Silvershadow1711 - Crux Of What? - Tumblr Blog

All of this, 1000%, but especially:

"Just because Erwin is ridden with guilt doesn't mean the cure is death."

"Allowing Erwin to rest is problematic because it can be used for anyone dying."

FUCKING THANK YOU!! The fact that anyone thinks "well, Erwin's depressed and tired of having to make hard calls" is a good justification for letting him die and not the most horrifying thing in a story about people getting turned into canibalistic giants boggles the mind.

(CW: talk of suicide under the break)

Midnight Sun really says "if you're depressed, you should just kill yourself. If you have PTSD, you should kill yourself. Survior's guilt? Kill yourself right fucking now. Nothing will ever get better, it's all downhill from here, happiness is an illusion; the best outcome you can hope for is the sweet release of death. Just throw your dreams in the trash with the rest of your miserable life." Isayama wrote Levi (in this one god awful chapter) as someone who won't even consider the possibilty of Erwin recovering and getting over this depressive slump (y'know, like how Mikasa and Eren did?). You show a moment of weakness and your life is forfeit to this man.

And you can't argue "well, he did it out of compassion because poor Erwin was sooo broken down due to having to be the 'Devil of humanity'." Bull. Shit. Levi obviously never viewed Erwin like that before Floch said it. Are you telling me that Levi-fucking-Ackerman is so mentally weak that his opinion of someone he's known for six years is swayed that hard by an obviously traumatized teenager lashing out, whose name he probably doesn't even know? ...well, seeing as how he uncritically takes the dying words of his megalomanical, serial killer uncle to heart, maybe he is that mentally weak. But still!

If being the commander of the Survey Corps and becoming the "devil of humanity" is suuuuuch a horrible fate that death is preferable... why does Levi then foist that fate onto Hange? Because Levi isn't the one taking up that mantle after Erwin dies. Armin sure as fuck isn't out there making the hard choices (he's not doing anything). It's poor Hange who has to try and fill Erwin's impossibly big shoes, Hange who becomes grim and depressed having to weild humanity's spear against insurmountable odds. What, is that okay because Levi doesn't care about Hange as much as he cares about Erwin (even though Levi interacts with Hange more in canon than he does with Erwin)?

Also, I just think it's funny that Levi paints Erwin with Kenny's "slave" brush because he's still holding onto his childhood dream of finding something outside the Walls because that proves that he has nothing else to live for, while at the same time, he holds Armin up as an example of having long-terms dreams because of *looks at notes* "his childhood dream of finding something outside the Walls". ...huh. Like, seriously; does Levi (like so many fans) assume that once Erwin gets to that basement and finds whatever's in it, that he's just going to retire from the Survey Corps and spend the rest of his life beating off against a wall? And even if he did, so what? Does the poor man not deserve a break after having served in the military for at least 15 years (I'm not pulling that number out of my ass- that is, canonically, the minimal time Erwin has been a Scout)? Erwin Smith has done more for the betterment of Pardis than 99% of the people living there: if he wants Shignshina to be his final mission (and we all know he wouldn't- we know damn well he'd want to see the other people and other countries with his own eyes just like how he had to be the first person to see what was in the basement) then let him retire! Or is the point Isayama is trying to make "the lives of people who can offer nothing to society, either by choice (retirement) or circumstance (mental illness), are inherently worth less"?

TL;DR- if you aren't just blindly happy about Armin surviving (as if Armin has ever been in any danger at any point in the story from beginning to end), Midnight Sun reeeeaaally feels like a giant "Fuck You" to people dealing with depression and trauma. Erwin dying is not the issue- the way he died is the issue.

Do you think it was hypocritical of Levi to tell Eren "Don't let your feelings get in the way" and then five minutes later get sentimental and choose Armin because of, as he later admitted, his own reasons?

Anon, I doubt this was the answer you were expecting, but I don't think Levi would have chosen Armin at all unless it was because Isayama wanted Armin to have a big moment of being passed a mantle...

But answering your question, I don't think it was hypocritical, because despite wanting to chase after Zeke, he stopped to save Armin. Eren brings up Levi hesitating, but the fact that Levi even stopped for Armin and didn't focus on Zeke speaks more to responsibility than emotion to me.

When Mikasa is about to attack Floch, instead of using that moment to retaliate, or kick her off, Levi reacts to save Floch.

