Bts Jimin Pov - Tumblr Posts
What I See - Masterlist
Premise: This mini series will take place alongside DTMWYS. Just in our soulmates point of view!
DTMWYS: 'Y/N never wanted to find her soulmate. Her soulmate didn’t want to have one. What happens when they are forced to work together, despite the odds. What happens when Y/N is the only half of the soul bond that forms, and it’s too late for her soulmate to realize who she is.'
Warnings: Slight heavy petting, occasional swear words, obliviously infuriating (does that count as a warning?)
Pairing: ??? BTS(idol) x reader(music producer)
Authors notes: If you haven't read 'Don't Tell Me What You See', I suggest you do otherwise this will contain HEAVY spoilers.
Stomachache - 4.5
Tums - 7.5
Unexplainable - 10.5
Swimming - 12.5
Threads - 15.5
What I See - 4.5
Stomach Ache - 4.5
Jimin POV chapter
Warnings: none.
Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader
Author’s notes: Say hi to Jimin for me *smirks*. These will get longer as time goes one, promise!
masterlist // Tums
It’s not that he wasn’t completely unaware of you. He heard your name from other people, saw you down a hallway, or caught of glimpse of you leaving the studio late. He just never saw your face, so he never put any thought into it.
“Firefly!” He heard Tae chirp excitedly. Where had he heard that before? Hasn’t Tae mentioned that name before?
Curiosity gets the better of him. He looks up from his phone, to see Tae engulfing your small frame. He shifts almost uncomfortably.
‘Weird’
He watches as the younger whispers something into your ear. Just before the doors reopen and Bang walks in, he sees it. You’ve pulled apart from each other, just enough that he can see your face and the dazzlingly, radiant smile you have on display.
He tries to focus on what Bang is saying, as everyone sits. The warmth your aura exudes is mesmerizing, it’s like the whole room brightened the moment he saw you. He stares holes into the front, fighting himself to not make a fool of himself already.
He hears Bang call your name. He lets himself look, really look at you, as you stand. His best friend flashing you a double thumbs-up causing you to roll your eyes, in an attempt to not laugh.
His eyes scan over your whole figure when you’ve reached the front. Starting from your toes all the way to the top of your silky head of hair. He can’t place what he’s feeling. Almost like a stomach ache? But what really draws him in is your eyes. How they have a hint of a sparkle in them, so full of excitement, full of life. He watches your eyes meet with the other members, he’s almost giddy at knowing you’ll turn those shining germs towards him.
His stomach settles immediately when you make eye contact with him. An overwhelming feeling of calm washes over him, something he hasn’t felt in almost forever. But he doesn’t react. He can’t.
You quickly nod at him and look away. Too soon, did you break eye contact, too soon did his previous anxiety about their new upcoming bookings return. Too soon was he left with an uncomfortable dull stomach ache.
This time he couldn’t look away, this time he didn’t try to hide it. He stared at you as you bowed and walked back over to Tae and the 4 seater couch. He doesn’t miss Tae placing a hand on your knee. Doesn’t miss his best friend lean over and whisper something to you, close enough he can see Tae’s lips ghost against the skin of your temple. And he absolutely doesn’t miss the way you visibly relax under the other man’s touch.
Taehyung had told him how amazing you were. How beautiful, and maybe that was why he felt so nervous. And why his stomach ache suddenly felt so much sharper.
It was just because you were really pretty….
Right?
masterlist // Tums
Taglist:
@fangirl125reader @shopmum @jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue
What I See - 7.5
Tums - 7.5
Jimin POV chapter
Warnings: Heavy petting, lots of inner turmoil.
Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader
Author’s notes: Someone smack him before I do
Stomach Ache // Unexplainable
Is he enjoying this way too much? Probably. Would that stop him? Absolutely not.
How else was he going to get to know you, know what your life consisted of, in a way that Taehyung did. Or even Yoongi for that matter.
Being told Taehyung was your twinflame had put the raging storm in his stomach at ease. But Yoongi was a whole other story. He seemed to know just as much as your twinflame, which made him feel uncomfortable and insecure.
The others had clicked with you instantly, everyone had. Well everyone except him that is. That could have been his fault, but he wasn’t sure.
