Real Me, Real You - Psh

real me, real you - psh

pairing. sunghoon x fem!reader (ft. jay... sorry)

synopsis. You’re your school’s popular pretty smart girl, but with a twist - you lead a completely different life at home, where you are messy, lazy and foul-mouthed. Only your family and best friend Sumin know about this, until Park Sunghoon, of all people, finds out. The resident cold and arrogant heartbreaker of your school decides to blackmail you into doing his biddings - but you can’t say no, not even when he asks you to be his fake girlfriend, otherwise he’ll ruin your reputation. But as you and Sunghoon get closer, you realize that maybe he’s not so bad after all, and you may be more similar than you'd originally though - all while your old childhood friend Jay watches from the sidelines.

genre. fake dating, high school au, very slight love triangle action, fluff and angst

warnings. this is the first thing i ever wrote so there may be slightly cringe and awkward things but i didn't wanna change anything lol, hoon is a meanie at some point and everything is dramatic and very fanfic-y, mild childhood trauma for both of them <3

word count. 22.9k

author's note. @end-hyphen genie this one is for you... i hope you still like this fic after all this time lol ! as i said in the warnings i only changed a few typos and punctuation from the original but i decided to not make any major changes bc i think it's nice to see what my writing was like when i had just started out!! hopefully i've improved lol, also this was not inspired by true beauty!! i've never seen the show nor read the webtoon. i was inspired by two mangas called switch girl and kare kano (or his and her circumstances) which have this plot of a girl being two different people at school and at home. anyways hope u guys enjoy this and if u do pls lmk <333

Nobody was supposed to find out.

You were the most popular girl in school, known for your looks, good grades, and kind personality. You had a nice group of friends and the whole school at your feet, students and staff alike. As the student representative, you had an image to keep up and needed everyone to think you were perfect; and they did. So you always wore a smile on your face, kept your head up and made sure your uniform was creaseless, all while maintaining the highest scores in your year. Always being friendly to your peers and helping them out prevented anyone from thinking you were a stuck-up goody-two-shoes. You made high school look like a breeze.

But such a life didn’t exist. Who was happy waking up at 6 a.m. every day and dedicating all of their time to schoolwork and student life? You certainly weren’t. What you thrived off of was having everyone think you were. Hearing whispers in the corridor of, “She’s so pulled together!” or “I wish I had her life”, now, those skyrocketed you to heaven. The cherry on top was a nod of approval from a teacher or an “outstanding job again, Y/N” as they handed you back your graded paper. Your favorite color had become the red of the pens your teachers used to write A+ at the top of the page. 

You’d always been academically gifted, but as you heard those words more and more, you’d started craving them and doing everything to hear them again until they started controlling you instead of the other way around. Everything you did needed to be perfect. And that was how you had created this persona of the perfect girl who had it all together at the ripe age of 17. But that’s exactly what it was; a persona. 

As soon as you stepped off the bus and waved goodbye to your friends, you became another person. Or more accurately, you reverted back to your natural self. You weren’t an evil person by any means; it wasn’t your intention to actively deceive everyone at school, it was more of a side effect of keeping up appearances. Only your family and your closest friend Sumin knew what you were truly like: greedy, messy, short-tempered, self-centered, and sometimes downright insufferable. Your younger siblings, Sunoo and Yeeun, liked to joke that you had a button you switched on and off whenever you left the house. When on, you were the sweetest girl ever, but when off, all your vices crept up and let themselves known to the world, or rather to your family. You didn’t mean to make them suffer, but after a long day of being perfect, you needed to blow off some steam; if they had to be your metaphorical punching bag, so be it. 

When Sunoo entered high school, you made him swear he wouldn’t say a thing to anyone. You trusted him and knew he wouldn’t let your secret out - it was too entertaining for him to see you act perfect at school and reveal your true self at home. There was no risk of anyone finding out - you were so intent on keeping the act up that nothing ever slipped you. It had been that way since middle school, and your senior year of high school was going to be no different.

Nobody was supposed to find out, so what was Park Sunghoon doing right in front of you in the frozen aisle of the corner convenience store, just when you happened to be bare-faced, with thick glasses on and a pimple bright red from just having been popped, in your comfiest pajamas, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s in hand?

“Kim Y/N? Y/N, is that you?”

You froze in place, not knowing how to react. There was no way this, your worst nightmare, was actually happening.

When you regained your senses, flight seemed the best way out of this. You avoided Sunghoon’s curious gaze and curtly replied, “No, sorry, I don’t know who that is,” before walking away, iron grip on the ice cream.

But the boy was quicker than you and grabbed you by the wrist, forcing you to turn around. “It is you! Come on, Y/N, aren’t we friends? Do you not recognize me or something?”

If it wasn’t for the panic coursing through your veins at that moment, you might’ve laughed at his question. How could you not recognize the Park Sunghoon? Along with Park Jongseong and Sim Jaeyun, or Jay and Jake as they liked to be called, he was only the most popular guy in your year - hell, in the whole school. The three of them had gained attention from freshman year as the three handsome soccer players. Jake and Sunghoon had been attached at the hip since kindergarten, Jay joining them sometime in middle school when he came back from his year abroad in Seattle. 

Your parents and Jay’s had been college best friends and you two had therefore grown up together, and even used to be quite close. You’d grown apart when he joined Jake and Sunghoon’s friend group, and although you still got on well, there was always a bit of an awkward atmosphere when you caught up with each other.

The three friends had quite different personalities but their complicity and shared history made them stick together. Jake was known for his academic achievements, rivaling yours, and his friendly personality; Jay, for his surprisingly funny antics once you got past the somewhat menacing appearance (which he blames on his resting bitch face). Sunghoon, on the other hand, was as cold as ice, so much that he’d earned the nickname of ice prince, but girls continued to swoon over him due to his incredibly handsome features. When turning down girls, Jake and Jay always tried to let them down gently, but Sunghoon wasn’t one to hold back: he’d laugh in their face or straight up say no, staring them right in the eyes. Most confessions ended in tears (not his, obviously), but girls kept on testing their luck, thinking they might be the one to melt the ice prince’s cold, dead heart.

Clearly, you weren’t Sunghoon’s biggest fan.

His behavior had always made you wonder why Jay and Jake were friends with a person like him. They went back a long time, but how did Sunghoon not become a nice and approachable person like his two best friends? They both seemed so genuine, but he looked like he was hiding something. This was what had made you weary of him; you knew all too well how easily an image that was the opposite of reality could be created. So on one hand, you sort of felt for him, thinking he might be in a similar situation as you. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but feel some kind of jealousy: if you acted the way he did, you wouldn’t receive half the admiration you did. Hell, you’d probably be hated for it - no one likes a girl that’s both successful and bitchy about it. 

One thing was sure, though, and that was that you wouldn’t call the two of you friends, as he just had.

“Y/N? You okay?”

The pure panic in your eyes must’ve made Sunghoon realize something was wrong. He released you and looked you up and down, trying to take your appearance in. The Y/N he was seeing right then was worlds away from the one he was accustomed to at school. 

You realized there was no ignoring him, so you collected yourself and faced Sunghoon. “Uh, yeah, hi, Sunghoon. Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew here.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, no wonder. You look quite… different from what you usually do,” he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

This whole situation got you dumbfounded. You usually knew exactly what to retort when somebody messed with you, your friend or a classmate, but this time, you were completely speechless. You just wanted to escape.

“Well, it was nice seeing you Sunghoon, but I need to get home.” You pivoted on your heels and started walking again, but Sunghoon had other plans.

“Aw, come on, so quickly? We barely got to chat!” He followed you through the aisles as you picked up the remaining ingredients on the list your mother had given you as quickly as you could.

“I didn’t know you needed glasses. Do you wear lenses at school?”

“Yes. I need them to see.”

“I figured.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, and your shock was slowly morphing into anger. Were teenage girls so blind that they’d have a crush on someone with such an abominable personality, no matter how angelic his face was? 

“I really like your outfit, by the way. Looks super comfy.” And as if your embarrassment couldn’t grow any bigger, he added: “Too bad you got a stain on the shirt.”

You looked down at yourself and noticed a huge grease stain on the collar of your shirt. Admittedly, you didn’t always have the best table manners. 

You swore under your breath. It was quiet for a couple minutes as you arrived at the register and paid for your items, Sunghoon still on your tail. He had apparently given up his purchases to focus solely on tormenting you. When you walked out of the store, you thought he might finally be done. But of course, he wasn’t.

“You know, my sister has this really effective pimple cream she uses. Do you want me to ask her what brand it is?”

That was it. You sighed deeply. “Alright, Park. What do you want?”

When you turned to face him fully, arms crossing over your chest and an obviously tired expression on your face, the mischievous glint in his eyes made you realize something. That idiot was enjoying this. 

Indeed, he beamed down at you. You had probably never seen him smiling so widely. “Wow, Y/N, didn’t know you could have such an attitude.”

You stayed silent and continued staring at him, waiting for an answer. He mirrored your pose, out of instinct or to irritate you, you weren’t sure.

“You know, when I moved to this neighborhood before the start of school, I was definitely not expecting to see Perfect Miss Y/N out in her pajamas buying ice cream. I thought you were more into, I don’t know, rescuing puppies from fires or something. That sounds like something you’d do in your free time.”

“Well, is there anything wrong with what I’m doing?”

“Oh, absolutely not! Just a surprising sight. Makes me wonder what the rest of the school would say…” He looked intently at you, clearly waiting for a reaction. You weren’t about to give him one, though.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, shifting your weight on your right foot. “Yeah, like anyone would believe you if you said you saw me looking anything else other than perfect.” It might’ve sounded arrogant, but that was the image people had of you. Even your friends asked you how you did it - if only they knew the truth.

At that, his smile got even brighter. “Don’t worry about that, I won’t need to tell anyone. I’ll just show them!” He pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of you in your god-awful pajamas searching for your favorite flavor of ice cream.

He watched as your face fell, taking your silence as an opportunity to go on. “You were so engrossed in the tubs of ice cream that you didn’t notice a dashingly handsome and tall young man very obviously taking pictures of you.”

This put you into panic mode again. It might have seemed foolish, but you hadn’t worked for years to create a perfect version of yourself only for a stupid boy to destroy it all with one picture. 

You sighed and lowered your head, taking a moment to think. You didn’t know Sunghoon that well, but you didn’t put it past him to send that picture to everyone and ruin your image in the process. You opted for honesty instead of bluff. You took your glasses off and looked back up at him; even if you couldn’t see him as well without them, maybe he’d see the despair in your eyes better.

“Park. I mean, Sunghoon. You can’t show that picture to anyone, okay? You have no idea how bad I need to keep up appearances. It’s really important to me, so just delete the picture and let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

You tried smiling at him, but his expression infuriated you. You could tell he had something else up his sleeve. “Now, Y/N, why would I do that? If I’m gonna do something for you, you should do something for me.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the rest of his thoughts, but you needed to know. Eyeing him suspiciously, you told him to go on.

“Well, I can’t think of anything right now, but I’ll let you know when I do, okay? I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He flashed another one of his smiles, patted your head, and walked away, just like that, leaving you standing outside the convenience store on your own, a melting tub of ice cream in your plastic bag. At least for now, you were safe.

Right?

—

“You saw Park Sunghoon? As in, the Park Sunghoon?” your little sister Yeeun asked, looking at you with huge eyes. You two and Sunoo were sitting on your bed, sharing the ice cream by eating it directly from the tub.

“Yes, that’s literally what I’ve been saying this whole time. How do you know him anyway? You’re still in middle school…”

“Are you crazy? He’s famous in our whole school district! I wish we had cute boys in my school as well,” she sulked, pouting.

“That’s not the point, Yeeun,” Sunoo chimed in, then turned to you. “Well, this is either bad news or the start of a beautiful romance.”

“Sunoo! Take this seriously! I’m in a huge dilemma right now.”

Your siblings shared a knowing glance and snickered.

“Hey! I’m right here. I’m not overreacting, you know. If he does send those pictures around, I’m done for.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, you’d be so much better off if you could be yourself at school. I see you there almost everyday, and the way you laugh always sounds so fake. Nobody would care if you forgot to put makeup on one day or had a crease in your shirt. If anything, it’d make you look more human.”

You could see where Sunoo was coming from, but you chose to ignore it. You sighed deeply. “You guys just don’t get it. They all see me as this perfect, put-together girl. If I showed them even a glimpse of the truth, everything would shatter. It’s too late to go back now.” You ignored their pitying looks and took another big spoonful of ice cream.

It was their turn to sigh. As always, it was impossible to reason with you. Deep in your thoughts, you added: “You know, there was something really off about him today. I’d never seen him act that way before.”

Your siblings looked at you questioningly. “He’s always so cold and distant towards everyone. I’ve only seen him smile when he’s laughing with Jake and Jay or when he makes fun of someone. But just now, he kept smiling at me like he was having fun. He even patted my head when he left.”

At that, Yeeun swooned dramatically, hands over her heart. You looked over at her and said, “I’d be swooning too if it was any other guy than Park Sunghoon. I’m more confused than anything right now, he was a completely different person from when I see him at school.”

They exchanged another look. “You guys stop doing that!”

“Well, it’s just that that sounds an awful lot like someone I know,” Sunoo replied. Realization hit you and you scoffed, mildly offended. At least you were nice to others at school and didn’t act like an asshole with a superiority complex.

“Anyway,” he continued, “what will you do about Sunghoon?”

“I’m not too sure. I guess all I can do is wait and see whatever it is he could want from me.”

“Yeah, do that, and then date him, please. If I can’t have him as my boyfriend, then I’ll have him as my brother-in-law,” Yeeun joked. You didn’t have it in you to retort anything back and started laughing along with her. 

If everything did shatter, at least you’d have your siblings to make you laugh.

— 

The next day, you made your way to the bus stop after your daily morning routine: jogging, showering, eating a filling breakfast, choosing the perfect accessories for your school uniform, applying just the right amount of makeup and going over your subjects and tasks of the day. As always, efficiency is the key. You had become so used to this routine that your body did it on its own, which let your mind wander wherever it pleased. Usually, you’d use this time to prepare yourself for the day ahead, but today, the only thing on your mind was Park Sunghoon. What was that boy up to? Was he up to anything, or did you completely imagine his mischievousness yesterday? In any case, you hoped it would all be over soon. 

You got on the bus and sat down next to Sumin. Your close friend group at school consisted of her, Park Sieun, Lee Heeseung and Choi Jiung, but she was the only one who knew about your secret. You had been friends for so long that you hadn’t even been able to hide it: she’d seen you from all angles, both before, during and after your transformation to who you were now. It was nice having someone else than your siblings to rely on and tell everything to. 

“Minie, you’ll never guess what happened yesterday. I ran into Park Sunghoon at the convenience store next to our apartment unit.”

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but her reaction wasn’t as big as you thought it’d be. She smiled and said, “Huh! I knew he’d moved to our neighborhood, but I wouldn’t have thought he’d live so close to you that you’d even shop at the same place.”

She registered your confused expression and continued. “Didn’t you hear? He moved out of his parents’ house at the end of summer. Something about a huge fight with them that made him move out. But there are always so many rumors about him and his group that I don’t know what to believe.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, unsure what to say. Now that you thought about it, Sunghoon had mentioned moving in your conversation yesterday, but you were so preoccupied with him seeing you in your wild state that you hadn’t paid much attention to his comment.

“Wait, did he do something? Your face is telling me he did something.”

You got closer to her face and gestured for her to do the same. With lowered heads and in hushed tones, you said, “He saw me on off-mode.”

She gasped and jolted back in surprise, eyes wide and eyebrows shooting straight up. “What?”

You shushed her and pulled her in by her shoulders. “He even took pictures.” Your grip tight, you held her from jumping again. “That’s not even it. You know how he's always really cold and distant?”

“You mean how he’s always being a douchebag?” She scoffed. “Yeah, I know.”

You remembered that Sumin had been one of the first of many girls who shot their shot with Park Sunghoon, only to get rejected. You both grimaced at the memory that always left a bad taste in your mouth.

“He was completely different yesterday. Kept following me around the store and, I’m not sure, teasing me? Like trying to get a reaction out of me? In a weird half-friendly half-bully way.”

“Hm, you’re right, that doesn’t sound like him,” she mused. “It does sound like a stupid teenage boy though, which I guess he is, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he’s not.”

This is what you loved about Sumin. She could see right through people, and never hesitated to say what she thought of them, especially when they acted the way Sunghoon did. Sure, there were some personal feelings attached there, but she had quickly gotten over them when she realized how much of a douche he was towards everyone else.

When the bus stopped to pick up some more students, Heeseung hopped on. You quickly told Sumin to keep it a secret, at which she smiled and made a motion as if zipping her lips and throwing the key. If you told your friends about Sunghoon, you’d have to tell them the truth about how he had dirt on you, but you wanted to keep your friendship clean. You chatted the rest of the bus ride away and tried not to worry over Park Sunghoon too much.

When you finally got to school, you, Heeseung, and Sumin made your way to your classroom to join Jiung and Sieun. Before you could get there, however, Jungwon, an underclassman you had talked to a couple times for student council meetings, called out your name. You told your friends to go on without you and turned to the younger boy.

“Jungwon! Hi, what’s up?”

He seemed flattered that you had remembered his name but quickly got on with his business. “Um, I’m not sure why, but Sunghoon told me to come and get you? I’ve never talked to him, I think he just picked me randomly and assigned me a task…”

You sighed. Park Sunghoon truly was something. “Thanks for telling me, Jungwon. I’ll make sure he gets an earful for this, he has no right to boss students around like that.”

Jungwon’s eyes doubled in size as he frantically waved his hands in dismissal. “No! No need to do that, I don’t want to get in trouble with him. I’m just here to relay the message.” At that, he scurried off, and you headed towards Sunghoon’s homeroom. 

When you walked in, a few people were in the room, some girls gossiping with each other, a couple students doing some last-minute revision for a test. You found Sunghoon sitting at his desk, snickering with Jay and Jake and hoped that the subject of their laughter wasn’t you. They noticed you approaching and the two decent boys greeted you; the other one eyed you, that mischievous glint back in his eyes. What could he possibly have in mind?

“Hi, guys.” You smiled at Jay and Jake and reflexively stood closer to Jay. “Sunghoon, Jungwon said you wanted to see me?” you asked, trying to keep your impatience at bay.

“Oh, was that his name? Well, thank heavens for him, ‘cause I forgot my lunch at home. Would you be a sweetheart and go buy me something at the cafeteria? You know how everything runs out as soon as lunch period starts, and I get really cranky when I’m hungry.”

You stared at him, wide-eyed. His two friends’ reaction wasn’t very different from yours. Go buy him lunch? That’s what he wanted you to do?

“What? You don’t want to? That’s too bad, cause there’s a picture I think everybo-”

You cut him off before he could finish. “No! Of course I’ll do it! Can’t have our star player go hungry, now can we?” You cringed at your own words and Jay eyed you suspiciously. Sunghoon beamed, and Jake’s eyes darted back and forth between the two of you in pure confusion. “Um, any preferences?”

His smile got wider. “A tuna mayo would be amazing. Thanks, Y/N! You’re the best!”

“Sure…” you mumbled and quickly walked away, more bemused than ever. You checked your watch. You had 10 minutes before the first bell rang, and you could not be late for class, which meant you needed to hurry. 

You got back to Sunghoon’s classroom just a minute before the first bell. To your dismay, the class was almost full, and girls had gathered around him, trying to get his attention, but he seemed unbothered by their presence. You braced yourself and walked towards him. As your presence rarely went by unnoticed, most eyes were on you and Sunghoon. Not only were you two some of the most popular kids in school, you also happened to be handing him his lunch, a never-seen-before sight between the two of you. 

“I also got you banana milk, for good measure…” 

What had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, something to appease the devil in him, now felt like the biggest mistake of your life. The girls around him started whispering left and right and you weren’t sure whether they felt bad for you, sensing an incoming rejection, or wanted to tear you to shreds for even trying. 

The whispers grew even louder when Sunghoon took the sandwich and milk from your hands, thanking you with a smile. You’d be lying if you said your heart hadn’t done a small jump in your chest at that moment. As much as you hated to admit it, if looks were the sole factor for popularity, then you could definitely understand why Park Sunghoon was so loved. His face looked like it had been carved by the gods themselves. When his eyebrows weren’t turned in a frown, his eyes looked almost sweet, especially when he laughed. His two moles gave him so much charm, the curve of his nose was so delicate and his pink lips looked so, so soft… 

You cleared your throat and smiled back at him before turning around to walk to your own classroom.

“Wait, Y/N!”

You turned back around, all eyes on you. You could feel Jay’s eyes burning holes into you. Sunghoon was still smiling. You thought you’d seen him smile more in the past two days than you had in all the years you’d known him.

“I’ll see you later.”

—

And indeed see him later you did. You always hung back a bit after classes ended to get homework done or work out student council issues. Being in an empty classroom brought you some peace and quiet, very different from the busyness and noise of your home. You couldn’t even focus in your own room, your siblings or parents always barging in to disturb you. The after-school janitors now knew you by name and saved cleaning the classroom you were sitting in for last. 

You had been barely sitting there for 5 minutes, nose buried in a math problem, when Park Sunghoon graciously strode in, swung the chair in front of you around and sat on it, arms crossed over its back as he peered at you. You didn’t even bother to look up at him as you spoke. “What, Park?”

“Oh no, back to last name basis already?” he joked. You didn’t laugh. He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wow, tough crowd. Anyways, thanks for the sandwich today.”

This made you look at him. Or rather, shoot daggers at him. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Did you have to pull that little stunt in front of everybody? You know what our school is like! Rumors are gonna start spreading like wildfire.”

“I already told you,” he said with a defensive tone. “Forgot my lunch, everything was gonna run out, didn’t want to get hungry later,” he said as he shrugged, completely ignoring the latter part of your complaint.

“And you couldn’t have gone and gotten it yourself?”

He beamed. If it wasn’t so damn beautiful, you probably would have started getting tired of his stupid smile already. “Why would I do that when I could get you to do it?”

You sighed. “I knew you weren’t the nicest guy, but I didn’t know you could be such an asshole, Park.”

If you hadn’t been staring him down so intently, you might not have noticed the falter in his smile, so quick it was.

“Oh, come on, Y/N. If anything, I’m doing you a favor by not sending out to everyone that picture you so desperately want to keep secret. Thing is, doing that wouldn’t benefit me in any way, except for getting the satisfaction of seeing everybody realize you’re not as perfect as they think you are. Whereas holding it over your head allows me to do basically anything I want with you. And that, that is just so much fun,” he beams, lowering his voice into a whisper for the last sentence.

What a psycho, you thought. You just sighed once more and returned to your textbook, too weirded out to say anything back. You hoped the silence would make Sunghoon realize how creepy what he had just said was. 

It was quiet in the room, only the sound of your pencil scratching your notebook could be heard. Sunghoon sat in the same position and watched you working. He often saw you like this, focused and benched over a desk, in the library or walking past your classroom. But it was always in passing, and looking at you so closely made all the world’s difference. He could see how you scrunched your nose when the problem got particularly difficult, or how your smirk as you solved another one made your left dimple appear. He also liked the annoyed looks you gave him every once in a while, as if his presence was disturbing your focus. He wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something about seeing someone who always went about their way with such purpose sitting in such silence.

He decided to break that silence. “You know, Jay was asking about you earlier.”

You kept your eyes trained on your notebook but abruptly stopped writing, your pencil leaving a small scratch on the paper. This didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon. “Did he?” you said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible, although you couldn’t help but be curious. Ever since Jay and you had grown apart, there was always a part of you wondering what he was up to, how he was doing, if he thought of you once in a while or reminisced about the good old times as you sometimes did. 

“Yeah. I mean, everyone did, but I didn’t really care,” he answers simply, and even though you’re itching to push him to say more, you stay quiet. “You’re right, by the way, I do know the people in our school. The rumors have already started spreading. Up to you whether you wanna deny them or not, though,” he said with a smirk.

“Don’t even think about it, Park. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll let them think we have a thing going on. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, I know. Anyway, he wanted to know why you did that for me. Guess he was jealous you didn’t do it for him, too.”

“Why would he be?” you asked, trying to make the question sound as innocent as possible. 

“Well, you two go a long way back, right?” he asked tentatively, as if testing the waters.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Then it was probably weird for him to see his childhood best friend and his best bro interacting out of nowhere, even though we’ve both seen each other around a lot and nothing has ever come out of that. Don’t you think?”

A beat passed as you thought about it. “Yeah, I guess that’d look weird to him,” you replied, trying to keep the disappointment out of your voice.

You quickly wrote down your last answer, packed up your things, and stood up. “Well, I’m off now. I’ll see you around, unfortunately.”

Sunghoon, surprised at your quick departure, scrambled to get off his chair and chased after you. “Do you want me to drop you off? I’ve got a car, you know. Much more glamorous than the bus.”

You turned around and looked at him. “I’d rather get hit by said bus than get in your car, Park.”

He stood there, watching you walk away with a smirk on his face as your ponytail swayed from side to side. This was going to be a challenge. You were going to be a challenge. 

Thing is, he loved a good challenge.

—

Back home, you flopped down on your bed and buried your face in your pillow. You laid there for a few minutes, taking some time to gather your thoughts and try to understand Sunghoon’s actions. It was of no use; you weren’t a mind-reader, and he seemed impossible to figure out. He could make you do basically whatever he wanted to, and he decided to make you get him lunch, creating rumors along the way? What could he possibly get out of that?

Your reflexions were quickly interrupted, however, by a flurry of incoming messages on your phone. Someone had posted a photo of you handing his banana milk to Sunghoon on your school’s Instagram account - because apparently, your school was so obsessed with gossip that they had created an Instagram page just for it. The photo had blown up among your peers and it made you wonder if people really were that bored with their lives.

People you barely knew but that felt entitled to knowing your relationship status were DMing you, asking about today’s events. You quickly got tired of it, so you texted your worried and confused friends that you didn’t feel like talking tonight and would catch up with them tomorrow. You opened your textbook, deciding that studying would be the best and most efficient distraction.

When your parents called you and your siblings for dinner, you still weren’t feeling great. Your family quickly registered your annoyed expression and could only hope for the best. You already weren’t the easiest to live with, but when you were tired, you just got a hundred times worse.

“So, how was everyone’s day?” your mom asked cheerily.

Yeeun’s eyes lit up instantly. “Mine was great! I met a really cute boy. His name is Nishimura Riki and he just transferred from Japan.”

“Oh, that’s nice!”

“You’re too young to be thinking about boys, Yeeun.”

Your mom and dad had replied at the same time, then gave each other a stern look.

“I’m not thinking about him, Dad, just looking,” your sister replied, earning a chuckle from your concerned father. 

“Mine was alright. I guess the start-of-a-new-year excitement has already worn off. After a week,” Sunoo said with a sigh. 

Your mom turned to you. “What about you, Y/N?”

“It was fine.”

The sharpness of your tone changed the atmosphere in the room at once. You ignored the looks your family exchanged and continued eating your food, eyes not leaving your plate.

For some reason, Sunoo thought it’d be a great idea to chime in. “She’s not happy because she had to buy Park Sunghoon his lunch and everybody went crazy over it.”

