Jumping Kicking Screaming Dying Crying Sobbing Bawling Kissing Hugging Smooching Jumping Doing Backflips

Jumping kicking screaming dying crying sobbing bawling kissing hugging smooching jumping doing backflips handing out cookies to all my followers <3

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAH THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE IM DEAD @writersp3n

Ghost is the type of dad that would always be super blunt with his kids. So when his toddler asks him how her little sister came to be in mummy’s belly, instead of weaving a tale of magic wishes and baby-delivering storks, he says simply “We had sex”.

Gaz is the type of dad that would have his kid’s birthday entertainer cancel on him last minute. Good news is that the party store down the road is still open. Bad news is that the Spiderman costume he buys himself is two sizes too small.

Soap is the type of dad that would get kicked out of his kid’s football game because of his unruly behavior in the stands. Apparently, encouraging a group of six year olds to “Bloody kill!” the other team is frowned upon by most parents.

Price is the type of dad that would shave off his facial hair because he wanted to change up his look a little, only to end up scaring his kids (even making his ten month old cry) because they thought a stranger had broken into the house.

OKAY GIRL THE TAGS ARE CRAZY NOW 😭😭😭😭😭I'M FEARING FOR YOU SWEETHEART ARE YOU OKAY-??? 😰😰😰😰😰

choke me men with big muscles!!! men with big muscles hold me down so i can’t move while you use me!!!!! please!!!!

Somnophilia with Simon "Ghost" Riley. [Kinktober Day 1]

Taking a nap after a big lunch when Simon slips into the bed next to you, spooning you as he slowly and surely started grinding his hard-on against your ass, his other hand sliding to your abs covered by a soft layer of fat. "Y'smell good, bird." He mumbled, his hand sliding to your pecs to squeeze one of the muscles. When he didn't get a response he propped himself up on one elbow looking down at you and that's when he realized... You're asleep. He grinned before slipping your pj pants down to your thighs and spooned you again, grinding into your ass more and a bit harder. Simon pulled his boxers down, grinding his bare, red, leaking cock against your new Halloween boxers he bought for you. Once he was leaking enough he pulled you boxers down to reveal your creamy, plump ass to the cold air. He slicked up your asshole with his slick. He made sure you were still asleep before he slowly and gently slipping his dick into your hole. He then paused and pulled your boxers down all the way before smelling them. Taking a big whiff before stuffing them into his mouth, muffling his grunts and groans. He continued thrusting softly until he couldn't hold back any more and pulled out, cumming all over your creamy ass before slumping back against the pillows, pulling your boxers out of his mouth and slipping it back onto your ass, making sure you stay covered in his spunk before drifting off to sleep, his hand draped over your mid-section.

Corruption Kink with Price [Kinktober Day 4]