Confusion and a need to be close to you always flood his mind when you're around. He doesn’t know why he’s so drawn to you, but instinct drives him. His full undivided attention is always on you, whether he means to or not. He really couldn’t come to a conclusion as to why.
Without trying, you make him feel things he can’t comprehend.
---
“Hey Jimin!” He hears you call to him. “Do you want to stay longer?”
He can’t stop the smile that breaks onto his face. He was hoping you’d say that.
“I’d love to.”
----
You are more than anything he could have imagined. The way your face lights up when you smile. Your voice raises in pitch the more excited you get. He understands why the other members are all enamored with you.
You have a comfort in your presence that soothes people. So when his anxiety hits over a new choreo or an upcoming performance or his vocals in the studio, he finds you. But it’s not just the anxiety you satiate, it's the stomach ache. He can’t tell if the ache comes from the anxiety or if it’s from something else. The times it hits is so sporadic he can't keep track anymore. All he knows is that hearing your voice and being around you is enough to settle it.
So sometimes he’d sit quietly in the same room as you, just to calm his nerves. Never needing actual interaction, just being in your vicinity was enough.
He’d had the same increasing ache in his stomach for days now. Being around you dulled the pain but he was never able to completely get rid of it. It was like his stomach alone was on a ship out on a turbulent sea, unable to find balance. Unable to stop the twisted hyperactive moths fluttering in his chest.
More than anything he was annoyed. Annoyed that nothing he ate, no amount of sleep could rid him of this feeling. It was all proving useless.
But sitting here settled into the couch in the studio with you seemed to take his mind off of his discomfort. Letting laughter fill the room as he recounts old stories of the members.
From his spot in the middle of the couch he watches you relaxed against an arm rest, both of you overcome with laughter. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he reaches for you, his hand coming into contact with your bare thigh.
Everything happens so fast. He sees your body react to his touch, his brain short circuits. His fingers twitch on your skin as his eyes momentarily close. Coming out of his slow blink, hes melting. Did he pull you onto his lap or did you climb onto it yourself? He can’t tell, but honestly he doesn't care. Especially with you biting your lip like that. His mouth now feeling dry he licks his own to try and moisten them. His tongue was raw against the soft skin. Suddenly he’s so unquenchably thirsty.
And you are the only drop of water he’s had in years.
He instinctively pulls you closer, hands traveling torturously slow up your body, hesitating momentarily on your hips before inching higher. He can feel your soft delicate skin under his thumbs, It’s softer than he ever thought it could be.
Your breath sweetened by the fruity drink you had been consuming prior now pours into his lungs. His mind becoming intoxicatingly blank as his senses pick up everything from you.
Maybe it’s because he hasn’t been with anyone in a while, or it could be the fact that you’re so breathtakingly beautiful that his body yearns for you. For your touch, for your permission.
He downs out his mind trying to remind him of his soulmate, no one could amount to this moment with you. If a soulmate could bring him to his knees easier then you could right now, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to survive it.
Feeling you inch closer makes him dizzy. This is how it should feel being with someone. Soulmate be damned.
This is not just a hookup to him, this means something. You mean something to him, but his mind is too foggy to dwell on what that is.
The lust he sees mirrored back in your eyes forms a tight knot in his stomach, his hands tensing. He’s still waiting.
“Make me warm.”
He abruptly surges forward, capturing those lips he’s been wanting so badly to taste. Moore, he needs to feel more. Sliding his hands up your shirt, he stifles back a moan. The heat your body is radiating is everything he could need in his life. Like a warm breeze you want to chase, comforting and safe.
Any begging for more is cut short as you open your mouth to let him in as he licks your bottom lip. It’s like you can read his mind, he’s greedy but you're taking all you can back. When your hands move to his hair and the strands are tugged forcing him to where you need him. A deep groan echos out of him.
Your skin, the taste of your breath, your mutual want for him. All while knowing him, the real him. Not just Jimin from BTS, compels a shiver to run up his spine. His mind spinning, how if only this could be it. But some part of his mind still manages to sputter about how much better it would feel if there was a soul connection.
And that’s when his bitterness overpowers all rationality.
“I wish you were my soulmate, right now.”
He feels you freeze, panic rises in him. He knows he slipped, he tries to save himself.
“Jimin, I can’t.”