“Sunoo!” you protested. Your parents didn’t need to know about this sort of stuff.

“Park Sunghoon? Is that someone we’re supposed to know?” your dad questioned.

Yeeun scoffed. “Uh, he’s only the most popular and handsome guy at Y/N and Sunoo’s school, dad. Duh.”

“Right. Duh,” your dad said, imitating your sister’s tone.

“And why did you have to buy his lunch, Y/N?” your mom asked.

“Because he saw what she looks like when she’s not at school,” Sunoo said, not even giving you the chance to reply yourself.

“Sunoo!” you scolded again.

“And now I guess he’s using that against her to get her to do what he wants? Right, Y/N?”

You glared at your brother and let a beat pass. “Right,” you reluctantly admitted.

“Lucky…” your sister mused, expression like she was daydreaming about being Sunghoon’s personal assistant.

Your dad ignored your sister and looked straight at you. “That’s inadmissible, Y/N. You can’t let him do that.”

“Your father’s right, sweetie. It’s not right,” your mom added when you stayed silent.

With everybody’s eyes on you, you felt obligated to reply. “It’s fine. It’s not like he asked me to do anything crazy. I’m sure he’ll stop soon enough.”

“You know, boys that age, they’ll do anything to get a girl’s attention,” your dad warned. “Just ignore him and he’ll go away.”

“If she ignores him, he’ll tell everyone what she’s really like,” your brother explained.

“And what’s so bad about that? I’m sure it’d be easier if you stopped lying to everyone.”

Everyone suddenly stopped in their motions, wondering why your mom would say something so true yet so controversial. You looked up at her. “What’s so bad about that? What’s so bad? I don’t know, maybe the fact that I’ve worked so hard all these years for everybody to like me and look up to me only for a stupid picture taken by a stupid boy to ruin everything,” you said all in one breath, voice coming out harsh. You were tired of having to explain the same thing over and over again - your parents just didn’t understand why you did what you did.

Your mom opened and closed her mouth again, knowing it was useless trying to talk sense into you. It never ended well when you had this conversation.

“Who put mushrooms in this anyway? You know I hate mushrooms,” you said before filling up your bowl and taking it to eat in your room, making sure you’d slammed your door behind you.

—

On the bus the next day, you tried to explain the events of the previous day to your friends.

“There’s nothing really to it. He just asked me to get him lunch so I did, and when I handed it to him, his whole class was there and saw everything.”

“I get that, but I just don’t understand why he made you do it in the first place, or why you agreed,” Heeseung said, “it’s so unlike the both of you to do something like that.”

You hadn’t even thought to come up with an excuse for your and Sunghoon’s yesterday - your friends were definitely super confused, but you didn’t want to tell them the truth, so you had to quickly find something to say that was somewhat believable, and change the subject.

“I have no idea why he did what he did, but I didn’t want to cause a scene so I just agreed. I don’t really care, to be honest, I just wish it didn’t have such consequences. People seem to think we’re characters on a stupid Netflix coming-of-age series or something, when we literally just go to their school.”

As soon as you’d turned your phone back on this morning, it started pinging with all the messages that had flown in since last night. People were talking about it everywhere: Kim Y/N, highly sought-after bachelorette, had offered Park Sunghoon, notorious rejecter of girls and breaker of hearts, a sandwich and a banana milk, and he had taken them. What’s more, he had been seen at lunch heartily eating them. This was serious.

You didn’t think things could get any worse until you got to school. You were used to random people coming up to you in the hallways or in class for help, except today they weren’t asking for help at all - they were asking what was up between you and Sunghoon, as though handing him a tuna mayo was like asking for his hand in marriage. Most of them were just curious, but some, especially his fanclub members, had an aggressive tone to their voice, which you weren’t used to. If people started liking you less because of Sunghoon, you were going to kill him.

But you had to hold onto that thought, because an all too familiar voice had suddenly called out to you on your way to class. You took a deep breath and turned around, watching him take long strides towards you. You immediately became aware of the amount of people in the hallway and realized you couldn’t talk to him like you had the previous day in front of everybody. You mustered the fakest smile you could and greeted him.

“Hi, Sunghoon. What can I help you with today?”

He smiled, obviously enjoying the fact that you had to be nice to him. “I’ve got my sports bag because of practice later tonight. Mind holding onto that for me for the day?”

Your fake smile turned a bit crazy as your eyes widened in disbelief. "Don’t you have a locker for that, Sunghoon?”

“Yeah, but it’s so much more fun if you’re the one to hold it.” And with that, he threw the bag in your direction, leaving approximately 0.5 seconds to catch it. “I’ll need that later today. Meet me in front of the locker rooms after school, yeah?”

He didn’t bother to wait for your answer and walked away, Jake and Jay following closely behind. Jay sent you a questioning look, to which you could only reply with a shrug. If it wasn’t for all the students in the hallway, you would’ve been yelling Sunghoon’s ear off at that point. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility, so you just smiled to your friends who were looking more confused than ever.

“Let’s just go to class, guys.”

—

Throughout the whole day, you could feel people staring at you, then at the bag you were holding, then starting to whisper among themselves. You tried your best to concentrate in class so you could momentarily stop pondering over what Sunghoon’s evil master plan might be, but everyone seemed bent on making that usually simple feat impossible. When 3:30 p.m. finally came around, you bid your friends goodbye and headed to the boys’ locker room. Every boy walking in eyed you suspiciously, unsure as to what you could be doing there. Of course, Sunghoon had to take his sweet time to get there. 

Staring at the opposite wall and planning Sunghoon’s murder in your head, you hadn’t noticed Jay and Jake arriving. Jay signaled for his friend to go inside the locker room and told him he’d join him in a minute. He waved his hand in front of you to get your attention, a smile on his face. You sighed in relief at the familiar sight of your friend.

“Hey, Jay. Sorry I didn’t see you.”

“You okay, Y/N? You look like you’re about to murder someone,” he said, slightly amused.

“If only you knew,” you mumbled.

He noticed the bag in your hand. “You waiting for Sunghoon?”

“Yeah. If only he could hurry up a little bit. I’ve got stuff to do.”

There was something about Jay that made it impossible to lie to him. Maybe it was the fact that you had known each other for so long, way before you’d turned into what you were now, that made you feel as though showing a side of you that gets annoyed and impatient and doesn’t smile all the time was okay.

Jay looked at his feet before looking back up at you. You were still staring at the wall but your murderous thoughts had somewhat calmed. “Mind telling me what this whole thing with Sunghoon is about?”

You turned to him and were about to fumble for an answer when someone interrupted you. “What whole thing with me?”

Whew. Saved by Sunghoon. You didn’t like that it was thanks to him that you could get out of answering Jay, but at least you didn’t have to come up with yet another stupid excuse.

Jay turned his attention to his friend and stood up straighter. “You know, making her get you lunch or hold your bag all day. There’s dozens of girls who’d be more than happy to do that for you, so why Y/N? She doesn’t have time for this stuff.”

You looked at Jay with surprise. Sure, you were friends, but you hadn’t thought he’d defend you like that in front of Sunghoon.

“Well, Y/N’s just such a nice, reliable person. No one better to ask to do those things.” What a reason, you thought. He turned to you and took the bag from your hands. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll see you outside in a couple minutes.”

“Huh? What do you mean? I’m leaving,” you said, body already headed towards the other direction.

“What? You can’t leave before practice has even started. Go to the benches outside, we’ll be out in a few.”

You were about to open your mouth to protest, but he cut you off. “You don’t want to?” He started pulling out his phone. “That’s funny, because there’s a pict-”

“I’ll be on the benches! See you soon!” you quickly said, pushing the two boys inside the locker room, Sunghoon smirking, Jay looking at you in utter confusion.

Girls sat in a few different groups in the bleachers. You recognized the girls in one of those groups, so you decided to sit with them. As you approached, they quickly looked at each other and then back at you, expressions half-friendly, half-what-the-hell-are-you-doing-here. 

“Hi guys! Mind if I join?”

“Hi Y/N! No, of course not, come sit,” Jake’s girlfriend, Yujin, said. 

“Are you guys here to watch practice?”

“Yeah! I’m here on girlfriend duties for Jake. These two are just here for the eye candy and to keep me company,” Yujin explained.

“Yeah, but mostly for the eye candy,” added her friend Wonyoung. 

“What about you, Y/N? I’ve never seen you here,” asked the last girl, Gaeul.

“Oh, um, Sunghoon asked me to come, actually.” You regretted your words as soon as you’d let them out. They all ooh-ed at your response, making you blush, which just egged them on. This was nothing to blush about, Y/N. You’d just made the rumors get a hundred times worse with one sentence.

“The whole school’s been talking about you two, you know. Anything you wanna share? Don’t worry, we can keep a secret,” said Wonyoung with a wink. You chuckled awkwardly.

“Oh my gosh, yes, tell us!”

“Guys, don’t make her uncomfortable,” Yujin chimed in, smiling at you. You returned her smile, grateful, once again, that you didn’t have to explain your new link to Sunghoon. “Look, practice is starting.”

You turned your head towards the field as the soccer players started doing laps as per the coach’s instructions. Your eyes immediately drifted towards Sunghoon without you even realizing it. His lean figure hypnotized you. The last time you had had PE with him was in freshman year, and puberty had hit him like a fine, fine truck. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he lightly jogged next to his friends, chatting like it was nothing. You weren’t being very subtle with your stare and he eventually noticed you, sending a wink your way. This made you snap out of your reverie and you scowled at him, as if he could make out your annoyed expression from such a distance. You turned back to the girls, who were giggling at you.

“Wow, those were some serious heart eyes you were giving him, Y/N,” Gaeul giggled.

You opened your mouth in mild shock. “Was not!”

“Sure, whatever you say,” she replied knowingly. “Well, look all you want. Warm-up is the best part. It gets boring when they actually start playing.”

“No way! Watching them play is my favorite part,” Yujin disagreed.

“Yeah, that’s cause you’ve got someone to root for,” retorted Wonyoung. She looked at you slyly. “Well, I guess Y/N does, too.”

You scoffed. “Believe me, I will not be rooting for him.”

You started staring at him again, this time with a glare in your eyes. From their silence, you deduced the girls must’ve judged it a better idea to not question you too much. After the boys were done with running exercises and stretching (which you had enjoyed watching a bit too much, if you spoke truthfully), they started playing. The coach split the boys into two teams, Jay leading one and Sunghoon the other. It was a very close game. You could never tell who was leading, although that might have been due to your extensive lack of knowledge in the sport. All you knew was that you desperately wanted to see Sunghoon lose; that might put him down a peg. What you told yourself, however, was that you wanted Jay to win. So when he scored a goal, you surprised the girls next to you, the boys on the field and yourself as you jumped up and down, cheering for him. Realizing what you were doing, you quickly sat down and sent him an awkward thumbs up.

Jay tried to hide it, but he was blushing. Hard. Truth be told, he had noticed your little eye contact moment with Sunghoon during warm-up and hadn’t particularly enjoyed it. So seeing you cheer for him like that made him swell with pride, which only grew when Sunghoon scored and you barely reacted. 

When the game was over, you thought you might be able to finally go home and start studying. But Sunghoon had other plans for you, as always these past couple days. Heading towards the showers, he motioned for you to come down from the benches. As you did, Jay walked past, and you smiled at each other.

“Good game.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He continued walking as Sunghoon reached you.

“What about me? I scored a goal, too.”

“Oh, did you? Didn’t even notice," you said, looking at your nails. The polish was starting to chip - you’d need to reapply a layer tonight.

“Whatever. Wait for me, yeah?”

“What? No! I gotta go home!” But your protests were in vain, as he completely ignored you. 

You waited outside the school with Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul. After a little while, Jake, Jay and Sunghoon joined you guys, having successfully showered and not smelling of sweat and dirt, thank God. Yujin was dropping her boyfriend and her friends off, so they bid their goodbyes and headed towards her car. Sunghoon and Jay also started to walk towards the parking lot, leaving you standing alone, not sure what to do. Sunghoon turned around and looked at you with a frown.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, what are you doing?”

“I’m dropping you and Jay off.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, taken aback. “Didn’t know I was just supposed to guess that.”

As soon as Sunghoon started to drive, you noticed the awkward air between the three of you. Luckily, after years of being a people-pleaser, you had become somewhat of an expert in making small talk, which helped prevent a silent ride. You don’t think you could’ve gone through that without a mental breakdown.

Because you and Sunghoon lived closer to each other (and we all know the consequences of that), Jay was dropped off before you. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at school,” he said before giving you a last glance.

“Bye, Jay.”

“See you, bro.”

Thankfully, you only lived a couple minutes by car from Jay’s and hoped the rest of the car ride would be peaceful. Which was really stupid of you to hope for, because you were in the car with Park Sunghoon.

“So, Park Jongseong, huh?” he said, eyes trained on the road in front of him. Even though he was trying to keep his tone light, you thought you detected a slight harshness to his gaze.

“What about him?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to say. We’ve just been friends for a long time.”

It was silent for about five seconds. “You really feasted your eyes during warm-up, huh?”

“Shut up, Park.”

“No, it’s alright, I get it. I’d do the same.” He laughed at his own joke that wasn’t really a joke. Why was he laughing, anyway? 

You looked at him. His face was so different from all those times you’d seen it at school. His eyes, rid of the harshness you’d seen earlier, crinkled at the edges and had an amused glint in them. His smile dug pretty dimples into his cheeks and you let your gaze linger long enough to notice he had sharp, vampire-like canines, which were surprisingly cute. You didn’t know why he was showing you a side of him he never showed anyone, except for his close friends, you assumed. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you chuckled with him. 

“So, do you already know what task you’re gonna give me tomorrow?” you asked, genuinely curious.

“Hmm, haven’t really thought about it yet. I’d rather keep it a surprise, anyway. Keep you on your toes.”

“Pfft. What a great surprise.” He laughed again, and you couldn’t help but join him. He was unusually giddy that day, but you didn’t want to complain. This was a thousand times better than the arrogant Sunghoon with his I’m-better-than-all-of-you facade. What you didn’t know was that he, too, liked your snarky, no-nonsense side infinitely more than the model student, pretty girl persona you had created for yourself.

Finally at your house, you got out of the car and headed to your house after waving goodbye to Sunghoon. He rolled his window down and leaned out of it.

“Y/N?”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

“About your task tomorrow…”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll love it.” He gave you an umpteenth wink, rolled his window back up and drove off.

You weren’t so awful to your parents and siblings that evening.

—

The next day at school, you were wondering why Sunghoon had said you would love your task. Because you were, in fact, quite loathing it. He had found you studying during your free period after lunch and dragged you to the part of the library where it was okay to talk a bit over whisper level. You were currently going over a scene in The Tempest which you had seen in AP English Lit last year and clearly had no time for. But obviously, that wasn’t a problem to Sunghoon, who just wanted to get a passing grade on his English essay without putting in too much effort. 

After twenty minutes of going over the same five lines, you were about to give up. “Look, Sunghoon, I don’t mind helping you. I’ve tutored dozens of students before so I’m used to it. But you’re not making any effort! If you want to get it, you need to at least try.”

“But it’s so boring,” he whined, not unlike a child. “How am I supposed to find any meaning in this? It’s just stupid people doing stupid stuff on a stupid island.” You cringed at his words and hoped Shakespeare wasn’t listening in on this conversation. 

“It’s not stupid. It’s about power, and being punished for chasing it, and it’s a metaphor fo-”

“Ugh!” he groaned loudly. “You know what, I don’t care enough about this. Just write the essay for me, okay?” He got up and left, again not waiting for your answer. You wanted to protest, but you know what would happen if you said no to any of his requests, so you just quickly got to work.

Everyday over the next couple of weeks, Sunghoon would find something for you to do. Most days, he’d just get you to buy him lunch (although he thankfully had started paying you back) or carry his stuff around like the first two times. He didn’t ask you again to tutor him, however, so you had gotten used to sitting in an empty class together after class, you doing his homework for him and attempting (and failing) to explain it to him, and him alternating between playing on his phone and looking at you. Although it’d flustered you at first, not used to having someone stare at you while you were trying to concentrate, you’d grown somewhat okay with it - all of your complaints were ignored anyway. One time, he even got you to work on his science project with him, a weirdly-shaped volcano he needed to paint and decorate before actually putting the chemicals in. You’d be lying if you said it hadn’t been fun painting it together, occasionally ‘accidentally’ getting paint on the other’s hand or cheek instead of the volcano. 

You went to see him at practice two to three times a week, although you weren’t sure what use that had for him. If anything, you were probably the one who enjoyed yourself more. Perhaps, after being forced to spend so much time with him, you had started to soften up to him. And, perhaps, that made you appreciate his good looks even more. You couldn’t deny the effect his damp hair, stuck to his forehead with sweat, had on you. 

The rumors hadn’t died down, but people had started getting used to seeing the two of you together around, so they didn’t ogle their eyes at you everytime you and Sunghoon had some kind of interaction. Not liking that you couldn’t control people’s opinion of you anymore, you were still a bit bothered by them, but Sunghoon’s little posse of fangirls didn’t seem to be. They’d been the one to question you the most, and you got a few nasty looks in the hallway, but the gossip around school hadn’t stopped them from keeping on following him around, harassing him from morning to afternoon by going to his homeroom at breaks, sitting at a table near him at lunch, and going to see him at practice. Their group had dwindled down, though; most likely, some of them thought you two might be dating and had finally realized they didn’t stand a chance with the one and only Park Sunghoon. Thank God you had your friends and now sometimes Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul around you during those times, otherwise, you’d probably have been jumped. Spending so much time with him had kept you a couple times from your friends, which they’d complained about, but sensing that they couldn’t do much about it, they let you be, even though they hadn’t gotten a satisfactory explanation yet.

One person who didn’t want to, or rather couldn’t let it go, though, was Jay. He still couldn’t figure out why you’d started spending so much time with Sunghoon, seemingly overnight, and it created an unpleasant, sour pit in his stomach. Out of all the people you could’ve decided to form a new friendship with, why’d it have to be his best friend, meaning he saw you more often now than before, but not because he was the one you had come to see? Why did you never get him banana milk for lunch, and why’d you only start coming to soccer practice because Sunghoon had asked you to? He’d tried to ask both of you about it, but you always gave him half-assed excuses that didn’t make much sense. 

He realized what he was feeling was jealousy the day you came into their homeroom before the first bell rang and asked Sunghoon how his science project had gone. You’d never asked him how his science project, or any of his projects or tests, for that matter, had gone. He recognized it as the same feeling he had harbored when he had come back from the US in middle school and saw you dating Choi Soobin, or when Lee Heeseung had joined your tight-knit group of friends in freshman year. You and Soobin had only dated for three weeks and a half because you had a relationship-terminating argument over mint chocolate ice cream, and you and Heeseung had never become more than friends, nor had the intention to. But Jay didn’t care about that; all he saw was that there were boys around you that weren’t him. He had never acted upon those feelings, dismissing them as over-protectiveness for someone he had known since forever, but seeing Sunghoon and you laughing together hit too close to home. He couldn’t ignore how he felt because he was reminded of it everyday, but he didn’t know what to do with these newfound emotions.

And what’s the best thing to do whenever you don’t know what to do? Talk to your friends. Or well, in this case, your friend. He didn’t wanna talk about you to Sunghoon. He was a firm believer of bro code, but he didn’t wanna bottle up his feelings like he had all these years. So he went to Jake and told him everything, from your childhood friendship to Soobin, Heeseung and now Sunghoon.

“I know it’s stupid. It’s this whole cliché of, you only realize what you have when you lose it.”

“Well, you haven’t really lost Y/N, you know. It’s not like Sunghoon and her are dating.”

“I guess not, but he clearly likes her. It’d be a dick move to go after her now that they’ve got something going on.”

Jake hesitated for a second, debating whether he should say what he was thinking, but ultimately deciding it might be better to do it. “You know, I’m not sure that he does. You know what Sunghoon’s like. He’s never very honest about his intentions. I don’t wanna bring the subject up with him, cause I don’t wanna cause any drama, but it’s so suspicious to me that he’s suddenly spending time with Y/N when he’s never mentioned her all those years and when he rejects all these girls all the time.”

“I think it’s weird, too,” agreed Jay. “I just can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m a bit scared for Y/N, to be honest. Remember that girl in freshman year? They’d gotten along really well when he suddenly dropped her. I still remember his cold-ass stare when he turned her down. It even chilled me, man.”

“God, yeah, I always forget about that. He may be a jackass to all those girls, but when you know what he’s really like like we do, it seems so unlikely that he’d do something like that.”

Jay sighed and looked out into the distance. “I just hope he doesn’t hurt Y/N.”

Jake looked at his friend, thinking how to phrase his next sentence. “Like I said, I don’t wanna cause any drama… but, man, if you don’t want him to hurt Y/N, just don’t let him. If you make a move on her, you might get to her before he does. Better to do that now than to have to pick up the pieces, don’t you think?”

Jay mentally thanked the heavens for gifting him with a friend like Sim Jaeyun. “Yes, that is much, much better.”

He was going to stop sitting on his feelings and finally let them see the light.

—

But before that, Sunghoon had another one of his requests for you. You were sitting together in an empty classroom after school as you often did these past weeks. For you, today was an ordinary day, but the boy in front of you had something else in mind. He wasn’t saying anything but you could feel his nervousness and it was starting to make you feel anxious as well.

You lifted your head from your notes and looked at Sunghoon who seemed lost in his thoughts. “What is it, Sunghoon?”

This made him snap out of his reverie. “Um, nothing.”

“Well, seeing how you’ve been tapping your foot at the speed of lightning ever since we got here, it doesn’t seem like nothing.” You crossed your arms over the table and looked at him more intently, eyes asking him to tell you what was on his mind.

He sighed, giving in. “I was just thinking… there’s something I wanna tell you.”

“Go on. “

“I need you to date me.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Park Sunghoon… needed you… to date him? Was he asking you out? The way he’d worded it was a bit odd, but you didn’t put it past him.

Taking in your silence and wide eyes, he quickly added: “Not in that way! I, um, need you to be my fake girlfriend.”

Oh.

So he wasn’t asking you out. You weren’t sure why that made you so upset, but you tried to keep the disappointment out of your eyes and voice.

“Right,” you said, tone a bit harsher than you’d meant it to, “and why would I do that?”

Sunghoon smirked lightly. “Well, first of all, you don’t have much of a choice.” You rolled your eyes at that. It’d been a few days since the reason why you had started hanging out in the first place had come up, and you didn’t like to be reminded of that god-forsaken picture. 

“And second of all… I guess I should be completely honest with you.” This piqued your interest, and you leaned back on your chair to listen to him. 

“When I saw you at the store and took pictures of you, I wasn’t really thinking of doing anything. Maybe just get a laugh or two and tease you about it. I even told you outside the store that I didn’t know what I was gonna do. To be honest, I didn’t really think there was anything you could do for me that I’d need to force you to do. So I thought about it all night. And I asked myself, what’s the thing that pisses me off the most at school that you could change?” he looked at you expectantly, as if you could figure it out. You just shrugged.

“It’s those girls that keep following me around. All these years, I’ve acted like a giant asshole with them and still they think they have a crush on me or whatever. And I’ve never liked any of them, they’re all so superficial and ask me out without having ever talked to me before. So I thought, hey, maybe if I have a girlfriend, they’ll leave me alone. Which is why I made you do all those things for me.”

“So that they’d think we were dating?” you asked, trying to take all this information in. You’d sort of known it this entire time, but Sunghoon blatantly admitting he’d been using you hurt nonetheless.

“Yeah. But obviously, you always denied the rumors, so it hasn’t worked as well as I thought it would. It still did a bit though. So I think, if we take it the next step, and actually pretend we’re dating, it should really work. But I need your full cooperation on this, okay?” He looked at you, hopeful eyes and hands in prayer.

You sighed. As he said, it wasn’t like you had much of a choice.

“Please, Y/N? I really want them off my back.”

“Fine, Park, I’ll do it. But this better be the last thing you make me do.” You couldn’t help but sound cold. This made you rethink these past few weeks’ events. Were you the only one actually enjoying spending time together?

“Thanks, Y/N. And yeah, of course. You won’t have to carry my bag or get my lunch anymore if you want. Maybe it’ll be more believable if I do that for you.”

You had focused your attention back to your homework, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

“I’ll also pick you up in the morning, so you don’t need to take the bus.”

You hummed in response.

“Um, and I’ll also drop you off after school and after practice…” Sunghoon trailed, troubled by your silence. You hadn’t been so cold since the first couple times you two had talked, and he hated the idea that that might be because of what he had just said. So he took a chance.

“You know, Y/N, this doesn’t change anything. I wouldn’t have made you do all those things if I didn’t like spending time with you. You’re really nice to be around,” he admitted shyly.

You were far too flustered to lift your head and let him see your face. You just grinned and murmured, “Whatever, Park.”

—

Sunghoon kept his promise and picked you up in the morning. He called you at exactly 7:55 a.m., saying he was waiting outside and you rushed out of your house, piece of toast still in your mouth. In the car, you two went over what being in a fake relationship would involve.

“We just need to be seen around together, right?” you proposed, hoping your lack of experience wasn’t showing.

Thankfully, Sunghoon had no idea what being in a relationship, fake or not, entailed either. “Yeah, I think. And maybe…” he hesitated. 

“Maybe?” you prodded, hoping he wouldn’t (or actually would, but you’d never admit it) say what you thought he was about to say.

“I don’t know, like, hold hands, and… kiss.” The last part had barely been audible, but you’d still heard it.

“Kiss?” you echoed, voice almost a shriek. “I don’t think we need to go that far, Sunghoon.” A little voice in your head was saying that you’d really like to go that far but you made it shut up.

He was blushing profusely but didn’t want to drop the subject there. “At least on the cheek, or something. We do have to make it believable.”

And there it was. The little sentence, reminding you none of this was real. Seemed like that was a pattern in your life.

You looked out the window. Sunghoon glanced over at you, cursing himself for always saying the wrong thing. He was trying so hard to drown his blooming feelings for you that he kept on hurting you in the process. This whole fake-dating plan was the perfect excuse for him to spend more time with you without having to come to terms with his feelings. 

“C’mon, Y/N, it’ll be fun. Promise.” He nudged your arm playfully, making you look at him. His smile was contagious; you could never help yourself but start grinning when you saw his face light up like that. Maybe he’s right, you thought. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

When you arrived at school, Sunghoon told you to wait for a second. He got out of the car and quickly walked around to your side, opening the door for you. You hated how your heart fluttered at the sweet gesture, reminding yourself it was just for show. The important part was that it fooled everyone else, and it did - as you took Sunghoon’s hand, letting him help you out of the car, and walked with him hand in hand towards the school gates, you could feel all eyes on you. You could hear whispers of see, I told you they were dating! and defeated no ways. 

You realized you didn’t care about what anybody might be seeing, which was a first for you. You’d always made sure everybody saw you exactly the way you wanted to see them. As he was the most popular guy in school, dating Park Sunghoon at once helped your reputation and put you on many girls’ bad side. But holding his hand, you felt as though there was some kind of barrier protecting you. You’d never felt so exposed and so safe at the same time.