Having feelings is one thing. Letting them get in the way is another. They were soldiers. They swore to serve humanity. Levi had years of experience dealing with this, and he knew Eren was just a teenager who cared about his friends.

It's an unpopular opinion, I know, but the whole thing of either Erwin or Armin doesn't do much for me because it advances nothing about Erwin or Armin's character. We already knew Armin was intelligent. Erwin could have died in the suicide charge anyway.

Both Hange and Levi saying Armin wasn't the right choice only further makes me question why the scene even happened. It would have been the same if Armin got the injection and then they found out Erwin was alive too late. Or Erwin just died in the charge.

Armin being chosen didn't say anything new about him, didn't add to his character, didn't add to Erwin's character. It was an emotional episode, but that's about it for me.

Also why Armin survived against all odds makes me dislike that scene even more. I doubt even an Ackerman would survive what he experienced.

And Levi not choosing Erwin has never made sense to me, except that Isayama wanted Armin to take Erwin's place. I've heard all the reasons for Armin over Erwin, and none of them are points I think work, especially when by the time Armin gets the title of commander, it's sort of meaningless.

But getting to the point of Levi letting Erwin die is just against Levi's established character about doing everything for humanity. Levi was adamant that Erwin stay behind because humanity needed him. Just because Erwin was ridden with guilt doesn't mean the cure is death. Levi, no doubt, was exhausted himself. But he would never allow someone to let him die without fulfilling his goal of serving humanity.

Allowing Erwin to rest is problematic because it can be used for anyone dying. They're all exhausted, guilty, and traumatized. This was the first time we saw Erwin be vulnerable. Humans bounce back from a lot. Mikasa bounced back in season 1 when she thought Eren died.

Mikasa. I think it's one of the more powerful themes of the anime. The tenacity of humanity, to always push through despite all the pain and loss.

It would be more powerful for Erwin to have survived, discover his father was right, and then lead Paradis on the nearly impossible mission of defending itself against the world. That would surely make up for all the lives lost in his eyes.

And then someone could have told him that he wasn't a monster, and he wasn't selfish I'm so mad he died thinking so negatively about himself you could have at least let him have hope and believe in himself and then kill him off.

So, years ago, I was super into Fire Emblem Heroes. I played that shit religiously, almost from day 1. I loved the idea of it, that characters from older games and the less popular ones from newer games might get new art and voice lines. I played for so long, hoarding my orbs like a dragon, in hopes that characters I liked would get alts, and when the whole resplendent thing happened, that they might at least get skins.

I was sorely mistaken, and I uninstalles the game once fallen!Edelgard made it clear that my hopes for a fallen!Gunter were as misplaced as people in hell hoping for ice water. But before I purged FEH from my heart, I'd drawn respendent alts for my most used units. I posted them on Reddit, but now I'm posting them here (these are the digital color versions- each image started life as a pen and paper illustration that I'll upload when I can find them)

Hel!Gunter is the canon one- I just wanted to try making a masculine fairy design. I DO actually have proper Ljósálfar and Dökkálfar resplendents/alts (just pen drawings, no digital) and a Niðavellir and Joutun design. I might finish/polish them one day.

(You can probably guess the theme for my old default arena/aether raid team~♡)

What's with the hop-step in this corner you do?

We've got the whole world for our little one-two

One little crash is the start of something new

So I'll just enjoy becoming one with you

With a poof and hurrah, we'll just disappear

I bet no one will even notice that we're not here

We've said goodbye, but it's so amazing

That the world is ending with a--

The fic is done, the (actual) cover image is done (and would have been done a lot sooner had my lappy not started fucking up). It's not exactly what I had in mind, but the problem is, I don't know what I had in mind. Art's been hard for me, lately, but this gets the basic vibes across and that's the most I can hope for.

I've finished working for the day

But you won't come home anyway

So I'll bring the surprise I've been planning to you

I can't wait to hear what you're going to say...

Oh, my damn. I completely forgot I painted this. It was one of the last pieces of art I made on my old trusty lappy before it fully conked out. I posted on twitter (well back before Apartheid Clyde stuck his sticky fingers into it) but I forgot until I was looking through the files on my old phone's memory card.

If you haven't seen the og PV for "The Tailor Shop on Enbizaka", uh... go watch it and this pic will make a lot more sense.

