Shrrpteeth

THE ANGST HURTS SO GOOD

meddison 🖤 (make me cry)

“You’re leaving.”

“Meredith—” she sighs. “Not here, please.”

“Fine,” she says, clipped.

Meredith drags her into a supply closet. “You were just going to leave without telling me! That’s not— It’s not fair, Addison.”

“I know.”

Meredith is quiet, leans a hand against the racks, bracing herself. “What does L.A. have that I don’t?” 

Addison throws her hands up in defeat. “It’s not that simple—”

“Then tell me.”

“You kissed me, Meredith!” she says, harsh. Voice fraying. 

Meredith remembers two weeks ago, unsteady and unsure. Dragging Addison into an on-call room. She hadn’t planned on it. Reaching up and pulling Addison’s lips to her own. Soft and full. 

“You kissed me back—” Meredith hurls at her. Then softer, “I wouldn’t’ve done it if I’d known.”

“Meredith,” Addison shakes her head, runs her fingers through her hair. “I’m not leaving because of you.”

Meredith feels disappointment, sharp and acute, blooming in her sternum. An awful, ugly part of her wishes Addison wanted to leave because of her. At least then it would have mattered. 

“Then why, Addison?”

“It’s too much, being here.” Addison pauses, gathers herself. “I walk around and all I see are ghosts. I can’t live like this, Meredith!”

Meredith hates how small her voice sounds, “But what about me?”

Addison’s face hardens. “What about you?” She laughs incredulously. “You’ll go back to your life here, with your boyfriend, and everyone else. This. Us,” she pauses, gesturing to the space between them. “Was just something you used to fill the void when you were alone and suicidal.”

Meredith flinches away. “You don’t get to do that—” she says, angry. “You don’t get to use that as an excuse to question my judgment every time I make a choice you don’t like!” 

“You don’t want me, Meredith—”

Meredith cuts her off, “Is that why you kissed me back? Because you were scared I was going to—”

“Don’t.” Addison deflates, “No, Meredith. You know that’s not why.”

“Say it, Addison.”

“I have nothing more to say. I don’t owe you anything.” Addison turns, reaches for the door. 

Desperate, Meredith grabs her arm. “We were friends, or— Or something before that—”

Addison wrenches her arm away, pivots, hair whipping around as she faces Meredith. “No! No Meredith, we were nothing.” 

Meredith recoils as if she’s been slapped. “I—'' I hate you, it forms heavy on the tip of her tongue but she can't say it. 

Addison seems to realize her mistake. “Meredith, I’m—”

“Save it.”

“Meredith, look at me.” Against her better judgment, Meredith does. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry.” 

Meredith feels a tear roll down her cheek. Gently, Addison brushes it away with her thumb. Her hand lingers, fingers splaying across Meredith’s cheek. Addison leans forward, tipping Meredith’s chin so she can feel Addison’s breath on her lips. Addison kisses her, tender. Meredith sinks into it. Her lips are warm and soft, and for a second Meredith believes it’s going to be okay.

Then lightly, Meredith pushes at Addison’s shoulder, steps away from her. 

“Goodbye, Addison. I hope— I hope L.A. works out for you.” Meredith leaves Addison in the supply closet, soft eyes and parted lips.

True to her word, Addison is gone the next morning.

read on ao3

please feel free to ignore this, but i was wondering if you have any recs for where to start with comics for laura/x-23? i've been an x men cartoon fan since like birth and i've never ventured into comics but i wanna do it for her since she's my favourite character and she's in so little of the screen adaptations. i've looked up reading lists for her appearances but i wanna know from someone with certified good taste if there's anything i should read first (or avoid entirely). thank you!! i hope you're having a good day <3

ahhh i'm so glad you came to me with this question! i love laura kinney and if you've never really read comics she's a good character to follow because a lot of her comics are really her solo adventures and you don't need to know too much about the wider marvel universe to understand.

here's the reading list i would recommend:

x-23: innocence lost (2005) - this is a 6 issue miniseries exploring laura's backstory and traumatic childhood in the facility. it's a grim read but one of my all time favorite marvel comics stories and absolutely fundamental to understanding laura's character. it's written by craig kyle and christopher yost, who were writers on xmen evolution and co-created laura for the cartoon. they were defining writers for her in the comics too.

x-23: target x (2007) - a 6 issue miniseries that is a sequel to innocence lost. it shows what laura gets up to after escaping the facility. not as good as x-23: innocence lost but also very important for defining laura's character. also by kyle & yost.

captain universe/x-23 (2006) - kind of an odd little one-shot in which laura gets possessed by a cosmic force, but it gets called back to in marjorie liu's x-23 run in a lovely way, so it's worth reading!

new x-men: academy x - this was a series about the teen students at the xmen academy. it wasn't doing so well so marvel brought kyle & yost on as writers to give the series a new direction, and they introduced laura into the cast and made her the central character. their run starts with issue #20, and you can pretty easily jump into it there without having read the previous issues. this series shows how laura relates to other mutant kids her age and sees her struggling to fit in. if you liked xmen evolution, you'll probably enjoy this series (though it can get grimdark at times).

x-force (2008) - another kyle & yost production! this is the ultra grimdark xmen murder squad. it's a team book, so it's not all about laura, but this series is really important to understanding how laura views herself and how the adults in her life have often failed her. still, if you're not enjoying it, you can probably bail after the first 6 or so issues. kyle & yost can have a problem of constantly putting female characters through gratuitous violence and suffering, and that's turned up to the max here.

x-23 (2010) one-shot - this is a one-shot written by marjorie liu that serves as a prologue to her x-23 solo series. it's beautiful and horrifying and is a great introduction to the work liu will continue to do with laura.

x-23 (2010) series - finally, laura gets a solo series written by a woman! this series by marjorie liu is a must-read. the character work is absolutely incredible, and there are plenty of wacky adventures. includes some of my favorite comic book scenes of all time. i should note that there's a crossover partway through with the series dark wolverine, which liu was also working on at the time.