You noticed Jay standing next to the gates, looking particularly antsy. He’d texted you that morning, saying there was something he wanted to tell you. Usually, you’d have stayed up, overthinking what that could be, but what with today being the day you’d announce yourself to the world (your school) as Park Sunghoon’s (fake) girlfriend, you had had other things to worry about. You gestured at Sunghoon towards Jay. Your friend only saw you when you were calling his name, standing right in front of him.

“Oh, hi, Y/N! I-” 

He immediately cut himself off when he saw yours and Sunghoon’s interlaced fingers. Embarrassed, you took your hand out of your fake boyfriend’s, opting for holding onto his pinky instead, not realizing that it was a much cuter action that made one boy’s heart flutter and the other’s fill up with sadness.

“There was something you wanted to tell me?” you asked with a small smile.

“Uh- yeah, but it’s not important, actually. We can talk about it later.”

“Oh, you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” He returned your smile, hoping to make the situation less awkward. It was very obvious he didn’t want to say whatever it was he needed to tell you in front of Sunghoon, which you had both understood.

Sunghoon spoke up. “Right, well I’ll see you in class, Jay. Y/N, I’ll walk you to yours.” And with that, he started walking, holding his friend’s gaze for a few steps. You turned back to look at Jay for a split second, trying to decipher what had just happened, but Sunghoon grabbed you by the waist, making you look up at him in surprise, and breaking Jay’s heart even further.

—

Once Sunghoon and you got to your class, you felt as though you were in one of those movies where the boy drops the girl off at her house after their first date. Except that this was in a crowded school hallway two minutes before the first bell rang. What you had in common with that girl from the movie, however, was that you were freaking out over what your boy was going to do next. In the car, you’d ended up agreeing to a kiss on the cheek, but you hadn’t realized it would be happening so soon.

As you two hovered around your classroom’s door, you looked at each other and giggled. Damn, you were selling this well. So well that if you could have ascended out of your body and looked at the scene as a third party, you’d probably have barfed all over yourself. 

You were still holding his pinky. You could tell he was too hesitant to do anything now that you had reached the classroom, and so you mustered all of your courage, stood on your tippy toes and softly pressed your lips to his cheeks. (You were pretty sure you’d heard gasps around you.) Your courage went as fast as it came, and as realization hit you, you quickly squeaked “bye, Sunghoon” and practically ran to your seat. The boy stood there for another second or two, hand going to his cheek where you had just kissed him. He walked happily to his own classroom, completely oblivious to the stares he was receiving.

Heeseung, Jiung and Sieun were looking at you in disbelief as you approached them. Sumin, on the other hand, looked like she had paid no attention whatsoever to the scene.

“Y/N,” Sieun teased in a sing-song voice. “Care to explain what just happened?”

“Don’t tell me you’ve actually managed to make the oh-so-great Park Sunghoon fall for you?” Jiung asked jokingly. 

You looked down in an attempt to hide your grin. You usually did that sort of stuff to appear humble when someone complimented you, but this time it was completely genuine. The mere thought of Sunghoon made you all giddy inside. “Um, yeah, he actually asked me to be his girlfriend last night.”

Your three friends gasped dramatically and Sieun pulled you into a hug, as if you’d just received an award of some kind. Heeseung and Jiung patted your shoulders, congratulating you.

“Sumin? Did you know about this?” Sieun enquired, turning to your friend.

“What? Oh, yeah, Y/N called me last night,” she answered, briefly looking at you before turning back to her phone. Sieun looked at you, surprised, not understanding Sumin’s reaction to what seemed like happy news.

You had indeed called Sumin the previous night, and the call had gone similarly to the way she was behaving this morning. Although you usually told her everything, this time, you didn’t want to share the fact that you and Sunghoon were only fake dating. You found yourself actually wanting it to be true - and you thought it’d be easier to believe it yourself if everyone, including your best friend, did too.

“Minie! I’ve got some news,” you’d said as soon as she picked out.

“Ooh! Hit me,” she’d replied with as much excitement in her voice as you.

“So…” you’d started, already giggling. “Sunghoon’s just asked me out. I haven’t told anyone else, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. After a while, you added, “Minie, you still there?”

“Huh? Yeah, um, that’s nice, Y/N, I’m happy for you,” she said, not sounding happy at all. There was no trace of excitement left in her voice.

“Yeah, thanks,” you replied, voice ten times smaller than a minute ago.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I’ve got to go, my parents are calling me. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She hung up suddenly, giving you no time to say bye in return. You were completely confused. Was Sumin bothered by you and Sunghoon dating? Other than a reminder about his past behavior, she hadn’t said anything when you two were getting closer. So what was wrong? You’d hoped you’d find out the next day at school, but the way she was acting didn’t help at all.

You snapped out of your flashback when Heeseung nudged you, faking a pout. “Not fair! Why did she get to know before we did?”

You forced a smile and said you’d known you’d see them the next day and thought it was better to tell them in person, and that you had just wanted to rant to someone quickly. Your teacher came in as the bell rang and everyone went to their seat. During class, you tried getting her attention so you could ask her if she was okay but she kept her attention on the teacher the whole time. 

After that, as time went by, you kept up your charade of being the perfect student as usual, adding to that of being the perfect girlfriend to Sunghoon. Time with him passed by so quickly: you hadn’t realized you were more than halfway through the semester until you needed to wear a thicker jacket outside and the leaves had started falling, covering school grounds in shades of brown. The plan had worked: he was finally left alone by his admirers. Sumin had stopped being weird after a few days, saying she had had some problems with her parents but hadn’t gone into more detail. Everything was as great as it had ever been: good grades, good friends and a good boyfriend. Well, fake boyfriend, which you needed to remind yourself a bit too often, on the days Sunghoon didn’t do it himself. You felt a pinch in your heart every time he said something like, “there’s my fake girlfriend!” when it was just the two of you, or “great job today, Y/N” after dropping you off.

One day as you arrived home, Yeeun was waiting outside your house, trying to catch you red-handed. She dragged him inside by the arm and you panicked, not wanting him to see how you lived. But your messy room and invasive siblings didn’t scare him off at all; on the contrary, he smiled one of the biggest smiles you’d ever seen on him, canines and dimples on display. Your mom made him stay over for dinner and it was probably the happiest dinner you’d ever had. The idea of bringing someone home and having them see your habits and odd family dynamics had terrified you for the longest time, but you felt so comfortable around Sunghoon that it felt as if he was part of your home as soon as he’d stepped foot inside. You didn’t feel the need to hide anything from him.

After dinner, he helped your parents clear up the table and even washed the dishes, even though they kept insisting he didn’t have to do anything. He had completely won them over. They sat at the table and watched you two laugh together in the kitchen. They looked at each other, knowing they were thinking the exact same thing: their daughter hadn’t looked this happy in a while.

When you were done cleaning up, you two headed to your room under the pretense of needing to study. 

“Alright, but keep the door open!” your mom had yelled after you, making you groan and Sunghoon’s face turn crimson red.

You really had planned on studying - there was a big test coming up and you couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. When you got your physics textbook out, Sunghoon groaned in protest.

“What? You seriously want to study right now?”

You sighed. “I don’t necessarily want to, no, but I need to. And so do you, may I add.”

“We’re not even in the same physics class!”

“Yeah, but we both have Mr. Cho, so I know you’re gonna have a test as well.”

He rolled his eyes and dramatically flung himself on your bed. “Fine.”

When he didn’t move for a few minutes, you guessed what he had meant was that he’d let you study but wasn’t going to do it himself. But after ten minutes, he suddenly got up. “I’m bored to death, Y/N. The test isn’t in another week. Show me what you do for fun,” he said, on the verge of desperation. It had only been ten minutes, but you felt bad having him over and not entertaining him.

“Well, I do have a Switch…” Sunghoon’s eyes widened in awe. “I guess we can play Mario Kart.”

He almost squealed in joy at that. You just chuckled at him, not knowing he was such a fan of car video games. 

“I’m gonna crush you, Kim. Get ready,” he said, already looking victorious.

You smirked, not wanting him to get his hopes up. “Oh, it’s on, Park.”

As expected of a pro player like you (on non-schooldays, you could stay up all night playing this game), you won every single round. Sure, he gave you a run for your money, but you always came on top. He took it surprisingly well, congratulating you each time. After your fourth win in a row, you wiggled your face in front of his with a devilish smile, as you couldn’t help but torment him a little. But he wasn’t smiling. At first, you’d thought he was finally getting mad he kept on losing; but then the proximity between you two hit you. You noticed his eyes flicker momentarily to your lips and had backed off immediately.

“Um, if we go for another round, I’ll go easy on-”

He cut you off by putting his hand on your cheek, making you turn to look at him. You’d daydreamed about this moment before, but you hadn’t imagined your heart beating this fast or the butterflies eating away at your stomach. He was now fully staring at your lips, and you couldn’t look at anything else but his either. Too scared to move an inch, you felt him get closer and closer, so close that his lips were almost on-

“Y/N, mom says it’s late and Sunghoon needs to- AH!”

Sunoo had walked in, eyes riveted on his phone until he looked up and saw you and Sunghoon suspiciously close to each other. Sunghoon practically leaped off of your bed in surprise and you flung a pillow over your face, not believing you had almost kissed Park Sunghoon but that your stupid little brother had ruined everything.

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” the culprit squeaked before running away. You and Sunghoon looked at each other. It was awkward for two seconds, then you both erupted in laughter. 

“Alright, guess I should get going then. Um, thank you so much for tonight. I haven’t had a family dinner in a while, and… Well, it was really nice,” he admitted shyly after you’d calmed down.

“Of course, Sunghoon. I’m sure my parents would love to have you over any time.”

You walked him to your front door, where you exchanged goodbyes and I’ll see you tomorrows. You watched him take a few steps, then turn back and jog towards you. He stood in front of you for a second, then leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You were too stunned to say it back.

—

After the almost-kiss, it felt as though something had changed between you and Sunghoon. The event had somewhat revealed your feelings: you both knew you wanted to kiss each other. But since those feelings hadn’t been acted upon, the transition from fake-dating to real dating couldn’t happen as smoothly. Well, it could, if you two stopped acting like idiots and told each other how you felt. But the author wanted to get a couple more thousand words in, so it had to wait.

You’d gotten used to Sunghoon’s little requests at school, but you definitely hadn’t anticipated a phone call at past 11pm on a Wednesday night. 

“Sunghoon? Why are you calling me so late?” you asked, groggy voice because of sleep. Since you woke up so early to get ready in the morning, you always went to bed around 9:30 to 10 p.m. Sunghoon was making you lose precious minutes of slumber.

“Late? It’s barely midnight, Y/N.” You groaned. “Whatever, put on some clothes and come outside! I’m waiting for you.”

“You’re what?” you whisper-screamed, suddenly feeling very awake.

“I’m waiting for you! Hurry up!” 

As always, he hung up without waiting for your reply. You couldn’t really turn him down anyway; although you were somewhat obligated, you had stopped seeing it that way and started doing things for him out of your own volition. 

Not wanting to get out of your pajamas, you just threw on a warm sweater, a scarf, some socks, and headed down the hallway on your tiptoes. Your parents weren’t the strictest out there, but you still didn’t wanna get caught sneaking out, and with a boy, at that. After putting on your shoes, you left your house, closing the door behind you as quietly as you could.

The late October night was a bit chilly, but you had wrapped up warm enough. Sunghoon was indeed waiting for you outside, wearing a denim jacket over his gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants. 

God, he looked good.

“Finally! Took you long enough.”

“Quit it, Sunghoon. Just tell me why you wanted to see me.”

“There’s a place I wanna show you. Come on,” he said, taking you by the hand. You felt tingles in your palm and fingers wherever his hand touched yours. How could something feel so natural yet make your heart race so at the same time?

“Are we walking there?” you asked.

“Yep, it’s not too far. We’ll be there in five minutes.”

Those five minutes felt like five seconds walking with Sunghoon. You chatted and joked around the whole way, not letting go of each other’s hand. You hadn’t even noticed you had reached your destination until he stopped walking.

“Here we are,” he said, facing the building, which made you turn in the direction he was looking.

“The ice rink? What are we doing here?” you asked, confused. It was 11:30 pm; surely, the rink would be closed.

“You’ll see!” he said, heading towards the entrance. To your surprise, he pulled out a key from his pockets and opened the doors.

“What? Sunghoon! How do you have a key to the ice rink?”

“I’m chummy with the janitor. I just need to let him know when I’ll be coming and he doesn’t tell anyone,” he replied, an easy smile on his face, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He led you first to the shoe rack, helping you find skates your size, and then to the benches next to the rink’s entrance. He knelt in front of you and helped you put on your shoes, doing the laces for you. 

He looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “I’ve never taken anyone here, Y/N. I know your secret, so I thought I’d show you mine.”

You didn’t know what to say, surprised at the sudden confession, so you just looked at him curiously as he took ice skates from his backpack and laced them up.

He stood up, turned to you and said, “Ready?”

You followed him to the doors leading to the ice. He stepped inside without a trace of hesitation, but you were much more doubtful about your ability to stand on the ice without falling instantly. He turned around and saw you looking helpless. He took your hand in his, helping you step onto the rink. 

“Don’t worry, Y/N. As long as I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Don’t let go of my hand, then,” you said pointedly.

Too focused on not slipping, you didn’t see his smile. “I wasn’t planning to.”

He helped you get your footing, skating backwards in front of you and holding both of your hands. After a few minutes on the ice, you got brave enough to skate on your own, and you miraculously managed to stay on your feet. However, after a while, your bravery turned to hubris, and you dared attempt a spin, resulting in you miserably falling on the ice, butt first. Sunghoon was worried for a second until he saw you laughing uncontrollably. You looked at him, wide-eyed, and said, “This is so much fun, Hoon.” You were so exhilarated that you hadn’t noticed the nickname slipping from your lips but the boy’s cheeks and ears turned redder than the bruise you had surely just earned yourself. Thankfully, if you commented on it, he could just blame it on the cold. 

He helped you up, and you skated on as if nothing had happened. This went on for another thirty minutes, you skating hand in hand and occasionally falling together (but most of the time, just you falling on your own). Sunghoon had been so nervous before bringing you here; he was scared you’d think his hobby was unmanly or lame, as he’d been made to feel. But seeing you have the time of your life, all his worries dissipated. This place was like a second home to him, and bringing someone into your home was always nerve-wracking, but he thought you fit perfectly in it. 

When you told him you were getting tired and wanted to sit for a while, you skated back together to the benches and he gave you some water from his bag. You sat in silence for a while, waiting for your breathing to come back to a normal pace. 

You broke the silence first. “So, why’d you take me here? Not that I’m complaining.”

He hesitated a second before speaking. "I used to come here all the time as a kid.” He didn’t look at you when he answered, keeping his gaze on his hands. “My mom would take me. She left us for another man the summer before middle school started. She left me alone with my asshole father.”

You let out a small gasp, not expecting such a confession. You placed your hand on his back for comfort and said, “I’m sorry, Sunghoon.”

He quickly glanced at you, a half-smile on his face. “Don’t be. Anyways, he had to somewhat start taking care of me now that my mom wasn’t there to do it.” He chuckled darkly. “I guess his idea of taking care of his son was forbidding him from doing the one thing he loved. He thought it was a stupid sport for a boy. He stopped all of my lessons and made me sign up for soccer, even though I hadn’t ever said I wanted to do that. I still came here from time to time, but I didn’t wanna risk getting caught. God knows what he’d have done if he saw me here.”

You weren’t sure what to say. You felt as if no words would be enough to express how his story made you feel. “I- it’s awful, what he did to you. No parent should ever make their child feel as though their passion isn’t worth it. If it’s any comfort, even though you were mostly helping me, I thought you looked ten times better on that rink than scoring any goal. And that’s saying something.”

He finally looked at you and grinned. “Thanks, Y/N.” He seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then continued: “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it, and I think that’s why it’s hard for me to open up to people and make lots of friends. I only trust Jake because I’ve known him forever and I can’t really get rid of him now,” he said with a chuckle, “and Jay, well, Jake took to him instantly in middle school so I guess I didn’t have a choice there either, and he’s not so bad anyway. The more people I let in, the more likely I am to get hurt. It’s much easier pretending I don’t wanna have anything to do with anyone than try. 

“I guess it’s also why I talked to you on that day. Sure, I ended up thinking you could help me with all those girls. But at first, when I saw someone like you, who looks like they have it all together, who’s actually the opposite in real life - no offense - it reminded me of myself. And I thought, maybe she’d understand. Which is why it was so easy to be myself around you.”

You took his hand in yours and pressed it slightly. “I’m glad you were.” You didn’t feel the need to say anything else, hoping it was enough.

“Now, your turn. What made you the person you are today?” he asked with a grin, trying to approach lightheartedly this heavy subject, which you appreciated.

“It’s all about making people think you’re someone else, isn’t it? Because, depending on who you are, they’ll treat you differently. I found that out as a kid, because I, too, have a tragic childhood backstory.” He gasped jokingly.

“It’s not as bad as yours, so sorry about that. Back in primary school, I already had this… attitude that I have today. I had quite the ego, and I didn’t want anyone doing better than me at school. I didn’t care about how I looked, if I was the prettiest girl in class or had the cutest shoes. I was the smarty-pants of the class, basically, and a lot of the kids teased me for that. But I also didn’t let myself get trampled over, and fought back, quite aggressively at that, so I was somehow the nerd and the troublemaker at the same time. I didn’t have the best reputation, but I did have a friend. Jay. Or Jongseong, at the time, before he got too cool for his real name,” you joked. “The thing is, I didn’t see him as a friend. Sure, I was only eight or nine, but I really liked him. And the day I was planning on confessing, I saw him hold hands with the prettiest girl in our class. So I never told him, and then he left for the US a few months later.

“During the time he was gone, I had a complete makeover and actually started caring about my appearance, especially when middle school started. So now I had academic validation from teachers, which I had craved since forever, and both female and male validation from all the girls telling me how pretty I was and all the guys liking me. The people who were in my primary school and went to the same middle school told them how I used to be, but nobody believed them, and if they did, they didn’t care, so everybody just gradually forgot about it. And I just got addicted to the validation, which is why I always studied harder and tried to be prettier, even when it turned into a complete lie. I thought that if I could make everyone believe I was perfect, then it didn’t matter what I was like in real life, so at home, I just let myself completely go. And even now that I’m aware of all of this, I still can’t stop.”

Sunghoon looked at you like you had just slapped him. “So, you used to have a crush on Jay?”

You looked at him in exasperation. “Seriously, Hoon? That’s what you get from everything I just told you?”

He smiled shyly. “Sorry. Thank you for telling me.” You sat there in comfortable silence for another few minutes, still hand in hand. Then, Sunghoon got up, grin on his face.

“Wanna see something cool?” You nodded at him, returning his grin. He headed back inside the rink.

You thought he was gonna show off by doing some fancy trick. But he started gliding on the ice, and you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He took long strides that looked as natural to him as walking. He spinned one, two, three times, and continued skating as though it was nothing. You were completely mesmerized. You already thought he was out-of-this-world beautiful, but his beauty was brought to another level when he skated. His elegant moves rendered you breathless. When he skated back towards you, you were looking at him with only awe and admiration in your eyes. 

After what he’d told you and what he’d just shown you, you couldn't help but get a little emotional. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as he’d stepped out of the rink, your arms around his neck and his naturally coming to your waist. Your hands came up to his cheeks as you leaned back to properly look at him.

“That was- wow. That was amazing, Sunghoon. Thank you for showing me.” You could see the gratefulness in his eyes. There was something else there, and whatever it was, you knew you were looking back at him with as much of it. It was only you two in the building, but it might as well have been the two of you in the whole world. 

All too similarly as in your room, his gaze went from your eyes to your lips, and you couldn’t help but mirror that. This was the perfect moment. You inched your face closer, letting him close the gap between you. Your lips touched and it was as if everything fell into place. The kiss was shy at first, neither of you sure what to do, your mouths moving at a slow but steady pace. But as your hands traveled from his cheeks, to his jaw and down to his neck, and you felt him sigh in the kiss, something unclicked in you, making you want more. You deepened the kiss, and he returned it with just as much force. Your right hand came to grab at the nape of his hair and his hands gripped your waist tighter. After minutes or hours, you broke the kiss in need of some air. Your eyes met again and you smiled at him, relieved it had finally happened. 

You thought he’d have a similar reaction, but he suddenly looked panicked. Realization hit him like a truck. He liked you. Far too much. And even if the kiss and these past weeks told him you might like him back, it scared him. He’d unlocked his heart for you but couldn’t let you keep the key. Otherwise, he’d let you open it more and more and more until there he was completely bare in front of you, and you decided you didn’t like what you’d found and left him. Just like his mom did. Just like everyone eventually does. Just like his dad never even tried.

He took a step back. His panic was rubbing off on you. You called out his name, but he quickly got his bag and said, “Sorry, Y/N, I have to go. I’ll um- I’ll see you.” He took a few steps, turned around, and said, “I think you should take the bus tomorrow morning. Sorry.”

He started walking away. A few steps before he’d be out of your view, he turned back around. He hated the look on your face, how sad, confused and helpless it was all at once. Above all, he hated that he was the reason behind it. But he told himself it was better to leave you now than be left in a few months when you got bored of him, and started walking again without another word.

—

You walked home alone. It was a dark November night, and you were shivering from the cold and from sadness. Try as hard as you might, you couldn’t figure out why Sunghoon had reacted like that. The past month had gone so well, you were only getting closer and more comfortable with each other. The only logical conclusion you could come to was that kissing you had made him realize he didn’t like you. Thankfully, you didn’t live too far from the ice rink and you got home in five minutes. Lost in your thoughts, you couldn’t even be bothered to be quiet closing the front door and walking to your room, and you woke Sunoo up.

At first, he looked like he was about to scold you for making so much noise; but upon seeing your disheveled state, he started worrying. 

“Y/N? What’s wrong, why are you only coming home now? Where were you?”

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. You fell in your brother’s arms and started crying your heart out.

He held you for a little while, but not wanting to wake the others up by staying in the hallway, he said, “Come on, let’s get you in your room. You’re freezing.”

He left for a few minutes and came back with two cups of tea in his hands. He joined you on your bed. You had calmed down a bit and took a sip of the tea, already feeling warmer.

“So, tell me everything.”

And you did. Not just about what had happened at the ice rink, but everything before that: how yours and Sunghoon’s relationship was fake, which you hadn’t even told your siblings, but that it hadn’t kept you from falling for him, and how you really thought he felt the same way. When you got to the part where you told each other about your stories, Sunoo grabbed your arm in surprise, and said, “I can’t believe you told someone about that. Good for you, big sis.”

You sat in silence after a few minutes when you’d finished telling him everything, you, still reflecting on your evening, and him, trying to think of something good to say. He took a deep breath, and started: “You know, this might be completely useless, but I feel like there’s no point trying to figure out why he did that. We’re not mind readers, and assuming things will just go wrong. I think the best thing to do is just ask him tomorrow, or whenever you’re ready to face him, really.”

You looked at your brother fondly. “How can you be so stupid sometimes, yet so wise right now?”

Sunoo and you talked for another minute, but when you yawned for a good seven straight seconds, you both agreed it was time for bed. Before you fell asleep, you told yourself that tomorrow morning, you’d find Sunghoon and make him be clear with you. You at least deserved that.

—

Heeseung and Sumin were clearly surprised to see you the next morning in the bus, but you told them you didn’t want to talk about it and they didn’t push, although it very obviously had something to do with Sunghoon. As you rode the bus and psyched yourself for your conversation with him, you had no idea he was currently in the midst of a heated argument with Jay. The latter pushed him with force, making Sunghoon’s back hit the classroom wall behind him.

“What the fuck did you just say about Y/N?” Jay asked, venom in his voice and fury in his eyes.

Despite the pain, Sunghoon smirked, wanting to rile up his friend even more. “I said, Y/N’s just as stupid as all the other girls. She probably thinks she’s so much better than everybody, but in the end it was so easy making her fall for me. It was almost boring, really, how easy she was.”

Jay pushed him again. “Don’t fucking talk about her like that.”

“Aw, little Jay is getting upset over his little Y/N? You sad that the girl you like actually likes an asshole like me?”

Jay hadn’t had many reasons to get angry in his life. This was making him discover another side of himself; he didn’t know he could get this angry. He didn’t know rage could fill up his veins like that and make him want to destroy absolutely everything around him, but above all, the person in front of him who’d he considered a friend all these years. On the verge of losing control, he reared up his fist, before Sunghoon said:

“You know what’s even sadder? She used to like you, too.”

His arm dropped. “What?”

“Yeah, in primary school. Didn’t you think it was weird how different she was before and after you left? Her little heartbreak made her change everything about herself just so that people would like her. And now all she can do is lie to everyone. I pity her, really. And to think that she thought I liked her. What an idiot.”

That was the last straw. Jay punched Sunghoon square in the nose, making him stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again. He held onto his bloody, and possibly broken, nose and looked Jay straight in the eyes, still smirking. Thinking his job was done (but not sure what the job was in the first place), he walked away, heading to the nurses’ station. The scene had gathered quite an audience outside. It was less than ten minutes to the first bell, so already quite a few students were there, but no one had dared to venture inside. Jake, arriving too late to prevent any damage, looked wide-eyed back and forth between Sunghoon walking out and Jay standing inside, fists clenched by his side and panting from anger.

Sunghoon barely spared him or anyone a glance as he left the room. What he did notice though, were a crumpled tuna-mayo sandwich and a banana milk on the floor, looking as though someone had dropped them.

What had he done?

—

You had already run back to your friends and were currently crying for the second time in twelve hours in Sumin’s arms. It was the first time ever you cried at school, and probably also in front of your friends, spare Sumin, so it was a curious sight to most; she took you to another room for privacy. 

There, you practically told her everything you had told Sunoo the night before, including the fake dating.

“Wait… so, you and Sunghoon weren’t actually dating?”

You nodded, embarrassed by your lie.

“I- Why didn’t you tell me, Y/N? How could you fool everyone like that?”

You looked up in surprise at your friend’s harsh words. You probably deserved them, but you weren’t used to hearing her speak in such a way, nor to the cold stare she was peering down at you with. 

“I don’t know… I’m really sorry…” you mumbled, ashamed.

She scoffed. “You should be. I just- I just don’t understand how you can already be living such a lie, and still add onto it. It makes me wonder how I’m still friends with you.” The bell rang right at that moment, and she got up, saying, “Let’s go to class. You wouldn’t wanna be late.”

You followed her, but you felt sick to your stomach. Usually, you could always hide your discomfort or sadness, no matter how bad your period cramps were or how serious an argument with your parents had gotten. But this time, it was too much, and fifteen minutes into the class, you asked the teacher to go to the nurse. Not used to you needing to leave class and trusting that it was for a legitimate reason, your teacher let you off and you quickly packed your bag and left. 

When you got to the nurse, you sat down in front of her and said you weren’t feeling well and wanted to go home. For the same reasons as your teacher, she said she’d let you but needed to ask you a few questions before about your general well-being. You answered them quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible and just go home. 

When you finally were able to leave, you only took a few steps out of the nurse’s office before someone grabbed your wrist, making you turn around. Sunghoon, who was resting in the room next door, had heard your voice and gotten up as soon as he’d heard you leave. His nose was covered in bandages and his eye had started swelling and turning blue, and you mentally thanked Jay. You ripped your arm out of his grip and continued to walk away without a word. You were too tired to argue.