You push him away, anger begins to bubble to the surface. Why did his soulmate have to ruin this for him? Was it so selfish to want you? Why did he have to suffer like this. He watches as realization washes over you, the look of horror you now wear. His bubbling anger comes out harshly, a blind rage as you back away from him more. His sevre words coming from a dark place inside him.
“I hate my soulmate.”
Shock appears in your eyes as he turns away from you. He doesn’t have time to do anything before he hears you bolt out of the room.
Revelation hits him, oh god what did he do.
His voice becomes hoarse as he screams your name, apologies dripping after every call. But it’s too late you're too far gone. Grabbing his phone he tries to call you, over and over the voicemail answering.
No, no he did not just completely ruin everything with you. Your freshly made friendship, the trust you had built with him. After you finally allowed him to become closer to you he did not just blindly destroy this.
He knew how you felt about soulmates, the pain you had also been through with your brother, the loyalty you had to your soul's bond. He treated all of that like it meant nothing, like you meant nothing.
So he continued to call, all night even after your phone must have died.
He even tried calling the next day after they were informed you were staying home as you were ill. But you still didn’t answer.
He knew he had no choice, he’d have to accept that you didn’t want to talk to him. Not yet, it was fair. He was determined when we saw you in person again he’d apologize properly.
He’d mend what he broke, he’d do anything for it.
Stomach Ache // Unexplainable
Taglist:
@jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @fangirl125reader @shopmum
What I See - 10.5
Unexplainable - 10.5
Jimin POV chapter
Warnings: none.
Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader
Author’s notes: Just sad, all I am is sad in this one.
Tums // Swimming
Vulnerability. It’s not something he couldn't show. Being vulnerable wasn't hard, but expressing it towards a soulmate he didn’t want? It was torture.
ARMY had been obsessed with knowing who had a soulmark and who didn’t, who found their soulmates and who was still looking. He had been a hit topic for years, when his soulmark was accidentally revealed first. Then eventually Namjoon, Jin and Taehyung announced at a press conference they had them as well, but they chose to keep the exact marking to themselves. And that was a luxury he just couldn't have. Many had faked having his mark to get close to him, use him for his fame or money. Upon meeting any hope he had of finding his true soulmate was piece by piece obliterated.
So when Bang asked him to write a song about finding his soulmate. He knew he couldn’t say no. But he also had no idea how he was going to come up with words to describe someone he never wished to meet.
So he used the words ARMY had said to him and he had said to them, spinning a sweet web of hollow lies:
“The universe has moved for us
Without missing a single thing
Our happiness was meant to be
'Cause you love me, and I love you”
Each word becomes more and more tasteless as he sings them. The poisonous laugh that bubbles when he’s given compliments on the pure beauty of his words, almost makes him nauseous. The happiness everyone described sounded like an extinct metaphor for a fairy tale.
But each fairytale began with a dark story. The brothers Grimm would know the truth in these stories of true love, always ending in loss. Pain. Betrayal. Lies. Maybe that’s what love meant to him? Maybe it was something he didn’t want to think about, too worried he’d drag himself down.
No one could truly know what was meant to be. No one could have known that he would go from his dance school to becoming a member of BTS. No one could know where this group would be now, especially knowing how they started and what they went through. Was this what ‘meant to be’ meant? They were always meant to be together as a seven, becoming friends to family. Could anyone have guessed this for them, but did that even matter?
When he was asked what he wanted for the music video he already had an idea. Now that the song was complete, at night he would dream. Dream of his yellow balloon, stars and planets. If there was ever a time he felt the Kosmos decided to rub salt in his already wounded mind it would be now, with this sick joke.
As the song and its MV release was nearing he couldn't help but reach for his thickest hoodies and jackets. He thought maybe he had caught a cold or something, his body reacting to AC’s and breezes. An eerie chill tickling his skin, one he would brush off. Hot drinks became his best friend, accompanying him on restless nights and exhausting work schedules.
Even after everyone had moved on from his proclaimed love solo, words still lingered in his mind.
Every Night as he finally fell asleep the Kosmos would crudely lull him:
“Since the creation of the universe,
Everything was destined”
Tums // Swimming
Taglist:
@jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @fangirl125reader@shopmum
What I See - 12.5
Swimming - 12.5
Jimin POV chapter
Warnings: mentions of vomiting, mild panic, alcohol.
Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader
Author’s notes:
Unexplainable // Threads
Lips on his, his body begins to vibrate. Hands on his skin his body begins to heat. With each layer of clothing he feels warmer, like he’s pleasantly buzzed.
He didn’t have anything but one small glass of wine before leaving the venue, but somehow he feels as though his mind is floating away from himself. He can’t see the woman's face clearly anymore when they take a moment to breathe. He can’t remember what she looked like before the fog, but it didn’t matter.
The bitterness from being rejected by Y/N still stinging him deeply. Why couldn’t he let it go?
One moment he can feel her hands on him in the deafening silent hotel room as she straddles his lap leaving kisses on his neck, his eyes wandering blankly to the beige tiled ceiling. All it takes is one heavy slow blink and he can almost make out LED lights through the smog. He can feel two sets of hands traveling over him, on his hips, his back, his face and his stomach giving him a warm dull heat. And he can faintly hear unintelligible music, its ringing in his ears.
Too soon is it all too much, the woman on top of him, the ghost hands, the heat becoming searingly painful. The music now too loud, the lights too bright, but all still masked in the dizzying curtain of untouched alcohol running through his veins.
Excruciating nausea rips through his body, shoving the body on top of him off, her name already forgotten he throws himself into the bathroom just in time to catch a phlegmy dry heave.
He waves the woman away, not wanting her to come anywhere near him. Nothing comes out when he heaves again and his lungs forget how to inhale. The room is too heavy, the suffocating sights and sounds from someone else sits on his chest. He grabs his clothes, puts them back on and leaves, not bothering to explain himself except ‘ate something bad’, as he makes a break for it back to his dorm.
Stepping outside the cold air helps, generally hiding from it nowadays it's a welcome embrace. He’s sweating and still struggling to regain breath, but he knows he won’t be telling the others about this. Something felt so wrong about the whole thing, but he was too afraid to know what it meant.
Every once in a while his thoughts drifted to his soulmate…maybe she didn’t want him either. Maybe that's what he felt. Her living her life, making her own choices. Not basing it off of forced destiny.
He genuinely hoped she had fun that night. Genuinely hoped she was happy without him somewhere.
~~
“Tae told me, you left with someone?” The nonchalance in your voice stuns him for a moment.
He can’t bring himself to look at you, suddenly feeling terrified of the truth but more scared to lie to you.
“Yea, I did.”
What was a expecting? A scolding? For you to be so infuriatingly mad at him for making a pass at you, then condemning his soulmate because he wanted to fool around with you but ended up being rejected so he went to find a replacement? He didn’t want to know, he didn’t want to see the disappointment on your face. Anything but that. He didn’t want to hurt you again or for you to think he's a disgusting human being.
“Jimin, you’re allowed to live a little.” He hears a light chuckle from you. “We are friends aren’t we?”
That’s what makes him look at you, friends. You said they were friends.
“No, I know. It’s just-” His guilt betrays him. “I did go with this girl, back to her hotel room. Everything was going great-....but - I couldn’t. I felt like I was hit with this nauseating feeling like I was suffocating so I left.”
He can see skepticism swim in your eyes. He needs to save himself before it gets worse.
“One-minute clothes were coming off and I was kissing her, then all I could hear was this deafening beat, and this feeling of..you know when you drink too much, but you’re still drinking more? Kind of like that. And I swear I could see spotlights when I closed my eyes. And then I was back in the room again with her, but when I touched her again….it felt like I couldn’t breathe, almost like I was drowning. I panicked and went back to the dorm.”
It all comes out in a burst of words, maybe overcompensating a little with volume. He stares at you hoping to convey all his buried emotions.
“Answer me honestly then, If you knew who your soulmate is, would you feel any different?”
Would it? Would he welcome his soulmate with open arms and heart if he met them? Would the heavens feel like they’ve opened up and all would feel miraculously right in the world?
But the truth is, he doesn’t have a solid answer.
“The stubborn part of me wants to say ‘no’, but to tell you the truth, I really don’t know. I guess I have a lot of issues trusting people. Even if they are my soulmate, I don’t think I could just instantly trust them.”