.......and then comes the dark ages. laura is in a number of other comics in the 2010s - avengers academy, avengers arena, all-new xmen, wolverines - but i would say they're not really worth reading if you're approaching them for laura content. you can check them out if you're interested, but don't expect too much.

all-new wolverine (2016) - laura takes up the mantle of wolverine after logan's death! there's a lot in this series i feel iffy about, but for better or for worse, this version of laura has really stuck. it's a pretty readable series, but if you find yourself not enjoying it, i would say just read the first arc (issues #1-6) and the third arc (issues #13-18). in the first arc she meets her clone sister gabby, and in the third arc she has to deal with an old enemy.

x-23 (2018) - this is mariko tamaki's run! another woman writer yay :) this series is way underrated and i love it, especially the first 5 issues. it's a follow up to all-new wolverine, and it builds on the aspects of that series that i really enjoyed while avoiding the problems it had that irritated me about it. if you care at all about sibling relationships, this one will get you right in the heart.

and then comes the krakoa era! laura has a story in x-men (2019) #5 and then #18-19 that's pretty cool albeit kind of confusing in a sci-fi way. i know laura is a member of the xmen in x-men (2021) but i haven't read it so i can't tell you much about it! i looooove the miniseries x-terminators (2022) which she stars in but it's pretty inconsequential, it's just her and her gal pals having a wacky vampire adventure, so up to you if you wanna read it!

stories to avoid:

nyx (2004) - okay so really there's just one story you MUST avoid and that story is nyx. this story is technically laura's first comic book appearance but it sucks so much. all you need to know is that it establishes that laura was manipulated into underage sex work sometime after the events of x-23: target x and then escaped. while this aspect of her past is relevant to her character and gets alluded to in liu's run, the depiction of it here is horrible and you absolutely do not need to subject yourself to it!

uncanny x-men #450-460 - this series sees laura briefly join the x-men and i'm not really sure where it's supposed to fit in continuity? plus she's kind of out of character? it's confusing and not really important so i would recommend skipping it.

fallen angels (2019) - this miniseries was the first place laura showed up during the krakoa era and it just isn't very good so you don't have to read it!

i haven't said much about the art but i also should mention that some of the art in stories where she's a teen can be kind of sexualizing and uncomfortable to see - x-23: target x puts her in risque goth outfits and new x-men: academy x often has artists who like drawing teen girl characters with ridiculous balloon boobs. but once you get to 2010 or so the artists mostly stop doing that thankfully. i also ought to warn you that laura's stories tend to deal with heavy themes, such as abuse, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and human trafficking. loss of agency is a big theme for laura and with that comes some heavy stuff! but i still think most of her stories are worth reading. she's a compelling hero and i love her <3 <3 <3

i hope this is helpful! let me know if you need any help or clarification :) have fun reading about laura!!!!!!

🧡 for meddison?

🧡 kissing in bed / lazy kiss / cuddling

They're soft <3

--

"Hi." A messy head of blonde hair mumbles the greeting against Addison's bare shoulder, followed by a gentle press of dry, warm lips to her skin. Meredith is wrapped around her, holding her, still holding her, ever since Addison broke down in tears last night.

"Hi," she rasps in return. Her voice is still raspy, still coloured by emotion.

"Feeling better?"

"Not really," Addison admits honestly.

If this had been Derek, he wouldn't even have known you were scared or upset in the first place, her brain adds in for her.

"That's okay," Meredith murmurs, placing more tender kisses against Addison's skin. "I'll just hold you until you do."

💙 for meddison :)

💙 drunken kiss / tipsy

--

She isn't drunk, Addison Forbes-Montgomery does not do drunk, thank you very much, however, she's fairly certain that someone spiked the fruit punch a little too enthusiastically to be appropriate at a party thrown at a damn hospital. Then again, Grey Sloan has never been an institution to do anything by the books.

(She suspects Helm, but can't prove it.)

Meredith's standing a little too close to just be platonic, or is it Addison herself who stepped into the other woman's personal bubble? Either way, Meredith doesn't seem to mind, and Addison is happy, because she'd much rather be standing next to Meredith than anyone else currently present -- and no, she won't be unpacking that mental statement either, thank you very much.

This party has been going on for much longer than Addison would have liked, but her coat is at the very bottom of the pile in the corner, and she can't be bothered to dig it out of the mess. --Okay, and maybe she's enjoying her time spent in Meredith's aura, even though her shoes are making her feet hurt and she's starting to get hungrier than the snacks available will satiate.

Slowly, the crowd of partygoers decreases, until Addison and Meredith are the only ones left standing in the middle of the room, still mere inches from each other.

And Addison decides to act on the impulse that has been bouncing around in her brain ever since she returned to Seattle.

"I'm--" She pauses until she's certain Meredith is listening to her. "I'm going to do something, and if it goes disastrously we can just say we were drunk and don't remember it tomorrow, okay?"

Meredith frowns, but nods, setting her own glass of wine down to the side.

"Okay."

"Okay," Addison repeats, before stepping forward and pressing her lips against Meredith's.

God that wine was cheap, she thinks as she tastes the drops still on Meredith's lips, and then she doesn't think again until their lips part again and the first thought on her mind is oh God.

But Meredith smiles.

"I think I'd like to remember this. Maybe we should do it again, just to be sure."