“Y/N, please, hear me out.”

This made you stop in your tracks, but you didn’t turn around. “Hear you out? I’ve already heard enough, Sunghoon. No need to explain, you made it very clear what you think of me.”

You started walking again but he doubled you and blocked your path in the narrow hallway. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry, if you’d just give me a minute-”

“I don’t care that you’re sorry, Sunghoon! Sorry doesn’t cut it. I trusted you. Actually trusted you. You out of all people should know how hard it is to do that. Or was that a lie too?” Seeing him in front of you, your sadness retreated to the back of your heart and you were left with only anger. 

“It wasn’t, I prom-”

“That doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” You pushed past him and walked on. And this time, he let you go, even though the only thing you wanted him to do was make you stay. You so desperately wanted to hear him out and forgive him, but you knew you couldn’t do that. You had too much dignity, and it would only end up hurting you even further. 

So you didn’t shed a tear the whole way home. When you finally got to your bed, you didn’t have the energy to start crying. You fell asleep, tears quietly rolling down your face. 

—

You slept the whole day, waking up to a soft knock on your bedroom door. It was your mom, telling you Jay was here to see you. Everyone had been surprised to see you already at home when they came back from work or school, but they knew better than to wake you up.

“I’m surprised, you know. He’s gotten so handsome.”

You rolled your eyes at her. “Just tell him that I’m not feeling well and he should go home, please.”

“Oh, I’ve already tried to, honey. The boy is adamant on seeing you.”

You sighed. “Fine. Can you bring him here, then?”

A few seconds later, you heard another knock, and Jay opened the door just enough to peek his head through, asking if he could come in.

“Well, you’re already here, so might as well.”

You sat up and gestured for him to sit down on your bed.

He looked around, taking in the messiness of his surroundings. “You know, I thought your room would be much more… organized.”

“Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? I’m a big, fat liar who hides the truth from everyone,” you said sarcastically.

“About that… did you hear everything he said?” You hummed in response. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that, Y/N. I don’t know what happened to him. He’d never said anything like that about you, and then, all of a sudden… What an asshole. I can’t believe he was my friend.”

“Was? You shouldn’t end your friendship over me, Jay.”

“Are you kidding me? I can’t be friends with a guy who talks about anyone like that, let alone you.” After a few minutes of silence, he asked, “Did um- did anything happen, for him to say those things?”

You sighed deeply. “I’ve already told this story twice in the past few days, so I’ll give you the short version, but basically, we were fake dating, and I started really liking him, and I thought he did too, until we kissed, and he left me completely stranded, and then the next day I hear him say all those things.”

Silence again. You suddenly remembered something Sunghoon had said that you had completely put to the side: Jay likes you. At least, according to Sunghoon. You didn’t know if it was true, but judging by his disappointed face, it looked like it. Seemed like all of your friendships were going to hell.

“Oh,” he simply said.

“Yeah…” you murmured back. 

“Well,” he turned to you, “that just confirms to me that he’s an asshole. Cause no guy in his right mind would turn you down, Y/N. I know I wouldn’t.”

He looked straight at you as he said that. Yep. Jay liked you. It was a nice feeling, but it was also about ten years too late. 

“Do you- do you know what I’m trying to say, Y/N?” he asked, gulping.

You hesitated for a second before saying, ”I think I do, Jay. I have to say, your timing isn’t great.”

He chuckled a bit lifelessly. “Yeah, I guess right now isn’t the best time to say this.”

“I also meant, you know what Sunghoon said, earlier? That I liked you before you left for the US? That was true.”

He looked at you, mouth agape. “Oh, was it…” His head hung down in defeat. “I can’t believe I’ve been such an idiot. I feel like it’s my fault that Sunghoon hurt you like this. If only I’d been just a bit earlier…”

“None of this is your fault, Jay. Please don’t think that. It’s mine for thinking Sunghoon could actually like me back.”

Jay took a deep breath. “God, as much as it hurts me to say, Y/N, I think he did. Or does, actually.” You furrowed your brows at him. “Sunghoon, he has this thing where he goes into retreat mode as soon as he gets too close, too personal. It’s a stupid defense mechanism, and when he realizes he’s let you in a bit too far, he snaps everything closed and hurts you before you can hurt him. At least, that’s how he sees it, I guess. He’s done it to Jake and me a couple times, and it takes some getting used to, but he stops after a while. When he knows for sure that you won’t hurt him.”

You didn’t know what to do with this information, so you just stayed quiet, which Jay took as a sign to go on.

“I’m not saying forgive him. Believe me, if I could smack him into space and never let him see you again, I would. But I think maybe, just maybe, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, hear him out.”

You smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Jay. And I don’t mean just to me but to Sunghoon as well. I hope you know that.”

Jay tried to ignore the pinch in his heart at the word ‘friend’ and smiled back.

“Oh, there’s another thing I needed to show you.” His tone was suddenly much more apprehensive, and he looked both sorry and scared to say whatever he was about to say.

He pulled out his phone and searched the thing in question. Before showing you anything, he warned, “Nobody knows who did this. It was sent out to the whole school on a library computer-”

Expecting the worst, you snatched Jay’s phone from his hands. And there they were. Pictures of you from your primary school years, recent pictures of you in your comfortable clothes, at home or in close proximity to your house. Sent out to the whole school, as Jay had said. You were horror-struck. You could feel all the years you had spent perfecting your image and maintaining it crumbling around you as though they were paper. Charismatic smiles and trendy accessories had been your brick and mortar, but a sledgehammer had hit them, destroying your foundations further with each swing.

And that sledgehammer had a name: Bae Sumin. You’d figured it out in an instant. You’d been friends your whole life, she was the only one apart from your family to know about your true face; only she would have access to such photos. You knew it wasn’t Sunghoon because the pictures he had taken that day weren’t there.

If what had happened with Sunghoon had made a crack in your heart, then this had shattered it into a million pieces. The person who you’d trusted the most, who you’d thought would never do anything to hurt you, had done the worst thing anybody could do to you.

“Y/N- are you okay?” Jay asked tentatively. You had forgotten he was there.

“Um, yeah, yeah- I think I just need to be alone for now, if that’s okay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying a while.”

“Sorry, Jay, but I’m sure.”

He looked at you for a few seconds. He’d never felt more distance between you two, not even when you had been oceans apart. “Alright. Call me if you need anything. I mean it.”

You smiled a tiny, tiny smile in response and he left your room. On his way out, your mom hugged him, saying it was nice to see him again and that he was welcome anytime, and he thanked her.

As he walked home, he couldn’t help but bitterly laugh to himself. Even when he confessed, he hadn’t been able to say the words he’d wanted to tell you this whole time: I love you.

—

You didn’t go to school for the rest of the week, the only stain on your perfect attendance record. All of your friends had tried to reach you, asking if you were okay, and you replied in a few small messages, telling them you’d be back when you could. Other people had contacted you, asking if those pictures were real. You obsessed over your school’s gossip Instagram account: the past few days, all the posts had been dedicated to your pictures and Sunghoon’s and Jay’s fight. You had ten missed calls from Sunghoon and seventeen from Sumin. You ignored each and everyone of them, only giving Jay, Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung the time of day. 

On Sunday morning you woke up, already dreading going to school the next day. You could already picture the nasty stares and whispers you’d get in the hallways. You thought about facing Sumin and Sunghoon again, and you thought the worst thing possible would be to have to do it at school. So you decided to wait until they called you again, as you knew they would, and finally picked up their call.

Sumin contacted you first, at eleven in the morning. You agreed to have her come over to your house to talk. When she appeared at your front door, you realized you weren’t sad, angry, or disappointed; you were just confused. You didn’t understand why she’d done it. Looking at her face, you couldn’t imagine her sitting down at that computer and sending out those pictures, writing the comment This is what Kim Y/N is like in real life.

You let her in and walked to your room, your siblings’ eyes burning holes into her soul the whole time. You sat down on your bed, sighed, and said, “Go ahead.”

“Thank you for letting me come here and explain myself. I don’t know what took over me, Y/N. Well actually, I guess I do. Jealousy, as stupid as it sounds.” She chuckled at herself. “I’ve always tried to hide it, but I’ve always been a bit jealous of you, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl, the smartest, the nicest, and I’m just the best friend. That’s all anyone knows me as. Everybody loves you, yet I know it’s all a facade. And I’m not saying that to be mean, because I know you’re an amazing person even without all the glamor. And when I saw you with Sunghoon, I mean, you saw how I was. I didn't fight with my parents. I was so, so jealous. You hadn’t shown interest in any guy since Choi Soobin and all of a sudden you were dating Park freaking Sunghoon, and he knew about your quote-on-quote ‘real’ face, so I couldn’t even comfort myself that he didn’t know who you really were.”

“Wait- why would you be jealous of Sunghoon and me?”

She took a deep breath. “You remember, freshman year, when I confessed to him and he turned me down?”

“Yeah, but I thought that was in the past.”

“Do you also remember that guy I told you about later on, who I’d gotten really close with but completely shut me off when I thought we were about to start dating?”

Something clicked, but you didn’t want to face it. “Yeah…”

“Well, surprise surprise, they were the same person. Ha. I got mad at you for lying to me, but I did the same thing.”

“Sumin… Why did you never tell me?”

“I’m not sure. When we were in that talking stage, I could’ve bragged about it to anyone, you know, that Park Sunghoon was actually being nice to me, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep him my little secret. And then I confessed, and we all know how that ended.” A beat passes as she takes a deep breath, shaking the bad memory away. “I am over it, it was more than three years ago. Maybe there was a nice part of me that thought he had changed, because you seemed happy with him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. But maybe there was another part that hoped he might hurt you like he did me. And that’s such a shitty thing to do, I know. I should’ve told you when I saw you get involved with him. I can’t believe after all these years, he did the exact same thing to you that he did to me. What an asshole.”

You were staring at the wall in front of you, feeling empty. Why did everything have to happen at the same time? You were just drained of any willpower.

“This doesn’t explain the pictures,” you said plainly.

“Right. When you told me you were fake dating, I guess something snapped in me. I couldn’t believe it was another lie, I thought we had gone past the stage where you hid things from me. So that, plus jealousy, I just went a bit crazy, I think. I really wasn’t thinking, Y/N, and I promise you with all my heart that if I could go back and undo everything, I would. I’m so, so, so sorry. I regretted it as soon as I hit post.”

You looked at your friend and knew she was telling the truth. You believed her, and yet you couldn’t quite look past it.

“I know you are, Minie. It’s just… what am I gonna do now at school? Everybody must hate me.”

“I won’t lie, some people haven’t been saying the nicest things, especially Park’s fangirls. But God, Y/N, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but who cares? They’ll talk about it for a week, two at most. Your life at school won’t be the same, but you’ll still have all of us. I’ve talked to Heeseung, Sieun and Jiung, and they’re not the tiniest bit mad at you. They’re just worried to death. A bit confused too, but mostly worried. And you know what? Even Yujin, Wonyoung and Gaeul, who I’ve literally never talked to before, came to ask me how you were. Jay and Sunghoon are barely on talking terms but they always team up when it comes to practically verbally assaulting anyone they overhear talking behind your back. Jake has to hold them back sometimes but he always glares at those people too. You don’t wanna see Jake Sim glare, I promise you. It’s so scary,” she says in a confessional tone, visibly shuddering just at the thought of angel-faced Jake looking angry, and you can’t help the small chuckle that escapes your lips.

Her face softens as she places a warm palm over your hand. “We all love you and care for you so much, so screw literally every single other person in that school. They don’t matter.”

There was something refreshing about Sumin’s words. The idea that you could live your life without worrying about other people had always been in the back of your head, but you always told yourself you were in too deep to go back. Now that you had been forced to, you understood why you felt so empty: the immense weight of having to keep up a persona, had been lifted off your shoulders. You would only have to carry yourself, and not a second person, which made you feel weightless. You’d just have to get used to it and come to enjoy that feeling.

You took your friend’s hands in yours. “I want to forgive you, I promise I do. And I will. I just don’t know if I can do that right away. I’ll need some getting used to this new life.”

“I completely understand, Y/N.”

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. And you know what, I’m sure one day I’ll look back at this moment and thank you.”

—

Sumin left a few hours later and you were now waiting for Sunghoon to call you. You waited and waited, until your phone rang with a small ding: he wasn’t calling you, but had sent you a message. A very, very long message. You were very tempted to reply with a I ain’t reading all that. I’m happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened, but you thought it might not be the appropriate moment. 

You opened the message, which had come after thirty unread texts, and started reading, slightly appalled by the lack of paragraphing.

Dear Y/N, 

Is this how you start a long text? I would much rather be telling you this than writing it, but someone hasn’t been picking up my calls. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t be giving you much attitude right now. Where do I even start? The ice rink, I guess. Asshole move #1, obviously. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that. That kiss was really really good and I really really liked it. Because I really really like you. And I think I’ve known that for a while now, but the kiss confirmed it. And I was happy for a second, but then I panicked. There’s no other word for it, I panicked. I’ve never liked someone this much before and I was so scared. I still am. I’m terrified shitless. But I know that my fear is completely irrational, and that you’re literally the best person on Earth, which is why I’m writing this. I know it’s cliché to say my mom left me and now I think everybody will. And my first reaction to that is to hurt someone before they can hurt me, which is what I did. But as much as I wanna fight it, it’s always there at the back of my mind. You can even ask Sumin about it. Should I be saying that? I feel like I might as well. I was an asshole to her, and I’m so angry at myself that I did it again with you. I didn’t mean a single word of what I said about you to Jay. Not a single one. You’re not stupid, you’re the smartest and most amazing girl I know, and I never pretended I liked you, because I never had to. I think I just wanted Jay to punch me, really. I wanted him to run to you and make sure you were okay, because I was too scared to do that myself. But I regret doing that so much. I hope you know that. And bless Jay, he’s a real one. He told me to get my shit together and talk to you. I can tell he’s still mad at me but still wants to make things good between us. I was already trying to call you before he said that, but I probably would’ve said something stupid that would’ve made things worse. And I can’t afford that, Y/N, I really, really can’t. You get me like no one does and being with you is the most liberating thing ever, I’m never myself more than when I’m around you. You just bring out the best in me. Well, except for that thing I did. Which I promise I’ll never do again. I am so extremely sorry, and if you wanna hate me for the rest of your life, I completely get it. But I would also be very happy if you didn’t. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow at school. I really miss you.

Your Hoon

You wiped away the tears that had formed in your eyes and typed back:

You’re such an idiot, Park.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

—

The next day, as you imagined, was mostly hell. You’d decided not to dress up as usual: there was no point trying to look good after this, it would only make you seem more ridiculous. You put less makeup on, not bothering to hide your eye bags, and didn’t bling your outfit up with accessories or fancy shoes, opting for your worn-out Converse you’d had since your feet stopped growing. On the bus, where people usually ignored each other, you could already feel the gossip being told about you. You avoided people’s gaze like the plague and sat down next to Sumin. You laid your head on her shoulder and sighed.

“I already wanna go home.”

She laughed, “I know. We’ll be with you the whole day, so don’t worry.”

You spent the bus ride catching up on what had happened when you were gone (nothing much), and although there was some awkwardness there, it was nice being with your best friend. When Heeseung got on, he practically screamed your name and suffocated you by means of greeting.

“I’m so glad you’re back. You know, I think you look really cute in those pictures. All these people are just jealous they don’t look as good as you even when you don’t dress up.”

Sumin shot daggers with her eyes at him and he cringed, saying, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.”

You reassured him, saying that it was fine since it was all you were going to be hearing the next few days. “Might as well get used to it.”

It was somewhat easy to ignore the stares coming your way when you walked into school with Heeseung and Sumin flanked at your sides like bodyguards. When you reached your classroom, Jiung engulfed you in a hug and Sieun was almost crying. How the hell had you gotten such sweet friends? 

In the hallways, some people tried to get reactions out of you by calling you out, yelling liar! or you can’t fool us anymore. You couldn’t ignore them as they were very much in your face. When at lunch, a table of girls next to you was very clearly talking about you in the nastiest way possible, you took your tray and were ready to get up and leave, but a very familiar voice stopped you in your tracks.

“You think it’s funny talking about someone like that?” Sunghoon was practically screaming at the girls. “You think you’re any better than her? I bet you do the exact same thing but are just glad someone else got called out for it.” You weren’t sure if that made you feel much better, but you appreciated the effort.

“As a matter of fact,” he continued as he pulled out a chair and got up on it, his voice getting louder, “I’ve got something I wanna say to everyone.”

Somebody whooped (probably Jake) and you tried to get Sunghoon to come down from the chair, but he just smiled his radiant smile at you and turned to look at the students in the cafeteria.

“All of you who judge Y/N are hypocrites. You wanna tell me you’re all as perfect at home as you are at school? That you never relax a little bit? Sure, she pushed it a bit far- (hey! you grunted in protest), but nobody shows who they truly are to everyone. We all judge each other in this stupid high school, so Y/N did what she had to do and protected herself. If anything, this should make you respect her even more. And it’s not like she did anything wrong to you. She didn’t use her popularity against anyone, so you better not use this against her.”

From the crowded tables in the cafeteria, somebody yelled “Nobody cares!”

Somebody, whose voice you thought you recognized as Jungwon’s, joined in: “Yeah, what is it about you seniors and thinking the whole school revolves around you? We still like Y/N!”

Sunghoon, taken aback, simply said, “Oh. Alright. Well, you better keep it that way then!” and got off his chair. 

He turned to you, already a pleading look on his face and said “Y/N, I’m so sorry-”

But you cut him off right away. “I know, Sunghoon, I know. I think this proved it.”

“I really wanna make it up to you. So just tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. Buy you a house, move to another country, you name it. I’ll do it.”

You chuckled at him. “You don’t need to go that far.” You looked down, then back at him. “I think I just want to pretend like nothing happened. Like it was all a huge, awful fever dream. Even if I can’t forgive and forget right away, I don’t think I want you out of my life while I figure it out.”

He let out the biggest sigh you’d ever heard. “My God, you don’t know how happy to hear that, Y/N. Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for defending me just now. That was… definitely something.”

He smiled down at you. "I did my best. Too bad those sophomores ruined everything.”

You could feel eyes burning into your sides, so you turned your head a bit and noticed that your friends and the table of girls that had just been gossiping were staring at you, some of them teary-eyed. When they saw you notice them, they all turned back to each other and pretended that they were having some other conversation. You and Sunghoon chuckled, and you realized how much you had missed him.

Yes, Sunghoon and Sumin had hurt you, but you were a strong believer of second chances. Even if it was hard at first to stop thinking about Sunghoon’s voice when he had said those things or Sumin’s intentions when she posted the pictures, they’d made it up to you in any way they could and you’d reciprocated that by being completely honest. No more trying to look perfect all the time; you were human and were allowed to have low moments. Your grades even dropped by two points, because you’d started spending more time with your friends than with your textbooks. You’d spent whole Saturdays at the ice rink with your now real-boyfriend Sunghoon, and had invited the whole crew. Heeseung was surprisingly good at it. You had even caught your little sister Yeeun on a date with the cute Japanese boy she’d talked about. 

As promised, Jay came once a week or every two weeks to have dinner with your family; Sunghoon always insisted on being present. The tension between them had turned into friendly competition, and you could tell the two friends were glad to have each other back. 

You’d never felt so free. Your relationship with Sunghoon felt like uncharted territory and home at the same time; so daunting and exciting yet so comfortable and relaxing. You kept the PDA at a minimum at school, but when it was just the two of you, your whole body never failed to heat up, even in the cold of the ice rink. He had been nicknamed the ice prince, but he was so, so warm.

In the end, everybody found out. But you had Park Sunghoon by your side, so it was alright.

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— Lover | c.sc (M)

pairing ➳ dom!Seungcheol x sub!inexperienced!female reader

genre ➳ sugar daddy au, fake dating, strangers to lovers, smut, pwp, angst and some fluff. part of the Sugar Spice and Everything Nice project.

warnings ➳ okayy let's see, profanities, reader is shy and timid, she is also a simp, age gap tho it isn't mentioned, lying, insecurities, mention of terminal illness, dom/sub dynamics, explicit sexual content: multiple sex scenes, daddy kink obviously, kissing, a little degradation (slut), marking, big dicc! cheol, one tit slap, one spank, a little fingering, a lil clit biting? tit worshipping, male oral, choking, virgin sex, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it guys, this is just fiction!), forced orgasms, multiple orgasms, crying, creampie, seggs so gud she passes out, lots of emotions that needs to be addressed, Cheol is kind of an asshole at times?

word count ➳ 15.7k (grab your popcorn besties)

synopsis ➳ the worst first meeting and then an uncanny proposition is enough to cause trouble for you. you fall for a man who doesn't seem all that keen on returning your feelings.

playlist ➨ sugar daddy- queen herby // lover- taylor swift // power- ellie goulding // sugar- maroom 5 // tell it to my heart- meduza // guys my age- hey violet // tie a cherry- cl // only- lee hi // king of my heart- taylor swift // one last night- vaults // i fell in love with the devil- avril lavinge // i like it when you love me- oh wonder.

a/n: First of all happy new year guysss(even tho I'm late) and secondly, it's hereee!!! The first installment of Sugar Spice and Everything Nice is here!! I'm so excited, goshh. This is my first time writing explicit smut so idk how good it was (lemme know, wink wonk). For me it was hard af like I had no idea it was so draining to write smut??💀 Lmao anyways. Tbh when I thought of doing a sugar daddy fic, the first member I could think of was Cheol. I mean- HES A LITERAL DILF OKAY, he has the looks, the money, everything so ofc I had to do my first ever sg fic centering him. I hope y'all have a great time reading this and anticipate Joshua and Jeonghan's story which will probably take another couple months to be posted, sorry! Happy reading and I'll see y'all in hell( I can't believe I wrote this WTF 😀)

Your ass hurts.

It hurts so bad that you feel like the skin has come off and it has been set on fire. But that pain doesn't even come close to the fear and anxiety you feel right now as you watch the godly handsome man glare at you, his eyes shooting fire towards you like laser beams. His secretary or assistant or something dabs away at the stain on his pristine dark blue suit jacket with extreme caution; careful not to spread the stain further. The stain you just gave him.

In your defense, it was accidental but you aren't totally guilt free. You were too busy daydreaming about the man; the one currently sending daggers your way, to notice he was getting up from his seat to take his leave. Somehow your clumsy, pathetic self lost her balance and ended up tossing all the hot coffee that you were about to serve another table on him- mainly his suit while you land ass first on the floor. You are truly thankful that the man was wearing his suit otherwise he would have been burned pretty bad and by now you would probably be on your way to jail for burning somebody.

"Fuck! Stop it!" The man, also known as Mr. Choi bats the other man's hand away from his jacket as he takes it off, still glaring at you, probably cursing you too in his mind while you sit unmoving on the floor, stupidly gaping at him.

"Oh my god! We're so so sorry, sir!" From somewhere Tanz rushes towards the crime scene and helps you get up, while continuously bowing to the man in apology. "That was an accident. Please forgive us, sir. We'll pay for the dry cleaning."

"Forget it!" His voice booms, clearly annoyed as he mutters something to the other man who rushes out of the restaurant. "Do you know what you have done? How I could have been burned? I have a business meeting for fucks sake." He hisses at you while dabbing at the light patch of brown that has seeped on his crisp white shirt from the jacket.

"I'm sorry," you whisper meekly, head hanging low in shame, cringing at yourself. Way to make an impression. Tanz is about to say something but the man speaks again, this time directed at her, "If this is how your employees treat their customers then you should probably think about hiring new ones." He snaps before turning on his heel and marching out of the place.

The hushed chatter returns as obnoxiously rich people stare at you and gossip while Tanz pushes you towards the kitchen. "Wow. So you like spilling coffee on men that you like? Is that your way of telling them that you are interested?" She raises a brow at you making you flustered. "I swear, it was an accident! I just- slipped somehow...I'm so sorry."

She sighs, rubbing her forehead. "It's okay. As long as he doesn't file a complaint about us. And if he doesn't do that, be sure he's never coming back. He doesn't wanna get his pretty face burned next time." Tanz jokes but you don't really find it amusing.

Mr. Choi has been your harmless crush for a while now, well he definitely was harmless until now. He's one of the regular customers here, showing up almost everyday whether to have breakfast or to grab a cup of coffee. He always leaves the most generous tips which are a given for a billionaire like him. You have seen his face on magazines and the internet before as he is a hot topic of discussion because of his extreme success at a young age. Not only is he blessed with extremely good looks but he also doesn't lack intelligence and pairing it up with his communication skills and straightforwardness, he has managed to build an entire empire fairly young. And you just spilled hot coffee on someone like him.

Tanz takes pity on your traumatized state and lets you go home early, where you crawl under your blankets and try to wipe the cringy memory off your mind. You can only hope he does the same.

Sitting here, waiting for the stranger to appear is nerve wracking. Well, he isn't a complete stranger if you consider the messages you exchanged with him over the past week.

You still can't believe you signed up on a freaking sugar daddy website and then started chatting with some dude who you have no idea is real or not and now you are here, waiting for the said dude at a cafe. This all truly feels surreal now. Sure, the man seemed fun and nice over texts but you have no idea what he looks like and if he truly has the capability to be a sugar daddy. In his profile, it said his name is Scoups and his age is 32. That's all you know about the man you are going to meet. You don't have any idea what he looks like because his profile picture was rather vague, a capture of his silhouette rather than his profile.

He had asked if he could meet you in this cafe last night and thinking about all your accumulating bills, you said yes. He even specifically told you where to sit, the third table from the entrance by the window. Now you sit here tapping your foot nervously, contemplating your decision and waiting for the man to show up. You can't even look for him and only hope that he manages to recognize you from your profile picture.

You're so engrossed in your thoughts that it takes you a while to realize a man is standing in front of you. Peeking up to look at him, your heart almost lurches out of your chest at the sight. Mr. Choi stands in front of you in all his glory, a confused look on his face as he judges you with a raised brow. Your throat tightens.

"Wha- what are you doing here?" He's incredulous. You get nervous for no reason. You fiddle with your hands as they flail wildly and blurt out, "I- you told me to c-come here. We- we have been talking through that website-"

"What the fuck are you saying? I was supposed to meet some investors he- wait a second!" Some sort of revelation flashes across his eyes as he clenches his jaw and tightens his fist. You half expect him to start throwing punches but instead, he yells, "Fuck! Yoon Jeonghan!" He grits his teeth as he produces his phone from his breast pocket and quickly dials a number before walking away, leaving you completely bewildered.

You sit there as minutes pass by, baffled at the situation. Out of all people, he had to be your match? Or maybe it wasn't him. God, you're confused. When you are sure he has left for good and you should too, he reappears at your table, an annoyed look resting on his face.

He sits down on the chair across you with a disturbed grunt, before undoing the button of his jacket and releasing a deep breath. You sit there frozen, too nervous to speak or move, only watching the beautiful man in front of you rubbing his temples. He begins, "I have to clear things up. This is a setup, done by my dear friend. He was the one who you have been talking to on that website. He set me up to this, saying that we were meeting some investors. I had no idea I was gonna meet a...sugar baby." He mutters dryly, undoubtedly displeased with everything. Dumbly, you whisper, "I'm sorry."