Non-animated version for your viewing pleasure:

(God, I used to be decent at digital art... what happened to me?)

I'm so happy I'm not the only person who appreciates how absolutely fucked up Gunter's relationship with Corrin can lean depending on how much you want to delve into the implications that are VERY MUCH PRESENT in the canon text (he grooms them! From childhood! Maybe not in a sexual manner, but it's literally a grown man coaxing a child to trust him so they'll be loyal to and obey him and not their family! I have been openly declaring this since 2016 and I LOVE it!!)

And he slots so well into the yandere archetype because of it. I mean, come on: he raised this girl from childhood and whatever feelings he had have only gotten more intense as the years went on. The fact that he has that ball on him in their supports means he brought it with him on what they thought was a day trip to the border. Why are you carrying this woman's old, forgotten toys on your person everywhere you go if not because you are obsessed to the point of mental illness, sir?! And you know Gunter is the one who instilled that same level of obsession in Jakob, like "you put her above all else, you protect her above all else"- you will never convince me otherwise because it's not true.

Which, of course, leads to my personal favorite "implication" (if you will) of their relationship, which is that Gunter sees Corrin as a way of reclaiming what was stolen from him: a family. Garon took his wife and child, so now he's going to take Garon's child to make his wife and have a new child with her. Just to make the vengeance even sweeter, using his new family to strike down the killer of his old family (if you don't kill Garon with Gunter!Kana in Conquest, what are you even doing?). Years, possibly decades of stewing in the grief of his loss has made this man absolutely feral about having another child- which is why he keeps adopting every kid who's tossed into the Northern Fortress, but they never quite scratch the right itch. And you can definitely have genuine love and affection mixed in there, but also just imagine Anankos ramping that desire to start a new family up to 11... and then taking matters into his own claws if that doesn't happen~

(Oh wait, I did imagine that, and wrote it into a whole-ass fic like 6 years ago)

honestly i think yet another reason why gunter/corrin absolutely devoured my brain cells is there's a stunning range of "trope hardness" that you could play around with (how vanilla vs dead dove you want the relationship to go basically).

personally i find a lot of "canon" RPG romances are ... far too tame (both story & kink & preference-wise, cue being a die-hard crackshipper for decades before being shocked that nintendo would actually canonize somebody as crunchy as him lol).

but if you want ...

* ~vanilla~ gunter/corrin where it's a cute knight/leige may december courtship (basically the surface-level EN CQ route) focused on the romance versus the sexual angle, there's ample room for that.

* then there's a slightly darker romance where you can start having corrin being aware of the silas gaslighting, the truth of his backstory, kinda threading in Fates' inherent darker implications within the relationship, it's all right there for you to pick and choose from given both JP/EN scripts (and the things we learn in JP-specific peripherals).

* you can also play with the darker dubcon/noncon Revelation-specific possession plus relationship let alone the delicious incest/daddykink² angle with anankos.

* to be slightly crass and further pushing the intentionality, an outright ddlg kink dynamic is totally possible if not outright implied by a few lines in the supports if you like to play in this space lol.

* and then of course, full throttle dead dove northern-fortress 'bad touch'/predatory gunter (some of my favorite fics are this angle ngl)

..... which isn't even going into all of the above flavors in Conquest vs Revelation (two very tonally different games). and then eeeeverything in between if you're like me and like to mix and match depending on mood :3c

but the absolute best part is that his supremely crunchy backstory isn't diluted by the range; gunter's still a remarkably cohesive and compelling character no matter which version you opt for - or hell, if you have a different ship you prefer or even if you don't romance him in general.

we stan the skeeziest knight <3

I appreciate you both putting his boob window in the proper place AND making it the proper size. None of that itty bitty clavical-teasing nonsense from canon.

Also, the abs and massive bulge you just know are padded inserts in the suit. Ain't no way NAHA isn't out here sexualizing their golden boy as much as possible.

(He will set your apartment on fire if you don't take his hand, tho)

Have a good day :D or night ^^

Literally thought this the entire time I was suffering through season one, just "I would actually enjoy this setting and these characters if the story was about this middle aged man juggling being a hilariously out of touch "how do you do, fellow kids" teacher with being the most badass superhero to ever exist. Show me Toshinori trying to incorporate memes into his lessons- and using the most cringeworthy ones possible- interspersed with the most hardcore fight scenes ever animated!"

