looking at him, she’s never looked away. Until he remakes eye contact. She looks down at their hands on the bar. His eyes follow her gaze.

Beneath his hand, where it meets the bar, there’s a faint glow. Her grip tightens as the glow becomes stronger and more vibrant.

Taehyung thinks he should be afraid, terrified of this unknown….but he isn’t. There’s a tender comfort, like this is something he should know.

She steps back, moving away, letting her hand give his one more reassuring squeeze before she lets go.

Lights shoot out from his hand, small twinkling lights. They move as if they’re alive, with a mind of their own. Almost like fireflies, Taehyung thinks, but there’s no bodies, just a bright core.

The lights dance around him, in time with the music. He can’t help but smile in bewilderment.

That’s when he feels it again. The pull. The carousel comes to a stop and he looks over his shoulder, back towards the tall grass he keeps waking in.

“It’s time again, isn’t it?” He asks looking back at the girl.

She responds with a smile and a slight nod to her head.

He takes a deep inhale and then exhales.

“I want to come back, please let me come back.” he whispers as he closes his eyes and lets the pull drag him away.

Awoken by his alarm going off, Taehyung groans in annoyance. He’s had the dream again. Same place. Same girl, he won’t forget. Not this time.

In one of the articles he managed to skim through last night mentioned something like this. How it felt the first night, it’s a lucid dream. He’s lucid dreaming, but he’s pretty sure it isn’t his dream.

masterlist | sneak peak

Is they hybrid story you’re talking about Eucalyptus? 👉👈

Mayyybeeee…..maaayyybbeeee not

200 Follower Celebration

Hello Sweet Peas!

I can't believe I've hit 200 followers! 🥳 I'm a little later than I wanted to post this thank you, but life has been crazy.

I'm so incredibly thankful for you all. Like I can't even begin to express how much I appreciate you all choosing to go on this wild journey with me.

You liking my fics enough to follow me on my chaotic thought paths.

I never thought ShadowOfAHope would become something so important to me and my mental health. So I thank you for giving me the opportunity to share it.

💜♾💜♾💜

As a thank you, I wanted to do something special! So here it is:

What I see - ALL complete chapters (coming this week)

Character asks open: all complete fics

WIPs to come, small sneak peak - your choice

I promise to do my best and let's keep moving forward together 🥺

I love you Sweet Peas 💜