What are you even sorry for? Oh yeah, spilling coffee on his jacket.

He lets out a mirthless chuckle, "It's really ironic meeting you. God the confusion I felt when I saw you sitting here." He shakes his head at the memory as you grow more embarrassed. "Anyway, I think we're done here. Sorry to let you down but if you want to meet my friend I can give you his number." His tone is dismissive as he prepares to leave but stops in his tracks when a ping comes from his phone. He opens the device to check the text and a frown settles on his face upon reading it. He sits still for a while, staring at the screen while you do the same, waiting for his next move.

And it surprises you.

"On a second thought, I don't mind being a sugar daddy." He announces as he gets comfortable in the chair again and you gulp, wondering what that text said that made him change his mind so quickly. Silently, you wait for him to elaborate but he doesn't, instead starts scanning you top to bottom. You grow flustered under his scrutinizing gaze, shuffling in your seat as you wonder if he likes what he sees or feels repelled. It's probably the latter.

"I have some specific demands that need to be met. One, if I'm being precise. You do that and I pay you generously."

You swallow. "What is it?"

"I need someone to show up with me on family functions and other events. You see, my family has been pressuring me to find a significant other and me showing up with a girl will really keep them off my ass." He states, getting to the point immediately as you sit there, processing his words. His proposition sounds almost unreal, too easy. He continues, "I'm willing to pay whatever your requirement is. If you agree, then I'm gonna prepare a contract which will carry all the details of this arrangement." He sounds so formal like he's doing business which in a way, he is and his authoritativeness makes you stumble over your words as you gather your thoughts.

"I...I don't mind I guess. I have loans to pay off so...I'm willing." You whisper. In the back of your mind, you wonder if this means you have to get physical with him, which you definitely don't mind but the thought makes your throat dry. As if he can read your mind, he speaks, "Don't worry about sex. I'm not looking for anything physical. But if you are willing then we can. However, that is not a priority. We can take it one at a time." His bluntness makes your face burn as you nod timidly, looking away. When you offer nothing more he sits up straight. " Well, then, Miss ____, I take it you're willing?"

"Yes." You nod. "Good. My secretary will contact you soon. We can meet up and discuss the contract." He throws a professional smile at you, a pleasure-doing-business-with-you-with-you smile as he fishes out his wallet and pulls out a couple of hundred dollar bills. To your utter surprise, he pushes them towards you. "Thank you for your time." Is all he says before he stands up and marches away, leaving you to sit there shocked, horrified even as you stare at the bills sitting on the table.

Two hundred dollars?

For what? Like twenty minutes? Is this what it feels like to be a sugar baby? Half of you feel ashamed while the other half feels giddy as you reach for the notes. You have to put your pride aside if you want to pay off your loans and accomplish your dreams. Also, it's not like this is illegal or you begged him for this. He willingly gave you two hundred dollars! With a soft smile on your lips, you put the notes in your purse and head home.

A couple of days later, true to his words, Seungcheol's secretary calls you, letting you know that his boss wants to have dinner with you and go over the contract. Due to the occasion, you take out the best piece of clothing you own; a mid-length black evening dress with a sweetheart neckline that hugs your body nicely and pray that it makes you look decent and presentable. Seungcheol is kind enough to send his car to pick you up and take you to the restaurant.

When you arrive, Seungcheol is already there, waiting for you in one of the private dining areas. Dressed in a grey suit and pants which are a little crinkled right now, it is evident that he had a long day. But somehow, he manages to look perfectly put together and attractive, his intimidating aura ever present. "Good evening, Miss ____."

He greets as he sees you enter and with a shy greeting, you quickly sit down opposite to him. The room is spacious, designed with wood and minimalistic decorations as a table sits at the center, surrounded by a couple of chairs. Seungcheol pushes the menu resting on the table towards you. "Order whatever you please. Then we can start discussing the contract."

So you do that quickly as the waiter arrives and pours some champagne on your glasses. As a means of easing your nerves, you quickly gulp it down.

"Now, since this is a contract, I expect you to be completely honest and tell me if you aren't satisfied with anything. This won't work if you don't tell me your worries," Seungcheol begins, pushing the written contract towards you. Tentatively, you pick up the piece of paper. "I've listed my requirements here. You can add yours if you have any. And if you disagree with any of these then we can discuss it." He states, leaning back on his chair and taking a sip of the bubbling drink. You can feel his eyes burning into you as you read over the contract and you are pretty surprised over its simplicity.

They don't contain many clauses, just a few; none of the parties are allowed to have any other relationships while in this contract, prices are negotiable if they do not satisfy the sugar baby, sexual relationship is not a must but it can be initiated with the consent of both parties and lastly, if any of the parties want to break off this arrangement, they can do so without any questions asked. You set down the paper with a hum and Seungcheol asks, "Okay? Would you like to add anything?"

"No, I think this is fine." You say, making him nod and fetch a pen from his pocket. "You can always add something later if you feel like it. I want this to be beneficial for both of us. This way, we both get what we want, don't we?" Nodding, you scribble your sign at the bottom of the paper, next to his. You feel like you have done something huge, something that will change your life and it will. He is literally your sugar daddy now. Which reminds you.

"Oh, thank you for that money...that day. You... didn't have to do it, really." You whisper. Seungcheol shrugs, his tone bored, "I'm your sugar daddy, aren't I? Besides, you were scammed in a way. Only felt right to compensate you. Jeonghan says he's sorry, by the way." Biting your lip, you nod, unable to come up with a reply.

"Okay, now." Seungcheol puts his hands on the table, his serious gaze making you squirm in your seat. "My parents are hosting a charity event this weekend. And you will be accompanying me."

"This weekend?" You let out an unceremonious gasp. He raises a brow, "Yes. Do you have plans? I will pay you handsomely." The mention of money makes you flush as you quickly shake your head, "No no! I just- I wasn't expecting it. I mean it's in two days and I don't have any time to prepare my dr-"

"Everything will be taken care of, ___." He pins you down with his gaze. "You just need to show up. I will have a pair of stylists and make-up artists at my place this Saturday. You can get ready there."

"O-okay. Thank you." You mutter, feeling a little intimated.

"Good." Seungcheol smirks. "Pleasure doing business with you, Miss ____."

After that, there's a pause in the air as dinner is served and you both start eating in relative silence. "I did some background check on you. You're a business major, I see." Seungcheol states somewhere between the dinner. "Yes, I am." You speak.

"You have quite an excellent score. Why don't you come to my company for an internship." The idea is enticing but you are already in a rather special relationship with this man so the idea of him being your boss too isn't really the most pleasing. It is true that you are preparing your résumé for some internships as you need money to pay off your loans as the diner's pay isn't helping with too much. "T-thank you for your offer, Mr. Choi. But I don't think I will." He raises a brow at you but doesn't speak further, instead sips the champagne. "You are not interested in an internship?"

"I- I was but not anymore. I mean, with our new arrangement," heat flares all through your face "I-I think I'll keep working at the diner and save up. I actually want to open my own shop." You whisper, confessing your dream to him suddenly making you shy.

What does he think of you? Is he judging you? Laughing at you?

"What shop?"

"A flower shop," you breathe, looking at your lap. He's silent for a while before nodding, "A flower shop, huh? Interesting." He muses and you cringe inwardly thinking he's probably laughing at you. Before you can stop yourself you explain, "You see my mother used to have a garden when I was young. I really liked watching her tending to the garden with so much love and before I knew it I started to do the same too. She loved roses, half of our garden was full of them. I just...I don't know, I want to work with flowers." You don't know why you are blabbering about this to pretty much a stranger and you half expect him to roll his eyes and say whatever but you watch him nod, almost understandingly.

"That's great. We'll drink to that. I hope you can open your shop soon." He raises his glass and you quickly grab yours, clinking it with him, whispering a 'cheers'.

It has been two months since that night and God, your life has turned completely upside down. If someone said this was gonna be your life a few months back, you would have flipped them off but lord, it is. You have attended quite a few events with Seungcheol in the span of the last couple of months and after each event, the amount that was dropped in your bank account was mind boggling, almost filthy. You have once tried talking to Seungcheol about it, saying he did not have to pay that much every time but he just shrugged and said that's what you deserve for giving him your time. And you certainly can't complain.

With the current flow of cash, in just a few weeks you can finish paying all your debts and actually start working on setting up your shop.

Other than the obscene about of money, there are gifts. So much of it that bags of Channel and Dior and Gucci and Louis Vuitton and Prada lie around your apartment now because after every party you attend with Seungcheol, he lets you take home the expensive dresses and shoes as gifts. You have tasted the most luxurious wines and champagnes, tried a variety of delicacies, rode cars worth a million dollars and whatnot. It has been an overwhelming but also a learning experience as you got to experience how the filthy rich people lived. And it is easy to get used to because coming from a struggling family, when you have diamonds and rubies on your neck and fingers, you truly can't complain too much. But every now and then you tell Seungcheol to take it easy and tone it down just a little.

Seungcheol, right. The man who is now at the center of your universe. He's an enigma, just like gravity as he keeps pulling you closer and closer yet leaving you unsatisfied. You don't really know what you expected Seungcheol to be but it's definitely not this. He's attentive and respectful but also very professional. While this sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship may sound really intimate to others, it's nowhere near that for the two of you. It's fair to say you are extremely surprised at how Seungcheol keeps his distance and never tries to initiate anything with you.

You have been playing the role of Seungcheol's arm candy slash companion, nothing more or less. So far you have attended four events with him, the first one being his family charity. His parents surprised you, in the best way. While you expected them to make rude comments and judge you down to your pores, they were welcoming and chatty and easy to get along with, like the rest of his family. His mother was the life of the party, talking and laughing and drinking nonstop, her vibe a lot younger than her age.

After that event, you attended two more office parties, followed by an evening party taken place after Seungcheol launched another new business. That night is the most unforgettable as you were flocked with paparazzi coming at you from all directions and throwing questions left and right. However, Seungcheol handed them efficiently, shielding you from the blinding flashes with his large frame as he answered the questions for you. He has always made sure that you felt comfortable and always made you feel included in conversations. And for someone with a soft heart like yours, his attention and politeness towards you have increased the teeny tiny crush you had on him to tenfold.

How can you not like someone as charming as him? Sure, he has kept you at an arm's length, never sharing anything too personal with you nor asking anything personal about you but the sight of him in a suit, engrossed in his work, his ring clad fingers massaging his temples is enough to make you forget everything and fall for him harder. Seungcheol pays you to show up with him at events and while you were first interested in luxurious parties and fine dining events, you've soon lost interest in them; now too busy gawking at Seungcheol. The events now bore you but you certainly aren't complaining when you get to be by the side of a man like Seungcheol.

The way he shows up in expensive suits, tailored just perfectly and free of a single crease and the way he brushes his slicked hair back while talking or the way his adam's apple bobs when he sips champagne or the way his biceps flex when he buttons his suit is good enough to drive you insane. Simply speaking, it looks like you've got it down bad for someone who is clearly not interested in a relationship. You remember asking him about this on the way home after one of his parties.

"Why don't you just...date?"

Your question catches him off guard by the look on his face as he raises a rather judgemental brow at you. Flustered, you're about to apologize for being nosy when he sighs. "Too much work."

"Huh?" You blink at him. "Dating. It's too much for me. I've seen people around me fall in love and then fall apart in the worst ways and I don't want to be like them. I'm not ready for commitment or the effort and responsibilities that come with a relationship only for it to end and cause me headaches. It feels like a burden to me."

"Oh." You murmur. "But it could be fun too. If you find the right person, I mean." Your voice fades into a whisper. A small unamused smile rests on his face. "That's the thing. Finding the right person. I don't think there is someone like that. At least for me."

"Well, you never know until you search." You speak wondering why the hell you are pushing him to find love. Maybe because deep down that's what you wish from him, to love you. Seungcheol stares at you for a while, your eyes not leaving his as you watch the city lights reflect in them. The moment is broken when a frown mars his beautiful face as he snaps, "Well. As I said, I'm not interested."

His rejection definitely hurt you but you didn't have time to dwell on it because the next day Seungcheol announced that you would be accompanying him to Paris this weekend for a two-day business trip. The news came out of nowhere and smacked you on the face but you were too excited to complain how short of a time he gave you to prepare. Seungcheol dealt with all the paperwork work and a few days later you were accompanying him to Paris in his private jet.

It has been a couple of hours since you have landed and checked into the hotel suite. Seungcheol is currently taking a shower as you stand on the balcony, watching the Eiffel tower in the distance as the dusk fell.

You are still in the process of processing that all this is real and you are truly in Paris, staying in a fucking penthouse suite which unfortunately or fortunately has two bedrooms because Seungcheol claimed he didn't want to make you uncomfortable, sipping a wine whose name you can't even pronounce. All thanks to your dear sugar daddy. The word still feels foreign on your tongue and you haven't called him that out loud but oftentimes, your mind wonders if he'd like to be called that in bed. You are yet to find out if you have a daddy kink which seems like it won't happen soon given how professional Seungcheol has been with you.

Your wandering thoughts come to a halt as Seungcheol appears from the bathroom, half naked, just grey pajama pants hanging low on his hips and you almost choke on your wine. Making a quick excuse you dash to the bathroom, seeking shelter from the defined, absolutely perfect muscles all over his chest and abdomen. This sugar baby thing is proving to be a lot harder than you thought but hey, at least you are getting paid enough.

The next day Seungcheol meets his business partners in an early breakfast meeting as you get your beauty sleep in the fluffy white pillows and blankets. Later that evening you prepare for the after party as you put on a champagne colored silk evening dress, another luxurious purchase by Seungcheol. With your makeup done, you are putting on your earrings when Seungcheol pads into your room, dressed in the finest white suit you've ever seen. There's a white turtleneck underneath it and a Chanel brooch pin rests on one of the lapels of his collar. His hair is styled back in a rather messy way as the smaller strands lay scattered on the sides of his forehead and you have this terrible urge to run your fingers through them. He simply looks delectable.

You watch him with bated breath for a while before his voice brings you back to reality. "Are you finished?"

"Yeah, um, I just need to put my shoes on," you reply fumbling for your pumps. Seungcheol watches you for a second, his eyes scanning you top to bottom before he gives you a soft smile and steps out of the room, leaving you to finish getting ready.

This party is like every other, men talking about capitalist things and women showing off their jewels to each other. You sit on a chair by the long table full of sweets and fruits, helping yourself with a piece of strawberry as you sip on the rose champagne and watch Seungcheol converse with his business partners. Well, he stays silent mostly while the men surrounding him talk and this is the first time you have seen Seungcheol look so disinterested. His eyes keep wandering around and often landing on you and when they do, he holds his gaze, eyes boring into yours even though he's on the other side of the room. As you finish your strawberry Seungcheol excuses himself from his friends and stalks over to you. "Boring, isn't it?" He raises a brow at you.

"I'm surprised to hear that from you." You send a teasing smile on his way. He laughs softly, "I know. I'm kind of regretting making them partners. They just don't know when to shut their traps." He sighs, grabbing a champagne flute and finishing it in one go. "Well, would you like to leave then?" You ask. "Now?" He frowns. "We haven't had dinner yet."

You shrug. "We can just have it back in the hotel if that's okay with you." Seungcheol seems to ponder that idea for a second before he reaches out for your hand, surprising you. "Let's do that. I've had a long day." Nodding you follow him, your hands linked with his as you excuse yourselves from the party and head towards Seungcheol's limo.

Tonight the air between the two of you feels different, charged with palpable tension. Seungcheol, who only have ever touched the small of your back or pressed the slightest kisses on your temple as a public display of affection has been keeping his hands a lot more on you today. Like right now.

His hand rests on your thigh casually as you sit next to him on the limo, your heart thudding loudly when he absentmindedly starts stroking the flesh. You take a tentative look at him, his eyes focused outside, his brows furrowed a little. His face is so close to you, just mere inches apart and you can even count his beautiful, long lashes. And you have this insane urge to kiss every inch of his face, press your lips against him and feel the softness.

Your body seems to take matters into its hand as you feel yourself move and press your lips softly against like sharp jawline. Seungcheol is pleasantly shocked as he turns to face you, the hand on your thigh tightening. Holding your breath you watch him, waiting for him to react. He does by cupping your cheek, dark eyes watching you closely. And then he leans closer, pressing his lips on your cheek before trailing down towards your lips. He then stops and observes you for a while, his warm breath kissing your face, the heated desire in his eyes making your heart race.

And then he presses his lips on the corner of yours gently, as if testing the waters. Your soft gasp and tightening hold on his jacket ease his worries as he attaches his lips to yours softly. He takes his sweet time kissing your lips as you sit there frozen, the fact that this is happening stunning you. When he gently prods his tongue into your mouth you grab his jacket, breath hitching as fireworks spread through your body.

Perilously you kiss him back, hands snaking around his neck as he somehow shifts you onto his lap. Your heart rings in your ears loudly, thrilled to finally, finally taste the man you have been utterly besotted to.

He tastes like pure luxury, fine and deep and obsessive leaving you moaning for more. He removes his lips from yours to trail them down your neck, starting from your jaw as soft gasps leave your mouth. You throw your head back once his lips meet your sensitive spots and half unconsciously you start grinding yourself against his thigh. You seem to have lost your mind, your brain overflowing with some sort of horny hormones probably because your period is coming or because of the unfairly sexy man underneath you. However, your passionate moment is hindered as the car comes to a halt making you snap out of your reverie.

Face heated, you scramble to get off his lap while he lets you, an unaffected look resting on his face as if he didn't just eat your face. Getting off the car as fast as possible you march inside the hotel and go straight for the elevator. Seungcheol follows you close by and after one awkward, full of tension elevator ride later you reach the suite and as soon as Seungcheol unlocks it, you almost make a beeline for your room, too ashamed to face him after your little make out session. But his voice stops you in your tracks.

"Did I make you uncomfortable?" He asks suddenly, his face solemn. The sincerity in his tone makes you feel a little guilty. "No!" You signify. "I just- um, I really liked it but I'm afraid you didn't and I crossed a line or something..." You trail off nervously, eyes low in embarrassment. He watches you amusedly for a while before stepping towards you and tilting your head up with a finger.

The proximity of his body next to yours paired with his scalding gaze have your knees shaking but you swallow and meet his eyes. "Trust me, you didn't cross any line." His deep voice reverberates as he leans closer, his lips a breath away from your ear. "I liked that a lot, in fact." He whispers, trailing his lips from your cheek to your earlobe as he softly bites the flesh. Your hands clutch on his jacket tightly as you mewl, legs shaking. You can't believe how embarrassingly wet you are from one makeout session.

"Wait!" You speak, making him step back immediately with a frown and you hate how you miss his warmth. You don't want him to get the wrong idea so you keep your hands on his jacket as you look down and whisper your embarrassing truth. "I- you should know...that...I've never done this before. I'm- I'm-" you can't bring yourself to finish that sentence so keep your head down in shame, scared that he's gonna back out now. For a moment nothing happens and you feel like disappearing into thin air, before he cups your cheek and guides your face up.

"That's okay. What I need to know is," His eyes darken visibly, turning into pools of lava, "Do you really want this? Do you want me?" He utters, his lips a breath away from yours. "Y-yes, I do." He didn't even touch you but you are already gasping for air, the thoughts of him corrupting you sending shivers down your spine.

Watching you for a beat he leans closer and attaches his lips to yours, gently at first. When a soft, pleasured gasp leaves your mouth he grows bolder, pushing his tongue inside and claiming your mouth once again and biting your lips to the point it's swollen. The kiss is raw, filled with molten lust as he somehow manages to guide you both towards the master bedroom your lips always connected to his plump ones.

When you both stand in front of the huge bed, you almost lose your balance due to your lust-riddled brain but he is quick to grab your waist rather roughly and pulls you close while his other hand ventures downwards, groping your ass. He kisses you until you are breathless and then pulls back to look at your already fucked out state, your doe eyes watching him with so much eagerness.

"Beautiful." He whispers, eyes on your swollen lips that are parted just a little.

With a gentle hand, he reaches for the straps of your gown and lets them fall off your shoulders before his hands dance on your back, tugging down the zipper in a smooth motion. He steps back just a little bit, waiting for you to step out of your dress and shyly you do so. The dress doesn't let you wear a bra so your bare breasts are exposed to the chilly air, making your nipples harden immediately. You're about to cover yourself out of shame when he grabs your wrists. "Don't." Is all he says, his voice gentle yet commanding and you nod vigorously like a puppet.

He begins by pressing kisses on your shoulders and then your breasts as his hands work on massaging them simultaneously. He takes one nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting and torturing it with his tongue until you are arching towards him with a moan and bunching the sheets in your fists. "You are so beautiful when you moan for me darling, don't stop." He mouths with a cheeky smile before doing the same to your other breast, all the while watching your reaction and you are so lost in sensations that you don't realize he has taken off his suit jacket sometime while pleasing you.

Then he stops for a moment, pushing you back into the pillows behind you and sitting on his knees as he takes off his turtleneck. His body is truly a sight for sore eyes, chiseled abs all over and you have this urge to kiss every inch of his porcelain skin. Smirking at how you ogle him he then reaches for his pants, tugging them off too. Left in his boxers only which shows a clear outline of his hard length, you can't help but mewl out a please. Your desperation makes him cockier and he decides to tease you a little further.

Leaning down, he presses sweet kisses on your belly before going down, eyes connecting with yours every so often. He kisses your covered core once before tugging off your panties and tossing them aside, making you gasp and without a delay he spreads your legs open, staring at your core. You feel your whole body heat up with embarrassment and you want to close your legs but you can't because of his strong grip. It frustrates you how slow he is, too busy eye fucking you and enjoying your neediness. Throwing the sexiest smirk at you that has your pussy leaking, he leans down and attaches his lips against your core.

You almost scream bloody murder.

His mouth moves expertly against your most sensitive spot as he messily sucks and laps at your core. Your hands fist on his hair as you almost arch off the bed when you feel his warm tongue prodding at your entrance. "Fuck! Daddy!" And the word leaves your lips somehow which makes Seungcheol stop his ministrations on you. He leans back to look at you and you are so embarrassed you hope that the bed would swallow you up.

You're about to open your mouth to apologize but he says, "What did you call me?" His deep baritone has you gushing again as his smoldering eyes pin you down. "D-daddy." You whisper. "Good. Scream that when I make you come." The confidence and authority in his voice are enough to almost make you come as he dives back in with renewed vigor.

He's merciless, prodding your hole relentlessly with his tongue, alternating sucks and nips on your clit. It sets fireworks all through you and you feel the coil in your belly starting to tighten in pleasure. "So fucking good baby. You taste so sweet." He grunts, face pressed against your mound and his words paired with the lewd sight between your legs has your cunt throbbing.

Soon enough you find yourself on the precipice of an orgasm which washes over you when he gently nips your clit before giving it a harsh suck. You scream as you hurl down an orgasm, your first, real orgasm as Seungcheol holds your shaking body down.

Before you can even come back from your high, he continues, kissing your pussy aggressively while adding a finger and then two and the sudden stretch in your tight hole has you coming again in mere seconds, this time your orgasm stronger, setting your nerve endings on fire as you scream his name.

He sits back once done, a satisfied smirk on his face as he watches you twitch underneath him, vision q little blurry. He makes a show of licking his lips which glisten with your arousal before leaning down by supporting himself on his elbows and capturing your mouth in a passionate kiss. You moan, tasting yourself on his tongue and the filthiness of his act sends a new rush of arousal through your body.

"Do you want me to continue?" He asks and though his concern warms your heart you can't help the groan. "Yes, yes! Of course." You almost yell. Chuckling at your enthusiasm, he moves back and rakes a hand through his hair. "Well, then, if we're gonna do it, we have to do it bare because I don't have a condom with me. But I assure you, I'm clean and I'll pull out." He says, his eyes focused on your face to catch any hint of hesitation and honestly, you don't give a fuck. You'll do just about anything to have his dick inside you right now.

"I'm on the pill so I'm fine." You pant, reaching for him to pull him close. Smirking, he grabs your wrists midway and pins them above your head. Lazily he whispers in your ear, "If you want me to fuck you, you're gonna be a good girl and keep your hands to yourself. Understand?" You answer him with an enthusiastic nod but he isn't satisfied as he lands a sudden slap on your tit making you squeal. "Yes, daddy! Yes!" You heave for breaths, pussy throbbing as his rough treatment.

Once happy he works on removing his boxers and when they come off you almost drool, mouth hanging open at the sight. His cock is utterly beautiful, long and thick and heavy as it bobs in the air. Your pussy clenches around nothing as you swallow, thinking about how deliciously it's gonna stretch you, if you can even take it in the first place.

"Like what you see?" His tone is smug and you can only nod. He gives your pussy a few rubs, spreading your arousal before lining his cock up to your entrance, intense eyes watching you as he whispers, "Deep breaths baby. Tell me if it gets uncomfortable, alright? I'll stop immediately." You can only nod, grabbing his biceps for support as you feel his tip entering followed by some inches and just that feeling has you on the brink of exploding. Sharp pain and pleasure surge through you but what steals most of your focus is how incredibly full you feel. Your breath hitches and you tense up as he gradually pushes in, mewling, "Ah- s-so b-big."

Above you Seungcheol grits his teeth as he keeps pushing inside steadily and you wonder just how big his cock is when it finally stops and you let out the breath you were holding. "Alright?" Seungcheol asks. You nod your head taking in a couple deep breaths, pulling him closer as an indication to continue. And he does. Lazily he pulls back until the tip of his dick rests inside you and then he thrusts, so hard that you scream out loud as he hits that spot inside you. "Fuck, you're so tight." He sounds choked.

"Oh god!" you're wail, head full of bliss as your mouth hangs open in pleasure. The ethereal sight of him on top of you, sweaty, full of lust has you moaning and clenching. You wrap your arms tightly around his strong back, nails digging onto his skin as he increases his pace. "Feel good? You want more, little girl?"

His words make you gush around him. "Yes! Yes, daddy! I want more. Give it to me!" You whine deliriously, clinging onto him. He grunts, doubling his pace if that's even possible. You feel like you are gonna break into two, in the best possible way as he keeps hitting your sweet spot that has you moaning like a whore and you feel your orgasm approaching.

"Keep screaming my name. Who's making you feel this good?" He hisses in your ear, thrusting erratically. "You daddy! You! Seungcheol! Please, I'm gonna cum!" You mewl.

"Oh yeah? So easily? Cum then. Milk my cock dry." He bites your earlobe as one of his hands reaches down to circle your clit in tight motions making you shudder violently. You feel like you are gonna burst and you do actually. The coil in your belly snaps and with a raw scream of his name you come, pussy spasming erratically. Seungcheol hisses on top of you as he feels your arousal coat him but continues his ruthless pace, his thrusts so deep the bed shakes.

He's merciless, continuing his torture on your clit even after you come and oversensitivity settles. "Seungcheol, please..." You gasp, unsure what you are even begging for. "One more. You can do one more," he huffs before whispering, "Where do you want me to come baby?" He pants, hands rubbing your clit tirelessly.