Explaining his own issues and betrayals when it came to having a soulmate was not something he was ready for. Feeling like he could never justify himself to you he wanted the ground to swallow him up. The others fought him on his opinions and wants, the feeling of being judged never came from you, but maybe that was because you didn’t know his whole story like they did.
“I overheard Tae and Yoongi-hyung talking, your soul mirror is sick?” Another outburst he wasn’t planning on having. His breath hitches as he seeks your face muscles twitch. He wants to throw himself in front of traffic. He should not have asked that.
“I guess you could say that, yeah.”
How does she brush off being in so much pain? Acting as if it’s normal as if she’s fine with it.
“Are you scared?” Another question he shouldn’t have asked.
“Not anymore. The damage is done and there's nothing I can do about it.”
“If you could talk to your soulmate what would you say?” How do you do it? How are you so confident in your decisions? Obviously, Taehyung would fight you tooth and nail to keep you safe. So how did you do it?
“I’d probably ask them to reject our bond. Living everyday in pain is terrible. It’s better to rip it away than to watch it slowly being pulled apart.”
“.....you wouldn’t do it yourself?” He waits quietly.
“No. I believe people should be able to choose, to find their own version of happiness.”
Your answers ring in his ears. You consistently shock him, no one could ever hold a torch to your selflessness. The fact that someone wouldn’t want you leaves him dumbfounded. He can’t seem to find his voice as he blankly stares at the wooden table. Sliding a small piece of paper in front of him, he blinks at it hastily. Head shooting up to look at you as you huddle yourself into your puffer jacket, standing to leave him alone with his thoughts.
“And that includes you Jimin. You need to do what will make you happy. No one can force you into a bond you don’t want. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. Because it’s your choice.”
His choice.
And then she’s gone. With shaky hands he reaches for the business card, the words coming into focus on it. Did he have the guts to finally cut himself free? Or was he all words? Was this really what he wanted? You said you’d support him, no ones ever supported him like this before.
His choice.
Unexplainable // Threads
Taglist:
@jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @fangirl125reader @shopmum
What I See - 15.5
Threads - 15.5
Jimin POV chapter
Warnings:
Pairing: Jimin!BTS x reader
Author’s notes: this chapter happens right before the 3 endings. You can pick which one you like more as a completion to this story!
Swimming // masterlist
“The other side of your thread… its-” He can hear the hesitation in the Kosmo readers voice. Something in him begins to rise.
She breathes softly, a flicker of concern “You’ve already met them.”
“I’ve what?”
“You already know them.”
“I can’t. There’s no-” And then it hits him like a freight train. Who else could it possibly be, but his ‘soulmates’ twin flame. The only one who supported him through all his tantrums and whims. Who never judged him or pried into his being. Letting him be whoever he was, never demanding more.
Everything he hadn’t let himself notice came crashing down on him. “Oh my god!”
His vision froze to the golden threads swirling around the room, littered with ethereal stars and clusters of the universe. He was going to rip these out of you. You who had done nothing to make him doubt you. Your sincerity, your kindness, your consideration, your pure soul. He couldn’t be the cause of this. You’d hate him forever when all he wanted to do was hold you close like the others did. He couldn't do that.
Panic in him began to overwhelm his senses. The pain he’d caused, his chest tightening as if someone was squeezing his lungs, prevented him from taking a deep breath. But then he hears it.
Your words ringing in his ear “No one can force you into a bond you don’t want. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you. Because it’s your choice.”
You gave him choice. A single tear slips out, sliding down him temple into his blonde hair. The ceiling in front of him blurs away until all he can see is your face. A smile creeps back as he finally breaths again.
And this time with 100% certainty he knew exactly what he wanted. And for the rest of his life he’d constantly remind you how grateful he is of your existence. Even if that meant you’d never want to see him again. Or if you truly hated him for everything he’s done to you.
He’d make it up to Taehyung, Yoongi, himself and most importantly you.
Because he made his choice.
Swimming // masterlist
Taglist:
@jksbbyfacebunny @lilluvbun @ellxpsismm @pensandmicrogalaxies @mayla548 @nanafj95 @idk123906 @girlinthemikrokosmos @allyyinwonderland @danietoww04 @kaithezaftig @kookachuwu @megjoonyeol @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @fangirl125reader @shopmum