Basically what I wanted was the SWE's Abridged MHA, but with All Might as the main character. But what I got was... *shudders in disgust* NOT that.

bnha would be 9999x better as  a slice of life comedy centering around the teachers literally the #1 hero in the fucking world starts working at a highschool surrounded by coworkers that GREW UP LOOKING UP TO HIM and one of them JUST HATES HIM TO HIS FACE even though he ADMIRES HIM BEHIND HIS BACK and he gave his power to some random kid WITH A HAIR its fucking FUNNY!!!!!! THIS IS ONLY MEANT TO BE FUNNY WHY does it go SO  ‘ohh im deep..im epic..this is an epic deep story’ shut up bitch show me all might get ipad

“writing fanfics is something I do in my free time for fun. I will not treat it like a job and will instead treat it like a hobby because that’s what it is.”

also how it feels being a fanfic writer:

"Are you talking about your nemesis or your lover?"

i just want to bathe in his blood

STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!

Bleeding:

Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.

It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.

Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.

blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.

it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.

Stab wounds:

I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.

also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.

if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)

whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites

Concussion:

despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.

if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.

Fever:

you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.

ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:

sluggishness

seizures (severe)

inability to speak clearly

feeling chilly/shivering

nausea

pain

delirium

symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.

ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.

fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.

keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you

ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:

YOU DIE AT 85F

sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.

pt 2

Look, man- I ain't sitting through a new series just to have proper context for all the cute fanart/fics I've consumed of my new emotional support old man. Just let me play out the scenes of him and my 141762nd OC being cute together in my head.

Nothing worse than being obsessed with an ocs ship you haven't even properly written down yet

what's the level of brainrot when you're making dakimakura of the senior citizen blorbo :D

man this piece of media i like that's bad and sucks would be so cool and awesome if it wasnt bad and didnt suck. unfortunately,

it might just be because im sleep deprived from jetlag rn but this r/relationship_advice post is making me cry actual tears of laughter. i read the post at first and was like yeah pretty standard whatever but im nosey so i clicked on the drawing op linked and i was not mentally prepared for it. putting it under a read more so you can get the same experience as i did

some of the top comments

The story this pic was drawn for? It's done. I'll be updating daily.

"All I ask is that you stay with me until the end of the world. It doesn't matter if it's a month, a week, an hour from now- I want to spend the time I have left on this mortal coil with you, Sunshine."

Teaser image/soft cover for my next Binary Star Hero fanfic (it's taking forever because life and also, I've never written slice-of-life fluff before?). It's an epilogue/after story for the immediate aftermath of my first fic, Syzygy.

(Went with a different inking style because while I like digital sketching just fine, I just can't find a rendering style I'm comfortable with. I need a brush and ink in my hand😭)

Words instead of sighed and frowned?

Sighed - let out a deep audible breath or made a similar sound (such as weariness or relief)

Exhaled - breathed out

Heaved - uttered with obvious effort or with a deep breath

Huffed - emitted puffs (as of breath); usually with indignation or scorn

Insufflated - blew on, into, or in (something)

Puffed - blew in short gusts; exhaled forcibly

Snorted - forced air violently through the nose with a rough harsh sound (to express scorn, anger, indignation, or surprise)

Snuffled - breathed through an obstructed nose with a sniffing sound

Suspired - drew a long deep breath; sighed

Frowned - contracted the brow in displeasure or concentration

Glared - stared angrily or fiercely

Glouted - (archaic) frowned, scowled

Glowered - looked or stared with sullen annoyance or anger

Grimaced - distorted one's face in an expression usually of pain, disgust, or disapproval

Loured - looked sullen; frowned

Moue - a twisting of the facial features in disgust or disapproval

Pouted - showed displeasure by thrusting out the lips or wearing a sullen expression

Scoffed - expressed scorn, derision, or contempt

Scowled - contracted the brow in an expression of displeasure

Sulked - silently went about in a bad mood

Hope this helps. If it inspires your writing in any way, please tag me, or send me a link. I would love to read your work!

More: Word Lists

I've finished the sequel/afterstory for my Binary Star Hero fic- y'know, the one all the fanart I've done was for?- but now I'm delaying posting it because I have this idiotic notion in my head that my fanfics should have cover art for no reason other than the fact that I've been doing it for years. Don't know why I do it, it doesn't accomplish anything, but that awful voice in my head says "this literary work isn't complete without a visual representation of its themes".