"Inside! C-come in me, daddy!" You're delirious, the thought of him filling you up sends your body into overdrive as he pinches your clit, making you come once more with a scream of his name. The orgasm ripples through you like tsunami waves, shaking your whole body and making your toes curl as your fingernails dig into his back. He comes with you, warm spurts of his seed filling you up continuously, so much that some of it leak out. The warm feeling of his release inside your pussy and his sweet sucking on your neck is the last thing you remember before passing out.

When you return to earth it's morning and your whole body hurts. The sun filters through the silk curtains, making you squint as you struggle to sit up. The ache between your legs is ever present, making the memories of last night flood back in. At that thought, you look around the room only to see no signs of Seungcheol. Is he gone for a meeting? The bedside clock reads 9:05 am.

Damn, how long have you been passed out for? You didn't even have dinner last night. At the thought of food, your stomach growls and you scramble to get out of bed, awkwardly moving your legs after the treatment Seungcheol gave to your pussy last night. The thought has you feeling flustered as you pad outside of the bedroom and find Seungcheol sitting on one of the dining chairs, a newspaper in his hands.

A soft gasp leaves you as you didn't expect to see him. He looks up and the corners of his lips turn upward just slightly, "Hello there. Good morning."

"G-good morning," you fumble with the hem of your (his) shirt as you stand there awkwardly, face and neck heating up with embarrassment. "Sleep well?" He asks, his tone almost teasing and you nod shyly. "Good." He folds the newspaper and stands up, fixing his t-shirt. "Take some medicine. I'm sure it hurts. Was I too rough last night? You literally passed out on me." Refusing to meet his eyes, you only shake your head no and mumble out an apology. He steps towards you and lifts your face up with a finger. "Don't be. Did you have a good time?" The sincerity and integrity on his face steal your breath away. "Y-yes, thank you." You breathe, hypnotized by his eyes. He nods and steps back, announcing. "Have breakfast and get ready. We're gonna go for sightseeing today."

"Oh? You don't have any meetings?" You can't hide the astonishment in your tone.

"No. We're in Paris baby. And it's your first time. It's a shame if we leave just like this." He says as he puts on his watch. "I'll be downstairs. Take your time." He sends a smile your way before stepping out of the suite and despite the ache all over your body you move around quickly, excitement bubbling over.

The day is spent driving around in Seungcheol's Porsche as he takes you to visit museums, cafes, stores and whatnot. You return home in the evening with hands full of bags from luxury brands and tonight you two crash into bed early, both of you exhausted from running around all day. Tonight you sleep next to him and he doesn't comment on it, probably because he passes out the second he lies down and soon you do too.

After an early flight the next day, you return home with too many gifts and unforgettable memories and a fat wad of cash in your bank account. Then you fall back into your daily routine, morning at the diner then attending the flower decoration class and then back to home. Seungcheol seems to have fallen into his busy routine too as he hasn't asked you to come over for the past week and the texts from him have been short and simple. Though his lack of attention hurts you a little bit, you push that feeling down and go on with your life. Seungcheol had suggested to you some plots for your shop and you start looking into them, deciding on which would be the best for you.

One Thursday after your flower decoration classes, you text Seungcheol, asking if you can meet him. It has been a while since you saw him physically and can't stop yourself from reaching out to him first. When his text says he's free in the evening, you bounce up and down with giddiness.

You arrive at his penthouse a little after 8. Seungcheol opens the door soon after you ring the bell, his hair damp and you can tell he's fresh out of the shower. He smells so good, fresh and minty and you have to stop yourself from hugging him. In the back of your mind, you wonder how great it'd be if he was your boyfriend.

Get it together.

Smiling from ear to ear you greet him. "Hi! I hope I'm not disturbing."

"No, it's fine. Come in." He steps away as you walk inside and get rid of your coat.

"Would you like some wine? I've asked the chef to prepare dinner for us."

"Oh, sure. And you didn't have to do that," you say bashfully as you sit on one of the breakfast stools and rest your hands on the marble countertop. You watch as Seungcheol moves around the kitchen, the thin t-shirt not really hiding his buff figure. His biceps flex as he unscrews the wine bottle and you swallow. He looks more muscular than the last time you saw him and you wonder if your mind is playing tricks on you.

Sliding a glass of wine towards you he sits on the opposite stool, brushing a hand through his hair and fluffing it. "How have you been? I've been really busy the past week."

"Yeah, I'm doing good. My flower decorating lessons are almost over." You take a sip of the cool drink.

"Good. Have you looked into the plots I suggested?" He takes a sip of his wine. For a distracted moment, you gape at his jawline and how his adam's apple bobs when he swallows. "Uhm, y-yeah. They're all really nice." You whisper, looking away. He nods, finishing his wine. "Take your time. When you decide on one let me know. I'll take care of your paperwork."

"Thank you," you smile before reaching for your bag that sits beside you. From inside you pull out your gift for him, which is the main reason you wanted to see him today. "This is for you. I made this today," you whisper shyly as you push the bouquet of dried flowers towards him. They are a combination of dried pink and red camellias, white clovers and red roses, all tied together with a white satin ribbon. Seungcheol raises a surprised brow at the present as he takes it in his hand and examines it.

"They are dried flowers. They'll last forever, you know. You don't have to take care of them." You explain nervously.

You shouldn't really be giving this gift to him. Last forever? Why would he want to keep something from you forever? You have let your emotions get the best of you. You want him to have something that'll remind you of him after all this is over; that is if he actually keeps this stupid gift. Chewing on your lower lip, you watch him anxiously, hoping he'll be blind enough and just accept it as a simple gift.

"Thanks. They are beautiful," he comments, setting the flowers down on the counter and you let out a breath of relief.

That night after dinner and too many glasses of wine you end up in Seungcheol's bed where he claims you as his own, all over again. You scream his name on the top of your lungs and by the time dawn rolls around, you're passed out completely. When you wake up in the morning, you find yourself alone in his large bed and a note resting on the bedside table, telling you that there is breakfast if you want and to check your bank account.

Sure enough, there is another new load of cash when you open your banking app, the amount staring back at you almost tauntingly. Accepting money from him has started to become harder and harder and you know very well you won't be able to continue this for long. You also know very well that Seungcheol will let you go without any questions asked but that's the problem. You want to stay. With him. Even if this is the way you can. You always end up feeling cheap and filthy at the end but you don't have anyone to blame but yourself.

A couple of days later you accompany Seungcheol to yet another evening party, dressed in a teal gown and pearls in your neck and ears. It is boring like every other party and Seungcheol seems to feel it too. He sticks by your side mostly instead of entertaining his business partners who, you have noticed, does a poor job of keeping their lusty eyes off of you. You have overheard one particular Mr. Wang asking Seungcheol about you and if he's willing to share. The look Seungcheol sent his way made him look like he was about to piss his pants and after threatening to cut off all business ties with him, Seungcheol stuck by your side and hasn't left since.

"Should we just leave? Let's eat at my place. We can order whatever you like." Seungcheol offers and you are quick to agree. Getting to be with Seungcheol alone is something you can never refuse. Especially if that means you can leave this dull party.

And so you head home with him, picking up dinner on the way which you share over a nice bottle of Dom Perignon. He talks about his upcoming plans and you talk about your schedules regarding your shop as you finish dinner. Then the conversation dulls down as you both enjoy the wine in comfortable silence.

You sip on the drink and take your sweet time watching his beautiful profile, burning the image deep into your memory. From his thick brows to his long lashes, his structured nose and his plump pink lips and his adam's apple, you ingrain every detail into your mind.

Maybe it's the overflowing amount of alcohol in your blood or the fact that you are deeply, madly in love with him which you once again realized, that you speak the words. "You're such a great person, Seungcheol. Whoever you marry is gonna be so lucky." Half of you can't believe you said that out loud and how utterly smitten you sounded.

He stares at you for a moment, contemplating your words before responding, "Thank you, ____. But I don't think that'll happen anytime soon, if ever."

"Why not?" You whisper, tracing the rim of the wine glass with your fingertips. The fact that he once again is denying any thoughts of marriage or love hurting you. "You're such an amazing person. You're smart, talented, passionate, hard-working-"

"Yeah but that all gets dumped by the amount I make." Seungcheol frowns. "At the end of the day, money and power is everything, is it not? If there's a scope to get even more of that, they leave, no matter how passionate or smart you are." His tone sounds mocking, almost.

"Not everyone is like that," you remark, even though you feel like a hypocrite. The relationship you have with him is solely based on money. Sure you said yes to being his sugar baby because you were in need but also because you always found him attractive, not because of his money, just because of him. And he sure as hell wouldn't just date you in a normal way so to get a taste of him, to get a touch of a luxury like him, you said yes because that's the only way someone like you can have someone like him nearby. "There are people out there who will love you just because of you. Not because of your money or anything else."

He raises a brow at you, almost challengingly, probably indicating your relationship with him. You can't help but cringe in your seat.

"Hmm, I doubt that. Take my father for an example. He was whipped for my mother. At first, he thought she loved him equally, maybe she did but it'd all change after I was born. She'd be too busy for us, for me, always outside, shopping and splurging and meeting men half her age. But even after all that my father forgave her, didn't push her away. And that angers me more. Why would he do that to himself? It doesn't make any sense. My mother used him."

At the mention of his mother, your mind brings up the images of her at their charity event, her bubbly and outgoing persona dominating the crowd. She wasn't like how you expected someone her age to be but she didn't seem like a neglectful or a bad person either. But who can say how what happens behind closed doors.

"That doesn't mean you will end up like that too." Is all you can whisper, hoping to bring him some solace.

"You sound awfully sure and I'm not sure if I like that." His eyes narrow on you as his demeanor starts to change. His voice turns cold and you feel like there's suddenly a wall between the two of you. But your alcohol riddled brain keeps going on, "Maybe I am. Because it is true. Everyone's lives are different. You may not end up like your father. You just need to open your heart-"

"You should stop," he interrupts you, his icy stare boring into you. You watch him like a lost puppy as he abruptly stands up, to leave this conversation you assume. You do too but not for the same cause.

"Why are you so stubborn!" You can't stop yourself from accusing him. You sound desperate and pathetic and hopeless even to your own ears but you continue. "Don't you see what an amazing man you are? That there are many who'll kill to be by your side not because of the baggage that comes with you but simply because you are a wonderful person! Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Why do you deny yourself the happiness you deserve?" You're yelling at this point, tears brimming in your eyes as you two face each other. His eyes blaze with anger and you can literally see him fuming when he hollers, "Remind me since when my business became your concern!"

You scowl at him, clenching your fists, anger seeping into your veins. This is so stupid. You hate how desperate you are and you hate how right he is. This truly is none of your business. Seungcheol seethes, "If we are to continue this relationship then you need to know your place. Otherwise, it's better if we just part ways."

A tear streaks down your cheek as you feel this aching void starting to form in your heart. You find yourself whispering, "I am in love with you, Seungcheol. I just...love you."

His eyes widen, alarmingly. There's a look of disbelief on his face. He almost looks betrayed, like you did the worst possible thing to him. Considering how he despises love, that is probably true. In silence, you two stare at each other as you wait for him to say something, do something. He clenches his jaw and then rakes his hand through his hair frustratedly before blowing out a loud breath.

"I think you should leave ____." His voice is quiet, extremely so. It's barely audible but you hear it loud and clear. His eyes lack any emotion and you know he has once again put up his walls, like many times before. Still, you stand immobile in your spot for a while, soaking up his words, the realization that this is over for good washing over you.

He's done with you and now he's showing you out the door. And you can't do anything to protest. You've lost your voice. So with one last longing look at his beautiful face, you grab your purse and coat with a shaking hand and carry your slumping body towards his door. He doesn't say anything, do anything and you don't look back, channeling all your energy into getting out of here instead of collapsing in front of him

As soon as you step out of his building a gust of cold air hits you on the face. You stand there in silence, letting the cold wind numb your face, the same feeling blooming in your heart. You shiver slightly as you stand like a statue, staring hard at the ground. The past few months that you have spent with Seungcheol wash over you like huge tsunami waves and you feel overwhelmed and pathetic and broken. You are wrung out of your self pity when you feel droplets of water fall on your head. Looking up, you see the roaring dark sky and within seconds, it starts raining.

How perfect.

It definitely suits the mood, making you feel like you are the protagonist of some angsty romance drama. Oh how you wish you were that instead of a pathetic fool who yearns for a man who doesn't give two shits about her. With a sigh, you pull your coat around you tighter and start to take heavy steps, your beautiful gown dragging behind you. You feel out of place, all alone and pitiful in an area full of houses worth millions of dollars. The streets are empty maybe because of the rain or maybe because people don't walk in this neighborhood. Laughing humourlessly at your pathetic state you continue walking until you are out of that neighborhood, far, far away from him.

3 MONTHS LATER

Running a shop is harder than you predicted. Especially when you have customers coming in every now and then. This may have something to do with valentine's day which is in a few days.

Your last two days consisted of working till your back was about to break, greeting customers and preparing bouquets for them, shipping them and so on. Your business has been doing really good. It has been almost two months and you are surprised at the progress you have made. People seem to love your shop and you have made a fair amount of regular customers. At this rate, you need to hire a part-timer because it is becoming quite impossible to prepare hundreds of bouquets by yourself.

You have named this shop after your mom, who visited on the opening day with your dad. Tanz visited too and treated you to a meal later that day. Though you don't work at the diner anymore, you still hang out with her every often as she gossips about whatever the rich people are up to. It took you a while but you told her everything about Seungcheol, from start to finish. She had an outburst after hearing your story, calling him all sorts of names.

You agree with her but not completely. It isn't his fault if he doesn't feel the same way you feel about him. Sometimes you think you pushed him too hard and it was completely your fault but other times you believe you did the right thing. That stubborn man needed to address his issues and frustrations.

You haven't seen his face nor had any contact with him after that night, and you're partially glad. You don't know how you can handle seeing his face when you haven't gotten over him. A part of you probably never will. You still remember him, all the moments with him so vividly as if it happened yesterday. When you lie in your bed alone at night you can almost picture him right next to you, his arm wrapped around you, his scent surrounding you. You should probably get your head checked for that.

Other than the pretty constant thoughts of Seungcheol lurking in the back of your mind, life has been pretty good. Well, it certainly was until now, when dear life decided to smack you on the face and bring back your misery.

Seungcheol stands at the door of your shop, a confused look resting on his face once his eyes land on you.

It was a busy day, full of customers and now that the night had fallen you were preparing to close for the day when this man showed up out of nowhere. He stands there, watching you while you do the same, the pen in your hand about to break from how hard you are clenching it. Looking at his outfit, you assume he has come here straight from work, dressed in a dark blue vest and pants, his suit jacket resting on his arms. His hair is a little messy, in the sexiest way possible. Your simping brain almost wants to forget everything and run into his arms, as if you are seeing your boyfriend at the end of a long day.

How pathetic.

Seungcheol clears his throat, somewhat awkwardly and you snap back into the painful reality. He stalks towards you, eyes scanning around the shop as you stand frozen in your spot.

"Do you have red roses?" He asks, standing in front of your booth. You grit your teeth.

Why does he need red roses? Who is he saying I love you to? Shit, tomorrow is valentine's day. Looks like he's got a date. The thoughts float through your mind and you hate yourself for how jealous you feel.

"Yes." You reply looking towards the said flowers. Seungcheol speaks, "I'd like a fifty of them in a bouquet."

You have to stop yourself from frowning. Why the fuck is he buying fifty roses? More like, who the fuck is he buying them for? Putting on your best professional smile you nod, preparing a receipt. "That'll be 22 dollars." You move to prepare his bouquet quickly, half of you wanting to give him the withered roses.

Gosh, when did you become so childish?

Hastily wrapping it with a ribbon, you push it towards him. He grabs it and examines the bouquet for a while before saying. "Thanks. Nice shop, by the way."

Is he doing small talk now? You refrain from rolling your eyes. "Thanks." You mutter lamely, eyes on your desk. Seungcheol stands in his place for a few breaths, amplifying the tension in the room as you pray to God to just get him out of here. Him standing so near you, a faint whiff of his cologne tickling your nose is too much to bear and you are losing your sanity. It also doesn't help that he has bought roses for some stupid girl, from you.

The audacity of this man. Is he doing this on purpose? Maybe not if you consider the shocked look on his face when he first entered.

"Well, have a good night." He says in a form of goodbye and heads towards the door.

"I thought you didn't do love. Yet you are here, buying a bunch of roses for valentine's day, it seems, Mr. Choi." It takes the frown on his brows and his rather judgemental stare for you to realize you just said those words out loud.

Gosh, could you appear any more pathetic? You sound like a jealous ex, which you are kind of.

He regards you with a perplexed look as you pray for the ground below to open up and swallow you whole to save you from this embarrassment. Seungcheol lets out an amused noise, "Well, thank you for reminding me. These are, in fact not for any lover. But now, I would like something else too actually, for them." His eyes are taunting, watching you closely for your reaction as he steps back towards you. "Do you... perhaps have some salvias? In blue?"

You can't believe how this situation backfired on you. Now he's really buying blue salvias for his lover. Real nice. You just gave him the chance to rub it all over your face. With a loud sigh, you force a smile. "Yes, we do."

"A bouquet then, please," he smiles, sarcastically almost. Huffing you grab those poor flowers aggressively and hastily put them in a bouquet before accepting the money. "Thank you for your visit. Have a pleasant night." You motion him towards the door with the fakest smile, desperate to be left alone and he takes mercy on you. With a nod, he briskly walks out of your shop and you sink down on the floor as soon as he's out of sight, letting out a huge breath of relief.

You know very well that life comes with surprises. Still, some surprises are too hard to comprehend like the one happening to you right now. You stare at the bouquet of blue salvias sitting on your countertop which was just delivered, half wondering if you are dreaming or hallucinating. The note that came with it sits crumpled in your hand as a try to wrap your head around it.

Happy Valentines. I think you know what these flowers mean. If you do then could you do me the honor of joining me for dinner? At my place tonight, if that's okay. I feel like we should talk.

— Seungcheol.

I think of you. That's what blue salvias mean. He thinks of you? Is this some sort of joke? You have been trying so hard to get over that stupid man but now this puts you back to square one. You feel like ripping your hair out. Should you go? You and the whole world knows knows how obvious the answer is but you still try to think about it, knowing very well what the result will be.

Of course you'll go.

Seungcheol is fairly perplexed when he opens his door to see you that evening. "____-....I didn't really think you'd come."

He looks like he just got home, still dressed in his crisp white shirt underneath his unbuttoned vest and matching grey slacks. It doesn't help how he has rolled his sleeves up to give you the perfect view of the veins in his arms. One look at them and you almost forget what you're here for. Averting your gaze, you cough. "Yeah." He steps aside and you walk into his house, the memories immediately flooding your senses.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Silently you pad towards his living room as he speaks behind you. "You should have told me you were coming. I would have called the chef-"

"Seungcheol," you cut him off with a sigh. "I'm not really here to have dinner. You and I both know that." He watches you for a while, his face emotionless before nodding with a sigh. "Would you like some wine? Whiskey maybe?"

"I'd like to keep my head clear, thank you." You murmur, sitting down on his couch. The place is as pristine as you remember, nothing out of place. As if no one lives here. Seungcheol disappears from your view, probably pouring himself a drink as you hear noises from the kitchen. A minute later, he returns, a glass of whiskey in his hand as he sits on the sofa opposite to you.

You're glad that he keeps his distance.

"I have a lot of explaining to do, right?" He chuckles dryly, taking a sip of his drink. Mutely you watch him as you don't trust yourself to speak now. You actually don't trust yourself with anything right now as being remotely close to Seungcheol always tends to mess with your head. It's better if you just stay still and melt into the background.

With a loud sigh, Seungcheol sets the glass down on the center table and leans back into the sofa. "I don't know where to start. Maybe with the roses I bought yesterday. They were for my mom, actually. I visited my parents last night. My mom is sick. They are suspecting it's cancer."

All thoughts of staying silent fly out the window when you hear those words. "Oh my god," you whisper. "I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head dismissively. "Anyway," he starts. "The past few months have been hard but educative for me. Maybe because I'm finally dealing with my shit or whatever. I had a lot of time to think. About what you said. About me, my life. About everything. You see, it's like a habit to be an asshole and shut people out when you're scared and you hate yourself." His eyes are focused on the glass in front of him, no emotion whatsoever in them and you feel goosebumps.

"I don't know how I ended up like this but I've been hating myself for the longest of time. Maybe it was because of my mom's shitty habits and how she hurt dad when I was younger. Or maybe because she never had time for me. Or maybe because never in my life I've met a person who loved me unconditionally, who was ready to give everything up for me. Everyone surrounding me chases money and that scares me. So much. I'm scared that I'm nothing without that. Without my reputation or power. That if I open myself to someone they'll get what they need and then leave, like they always do." He blows out a long breath, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I'm scared of love because I've never experienced it and I've seen people do horrible things in the name of it. I'm scared the same will happen to me once I open my heart." His voice is quiet as he trails off and reaches for the whiskey to finish it.

The breath you have been holding until now finally comes out as you watch him, your heart thudding loudly in your chest. You want to hold him and tell him that it's okay, that you're here but you seem to have become a statue as you only sit and drink in the beautiful, pained man in front of you.

"That being said, I'm sorry for how I treated you," his voice seems foreign as he grits those words out and you realize this man probably has never apologized to someone in his lifetime. "You didn't deserve that. Everything you said hit too close to home so I pushed you away as a defense mechanism. But I missed you, still do. More than I'd like to admit. I keep thinking about you, about how my world seemed to be a little brighter with you. And I keep regretting what I did. I'm sorry and...if you are still interested in me, I'd like to have you back. I'd like to try again, really try this time because I-... I think I love you."

It's a wonder how he manages to keep his voice so stable and emotionless. Like he is briefing a new company strategy and not expressing his love for someone. But don't focus on that because you can see how he's still holding himself back, holding his emotions back. And it's something that needs to be worked on but that's for another time.

This man just said he loves you. This stubborn, egoistical, too handsome for his own good man just confessed to you.

You feel like you are on cloud nine. But you don't have the time to rejoice as Seungcheol stares at the ground blankly, probably overthinking once again while waiting for you to say something. So you get up from your seat and walk towards him, before kneeling right in front of him, your hands resting on his knees. "Oh Seungcheol," you softly call for him.

His eyes meet yours as you cup his cheek softly with a hand and for a brief second, you see his eyes shine before they get lost underneath his blank gaze.

You gently pull his face downwards while inching yours closer to him and press your lips against him faintly. You try to kiss him as gently as possible, as if you are kissing his broken soul. He remains still to your touch for a second before cupping both of your cheeks and kissing you back earnestly. This is the first time Seungcheol kisses you with so much need and passion, like this is the last time he'll ever kiss you. Your lips mold against each other perfectly but he doesn't go too hard, instead just kisses you, soft and slow. You pull back to see the desperation in his eyes and you realize that you still haven't given him an answer.

"I still love you, Seungcheol. Of course I'll try again with you." You croak, your voice choked up with all the emotions. This time you clearly see his eyes glisten and the faintest of smile kiss his lips. But he only breaths, "Thank you, ____."

You smile at him sweetly, "You're welcome, Seungcheol. But I need you to be honest with me if we want this to work. Don't hide from me, Cheol." You whisper, the nickname falling from your lips easily. He observes you in silence before closing his eyes and nodding. He leans closer once again and with a shy smile, you close the distance between the two of you. This time you don't hold back on kissing him as you wrap your arms around his neck while he pulls you up from your knees and sets you down on his lap, lips connected.

You pull back to look at the sinfully beautiful man underneath you, his eyes hazy with need, his plump lips parted slightly as he takes deep breaths. Your hand moves on its own as it reaches to touch the fluffy mess of his black hair. Gently you stroke through the locks, eyes set on his as he absentmindedly draws soft circles on your lower back. In this moment of tranquility you feel the surge of love and adoration you posses for this man flow through you all over again and you can't help but smile knowing he's yours now.

"What's so funny?" He asks, dark eyes peering at you. "Nothing. Just how much I love you. How beautiful you are," you reply bashfully as you press a kiss on his jawline. You continue kissing down his neck and nipping the skin gently, encouraged when you hear him release a blissful sigh. And then an idea pops into your mind as you lean backward and get off of his lap just to sink down onto the floor again.

Seungcheol's eyes widen, "____, what are you doing?"

You can't help but pout, "I'm taking care of you. Don't you want this?" Your hands dance over his crotch area mischievously. Blowing him has been on your to-do list for so long and today you are not backing down.

He grunts frustratedly, "I- fuck, yes I do. But- are you sure you can? I don't want to push you too hard, baby. You don't have to do it."

"But I want to. Let me try at least," your pout deepens. The thought of having Seungcheol in your throat makes you desperate. "Tell me if I do something wrong, please."

He lets out an amused snort as your fingers work on undoing his Gucci belt. "Trust me, there's nothing you can do wrong." With a coy smile at him, you undo the buttons of his slacks and then the zipper as Seungcheol shuffles a little to help you pull down his boxer briefs.

The sight of his thick, hard cock has your pussy clenching and your mouth drooling as you tentatively reach for the semi-hard member and give it a few experimental pumps. The tip leaks white pearls of precum and your mouth waters. Seungcheol's nails dig into the armrest as he lets out a grunt, the sight below him purely sinful. Wanting to hear more of his sounds, you quickly take the pinkish tip of his cock into your mouth and suck.

"Fuck-" Seungcheol hisses, hands coming to rest on the top of your head. The way your doe eyes look at him with your mouth full and your curious hands work on him has him losing his mind. His reaction pleases you and you swirl your tongue around his tip, moaning when he leaks salty precum into your mouth. Your hands work on the base of his cock as you inch down your mouth.

"Shit, ____-" You don't listen to his curses as you keep going down and then suddenly your gag reflex activates as you feel him kiss the back of your throat. You haven't even gotten half of him inside your mouth and your throat already hurts.

You pull back to take in a deep breath before delving back in without any delay as you take as much of him as possible in one go. Your throat burns and you feel like choking, tears in your eyes but it's somewhat manageable when you relax your throat so you keep sucking what's in your mouth and pump the rest using your hands.

"Shit, you're so good baby," Seungcheol breaths, looking down at you with dark eyes, a proud smirk on his face that makes your pussy leak. Loving his praises you pull back to lick a stripe down the underside of his cock before sucking him harder. His hands fist in your hair though he remains careful not to hurt you. It takes all of Seungcheol's willpower to not just grab your head and shove it down his length. When the pleasure begins to increase and he can feel his high approaching, Seungcheol pulls your mouth off of him with a grunt.

"That's enough, baby. I'm gonna cum," he hisses and you whine, voice croaky as a little bit of drool escapes from your mouth. "I want to make you come! Please, let me. Did I do something wrong?" Your concerned wide eyes make his heart soften as he strokes your cheek gently. "No sweetheart, you were perfect. It's just that I really need to come inside you right now. Is that okay?"

The thought of it makes you swallow as you nod your head mutely and with a smirk, Seungcheol quickly drags you towards his bedroom where he manhandles you onto his king sized bed. He crawls on top of you like a predator waiting to devour his prey and the intense fire in his eyes is enough to make you forget the human language. Roughly, he attaches his lips against yours, tongue prodding inside your mouth in no time as his hands work on undoing your blouse. You don't realize he has torn it open until you hear your buttons scattering over his floor.