TW: Kink, Corruption, MLM, Sex. RetiredNeighbor!Price moved in recently. When he saw your house he was well.. disturbed. So many flowers it was smelling sweeter than a candy shop. He hated it. Until he actually saw you. He couldn't stop his cock from chubbing up at the sight of you, struggling to reach a flowerpot hanging from the ceiling on your porch. He came over and helped you get the flower pot down, handing it to you. He smirked at your blush. Finding it cute. "Careful love, don't want it falling on your head." You nodded and he went back into his mancave [HOUSE.] The next day when he went to sit on his porch to smoke a cigar he found a bouquet with a note and chocolates strapped to it. He picked up the note, reading it. "Thank you for helping me with the flowerpot yesterday. xoxo M!Y/N." He chuckled and picked up the chocolates and bouquet, putting the flowers in an old vase he found and sat down on the chair on the porch, lighting the cigar and eating the chocolates. Few hours later when he saw you walk back home from the bakery you work at with a box of pastries his mouth curled into a smile and he waved, His cock chubbed up again as you smiled back, unlocking your door and stepping inside. The next day your clumsy ass managed to break the key in the lock, prompting Price to invite you into his home, which led to you both having dinner together *Price made it extra special by adding the bouquet you got him" You both were eating peacefully when you suddenly felt a big, warm hand on your thigh. You couldn't stop your dick from twitching, making Price grin. "Someone's excited, aye' love?" His hand gently ghosted over the bulge in your basketball shorts, making you whimper. "So innocent.. s'all for me?" You shuddered, Making Price grin wider and pick you up, bending you over the kitchen counter just to rub your creamy ass through the fabric of your basketball shorts. He delivered a hard spank to on cheek, making you cry out and your dick twitch. "Mmmh, such a cute ass. S'just F'me, innit doll?" Before you could even answer your clothes are torn off, leaving you in just your socks. Price grabbed some lube and slicked his chubbed cock up. The thick, angry red tip pressed against your virgin hole. Before he could slide in you spoke up. "Wait! Price wait... i'm.. i'm a virgin." He paused, then let out the hottest chuckle you've ever heard. It heightened your arousal. "So what Bird?, jus' lemme slide it in. Promise it won't hurt, yeah?" You nodded, trusting him. He slowly slid the angry red leaking tip in, making you squirm slightly. Once he was fully sheathed inside the tight heat did he start grinding his pelvis against your ass, making you gasp and arch, the friction of his thick cock pressing against you prostate made you drool and whine. "S'good doll?" You groaned. "Mhm! Very good!" He began to thrust slowly at first, then sped up making your legs shake and the fruit bowl fall off the counter, His meaty cock kept hitting your prostate making you drool all over the counter, eyes rolling back into your head as you felt Price's hand slip inbetween your legs, jerking you off while he continued thrusting. Stealing your virginity and ruining you for any other man. He continued thrusting until you finally came, the spunk spurting onto the kitchen floor. Once you finished his thrusts became even harder, hairy arms holding your hips as quickly pulled out, his spunk shooting all over your lower back and ass. "Fuck, Bird. Not a virgin anymore huh?" And the night ended with you and him sleeping in the same bed, the next morning Soap came to help you fix your lock... and maybe a threesome happened. <3

[LOOK AT HIS LITTLE GRIN EEEEEEE]

Dry Humping with König. [Kinktober Day 3]

TW: Dry Humping, 18+, mentions of edging, dirty kissing, dirty talk. MLM. Word Count: 2,404.

König was just relaxing, doing paperwork in his barracks when you suddenly walked in, clad in your military gear. König looked up at you and rasped out. "Was ist es Privat?" You squirmed under his gaze before speaking shyly. "I was wondering if i could help you with paperwork, i finished mine and you look like you need some help." König grinned under his mask, his silver blue eyes locked onto your uniform clad form. He knew damn well what you wanted. You were known as his person Barracks Bunny by the entire team. You were König's favorite. He patted his thigh and waited for you to sit. Once you sat down his grin widened, you sat right on his bulge. König wasn't stupid, He knew what he wanted. "Go on Maus, you know what i need." Just at that sentence you took your jacket off, getting off his lap and straddling his thigh, starting to dry hump his thigh. König Flexed his thigh to make your job easier, he loved watching you. He loved you. "Ja, hump me like a horny dog." You whined, humping his leg a bit harder while König just focused on his paperwork. Paying no attention to you until you whined and begged for his attention. König put his pen down and leaned back in his chair, looking down at you before grabbing your hips, making you hump him faster. "Begging for my attention du kleine schlampe.. ich kann nicht arbeiten so." His eyes went down to the bulge in your cargo pants, hand reaching down to unbutton it. "Take your pants off, jezt." He growled. You complied, quickly taking your pants off. Leaving you in just your boxers and white undershirt. "Mmmh, gut. richtig gut." He appreciated the sight before pulling you back onto his thigh. "Hump, Schatz." You started humping again, the friction delicious while König palmed your ass, squeezing and kneading the flesh. "Gonna be a good cumdump for your colonel?" You nodded eagerly, the friction making you drool. "Y-Yes colonel-" He hummed. "Good boy... very good boy." Right when you were about to cum he stopped you, making you whine in desperation but before you could say anything he kissed you, his tongue forcing his way into your mouth, mapping out the curves of your mouth. The sloppy kissing could be heard by Horangi and the team, who just shrugged and got back to work. König spoke again, his voice a raspy whisper. "Wanna make them know who's mine?, ja schatz?" When you nodded again he dove in for another sloppy kiss.

[THE SLUTTY WAIST?? HELLO??]