Y'all got that dog in you? Well, I got that perfectionist in me and I wish I could take it behind the shed with a shotgun.

Maybe I'll just do the cover later...?

I am also a fan~♥︎

im a fucking sucker for the “character gets so badly injured that they can’t think clearly and start calling for help in a distressingly vulnerable way.” characters who start using nicknames for their friends they haven’t used since they were kids. characters who start begging for their brother they haven’t seen in years to be there. characters who would usually use their parents’ names or call them mother/father/etc crying out mama when they go down. u understand.

writing longfics has completely erroded my mind, because I'm here thinking "2k words isn't enough for a chapter, I'm just needlessly dragging this fic out, surely I should combine two chapters to make it worth reading", meanwhile sane motherfuckers are out here writing 200 words and calling it a complete story.

I think it's just because the fics I like update so rarely (if at all) that getting a long chapter feels worth the wait... but I'm the kind of person who (usually) prewrites a fic and updates weekly, if not daily. 2,000 words should be enough... right?

helpful sites for writers

i have a little collection of websites i tend to use for coming up with ideas, naming people or places, keeping clear visuals or logistics, writing basics about places i've never been to, and so on. i tend to do a lot of research, but sometimes you just need quick references, right? so i thought i'd share some of them!

Behind the Name; good for name meanings but also just random name ideas, regardless of meanings.

Fantasy Name Generator; this link goes to the town name generator, which i use most, but there are lots of silly/fun/good inspo generators on there!

Age Calculator; for remembering how old characters are in Y month in Z year. i use this constantly.

Height Comparison; i love this for the height visuals; does character A come up to character B's shoulder? are they a head taller? what does that look like, height-wise? the chart feature is great!

Child Development Guide; what can a (neurotypical, average) 5-year-old do at that age? this is a super handy quickguide for that, with the obviously huge caveat that children develop at different paces and this is not comprehensive or accurate for every child ever. i like it as a starting point, though!

Weather Spark; good for average temperatures and weather checking!

Green's Dictionary of Slang; good for looking up "would x say this?" or "what does this phrase mean in this context?" i love the timeline because it shows when the phrase was historically in use. this is english only, though; i dig a little harder for resources like this in other languages.

unless you're me and your idea of fixing something is "yeah, no- everyone still dies; the remaining characters just notice, now. I've introduced this nifty new emotion into the narrative- it's called 'grief'."

a comic about fix-it fanfics

"All I ask is that you stay with me until the end of the world. It doesn't matter if it's a month, a week, an hour from now- I want to spend the time I have left on this mortal coil with you, Sunshine."

Teaser image/soft cover for my next Binary Star Hero fanfic (it's taking forever because life and also, I've never written slice-of-life fluff before?). It's an epilogue/after story for the immediate aftermath of my first fic, Syzygy.

(Went with a different inking style because while I like digital sketching just fine, I just can't find a rendering style I'm comfortable with. I need a brush and ink in my hand😭)

I still wanna finish this fic- I was working on it for almost 4 years, I just hate Attack on Titan so much after that goddamn ending...! (Wet Pants Eren will haunt me for the rest of my days; I refuse to watch that be animated) I have the ending completely plotted out down to the last lines, there's just one fucking speedbump in my way!

But anyway, if you're ever bored and want to waste several days reading about Erwin Smith's almost two decade-long journey from military cadet to the greatest military asset in Paradis' history (complete with a romantic subplot that burns so slow it takes over 30 chapters for the idiots to say "I love you", the concept of minority races within the Walls having more of an impact on the story than just another thing to make Mikasa special, actual plot relevance given to the state-mandated genocide of a quarter of the population, the struggles of refugees and the poor, and the fact that Paradis is an oligarchal police state where people are routinely executed for wrongthink, the actual struggles of dealing with disabilities in pre-Victorian low fantasy setting y'know, instead of amputation being treated as a cosmetic change, and the grueling misery of maintaining a long-distance relationship prior to the advent of fast and reliable long-distance communication) this is the story for you!

(Seriously, i bought "Wings of Freedom" for this fic because I needed to know what places like Trost and Shiganshina looked like from street level. The game is fun as hell, but i didn't buy it for fun; i bought it for research. This level of brainrot this fic induced in me is unreal.)