"Seungcheol-"

"Shush. I'm too impatient." He whispers, leaning back and tugging your jeans down swiftly. Then his large hands reach for your bra as he unhooks it hastily and tosses it away before kneading your breasts softly. You mewl in pleasure. "Seungcheol- that feels so good."

"Oh yeah?" The cocky smile never leaves his face as bites your soft flesh, sucking your sensitive nipples before pushing your soft flesh inside his mouth, marking it in the process. Your mushy brain tugs at his shirt as you whine. "T-take this off please. Wanna see you." You hear him chuckle, "Why don't you do it for me?"

You don't need to be told twice as you immediately start fiddling with the buttons of his shirt and help him out of it. With that offending piece of cloth gone, his sculptured figure is once again revealed to your eyes and you almost drool. He's just as buff as you remember, if not more, taut muscles spread all over his torso. Subconsciously you trace your fingers over them as you drink him in.

"You can stare at me all you want later, baby." Seungcheol gives you a soft smile before pressing a kiss on your belly. "I need to be inside you now." He whispers lips ghosting over your core as his hands make a quick work of taking off your panties. He starts with kissing your clit before moving down and licking a long stripe across your cunt and then sucking. Your toes curl as you writhe underneath him, "Daddy!"

The name falls from your lips almost unknowingly as your delirious brain grinds against his mouth for more. He's relentless, determined to bring you to your orgasm as he pushes his tongue into your hole and continues his torture. Your hands grip his hair tightly as he continues his ministrations on your sensitive spot, your arousal leaking onto the bed. "Fuck, missed this sweet pussy so much." You hear him mumble and his words seem to make your orgasm come faster. "Seungcheol! I'm g-gonna come!" You wail.

"Come, baby. Come for me so I can fuck you open." His voice is muffled against your core as your mouth opens in a silent scream. He gives a particular harsh suck on your clit and your orgasm washes over you making you shake.

Seungcheol wastes no time, pushing a couple of his fingers inside your sensitive hole as he gives a few quick pumps before popping the fingers into his mouth, his eyes seductive as he makes a show of sucking them. Then he stands up and hastily takes off his pants and boxers. Your mind is fogged up as you recover from your orgasm and watch him stroke his cock, intense eyes set on you before lining his hard length with your pussy.

"Ready, sweetheart?" He asks. You can only nod, hands clutching the bed sheets for support. And then he pushes in. The stretch of his thick cock has you moaning loudly, the overwhelming sensation of fullness consuming. Above you, Seungcheol curses softly as you grab him tighter and try not to lose your mind. "Oh my god- Seungcheol-" You gasp for breaths.

"So fuckin tight. Just as I remember," he breathes.

He marvels at your reaction, eyes rolling back as your mouth hangs open, hands blindly clawing his body to ground yourself. He leans closer so that his naked chest presses against yours and starts peppering wet kisses on your neck, never faltering his thrusts. They are slow but deep and calculated, hitting your sensitive spot every single time as you whine and whimper, tears forming in your eyes. "Daddy, harder please!" You wail mindlessly.

"Oh yeah? You want it harder, baby?" He raises a full brow at you, expression cocky as he captures your lips in a bruising kiss before shuffling back and pulling out of you completely. You're about to cry for him when he grabs your hips and flips you over onto your front, your ass in the air for him. He gives it a sudden smack and you squeal, jolts of pleasure rippling through you before wasting no time to push himself back in. He doesn't go slow this time, immediately increasing his pace as his cock moves inside your tight walls brutally.

The new angle has him even deeper inside you as he holds your body still by grabbing your arched hips. You can feel every inch and ridge of his cock rearranging your guts as you scream into the pillow. "O-oh fuck, d-daddy-"

His grunts feel like music to your ears. "Is this what you were asking for little slut?" He hisses, snaking his arms around your body to reach for your breast. His degrading words make your pussy throb harder as you shake your head wildly, "Yes daddy! Yes! Please give me more."

He snickers, doubling his pace and you can hear the headboard of the bed hit the wall. "Such a polite baby girl, I have." He softly bites your shoulder as he takes a nipple between his index and thumb and twists it harshly before flicking it. You mewl loudly, the rough treatment bringing you closer to your high. "O-oh my god- fuck, I'm g-gonna come."

"So soon?" He teases, ramming his cock inside you tirelessly as you nod. "Go ahead then, come, little slut." He whispers in your ear, another hand trailing down to your pussy where he starts rubbing your clit in harsh movements and your mind goes blank. "Come, baby," he mouths, nipping your earlobe and the combination of his merciless thrusts and his fingers on your clit brings you over the edge with a pornographic scream.

"Seungcheol!"

Your whole body shakes violently as you come, toes curling in pleasure as meaningless sounds escape your mouth. You can't even fully process anything when Seungcheol flips you again to face him and holds both of your legs wide open, continuously railing your sensitive pussy. His hands keep doing their magic on your hypersensitive clit, making you shudder and whimper. "C-cheol." You call for him mindlessly.

The sight in front of you is God sent, Seungcheol's dark eyes watching you, his body coated in a thin sheen of sweat as he keeps fucking you hard. It makes your throat dry. "Give me one more, baby." He says, leaning closer to peck your lips before ramming himself inside you, pace so fast that tears actually leak from your eyes. "Oh fuck- o-oh fuck-"

Before you can even feel it, your orgasm washes over you with a force that has your ears ringing and white dots filling your vision. You twitch underneath Seungcheol's large frame as his pace falters and with a loud groan of your name, he comes. His warm release fills you up and some even leak out, but you're too gone to care. You feel nothing but pure bliss, as if you are floating in a cloud.

Seungcheol gently slips out of you before collapsing right next to you, his hands pulling your body close but you can't even comprehend anything until your brain starts working a little. His warm breath tickles your shoulder as he pants next to you and you feel this seed seep out of your beaten cunt.

Mustering up enough power to open your eyes, you lazily turn your head to look at Seungcheol. You have to blink a few times to properly see and the sight warms your heart. His beautiful face greets you, his hair disheveled, a look of content and a small smile sitting on his lips. "You didn't pass out this time," he teases once he catches his breath. You can only grin, eyes falling shut again.

You feel him move beside you but your hands stop him immediately by wrapping them around his torso. "I have to clean us up, baby." His voice is soft. You shake your head, lazily pulling him back and he lets you, before scooting closer to him and nuzzling his neck, his addictive scent overwhelming your senses. "Don't. Just stay." You croak, voice almost inaudible. You hear him sigh and pull you closer, your face squishing against his hard chest as his hands move in soft motions through your hair.

"I love you," His gentle whisper makes you open your eyes and peek at him. "I love you so much that it scares me." He sounds so vulnerable, a side of him you never thought you'd see and your heart aches for him. But your heart also feels full and warm and happy hearing those words, words that you've wanted to hear for so long.

Wrapping your arms around him as tightly as possible you shower gentle kisses on his chest. "I love you too, Seungcheol. I love you so much."

His eyes gaze down at yours, and the emotions swirling in his brown orbs make your heart skip a beat. "Thank you. For loving me. For giving me a chance. For everything." His lips meet your forehead for a kiss. You grin, "I should be the one thanking you Seungcheol, really. I'm so lucky to have you." He smiles, leaning into your touch as your index finger trails over his face.

After a beat of silence you ask, "Now, does that mean you're my boyfriend?" Your shy eyes wander to his as you nervously chew on your lip. Seungcheol seems to ponder for a while as hums, "Boyfriend? Doesn't that sound so limited? I'm more than that. I'll be your everything if you'll let me. I'll be your lover."

Warmth blooms on your face at his words as you almost melt. "That's... really romantic, Cheol. And very unlike you." You whisper.

"I'm trying to be romantic for you, lover." He smiles his signature gummy smile which is quite a rare sight.

"Lover...I like it." You smile gleefully, hands reaching for his to interlock your fingers. If you look very closely, you can see just the faintest hue of red shading his cheeks and ears and your heart flutters at the sight.

"Lover it is." Seungcheol whispers, capturing your lips in a loving kiss.

Lover, he is.

a/n 2: SO, if you enjoyed reading this and want to know more about this couple or lover! Seungcheol in general, my ask is open. I'd love love lovee to hear your thoughts about them and if you have any questions regarding how they/he would act in a situation or something like that, you can send me an ask and I'll write drabbles regarding it. I'm just so excited about this fic, I'd really like to chat about this with y'all, I'VE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT so please let me know your thoughts and requests for any drabbles!

masterlist | kofi

Taglist: @coupsiekkuma @haomullet @haven-cove @woozarts @fairiewonu @qy61 @lilactangerine @wheeinz @melocular @soonchanshua @chvngbin @kp0p10v3r2 @mommymilkers6000 @silent-potato @luv4cheol (forgive me if I've forgotten to tag someone 🙏)

© startlightxsvt 2022 | All Rights Reserved. Do not copy, translate, adapt, or repurpose any of my works.

as of october 31st, 8,525 palestinians have been murdered in the ongoing 25 day aggression on gaza.

as of october 29th, 881 families in Gaza have lost at least 2-5 members to israeli airstrikes.

on october 26th and following biden's statement saying that he has "no confidence in palestinian death count", the palestinian ministry of health released a comprehensive 200+ pages long list of the recorded individual deaths, with 6,747 names (+age and ID number).

this list does not include those who were not identified, those who are still missing under the rubble, those who were buried directly without being brought to hospitals, and those whose hospitals were unable to complete their registration procedures.

the first 88 names on the list are from one family; Al Astal, listed from oldest (72) to youngest (less than a year). the next 72 names are another family; Hassounah.

as of october 15th, 50 palestinian families, meaning bloodlines, have been completely wiped out of the civil registry. the number has most likely gone way up since.

there are no other words for this, this is ethnic cleansing.

whipped

Stray Kids Imagine

Summary: the boys are whipped and reader is spoiled rotten.

SFW, fluffy and cute (,:

-OT8

4k words (got carried away on hannie’s >_<)

Bang Chan:

"Mmm," you hum lowly watching a cooking video on your phone. You didn't even realize you were hungry until you got stuck scrolling on some random cooking page.

"I'm hungry now," you mumble quietly to Jisung beside you, turning your phone to show him the video. He nods before you even turn the phone, your phone screen had caught his attention earlier and he had been watching over your shoulder.

“I’ve been watching since that chicken parmigiana,” he admits and you laugh but Chan’s voice speaks up before you can reply. Neither of you had realized he has pushed one of his headphones back and heard the whole conversation.

"Here, princess. Go get something to eat," you feel the plastic hit your leg before you even realize Chan had been getting his card out of his wallet.

“Don’t go too far without telling me where you’re going,” he adds on, turning back around towards the track he had been working on.

"I'll just go to the vending machine. Do you want anything?" you ask, standing and tucking your phone into your back pocket. He turns his head towards you as you start inching towards the door.

"No, I'm okay. Thank you," he replies with a soft smile and eyes you while you turn and walk out of the room. He doesn't turn back to continue working on the track again until you are completely out of his sight.

"Oh my gosh. You are down bad," Changbin speaks up from beside Chan and Jisung bursts out laughing behind him.

"He took the nickname 'princess' literally," Jisung laughs out and Changbin agrees with vigorous nods.

“She’s got you like this,” he holds up his pinky towards Chan and he swats his hand away, a blush rising up his neck at the teasing.

Changbin pokes Chan’s neck, catching Jisung’s attention at the blush and Chan swats his hand away again, slightly embarrassed because he knows his friends are right.

"W-what did I do now?" He stutters out, looking between the two before you walk back into the room, a bag of chips in your hand.

"Thank you, Channie," you smile as you walk over to him, handing him his card back. He grabs the card from you but before you can retract your hand, he pulls it back towards him, pressing a kiss to the top of your hand and then flipping your hand and placing one to the inside of your wrist.

He never breaks eye contact and you’re in a trance when his chocolate eyes meet yours. He looks like an adoring puppy, and it seems you’re his owner.

You smile and retract your hand, pressing your own lips to the same spots that he had. He smiles at the indirect kiss and you blow a kiss at him before walking back over to your spot beside Jisung.

"He is wrapped around your finger," Jisung says after Chan replaces his headphones, causing Changbin to start laughing again and holding his pinky up towards you, like he had done to your boyfriend earlier.

Lee Know:

You and your boyfriend, Minho, arrived back at his house, ready to start your weekly movie night with him and his three other roommates. Minho had come and picked you up, like always, and that alone got the boys riled up.

"Why does he always need to go pick you up?" Felix asks when you sit next to him and you laugh and shrug.

"I don't know. He says I don't need to drive if he is perfectly capable of driving. I just chose to let it be," you smile and look over at Felix noticing chills on his arms, "You cold, Lix?" you ask and he nods. 

"He is so sweet to you," Felix replies and you let out a chuckle, nodding in agreement before you feel the couch sink on the other side of you.

"Mm I guess so,” you agree, letting a smile make its way to your face.

“Honey, can you go get Lix another blanket?" you lean over to him, stopping him from getting completely comfortable in his seat.

"Why do I have to do it?" he complains, but stands anyways and makes his way over to the spare blankets. He picks up the one he knows is Felix’s favorite, and tosses it into his lap.

"Wait! Can you also get me a glass of water?" you ask, tilting your head back on the back of the couch to look at him. He groans and turns towards the kitchen.

"Yes, princess. Anything for you, your highness," he grumbles, sarcasm dripping in his tone.

"I kind of want my snacks," Seungmin speaks up towards you, a grin on his face. You grin back at him before turning in your spot to face the direction your boyfriend had just left in.

"And Seungmin's snacks!" you yell behind him and hear him whine. You sit up and smile at Seungmin.

"That means yes," you translate his complaining.

"We know. He never says no to you. It must be nice," Jeongin speaks up from the floor in front of the couch and you laugh. You know your boyfriend is absolutely whipped for you. There is no way to ignore it.

"What is so funny?" Minho's voice sounds from behind you, his steps approaching the couch.

"Oh, nothing," you smile up at your boyfriend as he leans over and tosses Seungmin's snacks into his lap. He places your glass of water on the table in front of you.

"You're so whipped," Felix comments while Minho settles into the couch next to you. You shift your weight slightly to lean into him, his arm slinging up to the couch behind you.

"I have to be. I spoiled her too much in the beginning and now I'm stuck," he says and you slap him on his chest lightly, causing the boys to laugh before starting the movie.

Changbin:

Changbin reaches across the table and grabs the pitcher of water. He grabs your glass from in front of you while you are deep in a conversation with Hyunjin across from you.

He refills it before turning back to Han to finish their conversation. He sits the pitcher back where he got it.

"My glass is more empty than her's was," Han complains and Changbin laughs, shaking his head at his friend.

"Then you might want to refill it," he replies but before Han can give a comeback, the food comes to the table.

"Mmm. This looks so yummy," you inhale deeply above your bowl, "And smells so yummy too," you comment and start blowing on your hot meal, waiting for it to cool down.

When you lean forward, your hair almost falls into your food but Changbin notices and quickly pushes it over your shoulder before it can.

"Careful, baby," he says quietly to you and takes your hair elastic off his wrist, tying your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You smile and place a hand on your boyfriend's thigh.

"Thank you, Binnie," you smile at him and he smiles back.

"Whipped," you both hear Seungmin say it under his breath but it seemed like he wanted you to hear it.

"Shut up," Changbin points a finger at him, squinting his eyes. Seungmin puts his hands in the air in surrender and you turn back towards your still hot food.

"Here. Have a few bites while your food cools down," Changbin offers and slides his dish over to you, which you gladly accept and take a bite.

"Mm! This place is so good!" you exclaim, a hand covering your full mouth. You move it after you swallow and Changbin reaches over, swiping his thumb at the corner of your mouth.

"Messy," he teases at you and you stick your tongue out at him.

"Really? Right in front of my salad?" Seungmin speaks up again and you snap your head towards him, causing the table to erupt into laughter. Neither you or Changbin had noticed that the entire table had fallen silent while the two of you were in your own little world.

"Oh hush!" You exclaim, laughing, feeling the blush rise to your face.

Hyunjin:

“Baby, do you love me?” you ask from your spot on the floor, glancing at your boyfriend through the mirror. Hyunjin immediately turns to you and nods his head, placing his phone down on the bed beside him.

“Of course but what do you want?” he raises an eyebrow, he has grown quite keen of your little tricks.

“Can you pretty please grab my phone from the kitchen? I left it in there to charge earlier but now I want it,” you whine a little bit and Hyunjin stands, walking over to you and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"Your wish is my command," Hyunjin smiles and you roll your eyes. Your boyfriend had started this joke a while ago but as your relationship progressed, you realized it really wasn't a joke.

He really does get you whatever you desire. Most of the time he gets you what you want without you even having to ask him. If he could, he would quite literally worship the ground you walk on.

Hyunjin returns with your phone and the charger it had been plugged into a few moments later. All you asked for was your phone off the charger but he always goes above and beyond.

"It was only charged to fifty, so I brought the charger too," he replies and leans down to press a kiss to your lips. He always gets a kiss after you ask him to do a task, almost like a payment.

"Thank you, my love," you mumble as your lips meet gently. You are sat on the floor, doing your makeup and Hyunjin being the perfect and patient boyfriend that he is, is waiting nicely for you.

"Mhm. You know I can never say no to you," he confesses and presses another kiss to your lips. He walks over to the bed but instead of laying back down, he grabs his phone and makes his way back over to you. He squats down and sits behind you, placing his knees against your back and laying down on the ground.

"You can lean back if you need to, love" he says nonchalantly and pulls his phone out to keep himself entertained while you continue getting ready.

You lean back against his knees and stare at yourself from afar in the mirror. You place both hands on Hyunjin's knees, prying them apart and letting your body fall on top of his before flipping over.

"You spoil me," you whisper, inching closer to his face, he drops his phone to the ground beside him and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling your body flush against his.

"I can't help it. I always want you happy," he replies and you lean down, letting the kiss linger longer than the previous two had.

Han:

"Stop acting like a spoiled little princess," Jisung teases at your pouting face. He had dragged you to this fair and insisted you don't need to bring your bag out wallet then when you got hungry, he refused to buy you any food.

"Sungieeee..." you know you're whining but you also know it always works. Your boyfriend is extremely soft when it comes to you. He rolls his eyes at you and throws an arm over your shoulder.

"What do you want?" he sighs out and you smile, practically jumping up and down and pointing to the stand you want. He starts walking towards it when you get distracted by a game right next to the stand.

It is one of those dart games when you have to hit the balloons and the big prize is a giant stuffed dragon. You open your mouth to speak but Jisung interrupts you before a word can leave your mouth.

"You want the dragon, don't you baby?" It's a question but it comes out of his mouth more like a statement. You nod fervently, a huge grin plastered on your face. Jisung sighs and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his wallet. He hands you a twenty dollar bill and you bound over to the stand, handing it to the man.

It is $5 a round and by the beginning of your fourth round, you know you won't be able to get it. You pout a little bit when the man working the stand hands you a tiny puppy instead, mumbling out a quick "thanks" then heading to the stand you were originally going to.

"Hi! What can I get you two?" the kind man at the stands asks you and Jisung as you walk up, your eyes never leaving the menu.

"Get what you want, baby," Jisung encourages you and you half smile at your sweet boyfriend, still a bit sully that you didn’t get the dragon, before going on to list quite a few things off the menu. Jisung laughs and leans towards the man in the stand.

"And a corndog and a water bottle for me," he adds on, reaching for his wallet again and the man laughs, obviously amused by your huge appetite.

"Happy wife, happy life," he jokes and Jisung nods at him, agreeing. To which you elbow him gently as he pays the man.

"You don't want to see her when she isn't happy. You ever seen Hulk?" he jokes with him and he laughs, handing him back his change.

"It's always the cute ones you have to look at for! Your order will be out in one moment!" he exclaims and Jisung nods, turning to face you.

"Go find a seat, I need to go pee," he kisses you on the temple and you nod, going and sitting at one of the tables that was set up only a few feet away. You hop on your phone while you wait for your boyfriend to return, going through some pictures he had taken of you earlier. You feel a bit bummed out by the fact you didn’t get the dragon and the pictures all seemed bad since you weren’t in a great mood.

"Wow y/n. You are so pretty," you hear Jisung before you see him. He was using a strange voice and you turn around to be met face to face with the giant dragon from the stand earlier.

"Oh my gosh, Jisung! Did you just win this!" you exclaim, grabbing it from his hands and he laughs.

"If by win, you mean paying the guy an arm and a leg for it, then yes I did win," he chuckles and you hug the dragon to your chest, taking a step closer to Jisung. You let the dragon be the only space between the two of you as you lean in, pressing your lips to his.

"You're the best. You know that right?" you question and he nods, pulling away when your order number is called out.

"Happy wife, happy life," he yells out to you as he walks up to the stand to get your food.

Felix:

"Oh my gosh, y/n!" you hear a loud voice, not coming from your boyfriend, yell through the house. Your eyebrows drop in confusion since you were only expecting Felix to come over today.

"Innie?" You question, making your way towards the foyer. He walks towards your dining room table and plops down a few handfuls of bags.

"You have Felix wrapped right around your finger, y'know?" he questions, holding his pointer finger in the air while he plops down in your dining room chair. You let your eyes graze over every bag on the table before the subject that was just brought up makes you realize you haven’t seen Felix.

"Where is he? And when did you learn the code to my house?" you reply and sit across from Jeongin, barely able to see him over the five or six bags that he had sat down on the table.

"I didn't, Felix put it in then went to get his own bags out of the car. These,” he pauses, motioning to the bags on the table, “are all for you," he blinks at you, eyebrows raised. You laugh and look around at the bags.

Felix excels in everything he does, especially when it comes to loving you. Gift giving has become his favorite when it comes to you for some reason. He just always feels the need to make sure you have everything you could possibly need or want.

You glance at each of the bags until your eyes fall to one that had been hidden behind a Sephora bag. It was a small blue Tiffany and Co. bag and you can't resist the urge to rip it open.

"Baby?" you hear Felix's voice right before you start to take the tissue out the bag. He rounds the corner and sees you before you can reply, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't let me stop you! Open it," he insists and sits the bags in his own hands down by the doorway. You grin and start pulling everything out of the bag until you come across a box inside. You pop it open quickly.

Inside is the small "Please Return To Tiffany Co." heart necklace and you smile, running your finger tips over it. You had been wanting this necklace and silently pining in your phone browser over it.

"Is it the right one?" Felix asks and comes up behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders. You look up at him and hand him the necklace.

"Can you put it on me?" You ask and he immediately nods, taking the necklace from you.

"How did you even know I wanted this?" You asks, giddy in your seat at the new necklace. He clasps it behind your neck and lets his hands run down your shoulders, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head.

"You left the browser on your phone open the other day. When I got on it, it was the first thing I saw," he replies and you turn your head to connect your lips with your boyfriend's.

"I'm sick. I have to go anywhere else but here," Jeongin speaks up, you had honestly forgotten he was there and you let out a laugh as he gets up and makes his way towards your living room.

Seungmin:

"You're cute," you say quietly and walk into the room. you could see your boyfriend, Seungmin, from his spot but you didn't see his friend sitting a few feet away.

Seungmin had his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue poking out of his lips in concentration.

"Gross," you hear Jeongin mumble under his breath. You chuckle and walk in the room, laying eyes of Jeongin, and sit next to Seungmin, watching a video on his phone.

You lean over, trying to look at what he is so focused on but you can’t. You tap him on the shoulder and he takes his headphone out to hear you.

"Watcha watching?" you ask and he turns the phone towards you, but not before disconnecting his headphones. On his phone is a video review of the new Hermès Birkin bag that a Hermès representative had posted. The bag hadn’t even been officially released yet but it was so pretty. It was a big bag and it drew your attention because it looked so well made.

"Oh! Is that the bag I have been looking at?" You question and grab the phone from his hand, rewinding the two minutes he had already watched. He lets you have his phone and turns towards Jeongin, knowing that you would become completely invested in the video, probably muting out whatever else was going on in the room.

"You just let her do whatever she wants, don't you?" Jeongin jokes at his friend, who shrugs in response.

“She deserves the world,” he says, nonchalantly. This statement throws his friend off because he doesn’t often get soft around him, even when talking about you. He offers him a soft smile then glances over at you.

You had pulled your feet up onto the couch, cozying under the blanket that Seungmin had been under. Seungmin unfolds the blanket and lets it rest over you a bit more comfortably, careful not to obstruct the screen of his phone or distract you.

"What kind of bag, Y/n?" Jeongin's voice speaks up, capturing your attention. You had been completely engrossed in the review.

"Oh, it's the new Hermès Birkin. It hasn't come out yet. I don’t even know if you can preorder it yet,” you say quietly and continue watching the video.

"Yeah the preorder line was insane," Seungmin nods in agreement and Jeongin's eyes open wider, his jaw falling open.

"You bought it?" He exclaims and Seungmin nods.

"Yeah. It's almost her birthday," Seungmin shrugs and Jeongin laughs again.

"Yeah. In six months. How much even is that bag? Like 20,000?" he questions, falling back into his chair.

"It was 40,000," Seungmin laughs when Jeongin sits up abruptly. The video ends and you are aware of the conversation going on again.

"Dude, you are so down bad. She's spoiled rotten," Jeongin laughs out and you shake your head.

"No-"

"Oh shut up, Jeongin. You're just jealous," Seungmin intterupts you, "Let's just start the movie," he grumbles, now annoyed that someone found out just how much he loves to spoil you.

I.N:

Jeongin is used to being the one getting spoiled. Being the youngest in the group comes with its perks and he got used to always being the one being taken care of. Until he met you.

Whenever he is around you, he feels like he needs to be the one taking care of you, instead. He refuses to let you do practically anything. If he had it his way, he wouldn't even have you working.

"Innie, let me pay. You always pay!" You complain but he taps his phone against the card reader before you can even get your wallet out.

"What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let you pay for anything?" he asks, signing the screen and turning towards you, "Besides you paid last time," he shrugs and walks to the end of the counter.

"Buying a 25¢ gum ball from a gum ball machine doesn't count!" you object and cross your arms over your chest. He wraps a hand around your wrist, uncrossing your arms, and pulling you into his body, making you wrap your arms around him.

"Shh. Let me keep taking care of you," he insists and you tighten your grip around his waist, letting your head fall back to look at him.

"You always spoil me. Buying me food every where and always getting me gifts," you speak quietly and Jeongin releases his grip on your wrists, bringing his fingers up to brush stray hairs from your face. You smile at the sweet gesture.

"Mhm. Princess treatment," he smiles at you and roll your eyes. He presses a kiss to your forehead and you let go of him when your name is called for your drinks.

"Speaking of gifts," Jeongin speaks up as you sit down at a table by the window. You chuckle, already knowing where he is going with this.

"What did you get me?" you grin at him. You always object when he gets you things because you get a bit of a guilty conscience. You feel like you never get the chance to spoil him back but he really doesn't mind.

Although you object, you can't help getting giddy when he mentions getting you gifts.

"I got you those shoes you have been wanting! I joined a list so they would text me when they restocked. They'll be here Thursday," he says and smiles at you over his cup of coffee.

"Innie! You're seriously the sweetest. I have a love hate relationship with your spoiling habits," you grin at him and shake your head. He laughs and reaches across the table, grabbing your hand.

"Just appreciate me, dear," he replies sarcastically, letting his thumb run across the rings in your hand, most of which he bought for you or are his, before bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing it.

"I feel like I live in a fairytale," you say quietly when he removes his lips from your hand, looking over at you

"Am I Prince Charming?" he asks, bringing his other hand up to hold yours in both of his. You let out a chuckle at his question.

"You might be more like the animal side kick," you joke and he drops your hands, trying his best to hold back a smile. You let a fake pout fall on your lips.

"I want to keep holding hands," you whine and he laughs, quickly taking your hand back in his.

"How can I be fake mad when your fake pout is so cute?" he asks and brings your hand up, giving it another kiss.

Peach to my Mario

pairing — idolbf!leeknow x f!reader

word count — 2.7k words

warnings — she/her reader, tiny bit of angst, stress, tooth-rotting fluff

summary — Minho always avoids showing affection to you in public which makes his friends and members worry about his relationship, thinking it might not be healthy. However, in private, Minho a completely different person. One day, he comes home early and takes the chance to invite you over. During a little gaming sesh, his members accidentally walk in on him being overly sweet with you.

It was just part of Minho's nature to avoid PDA. He never showed affection when you were out with friends, and he wasn't the type of guy to show you off or post you on social media, even on his private account. When you first started dating, you went out to dinner with Minho and some of his members and their partners. It was the first time you were out with him around other people. Whenever you tried to initiate any contact with him, he'd gently push you away and give you a look that said, "Not here," which, at first, bothered you.

This constant habit didn't go unnoticed by his members. They saw how he acted with you around them, which made them worry about your relationship. Some even talked to Minho, suggesting he show more affection, but he always replied with, "I know what I'm doing." This left them wondering, "Are they even a happy couple?" because that's all they knew. They were never shown the real side of Minho in a relationship.

You eventually got used to it over time, as he had a way of making up for it. When you two were alone, he was the sweetest. He showered you with love, and he wasn't afraid to show emotion. It was fascinating to see how different a person he could be depending on the setting, and as his girlfriend, you somewhat liked this duality. When he'd get home from an outing with you, he'd immediately pull you into a hug and smother you with kisses, becoming a completely different person than he was a minute ago.

You didn't complain about the lack of PDA anymore because you were grateful that Minho saw you as someone he could be vulnerable with. He wasn't afraid to share his struggles and ask for your help, and you appreciated the connection you had with him in this way. It was so rare for him to have such a bond with someone, which made it so precious.

One day, Minho arrived at his dorms earlier than usual, and it was a particularly stressful day. They were approaching a comeback, and the choreography needed to be finalized with a tight deadline. A professional choreographer was scheduled to review their dance, and they had to have it perfected by then. The pressure was especially heavy on Minho, as he was responsible for everything, being the main dancer in the group. Comeback season always brought a lot of stress for all of them. The producers had to handle the tracks, and they had to attend numerous meetings discussing potential concerts and promotions.

Usually, during this stressful and overworked period, he would be staying late at the company, leaving little time at home. So, it was rather unusual for him to arrive home early. When Minho reached the door of his dorm, he tossed his bag onto the couch and slumped into a seat. He unscrewed a plastic water bottle and downed it in a few gulps. Minho buried his face in his hands, threw his head back, and released an exasperated sigh.

He took his phone out of the front pocket of his backpack and texted your number.

"y/n, do you have a minute?"

right after he sent it out, it showed as "read," with an icon popping up indicating that you were typing. 

"yea, of course. is everything alright?"

"i just wanna see you. and no one's home yet."

It shocked you that he was home already. You hadn't seen him for two weeks, given how busy he had been and how little time he had for himself. So, to you, it was surprising that he had texted you. You responded with a simple "kk" before getting up and preparing to leave. You were wearing gray sweatpants and one of Minho's shirts, but you decided not to bother changing, as it looked presentable enough. After all, it was just Minho.

You grabbed Minho's keys and phone, locking your own door as you left your apartment. Even though you had a car, navigating the busy downtown Seoul intersections often took longer than walking. Luckily, Minho's dorms were only a few blocks away, making it a short five to ten-minute walk. Upon reaching his building, you scanned your keycard at the lobby and opened the door after hearing the click. Minho had given you an extra keycard so you could visit him, although his roommates were unaware of this, as it wasn't something they would necessarily know.

You rode the elevator up to his floor, which was located quite high up, just one floor below the penthouses. Minho's apartment was notably larger compared to the others in the building, as he shared it with three of his group members. You went down the hallway and stopped when you saw his unit number.

You gently knocked on the door, not wanting to startle him. There was silence, so you decided to try the doorknob, and it turned out to be unlocked. You entered, taking your shoes off at the entrance before quietly making your way to the living room. As you entered the room, you found Minho sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the floor.

"Minho" You called out.

He jumped, snapping out of his thoughts and turned his head towards you. "You scared me"

"Did you not hear me come in?"  You chuckled.

Minho shook his head, a small smile forming on his face. "I guess I was too lost in my own world."

You walked over and sat beside him, giving him a gentle smile. "Long day?" He nodded and leaned into your touch.

You wrapped your arm around him. "What can I do to help you relax?"

Minho sighed, looking at you with gratitude. "Just being here is enough. I missed you."

You smiled, feeling a warm flutter in your chest. "I missed you too, Minho. "

"Thank you for coming," he said.

"Anytime," you replied, snuggling closer to him. "Why are you back so early, hm? Where's everyone else."

"They're still at the company, working on their own stuff now. I needed a break from the choreo, I couldn't think straight anymore," Minho confessed, rubbing his temples.

It was rare for him to take breaks for himself so you were glad he reached out to you in this moment. You continued to comfort him, running your fingers through his hair soothingly.

"You know you don't have to carry all the weight on your own, right?" you reassured him.

Minho nodded, appreciating your support. "I know, it's just... sometimes I forget."

"Well, that's what I'm here for – to remind you," you said with a soft smile.

Minho leaned into your touch, his shoulders relaxing as he let out a deep breath. "I'm lucky to have you," he murmured.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, letting the weight of the day slowly lift off Minho's shoulders. You could sense the exhaustion in him, not just physical but also the mental strain of the responsibilities he carried. 

I gave a him a gentle squeeze. "Wanna play something?"

Minho looked at you, exhaustion still lingering in his eyes but a genuine smile playing on his lips. "That sounds good."

You made your way to the Nintendo Switch (Felix's, obviously) and powered up Mario Kart. As the game loaded, you handed Minho a controller, and soon, both of you were engrossed in the competition. The colorful characters on the screen and the playful banter between you and Minho helped to lighten the atmosphere in the room.

As you played, you couldn't help but notice the transformation in Minho. The stress lines on his face seemed to fade, replaced by genuine smiles and occasional laughter. It was moments like these that made you appreciate the private side of Minho that he rarely showed to the outside world.

"You're gonna lose so bad, Y/n, you don't know," he teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yea sure," you shot back, a smirk playing on your lips.

The races became more heated, with Minho throwing himself into the game, making exaggerated gestures as he maneuvered his virtual car. Every time you pulled ahead, he'd let out a theatrical groan, clutching his heart.

"I can't believe you'd do this to me!" he'd exclaim in horror, slumping dramatically in his seat.

You couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Come on, Minho, it's just a game!"

But for Minho, it was more than just a game. It was a battle, a challenge that he took very seriously. When the races got particularly close, he'd lean in closer to the screen, his eyes narrowing in concentration. And when you crossed the finish line first, Minho faked his death right on that couch. He'd plopped onto your lap and stick out his tongue.

As you and Minho continued playing, the atmosphere lightened, and the stress from earlier seemed to dissipate. The room echoed with laughter as the two of you engaged in a fierce Mario Kart competition. 

However, little did you both know that the other boys had finished their work and were on their way back to the dorm. As two of them approached the door, they exchanged glances, wondering if Minho was still immersed in his work or if he had finally decided to take a break.

As the door creaked open, Minho was in the midst of a loud cheer, having won a close race. Your lips formed a fake pout, teasing Minho for his impressive gaming skills. Before you could utter a word, Minho grabbed your face and planted a sweet kiss on your lips. With a satisfied grin, he plopped back down onto your lap, his eyes shifting to the TV which displayed his victory.

His eyes were fixed on the screen, and he didn't notice the entrance of his fellow members. Seungmin and Felix stood frozen for a moment, taking in the unexpected scene before them.

Minho, still admiring his victory, suddenly felt a shift in the atmosphere. His eyes flickered from the screen to your face, and then he followed your gaze to the open doorway. There, standing in various states of shock and amusement, were his friends.

Minho's cheerful expression faltered as he registered their presence. He quickly disentangled himself from your lap, clearing his throat awkwardly and avoiding eye contact.

"Hey," he mumbled, attempting to regain his composure.

Minho's sudden change in behaviour didn't go unnoticed by them. The two exchanged puzzled glances, silently communicating their surprise at witnessing a side of Minho they had never seen before.

Seungmin smirked. "Didn't know playing video games could be so... intimate."

Minho's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he tried to brush off the situation. "No, just taking a break from choreo. Y/n happened to drop by."

You offered a friendly wave to the members, trying to diffuse the tension. "Long time no see."

"Didn't know he had such a soft side for you." Felix looked in your direction.

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, Minho, you've been keeping this hidden from us."

Minho avoided making eye contact with anyone. "It's not a big deal. We're just hanging out."

Felix interjected, "Alright, alright, let the man breathe. Maybe he's just trying out a new gaming strategy."

Seungmin smirked, "Yeah, because everyone knows that cuddling enhances your Mario Kart skills."

Minho sighed, realizing he was caught in a situation he couldn't easily escape. The members, still amused, decided to join the gaming session, pulling up chairs and grabbing controllers. The atmosphere lightened up again as everyone got immersed in the races. Amidst the gaming chaos, you felt a subtle shift beside you. Glancing at Minho, you noticed a small smile playing on his lips as he looked at you. Seizing the opportunity, you casually leaned against him, and to your surprise, Minho didn't pull away. Instead, he subtly wrapped his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer.

Felix, ever observant, caught the moment and exchanged a knowing look with Seungmin. A mischievous grin spread across Felix's face as he nudged Seungmin, who raised an eyebrow in response. It seemed like the members were enjoying this unexpected revelation of Minho's softer side. Minho's hesitancy towards PDA seemed to going away slightly. He didn't shy away when you rested your head on his shoulder, and he even tickled you a little during one of the races. 

The night turned into a fun and lighthearted gathering, with laughter filling the air as everyone bonded over Mario Kart. The initial surprise at seeing Minho in a more vulnerable and relaxed state slowly faded, replaced by acceptance and genuine enjoyment of the moment. As the clock ticked away, the group decided to take a break from gaming and sat together in the living room, sharing stories and enjoying the dinner Jeongin had eventually brought. It was during these moments that you could see a different side of Minho showing the side that wasn't afraid to be affectionate in front of his friends.

The members of Stray Kids, who had initially been concerned about Minho's reserved nature in public, began to see the depth of his relationship with you. They witnessed the way he looked at you, the way he smiled, and the subtle gestures of affection that spoke volumes about the connection you shared.

After dinner, as the night wound down, the members bid their goodbyes, as you went over to the door to leave. Minho stood up, indicating that he would walk you home. The others exchanged knowing glances, teasing smiles playing on their lips. 

As you and Minho stepped out of the dorm, the cool night air greeted you. The city lights illuminated the streets as you began the short walk to your apartment. The atmosphere was comfortable, a companionable silence settling between you and Minho.

"I appreciate you coming over," Minho said, his tone sincere. "It's been a hectic few weeks, and tonight was exactly what I needed."

"I'm glad I could be here for you," you replied, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "You don't always have to carry everything on your own, Minho. It's okay to lean on others, especially those who care about you."

He nodded, a grateful smile on his face. "Thank you,"

"Anytime," you replied, giving him a soft smile. "It was nice spending time with everyone."

Minho nodded, his hand finding yours. "I guess they know now," he added with a hint of playfulness.

You chuckled. "Well, it's not a bad thing. They seem to like this side of you."

He smirked. "Yeah, yeah, I can't escape their teasing now. They're gonna tell the dorm all about it"

You squeezed his hand. "You'll be alright. Besides, it's nice to see you letting your guard down a bit."

Minho leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I guess you have that effect on me."

As you reached your apartment building, you turned to face Minho. "Well, this is me. Thank you for tonight."

Minho smiled, leaning in to press a lingering kiss to your lips. "No, thank you. I needed this more than you know."

You both exchanged a loving gaze, the unspoken understanding between you deepening. With a final goodnight, you entered your building, watching as Minho waited until you were safely inside.

As you settled on your couch, you decided to check your social media accounts before getting ready for bed. Scrolling through your feed, you noticed a notification on Instagram from Minho.

Curiosity got the better of you, and you decided to check your social media accounts before winding down for the night. As you scrolled through your feed, you noticed a notification on Minho's private Instagram account. It surprised you because Minho rarely posted anything on his private account, and he had never posted a picture of the two of you before.

Opening the post, your heart skipped a beat as you saw a candid shot one of his members must've taken from tonight. It perfectly captured the essence of the night – both of you smiling at each other, a shared blanket over your laps, and controllers in hand. 

The caption read: "Peach to my Mario"

Feeling a mix of emotions, you couldn't help but smile at the post. It was a small but significant step for Minho to share a piece of your relationship with the world, even if it was just on his private account. 

"Photo credits?" One of the comments read, from Seungmin.

As you liked and replied to a few comments, you couldn't shake the feeling that this marked a subtle shift in Minho's approach to PDA. Maybe, just maybe, the night had not only been a release for him but also a realization that sharing moments of vulnerability with you and his friends wasn't something to be afraid of.

𝐓𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

☆ Genre: Domestic, fluff

☆ Warnings: None

☆ Request: No

☆ Characters: Chan, Y/N, Sky, Noah

☆ Word Count: 2.8k

"What flavour do you fancy today?" Chan asked as he pulled open a drawer. A spoon had become trapped in the hinge; it flew out and clattered to the floor, the man's eyes widening in sheepishness. "That didn't happen."

From the breakfast bar, Y/N started to laugh. She watched as her husband bent down and scooped up the spoon, quickly rinsing it under the tap. "Mmm … you choose."

"Really?" Chan asked with a smile, shaking the spoon in the sink. "Are you sure you want me to choose?"

Steepling her fingers under her chin, Y/N cocked her head to the side. " … Why? What are you planning?"

"Nothing," Chan chuckled. He pushed at a button, and the grinder immediately started to pulverise a dose of coffee beans. Y/N instantly perked up at the aromatic scent wafting from the coffee bar, and she inhaled the fumes as her husband smirked. "Maybe."

"Well, if I pass out from sugar intake, we'll all know why," Y/N commented with a knowing smile.

Chan grinned. "I won't make it too sweet. Promise."

"I want some," Noah frowned from the other side of the counter. "It smells good."

Y/N smiled at that. "It does, doesn't it? You can have a sip from me."

"I want a full cup," the twelve year old sighed. "I want to drink coffee like you. It looks fun."

Y/N couldn't disagree with that. She reached out and gently sweeped his curls away from his forehead. "Well, with how fast time is going, you'll get to drink coffee in no time. Just not yet … coffee isn't good for you baby."

Noah frowned. "Why not?"

"You're only twelve, Noey. Your body is growing and changing … the caffeine in coffee can have all sorts of bad side effects. Anxiety, heart issues, insomnia, dehydration … "

Noah's face immediately paled as his mother continued her list. He swallowed thickly. "I don't want coffee anymore."

From the espresso machine, Chan started to laugh. "I'll make you something else, Noey. Something that will make you feel all warm and cosy."

Y/N grinned as Noah's freckled face broke into a soft smile again. He nodded, swallowing down his last mouthful of cereal.

As Chan tapped the side of the portafilter with the palm of his hand, Sky clattered into the kitchen. The eight year old had a smudge of Nutella on her cheek, and Y/N couldn't help but giggle at the oblivious expression on her face as she climbed up onto a stool beside her.

"Look at you," Y/N hummed, reaching for a tissue. "There's chocolate all over your face."

Sky sat still as her mother wiped away the mark from her cheek. "There was Nutella on my toast."

"I know there was, I made it for you," Y/N laughed. She playfully squished the girl's chubby cheeks as she leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

Sky smiled up at her in response. She kicked her legs under the table while slumping forward onto her arms, her gaze curious as she watched her father. His back was turned towards the both of them, and Y/N secretly stared at him with a dreamy expression floating around her eyes. Sky was completely unaware of the overflow of love trickling out from beside her, her own thoughts preoccupied.

"Almost done … " Chan's voice was laced with a telltale smile as he spoke over his shoulder. With a gentle flick of his wrist, he pulled a stream of silky milk through the middle of his wife's coffee, his face glowing with pride at his handiwork. A perfectly curated ivory heart nestled in a layer of rich amber crema, and Chan's eyes morphed into the thinnest of crescent moons with the intensity of his smile as he padded over to his wife.

He set the round mug down in front of Y/N, simultaneously dropping a kiss to her temple. "There you go."

Chan slid his arm around his daughter as he watched his wife raise the mug to her lips. He burst into amused laughter at the slurp sound that escaped her mouth, the way she always did to avoid burning her tongue.

"Ah … " Y/N shut her eyes in bliss. She set the mug back down on the table, curling her fingers around the warm porcelain. "Vanilla?"

"Vanilla," Chan nodded. "Not too sweet, not too sickly. Perfect."

"I love vanilla.'

"I know."

Sky watched quietly as her mother took another small sip of her frothy drink.

"Do you want a sip, Noey?" Y/N asked as Chan walked back to the machine.

Noah shook his head. "I don't want to die."

"Ah, well," Y/N took another sip, a mischievous glint in her eye as she caught sight of the amusement in her husband's. "That's fair enough."

"Mama?" Sky piped in suddenly.

Y/N nodded. "Yes baby?"

Sky wrinkled her nose. "Do you not know how to make coffee?"

"Of course I know how to make coffee," Y/N smiled. She wondered where her daughter's question was going; they always managed to trail off of thoughts she had never even imagined before.

"Then why does daddy make you coffee every morning?" Sky continued. "It's okay if you don't know how to make coffee, mama. I don't know how to make it either."

At that, Y/N couldn't help but giggle. She set her mug down on the counter again, her gaze turning onto her daughter who had climbed onto the surface beside her mug.

"I do know how," Y/N repeated. "But your daddy insists on making it for me anyway."

Sky cocked her head to the side. "Why?"

"Because I love your mama, that's why," Chan chimed in from behind her with a soft smile. He held out a cup to his son, and Noah's eyes lit up at the goofy face in his hot chocolate.

Sky blinked. "One moment."

She scrambled off of the counter and jumped onto the ground before running off; Y/N and Chan looked at each other in mild bewilderment before she ran back into the room again, a notebook and pen clutched in her hands.

"I'm back," Sky declared as she climbed back onto the counter. She flipped open her book, pulling off the cap of her pen.

"What's that for?" Chan asked curiously. He had settled himself down on the stool beside his wife, and he nursed a large mug of fragrant tea in his slender grip.

Sky scratched her temple with her pen. "You said you make coffee for mama because you love her, right?"

Chan nodded, a smile on his lips. "Right."

"What else do you do because you love mama?" Sky asked. She scribbled on her paper. "I'm making a list. For … the future."

Chan blinked in surprise at her question, just as Y/N grinned widely at her daughter.

"For the future?" Y/N asked.

"Yep," Sky scribbled something else down on the page. "Because daddy loves you. And … and if I make a list of things daddy does, then one day if someone does things like that for me, then … then I will know if someone loves me. Like daddy loves mama."

At that, Y/N found her eyes watering. She avoided her daughter's gaze, instead picking her mug up and taking a large gulp of her sweet coffee.

Under the table, Chan pressed his slipper up against hers.

She smiled.

"So … you want to interview me?" Chan cleared his throat. "Is that it?"

Sky nodded enthusiastically. "Tell me ten things you do because you love mama. I will title my list 'ten ways to say I love you.' Because you making coffee is … is one of the ways you say you love mama."

Chan lowered his head. He did his best to hide the uncontrollable blush that was spreading like rapid wildfire from the collar of his shirt to the tip of his nose.

Tapping her pen against her paper, Sky stared at her parents pointedly. "Point one. Daddy makes coffee for mama."

"Hmm … your daddy doesn't just make coffee for me," Y/N smiled as she traced her finger over the rim of her mug. "He does lots of things without me asking … helps cook food, helps to tidy the house, buys me my favourite food … things like that.

Sky frowned. "Daddy is … a slave?"

Bursting into quiet laughter, Chan fought to not spit his tea out. He gulped it down rather painfully as he shook his head in mirth. "No. I'm not a slave, Ky. I do these things because I enjoy it … and ultimately they make your mama happy, and when she's happy, I'm happy. You know?"

"Writing down 'daddy enjoys being mama's slave' … " Sky murmured.

"Sky, no," Chan laughed. He gently reached for her pen and set it down on the counter, fully getting her attention. "When you love someone, you want them to be very, very happy. And you want things to be as easy as possible for them. I love your mama so much that I want her to make sure she never has to do anything while I'm around. I make her coffee every single morning because I want to. Not because she can't do these things … I just want to do things for her. I don't have to do these things, that's what a slave does, yeah? I like doing it. And she does exactly the same for me - we both do things for each other because it makes us happy. Does that make sense, baby?"

Sky picked up her pen again. She scratched out her previous statement and paused briefly before looking at her father again.

"What do I write then?" Sky wondered aloud.

Y/N smiled. "How about 'acts of service'?"

"Acts … of … service … " Sky hummed as she spelled the words out onto her paper. "Okay. What else?"

Leaning on his side, Chan turned to his wife with a cheeky smile. "Your turn. What makes you feel loved, baby girl?"

Y/N secretly jabbed at his side as her cheeks flushed, making her husband giggle like a child at her reaction.

"Your daddy is very kind," Y/N said to Sky, ignoring the growing smirk on Chan's face as his eyes drilled lasers into her. "That's very important. Never be with someone who isn't kind, okay baby?"

Sky nodded. "Mama and daddy are both kind."

"Aw … " Chan chuckled. He reached out and gently patted Sky's arm, making her smile at him as she finished writing down her second point.

"Give me another one, mama," Sky said.

"Hmm … " Y/N raised her coffee to her lips again as she stared at her husband with soft eyes. She smiled. "Your daddy is very good at controlling his anger. He gets angry sometimes, but he never, ever takes it out on me. That's very important too. Some people get violent when they're angry … it's very important to make sure they don't do that."

Noah suddenly wrinkled his nose from the other side of the counter. "Guys at my school throw things when they're angry. And they hit people."

Chan grimaced. "That's exactly what you shouldn't do."

"Why?" Sky asked.

"Because that leads to other people getting hurt," Y/N explained gently. "We should all do our best to keep our emotions in check so we don't hurt others."

"Okay mama," Sky nodded. She tapped her paper. "What else?"

"I guess it kinda ties into the first point, but I like to help your mama with her housework," Chan grinned. His knee was jumping under the counter, and Y/N snorted quietly as she reached out to place a hand on his leg. He immediately stopped moving and she giggled; she knew how shy he felt speaking about his feelings. He was trying his best for their curious daughter, and it only made Y/N fall in love with him even more.

Sky stuck her tongue out. "That's boring."

"Maybe," Chan laughed. "But it's fun when you do it together. Turns into a game."

"Well, I guess that's okay," Sky said. "But what about washing dishes? That's the worst."

Y/N grinned. "One of us washes them, and the other dries. We usually have the radio on and end up dancing around the kitchen. It's fun."

"That's gross," Sky commented, and Noah grinned at his sister's feigned disgust. "But I'll let it slide. Next?'

Chan leaned forward with his chin on his hand as he peered at his wife. There was a cheeky glint in his eye. "Anything else to say?"

Y/N pressed her lips together to stop herself from erupting into manic laughter. "Your daddy is a very good listener."

"I'm a good listener, big deal," Sky grumbled, sending her parents both into a fit of frenzied giggles. "Why does daddy have to be a good listener?"

"Because," Y/N hummed. "It's nice when someone listens to you. I don't speak very loudly, and your daddy always makes sure to give me his full attention when I speak. I never have to repeat myself … unless he's joking around."

"I'm listening to you," Sky said.

"Yes you are," Y/N smiled as she patted her daughter's head. "You take after your daddy."

Sky cocked her head to the side as she studied her father. She blinked. "I'm not that old."

Chan's mouth dropped open just as Noah and Y/N burst into laughter. They watched as Chan sighed, sagging into his seat.

"Why does every one of our conversations always come back to this?" Chan grumbled, suddenly looking very tired. There was a smile on his lips, though, and Sky giggled before kissing his cheek.

"Because Uncle Seungmin teaches me lots of things," Sky said simply.

Chan shook his head. "That Uncle Seungmin of yours needs to be taught a lesson."

"No, Uncle Seungmin teaches me lessons," Sky said. She then held her pen out again. "Four more things."

Looking at his wife, Chan smiled slowly. They were both blushing uncontrollably, and suddenly they felt like teenagers again. It was Chan who looked away first, his hand coming up to cover his face as cleared his throat again, his ears burning.

"Your mama is the most important person in my life," Chan said. He then rushed to amend his words, "along with you kids, obviously. I think … it's very important to put the person you love before everything else. You guys are my main priority, you know?"

"That's true," Y/N nodded. "He does always put me first. At first I thought he was the kind of guy who'd put work before me … but he never fails to make time for me. I don't know how he does it, but he does."

Chan smiled at that. He took a sip of his tea, hiding the goofy smile pinned to his lips.

"Quality time?" Sky asked. "Is that what you call it?"

"Sure," Y/N nodded.

"Oh, another point," Chan suddenly said. "Kinda similar to the previous one … but respect is very important too. If you don't respect your partner, it's never going to work. I respect your mama lots, and your mama respects me too."

Sky nodded slowly as she wrote down his words. Y/N dropped her head against her husband's shoulder as she watched her daughter, and Chan turned his head to the side to kiss her temple softly.

"How many points left, baby?" Y/N asked gently.

Sky whispered under her breath as she counted the bullet points on her list. "Two!"

"I have one," Chan grinned.

"I have one too," Y/N laughed.

"Go first," Chan nudged her softly.

"I was gonna say your daddy is really supportive," Y/N said. "With anything I want to do, he's always my number one supporter and he cheers me on."

"Daddy is mama's number one fan," Sky giggled. "I'm writing that down."

Chan chuckled. "Pretty accurate."

Sky ran through her points again. "One left!"

"I'd say this one is the most important out of all of them … " Chan said slowly. Y/N tilted her head towards him in intrigue.

The man's face suddenly broke into childish joy. "Cuddles!"

He threw his arms around his wife before she had the time to realise what was happening, and in a split second she was being smothered by her husband's muscular arms; Sky and Noah's voices were a flurry of high pitched giggling as their father attacked their mother with impromptu hugs, and Y/N couldn't do anything but return Chan's embrace with one of his own. She smiled against his shoulder as she heard the brush of 'I love you' against her ear, the words sweet, warm, and as light as angel wings as Chan hugged her a little tighter.

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